Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ The Epic ❯ The Random Insanity Machine Saga ( Chapter 1 )

THE EPIC

HAMMER AND SICKLE STUDIOS PRESENTS AN EPIC EDITED BY VOLKOV "INTERACTIVE STORY!!!" STARRING A TON OF RANDOM PEOPLE WRITTEN BY LORD FEAR HAKU SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG GRAND MASTER SHOMA SONICMON THE VIEW2FUL AND VOLKOV WRITTEN ON THE TRIPLE PEEPS FORUM IMAGINED BY LORD FEAR AND EDITED BY GREG "VOLKOV" PARAUBEK

The following is the result of an Interactive Story, started by Lord Fear on the Triple Peeps forum. With permission from all involved, I have undertaken a project to turn it into a fan fiction. I have left the story line alone. I have only edited for grammar, spelling, and to make the style flow better since none of the six of us who wrote this were using the same style. Lord Fear, who started this thread, had the habit of writing each and every word with a capitol in front of it for a while. Though it may have been funny to see Fear's odd grammatical choices, for the sake of making this readable the weirdness has been sacrificed. You can always go to www.triplepeeps.com and look at the story in its natural environment: the forum! Also, some of us placed ourselves in the story. The character is always who they're supposed to be in the show, game, etc. they come from; just controlled by the forum user who shares the same name.

I understand that the story makes little to no sense. Deal with it. It may help if you read all the stories written by the Triple Peeps. Also, don't even ask about the "leaping heated asses" that appear at the end. Judge Neusy, Sonicmon the View2ful, and I are to blame for it. Neusy for creating that particular thread it first appeared in, though I'm sure she had no idea that it would result in "leaping heated asses", Sonicmon for writing it, and me for stupidly pointing out that it was "leaping". You'd have to look in the Triple Peeps forum to get it. Next, the Chapter/ Sagas were artificially created by me to break things up a little. I didn't feel like posting a 200+ page fan fiction. Finally, here's a list of the people who contributed to this! Don't hate them because of this! Some of them have messages for you!

Lord Fear, who started the whole thing and added insanity

Message: As the organizer of the Interactive Story as it was called when we were writing it in the forum, I'd like to say thank you to those who took part and the effort they put in, as well as all the Insanity that was thought of.

This message is from Lord Fear, The Master/Doctor/Lord of Random Insanity

Haku, who got it started…and then disappeared after a while…and is back now!

Message: Always remember, if there's someone under your podium, unzip your fly, don't pull your pants down! That's just stupid!

Shadow the Hedgehog, who added tons of stuff and weirdness

Message: Note to the confused: The Shadow in this story is controlled by Shadow. Don't try understanding...

Grand Master Shoma, one of the Triple Peeps, who helped out massively

CMA, another one of the Triple Peeps. He was terribly confused by this story

Judge Neusy, one of the Triple Peeps for the "Love Poem" forum thread

Sonicmon the View2ful, for writing stuff and for "leaping heated asses"

Message: This is not a test. When you read this thing, you'll most likely end up in a straight jacket. It is not our fault if that happens...well; maybe it WOULD be, but...please enjoy.

And me, Volkov, for pushing "leaping heated asses" and writing down (and editing) this monstrosity

Message: If you don't like this, don't heap all the blame on me! I alone could not have made something so twisted. Something of this caliber requires the work of many people.

And a few last things, I'd like to thank the people who reviewed this when it was up on fanfiction.net. Sadly, I never had a chance to back up your reviews before this story was taken down for…false reasons, but anyways, thanks to those guys for their reviews! You know who you are!

Disclaimer: Any characters not owned by, but not limited to, Sega, Square Enix, Nintendo, Namco, Capcom, Westwood, or any other company were created by us (the forum users) and cannot be used without our express permission. This story is joint property of all the people who wrote anything in it, and the Triple Peeps, who own the forum where this was placed. You steal, you suffer the consequences. You've been warned. Now read and enjoy!

INTERACTIVE STORY!!!

The Random Insanity Machine Saga

[It was a sunny day in the City Plaza thingy. Sonic was at the Naruto cafe, enjoying the peace.]

Sonic: (sitting at a cafe, drinking a cup O' coffee) This coffee tastes like...ninja. Odd.

[Then, Big walks up.]

Big: (Stupid voice) Froggy?

Sonic: (Sighs) Big, get away.

[All the windows shatter in the cafe, and Sephiroth comes in, with Froggy impaled on his sword.]

