Sorcerer Hunters Fan Fiction ❯ Comforting Embrace ❯ Chapter 1

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**COMFORTING EMBRACE**

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It's late at night, but I don't mind being awake. No, it's worth it to watch you sleep.

 

It hurts... it hurts when I see you like this. I know things have been getting heavy recently, but... it doesn't change anything, right, niisan?

 

I sigh softly. I don't know. I suppose it must, for us to even be here like this. Recently, nightmares and bad dreams have haunted you with such a disturbing frequency... when you cry in your sleep, it's me who's by your side, I can't sleep while you're in such pain. Sometimes you wake up to find me standing next to your bed, worried. Sometimes you find me knelt beside you, concerned... I wish I could somehow come into your sleep and comfort you. Enter your dreams and make you feel alright again... it's always the same thing. Sacher Torte, the God of Destruction... you dream of them nightly. Nightmares where you destroy everything, where you can't control yourself, you're Hakaishin, you're the one with the power to destroy the world... you don't want that. I wish I could do something to calm you down, to take away your worry, but... while the God of Destruction sleeps inside of you, there's nothing I can do. Our experiences haunt us too much.

 

So this is all I can do. It hurts inside... it didn't used to be as much, but now it's every night, almost. I sleep lightly, so when you cry... I hear it. Sometimes it's just mumblings, sometimes it's more... I get out of my bed, stay next to yours, awaiting your eyes opening... I can't bring myself to wake you up. When we were younger, you never used to like being disturbed while you slept... though if I was having a nightmare, you never hesitated to stay awake and hold me. Sleeping in your arms always felt so good. Maybe that's how come you calm down once you're asleep in my arms, but... it's difficult to bring myself to sleep once we're like this. But that's just my sacrifice, I suppose. I'd sacrifice more than my sleep to keep you safe. No, but... every night, you go to sleep... I hear you crying... I wait for you to wake up. You always look at me with such an empty look... it takes all of my being not to burst into tears and hug you then. But I want to be strong for you... you have enough tears without mine flowing alongside yours. Some nights we don't even say anything... you look at me, scared enough to wake from your dream... I understand totally, you don't need to say anything to me. Sometimes it's just a quiet 'hold me', sometimes it's just the tears. Even when it's just silence... you move your sheets, I join you under them, slowly I wrap my arms around your shoulders, draw you close to me... sometimes you try to snuggle down into me, holding me as tightly as I hold you, as much as I want you near, you not only want me near, you need me near... sometimes you fall asleep like that, disturbed by your dreams, but comforted enough by my closeness... sometimes you won't stop crying... you can't stop crying. I sit next to you, you pull me close, and you just cry... it's so hard not to cry with you... but what reason would I have? And what right do I have to cry at my own uselessness, when you cry with so much more reason? You never tell me much of your dreams... I've gathered what they always seem to be about, but I never hear more than a word or two amongst your tears. They disturb you too greatly. Sacher Torte, Hakaishin, the totality of the death and destruction you- or the thing inside you- causes... I can only imagine what those dreams are like, niisan. When you say you dream of our deaths... that was the one time I almost regretted asking you what you dreamt about; it hurt me to ask and it hurt you to tell, and I've not asked since. You cried while telling me, and I cried listening, though I hid my tears beyond your glance... you, as the uncontrollable Hakaishin... you said you often dreamt of our deaths. That night, the Misu sisters had flown at you, trying to whip you into submission, trying to bring you back to yourself, but it was useless, they were powerless against you, and you had the power... so they died. Gateau died somewhere along the line too, you said... you couldn't even remember where, just Sacher laughing, standing by the dead bodies of fallen comrades... I had to ask. I had to ask what happened to me in your dreams... I had to ask. You'd cried bitterly, saying you didn't want to tell me... and I don't know how you ended up telling me. I suppose you felt it'd be better off your chest... the fallen forms of the Misu sisters and Gateau, and... I'm there, screaming your name, shouting your title, anything to get the part of Hakaishin that is still Carrot Glacé to respond... but in the dream, there is no Carrot Glacé. Just Hakaishin. And Marron Glacé dies at the hands of Hakaishin also. I didn't know what to think at your painfully vivid recollection... to hear my death spoken about like that, it was a strange feeling. You asked me if I was satisfied now I knew, I... I didn't say anything. Then you cried, flinging your arms around me, crying about how you didn't want me to die, how you didn't want to go back to those dreams, because those dreams was where death and uncertainty lurked... you cried, and, for that night, I cried with you. I cried about how I didn't want to leave you, and about how I'd always hold you close, whenever you needed to be held, my arms would always be open to hold you...

