Sorcerer Hunters Fan Fiction ❯ Future Echoes ❯ The Last Christmas ( Chapter 4 )

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Sorcerer Hunters

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Future Echoes

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~4~

 

 

 

Marron didn't remember much of what'd happened when he woke up. He woke up about fourty minutes later; the end of school, the bell went. He heard the bell somewhere within himself, but it was when Gateau burst into the room, worried out of his mind, that Marron woke up. He woke up to find himself in Gateau's arms, in Gateau's strong, warm hold... Marron let out a sigh of relief. Gateau looked back at Marron's sound, realising he was awake.

 

"M-Marron!! Oh... oh, Marron, you're awake!! Damn, why does no-one ever TELL me these things? I only just found out you were here! I waited outside yer classroom for ya, one of the chicks in yer class was like 'Are you waiting for Marron?' and I was like 'Yeah' and she said that she'd taken you to the medical room at the beginning of the lesson, and that you were probably still there... oh man, I was so worried, what's wrong? How come you're here? Are you sick? Ill? Something up? What's wrong? You wanna take tomorrow off? I'll look after you if you want me to... is it a cold? You sick? What's wrong?"

 

Marron just smiled softly at Gateau. "It's... it's nothing as bad as that. I just felt... not quite up to lessons, I suppose. I ended up snapping at the teacher... the teacher thought I should spend some time in here to calm down. I... I suppose I fell asleep... it's probably just end-of-term blues or something."

 

"Marron, we still got another two and a half weeks until the end of term, if this is whatcha like this early in december, I dread to think what yer gonna be like once we get to christmas. So, uh, you wanna go home now?"

 

"Yes."

 

Gateau nodded, standing up. He slowly let go of Marron, helping him up. "You sure you can walk?"

 

"I'm not that ill, Gateau. Just... tired." He rubbed at his head, "I've got one hell of a headache, though... I don't remember where I got that from."

 

"I thought sleep usually helped headaches... if you just woke up and you've got a headache, then maybe it's something serious... maybe we should take you to a doctor or something? We could go on the way home."

 

"No, I'm sure I'm just... I'm sure it'll pass."

 

Gateau watched Marron carefully, not quite convinced.

 

"Well... if... if you're sure..."

 

"I'm sure, Gateau! Let's just go home."

 

Gateau nodded, casting a glance over to the window; he realised it was snowing, and he felt a slight happiness within him. He turned to Marron, nudging his shoulder, speaking quietly.

 

"Hey... Marron? It's still snowing."

 

"Really?" Marron looked up to the window, and realised that Gateau was right; it was still snowing. It was still snowing, and the two of them were about to walk home... Marron hugged himself tightly, smiling warmly. He and Gateau would be able to walk home in the softly falling snow after all...

 

Gateau nodded, "Yeah... yeah, it really is."

 

The two of them left the medical room, telling the offices that Marron seemed okay now, and that they were going home. The people there nodded, and Gateau and Marron left the office block. They walked under the shelter in front of the office buildings, and Marron felt the chill of the cold air on his skin as they walked out into the uncovered atmosphere... it was snowing. It was darker than it'd been before, streetlamps were on... the wind wasn't really blowing, though. The snow just fell directly from the clouds to the floor... Marron looked up, laughing slightly.

 

"It's really beautiful..."

 

Gateau threw an arm around Marron's shoulders, holding him close. Marron was slightly surprised, but he let himself be held by Gateau as they walked. Even with his jacket done up, he didn't feel exactly warm... Gateau felt warm, though. Gateau loved him, and that knowledge warmed him too... Gateau nodded at Marron's sentiment.

 

"Yeah, it IS beautiful, isn't it? Kinda like the person I've got my arm round right now."

 

"Gateau..." Normally said as a slight warning, but this time... it wasn't. Marron just wanted to say Gateau's name to see how it sounded, almost... Gateau... that name... the person who loved him... the person he loved? It'd been a while, Marron couldn't imagine life with anyone else, he couldn't imagine life without Gateau, he didn't want to imagine life without Gateau... he smiled serenely as he leant a little more into Gateau's arm. Gateau smiled, "You don't want me saying yer beautiful? Sorry, but I won't stop saying that, 'cause you are beautiful, I love ya, but... you knew that."

 

Marron closed his eyes momentarily against Gateau's jacket. He felt safe, Gateau was so warm, so comforting... he opened his eyes slightly, watching the snow as it fell... maybe it was the weather influencing him, but whether it was or not, Marron didn't mind. He felt... suddenly so calm...

 

"... It doesn't hurt to say it, though... does it? I don't mind it when you say you love me... I love you too."

 

Gateau stopped slowly in his tracks. Marron stopped with him, things seeming to happen slowly, as if in a dream. Marron smiled gently at Gateau, his voice soft, slightly chiding.

 

"What? I'm not allowed to say that too?"

