Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ The Epic ❯ The Final Fantasy Tactics Advance Volume 2 Saga ( Chapter 8 )

THE EPIC

HAMMER AND SICKLE STUDIOS PRESENTS AN EPIC EDITED BY VOLKOV "INTERACTIVE STORY!!!" STARRING A TON OF RANDOM PEOPLE WRITTEN BY LORD FEAR HAKU SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG GRAND MASTER SHOMA SONICMON THE VIEW2FUL AND VOLKOV WRITTEN ON THE TRIPLE PEEPS FORUM IMAGINED BY LORD FEAR AND EDITED BY GREG "VOLKOV" PARAUBEK

Eight is great! Woo! We've come so far, and we've still got a long way to go. Hmmm…those would be good lyrics for a song…not as good as, say, "Africa" by Toto (from the 80's) but who cares? Read on brave soul! And forgive me for the name of this saga…I'm suffering from anxious waiting for Kill Bill: Volume 2 to come out…

Disclaimer: Any characters not owned by, but not limited to, Sega, Square Enix, Nintendo, Namco, Capcom, Westwood, or any other company were created by us (the forum users) and cannot be used without our express permission. This story is joint property of all the people who wrote anything in it, and the Triple Peeps, who own the forum where this was placed. You steal, you suffer the consequences. You've been warned. Now read and enjoy!

INTERACTIVE STORY!!!

The Final Fantasy Tactics Advance Volume 2 Saga

[Lord Fear, Megatron and Galvatron are walking around some place when they bump into...the Ishtars.]

Lord Fear: Hey! We're on a quest of Random Insanity! Wanna join?

Marik: We might as well…there's nothing else to do…

Ishizu: I'm in.

[New member: Marik. New member: Ishizu.]

Magna Yugi: I'm joining whether you like it or not.

Lord Fear: I was about to ask you…

Manga Yugi: Okay.

[New Member: Manga Yugi.]

Big: Froggy?

[Mission: Kill the fricken' cat. Law: There are no rules. Lord Fear = TechnoSorceror, Megatron = Sniper, Galvatron = Gunman, Marik = Black Mage, Ishizu = Black Mage, Manga Yugi = Monk. To make a long story short, Big was turned to dust…meanwhile at Eggman's battle...decimation everywhere...both sides have fallen...]

Eggman: Thanks a lot, NECRO!!!

Necro: (Dizzy's right wing spirit) Sorry!

Sephiroth: I must be losing my touch! I couldn't fight that off! Where's my moogle!?

Bridget: How was I injured? Oh yes...I was here!

Dizzy: Sorry...

Eggman: No prob! At least, we survived!

Farah: Wrong...

Meredy: Meredy...has no legs...

Max: Yeah...

[Meanwhile, 10 minutes after the recent Lord Fear incident...]

Manga Yugi: (running really fast) IDUNWANNAJOIN!!! IT WAS SOMETHING IN MY BRAAAAAAIN!!!

Marik: (tails Manga Yugi) Wait for meeeee!!!

Ishizu: (beating on Lord Fear; done maiming Lord Fear; runs away) I NEEDED THAAAAaaaaaaaaaat!!!

[Rrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiight...]

Shadow: Sweet! We in da money!

Sonic: But how will we spend it?

Knuckles: I suggest buying cheap useless weapons and items with no significance to our missions!

Tails: CANDY!!!

Amy: (walks in with tons of bags from "The Squaresoft Mall that Never Closes") Hey! They have my dress color and size on- (given a major demonic look by the guys; slightly frightened) -... sale?

Knuckles: You...bitch... (punches Amy)

Shadow: (punches Knuckles) Dammit man! What's wrong with you!?

Knuckles: I want out of this crazy place!!!

Tails: We'll have to find the one thing that is keeping this world existent!

Sonic: But what... or who... is it?

[It's time for...]

Eggman: (sleeping in a tent; mumbles) Eggman...