Sephiroth: Anyone want frog's legs?

[Eerie song stuff commences. Big waddles over to Froggy, impaled on a sword, then get impaled as well.]

Amy: (Gasping) YOU KILLED BIG!!!

[Long pause later...]

Everybody: (Celebrating) YAAAAAAAY!!!

[Meanwhile on the Space Colony ARK…Dr. Eggman, Bowser, Il Palazzo and Sturm

plot to take over the world.]

Eggman: Finally, I'll conquer the world with a plan I used a long time ago.

Bowser: Why bother? It would fail after one minute.

Il Palazzo: He's right you know.

Eggman: Drat, double drat, and triple drat.

Sturm: Let's build a Random Insanity Machine to plunge the world into chaos while we conquer it!

Comic Book Guy: Worst. Plan. Ever.

All Four of Them: Shut up!

[All four of them kill Comic Book Guy and throw him into a black hole.]

Sturm: Eggman, can you build the Machine?

Eggman: (Halfway through building it) Way ahead of you.

[They start doing the "Dr. Evil Laugh". Some time passes, and the Machine has been

successfully built.]

Eggman: Now, let's test the machine. PINK BIG!!!

Pink Big: (Acts fruity, and has a lisp) Yesss, sir?

Eggman: Stand over there! (Points to an "X")

[Pink Big waddles over to it.]

Eggman: Now, TO TEST OUR ULTIMATE WEAPON EVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

[Eggman presses a button. The machine begins shaking violently. Pink Big is currently oblivious to everything.]

Eggman: Right. Uh...

[Eggman takes cover behind a random machine of his. Sturm, Bowser and Il Palazzo take cover as the Random Insanity Machine turns Pink Big into...a white snowman called Mr. Fecking Arse.]

Eggman: It works! It was a success.

[Bowser breaths fire at Mr. Fecking Arse turning him into a puddle of water.]

Sturm: Now that the Machine has been tested, let's try it out on the world.

Il Palazzo: What will happen to the people of Earth?

Eggman: (Who has turned the Machine off and the effects are not reversed) Different things, remember this is a Random Insanity Machine after all.

Sturm: At last the world will be ours.

[They all do the "Dr. Evil Laugh". In the Triple Peeps Forum, that mysteriously looks like a mall foodcourt, the members are lounging.]

Sam: (listening to Walkman, reading a book) Sell out....doo da doo....Ain't that right, Anorexic Amy?

Anorexic Amy: (Coughing, trying to induce vomiting to lose weight) Yes...BLARF!!!

Lord Fear: Why are we here when we have more power than all the people on Earth?

Sam: Uh, well, I, uh, (pokes him on the forehead) your head is pokeable!!! (laughs insanely)

Lord Fear: My head is not pokeable! Hmm…let's go to my Black Tower of Goth. It's very black, plus, it's a tower.

[Lord Fear goes to The Black Tower of Goth.]

Sam: (following Fear) Do you have any anime and music? What's your home entertainment system like? Oh, hell, I'm not gonna get any answers. How are we gonna get there?

Lord Fear: Stop following me!

[Lord Fear enters The Black Tower of Goth throne room which is in the Triple Peeps forum and sits at a screen and watches what is happening in the Sonic World.]

Lord Fear: Since you're here, you might as well get the other forum members…

Sam: (suddenly wearing army fatigues) Sir, yes Sir!!! (dashes into the central area) Hear ye, hear ye!!! Fear wants to talk to us for some reason!!!!

[At the radio tower in Card Captor Sakura, we see Sakura and Syaoran looking out at the city below; suddenly!]

Loud booming voice: Why don't you have CHURROS!?

[The two turn around to see Astaroth about to behead the snack stand man for not giving him a churro.]

Astaroth: It's time to DIE!!

[He gets hit by a Random Insanity Beam.]

Eggman: (in space) Oops! Forgot to turn it off!

Sakura: (Inching nervously) Are you okay?

Astaroth: Ow...Where am I?

Shadow: (wanders in) To hell if I know. I've been wandering around for 8 hours and all I've found is a penny and a few bread crumbs!

Big: (Who is somehow alive {?}, runs past) Bread crumbs!!!

Bomberman: (lands from nowhere) Holy crap! I'm lost! (looks to Shadow and freaks out) AGH!!! PEOPLE WITH HEADS JUST AS HUGE AS MINE!!!