 

"N-not at all! I just... you've... never actually said that... you love me?"

 

Marron nodded, wrapping one arm behind Gateau, holding onto his shoulder.

 

"Yes... yes, I do. I love you. I just feel so... I feel so safe with you. I don't want to be with anyone else, and I certainly don't want to be without you... is it wrong to tell you I love you?"

 

The two of them continued walking, Gateau looking... almost tearful?

 

"No, it's not wrong at all. Not at all. Wow. I'm so happy... must be something to do with the snow, eh? You said it was romantic... I always thought so too, but... I agree with ya even more now. You told me you loved me when it was snowing... you've made the snow special."

 

"I've done that much? Well, if that's how you feel. I've always liked the snow."

 

The two of them walked the rest of the way back to the apartment in general silence... not an uncomfortable silence, though. Marron was happy in Gateau's company, and Gateau was happy in Marron's. The two of them didn't need to speak, they were just happy to be with each other. Their presence was enough to each other.

 

They walked into the apartment, Marron was happy enough to find that it was warm even when he left the safe warmth of Gateau's arms. They hung their jackets up and stood in the front hallway, just smiling at each other for a few moments. Gateau tacklehugged Marron, the two of them wobbling through to the front room before balance gave way and they fell onto the sofa; they laughed, Marron amused at how Gateau had fallen onto him.

 

"So, you're feeling like that, Gateau?"

 

Gateau leant up, wrapping his arms around Marron. "I can't help it, I just..." He started smothering Marron with kisses, each word he spoke punctuated by a kiss. "... love... you... so... much...!"

 

Marron laughed, "I realised, I realised."

 

Gateau rested his head in the crevice of Marron's neck for a few moments.

 

"So you feel okay now?"

 

"Gateau, I feel better than okay... I feel... I... there isn't a word to describe how I feel. I don't care that... that... I don't care about anything right now. Just you."

 

Gateau nodded, looking up slightly. "Marron, if you knew how much I wanted you right now..."

 

"Gateau, you have me... if it's any consolation... I probably want you just as much."

 

The snow still fell outside as general conversation moved to particular conversation... conversation died down, and the general moved to the particular moved to the very particular, soft kisses became urgent, 'I love you' became a shared phrase, said more by Marron this time, sounding almost panicked as Gateau took him further... but he was so sure. As the two of them rested on the sofa afterwards, Marron wondered... how could he have ever thought anything else? How could he ever have done anything other than love Gateau?

 

Gateau rested his head on Marron's chest, nuzzling it slightly. Marron slipped his arms around Gateau's neck, wondering if he'd fall asleep there...

 

"Gateau, if you want to fall asleep on my chest, I don't mind, but... I do have homework to do, if not now, then in the morning..."

 

"Mmmnh... I don't wanna move. Let's just stay like this for a little longer...?"

 

"... of course."

 

By this point, Marron had all but forgotten the events of earlier; the feeling he'd felt when he'd been in the crowd of people, the feelings he couldn't explain in class... he certainly didn't remember the sudden frightening recollections he'd had of... whatever they'd been of. He was too happy in Gateau's embrace to worry about that boy from earlier. He wouldn't remember him until the next day at college.

 

In the morning, Marron had his homework done, he was ready for college... Gateau remembered that Marron had seemed ill yesterday... that'd passed, but he still wanted to make sure, so he asked Marron if Marron wanted to stay home and have Gateau look after him... Marron said he liked the idea, but college was college and despite the time of year, there were still classes to attend, there was still homework to do, still deadlines... Gateau laughed, "Okay, okay, I get it, I get it."

 

The two of them walked to school; the snow seemed more of a constant now, it was snowing as they walked to school, it'd snow as they walked home from school. The schoolday was a usual one... lessons in the morning, breaktime, lesson before lunch, lunchtime, lessons after lunch... nothing unusual. Breaktime and lunchtime was spent with Gateau, spent in conversation, spent relaxing... Marron didn't even think of the boy from before during those times. It was only on the way from fourth lesson to fifth lesson, Marron remembered; he remembered because... he saw... him...

 

