Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ SCREW THIS (CONCENSORED) ❯ SCREW THIS (CONCENSORED) THE NEXT SEASON! ( Chapter 1 )

 

SCREW THIS (CONCENSORED)!!! Chapter 3

Disclaimer: We do not own Sonic, Shadow, Amy, and any of the many other registered sonic characters used in here. I do however own Kiyu, and if you use him without permission, then I will hang you in my dungeon by your ankles, cut out random parts of you're body and feed them to you. Stevil belongs to moi and if you even think about using him without permission (in a demonic voice) I will hunt you down, rip off your arms and beat you to death with them, bring you back to life and repeat the process 5891009183589012098714650871364508971640587 times. I own Emmyx! If you use him or relate to him in your own (CONSENSORED) fanfiction or whatever without asking ME, I will suffocate you with eggman's fat rolls!

We in no way support rape, cutting, evil geniuses, violence, or alcohol abuse. We use them in this story for comedic purposes. We do however support S&M relationships if the M is nice and supportive of the S.

Any complaints about the Barbie thing will be responded to with verbal abuse.

We are in no way responsible for any offence to sonic fans, this product is here to make you laugh and cry from the aching in your sides, not to offend.

Hi, we are Kiyu and Stevil. We present this story to thou with the desire to make the laugh. Muchas Gracias.

 

[A WEEK AND A HALF AFTER THE LAST EPISODE]

Kiyu: Okay everybody. Since I finally put a roof on this thing, the bar is open! *Roof is the skin of Big The Cat*

Stevil: Don't we need drinks for it to be a bar?

Kiyu: … Oh yeah… Right…

Sonic: Well, I could always dash to the nearest bar and buy something…

Kiyu: Screw the money I have money!

Shadow: *Shadow steps in* I need a keg of Scotch!

Kiyu: That'll be a chaos emerald, please.

Shadow: YES! TAKE IT! I NEED ALCOHOL! *chucks emerald* wait a minute… NOOO!!!!

*Kiyu catches the emerald and holds it above his head. Zelda Item music plays.* Chaoschemy! *GIANT WARP HOLE APEARS FROM NOWHERE AND BOOZE POURS OUT.*

*Silver falls out of hole crying*

Silver: How many times do I have to tell you it was only once, twice!

Sonic: … Oh… It's that one guy…

Rouge: Yeah… What was his name?

Kiyu: Who cares? Where the hell's the rum!?

*Blaze falls from hole. Lands on Silver. Smacks Sliver* How DARE you…

Stevil: Oh boy! A nothing fight! I'll get the camera! *Runs off*

Sonic: Ooo! It's Blaze!

Shadow: Where the hell's my scotch?! Oh my God is that Blaze?!

Kiyu: *Hands him the scotch.* Yes… It IS Blaze. Boo!

Shadow: *faints from blood loss*

Kiyu: Ewww… I'll never see scotch the same…

Sonic: Don't you me-

Kiyu: SHUT UP! I KNOWS WUT I'Z SAYS!

Blaze: You are so NAÏVE! You never cheat on a princess! *Burns Silver's face with fire* Wait a minute…how did we get here?

*Stevil pops out of the fire on silvers face* Sorry I died, damn plat forming. *Runs off again*

Kiyu: Good luuuck!! (looks back at Blaze) BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL!!!

Voice from void: THAT'S MY BEER!!! HANDS OFF!!!

*Robot leaps from void holding on to 6 pack and dragging a huge hand*

Emmyx: Get your OWN beer, God! *snaps 6 pack out of hands. Fires laser into void. Closes void*

Kiyu: Don't mind if I do! *Snatches beer pack*

Sonic: Emerl! Yur a robot!

Shadow: (While fainted) No (CONSENSORED) Sherlock…*faints again at sight of Blaze*

Emmyx: wait a second…*looks at hands* WHERES MY BEE- oh you did not just do WHAT I THINK YOU DID!!!!!!

Kiyu: (CONSENSORED) right I did!

Emmyx: oh well…its no problem. *makes more beer in hand* sooo…where am I again?

Kiyu: Ooh! More beer! :D *tries to snatch* *Emmyx creates barrier* Aww…

Sonic: whered you copy that?

