Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ Sonic Heroes Uncut ❯ The Beginning ( Prologue )

Sonic Heroes Uncut

 

Intro: Sonic has a fear of closed and open spaces and just as confused as Shadow, Tails quotes anime and dumper than a sack of dirty diapers, Knuckles doesn't know his lines and can't read, Shadow is extremely paranoid, confused and can somehow understands Rouge's Spanish, Rouge is really a Mexican Fruit Bat who only speaks Spanish, Omega accidentally got rap music downloaded into his hard drive, Amy's into S and M, Cream's PMSing (she's older than you think), Big's high, Espio is secretly apart of MIB, Vector's drunk, Charmy's Sugar High, Eggman's really a Brazilian immigrant with an Irish accent that only speaks German, and Metal Sonic was replaced with a boombox... Just kidding, Metal RP's as Bender of Futurerama. On with the Uncut-ness!

 

OOOOO

 

Team Sonic....

 

Sonic is running through a canyon area that leads to Seaside Hill when suddenly he stops in his tracks. “Was it always so big out here? Am I lost? Oh my God I'm lost! Help me Mommy!” Sonic panics and run in circles. Tails and Knuckles fly by Sonic in the Cyclone upside down and Tails is hanging from the steering wheel. “Weeeeeee!” he says.

“The air is too clean out here! AHHH!”

“Um... Who lives under the pineapple under the sea? SpongeBob Squarepants!” Knuckles sang

 

A talking piece of paper hit Sonic in the face, “Ahhh!” he yelled and took it off. It started talking to him.

 

“Mwhahaha! Erraten Sie welche Sonic Heroes? Ich habe schließlich die allerletzte Waffe entwickelt! In drei Tagen werde ich die Welt

erobern! Denkt, dass Sie mich aufhalten können? Mwhahahahaha!” Eggman says on the paper.

 

“What the fuck?” Team Sonic said. Since Tails is dumber than a sack of dirty diapers he didn't notice that the plane was heading straight for a canyon. The plane crashed and exploded.

 

“It's the end of the world! I knew coming out here was a bad idea!” Sonic said and ran away from the crash, Knuckles and Tails followed.

 

Team Dark....

 

Rouge drops down into the base, she enters in a code and the door opens. “¡Esto debe ser! ¡He encontrado tesoro secreto de Eggman!” she says. She enters in another code to open the capsule containing Shadow, but suddenly rap music blares out of nowhere and Omega appears. “¿Qué el jode? (What the Fuck?)” Rouge says. The capsule opens and Shadow jumps out in a panic, “Who are you!? Where am I? Why's it so dark in here? What's going on?!” he asks nervously.

 

“Must pop a cap in the asses of all Eggman's robots.” Omega says and starts shooting at Shadow. Shadow runs around in circles, “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

He runs into the camera man and knocks himself out.

 

“Son of a bitch.” Producer, Naka Yuji, says.

 

(Take 2)

 

Omega starts shooting at Shadow again and Shadow runs in circles again. Rouge somehow manages to stop the fighting, “¡Alto!” she shouts. Scene fades to where they're talking. “¡Ahora yo lo obtengo... ahora sé lo que esta mierda es todo acerca de! (Now I get it... now I know what this shit is all about!)” Rouge says. She points at Omega, “Usted es meado en Eggman porque él descargó las canciones del golpecito en su maneja duramente y ahora usted suena y actúa como un golpeador. (You're pissed at Eggman because he downloaded rap songs onto your hard drive and now you sound and act like a rapper.)”

 

Rouge points at Shadow who is even more confused and scared as ever. “¿Y usted, usted no puede recordar que mierda le puede? (And you, you can't remember shit can you?)”

 

“¿Soy supuesto tener una memoria? ¡Ah Dios que soy tan confuso!” Shadow says in perfect Spanish.

 

“¿Usted habla español?”

 

“¿Sé español? ¿Cómo venga yo no supe eso? ¿Por qué lo hablo yo en este momento? ¡Ah no yo me olvidé inglés! ¡AHHHHHH! (I know Spanish? How come I didn't know that? Why am I speaking it right now? Oh no I forgot English! AHHHHHH!)”

 

“Speak English you idiots!” Naka yells.

 

“I don't speak English.” Rouge says.

 

“You just did it!”

 

“Um, no I didn't...”

 

Team Rose...

 

Amy is at the dock holding a picture of Sonic. “Oh Sonikku, where are you? I want to tie you up and painfully pleasure you in so many ways.” She says. The picture flies out of her hand, “Oh shit!”

Cream rescues the picture and brings it back, “Dammit, bitch! What did I tell you about holding pictures on windy days?” Cream yells.

“You're right I'm sorry.”

“Stupid bitch.”

The wind then started to blow Cream away. Big uses his fishing pole which is shape like a blunt to save her. Cream and Big look at the picture. Sonic is running off with a box of Midol and a blunt. “Blunty.” Big says.

“Midola.” Cream says.

 

Amy tries to lighten the mood, “Cheer up guys. We'll find your box of Midol, Big's blunt, and Sonikku.”

“Fuck Sonic! I can't go on without my Midol!” Cream starts to cry, “First Motrin and now Midola, who's next!?”

For no reason Big falls off the dock. Cream and Amy run off without notice.

 

Team Chaotix...

 

Espio is in an MIB uniform reading the paper while Vector is sitting on the desk asleep, drunk beyond belief. Suddenly Charmy busts through the door speaking incredibly fast since he's had waaaaay too much sugar. “IT'SHEREIT'SHERE!” he says. He runs into Vector and the package goes flying, knocking Espio in the head. “What the fuck was that for?” Espio asks. “Stop talking so fucking loud!” Vector yells. A walkie-talkie lands in Espio's hands.

 

“Hallo!” it says.

 

“Huh?” Vector says.

 

“Sorry it's in German.” Espio says. He adjusts the dials so it's in English.

 

“I've heard good things about you, and require your detective services! And I can pay handsomely!”

 

Vector and Charmy's eyes turn into dollar signs. “I can buy more booze!”

“ICANBUYMORESUGAR!”

 

They go to the whale island.

 

OOOOO

 

So how was it? R and R and no flames! I'm open for suggestions though!