The feeling wasn't as powerful today, but it brought recollection of how powerful his feelings had been, and it worried him. Marron remembered how intense those feelings had been... he couldn't remember the feelings themselves, he couldn't remember exactly what it was that he'd thought, but he remembered that he'd thought... something... and he realised now; he must have seen that boy in the crowd of people yesterday. It was that boy that'd induced those feelings then, it was seeing that boy that induced those feelings when he'd been in the medical room. Marron was worried because he didn't understand these feelings, but... definitely, it was something to do with this boy. Somehow, for some reason, this boy was triggering off... some kind of feeling within Marron. It worried him even more that he didn't know what those feelings were... a feeling of... wanting to be close to this boy? Wanting to be near to him? Wanting to love him? Wanting to feel his love back? As Marron considered this in class, his worry grew. Last night had been wonderful, last night had been him and Gateau... that was the one thing that Marron was sure of. Gateau loved Marron, and he loved Gateau back. That was a constant, that was the thing Marron was sure of more than anything else, more than college, more than work, more than anything, he was sure of Gateau. And if Gateau loved him so much, and he was sure that he loved Gateau back, then what was he doing with thoughts like this running through his head?! The thought that, perhaps... there was someone else he loved? Someone else he wanted to love? No! No, that couldn't be... Marron thought of Gateau as he worked. He thought of Gateau, how Gateau was... he thought of when they'd walked home, he thought of how safe he'd felt in Gateau's arms... he thought of the feelings he felt when they couldn't take it any longer, and they just had to lose themselves in each other's arms... sex with Gateau was an absence of normal thought like nothing else, like so much else with Gateau, he'd been unsure at first, but... now that he and Gateau were so sure of their relationship, Marron felt nothing against losing himself totally in Gateau's arms, letting the feelings grow inside him, letting them take over... knowing nothing but the feeling of Gateau's body against his own, the feeling of Gateau's arms around him, Gateau's kisses on his body, the feeling of Gateau on him, inside him, around him, surrounding him, taking him, the loss of feeling that was letting himself be taken... in those moments, there was nothing else. Just Marron and Gateau. Those moments when Marron was far enough taken to almost scream Gateau's name... it was like now, but without conscious thought. During that time, there was just he and Gateau and Gateau's love for him... his love for Gateau... the knowledge that they trusted each other so implicitly enough to bring on such power within Marron... how... how could Marron even THINK of loving anyone other than Gateau?

 

Marron gently tapped his pencil on his desk as he tried to balance him trying to work out the problem on the sheet in front of him alongside him trying to work out his feelings. It angered him, almost. Gateau loved him, he loved Gateau, what was there to work out? Marron sighed; it did anger him. How could he be on the brink of questioning such feelings he was so sure of? How could he even think about doing that... was it because of that boy? Had that boy brought this on? He didn't even know the other boy's name... he'd barely had a good look at him, even. He'd heard his voice, but only a sentence. The boy was... compared to Gateau, the boy was nothing to Marron. How could he be anything more? There'd been absolutely no interaction whatsoever... Marron didn't even know why he was thinking of the boy at that moment. He didn't know why the boy haunted his thoughts so much. A name... did he even know the boy's name? Marron thought back to the time in the medical room. He tried to remember, but he didn't remember much from that time... certainly not a name to call that boy by.

 

The teacher asked Marron a question, and Marron did his best to answer; he eventually answered the question, but it annoyed him that he'd almost been caught out like that... he made a resolve to himself. No matter how hard it was, he wanted to put all thoughts of that boy to the back of his mind. Maybe he could just forget about him... there wasn't anything there, it was totally irrational... perhaps forgetting about him would be the best thing.

 

School ended for the day, Gateau and Marron walked home. It snowed, but the day didn't seem as special as the one before it; Marron found that, the more he tried to put thoughts of that boy out of his mind, the more the thoughts seemed to spring up. Even with Gateau, he couldn't stop thinking of the boy, and that was worrying in itself; normally, the thought of being with Gateau was enough to push anything else out of the way... Gateau seemed to notice that Marron was a bit preoccupied.

 

"Marron, you okay?"

 

"Uh? Oh, um... yes, I'm alright. Why?"

"You seemed kinda distant, lost in thought or something. Whatcha thinkin' about?"

 

Marron stared ahead for a moment, trying to work out what to tell Gateau; he couldn't tell Gateau the truth, it seemed so stupid, and... the fact that he was thinking so intensely, thinking like that about someone that wasn't Gateau... Marron was almost certain that Gateau'd feel hurt. Marron didn't want to hurt Gateau... he just sighed.

 

"I... I don't know. I just feel a bit distant."

 

"Oh, okay."

 

Gateau seemed genuinely satisfied with Marron's answer. Marron was a little amazed by this, but glad that Gateau hadn't pressed the subject too much.

 

Not much else was said on the way home, and not much else was said once the two were in the apartment, either. Somehow, Marron just couldn't think of anything to say, almost. He wanted to talk to Gateau as Gateau was talking to him, he wanted to respond as easily back to Gateau as Gateau did to him, but... somehow, he just couldn't.

 

Marron wondered if a shower would help. He told Gateau he was going for a shower, Gateau agreed, sitting in front of the television, watching the news.

 

Marron debated locking the bathroom door, but decided against it... Gateau might only worry more if he went to tell Marron something and found the door locked. Marron felt like there was already a door locked between he and Gateau, a door locked in his mind... Gateau seemed easygoing enough so far, he didn't know if he'd suspected anything... Marron didn't want Gateau to suspect, Marron didn't want Gateau to worry... Marron didn't want him to suspect his strange feelings.