Emmyx: a bunch of places. I just updated their powers. So why am I in Mobius and why is blaze here? And who the hack is she sitting on?

Kiyu: 1 word explains all things…. Puppies

Emmyx: that…makes…SO MUCH SENSE!

Rouge: WE FINALLY FOUND THE MEANING OF LIFE!

*Tails crashes through window* SONIC! I NEED A MARTINI!

*Amy crashes down door on Silver*I will not be having my children drinking booze!

Sonic: WE ARE NOT A FAMILY!!!

Emmyx: Hey Amy, there's a sale on children's trading cards! I will send you there before they sell out! *pushes Amy into random void*

Sonic: where did you REALLY send her?

[Eggmans place]

Eggman: Hahaha! I have a good plan THIS time! I will make a robot so sexy that sonic will drop dead from blood loss!

Robot: Sonic's not into robots.

*Awkward silence...*
Eggman: Aww (CONSENSORED)!

*Eggman's stomach extends*

Amy: GET ME OUT OF HERE! I SEE NO TRADING CARDS!

Eggman: HOLY MOTHER (CONSENSORED) I REALLY AM PREGNANT!

Sally: Yay!

[Back at bar]

*Kiyu closes all stray warp holes.* Pesky devils… `aint they?

Blaze: No doubt.

Rouge: SILENCE, SLAVE! *Whips Kiyu.*

Kiyu: WHERE DO YOU GET THOSE!?

Sonic: From her va- *Blasted in the face… By Rouge.*

*Stevil comes back with the camera.* Wait, why did I need this again?

Kiyu: I dunno…

*Sonic struggles to get to his feet*

Random Music: Maeahee Maeahoo. Maeahaa Maea ha ha!

*Emmyx finally gives Tails his martini* Kiyu, how much is a martini around here?

Kiyu: 5.15 for friends!

Emmyx: okey dokie. *Holds up gun* Hand it over.

Tails: *Pulls out gun* Do you feel lucky punk!

Emmyx: *pulls out gatling gun in other hand* you betcha

Kiyu: Tails. You must take your place in the circle of puppies.

Tails: Ok! Ok! *throws gun into the air, and money at Emmyx* Do I get my drink now?

Kiyu: NO! *Takes his martini and runs.*

Silver: *from under door* H-help m-m-meee..!

Emmyx: ok fine, whatever you are… *Picks up door from a distance using the floorce*

Kiyu: *hops on door while running from Tails. Door slams on Silver again*

Shadow: this is insane…WHERE ARE MY FAN GIRLS???

Blaze: forget the fans, what ever happened to Sonic?

*everyone stops*

Emmyx: *looks around* and wheres Rouge?

Shadow: Oh (CONSENSORED)! I told Rouge to stop raping people!

Sonic: *from far away* I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DO THIS TO KIYU!!! … Oooohh… boobies…

Knuckles: Da N man is back! *Looks around* hay where is Rouge?

Sonic: *Still far away* They're so big!

Knuckles: Oh good now someone else can get crushed by her huge (CONSENSORED) breasticals.

Stevil: No! we can't let the fan girls find out about this! It would end the world as we know it!

Kiyu: Blaze! Do something!

Blaze: *Sighs* If I must… *Lights a fire on a beer bottle*

Sonic: *rushes at 600 mph to save the beer* *gets launched back by neck by a whip*

Emmyx: Hold on Sonic! *stops time* walks over to Sonic and unties him. Creates jewel* Rouge! FETCH!

*Throws jewel at Rouge*

Rouge: MINE! MINE! MINE! *Runs after it*

Blaze: PUT YOUR PANTS ON!

*All of the windows break at once as thousands upon thousands of robots detain our brave heroes with the most powerful thing in the universe … Tentacles!* Eggman: I demand that you'll come to my baby shower! *Laughs (CONSENSORED) evilly*

Kiyu: TENTACLE RAPE WAS NOT ON MY AGREEMENT SHEET! I DEMAND A RAISE!

Eggman: I'm too poor for that! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!! MY DASTARDLY PLANS HAVE BEEN FOILED!... again…

Sonic: And you didn't expect this, why?

Eggman: because I was too caught up in the joy of fatherhood!

Sonic: O_O

Kiyu: So how much did you pay for the hooker?

Eggman: I didn't.

