Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ SCREW THIS (CONCENSORED)!!! ❯ The cutting... IT BURNS!!! ( Chapter 2 )

SCREW THIS (CONCENSORED)!!! Chapter 2

Disclaimer: We do not own Sonic, Shadow, Amy, and any of the many other registered sonic characters used in here. I do however own Kiyu, and if you use him without permission, then I will hang you in my dungeon by your ankles, cut out random parts of you're body and feed them to you. Stevil belongs to moi and if you even think about using him without permission (in a demonic voice) I will hunt you down, rip off your arms and beat you to death with them, bring you back to life and repeat the process 5891009183589012098714650871364508971640587 times.

We in no way support rape, cutting, evil geniuses, violence, or alcohol abuse. We use them in this story for comedic purposes. We do however support S&M relationships if the M is nice and supportive of the S.

Any complaints about the Barbie thing will be responded to with verbal abuse.

We are in no way responsible for any offence to sonic fans, this product is here to make you laugh and cry from the aching in your sides, not to offend.

Hi, we are Kiyu and Stevil. We present this story to thou with the desire to make the laugh. Muchas Gracias.

* * *

The next day Tails wakes up screaming from a flashback dream he just had. He sat up and whimpered, “I feel so violated.”

Kiyu sat in the corner of the room still cutting himself.

“Won't you die from all that cutting?” Tails asked perplexedly staring at the Ocelot who was now practically bathing in his own blood, seeming to be in a frenzied state.

“NO I WON'T DIE I HAVE NO MORE BLOOD SO I CAN'T DIE FROM BLOOD LOSS!!!” replied Kiyu no longer cutting as his eyes turned from their normal yellow to green, his fur turned black and his shorts disappeared to be replaced by a scarf around her neck.

“Mmm…,” moaned Kiyu in a now very feminine voice, “finally, I haven't been out in years.”

“Jwah!?” yelled Tails who was totally weirded out.

“Don't yell,” said the new ocelot covering her ears and staring at him, “It's not like I'm gonna' kill you.”

“What the heck is going on in here?” asked Shadow as he walked into the room and looked around. Upon seeing the new ocelot, he adopted a teasing tone, “Oh, Tails, sorry to walk in on you and your new girl frie- ugh?”

Tails had watched in complete horror as the new black ocelot had launched herself at Shadow and planted her fist dead in his stomach, which had lifted him off of the ground, then feigned, then round house kicked him into the opposite wall, making a perfect imprint, which his fan-girls would soon cut out of the wall and worship.

“That'll teach you! I'm no mans property!” she stated as she walked closer to the hedgehog.

Feminists: (Crazy-mad cheerleading.)

“Who are you?” asked Tails still staring at Shadow, who was still imprinted in the wall even though he was struggling to get out.

She turned to him slowly, her eyes glinting red for a second, “I am Mira, Kiyus' inner demon.”

Shadow then succeeded in detaching himself from the wall and launched himself at Mira, who blocked his reverse spin kick, used a rolling sobat to kick the back of his knee, which caused him to kneel, then used a scissors kick to slam his head into the ground. “Never strike a woman,” she taunted, “didn't you mother teach you any manners?”

Feminist: MIRA!!! MIRA!!! MIRA!!! (Crazy Cheer!)

Shadow stood up from the floor shining with a red aura. Tails had just enough time to get out his chaos shield invention before shadow released his, “CHAOS BLAST!!!”

The blast nearly stripped tails of his shield and blasted Mira into the wall, where she then fell to the floor.

Feminists: Boo!!!

Shadow Fan Girls: (As they carve out his indent from the wall and start cuddling it.) Yeah Shadow. Go sexy!

Feminists: (Look at fan girls.)

Fan girls: (Look at Feminists.) Lesbos'

Feminists: Whores (large cat fight ensues.)

When the blast ended Shadow laughed manically, “Did you think you could strike me and live!? I am Shadow, the ultimate life form! I rule all, I destroy all, I am all! Bow before me and be spared, oppose me and perish ye mortal souls.”

Fan girls: (Stop fighting at once and worship the ground he stands on.)

Mira stands up, seeming to barely feel any pain at all from the blast. “The only way you could match me, was if you had that power in all of your attacks you wimp.”

Feminists: (Cheer)

Shadow looked around and stared into her eyes, not believing a chaos blast didn't beat her. Then, she charged him, and the fight continued.

(Enter Egg man)

Egg man: I have come to destroy you all! (Laughs maniacally) (Sees that no one cares.) Ok fine, I will wait in this corner until someone notices me. (Picks up Kiyus' knife and begins cutting.)

Mira does a full sobat combo to slam shadows face into the floor again and then uses her alchemy to transmute the air into a 1oo ib. weight and drop it on his head just as he rose.