 

The shower was started, warm water raining down on Marron's naked body. He swept over his body with a lathered sponge... still remembering times in the past, remembering how Gateau's hands felt on him, Gateau's hands, Gateau's body... Gateau...

 

Marron wondered if he should have been surprised when Gateau walked into the bathroom, wearing nothing but a smirk, and stepped into the shower alongside Marron. Probably. He wasn't, though. Not really. Something like that... something like that was a typical Gateau kind of thing to do. Marron just asked Gateau what he was doing; Gateau didn't seem to notice the... almost the cold tone in Marron's voice... he just smiled, those hands over Marron's body again, "You've been distant and stuff all afternoon, preoccupied with something... I wanna take yer mind off whatever it is you're worrying about, is that so much to ask? It's gotta be something bad where you won't even talk about it."

 

There was something undeniably exciting about being so suddenly taken against the shower wall, something exciting about Gateau's groans being echoed by the neverending rain of the shower, something exciting about how it was all Marron could do to just be held there and be taken... his hands tried to grip the shower wall, but there was nothing to hold onto, the water and steam just served to make the surface less stable than it usually would be... Marron couldn't do anything except give himself to Gateau. Gateau's plan seemed to work, it did seem to take Marron's mind off of whatever it was he'd been thinking about. Marron didn't know what he felt... the situation was different, and Gateau wondered why he'd never had Marron in the shower before. Marron was too busy burning with conflicting feelings to think about things so mundane as that... Gateau's name seemed almost alien to his lips, that name sounded almost painful, it felt almost painful as it ripped itself from his throat... Marron rarely showed quite that depth of emotion, not even during sex, but that time, he did scream Gateau's name. A sudden feral scream as he came, desperate for something to hold onto as his orgasm tore itself from his body... there was nothing to hold onto, though. Gateau held onto him tightly, so tightly, Marron wanted to hold onto Gateau, but Gateau's position behind him made that impossible. Suddenly deeper, suddenly harder, the burning within him... Marron's helpless climax tipped Gateau off, the burning inside Marron became that bit more intense as Gateau's burning joined with his own. Marron's scream almost frightened Gateau; Gateau called Marron's name, shouted it almost as per usual, but... Marron never screamed like that. He'd cried Gateau's name, he'd yelled it, he'd half-screamed it, but... never had it been quite that passionate. Never had it been quite that... almost bestial. Almost, Gateau thought, like... Marron was losing his mind, or something... of course, it just brought Gateau a type of pride, knowing he'd brought Marron to that intense a climax.

 

Marron fell from Gateau's arms, falling to his knees in the shower, panting and gasping uncontrollably as he tried to bring some kind of order back to his mind. Gateau tried helping Marron up, but Marron didn't seem to want to comply with this gesture... Gateau pulled Marron up, holding him close.

 

"Hey, Marron, are you okay now?"

 

Gateau turned the shower down a notch or two, preventing the hard water from attacking the two so much. Marron's eyes were closed... Gateau jogged Marron in his arms a little, "Marron?"

 

Marron's eyes opened; he looked... almost weak... he nodded.

 

"Y-yes... I'm sorry if I worried you... I'm sorry I can't tell you what I'm feeling..."

 

"No, I mean, are you okay now? That was... you were really gone for a moment there!!" Gateau sounded slightly awe-struck. Marron just blinked at Gateau... water hit him, water dripped down him, water slipped it's way around his body... and the only thing holding Marron up was Gateau's arms, but... Marron didn't think even for a second that he was going to fall. Marron sighed deeply, then attempted a smile.

 

"I like to be able to lose myself in your arms, Gateau."

 

"There's really gotta be something you wanna forget about if you wanna lose yerself that much... oh well, I guess you have homework or something to do now?"

 

Marron nodded, letting himself be pulled out of the shower. He shakingly put a foot to the floor, leaning his weight onto that foot. Gateau helped him as he stepped out, and passed him a towel. The two dried each other off, Marron fought back a yawn as he towelled his hair down. Gateau passed him a brush, "Don't want it getting tangled."

 

That night, Marron had fallen asleep easily enough, but Gateau couldn't quite sleep. Marron looked calm enough as he slept, but... Gateau remembered how he'd been on the way home... how Marron had seemed so distant... and how he'd been in the shower... Gateau almost shuddered. He'd never seen Marron quite like that, and tied with his mood from before, it was starting to worry Gateau. If Marron had just been preoccupied, then Gateau might not have worried. Even if Marron had just been that far gone, then he might not have worried. But Gateau had a feeling that Marron's quietness from day to day life and his loudness in the shower were connected... was there something Marron was hiding? Marron never hid things from Gateau, Gateau never hid things from Marron... there were never things that needed hiding from each other... Gateau wondered if they'd ever hid things from each other... well, there was that whole thing where Gateau'd called Marron's name that time ago, but that was ancient history. And there was the whole thing with that fight that Marron had attempted to hide, but... that'd been a hard thing to hide, and that'd come out eventually. If Marron had something to hide, and he was hiding it from Gateau, then it had to be something... worth hiding... Gateau quietly worried as he wondered just what Marron would want to hide from Gateau. Gateau didn't feel that Marron was the type to hop off and have random affairs, though if that happened, Marron might be worried about it... Gateau sighed, hoped it wasn't that, and hoped it'd keep until the weekend. If he was going to try and get something out of Marron, then it should wait until he had time to even attempt that... schooldays weren't the kind of day to do that kind of thing. Then Gateau slept.