Il Palazzo: Oh god...he's going to keep us up...

[Farah and Eggman's clans joined together. Under the condition that Eggman can't talk whenever Farah is in the same place as her…]

Siegfried: This is it! (grabs Eggman and hurls him into a river that is nearby; splash) Odd... he didn't wake up...

Bowser: Yeah, he'll do that. As he's getting carried out to sea!!

John the Moogle: Oh crap, KUPO!

Bob: Ach! This...is good material! (starts filming)

Xianghua: You could say that someone tried to kill him!

Reid: Yeah, like Farah!

Farah: Kill Eggman in the what now?

Bowser: He'll awake in twenty minutes...

[In a few seconds, in a PUB not too far from here...]

Dizzy: Think we can find some clues on where to find the others?

Bridget: I'm almost positive we will!

[It just so happens that this PUB just happens to be a rave, playing the Mortal Kombat song "Test Your Might"; laughter begin.]

A Moogle: You wanna' fight, KUPO?

Astaroth: That's them fightin' words!!

A Moogle: Then die!

Astaroth: Shut! Up!

[Asty-chan almost pummels into the Moogle, but Sakura and Syaoran happen to stop him; Bridget and Dizzy step back and leave...]

Shadow: (bashing on Knuckles) Damnit, man! Stop beatin' on muh woman!

Sonic: (punches Shadow) Hey! She's not YOUR woman!

Shadow: (rubbing where he was punched) Jealousy kicking in, blue boy?

Amy: (giddy) I'm being fought over! My dream come true!

Sonic: Amy won't let us hear the end of this!

Shadow: I'd prefer if, oh, I dunno, Knuckles took her instead of us! Or even Tails!!

Amy: (thinking) Ooh, I'm gonna be a slut!

Tails: Amy's thinking dirty again...

Knuckles: Yeah; it's like I feel a woman's orgasmic feelings...

Sonic: (shocked) WHAT...DID YOU JUST SAY!?

Bridget: Hey Sonic!

Knuckles: YOU!!! HOMEWRECKER!!!

[He charges at him, but Dizzy stepped in front of him, and used Cover; you remember that; she took the blow, and Necro happened to counter with Necro's Anger; he grabs a bow and fires energy blasts at Knuckles doing 40000 damage.]

Knuckles: OH GOD! (dies)

Sonic: Is she okay?

Dizzy: Yes. I'll be fine.

Shadow: Let me guess...you guys left Eggman's clan, and you want to join ours?

Bridget: Um, sure!

Knuckles: (struggling to get up) If you are...then at least put on some man clothes...

Amy: There's a shop in the back

Shadow: (looks to Dizzy) Woah! (ponders for a moment, then whispers to Bridget) THAT'S a girl, right?

Bridget: Yyyyyep...

Shadow: (immediately next to Dizzy) YOU ARE THE ONE THAT WILL BE MY WIFE!!!

[5 minutes later...]

Shadow: (maimed in pain by Dizzy) THE HORRIBLE PAIN!!! BUT IT'S A GOOD KIND!!! SOMEONE HEAL ME!!!

[No one's there...]

Shadow: (long pause) Hello? Amy? Dizzy? (longer pause) Eggman? (another long pause) God?

Lord Fear: I will get my revenge!

Megatron: But how, your Lordness?

Ganondorf: With my help.

Ridley: And mine.

Galvatron: This is good.

[New Members: Ganondorf and Ridley. At the (really overused) Random Place!]

Pink Big: I'm dumb.

Big: Froggy?

[At a large merchant store.]

Sonic: Wow...everything is practically on sale!!

Tails: Yeah! Healing items, attack items, materia, armor, and the whatnot...

Knuckles: And the best thing about this is that we can equip the most powerful of armors, and it still looks like we're running wild and free! Well, maybe not for the ladies of our type and humans.

Shadow: Must kill…humans...

[A boy walks up to them.]

