Sorcerer Hunters Fan Fiction ❯ An Untitled Glacecest Scene... ❯ Chapter 1

The last afternoon sun was beautiful, but unremarkable. Twigs scattered on the ground made it look untidy, tall nettles made it look unkempt. The wind shook the broad leaves slightly, making them look as if they were trembling... the occasional stronger wind shook them, and they fell around, uncontrollable wind controlling the plants.

A lattice of trees was netted by a blanket of ivy. Pale white dead plants were laced against the ivy, looking like fragile whips against the greenery. The fronts of the trees looked green, but cold and uninviting. The front let off an unhealthy air from that, from the mess and the mixture of dead and live plants. Through gaps in the bush wall, sunlight streamed. Sunlight lit the backs of visible trees, a beautiful soft yellow-orange, bathing all in reach in this god-given light. The plants and ivy touched by this sunlight didn't look unhealthy and sickening- they were radiantly, passionately green, healthy and alive.

Healthy. Beautiful. Alive. Beautiful.

Beautiful.

The word echoed, syllable by syllable, through Marron's mind. He was beautiful, apparently. Gateau thought so, anyway.

The sunlight was beautiful. Its warmth and beauty, so forgiving, so warm, requested by no-one but treasured by many... it gave its warmth and love unquestioningly. It sickened Marron, so he didn't look at it anymore. He moved his gaze, looking at the tops of the trees, framed by the blue sky. This was better. Due to the onset of winter, the tops of the trees were bare and leafless.

Marron smiled wryly, building up an image in his mind with words, feeding his heart with the visual poetry in front of him, tragic and picturesque, like a funeral.

The naked treebranches spread into the sky like bony fingers. Branch split to branches split to twigs, a thousand thin delicate spears, a thousand thin bare naked bones, devoid of skin, devoid of life. Birds perched on the thicker branches, trilling softly. They looked as out of place as they sounded... life looked lonely amongst those apocalyptic spears. Spears that could shatter and break and leave nothing. Marron appreciated their messy unorganised morbid crisscross... they looked, somewhat, how he felt. Forbidden feelings stabbed through him, crossing their way over his heart, wrapping it in wire, that certain person ready to pull. Marron wondered if the wire'd been pulled yet... he was still alive, so he supposed that it hadn't. But he could feel each wire - each feeling, he felt them, wondered how much worse it'd feel to have those wires pulled taught... Marron reached out and snapped some nearby twigs with a flick of his wrist. One small movement, just like that, and those wires would be pulled tight. And Marron would die, victim of his own introspective mindscape.

The air smelt fresh, and should he have been sat in it, the sunlight would probably have been warm. He didn't want to be warm, though. He wanted night to come, he wanted the world to be dark to match his world of darkness, he wanted- needed- the pitch black of night, so no-one would see his tears. Already the white-blue of the sky and clouds was giving way to the subtle marbleization of sunset, the sky falling a cold blue where the sun didn't touch, cold blue before dark. Dark blue that might as well have been black. Darkness. The darkness in Marron's heart, in his soul, in his mind, in his voice, in his tears.

And then Carrot appeared.

Like the birds that sat by blood-red deathbringing berries, Carrot seemed out of place in the glade. His voice with its usual happy air, it might have made Marron wince, had the voice not belonged to Carrot.

Thinking of that name stabbed Marron's heart, seeing him and hearing that voice moreso.

"Yo, otouto!! You left suddenly."

Marron raised his head with an air of subtle deliberance. His words spoke of emotion not felt in his voice.

"Oh... I worried you?"

Carrot grinned, taking place down next to where Marron was sat, scaring a few tiny songbirds into flight.

"A little. Normally ya tell people where you're going if you're gonna go off somewhere, ya know? If you'd ended up in danger, we wouldn't have known where to find you!"

Marron just stared blankly ahead. "We?"

Carrot nodded. "Yeah, me and Tira and Chocolat n' Gateau. What's wrong? You seem all distant..."

Marron closed his eyes, "Maybe that's because that's how I feel. Hadn't the concept occurred to you that, perhaps, sometimes people want time alone?"

Carrot seemed to realise that he might have disturbed something. He started to make as if to go, standing up, "If you're musing on some magic thing, you shoulda told me-" from his lips before Marron reached up and grabbed the edge of Carrot's tanktop, stopping him from leaving. Carrot turned, a questioning look on his face. Marron was facing downwards, as if still introspective. His hand was the only changed part of him.

"Uh?"

"Sometimes I want to be alone... but I don't mind you being here. I don't want to be disturbed, but... you don't disturb me..."

His voice dropped to a quiet whisper, "... I can be alone with my niisan."

Marron let his hand drop. He looked up at Carrot, a strange look in his eyes. Like an empty sadness... Carrot frowned a little, not understanding the look. Marron gently patted the ground next to him, "Sit with me."... silently, Carrot complied.

"Ne, Marron... are you feeling okay? You're kinda... depressed?"

Carrot ended on a question, not entirely sure if 'depressed' was enough to express what he thought Marron was feeling.

"Depressed, niisan?"

Said with little emotion. He spoke evenly, this was more of a statement than a question.

"Yeah, all kinda sad and stuff."

Marron chuckled, something that creeped Carrot a little. The glade seemed halfway to death, foreboding and dark... Marron was being moody and introspective, and then... a laugh, that laugh. Marron had genuinely found something amusing in what Carrot had said, and the fact that he didn't have the faintest idea what worried Carrot a little.