 

Tonight was a quieter night. I'd woken from sleep to hear you sobbing... I wondered if you were awake and hadn't wanted to wake me, but going to your bed as always, I saw you were still asleep... names passed your lips, mine seemed to catch... you cry bitterly even in your sleep. It hurt to watch, but it was better than the nights where you awoke screaming from your dreams; nice as it is to know that the Misu sisters care, it's never easy to get them to go back to bed once they're in here and worried about the one they love. It's not that you don't value their comfort, but they get too worried, too curious... they don't have the unspoken bond we have. You look at me once with your eyes full of tears, and I know what's wrong... I know what to do. So... yes, you were crying in your sleep... the cries died down a little, and I wondered if perhaps your nightmare was going away, but then your eyes snapped open... only to meet mine. I won't leave you on your own for a second when you might be needing me... as always, I got into bed with you, you pressed against me, almost cradled in my arms, you close your eyes so gently once you're on the comfort of my lap... I stroke your hair, whisper that it'll be alright, that I'm here for you, that I'll always be here for you... then you sleep, and I feel happiness that you seem so relaxed. Anything could be happening in your dreams, but it's not enough to affect you like the other dreams, and so my worry can lessen for a short while. But it is hard to bring myself to sleep once we're like this... by sleeping myself, I risk abandoning you, even if only for the night, and I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if that happened...

 

You gently shift in my arms... I whisper your name... are you awake? Can't you sleep? A slight sob is my only reply... you're crying. Niisan, why are you crying? I ask you... you move, lying down on your side on the bed. You indicate for me to join you, so I do, lying alongside you... you look empty... a strange defocused look in your eyes, the silence in the room like some kind of spell that binds us... asides from my unanswered question, that still hung in the air. You didn't tell me what was wrong... but I know better than to press subjects that you might not want to raise. I don't want to make you uncomfortable, I... all I want is for you to sleep easily. Whatever it takes to enable that, I'll do it... I'll hold you all night, I'll let you cry on me, I'll whisper soft encouragement to you, encouragement that you can escape the dreams, that you can sleep a dreamless sleep... oh... how I wish I could say that for certain. But I talk as best as I can... I don't know if you can sleep dreamlessly, but I wish that you could, more than anything, so perhaps that determination is how you avoid picking up on my uncertainty... we just stare at each other, but it's not uncomfortable. The depth of our eyes is a sanctuary for both of us... in your dark brown eyes, I could lose myself... but for the moment... all I want to do is to calm them, there's an uncertainty hiding behind those eyes, even as you look into mine... there's a sincerity, but an uncertainty. Like you're scared. You don't need to tell me what's wrong, after all... I know what's wrong. You're scared to sleep, no matter how much you want to... sleep would only mean waking up with the sheets tightly gripped between clenched fists, breathing that doesn't come easy... the tears, the cries, the images that won't leave your tortured mind...

 

Oh god, niisan, what was it that made you this way? What being was it that tried to steal your body and make you no longer yourself? What did you do to deserve this, niisan?

 

What could anyone do to deserve the pain you go through?

 

My eyes mist slightly. Seeing you look so empty... you've not done anything to deserve the pain you go through every night. You don't deserve it. Niisan, I wish I could take Hakaishin into my own body... I don't care what it would mean for me, but... if it meant that I could take your pain away, let you rest easy, let you live a life without worry... it would all be worth it. Even if it meant my life, I wouldn't mind... the satisfaction from knowing you were free would be worth the pain of leaving you.