[Bomberman runs away.]

Lord Fear: (appears out of nowhere) Die fat ass!

[Lord Fear throws a fire ball at Big turning him into Fried Cat and disappears as if he was not there.]

Sakura and Shaoran: That was very strange.

Astaroth: (Wacky voice) Help Me…

Sam: (Throws a hand grenade at Astaroth, big explosion follows) HJA!!!!

Sakura: Do you reckon Eggman is doing one of his crazy experiments?

Sharon: Yes, I'm sure.

Eggman: (Out of nowhere) Hello!

Sakura: Eggman what are you... (Eggman disappears)…doing?

Sharon: How did he...

Big: Froggy?

[Lord Fear appears and grabs Big's tail and sends him off to the horizon.]

Lord Fear: Will that fat ass cat ever give up?

[Lord Fear disappears back to where he was before.]

Shadow: (wide eyed) WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! (looking at a newspaper) Traffic holdup for 100 miles? This is robbery! Robbery I say!

[Ahem...moving on...Big, STILL alive, is standing around like the fatass he is. Death (or, to most people, better known as dah GRIM REAPER) walks onto the field.]

Big: Froggy?

Death:...

Big: Is that you, Froggy?

Death:............

Big: How'd you grow so tall?

Death: ... (touches Big)

Big: (instantly dies on contact with Death's punishing finger)

[Riiiiiight...next?]

Eggman: ARGH!!! (shaking machine violently) This machine won't work! I NEED TO MAKE STUFF WEIRD!!!

Il Palazzo: Eggman, just press the power button-

Eggman: (makes shushing noise and stands under the "X") I don't get it! Maybe it's jammed or something!

Shadow: (walks past Il Palazzo and Bowser non-chalantly) Hi.

Bowser: (a bit panicky) DON'T PRESS THE-

Sturm: (in unison with Il Palazzo covers Bowser's mouth) Let's see what happens...

Eggman: Ah! Shadow! Good to see you! Could you watch the controls while I see what's wrong with this thing! Don't worry about the buttons, they don't work!

[Eggman looks directly at the laser end. Shadow looks over the buttons.]

Shadow: I wonder if turning on the power would activate the laser...(shrugs) Well, only one way to find out. (presses button)

Eggman: (noticing the laser is up and running) Ah! Whatever you did, it made it work! Good job Shadow! Now to-

[Eggman gets zapped with the Random Insanity Ray.]

Eggman: (getting zapped) GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARSH!!!

[The Zapping ends...what happens next? Eggman starts doing the "Funky Chicken".]

Eggman: Stop me someone!

Sturm: You said the effects aren't reversible.

Shadow: Who are you?

Sturm: I am Sturm, the leader of the Black Hole Army.

Shadow: Answers that question.

[The laser from the Random Insanity Machine fires at the wall and creates a portal to other dimensions. And out of the portal comes Sigma, leader of the Mavericks (from Mega Man X).]

Sigma: Where am I?

Bowser: Who are you?

Sigma: I am Sigma .

[Eggman stops doing the "Funky Chicken".]

Il Palazzo: Why'd you stop?

Eggman: Luckily, I managed to install a chip so that none of us in this room can be affected.

Sturm: Shadow, Sigma, want to join our quest for World Domination?

Shadow: Yeah. Whatever.

Sigma: I'm in.

Shadow: (goes blank for a second) What possessed me to just join you guys?

Bowser: IT'S BECAUSE I HAVE MIND CONTROL POWERS!

Shadow: Bowser, you don't have psychic powers...

Bowser: Well, damn...

Eggman: Actually, when you weren't looking, I installed chips in our heads so we can be remote controlled by Triple Peeps Forums members! Look! He's controlling us now! (points at Shadow)

Shadow: Damn straight...

Il Palazzo: Wait...If you're...and he...then who...and what...(blanks out)

Sigma: Won't even ask...

Shadow: Now, upon my command, you shall all DANCE TO ENTERTAIN ME! Fail and BURN IN FLAMES!!! (snaps fingers)

[Everyone but Shadow starts dancing uncontrollably.]

Eggman: (tap dancing) I can do the mashed potato! Twist and shout!

Bowser: (break-dancing/spinning on shell) WORD!

Vectorman: Hey! That's my line! Word...

Il Palazzo: (doing some Spanish dance) Ole!

Sigma: (doing {what else?} the robot) Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto!

Sturm: (doing that one dance Russians do) HEY!