Carrot scowled, "Hey, what's funny?"

Marron's laugh ended quietly. He turned to face Carrot directly, a grim smile on his face.

"Depressed... doesn't even start to cover what I'm feeling. Mere depression would be too simple... but niisan can't understand. No-one really can, you least of all."

"Damn, Marron! Stop talking in riddles!! Just tell me what's wrong, and I'll try to help. It's not like you to keep secrets from me!!"

The greatest secret of all, Marron thought with dry amusement, was that it was like him to keep secrets. Some secrets. That secret. The secret itself was the secret. But if Carrot didn't know Marron as well as he liked to think, then that was his problem.

Marron sighed, a sigh with more emotion than previous utterances or movements.

"Niisan, I CAN'T tell you."

"You sound like you want to."

Marron blinked.

Carrot had a point.

To a point, yes, Marron wanted to tell Carrot. But what was there to tell him? He could hardly figure out his emotions himself, who knows what Carrot would have made of them...

Would that make sense to Carrot? Explaining his confusion in ambiguous terms seemed an easier option than trying to explain his feelings, and it was more comfortable than that expectant silence.

"Niisan... I would tell you if I knew myself, if I could put the emotions inside me into words... but I can't. Thoughts and feelings fly around inside me, but they catch in my throat... they're dead before I can even speak them."

Carrot wrapped his arm around Marron's shoulders in a protective hug. Marron's heart quickened and his body stiffened - he felt his brother's arm, but layers of robe separated them... that tantalizing, familiar warm touch... so near, yet so far...

Marron seemed to retreat further into himself as Carrot spoke.

"Heyy, otouto... that's just teenage angst, y'know?"

A squeeze. Marron attempted not to blush. He wasn't sure whether he'd succeeded or not.

Carrot seemed to mistake Marron's reaction for another.

"Try to talk to me about it. if you tried, it might make you feel better..."

Much as it hurt Marron to take himself from his brother's embrace, his mind and his body were at odds on how to react. His body wanted to launch itself into Carrot's embrace, feel their bodies share that warmth, and his mind wasn't much better... 'pass it off as teenage angst and he might touch you more, Marron' was what his mind said. If Marron blushed at his brother's arm around his shoulders, how might he react at other touches? Other.. embraces?

Marron's mind and body simultaneously decided to chicken out. Standing up suddenly, he walked awkwardly over to the other side of the glade.

He looked out through a gap in the bushes. He sighed.

"The sun's too warm."

Carrot didn't understand. He walked over to Marron, and stood behind him.

"Marron... what?"

"The sun's too warm. I'd rather it was cold, and I'd rather it was night."

"Oh..."

Marron closed his eyes, one hand wrapped around a slim treebranch. He trembled silently, shaking, shivering, confused.

His brother was standing behind him, and he knew that something was wrong.

Marron mentally kicked himself. Carrot had never really picked up on Marron's angst, but Marron had never really encouraged him either...

He sighed, turning around.

"Niisan, there IS something wrong. But I can't really say... part of me can't say, and part of me won't say. I'm... I'm scared, niisan."

"Scared?" Carrot noted that Marron seemed to be warming up to him a little. "What's scaring you?"

Marron just shook his head, mumbling a barely-audible "can't say".

"I guess I can't make you talk to me..." Carrot was going to try, though.

"... is it something a Sorcerer did? Something got to you? That Sorcerer Count Pervert who chained young guys up and tortured 'em to death? That weird chick who drank blood?"

Carrot was on a roll. He only stopped after "Is it that ghost chick?" when Marron suddenly chimed in with "You can't understand, you've never fallen in love with the wrong person!!!"

An untimely coincidence.

The glade was silent, brothers staring at each other.

Marron was frozen, knowing he'd said the right thing at the wrong time.

Carrot was frozen, mistaken into thinking he'd uncovered the truth.

"Marron... you're in love? With that ghost girl? Damn... I mean, I guess my shy little brother's gotta fall in love at some point, but that's harsh!! She's gone now, you can't get her back... she WAS cute though. What was her name... Cork?"

Marron shook his head, "Niisan's only half right."

"Colk? Cora? Aork?"

"No, I mean..."

Marron froze, unable to say what he meant.

Carrot spoke softly, "Is it to do with the ghost girl?"

Marron shook his head.

"Is it to do with love?"

A pause.

Marron nodded slightly. He spoke the word 'yes', but no sound came out.

Carrot was touched by Marron's emotion, but still mystified.

Marron repeated his earlier statement, or a variant thereof.

"You can't understand, niisan... you've not fallen in love with the wrong person."

"And you have?"

"I can't stop thinking about... that person."

Marron spoke slowly, more as if he felt that this had to be said as opposed to him wanting it said.

"... I wake up to thoughts of that person. Sleep to the same. H-they run through my dreams... I dream the most terrible dreams, niisan. The dreams I control..." he smiled sadly, "... are the worst. Hot, passionate, forbidden trysts under the stars... seeing that person's real self destroys me each day, whenever I see them I die inside, the most beautiful scene is rendered dull when they're around... niisan, it's torture. I can't feel happy anymore. I love that person too much..." Marron shook with a powerful repressed cry, "... I'm dead inside."

"You... don't mean that. If you were dead inside, you... you wouldn't be crying right now."

Carrot felt sad himself, seeing his brother so taken like that. He didn't know who it was his brother was talking about, but whoever this person was, Marron had fallen hook, like and sinker for them.