 

I reach out with my hand and softly stroke your cheek. The touch is a familiar one, tender and loving... you put your hand to mine, holding it to you, curling your fingers against mine, holding my hand against yours. Leaving you would be an unbearable pain, I want to be with you forever... but how long is forever, while the threat of Hakaishin lives within you? For the God of Destruction to awaken, it would mean... your death... what if Hakaishin arose, and I couldn't do anything about it? I would be helpless to watch you die, and... I don't want you to die. You're the one who protected and loved me all my life, I love you more than life itself, and if you died... I don't know what I'd do...

 

I feel helpless, but I can't tell you that. My own worry is my burden, but you carry the weight of a much greater burden. What can we do against such a power? Only what we can. But if what we can do is enough, then... if it's enough, then... it's enough...

 

You smile sadly at me... I stop from stroking your cheek, content to hold my hand against it, content to feel you holding my hand. To have you alive in front of me now... it's enough. The future's the future, and it isn't now... the future scares us more than anything, because once it comes, it might be too late... but for now, the future is the future...

 

A quiet voice in the room. "Otouto, please... hold me..."

 

Your voice is barely audible, but words are unnecessary; you don't need to ask me to hold you, I'd do that anyway. I shift closer to you, gently taking you in my arms, holding you how you want to be held. You fall onto your back, pulling me with you; underneath me, you're warm... but you still don't look calm... there's still a pain in your eyes. I hold you tighter for noticing that pain... perhaps words are necessary after all; I want to do what I can for you, niisan.

 

You shift against me; I loosen my hold to allow you movement. You reach up, placing your hands on my neck... your fingers go to the catch of my robe, you seem so focused as you start to undo my robe, staring intently at your fingers as they work... niisan, what is it that you want? I don't say anything, but you catch the slight surprise in my eyes, hear my breathing. You freeze, my eyes narrow slightly, silently asking you... you look away slightly, sadly...

 

"I- I just wanted to... maybe have you hold me... in your robes, with them around me, I mean... I... I feel lonely, I wanted to have you n-... I mean... I want to be as close to you as I can, I..."

 

I put my head to yours, silencing you with a soft kiss. You don't need to say anything else.

 

"Niisan... I understand..."

 

You look at me for a moment as I pull away, a softness seems to enter your eyes, and a warmth spreads throughout my body at the sudden lack of fear I saw. With me... there is no fear. We're comfortable with each other, able to comfort each other, the presence of one being able to remove the other's fear... are your dreams forgotten? I kiss you as you undo my robe; I love you, niisan. More than anything else. Even if it's just in the smallest gesture, I want you to know how much I love you... how much I want you near... you've finished undoing my robe, you shift to pull your own tanktop off. I help you with that, pulling it over your head, you throw it to the floor. You pull me to you once again, tucking loose edges of my robe underneath your body. It's slightly constricting, but it holds us together, as my arms do as I replace their tight hold... the meeting of naked skin to naked skin, in any other situation, might have been exhilarating. But your body feels... it almost feels cold, against mine. I want to warm you, I want you to feel safe in my arms... are you alright now? Is this what you want?

 

"Marron... can we stay like this?"

"Of course, niisan..."

 

"I mean... I don't have to sleep, do I?" You sound worried in your question.

 

You wrap your hands around me, slipping them under my robe. I nuzzle my head against yours, tucking you under my chin, gently enjoying the warm feeling of being so protective.

 

"Not if you don't want to, niisan. You don't have to do anything you don't want to."

 

You pull your head out from underneath mine, a movement that makes me look at you; I feel pained again, despite our position, there's still pain in your eyes... a slightly different sort of pain perhaps, but still... pain... I don't want you to hurt anymore, niisan! What can I do?

 

"But, otouto...", you yawn, "... I'm so tired... but I don't want to sleep, I don't want those dreams again... please, otouto... could you... could you help keep me awake?"

