Sorcerer Hunters Fan Fiction / Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ RK Adventures in Babysitting: Episode 2: Attack of the Chibis ❯ RK Adventures in Babysitting: Episode 2: Attack of the Chibis ( Chapter 1 )

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RK Adventures in Babysitting: Episode2: Attack of the Chibis

(Rurouni Kenshin and Sorcerer Hunters crossover)

The day had started out as usual, with Kenshin washing the laundry while Yahiko and Kaoru trained inside the dojo. Dr. Gensai's grandchildren, Ayame and Suzume were playing outside, chasing bubbles from the washing water. But the weather was hot, and the small children were starting to wear down. Just as Kenshin was hanging the last of the laundry, the two little girls ran up to him, begging that he entertain them in the shade of the dojo.

Kenshin smiled at the little girls. “I would love to play with you, that I most certainly would,” he said, scooting them into the shade, and sitting down with them. “But what do you want to do?”

“Tell us a story!” Ayame cried.

“Ya, story!” Suzume repeated.

Kenshin sent them a startled look. “But I don't know many stories,” he said slowly.

“Awwww, please Uncle Kenny,” they whined, looking up at him with their big eyes.

Kenshin sighed, as usual unable to turn them down. “Alright. I may have one.”

“Yay!”

The rurouni smiled and began his tale…

Once upon a time, there was another world called Spooner. In this world, there were only two classes. There were the Sorcerers who had all of the power, and the Parsoners who had no powers at all. It was kind of like the samurai and ordinary classes before Meiji, only worse, because these people had magic. So the Parsoners wouldn't be completely ruled by the Sorcerers, a powerful being called Big Mamma, and her child, Daughter would send an elite group with special powers of their own to protect the Parsoners. This group was called the Sorcerer Hunters.

One day, Big Mamma sent the Sorcerer Hunters away to another world. They were sent to Japan, because she sensed evil magic and great suffering (Author's note: See our "Adventures in Babysitting: Rurouni Kenshin Style" for complete description). Not to mention the fact that she was very angry with them. You see, after extended exposure to Carrot, one of the Sorcerer Hunters… Daughter now needed to be given a special test… and possibly consider changingher name.

The Sorcerer Hunters knew better than to argue with Big Mamma, so the willingly were sent to Kyoto. By an accident, Gateau was separated, and wound up in Tokyo… but we'll get there later.

Carrot, his brother, Marron, and the two sisters Chocolat-dono and Tira-dono were dropped right on Hiko Seijuro's doorstep, where Kenshin-gumi had been visiting. In fact, the Sorcerer Hunters appeared right as Shishou was beating me during a sparring match. Hiko began yelling at me for failing at blocking his move, and finally was fed up, claiming he was going to take a new apprentice. Since Carrot was the first person he actually laid eyes on, that was the person who got to be Hiko's new apprentice. Honestly, I felt a little bad for Carrot.

Since we all knew how bad training could be with Hiko, the rest of us decided to take off and leave him. Megumi-dono, Kaoru-dono, Chocolat-dono and Tira-dono went back to the Ao-iya together. Marron and I went off to find Aoshi at the temple, and see if he would have tea with us.

At first, Shishou thought he'd found the idea apprentice. Carrot was keenly interested in drinking sake whenever possible, and he was certainly interested in the girls. But it didn't take Hiko long to grow frustrated with his new apprentice. First of all, Carrot carried a Western style sword, and when he'd bother pulling it out, all he ever really did with it was swing it around in wild circles while yelping at Hiko. Within an hour, Shishou was actually so sick of Carrot that he wanted me back, which I'd been a little afraid of.

You see, Marron and I had found Aoshi at the temple, and were now enjoying tea and foot massages provided by Aoshi. Everything was so pleasant and peaceful that it suddenly occurred to me that I didn't really want to go back to being Hiko's baka deshi. After our third cup of tea, Marron began worrying about his brother, for some reason constantly asking what this Seijuro Hiko was capable of. I tried to explain to him that Shishou could do just about anything, even going so far as to express a little sympathy for Marron's brother. This didn't really lift his spirits any, and he began asking if Shishou could do magic.

I pointed out that Hiten Mitsurugi sometimes came off as looking like magic, but in all reality, even Hiko wasn't that skilled. The only real magic I had ever seen myself was some Feng Shui magic… especially that scary water dragon that had been dipping in and out of the rivers while I'd had to hunt it down… but that certainly wasn't something that Hiko had ever dealt with. But Marron kept worrying and finally convinced Aoshi and I return to Hiko's mountain with him just to check up on them.

We arrived just in time to see Hiko get especially irritated with Carrot's behavior and beat him hard with his sheath, sending Carrot flying into the river and over the waterfall. Much to my surprise, Marron, a generally calm, emotionless man suddenly seemed to lose his mind. He began yelling things at Hiko, the most obvious being, “You hurt my brother!” He moved to fight Hiko. I tried to stop Marron, not wanting the poor man to be injured, but clearly I didn't have to bother. Marron may not have looked like a fighter, but he was powerful.