Carrot's gut reaction was 'damn, that person's lucky. Marron's obsessed', which was followed by the most important thing of all; discovering just who it was that Marron was obsessed with.

"So... you're in love."

"If love is this pain, then I suppose I am."

Marron's doom-and-gloom attitude was biting at Carrot a little, he sighed as he spoke.

"Marron, you talk like that, but... does the person know you like them? Have you ever spoken to them about this kinda thing? Have you spoken to them at all?"

"It's someone you know well, niisan. I've... not really spoken of this to anyone, but... I've spoken to them before."

"It's one of the girls, isn't it?"

Despite himself, Marron was surprised. He frowned, confused. "Girls?"

"Chocolat or Tira. I guess it's kinda natural, I mean, we've all been together for such a long time... Chocolat's self-assured and confident, and Tira's got that quiet innocent sweetness thing going on when she's not whipping me half to death with that whip of hers... whichever one it is, you're welcome to try, but I don't know-"

"It's not one of the girls."

"Dota?"

"... It's not Dota."

Marron turned around again, leaning both elbows against the gap in the trees. The sun was warm on his face, a contrast between the icy cold he felt on his back. His mind was racing; his brother was precariously close to finding out... it'd all started off so innocently, but Marron just had to keep making references... he closed his eyes, hurting inside. Why couldn't he have kept quiet? Keeping quiet would be another day, another month of Carrot not knowing, of Carrot running off and randomly flirting with other girls... but it was still another day and another month of life going on as per usual. Marron wasn't sure how Carrot would react if he found out, and that was what Marron was afraid of. Afraid of losing his brother in the worst possible way...

When Carrot next spoke, he sounded as if he was resigned to fate. And a little disgusted at the same time.

"It's Gateau, isn't it?"

"Niisan?"

"Well, if it's not Tira or Chocolat, then it's gotta be Gateau, hasn't it? Jeez, if it's him, I don't know what you're worried about. It's obvious enough he likes you enough, you'd just have to give the word and he'd jump into bed with you... just don't feel the need to tell me all about it, okay? If you're gay then I guess I can't really help that, and if being with Gateau makes you happy, then I guess I can't help that either. Just don't try and make me pretend to be happy with you guys being together like that, because, well, I can't. Gay guys just don't do it for me. I'd just tolerate it 'cause you're my brother."

Marron felt as if Carrot had randomly punched him in the stomach. He knew that Carrot was only stating his opinion, and he was only stating the opinion on speculation, but while he'd heard his brother yell and rant and scream (mainly when drunk) about that kind of thing, he'd never laid it out like that.

Marron said nothing for a long time, and Carrot felt a little regret.

"Hey, Marron? Did I sound too harsh? I'm sorry, it's just... I dunno, it's something I'd have to get used to, I guess." Carrot laughed a hopeful laugh, trying to get Marron to smile or speak or do anything, just so he wasn't so quiet, "... It's not like you're asking me to jump into bed with you, or Gateau, or the both of you, is it? I should just back off. If you wanna do that sorta thing with him, go ahead."

Marron just stared blankly ahead.

"... It's not like you're asking me to jump into bed with you, or Gateau, or the both of you, is it?..."

Marron could almost hear his midnight fantasies crashing down around him. He could almost physically feel them... or was that the tug of his brother on the wires around his heart? Through a haze, Marron felt like he was living some kind of nightmare. Not the big evil oh look there's a big bad monster come to eat me kind of nightmare, but... he just didn't want something like this to be happening. Maybe his brother would change his mind if he knew it wasn't Gateau that Marron liked... if Carrot knew that it was he himself that his brother pined for... would that change his mind? Might it change his mind? Marron felt something inside him falling down inside itself as thoughts, dreams and scenarios quickly played themselves out through his mind. If he said this, then Carrot had to realise! If he did that, then Carrot wouldn't mind... and of course, if he did that and said this, then it'd all turn out fine and he wouldn't have to worry anymore...

As much as anyone, Marron knew that as much as he liked to dream, he couldn't help reality. Whatever he said or however his brother reacted, he couldn't control his brother, and so he threw his dreams to the fates and hoped for the best.

"The person I love is forbidden to me..."

"Well, Gateau IS a guy, but there's still no need-"

"... forbidden to me through gender and through relation."

Carrot's eye twitched, about to frown, but wanting to keep a straight face. He walked so he was stood next to Marron, then pushed some of the bushes out of the way, last sunlight rays hitting his face too.

"The sun's warm. Gender and relation? 'Cause Gateau's a friend? Hey, as I said, all you'd have to do with him is smile at him and he'd be wagging his tail. I wouldn't worry about that."

"... It's not Gateau."

Carrot turned to look at his brother's profile.

Marron was just staring ahead and downwards a little. His hair was tucked back behind his ears, and Carrot was sure he could see the threatening shimmer of unshed tears in his brother's eyes.

Still, he was confused.

Marron wondered if Carrot'd figured it out yet. He'd literally said what he felt, all he needed to do now was lay it out in simple terms for Carrot to understand... if he needed that, of course. Had Carrot already worked it out yet? Someone they knew well. Someone who wasn't Tira, Chocolat, or Gateau. Asides from Big Mama, Dota and the rest, who else would it be?

Marron turned, looking Carrot in the eye, speaking with meaning.

"It's... not... Gateau..."

Carrot looked like he didn't know what face to have. Confusion reigned.

"Well... I mean... it's not a girl, is it?"