 

I'm not sure what exactly you mean by that, but whatever you want of me, I'll do my best to fulfil those wishes. Anything for you.

 

"Yes, niisan... what should I do?"

 

Your hands move up my back, pressing with soft fingertips... almost as if... there's something more that you want... no, I mustn't think about that... unless you request it, I... I wouldn't want to try to suggest anything to you that you didn't want... embraces and kisses are one thing, but...

 

"... anything you want, otouto... just as long as you can help me forget... I don't want to sleep, I don't want those dreams, I don't want those nightmares... but even while I'm awake... I can't forget them... they haunt me, otouto... please, I just want to forget..."

 

"Niisan, if I could make you forget, then I would... I just... I don't know what I can do... all the closeness in the world can't help if I can't help you, niisan, I... I don't know what I can do..."

 

Do I sound too hopeless? Oh, but niisan... if I could do something to make you forget... something, anything... but what?

 

You speak softly, quietly.

 

"I... I do..."

 

Against my chest and heartbeat, I feel yours too... your heartbeat against mine... your hands against mine... us two, pressed together, lying out on the bed... I'm almost afraid to ask you what you're implying. I want to know, I think I know, but... I don't want to be so presumptuous, in case I'm wrong, but... no, niisan... I have to ask. Sometimes those dark eyes of yours are impossible to read; you have to help me...

 

"... niisan, what... what do you mean?"

 

"I think you know...", you lean up, you kiss me. Your kisses are different to mine. Mine are soft, mine are to try and calm you down, mine are to comfort you... your kiss confuses me. Your kiss is soft, but it's not just a kiss to comfort... there's something in that kiss... the way you move against me, the way your eyes close... there's something more to that kiss than just searching for comfort. You want something... you want something from me. You want something that I'm scared to give... you seem to sense my unease, you pull away, your head dropping onto the bed with a soft noise.

 

"O-otouto... please..."

 

You seem to shiver as you speak, a light tremble that touches against my body.

 

I glance away quickly, "Niisan, I... I can't! I can't do that to you, I... I..."... I can't think of an argument against it so I look at you again, uncertain. I can't think of an argument against it, but... in your current state of mind... is it alright? Is it really what you want? I look at you, trying to glean some kind of answer from you... you're lying underneath me, you... you... I can't deny it. Niisan... I want you... if you want me then I wouldn't argue because I'd want you just the same, but I can't ask that of you, not at this moment. It'd be taking advantage, it wouldn't be right, it'd...

 

"Otouto... take me..."

 

My thoughts freeze along with my body for a moment as you say that. I look at you, shocked. You look up with a kind of distanced emotion... you're blushing, but there are tears in your eyes. When you spoke, it was a plea... when you speak... you sound like you want to cry...

 

"... please... otouto... I want you to take me..."

 

"T-take you?"

 

You nod, one hand going from my back to my face, you holding my chin with your thumb and forefinger, reaching up, stroking my cheek as I did to you... there is silence for what seems like a kind of eternity before you next speak.

 

"Y-yes... take me... take me away from here, take me... take me to somewhere I can forget my problems..."

 

"Is there even a place like that?"

 

"You... have the power to take me there... I want to lose myself in your embrace, but... I don't want to sleep... I want to be as close to you as I can be, I want to feel happiness because of you... otouto, I- I understand if you don't want to, it... it's a lot to ask..."

 

It's a lot to ask, and a lot to give. Do I really have that kind of power? You're placing a lot of faith within my body, niisan... I'm only human, can I... can I really... do I have the power to take you somewhere where you can truly forget your problems?

 

You move slightly, pushing your hands against my chest. I just stare at you, my heart beating... if you want me to, then I will, but... niisan, are you sure?

 

"Marron... you're the only person I feel safe with anymore... everyone else... they all worry about me, and I appreciate their concern, but... they're not you, they... they don't make me feel like you make me feel... I... I want to give myself to you totally... I want to lose myself... I want to forget myself..."