Shadow: ……..HOLY MOTHER (CONCENSORED)!!!

Blaze: (gets dizzy from sickness)

Kiyu: So you did it with Amy?

Sally: HELL NO!

Kiyu: Oh! So he did it with you… I got it.

Emmyx: FALCON GUT PUNCH!!! (gut bashes eggman. Amy pops out ass) EPIC FALCON KICK! (kick Sally into next week…literally)

Sonic: NO PUT IT BACK!!!! PUT!!! IT!!! BAAAAAAAACK!!!!

Kiyu: Demand a refund!

Emmyx: Oh crap! (puts eggman in Amy's tum tum)

Kiyu: … Now I DEMAND A REFUND!

Blaze: WRONG WAY! WRONG WAY!

Emmyx: oops…(somehow turns Amy inside out and appears inside eggman) [POP]

Stevil: that is IT! I'm solving the problem. (Pulls out phone, and dials a 1-800 number) Hello? Satan I need an abortion stat.

Kiyu: I WILL DO THE SUMMONING!

Everyone: NO!

*Kiyu does it anyway*

[Satanic music plays]

*A propeller rises from the portal, followed by an imitation blueberry.*

Omochao: Press A to jump MIND SLAVES!!!

Sonic: *Falls to his knees clutching his head.* NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kiyu: *Eyes go wide and dialate*

Emmyx: (throws a eggman at omochao)```

Omochao: IMA FIRIN MAH LAZAH! NYAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!! *Blue blast of (CONSENSORED)*

Blaze: THE SHOOP DA WOOP?! HOW IS THAT POSSIBL-BWAAAHHHH!!!!!!

Stevil: it's contagious! *Looks suspiciously back and forth* BWAAAHHHH!!!!!!I

Omochao: WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM!????

Shadow: Daddy!

Omochao: Don't worry Shady. I'm your friend. Come here and let me cut you… I mean hug you.

Stevil: *Pulls out pencil and paper* So that is what happens when the Devil and Jesus (CONSENSORED)

Shadow: AHH! I CANT DEAL WITH SIGNS OF AFFECTION THAT'S NOT FEMALE!!!

Shadow fan girls: YAYY!!!

*Blaze blushes*

Anti Shadaze fans: NOO!!!

Omochao: It's time I told you all everything. I am you father. You are my grandchild, and 2+2= eleventy three and a half.

Kiyu: … BRAINSSSS!!!

Sonic: SALLY! WE CAN BE A FAMILY!

Amy: GET AWAY FROM MY SONIKU YOU (CONSENSORED)!!!

Eggman: MY FAT! ITS NEVER JIGGLED LIKE THIS BEFORE!

(from outside) Froggy! WHERE ARE YOUUUUU!! I wana go feeesheeeng!

(from Rouge's bra) Help me! Don't let him molest me! *suck suck suck*
Kiyu: GOD (CONSENSORED) IT!!! THAT MILK IS MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Hops in and kicks Froggy's ass!*

Tails: (CONSENSORED) it! Roofs shouldn't talk! *Pulls out duck tape* Time to fix a leek.

Knuckles: All this manliness is getting me all excited! *Startes puching everything in sight.*

Blaze: This is ridiculous…I should really be getting back to punishing Silver for cheating on me…

Shadow: Let me help! *pulls silver out of chaos control warp…thing…hole…* DIE YOU CRACKER! (starts beating the (CONSENSORED) out of Silver)

Emmyx: (looks at viewers) We do not approve of racism in any form. However, it is extremely funny for a black hedgehog to talk like that to a white hedgehog…SO LET THE MADNESS CONTINUE!...in the next episode.

All: CLIFFHANGER (CONSENSORED)S!

 

 

Mario: See you next time!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SCREW THIS (CONCENSORED)!!! Chapter 3 Part 2

Disclaimer: We do not own Sonic, Shadow, Amy, and any of the many other registered Sonic characters used in here…actually, we do not own anything in this fanfic at all other than the characters listed below. I do however own Kiyu, and if you use him without permission, then I will hang you in my dungeon by your ankles, cut out random parts of your body and feed them to you. Stevil belongs to moi and if you even think about using him without permission (in a demonic voice) I will hunt you down, rip off your arms and beat you to death with them, bring you back to life and repeat the process 5891009183589012098714650871364508971640587 times. I own Emmyx! If you use him or relate to him in your own (CONSENSORED) fanfiction or whatever without asking ME, I will suffocate you with eggman's fat rolls for all eternity!