Marron spoke, trying to keep himself calm.

"No, niisan, it's not a girl."

"And it's not Gateau..."

"It's not."

Carrot paused for a moment, deep in thought. Who else was there?

"Oh, um... is it that... Mille Feuille? I mean... it's not like we see him SO often, but I gotta admit, for a guy, he's pretty. For a guy. I don't like him like that, I mean, I liked him until I found out he was a him... as a girl he'd be brilliant, but it's just the fact that he's not that's just freaky. I mean, c'mon... but hey, if that's what turns you on. He IS quite gorgeous. From your point of view. I guess. Kinda. I suppose. Like, um.... yeah."

Carrot trailed off, not sure what to say. As he'd spoken, Marron's expression had melted into a kind of hopeless longing, like Carrot was missing the point by miles while standing right next to it.

He hazarded a guess.

"Is it Mille?"

Marron just shook his head.

"Niisan... j-just think about it..."

Carrot turned around, leaning against the nearest tree. His arms were folded, and he was thinking, putting the jigsaw puzzle pieces together.

"There's someone you love. And it's not Tira, Chocolat or Dota. It's not a girl at all. It's a guy. It's not Gateau, and it's not Mille... it's not yourself, you'd haveta be weird to fall into obsession with yourself, and it wouldn't be me..."

Marron felt the need to interject before Carrot went off on any other tangents.

"And why wouldn't it be you?"

The sharpness in Marron's voice surprised Carrot more than the words themselves actually did. Carrot was somewhere between reassurance - though for himself or for Marron he wasn't sure - and fear. Uncertainty was there too.

"H-hey, come on... why wouldn't it be me... why would it be me? I'm your brother, that'd just be weird. You and Gateau I guess I could come to terms with eventually, and you and Mille would be beautiful enough together, but... you... and... me..."

Carrot trailed off, unable to ignore that shattered, broken, empty look in his brothers eyes. Marron was just staring at Carrot, wide-eyed, disbelieving, almost heartbroken...

Carrot realised. Marron wasn't almost heartbroken.

He WAS heartbroken.

He'd had his thoughts and fears before, but that look cemented it for him. There was someone Marron was in love with, someone Marron was obsessed with, and that... that person was Carrot.

"... it wouldn't work, Marron. You, me, we're guys, we're brothers, we're as close as any brothers you could get, I'd hope... but like that, no! Just... no!"

"I haven't even said who it is I love, niisan."

"You don't need to. Your face speaks much more than words, sometimes."

"So...." Marron idly crossed his wrists over each other, still leaning against the branches and the bushes. He seemed to have found something inherently fascinating with the cross of his wrists, because he couldn't take his eyes off of them. "... you figured it out."

Marron stared at his arms, barely able to focus. A pounding echoed through his mind, warm panic descending around him... Carrot knew his deepest secret. Now what?

"If niisan hates me now, then-"

"Hey, Marron, I never said I hated you. I just... geez, I need time to think about this. It's kinda hard to take in, earlier on when you said about how this person was your waking thought and the last thing you thought about before you went to sleep, I thought about how lucky that person was, but... me? It's me you love? That's just... it's just...."

Again, Carrot seemed caught off guard by Marron's eyes.

Carrot sighed.

"There's no way I could hate you. No way. Even after saying I'm the person you're obsessed with, I just... I can't hate you. I guess, just for feeling that, you wouldn't really deserve that anyway. Why should I hate you for someone you think you're in love with?"

"Think? Niisan, I know! It can't be anything else, I'm in love with you!!"

Marron's tears fell at that sentence, then he stopped stock still, with a sharp intake of breath. Carrot looked a little shocked, then looked away, eyes tightly closed.

Carrot didn't say anything. He just stood there, eyes closed... Marron couldn't help it. He cried.

"Niisan... say something... even if it's just to say you hate me..."

"... can't hate you." Carrot was muttering under his breath. "... otouto."

Carrot dropped to the floor, sitting against the tree he'd been leaning against. Marron looked down, and decided to sit next to him, or at least near to him. So at least they were on the same level.

"I guess... this is why you looked so sad when I was saying that stuff about Gateau... you weren't sad because I hated the idea of you and muscleman, you were sad because I hated the idea of two guys, full stop..."

"I can't change how niisan feels."

Carrot looked at Marron through the corners of his eyes.

"But you wish you could, right?"

Marron's voice was a whisper, "More than anything... if it meant that you could love me as much as I loved you."

"Otouto, I DO love you. Don't ever accuse me of not loving you! That'd be too painful, 'cause... 'cause I do love you. You're my treasured little brother, we've known each other for like, all our lives, we gotta deeper bond than most people, right?"

"Y-yes..."

"And we'll always have that bond no matter what, whether we're separated or one of us dies or wherever we are, whoever we're with, we'll always have that bond..."

Carrot's next question caught Marron a little off-guard.

"... what do you want from me?"

"Niisan?"

"You. From me. Want. What do you? I mean... as I said, we have a really close bond, I don't think anyone'd argue with that... we're brothers, so it's not like we'd ever separate and totally lose what we had... Marron, you've got more of me now than the Misu sisters, and we all know how they're like... it doesn't matter how much they love me or say they love me or like me or want to protect me or whatever, you're my brother, so naturally I'm going to think highly of you, and always want you nearby, and... oh, I can't even explain it. Flowery speech is more your kinda thing. But I just... I don't get what it is you want from me. We know each other better than anyone else, we've known each other for so long, we've got a bond that no-one can break... what more do you want from me?"