 

"Niisan, how can I have that power?"

 

"The touch of your skin is enough to make my heart race... I think... it's possible..."

 

"You... you don't mind?"

 

"Otouto... I'm the one asking this of you. I should be the one asking if you mind, not the other way around... d-do you mind?"

 

You're frightened, niisan. I can see it in your eyes, on your face... you do want this, don't you? And you're scared, in case I say no... I can't be sure this is what you want, but... at least, it seems like... this is what you want... and if it's what you want, if you really think it'll help... then I can't say no... we're both frightened. I'm frightened in case I can't be what you want me to be... you're frightened of that place you go when you sleep, of that place you can't escape from... you want another place you can't escape from. You want somewhere better than that. You want that somewhere unleashed from within me... you smile, slightly nervous as you move your hands around my neck.

 

"... otouto?"

 

"Niisan... I... I don't mind, but... there's so much that's uncertain..."

 

A slight look of annoyance overtakes you, have I angered you?

 

"Marron, everything's uncertain. Hakaishin... Hakaishin could be unleashed tomorrow and we could all die. Big Mama might send us against some Sorcerer who'd end up killing us all. If that's uncertain and the future's uncertain, then what's wrong with us being a little uncertain too? Can't we make ourselves certain?"

 

Your hands move to my shoulders, "I don't see anything wrong about being uncertain with you..."

 

I feel your hands, your fingers pressing against me, against my shoulders, against my neck... I'm frozen, only able to stare down at you. You stare up at me, still... distanced, somewhat... you lean up, kissing me. You pull me down with you as you kiss me, your arms around my neck now, skin feeling warmer against mine... when you pull back, your eyes are closed and you're shaking. Yet still you smile.

 

"Niisan, you... you're shaking?"

 

You slowly open your eyes, looking into mine as if you're searching for something.

 

"I'm sorry, otouto... I... I can't help it..."

 

"Don't apologize, niisan..." I kiss you again, "... don't apologize."

 

You pull me to you the closest you can, and we lie there like that for a few moments. I feel you breathe underneath me, I can still feel your body tremble, it transfers into your breathing, and your breathing is shaking as you take it. You close your eyes slowly, then open them quickly.

 

"I... I can't sleep... I don't want to sleep..." Your voice grows with intensity, "Marron, you can't let me sleep!"

 

I pull away from you, you let your hands fall to the sides of the bed. My palms pressed flat against the bed above your shoulders, you staring up at me... I stare back down at you. There's silence, just for those few moments.

 

My stare breaks as my emotion grows.

 

"... niisan... niisan, if I could somehow sleep for you, then I would..."

 

You smile quietly, looping a frond of my hair between two fingers, staring at them and not at me. You speak quietly, almost regretfully...

 

"Marron, I told you what I wanted."

 

I pause, still staring at you. That's true, you did tell me. But can I really... can you... we... I...

 

I'm uncertain. You said there's nothing wrong with being uncertain, but... it's still what I feel. I'm nervous in case I can't be what you want me to be, I don't want to make you uncomfortable and I don't want to disappoint you...

 

"... you said that you want me to... that you wanted me to... take you..."

 

You nod.

 

"That's right. I do."

 

My eyes narrow, I silently steel my resolve. It... it is what you want, isn't it? You want me, and at the moment, that's all you want... myself... it's all I can give to you, niisan. I'll give myself to you and let you take what you want. I'll take you and protect you totally. We'll have each other, all of each other, and that's... that's enough for us.

 

I lean down and kiss you again, you... you just let me kiss you. You're still shaking... I want to calm you down, niisan. Calm you down, make you feel alright... I kiss your forehead, kiss your momentarily closed eyes, kiss you... you look so slightly pensive when you next speak.

 

"... Marron...?"

 

I smile as softly and calmly as I can manage.

 

"... if you want me to, niisan, then... I will..."

 

Just a slight nod, such a slight movement...

 

"... yes, otouto... I... I want you to..."