We in no way support rape, cutting, evil geniuses, violence, or alcohol abuse. We use them in this story for comedic purposes. We do however support S&M relationships if the M is nice and supportive of the S.

Any complaints about the Barbie thing will be responded to with verbal abuse.

We are in no way responsible for any offence to sonic fans, this product is here to make you laugh and cry from the aching in your sides, not to offend.

Hi, we are Kiyu and Stevil. We present this story to thou with the desire to make the laugh. Muchas Gracias.

 

Mario: It'sa me aMari- *Get's shot by Shadow, Emmyx, and a little girl on the street.

Little girl: (CONCENSORED)ing DIE E.T. your game sucks!

Kiyu: WHeEeeEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Stevil: WIAT! Last time on SCREW THIS (CONCENSORED)-

[A brief recap we are not going to show you happens.]

Amy: Sonic, I'm pregnant, and knuckles is the father.

Sonic: … YAY!!! I DON'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH YOUR CRAP ANY MORE!

Amy: Nah! I'm just bull(CONCENSORED)ing you.

Sonic: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blaze: …Imbeciles…

Emmyx: *Staring into the horizon*

Tails: Whatcha doooin'?

Emmyx: Watchin' Hennnntai.

Amy: *Mauls Emmyx with her piko piko hammer.* DON'T SAY THAT TO MY BAAAAYBE!!!!

Sonic: WE ARE NOT A FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!

Screen writer: Take two…

Tails: Whatcha doooin'?

Emmyx: *Emmyx's eyes blink and fade slowly*

Tails: =O_O=

Emmyx: {DOONG!}

Shadow: HOLY (CONCENSORED) HE'S A MAC!

Tails: This explains it all…

Screen Writer: Take three.

Tails: Whatcha doooin'!?!

*Emmyx's eyes begin extending towards Rouge's chest, stopping just before they make contact with her cleavage. Kiyu pops out to see what's going on.*

Kiyu: HOLY (CONCENSORED) ON A (CONCENSORED)ING (CONCENSORED) WITH Extra soy sauce. …. !?!?!@?!.com

Emmyx: That's yur milk. I'ma stay far away. No wait

*emmyx makes a spout*

Almost there

*fuses it with nipples*

GO TO IT!

*puts on full blast for kiyu*

Silver Is once again messing with blaze, and she's so pissed she's about to toast him. But Shadow, being the gentleman that he is, pimp slaps him across the room, into Rouge's cleavage.

In a fit of territorial rage, Kiyu uses alchemy just as Sally comes into the bar.

*pop*

Silly the Nerdy (CONCENSORED) was borndeded.

^_^ *Kiyu is proud of himself.*

Tails: Long!? That's the understatement of the year. I could get to the bottom of the atlantic before he got to the bottom of that.

Emmyx: Allow me to rephrase: the number (in feet) is to large for even my godly scanners to detect

Emmyx: THATS how 'long' it is

Silver: Almost as long as my dick right Bla- *PWNED BY BLAZE*

*and shadow

Sonic: Yet it's still not a big enough place to successfuly hide from Amy.

Amy: You'll never escape me Sonikuu!

*Amy jumps sonic*

Tails: O_O SOOONIIIIIIC!!!!!!!!

Emmyx: ILL SAVE YOU! *stops time for amy*

*makes shadow clone*

*makes shadow clone loook like sonic*

*makes sonic undetectable to Amy*

*unpauses Amy*

Sonic clone: GET AWAY FROM ME!

Amy: Sonic! We can make a family now!

Emmyx: Personallity downloaded.

Sonic clone: *runs away*

*Amy follows*

Everyone in bar: YAAAAAY!

Metal Sonic: ... Any possible way you could do that and save me from.

*Wall breaks down*

*New boss is introduced.*

Metal Amy.:*Evil laugher so scary, it scares Emmyx*

Emmyx: HOLY (CONCENSORED)! You're on your own pal. *teleports everyone but them into a dimensional rip s they can watch*

Sonic: I never thought I'd feel bad for that rust bucket.