Tails was just about to break up the fight with an invention he had just concocted when… (Enter Sonic)

Sonic: WILL YOU STOP IT YOU ARE ALL TEARING UP MY PAD, homies!

Egg man: I've got it!

Sonic: When did you get here?

Egg man: I'll transport them to the town square and let them destroy the town for me.

Sonic: Did you say something evil?

Egg man pulls out his instant transport thingy! (SO THAT'S HOW HE GETS WHERE HE SHOULDN'T BE!!!)

FLASH

(In Town Square.)

 

Mira slams shadow through a building, not noticing the change of scenery. Shadow however, noticed as he blasted through a window and into a gun store. He quickly pulled up a rifle from the pile of guns that cushioned his fall and shot a few rounds of at Mira who was now running at him. One of the rounds hit and instead of killing her it blew her back into a wall. She then transmuted a hand gun from air and gangster shot at Shadow who army rolled out of the line of fire picked up an RPG and then got gangster shot in the knee. The bullet bounced off and hit him in the nose.

Now, totally and utterly (concensored) the (concensored) off, Shadow used his “Ultimate Power,” to teleport using chaos control and end up behind Mira. He then, (concensored) slapped Mira in the face blasting her into the candy store.

Children: (Cry like Babies)

Sonic: I felt a great disturbance in the force.

After eating some chocolate, Mira climbed out of the store and blasted the (concensored) out of him with… a chocolate box.

(Enter Stevil and rest of party.)

Sonic: (Points and laughs at Shadow) Shadow is getting his (concensored) handed to him by a girl!!!

Amy: Oh no they are destoirning the town, and the malls. The poor malls… (sniffle, sniffle.)

Tails: What's destoiming? (Pulls out translator robot.)

Robot: Error, Error! ( Head explodes.)

Amy: Oh shut up! Some one needs to do something.

(All turn to Stevil.)

Stevil: What? Why are you staring at me?

Tails: Because you need to do something while I teach Amy to spell!

While they were talking, Shadow had come back strong in the fight, beating Mira back and into a bar while using his teleportation. Just as he thought his win was sure, Mira transmuted a shield behind her, which he smashed into, and used her demonic powers to blast him back with a red beam.

Town onlookers and people: (Run away as fast as possible.)

Before Shadow could teleport again, Mira had transmuted a double bladed sword. Shadow pulled out a pistol that he had hidden in his chest fur. They stopped their movement. Shadow stood there with his gun on Miras' forehead and Mira with her blade at his neck slightly digging into the skin.

Shadow Fangirls and Feminists: Oh no, not a…

“I like you,” Mira said, “therefore, I will let you live… maybe”

Shadow smiled and said, “We'll call it a draw.”

Shadow Fangirls and Feminists:… A TIE!!! (Start beating each other into bloody pulps.)

Stevil: Ok, I'll end this now. (Walks up to Mira. Puts on mask) Hay you!

Mira: Me?

Stevil: Yes you god (concensored) sun of a (concensored).

Mira: I'm a girl.

Stevil: Do you mind, I'm on a roll here. Any way, come on, get over your self! I mean come on, transmuting stuff from thin air, that's so (concensored) cheap, and gangster shooting is so stupid. How do you think most gangsters survive, getting shot? For the waste of some good chocolate, (shudder) I will never for give you for that… NEVER!

Mira: Well (concensored) off (concensored). Where's this goin' anyway? Oh, yeah, and you are a (concensored) (concensored) (concensored) (concensored) (concensored) (concensored) (concensored) (concensored) (concensored) (concensored) (concensored) (concensored) (concensored) (concensored) (concensored) (concensored) (concensored) (concensored) (concensored) (concensored) (concensored) (concensored) (concensored) (concensored)!

Stevil: Well it's going to (walks right up to Mira) This! (Give Mira the best… No I mean it the best (concensored) slap the world has ever, EVER seen… EVER!!!!!) Get over it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!

Instantly, Kiyu returns. “Where am I!? What happened!? WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?

Stevil: (Think yes the mask is working HAHAHAHAHA) I'm the ghost of Christmas past. BOOOOOOOOOOO!

Kiyu: (Little girl scream!) don'eatme, don'eatme, don'eatme, don'eatme, don'eatme, don'eatme, don'eatme!!!

Kiyu looks down to find himself in a bar, but just before he runs over for booze he sees a broken rum bottle.

Kiyu: (Long silence as he stares. Then…) NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He is just about to recede back into his happy place when…

 

THE END!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

… A black cat with a sign came in and beat him down with…

A SIGN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As he lifted the sign from the down stroke every one was able to read.

Sign: Shut the (concensored) up. I'm tryin' ta' sleep here!!!

 

(THE REAL END!!!)

Thanks for readin'. Review please. If you do we will supply all of the curses used in this fic at the end of the story.