 

Nothing more needs to be said. I lean down to kiss you again, kissing you slowly, gently... passionately... if it's what you want, then I have to give it, don't I, niisan? If it's for you, it's alright. For you, anything is alright.

 

 

From your lips to your neck to the downward curve of your shoulders, I kiss you with intensity that varies. A light, soft kiss makes you cry out, so different to when you cry out from a nightmare... a harder biting kiss elicits an elongated moan that stirs fire within me. Gentle is alright to comfort, but... you also want somewhere you can forget, don't you? Somewhere you can forget, intense feeling that won't let you remember... it's alright to be a little rougher if that's what you want me to be, niisan.

 

I kiss you, I touch you, you do the same to me. Wordless familiar motions that cause a gasp, a moan, a cry... we prepare each other mentally and physically, body and mind awaiting the inevitable... then you look at me with such a look and I can feel you against me, niisan... that look... it tells me to wait no longer.

 

 

So I don't.

 

 

My robe lies discarded to the side, along with any other items of clothing we had. You're pressed against the headboard and the wall, sitting on the pillows, your legs wrapped around my hips, gasping with each movement I give you. My hands are against the headboard to steady myself, and your arms are around me to steady yourself... your eyes are closed, quietly concentrating on the feelings you feel... you open your eyes weakly, and I smile at you. You smile back. I'm glad.

 

I want to speak, but other than your title, I can't seem to join the words together to form anything coherent... no matter. Words are unimportant.

 

I try to move gently, but you pull me against you, into you, and you don't want me to move gently. I move how I think you'd want me to move, I kiss you continually, and when you moan my name, I whisper yours in reply. That makes you cry out, cry my name with more passion... you close your eyes and move as I guide you, moving one hand down to the pillows to clench the soft material between your desperate fingers... cloth doesn't behave like skin does, and pillows aren't as warm; you quickly move your hand back to me, your arm around my neck, pulling me down, pulling me close... you pull me close to you and yourself close to me, and I feel your hot, ragged breath against my neck as you kiss and nuzzle with urgency. Again, my name is all you can say, but it's enough...

 

 

How long that went on for, I couldn't say. Eventually, there seemed to be a sudden change, only a slight change, but one that both of us noticed; we can't continue for too much longer, and it's almost as if I can feel your body tense beneath me...

 

"Nii... niisan...?"

 

You put a finger to my lips, "N-no, otouto... don't... don't say anything..."

 

I don't, continuing as I have done before, watching you throw your head back, your jaw clenched as you moan my name again. I kiss your upturned chin, you drop it slightly, looking at me with an intense stare, no longer able to smile as physical feeling rips through your body, controlling you... you just look at me with half-lidded eyes, fingers holding that little bit harder, pressing into my skin, but... I don't mind.

 

"... o... otouto... I can't... not for much longer..."

 

I nod and kiss against you, "It's alright, niisan... n-niisan... don't fight it..."

 

You arch against me, pulling yourself away from the headboard and wall, "I... wouldn't want to..."

 

Our movements echo that of each other, connected with a connection deeper than physical; when you arch against me, that movement so graceful, it takes my breath away. You arch against me and I press against you, mirroring your desperate feeling. You can't hold back for much longer, and neither can I; you wanted me to take you, niisan... let me take you now.

 

Hands hold tighter and thrusts search deeper, and as I told you not to fight it, you know that I'm not fighting it either. Not anymore. A moan turns into an urgent cry, you hold your hands against my shoulders, clenched around them, pressing deeply; the pressure is a sign of your passion and I welcome it, much as I welcome the numbing feeling that leadens my legs and freezes my body; I'm close, niisan... I'm so close...

 

I press you firmly against the bed, and somehow we both fall a little from that movement, and I press you against the pillows as opposed to the wall. You just hold yourself against me, your body pulsing and jerking with and against my thrusts, and you seem so far gone...