Your hands running over my body, Marron thought. Mind-numbing orgasm after mind-numbing orgasm prompted by that forbidden touch... that touch was the one he dreamt about, the one he thought about, the one he slept to... he couldn't bring himself to tell Carrot this, though. It was enough he'd mentioned the dreams of his with hot passionate trysts, but if Carrot knew the extent of his dreams...

"It's enough you know I love you. I... to tell you what I want would be to destroy my last remaining fragments of hope, it'd-"

"Sex, isn't it?"

Marron went a deep shade of red. "N-niisan!"

Carrot spoke calmly, as if he was running through daily events, just randomly commenting on things that happened. His humourless flippant mood didn't instil confidence in Marron any.

"You wanna have sex with me. That's what you want, right? Walking around like an open couple would be frowned upon by anyone and everyone and you know that as well as I do, Marron Glacé, so don't try and shake me off with romantic ideals about us walking round like the old married couples do. Cause it ain't gonna happen. Tira 'n Chocolat'd want you dead, Gateau'd want me dead, and I'm not even gay. In case you forgot. We already have the kind of relationship that people see and go 'awww, what a sweet pair of brothers, what a wonderful close relationship they have!', how else are we supposed to further that relationship? S'gotta be sex. Right?"

Carrot looked to Marron for confirmation, but Marron was no longer looking at Carrot. Face in one hand, Marron was crying softly.

For a moment, just one moment, Carrot found himself eyeing his brother harshly, as if he was truly someone pitiful. He also found it hard to look at his brother with any sympathy, and that thought alone, never mind about seeing his brother as suddenly someone different, scared him. Sent a chill down his spine.

When Carrot spoke, his voice was sharp.

"Well? Am I right or not?"

"... you make it sound so coarse and wrong...."

Something snapped inside Carrot.

"In case you're missing the point, Marron, that's 'cause it IS wrong!! It's sick, it's perverted, it's disgusting, and it's wrong. W-r-o-n-g. I mean, fuck, I run around after a million girls a week, and I get my punishment for that, but at least I'm chasing after the right prey! If you want to go fuck other guys, then go climb into Gateau's bed, 'cause I'm sure he's willing."

"B-but... niisan, I don't want Gateau, I want you..."

"SHUT UP!! I can't hear this anymore, it's making me angry just to hear you repeat it over and over. And it's ANNOYING me that I can't look at you and hate you!!"

"Niisan?"

Marron looked up from his hands. For the first time in a while, he looked at Carrot... Carrot didn't look as angry as he'd sounded.

"I... I can't hate you. Part of me says I should. You're my brother, you're a guy, it's disgusting, I should hate you... I should hate Mille Feuille by that logic, but even more I should hate you, you're my brother, you should know better..."

Marron averted his eyes, readying himself for Carrot's next outburst.

It didn't come.

Marron flickered his eyes back in Carrot's direction for a moment... their gazes locked, and Marron blushed a little.

"Niisan, wh-what..."

Carrot's voice was calmer before... almost comforting, "I can't hate you. First and foremost, you're my little brother. I gotta protect you and look after you, if I didn't, who would? I can't bear to see you upset."

"Niisan, what are you saying ?"

Carrot sighed. "As much as the thought of guys having sex doesn't do anything for me... I can't explain it. But in a way, my little brother's in trouble, isn't he? Can't forgive myself for putting you through that pain, why didn't you ever say anything?"

"I... was scared you'd hate me..."

"Even that couldn't make me hate you. Nothing could make me hate you, Marron!! And besides, uh, well..." Carrot seemed to blush a little, looking evasive. "If I screwed you, it wouldn't make me gay, would it? Just as long as, well, no-one found out or anything. It wouldn't mean that either of us were gay, just that we shared a really close relationship, right? Just that we really loved each other, hm?"

Marron looked confused.

"Niisan, you... you were angry just before, and now...?"

"I can't stand seeing otouto cry. Even when we were kids I never liked it when you cried... half the time you only cried because you'd landed me in it with mother, but... that's not the point. Such sad tears... I swear, I'd put up with anything for you. As long as you're happy, then I'm happy... and that's a healthy relationship, right?"

"But... it doesn't make you happy, does it?"

"Making you happy makes me happy. Oh, forget it, we'll end up with headaches at this rate... look, I guess this is up to you. You're sure about this, right? I'd... help you, but we can't tell anyone else about it. It'd be our social deaths, neither Gateau nor the Misu sisters would be happy with either one of us... it'd have to be secret."

"You mean, you'd... you'd..."

"I don't want to hurt you anymore, Marron! Look, what you said today surprised me, when you first started talking, I'd never have thought that you'd have been talking about me... but I did think that whoever you thought that about was lucky. I'm just lucky, right? It surprised me, but in a way... it's not like I was expecting it, but coming from you..." Carrot smiled, shaking his head "I don't know, it's not like it's a normal thing coming from you, but... it's something I could see happening if someone suggested it to me. That's all."

Marron didn't quite understand, but he nodded slightly anyway.

"I... see. So... niisan doesn't mind the dreams I dream about him?"

"Hey, I can't help it if I'm beautiful."

Carrot laughed, and relief washed over him as the ends of Marron's lips curved into a slight smile. He'd broken through, at last.

"I guess... if ya fall in love with someone, ya can't help it. I shouldn't have got mad, I suppose I'm just not good with handling stuff like that when people spring it on me... well, I mean... if it was a girl, but... I mean... you... uh... you know what I mean."