 

While Gateau worried about Marron, Marron spent his time worrying about himself. He'd hoped that the thoughts and feelings would eventually go away, but... they didn't. He found himself glancing around in crowded areas of college, hoping he might see that boy, wondering what he'd do if he did... it still made him angry that he could even think of someone else when he should be thinking of Gateau, but trying to stop himself thinking of that person was impossible.

 

After a while, Gateau almost wished that the uncontrollable Marron from that time in the shower would come back. He didn't like to think it at first - he wrote his feelings off, Marron was just having a bad day, Marron wasn't in the mood but didn't want to say no to Gateau... no, Gateau had the feeling that, should Marron not be in the mood for sex, he'd say no. Gateau often tried gentle persuasion that led to rampant horniness, but... he liked to think that Marron'd say no if he really wanted to say no. On that count... Marron just... didn't seem as into it anymore. The two of them were sat quietly watching television as the thought occurred to Gateau... it took a second to think of, but once he thought of it, he couldn't dispel the thought from his mind. Marron looked normal enough, quietly attentive to the television, occasionally sipping from a mug of steaming tea to his side... it was a usual activity, but Gateau realised, with a leaden feeling within him, that this was how he felt; Marron just hadn't seemed... it wasn't that he wasn't active during sex, Marron was reasonably active, the yielding, the gasping, the moaning, the touching, the clasps, the gripping onto Gateau's back... but there was... almost something missing. Something Gateau couldn't quite put his finger on... Gateau turned his attention from the television, watching Marron with some suspicion, wondering just what it was he was feeling.

 

Gateau hadn't said anything to Marron that night; he'd sat against Marron in bed, Marron had looked at him with kind eyes, "Tonight... you don't want to?", climbing onto his chest... yes, Marron was still active. Gateau had smiled back, he couldn't resist that smile, "I want to if you want to"... Marron had wanted to, but Gateau couldn't help but feel... Marron seemed to be holding back. Gateau wasn't expecting Marron to turn into a screaming orgasmic being like that time before, but he seemed... quiet. Almost... too quiet. Not everyone was noisy during sex, Gateau understood that, but he liked to think that he was generally used to Marron's bedside manner, had something happened to make him change? What would make someone change like that? Yes... Marron was holding back.

 

Gateau realised what was amiss as he held Marron close, feelings building up inside of him... he gasped Marron's name, unconsciously expecting to hear his own name gasped back... he didn't. Marron sounded breathless enough, "Yess" and "ohhh" and "god..." but no "Gateau..."... Gateau pulled Marron to him with tight fingers, gasping Marron's name with his release; he didn't sound as exuberant as he usually did, but... somehow, he couldn't quite bring himself to give himself to Marron if Marron wasn't willing to give himself back... sex was sex, but if there wasn't some connection there, then...

 

Gateau felt even more confused as the two of them slept that night.

 

It didn't stop there.

 

The optimistic part inside Gateau hoped that perhaps those times before were just... yeah, he'd caught Marron on a bad day, or something. He left it a few days, sleeping before Marron came into the room... sometimes he'd feel Marron pushing at his arm, but he wouldn't respond. He wanted to lay off the sex for a couple of days, but he didn't know how exactly he should say that to Marron... Marron seemed to accept the enforced celibacy with no questioning, and the days were usual enough.

 

Marron seemed to notice that Gateau was hardly himself, though. He'd ask Gateau if there was something wrong... Gateau'd say "No, no, nothing's wrong... what about you?"... Marron'd be a little confused, but he didn't say there was anything wrong either.

 

Gateau noticed, with a feeling of hopelessness, that they'd ended up hiding things - hiding themselves? - from each other. Marron was hiding whatever it was he was hiding, and Gateau was hiding his worry on whatever Marron was feeling.

 

The days advanced, and Gateau's thoughts of no sex melted away; the two of them ended up having sex several times, and it displeased Gateau that his theory was proved wrong; even after almost a week, Marron didn't seem to have changed... or he had changed, changed into something that Gateau wasn't sure he liked.

 

Things eventually came to a head on the weekend before the end of the college term.

 

The two of them sat in the front room, watching television, drinking hot drinks... the snow fell outside, it wasn't an unusual day. Gateau wasn't sure what'd made Marron bring the subject up in the first place, the only thing that mattered was that he had, and, after however long it'd been that Gateau'd been worrying, it shocked him somewhat.