Shadow: Heheheh...this rocks...

[From above, a portal opens. Then, who else to drop in but...]

Wario: (falling) aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!! (SMASH!!!) (bluntly) Ow...

[Everyone stops what they are doing.]

Sturm: Who are you?

Wario: I'm-a Wario, I'm-a Mario's evil twin-a.

Il Palazzo: Any evil person is a friend of ours.

Wario: What are we doing-a?

Sigma: Conquering the Earth.

Wario: I'll join, but if we do conquer the world I want the planet's riches.

Eggman: Deal.

Bowser: Wario, remember me?

Wario: Bowser, whazzup?

Bowser: Not much.

[Another portal opens and Dr. Evil and Mini-Me come out of it.]

Bowser: (shakes off sudden wave of all words first letter capitalization curse) AGH!!! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

Wario: Got any-a valuables-a?

Shadow: (hides Chaos Emerald) Er- no...

Dr. Evil: An evil plan was heard by my ears! Thus I have no choice but to join your plan and screw it up completely!

Eggman: Excellent! Then let us prepare!

[Dr. Evil starts laughing his trademark laugh. Everyone else joins in. 8 hours later, in Station Square...]

Sonic: Is it weird that Eggman has disappeared off the face of the Earth?

Tails: Nope.

Lord Fear: (our of nowhere) Eggman is what some friends!

Amy: Who are you?

Lord Fear: I am Lord Nagash Fear, but you can call me Lord Fear, for short.

5 Teenage Girls: Stop right there Nagash!

[The Sailor Scouts appear.]

Lord Fear: You've been following me for the last 30 seconds! Why are you following me?

Sailor Moon: We have nothing better to do.

Sailor Mars: This is pointless.

Lord Fear: Of course it's pointless!

Sailor Venus: Then why are we here?

Lord Fear: Eggman installed chips in your brain, so that people like me and the Triple Peeps Forum Members can cause mayhem, chaos, and my favorite: Random Insanity!

Sailor Mercury: Why?

Lord Fear: Entertainment.

Sailor Jupiter: Why?

Big: Froggy.

Everyone In The Area: DIE!!!

[The Sailor Scouts do their attacks on Big, Lord Fear throws a fire ball at Big, Amy uses her Piko-Piko hammer on Big, Tails uses his tails on Big, Sonic does a spin dash on Big, and Sailor Moon turns Big into moon dust.]

[Lord Fear disappears. Back on the ARK.]

Eggman: Hey, where'd Shadow go?

[Meanwhile, where we once were...]

Lord Fear: Kill Big! Before he lives more!

Sonic: Are you frightened too?

Tails: (slight nod)

Shadow: (poof) TADAAH!!! I WILL NOW MAKE PEOPLE DO STUFF!!! (snaps fingers)

Grim Reaper: (poof) Fool! All we do in hell is play DDR!

Eggman: (slides in, dances to "E.G.G.M.A.N", as someone does DDR)

GIR: (dancing to DDR) Eeeheeee!!!!!!!! (runs in circles, accidentally goes into red-mode, explodes)

Sam: (how'd he get there?!) That was...odd. Off I go. (disappears)

[A random part of the universe…]

Big: I am the king of Froggy World!

Lord Fear: There is no such place! In fact, we're still on Earth!

[Lord Fear turns the light on and the place is actually the Triple Peeps Forum.]

Lord Fear: Bye-bye.

[Lord Fear sends Big into a Black Hole. On the ARK...again.]

Sigma: What are we going to do now?

Eggman: Well, how about...

[Eggman gets cut off as Dr. Wily (Mega Man Series) appears out of a portal.]

Dr. Wily: Looks like some help is in order.

Eggman: Another scientist?

Dr. Wily: Yep. Sure am, the name is Wily, Dr. Albert Wily.

Eggman: I'm Dr. Eggman.

Il Palazzo: I'm Il Palazzo.

Bowser: I'm Bowser.

Wario: I'm-a Wario, got any treasure?

Dr. Wily: No.

Sturm: I am Sturm, leader of the Black Hole Army.

Dr. Wily: Sigma, how goes it destroying X?

Sigma: Not very well.

Dr. Wily: I will enter the picture soon.

Dr. Evil: My name is Dr. Evil, and this is Mini-Me.

Mini-Me: (Waves)

Dr. Wily: What's the plan?

Eggman: I'm planning to connect the Random Insanity Machine into the Eclipse Cannon.