Marron blinked in a silent acknowledgement of humour at his brother's flustered feelings, but said nothing more. Carrot rolled over onto his stomach and crawled over to Marron, looking up at him like a puppy.

"Hey, otouto, talk to me! You're being very quiet, after having so much to say..."

"I can't quite believe you'd agree to something like that so quickly..."

"If it deepens our relationship, it can't be bad. It's just like our current relationship is now, with sex really, isn't it? If you want more than that... well, I guess we'll have to see. Being secret is our top priority."

Marron still looked a little morose. Carrot pulled himself up, kneeling beside Marron. Sighing a little, he slipped his arms around Marron's shoulders, holding their heads together.

"In a world like this, we just have to make the best we can. I can think of worse people to take on as lovers..."

Marron was just surprised at the feeling of Carrot's arms round him once more.

Carrot's chest was pressed against Marron's left arm and the left side of his back. It was only a hug, but... exhausted from the emotional upheaval, Marron's mind was going back to baser instincts. It was just a tight hold of brotherly closeness, but Marron's mind was working overtime... so easily, Carrot could push Marron to the floor, rip the clothes from his body and take him right then and there... or maybe be slower...

Marron blushed. Vital parts of his anatomy, denied outlets for their frustration for so long, were now ready and awaiting further events. Marron's robes were loose, but still, he was visible...

Carrot was just sitting there, his arms round Marron, his eyes closed. Almost like he was asleep, except he wasn't...

"Niisan?"

"Uhn?"

"Niisan, I... I'm..."

Marron was at a loss for words. Carrot sleepily replied "I'm what?" while stretching out with his right hand, then taking back hold of Marron again. Marron didn't reply. Instead of linking with the other arm, Carrot's right arm dropped to rest on Marron's cross-legged leg. Carrot shifted a little so he was behind Marron more, able to access more. He whispered into Marron's ear.

"Ne, otouto... I've never done anything like this before, so... we might have to guide each other on a bit here..."

Marron just gasped, "Y-yes..."... another gasp, sharper, Carrot's hand was on his leg. Running from his leg to his knee and back. Marron closed his eyes; Carrot's intentions were clear.

Carrot shifted again, moving so he was knelt behind Marron. He nestled his head into the slope of Marron's neck, whispering into Marron's ear.

"Where should I put this now?"

"N-niisan... you're... you're teasing me!!" Marron's voice was somewhere between humour and frustration.

Carrot smirked, pressing his lips to Marron's neck, "I know."

Carrot's touch was as gentle as much as it was delicious. Marron jerkily reached out for Carrot's other hand, Carrot gave it up willingly, "Show me where to go, otouto."

Gasping for breath, Marron guided Carrot's hand to his chest.

"Niisan... my heart's beating so much..."

"I know... I can feel it."

Marron's enjoyed the feeling of his hand against his brother's hand, before his own hand dropped down, almost to regain balance against his brother's body. Carrot's hand went up, pressing randomly against Marron's body. His hand went to the catch of Marron's robe, trying to undo it from his neck... with one hand it was tricky, Marron joined him once he realised what Carrot was doing. Their fingers worked together, and eventually, the catch was undone.

Carrot's steady breathing was tantalizing against Marron's shoulder. He pressed his head back, leaning slightly against Carrot's neck now. Carrot nuzzled against Marron's nape, causing him to moan loudly in response.

Carrot's hand moved down to Marron's chest, freeing the buttons from their buttonholes there, letting Marron's robe fall open how it pleased.

Marron cried out as he felt Carrot's hand slip under the open fabric of his robe. Carrot smiled, still nuzzling Marron's neck... "You don't want me to do that?"

"... N-no, please... carry on..."

Carrot nodded slightly. "Very well..."

Carrot's hand was warm against Marron's chest, and Carrot's body pressed against Marron's back was warm too... Marron felt like he was floating, his mind couldn't quite comprehend what was happening.

"I... I can't..." Marron gasped.

Carrot looked up slightly. "Otouto?"

"...I can't believe that this is happening..."

Carrot smiled, more to himself than to Marron. He raised his mouth to Marron's ear, quietly whispering in decidedly seductive tones.

"... Then just pretend it's a dream."

Carrot slowly pulled his hand from Marron's robe. Marron looked at Carrot with slight confusion; Carrot was on the move. He crawled out from behind Marron, then knelt in front of him. Marron let himself be pushed to the floor, his brother's hands on his shoulders. His breath caught in his throat as Carrot's hand ran down his chest, over his robed body, down it... as Carrot's hand idly roamed over the cloth, Marron blushed. He felt shy, in this position, surely Carrot'd see...

Marron gasped sharply... he didn't know if Carrot had meant to, but Carrot's hand had come into indirect contact with Marron's erection... Carrot glanced at Marron's face as he gasped, then at the area his hand had touched. He nodded slightly, a small smile dancing on his lips.

"You want me to take your clothes off, otouto?"

"N...niisan?!"

Carrot slipped his tanktop off, discarding it to the side. Marron just stared.

Carrot smirked, his arms folded. "Hey, come on. It's not like you never seen me naked before, right?"

"... but never like this..."

"That's true."

Marron offered no resistance at Carrot's touch, laying his arms onto the ground, slipping them softly out of his robes... Marron wondered what that look was in Carrot's eyes. Appreciation? Hunger? Lust? A mixture of the three?