 

"Gateau... this might sound strange, but... recently... you've almost... been cold to me... it's probably me noticing things that aren't there, but... I just felt I had to mention something..."

 

Gateau stopped in mid-drink.

 

Marron dared to call him cold?! Gateau was totally thrown for a moment, setting his mug down, trying to say what he'd thought without sounding angry.

 

"Marron, you... you're saying that I'M acting cold?! God, you're confusing me... Marron, the last week or so... you're the one who's been cold, not me! I... you never say anything, but there's just something wrong, I can tell! I almost don't wanna ask... if you're hiding something from me... do I even wanna know what type of thing it is that you'd hide from me?"

 

Marron just glanced at Gateau, wide-eyed... Gateau reached to the television, switching it off. He sighed, a heavy sigh. "I guess this was coming for a while... you gonna say anything, or what?" He sat back down.

Marron set his own drink aside.

 

"Gateau... I... I won't deny, there's been something... happening."

 

"With someone else?" Gateau suggested it before he realised the implications of what he was suggesting; Marron didn't realise the implications of his reaction either.

 

"In a way, I-"

 

Gateau stood up silently. Marron looked up at him, "G-Gateau!"... Gateau walked over to Marron, standing in front of him, looking at him with a sad, distanced look.

 

"I should have... I... it was someone else, right? I... I knew I wasn't good enough for you. Who... was it? Who is it? Is it... another girl? That chick with the purple hair? Her friend with the glasses? I... I shoulda known our happiness wouldn't last forever."

 

Marron looked up, disbelieving.

 

"Gateau, are you saying-"

 

"You've got another lover, right? That's why you've been acting all distanced and crap with me. Right?"

 

"Gateau, no! Why would I want anyone else when I've got you?!"

 

Gateau frowned, confused. What was Marron trying to say?

 

"M-Marron, what... what're you saying, then?"

 

"Just... let me speak, Gateau. Didn't I say that I loved you? I wouldn't say something like that without meaning it, and I certainly wouldn't squander that by risking it by having that kind of relationship with someone else... Gateau, I couldn't have that kind of relationship with someone else... you're the person I love."

 

Gateau just watched Marron, relief settling over him somewhat. "Marron, I'm glad... but... if that's... if that's how you feel, then... what do you mean when... it's someone else? Something happening with someone else?"

 

"It's my own feelings, I... Gateau, I... I say this, and... I don't want you to think that I think any less of you. I don't want you to think that I don't love you, in case that's how it sounds... please, just listen to me, and remember that... I love you, I always want to love you... just because of what I say... doesn't mean that I love you any less. I only want you, Gateau..."

 

Gateau sighed, closing his eyes.

 

"Marron, just say it... sounds like you're scared of getting to the point."

 

"Perhaps I am."

 

There was silence in the apartment for a moment. Marron just glanced silently ahead of him, not seeming to be willing to say anything... Gateau reached over and got his mug from beside where he'd been sitting, "While you decide what you wanna say, I'll get another coffee... Marron, I'm getting a bad feeling. I... I don't want to stop loving you... I can't work out what you wanna say, I'm happy you weren't off with someone else, but... I'm scared. Sorry, but I am. Just... you decide what you wanna say."

 

Marron sighed quietly, resting his head on caged hands. How to express the confused emotions inside him... was there even a way to explain them to Gateau in a way that he'd understand? Could Gateau understand the way Marron felt?

 

Gateau seemed to be taking his time in the kitchen; Marron got up, walking over to the kitchen, then decided there was no other way to describe it other than the truth.

 

"Gateau... there's... physically... no-one else. H-However... around college... there's someone... when I see them, I feel... something... I can't describe it. It's like I should remember that person, there's feelings and thoughts attached to that person within me, but... the person.... the person isn't someone that I know. I can't have seen him more than a few times, but whenever I see them, I have that feeling... I want... almost like... I want to protect them, I want to make sure that they're never in danger... I don't know what kind of person that person is, I don't know who they are... I just... I have this overwhelming feeling sometimes... when you came to find me in the medical room that time, that was why I was there... that time, going to lessons... that was when I first saw him. In that lesson, I just couldn't concentrate... even other people noticed that I couldn't concentrate. I... I don't understand my feelings... you're the person I love, I shouldn't think of anyone else, should I? I don't know if it's love, but... the feeling of wanting to be close to that person, the feeling of wanting that person... sometimes more than anything else... is that a kind of love? I don't understand it, and it scares me... it makes no sense. I don't even know that person, but still... I... I just... I don't know how I feel. That person should be important to me, the feelings move me so much... I need to protect... that person... but I don't even know who they are. I try to put thoughts of that person to the back of my mind, but the more I try to escape those thoughts, the more they grow and multiply within me... every day..."

 

"... that feeling..."