Shadow: I am Shadow, the one and only Ultimate Life Form.

Lord Fear: (appears out of nowhere) I'm Lord Fear and I'm here to tell you Random Things are going on, get the Machine connected up, and I'm out o here! (Disappears)

All in the ARK: Word.

Vectorman: That's my line, word.

Shadow: (bangs head on a conveniently located lamp post)

Eggman: Who keeps doing that?

CATS: (out of nowhere) HOW ARE YOU, GENTLEMEN!!! ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!!! YOU ARE ON THE WAY TO DESTRUCTION!!!

Wario: What-a you-a saying?

CATS: (blabbering on moronically) YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MAKE YOUR TIME!!! HAHAHAHA!!!

Lord Fear: Hey! I'm the only one with a typing problem! We must fight to the death!

CATS: HEY I SAY YOU!!!

Shadow: T.T

Bowser: (gets pegged by a golf ball in the eye) OW!!!

Waluigi: (holding a golf club) Uh...(looking around, points like a gimp at Wario, who's right next to Bowser) HE DID IT!!!

Wario: (picking his nose/comes to realization and nearly jabs into his brain) EH?!

Wario and Waluigi: (in unison) RUN AWAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaay!!!

Bowser: RAH!!! (starts running, gets tired) Screw this! (snaps fingers, Bowser Mobile hovers along, and Bowser makes a death/logic defying leap into it)

[Everyone observes as Bowser attempts to blast Wario and Waluigi- who are now fleeing for their lives- into the 39th century. This goes on...for a while...]

[Back on Earth…]

Sonic: Things have been going on that should not be happening.

[Suddenly, a dog comes running through the middle of the street tearing up a great big lump of concrete.]

Amy: Like that?

Sonic: Yep.

[A group of CATS come running up the street followed by Lord Fear in the Fear Mobile (Egg Mobile From SA2).]

Lord Fear: Death to the CATS!

CATS: LEAVE US ALONE!

Lord Fear: Don't make to the worst thing in existence to you!

CATS: AND THAT IS?

[10 seconds later...the CATS are tied to chairs watching Barney the Dinosaur. Lord Fear goes back into the Triple Peeps Forum. Back on the ARK…]

Eggman: At last the Machine is connected to The Eclipse Cannon.

Shadow: We need the Chaos Emeralds!

Bowser: But then the ARK will crash into the Earth.

Il Palazzo: It's true, it's true.

Sturm: Just put 6 Chaos Emeralds into the Cannon.

Eggman: We don't have them.

[Sigma and Dr. Wily enter with the 6 Chaos Emeralds.]

Bowser: How did you...?

Sigma: It was simple: they were on the floor where the "X" was.

Wily: Let's insert the Emeralds into the Cannon.

Dr. Evil: And Mini-Me can Enter. Can I ineffectively threaten the world leaders?

Eggman: You're the best at it.

[Wario and Waluigi enter.]

Wario & Waluigi: Jewels!

Shadow: Don't touch them.

Wario & Waluigi: Ok.

[Dr. Evil prepares to threaten the world leaders. To the U.N.

Dr. Evil: Greetings, ambassadors of the world. This is a frickin' warning! We have with us, a "randomizer"!

Eggman: Definitely a randomizer!

Il Palazzo: The best of its variety!

Dr. Evil: If you do not give us your planet within 24 hours, we will completely randomize the Earth!

Wario: Wait a minute...I don't need to speak with an Italian accent!

Dr. Wily: You suck!

[Five minutes after Wario pile drives Wily into the concrete, and Sturm gets voted off the ARK, Dr. Evil cuts the transmission short.]

Shadow: Um, next time, fewer people in the room.

Eggman: Got it!

[Meanwhile]

Syaoran: Um, (looking back to see Astaroth following them) why are you following us?

Astaroth: I am Astaroth! I must protect my creators!

Sakura: Hoeee... what good can come of this?

Sturm: (walking by) Give me money, please!

Astaroth: EXTERMINATE! (crushes Sturm with giant battle ax)

Sakura: (anime sweat drop) Well, I guess that can work...Kero's gonna be pissed...and Touya too...

Eggman: Damn straight!

[Meanwhile, upon the space colony where the majority of all this occurs...]

Wario: (dusting hands off from beating Wily's brains out) Serves you right, reject!

Eggman: (somehow there...again?) Ahem...(turns attention back to the U.N. leaders) There is more than the world that we ask for, however!