Carrot was leaning over Marron a little now. Marron reached out, touching Carrot's face. Carrot put one hand to Marron's. "What is it?"

"In your eyes... you... do want to do this, don't you?"

"I'd be disappointed if we suddenly stopped, otouto." Carrot leant down and kissed Marron's forehead... thinking about how close their naked chests were to each other, Marron felt light-headed. Carrot's kisses trailed down Marron's face, stopping before reaching his lips, hovering just a centimeter or two away. "I'm... I'm hard too. I still don't like guys like that, but... you're my brother, it's different. You're... ohh, Marron, you're beautiful..."

Carrot looked at Marron as if seeing him suddenly for the first time; in a way, perhaps this was true. Marron was someone he'd seen almost every day of his life, he was somebody who was always there, but... now Carrot saw him in such a new way, and it was exhilarating to see, to feel. Carrot pulled himself up on his knees, taking Marron's head in both his hands, staring at his brother for a few moments, relishing that sudden difference. Unable to contain himself, Carrot pressed his lips to Marron's, shocking Marron with that sudden kiss...

Marron felt like that the world was slipping out from under him and being pulled towards Carrot. Or maybe that was just the feeling of his brother's hands, his brother's lips...

Carrot's movements became a little more feral. Closed eyes opened to a hazy view of the world, each set of eyes looking at it's brotherly pair. Carrot pulled up a little, his forehead resting against Marron's forehead.

"You're... you're beautiful..."

Carrot's hands wandered aimlessly down Marron's body. Marron thought his heart would stop when he felt Carrot's thumbs hook his trousers and pull downwards... Carrot did so with a graceful movement, before kicking his own garments off. Neither touching, Carrot looked Marron in the eyes, a tense sound to his voice...

"Otouto... if I carry on, I don't think I'd be able to stop myself... I'm not being selfish, am I? You don't mind if I carry on?"

Leant back with his hair splayed around him like the twigs that waved in the breeze above them, Marron looked quite irresistible. Dark, mysterious, and so endlessly seductive... whether he was seducing or being seduced... Carrot couldn't remember which was which.

Marron smiled slightly.

"Niisan, this situation is my fault. If it wasn't for my thoughts, feelings and dreams, I'd never have told them to you, and we wouldn't be here like this. I'm the one who should be asking you that... niisan."

Carrot's eyes narrowed, his chest pounding. "Then... in that case... I'll never let you go..."

That said, Carrot leapt onto Marron with vigour. He hooked Marron to him, slipping his arms underneath his brother's arms. Marron's legs splayed with Carrot knelt between them, but at feeling the inevitable contact of his hard arousal against Carrot's own... Marron moaned, a throaty moan, and tried to clench his legs together. Carrot being there made that difficult, Marron ended up with his legs linked around Carrot. He didn't mind that.

At Marron's sudden movement, Carrot fell forward slightly, their bodies pressed against one another.

Carrot unhooked one arm from around Marron's back, and lifted himself up a little so he was on all fours. He swept a lock of Marron's hair to the side, looking into Marron's eyes. He looked needy...

"It's warm when niisan lies on me... niisan, would you..."

"I wanted to do this first..."

The hand that had swept Marron's hair away wrapped around Marron's length; Marron acknowledged that touch with a shrill cry... Carrot laughed, despite himself. "Otouto went high-pitched."

Marron couldn't even speak for a few moments. His chest was heaving and his breath was coming in ragged gasps. A fire was building in Marron's lower body, and Carrot was feeding that fire... the sky above was darkness now, and it sent a chill through Marron that he hadn't even noticed that. Before, the darkness had been his sadness, his anger, his hurt, his depression. Now... now, the darkness was that dark fire within him, that dark, forbidden, evil, sinful, lustful, glorious fire... Marron wanted to burst into flames at Carrot's touch. The fact that he couldn't just meant that he had to endure that sweet pain longer... Marron reckoned he could put up with that.

"Uhhnnn... niisan... this is... this is so wrong..."

Somehow, Marron didn't sound disgusted. Almost like the wrong feeling of what they did merely fuelled his hunger, his desire, his lust... he trembled at Carrot's touch. Perhaps that was true.

Natural electricity made Marron shiver. As Marron's hips thrust along with Carrot's hand, Carrot smiled, "It's wrong, but it feels so right... né, otouto? Isn't that right?"

Marron was speechless, "Un..."

"I'll take that as a yes."

Carrot's other hand went to his own erection, slowly stroking it, letting his own desire burn within him... he felt Marron's hands on his shoulders, felt them loop around his neck. He looked to his younger brother, who jerked his head up a little, motioning for Carrot to move up a little... Carrot lunged forward, bodies meshed together. Marron's hands went down Carrot's back, Marron looked up at Carrot with an earnest look in his eyes.

"... even though you're doing that, I still want to feel you against me... still want you to kiss me... remind me that it's real... just... just don't stop..."

"I don't intend to, otouto. I don't intend to..."

Carrot moved one hand back up to touch and caress Marron's face, letting their shared body movement and his other hand slowly build up their passion.

Carrot took hold of Marron's shoulder, brushed the hair from his neck, kissed the pale, warm skin. Marron trembled in his brother's grasp, feeling that warm numb feeling inside him grow, no matter how he tried to fight it, it built and built...

Marron's movements became that bit more frenzied for his imminent climax... wherever he could, he grabbed Carrot, forcing him closer.

"Niisan... niisan, niisan... ni... i... sa... n... I... I can't take it much longer... please... I want to..."