 

You're so far gone from anything, niisan. Anything except for me. Your nightmares are somewhere far away, Hakaishin is forgotten, Sacher Torte doesn't exist in this world of just you and me. I give you what I can and you transform it into what you want, and you can finally forget all those things that you never wanted to remember in the first place. We are alone, and we are everything. Nothing else exists for us, only each other.

It's a powerful feeling to see how I've made you, and as you reach your helpless climax, I can't hold back either. You hold yourself against me in your tightest embrace, pulling your forehead so it presses against mine, looking at me with eyes clouded through lust and paralysing feeling.

 

"... otouto... something I wanted to forget... there was... something... I can't even remember... what it was I... I didn't want to remember..."

 

We hold ourselves tightly to each other as we finally reach climax, my feelings increased tenfold by the power which I did have after all; I took you there, niisan. I took you to that place that you wanted... I didn't trust my own body to have that power, but somehow, it did... it did, and I took you there... I took you there... and you were able to forget...

 

The feeling descends around us like a mist, powerful and controlling. Names are cried and skin is marked, branded by uncontrolled desperate fingers, but the moment builds to it's heady peak then passes, as soon as it was with us, it's suddenly gone, and we fall back onto the bed, exhausted.

 

 

I lie on top of you, feeling your heartbeat hammer against your chest, feeling mine within my own, the two pressed together making me feel warm. You make me feel warm. We are warm, skin feeling clammy where it meets, but it's a welcome feeling. Your heartbeat rages and your breathing is deep, mine similar. My body feels heavy, I can't bring myself to move other than to breathe, but eventually I manage to open my eyes.

 

"... nii... san..."

 

I listen to your breathing but I can't hear anything else.

 

Niisan?

 

Niisan, are you alright?

 

I move my head to look at you; your breathing is deep, a little calmer now, and your eyes are closed.

 

"... Niisan?"

 

You don't reply, other than a slight shifting of your arms that holds me tightly against you still.

 

I smile softly... you're asleep. You were tired before, and even I feel so exhausted now, so... I suppose it was inevitable, and you certainly look calm. And you forgot, even if it was only for that one shining moment, you forgot... and it was me who made you forget. I think it's alright for you to sleep now, niisan.

 

I gently reposition myself on the bed, pulling out of you, shifting up so I can hug you in a more comfortable position while you sleep. You mumble something as you feel me move, but I can't make out what it was that you said, and you don't say anything after that, so I suppose it was something said in sleep.

 

You seem so peaceful now. It warms me like nothing else to see you like this... it feels so hopeless when you're crying and you can't stop, when I hold you and still you can't stop... but when I hold you like this, when I hold you like this and you're so calm, so relaxed...

 

I close my eyes. I feel comfortable to sleep now that I know that you're comfortable... let tomorrow bring what it will. There'll always be tonight... and the other nights just like them.

 

I love you, niisan. I'll love you always, and I'll do anything, anything to protect you.

 

I'll protect you, niisan.

 

Forever.

 

 

 

~End~

 

 

 

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Author's Ranting

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*Happy squees* Wasn't that sweet? It feels good to get this fic done; it's one of those that's been sitting on my laptop for aaages, one that I keep opening up, keep reading, and maybe add a word or a sentence to, then go back to something else 'cause I'm not in the mood. It's one of those I really had to be in the mood to write; being tired doesn't help my writing and I've been so tired recently, what with exams and all (excuses excuses)... still, I only have one more exam left \o/ and that's not until next tuesday, w00t. Anyway... recently I've been working on A Brother's Love more than any other fic, it's just something that's ended up captivating me, and I haven't really be working on any other fics, Tabi bad... but but, Sachan mentioned several times about how she liked this fic, and I was looking through my fics today, and I thought 'Oh, why not' and managed to finish it ^o^. Yay for Sachaninspiration~

Aah, but ya gotta love that brotherly devotion, right? This fic came about sometime after I read volume 11... you know the bit I mean, Carrot having his nightmare about Sacher and Hakaishin and everything (scary dream o.o) and Marron is just immediately there for him, <3 <3 <3. I love that.

 

~Tabi~

13th June 2003