 

Marron just looked at Gateau. Gateau had been respectfully silent as Marron spoke, letting him say what he felt needed to be said... other than those two words, Gateau said nothing himself.

 

The kettle boiled. Gateau didn't seem to notice. The silence seemed oppressive.

 

"Gateau... the kettle boiled..."

 

Marron just stood by the door, worried by Gateau's lack of reaction. Gateau was standing over the sink, a usual waiting-for-the-kettle-to-boil position... something about his body language seemed... broken, though.

 

Eventually, a quiet voice reached Marron's ears. Broken, like Gateau's body language.

 

"... I don't care..."

 

"Ga... teau? He sounds... almost like he's near tears?"

 

Gateau suddenly turned around. Marron looked up at him, but Gateau was avoiding Marron's line of sight... Gateau didn't want to look at Marron... Marron frowned, looking worried. What did that mean, if Gateau didn't even want to look at him? He had to remember... no matter what, Marron loved Gateau, he'd told him that... Gateau... had to remember that...

 

Gateau said nothing as he approached Marron... the empty look in Gateau's eyes hurt Marron almost as much as the confusion over his feelings did. He hadn't wanted to hurt Gateau, but... he didn't seem to have managed that. Gateau looked hurt, and it hurt Marron that Gateau looked hurt... looked so empty...

 

Gateau's hands went to Marron's shoulders; Marron didn't know what Gateau was trying to do, so he started to walk backwards; walking backwards eventually led to him standing against one of the sofa arms. He almost fell against the half-surface, he tried to steady himself, but Gateau's position against him was difficult... he ended up slipping to the floor as opposed to falling. Gateau watched, looking almost emotionless... Marron looked up at him.

 

"Gateau, what...?"

 

Marron didn't even know what he wanted to say. What was Gateau doing? What did Gateau want? What was Gateau thinking? Marron was quietened by Gateau's hand around his neck, pushing it to the floor; he shifted around on the floor so that his position against the sofa wasn't so uncomfortable. Marron looked around him, worried by Gateau's motions... he hadn't said anything... Gateau dropped to a kind of kneel, his legs on either side of Marron's legs... Gateau's legs pinned his legs down, and Gateau's arm pinned his top half down. Marron's hands went instinctively to Gateau's arm; Marron felt a rush in his chest as Gateau's hand went to his chest, slowly running down it, reaching the edge of Marron's trousers... dull realisation hit Marron like a thunderbolt, he pushed at Gateau's hand, enough to free his neck.

 

"Gateau..."

 

Gateau's hand went to Marron's arm, holding that down instead.

 

"... Please, Gateau... no... not if you're angry... please... I don't need to plead to him, surely? But what is it that's going through his mind..."

 

Gateau seemed to realise his position, and suddenly, to Marron's surprise, the tears started. A gasp as Gateau realised what he was implying with his position and his movements... he fell against Marron, gripping Marron's shirt with his hands, pressing his head to it, letting his tears dampen Marron's shirt.

 

Marron put a hand to the back of Gateau's head, stroking Gateau's hair.

 

"Gateau!"

 

"I... I'm not angry... I just... oh god, Marron, don't... think anything of... I couldn't have... but for us to even be here like this... oh, jesus... I... I'm not angry, I just... I just wish I had your mind with me as well as your body! And those feelings you have for that person, whoever that person is..."

 

"Gateau, I still love you, no matter what, I still love you, don't forget that..."

 

Gateau sat up slightly, looking at Marron with tearstained eyes.

 

"Marron... those feelings you're having for that person... the feeling that you... the feeling, is it that... you feel like you know the person? It makes no sense to you, but you just feel that you know them... you want them to know you, you want to know that person... you feel that... a part of you is missing, because you don't know that person? You feel like your life won't be complete until you know that person... and all you can feel is an overwhelming feeling to want that person... you don't know why, but you feel... almost like it's destiny or something stupid like that... like it was just... meant to be..."

 

Marron blinked at the ceiling.

 

"Gateau, that's almost the feeling exactly, how did you-"

 

The intensity of Gateau's tears seemed to increase, as did Gateau's hold on Marron's shirt.

 

"Marron, those are the feelings I had when I first saw YOU... the feeling that I knew you from someplace... wanting to be near you, wanting to know you, wanting to protect you... those are the feelings I had for YOU, and you're... having the exact same feelings for someone else... how can... oh, god... if the feelings I had for you are the feelings you have for this other person... Marron, how can you stand to say you love me? If it's enough to make you change this much, how can you even stand to want to be close to me? There's someone else out there you love... and I can't help that. I can't help it if you don't love me anymore."

 

Marron pushed Gateau from him; Gateau dumbly sat up... the two of them looked at each other, tearstains down Gateau's cheeks, Gateau vaguely surprised to see Marron's eyes shimmering with tears... but there was... anger on his face? When Marron slapped Gateau, he mentally nodded to himself, yes, that was anger on Marron's face. He slowly put a hand to where Marron had slapped him, while Marron threw his arms around Gateau, tears suddenly running down his face too.