Emmyx: you already have. Don't you remember your movie?

Emmyx: of course Eggman created one that's worse

Eggman created metal tails. of course he created something worse.

Tails: What's that supposed to mean!?

Kiyu: ... *Whispers something from inside Rouge's bra.*

Tails: O-O *goes into fetal position*

Emmyx: *also goes into fetal position*

Blaze: Why are you acting so scared, Emmyx?

Emmyx: Being a god isn't always a good thing…

Blaze: ?

*Kiyu tumbles out of Rouge's shirt, her boobs having returned to a normal size.*

*Kiyu is asleep because his tummy is full*

Shadow: i think it means he has infinite hearing capability and we dont'

Knuckles: I think he...

Blaze: oh...wait LOOK!

O_O

*Looks*

Sonic: * Looks*

Emmyx: *out of fear* STEVILS STIL OUT THERE!

Big: *Looks*

FROGGY!

Stevil: I'm done platforming-waait who's that *sees metal Amy* HOLY *Camera goes off*

*Big tumbles through the rift, crushing metal sonic and metal Amy.*

Emmyx: Ok they're gone. Blaze go for it

*burns the three to a crisp*

Everyone: BACON!!!

*Kiyu makes a kitty burp in his sleep, and all is well in the world.*

Omochao: … WHAT THE (CONCENSORED)!!!!!!

[Outside of the bar.] Omochao: How dare they all be happy?! Happiness is forbidden!... Unless you press the A button.

Emmyx: *thinks a moment* Wait, you said a button was to jump.

Omochao: You can't be happy without jumping!

YOU CAN'T

NO ONE CANT!!!!!!

Emmyx: THEN Y IS THERE LEGEND OF ZELDA?!

Emmyx: THERES NO JUMPING ALLOWED!

Emmyx: and it still kicks ass

Blaze: He has a point.

Sonic: also, Mario jumps all the time, but he's not happy at all.

Shadow: that explains the shrooms and the ho at the end

Amy: There's a ho?

ROUGE!

Rouge: I"M NOT A HO!

Emmyx: HOW DID YOU GET BACK HERE?! ...and wheres 'sonic'?

Amy: Now we're together forever. *Wearing his head.*

Kirby: *jumps in and takes sonic hat*

Amy: O_O HE STOLE MY BABY!

Dead sonic hat: WE ARE NOT A FAMILY!

Stevil: *presses the A butten* I hate platforming.

Cream: MR. SONIC! *eyes dialate*

Kiyu: zzzzz...

Silly: Whats that small dog doing?

Emmyx: Small dog?!

Silly: *points at Kiyu*

Emmyx: thats not a dog

Tails: It's becoming a pokemon.

Silly: Then what is it?

Tails: It's becoming a pokemon.

Silly: whats a pokemon?

Stevil: OH No! teh kitty is lossing it's buzz we must get the bar back!

Tails: ... Get it back?

Omochao: HA I HAVE TAKEN YOUR BAR WITH THE A BUTTON!!!

Espio: *runs past like the narutard he is*

Sonic: *looks up* OH MY GOD HES MADE IT INTO A STRIP BAR

Espio: *runs into strip bar*

*Amy swings around the pole*

Sonic: MY EYEES!!!!!! (at amy)

Vector: *looking under rocks, in windows, in Rouge's bra*

Blaze: What are you looking for exactly?

Vector: The computer room

Shadow: *extends hand out toward emmyx*

Emmyx: Right. *creates shadow rifle*

Tails: NO THIS IS MY NEW EXPERIMENT!

*Cackles and drags off Emmyx*

Shadow: (CONSENSORED) he took my gun!

*Shadow poofs off*

Silly: where'd he go?

*screen goes fuzzy*

*Evolution music emmanates from Kiyu*

*shows shadow at boot camp grabbing his crotch and running around in circles*

Shadow: *holding shadow rifle* THIS IS MY RIFLE! THIS IS MY GUN! THIS IS FOR FIGHTING! THIS IS FOR FUN!

Knuckles: Calm down, ya hobo.

Evolution music: Dun Dun… Dun Dun… *Kiyu evolves into A BLUE DOBERMAN*

Lucarion: It is heavily implied that I am making fun of a popular children's tv show that includes homicidal animals with super powers that stars a retarded ten year old who never ages… or gets any. (It is heavily implied that I am referring to sex)

Stevil's fun facks: lucarion is the blue Doberman.