Marron sounded so desperate suddenly, and that in turn fuelled Carrot's feelings. His voice was also desperate, talking, trying to hold himself back, spur his little brother on... "If you want to, go right ahead... I wanna see you shaking over something I've done, hear you crying in passion over something I've done... I... I can't go much longer either..."

Marron's voice cracked in a near-frustrated sob, "I want to come, niisan... I want to come..."

Carrot nodded, body tensing in expectant pleasure, "I'll take you there... come... come with me..."

"Y..yessss...."

Marron's strangled hiss was the beginning of the end. Carrot's hand movements had become more urgent, wanting to coax that orgasm from his brother's frustrated body... Marron's gasps turned to moans turned to cries, hands tightly holding onto Carrot, anchoring himself down from the power that threatened to take him over...

"Niisan... it... it tingles..."

"... tingles?"

Marron's voice was more choked. "It... it burns... I'm on fire..."

"Should I extinguish the fire, or should I stoke it up?"

Marron hadn't got anything to say to that. He threw his head back and nervously moved his hand down to join Carrot's frenzied movements. His hand touched his brother's hand, helped it along with it's activity. Firmly taking hold of Carrot's own burning arousal, he stroked and touched it, those lithe fingers pulling Carrot along... outside himself, Marron felt a leap in his chest for touching his brother in that way, for hearing his brother's cries, knowing that they were something he'd caused... and to touch his brother as his brother touched him... so perhaps they were similar, after all... as Marron moved his hand, so did Carrot. The symmetry made Marron cry out louder for a moment, his movement becoming just that bit more focused...

On Marron's change in movement, Carrot shuddered tightly. Marron could see him tensing, his eyes wide and uncertain, his body shaking alongside his brother's.

"Ni-niisan?"

"M'gonna... uhn... o... otouto... gonna... gonna... uhhh... oh, MARRON...."

Carrot's hand moved it's fastest, encouraging Marron to do the same. Carrot's sentence was his last, his whole body seemed to freeze, and Marron wasn't sure what happened after that, because, at seeing his brother's body wracked with the intensity of his feelings, his body was inflicted with the same.

Nothing else was in the world. Just Marron, Carrot, and their passion. That was it. But for the two of them, it was enough. Carrot repeated Marron's name over, and Marron moaned Carrot's, peaking with a panicked "NIISAN", throwing himself up against his brother, wanting to be in that embrace... hands wrapped around each other, fingernails left their imprints, screams echoed into the night...

Then darkness. A warm darkness. The glade fell silent, the two brothers fallen against each other, gasping for air, still feeling each other's warmth.

For a moment or perhaps longer they stayed like that, tangled within each other, content just with the naked skin against naked skin, their orgasmic fluids mingled and forgotten, just the sounds of the night and each other's breathing, each other's heartbeat.

After however long, Marron was the first one to speak.

"So... was that as sick, disgusting, perverted and wrong as you thought it would be?"

Carrot shifted a little, grinning.

"Oh, moreso, otouto. Moreso. And I loved every moment of it."

Marron's chest shook in a slight laugh. He smiled, looking away from Carrot.

"No, I mean... really."

"Really?"

"Really."

Carrot was quiet for a few more moments. Marron was a little worried, but didn't manage to say 'Niisan?' before Carrot spoke.

"It was... pretty damn good. I mean, it was..." Carrot seemed lost for words, taking a moment before repeating himself with a small but warm smile, "... really good. I mean, I guess I thought it was gonna be weird 'cause it's like, you're my brother... I don't know. But I thought it was great. Not something I'd go run off and do with Gateau or anyone, as I said, I still don't like guys like that... just you."

Marron smiled indulgently. Selfish as it felt, it was nice to hear something like that coming from his niisan.

"So it's something just the two of us share... I can live with that."

"You sure? It might be a hard secret to keep..."

"It's a bit late for that, niisan. But I won't say anything if you don't. I... know how you are on things like this, and if it meant doing what my niisan wanted, then, well, I'd do it. I won't tell anyone, I promise."

Carrot nodded, content.

"And I won't tell anyone either. It's not something they need to know, is it?"

"No... it's our secret."

"Our little secret."

The glade fell silent.

Carrot's voice was quieter than before.

"Marron?"

"Mmn?"

"I... I love you."

Marron's eyes misted up a little. It wasn't as if Carrot hadn't said things like that before, but... given the situation, the emotion weighed heavily on Marron's shoulders; he nodded.

"I love you too, niisan. More than you can ever know."

"Hopefully I'll learn a little though, right?"

"... perhaps."

Marron smiled, feeling the effort it took to keep his eyes open. The sky was dark, but... not black. Dark blue, not black. The whippy tops of the trees were visible, shaking in the nights wind... Marron mused on his feelings earlier on in the evening. A life of secrecy beckoned, and with secrecy came danger... but he couldn't help but feel a weight lifted off of him, off his mind, and a new weight on his body, the weight of his sleeping brother. Marron idly wondered what the morning would bring... he wondered whether he should wake Carrot up... so much for the secrecy if Carrot chose to lie around naked on top of his little brother all night. But maybe he could stay there just a bit longer.

Marron shifted a little, tugging his robe out from underneath him. He threw it over Carrot's shoulders, hoping it might keep him warm. Marron decided, he would have to wake Carrot up at some point. Didn't want him catching cold, after all...

But that could come after sleep, Marron thought, as his eyelids fluttered to a close.