U.N. Leader #1: What else could you want?

Bowser: (shoves Eggman aside) That's easy! We want- (long dramatic pause) A SHRUBBERRY!!!

[Cue spooky Monty Python sound]

U.N. Leader #2: Pardon?

Eggman: (sits on Bowser, making him a spiky chair) Also, I ask that I find out what's behind Meta Knight's Mask, the Meaning of Life, Sonic Heroes done how I want it to be, and a free trip to Subway! And- (another long pause with zoom in effect) ONE HUNDRED BILLION DOLLARS!!! (Dr. Evil pose)

Shadow: (leaping up and down like a Kindergartner in the background) Hi Maria!

Wario: (not shown, but heard) She's dead!

Shadow: (bawls) WAAAAAAAAH!!!

U.N. Leader #483: Fine! We'll get everythi-

Eggman: WHAT?! Fine! Perhaps you want to know what our Random Insanity Machine is capable of!

U.N. Leader #-6: (Klingon talk)

[Lord Fear appears back on the ARK with Sturm.]

Lord Fear: You will not get rid of Sturm!

Shadow: Why?

Sturm: Well, if it wasn't for me and Eggman, that Machine would not have been built.

Eggman: He's right.

[Lord Fear disappears.]

Sturm: Dr. Evil, the speech!

Dr. Evil: FIRE THE ECLIPSE CANNON THAT IS CONNECTED TO THE RANDOM INSANITY MACHINE!!

[A clip from the "Rocky Horror Picture Show" plays. The clip is the part where they're dancing to the time warp.]

U.N. Leader #7: Is that what will happen?

Il Palazzo: That's something that might happen.

U.N. Leader #1: We have no deal with terrorists like you!

Sigma: We're not terrorists.

Dr. Wily: We just want to conquer things.

Wario & Waluigi: We just want all the world's riches!

Eggman: Let's cut the talk and...

Everyone on the ARK: FIRE THE ECLIPSE CANNON THAT IS CONNECTED TO THE RANDOM INSANITY MACHINE!!

[Long ominous pause.]

Shadow: (breaking the silence) Eh...isn't someone going to fire it?

U.N. Leader #30: (unintelligible)

Eggman: Oh, right...So...where should we test it on? And why's Sturm here?

Sturm: I Like Bacon!!!

Dr. Wily: He's under hypnosis! Kill it!

Wario: (about to pile drive the unlucky veteran) YAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

[5 minutes later...Sturm is tied to the laser end of the Random Insanity Cannon.]

Sturm: Jebus Will Save Me!!!

Eggman: Right, let me kill him already! WE AIM AT THE MOON!!! AGAIN!!! (presses the button)

[The whole ARK shakes and everyone takes cover or braces themselves. A huge firing sequence later...]

Eggman: Now, let's see what happened to Sturm! (puts on monitor)

[Sturm is now under Aeris' personality.]

Sturm: Iiiiiit's a small world aaaaaafterall! Iiiiiiit's a small world aaaaaaafterall!

[Eggman and everyone else look to each other, back to Sturm, and repeat this for a while.]

Eggman: Rrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiight...and the moon?

[The moon is now crawling with tiny robotic monkeys with spooky glowing eyes that stare at you. And the moon is no longer a moon, but a giant robot monkey with GIANT spooky glowing eyes staring at you!!!]

Eggman: (turns attention back to U.N. Leaders) My friends, you don't want your nation full of giddy fangirl-like people and robotic monkeys, do you? And that's only a sample of what we'll do IF YOU DON'T SEND US WHAT WE DEMAND!!! I WANT FREE SUBWAY!!! (presses button and accidentally blasts Haley's Comet, which is now the flying Pringles container yelling "BAAAAAAAAAAH!!!") Damnit, forgot to turn it off again...

[Back on Earth…]

Amy: Look the moon has...has GIANT spooky glowing eyes!

Sonic: Damn that Eggman, he's up to his old tricks again.

Sturm: (Whose back to normal) He has a Random Insanity Machine connected to the Eclipse Cannon.

Tails: And how do you know that?

Sturm: I helped.

[Sturm teleports back to the ARK with a rocket launcher.]

Lord Fear: Is it me or am I being followed?

Rouge: There's a box behind you.

[Lord Fear picks the box up and sees the Sailor Scouts on the floor.]

Lord Fear: Why are you still following me?

Sailor Moon: Because we are.