Silly: I NEVER WOULDVE GUESSED! …whats a Doberman?

Lucarion: It is heavily implied that you are a dumb(CONSENSORED).

Silly: So like, a Doberman is like a, wait, like a, like a, CONSENSEEEERD?

Omochao: Press the R1 button to destroy the censor barrier.

Stevil: Right! *Presses the B button and breaks the censored barrier.*

Shadow: WHAT THE FUCK IS A CONSENSORED YOU DUMB BITCH?!

Cream: *Faints at angry words as eyes roll into the back of her head*

Lucarion: O_O Don't pass out! It is heavily implied that this is Japan and that you are a little girl!

*He tries to save her before the tentacles come… but it's too late.*

*Pedo bear laughs triumphantly!*

Lucarion: IT IS HEAVILY IMPLIED THAT YOU ARE NOW MY ENEMY! (To Pedobear)

Sonic: … DAMN YOU JAPAN!
Tails: FUCK YOU GUNDAMS!

Rouge: *MAKIN' SOME CASH…. In the strip bar.*

Omochao: *Hired Knuckles as the bar tender.*

Hahahahahahahahahaaaaaaa*coughs* Man, I really gotta stop smoking.

Stevil: Tell me about it.

Shadow: (somehow back from boot camp) *freezes in fear* He…hes here!

Emmyx: Oh mother of me! I mean God!

Blaze: What?

Tails Doll: COME PLAY WITH ME! I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL FROM YOUR BODY AND FEAST UPON YOUR FLESH! Doesn't that sound like fun?

Blaze: -_- *lights Tails doll on fire*

Tails Doll: AHHHHHH!!!! OWWW! YOU FUCKING BITCH!

Shadow: DAMN YOU! *pulls out sub machine gun and makes Tails Doll do the `lead dance'* NOBODY TALKS LIKE THAT TO MY GIRL!

Sonic: Geez! Over protective much?

Stevil: No speaking gooder English nao?

Lucarion: Thanks four sautéing it. *Walks over, and it is heavily implied that he eats the TAILS DOLL.*

Tails: …….. Da fuck?

Lucarion: Itadakimasu. And now it is time to enact my plan to infiltrate the strip bar. *He ninjas away*

Emmyx: I COULD just take the bar back by force, but… *playing WOW* …I'm almost done with this quest.

Charmy: YOU HAVE NO LIFE!! HAHAHA- *face gets ripped off by Emmyx and thrown in recycle bin*

Silly: *also playing WOW* …so I have to use the mouse to click stuff?

Amy: Sonic! I got lots of money now! WE CAN START A-

Sonic: WE ARE NEVER GOING TO BE A FAMILY!

Emmyx: Shit the spell wore off. Sonic's doomed. (At least it's not me). *makes cake* *Entire cast of DOA girls pop out of cake*

Tails: ARE YOU INSANE!? THIS IS JAPAN! *Giant tentacle monster attacks Japan to get at the boobs.*

Emmyx: I know that! (I know everything for God's sake…) This is great hentai. *films DOA girls+tentacle montage*

Blaze: You pervert! *tentacles come out of the ground at her*

Shadow: FUCK YOU! *COCK BLOCK!*

*Tentacle monster dies from lack of cock.*
Blaze: *looking surprised* Umm…thank you, Shadow.

Chris Thorndike: *from around a corner* Are you having an orgasm?

Lucarion: STOP VILLIAN! *It is heavily implied that Lucarion is beating up a pedophile.* (It is heavily implied that the pedophile's name is Christopher Thorndike…the douchebag.)

Chris: Oh, harder!

Lucarion: I'll show you harder!

*Terrifying noises heavily imply that Chris is dead now.*

Chris: Oh, my… it really was harder!

Rouge: My sex appeal is so powerful I can steal catch phrases. It is heavily implied that my boobs are too big.

(from inside bar) “AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!” “OH DEAR LORD!” “RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!” “SCREEEEEE!!”

Sonic: What the-

*Everyone runs out of bar*

Knuckles: OH MY FUCKING GOD! RUN!