It turned out that although Marron was not a Sorcerer, he was a reincarnate, and able to do Spooner Eastern magic, which he was currently using on Hiko. Now, as I'd said before… Hiko Seijuro is capable of doing almost anything, but even he has a difficult time against magic. As soon as he realized that Hiten Mitsurugi didn't do much against Marron's magic. In fact, Hiko's sword really didn't do much against an angry Marron, so Shishou resorted to the next logical step. He began yelling colorful phrases at Marron while throwing pottery at him. This didn't really help the situation, but I have to admit, it was really entertaining watching Shishou throw pottery at someone other than myself.

It didn't take long before Marron got a really solid hit in on Hiko, followed by several blasts of magic. Within moments, Hiko lay on the ground unconscious and swirly eyed.

I don't know what got into me. How many times I'd pictured myself doing the very same thing to Hiko while we were training… but still… it didn't seem like Marron had a right to do that to my shishou, and without even seeing it coming, I went Battousai, shouting at Marron, “You hurt my shishou!”

We began fighting, and to even my surprise, it turned out when I was in my Battousai state of mind, I was able to evenly match Marron's skill. (I'm still not sure how that is possible, since in that state of mind, I can't even get a decent hit in on Hiko…) We began to fight in earnest.

Meanwhile, at the Ao-iya, Megumi-dono, Kaoru-dono, Chocolat-dono and Tira-dono were all hanging out. Frighteningly, Chocolat-dono, a rather… open young lady had bonded with Megumi-dono. Tira-dono and Kaoru-dono were actually getting a bit frightened of the two. Especially when the older two began sharing personal secrets and tips to each other. Tira-dono and Kaoru-dono probably would have slipped out and hid, if they hadn't suddenly heard noise in the distance from Marron and my battle. The bonding was momentarily ended, so the girls could go and investigate.

In Tokyo, as I had said before, the final member of the Sorcerer Hunters, a very muscular blonde man by the name of Gateau had been dumped right on the doorsteps of the Kamiya dojo which Sanosuke was supposed to be watching. After only a few minutes of discussion, Gateau managed to introduce himself and convince Sano to ditch the dojo and go gambling with him.

Sano, as usual, was losing horribly, but Gateau seemed to be a gambling genius. A couple times Sano had considered borrowing money from the muscle-bound Sorcerer Hunter, until he noticed Gateau's victory dance. Every time he did well, he'd strike a pose, announcing, “Look at me!” while twitching his pecs. He claimed that posing in odd ways, while twitching his muscles helped him make dice predictions. He would then waggle his eyebrows at Sano.

Not surprisingly, each time he did this, Sano scooted a little further away from him. Especially when one of his friends pointed out that Gateau seemed… interested in Sano. At that Sano seriously considered visiting Katsu for some bombs. Preferably the high-powered kind that Katsu had given him to fight Shishio. Sano had a feeling that this Gateau guy may be as tough to get rid of as the ex-hitokiri, Shishio.

Back in Kyoto, at the bottom of Hiko's waterfall, Saito was around, tracking Battousai. As he was walking at the riverbank, he came across a small, squishing thing with horns and fur. He poked at it with his sword tip a few times until it woke up. Apparently the river still contained the chibi magic from my last encounter with Hiko. Worse, it turns out that Carrot transforms into a horrible demon monster when confronted with attacking magic, which this essentially was. Of course, the combination of horrible demon monster and chibi magic wound up turning carrot into a horrible furry creature that was only about two feet tall.

Chibi monster Carrot, not being in the state to figure such things out, attacked Saito, roaring in its little, squeaky chibi voice.

Not surprisingly, Saito didn't like being attacked by the little wet thing, so after swearing at it a few times, he bonked it on the head with the hilt of his katana, knocking Chibi monster Carrot out. It was only then that he heard the sounds of fighting at the top of the waterfall and realized that somehow I must be behind the little monster. (How Saito thought that was a logical conclusion is beyond me.)

Anyway, Saito decided to go to the source of the fighting, carrying the furry thing with him by the tail. After struggling up the mountain with an unconscious chibi monster in tow, he finally made it to the top to see a rather psychotic Marron facing off with me in my Battousai mindset, equally matched.

At the same moment, Tira-dono, Chocolat-dono, Megumi-dono and Kaoru-dono appeared and took in the scene.

To Saito's annoyance, it was right then that Carrot woke up and decided to bite the ex-Shinsengumi leader.

As if this situation weren't already horrifying enough, Tira-dono and Chocolat-dono suddenly spotted Carrot and did a little transformation, turning from the slightly violent and perverted girls that they had been into full-fledged dominatrixes. Worse, Megumi-dono suddenly transformed as well. And there is something about Megumi-dono with a whip that is very frightening, that there most certainly is.

Needless to say, Kaoru-dono couldn't take this new development, and wound up passing out from the shock, as, surprisingly, did Tira-dono. Things had gotten so strange at this point that Marron and I finally stopped our battle just to stare, giving us enough time to snap out of our rather violent mindsets. “I watched Megumi-dono crack the whip a couple of times, thinking to myself, “I knew there was a reason I was always a little scared of her…”

Megumi-dono and Chocolat-dono began doing their thing, cracking their whips and taming the very frightened chibi monster Carrot, much to the dismay of Saito who had wanted to kill the little furry thing himself, and as he was still holding Carrot, was currently being hit by Megumi-dono's whips (supposedly by accident… although Megumi-dono was laughing quite a bit about it… “OHOHOHOHOHOHO!”) Saito finally gave up, throwing the furry thing at them and letting them have their fun.