Boy: What do you think?

Sonic: Hey buddy, you just can't ask others for random opini--Holy crap, it's Bridget.

Bridget: Duh.

Knuckles: You actually look like a guy! Note that I still hate you for putting on that fa--

[Shop exploded for no reason...]

Necro: Someone looked at Dizzy in a perverted fashion!

Bridget: Sorry...

Sonic: This is gonna be a looooong trip...

[On the ARK…{Ed. Note: How are we on the ARK? We're supposed to be in an alternate universe!}]

Eggman: If our teams join forces we can conquer the world!

Lord Fear: Agreed. I have all seven of the Millennium Items.

Eggman: I have the Soul Calibur.

Sephiroth: I have the Soul Edge.

Il Palazzo: Let's place them into the core of the ARK along with the 7 Chaos Emeralds.

Bowser: Then we'll fire the Random Insanity Machine connected to the ARK's laser cannon!

Sturm: Then we'll cause the biggest and most random insanity yet!

Galvatron: Then the world will be ours!

Megatron: Then the galaxy!

Ridley: Then the universe!

Ganondorf: Then all the other dimensions!

Eggman: And no one will ever know what hit them!

Vectorman: Word.

[Main cannons ready! Random Cannon...FIRE!! A giant beam aims itself at the FF-transformed Earth; demons have started to spawn everywhere.]

Dizzy: No...NO!! (her power starts to overwhelm her, making some more decimation and causing a large energy burst to engulf everything)

Bridget: Dizzy, control your-(gets swallowed by energy)

Sonic: NOOO-(gets swallowed by energy)

Knuckles: I want a nice coffin! Lots of jewels!! (gets swallowed up)

[Etc...]

Eggman: Whoops!

Bowser: Indeed.

Il Palazzo: Indubitably. I'm glad we survived the holocaust we brought upon the world.

Eggman: A little too random, is it?

Il Palazzo: Indeed, it is.

Bowser: At least Mario is gone for good! If that strange energy field doesn't get him, the demons will.

[...]

Eggman: Methinks we have to set things right.

Il Palazzo: Meknows we have to set things right!

Bowser: Mehopes we get a videogame franchise on what we're about to do!

Eggman: Awesome!!

[Two months pass.]

Sonic: Wow...another big game! (kills a demon)

Knuckles: Even though I've said this everyday since that incident, I'm glad we survived being devoured by transvestite boy's girlfriend's crazy onslaught!

Bridget: Enough with that already!

Dizzy: I...could not control myself...

Tails: Wait... (kills a free-loading demon) Where's Amy?

Shadow: She disappeared yesterday...don't know where though...

[They see off in the distance Sakura, Syaoran, and Tomoyo clinging close to...Astaroth.]

Astaroth: (fighting off a swarm) Don't scream! WORMS! (decimates beasties)

Sakura: Fiery!! (uses Fire Card)

[In another place…]

Eggman: WWWWHHHHYYYY!!!?

Marche: What's wrong, Mr. Eggman?

Mewt: Going crazy?

Ritz: Yeah, are you, Mr. Eggman?

Eggman: (vein on forehead) DOCTOR!!! (shoots the three children) Better.

[In the Triple Peeps Forum…]

Lord Fear: Might as well set things back to normal…

[Back on the ARK…]

Computer: 5............4............3............2............1............

[The ARK self destructs, taking the Soul Calibur, the Soul Edge, the 7 Millennium Items, the Chaos Emeralds, and the Random Insanity Machine with it.]

END OF THE FINAL FANTASY TACTICS ADVANCE VOLUME 2

SAGA!

{Ed. Note: Okay…that was odd. Well…I'm off to play some more Unreal Tournament 2004. If you have a PC you owe it to yourself to buy this game. The return of Xan Kriegor alone is worth it. For me at least. More sagas coming soon!}

Coming Soon: FLACKMONKEY!!!-UT2004