[Lord Fear gets into the Fear Mobile and stomps off in it, with the Sailor Scouts following him. Back on the ARK…]

Eggman: Sturm, why are you still here?

[Sturm gives Eggman a note: "Sturm must stay on the ARK or the plan will fail. Signed, Triple Peeps Forum Members."]

Dr. Wily: Let's shoot the Earth with the Machine!

Sigma: Might as well.

Lord Fear: For the final time: stop frickin' following me!

[Lord Fear enters with the Sailor Scouts still following him.]

Bowser: What the hell?

Lord Fear: Do you have a free capsule?

[5 seconds later...the Sailor Scouts are in a capsule heading back to Earth. Lord Fear goes back to the Triple Peeps Forum. Mini-Me writes something on a piece of paper.]

Note: That was weird.

Dr. Evil: I know, Mini-Me.

Il Palazzo: Who wants to play a game of Monopoly?

[They play Monopoly.]

Sturm: (now with Shadow's persona) I'm the ULTIMATE Badass!!!

Shadow: Hey, since when did our plans EVER work?

Eggman: Never, that's when. FIRE THE (does "quoting" thing) LASER!!!

Wario: (operating the cannon) Uh...About that...

Eggman: WHAT?!

Wario: If we want some real chaos, we need to wait for the energy core to reach full capacity. Those last few shots wasted it.

Eggman: I hate this plot...

Sturm: ...Maria...

Shadow: (anime vein w/demon eyes) YOU DIE NOW!!!

[Another 5 minutes later...]

Sturm: (tied to an anchor/flying at the sun, speaking in an Australian accent) Hi! I'm Steve Irwin! Join me as I explore the Sun!

[Another portal opens on the ARK and Skeletor comes out.]

Skeletor: I heard about a "Word Domination Scheme". Can I join?

Shadow: Sure thing, Skeletor.

Skeletor: How did you know my name?

Dr. Wily: He didn't.

Sigma: I think he was being rude.

The 3 Doctors: Right!

[Back on Earth…Sturm is putting up "Missing" posters up on walls.]

Lord Fear: (Hiding in a briefcase) Are there any girls wearing weird cloths out there?

Sturm: No.

Lord Fear: Carry this briefcase around.

Sturm: Ok.

[Some Random Place…]

Basil: Austin, Dr. Evil and his new...empire are threatening the World.

Austin (Powers): Where is he?

Basil: In some other dimension, luckily we can get you to this other dimension.

Austin: How?

[As you all guessed: a car]

Austin: Smashing Basil! A Mini!

[Austin goes into the world where all the Chaos is going on. Back on Earth…]

Chaos: ({from Sonic Adventure}water noises)

[Tomoyo's house.]

Sakura: Well, actually, having a creepy golem bodyguard actually isn't that bad...

Tomoyo: I can make him beautiful!!

Astaroth: EXTERMI--

Sakura: NO! Not Tomoyo-chan!

Astaroth: Fine...

[Austin Powers appears in her living room.]

Austin: Smashing!

[Everyone is astounded.]

Astaroth: Exterminate him?

Sakura: Yeah, go for it.

Astaroth: SQUIRM! SCREAM, WORM!!

[You don't wanna know what Asty-chan did to Austin-chan...so...]

Eggman: Hitler is a jerk! Mussolini-(gets hit by tomato) OW!

Tomato-thrower: (crazy nun) Quiet with your naughty words!

Eggman: Crazy, am I?!

Michael Jackson: (appears outta nowhere) Yes. (spins in circle, grabs himself)

Eggman: Go molest some boys!

Michael Jackson: Okay! (drags off Li)

Li: Help meee!!!!!!(dragged out of house)

Eggman: NOT ON MY SHIFT!!!

[Eggman shoots Michael Jackson, setting Li free]

Eggman: Hmm... what about the corpse?

Waluigi: I need some meat! It's time for a Michael Jackson rump roast!

[Just then, a car ran Waluigi over!]

Jay: ({from Jay And Silent Bob} jumps out) Shnooch to the nooch!

Silent Bob: (steps out; waves)

END OF THE RANDOM INSANITY MACHINE SAGA!

{Ed. Note: That's the end of the first Saga. This story will be updated every week or two. Stay posted. And we are in no way responsible if this madness drives you to kill. Well maybe…but I'm innocent…mostly. And away we go!}

Coming Soon: The Soul Calibur and CATS Saga!