Marron and I stared at each other, deciding that continuing this fight really wasn't worth it, even as Saito started yelling at Marron for doing his job, fighting Battousai.

Marron just looked confused, asking, “Who's Battousai?”

Amidst the confusion, chibi Carrot finally went human. Sitting up, he looked around in confusion, his eyes finally resting on Megumi-dono. “Who's is that?” he whispered, looking very frightened at the new dominatrix. He probably would have been more frightened if he hadn't at that moment, while Tira-dono and Kaoru-dono were awakening and standing up, realized that hi was approximately one and a half feet tall and could see under Megumi-dono's miniskirt. “Cool!” chibi Carrot yelled, running around, looking under all skirts, even as the girls transform back into their normal forms.

He finally made the mistake of looking under Kaoru-dono's kimono, and was hit on the head with her bokken and two sledgehammers from Chocolat-dono and Tira-dono. “Pervert!” all three girls yelled.

Megumi-dono just laughed, fox ears popping out of her head momentarily.

As the chaos began to die down, Aoshi surveyed the situation, and shook his head, deciding to seek out saner company. Perhaps Misao-dono would be home…

Meanwhile, Marron was eyeing the semi-conscious, swirly eyed, “oro-ing” chibi Carrot, asking me if there is a cure. I couldn't help but look at my unconscious shishou, remembering the chibi Hiko incident and wincing. “It will eventually wear off, that it will,” I told him. “You have my sympathy, that you most certainly do. Just wait until all of the water has dried off of him.”

At that, Marron realized the cause of this situation: the waterfall still had some weird Feng Shui magic in it from the water dragon incident. Being that the Sorcerer Hunters had come specifically to get rid of such horrifying magic as chibifying waterfalls, Marron began using his Eastern magic again, sealing off the Feng Shui magic from the waterfall, and saving us from any new chibi threats. Unfortunately, we were still going to have to wait for chibi Carrot to dry off before he'd be back to his—er—normal self…

Saito began challenging me right then and there for a rematch before any other psychos could come and try to kill me. I think I even heard Saito mutter something under his breath that sounded like, “Honestly, where does he meet these weirdos?”

After refusing Saito yet again, Marron and I assessed the situation and really started realizing how potentially psychologically damaging this situation was, so we ran off to drink tea alone at the Shirabeko. Halfway back to the Ao-iya, we ran into Sano (who had apparently been running at near warp speed all the way from Tokyo). Sano was throwing bombs behind him to get rid of Gateau who was chasing him. Out of sympathy, Marron and I invited Sano to join us at the Shirabeko.

In the end, after regaining consciousness and denying that he'd really been knocked out, Hiko billed the Sorcerer Hunters for the sake Carrot had consumed and the broken pottery. The Sorcerer Hunters were allowed to stay at the Ao-iya until they heard from Big Mamma. Even Gateau was allowed to stay, on the agreement that he would leave Sanosuke alone.

Big Mamma finally called the Sorcerer Hunters back, as soon as Daughter had definitely come up in the clear a few hours later. There was a tearful goodbye between Chocolat-dono and Megumi-dono, as well as a sympathetic goodbye between myself and Marron. Everyone else just seemed to be relieved as Tira dragged the tied-up chibi Carrot out of the inn.

We thought it was all over when the ground suddenly shook and Yahiko, who had been missing all day, was suddenly thrown from the sky. And I'd have sword I saw a winged girl who must have been Daughter appear and shout, “But Big Mamma! We didn't do anything…!”

Carrot muttered, “Lucky dog,” at Yahiko just before Tira-dono and Chocolat-dono gagged him.

The Sorcerer Hunters took this as a cue and left for good. And Kenshin-gumi all lived happily ever after. The end.

Kenshin smiled down at the two little girls who were staring up at him, wide-eyed, mouths partially open. Kaoru and Yahiko came out of the dojo just then after a nice practice.

“And what have you three been up to?” Kaoru asked brightly.

“What's a dominatrix?” Ayame asked, innocently.

“Ya,” Suzume added. “What's dom'na'trik?”

Fire seemed to shoot from Kaoru's eyes just then. “Kenshin!” she roared. “You told them about the Sorcerer Hunters!”

Kenshin's eyes widened. “Oro? But Kaoru-dono… it's the only story I know! Would you rather I had told them about Bakumatsu?”

Kaoru cracked Kenshin over the head with her Bokken, shrieking, “Yes! Even Bakumatsu had to have been better than that!”

Ayame's eyes widened. “You mean the story was true?”

“Of course not,” Yahiko muttered, quickly walking back into the dojo, and refusing to make eye contact with anyone.

Epilogue:

Hiko sits in front of his kiln, contemplating his last two attempts at finding a successor. He finally realizes that Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu is going to die with him.

Contemplates seppuku.

THE END