Emmyx: DAMN YOU LOLZ4FUN911! Worst healer ever… *smashes computer through planet* Ok whats going on Knuckles?

Knuckles: It's too horrible to even say! *digs away*

Amy: *looks into bar and eyes melt*

Emmyx: Ok whats the big de-

…

0-0

OH MY GOD!

Eggman: *rolling around strip poll*

Emmyx: THAT'S IT! SCREW THIS! *uses time control and rewinds to where Eggman is undressing in strip bar.* *creates a huge censor bar around Eggman* *warps back to present*

Amy: *looks into bar* I found where the rainbow begins!

Lucarion: Now it is time to put things into action.

*Smacks Emmyx, knocking out one of his lenses. Uses the lens to amplify his powablast times 1 billion therefore making it a pinpoint shot into Omochao's head, through Eggman.*

Eggman: *Makes a bear noise*

Stevil: Could have had a V-8 *smacks Eggman with a V-8*

Omochao: Ha! You think a simple power blast could defeat m- *his head explodes*

Lucarion: It is heavily implied that I won't be needing this anymore. *Knocks Emmyx's lens back in place*

Emmyx: YOU DUMMY! ITS UPSIDE DOWN!

Lucarion: I can fix that. *Knocks them both out and puts them in right side up, but it is heavily implied that they are both in the wrong slots.*

Stevil: You both could have had a V-8!

Lucarion: It is heavily implied that Emmyx is malnourished. *Smashes a pie on his face* EAT IT!

Sonic: …Aren't we forgetting something? *points at strip club sign*

Shadow: Who cares about that!? Eggman's been in there!

Emmyx: *whispering to Stevil* This is dragging on way too long…should I just put an end to it?

Stevil: Yes. *pulls Emmyx arm down and slot machine slots whirl around on his chest*

*3 Dragonballs appear on the slots*

Emmyx: *pulls out remote from behind him and points it at the sky* *bad-ass music plays from nowhere* *extends arms outward and glows a bit before exploding into energy and flinging Stevil back*

Everyone: *looks*

Emmyx: Let's just get this over with! *makes hand signs and creates a hundred shadow clones*

All Emmyxes: *mouth slots open*

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEetc.

*warp hole opens in the bar like that thing that happened with Buu in DBZ*

Real Emmyx: TIME TO END IT! *jumps up out of the crowd and uses metamorphisis to transform into Captain Falcon* SONIC! SPIN DASH! NOW!

Sonic: Right! *spin dashes toward CF*

Captain Falcon: FALCOOOON… *waits for when Sonic is close*

PUUUUUUUUUUNCH!!!!! *punches Sonic toward Eggman at 90 times the speed of sound*

*Eggman's fat rolls protect him from being ripped in two, and bounces into the hole just as it closes up again*

*clones disappear and Emmyx changes back*

Everyone else: *jaws on floor*

Emmyx: Bar's open. :D

Authors: LOL

[End Ep.]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SCREW THIS (CONCENSORED)!!!!!!!!! Ep 4.

It is heavily implied that we needed a new disclaimer. GET OVER IT! (On my lap)

Sonic: What? New Disclaimer? Where are we going to find one of those?

Emmyx: I would tell you, but it would ruin the whole plot of this episode.

Lucarion: It is heavily implied that you are being mysterious.

Amy: That's hot.

Tails: I know. Let's put up music videos on Youtube.

*All turn to Emmyx *

Vector: I found the computer room.

*SIRENS BLARE AND THE COPS COME IN TO SET FORTH A LAWSUIT*

PHOENIX : OBJECTION!!!

A BUNNY!!!: I'm suing too!

Authors: WE MADE YOU!

A BUNNY!!!: (CONCENSORED BAR)

Plot holes: WE'RE SUING YOU TOO!!!

Stevil: WAIT! Why are you suing us now?

Plot Holes: We're suing because you made a copy writed reference to a copy writed series… Copy write.

Tails: OBJECTION!!! You can only sue us if we use references that we do not own and claim that we own them! Therefore, we have until the end of the episode to gain a new disclaimer!

Sonic: But where are we going t-

Amy: SONIKKUU!!!

Sonic: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!

Shadow: 0-0 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Emmyx: *shrugs* AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH[And so forth!!!]!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Goku: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vegeta: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!