 

"Gateau, don't even suggest that, don't even suggest it! Gateau, how many times do I have to say it... you're the person I love, I can't love anyone else... that person... how can I love them? I don't know them, I've never spoken to them..."

 

"How did I know I loved you when I'd never even spoken to you? I don't know. Same reason."

 

"Gateau, I don't WANT to stop loving you... just because there's someone out there who's causing the most confusing feelings within me... because of that... am I supposed to just... stop loving you? I don't want to stop loving you... I don't want to... I don't care who that person is... even if they're someone I'm destined to be with, I... I don't care, I'll fight destiny, I... Gateau... I want to be with you... you are the person I love... Gateau, I love you... I love you!"

 

Marron became increasingly more tearful as he spoke. After his outburst, neither Gateau nor Marron could think of anything to say to each other... Gateau just leant his head back against Marron's chest, letting Marron hold his head... he sighed, wanting to rid himself of the raging pain within him.

 

"... I wish I knew what to say. Really wish I knew what to say."

 

"There shouldn't be anything to say... I still love you. Nothing's changed..."

 

"Marron, everything's changed. You say you love me, but... there's also this other person... when I hold you and make love to you and have you with me... can I be sure... is it you, or just some... shell of you, dreaming of that other person? How... can things be the same?"

 

Marron didn't have anything to say to that. This time, he cried. Gateau sat up, helping Marron up... Marron cried against Gateau's chest, Gateau just held him. There really wasn't anything to say; both knew that something had changed between the two of them... it'd changed when Marron had first noticed that boy across the crowded corridors of the college that afternoon.

 

Gateau didn't want to say the one thing that he felt he wanted to say... Marron had... tried to say what he felt, and even if Gateau felt hurt, even if Marron felt confused... Gateau didn't want to confuse him further. Gateau didn't want to ask Marron if the person in question was a boy of about seventeen, a boy with slightly tanned skin, with messed-up black hair that seemed to fall over his eyes... a boy with wide, innocent-looking brown eyes... Gateau didn't want to even suggest to Marron that this was someone he'd seen... and felt that he knew too. His feelings weren't as intense as Marron said that his were, but... there was a recognition there. Gateau didn't know what it meant, and he didn't want to confuse Marron any further... as Marron cried in his arms, he cried a few tears of his own, resting his head on top of Marron's head...

 

The knock at the door didn't seem to register on either Marron or Gateau for a good couple of minutes. The person, whoever it was, seemed determined... Gateau sighed, slowly pulling himself up, using the sofa to steady himself. "I should... check who that is."

 

Marron just nodded, pulling himself to a sitting position against the sofa. As Gateau went to open the door, Marron decided to just sit on the sofa... he was slightly amazed to note that his legs were shaking as he stood up... it felt refreshing to sit back down again.

 

Gateau returned after a few moments; Marron was about to ask "Who was at the door?", but the fact that Gateau was accompanied by someone answered Marron's question immediately.

 

Marron just looked at the woman. She looked... middle aged, perhaps? Marron wasn't sure. She looked like a businesswoman, but again, Marron wasn't sure... despite having never seen her before, Marron felt... some kind of kindness coming from her. He felt he could trust her.

 

Gateau motioned to the seats and the sofa. "Um, take a seat..."

 

The woman nodded, taking one of the seats to the side of the sofa. Gateau joined Marron on the sofa; the woman smiled.

 

"Gateau... Marron... the two of you are... happy, aren't you?"

 

"Y-yeah... pretty much..."

 

"Both of you've been crying, I can tell. Marron... you... feel that there's someone other than Gateau, don't you? Someone else that you know... someone that should be special to you, but you don't know why..."

 

Marron looked shocked.

 

"H-How...?"

 

"Gateau. The feelings that Marron is having for this person cause you pain, don't they? Not just because of what it means to your relationship... but also because... you know who Marron's talking about, don't you? Someone you've seen that you feel you know... not such intense feelings as what Marron feels, but... there's still something there. Am I wrong?"

 

Marron looked at Gateau, shocked. Gateau didn't look at Marron; he was too busy looking at Big Mama, shocked, amazed. He just blinked, unable to speak for a few moments.

 

"How did you... know?"

 

"Gateau, you had feelings like that too?"

 

Big Mama just smiled at the two of them. "Perhaps I was too early... Gateau, I do assume you were going to tell Marron of your feelings, right?"

 

"I... I didn't know if I should, he... seemed so confused, I didn't want to confuse him further... but how do you know that it's the same person? We don't even know his name!"

 

"It's a situation larger than the two of you, larger than... well. You two aren't the only people to have your heart touched by that person... he's waiting for you. Waiting for both of you... you should go and meet him."

 

Gateau and Marron did look at each other; they looked back at Big Mama, speaking almost as one.

 

"Waiting... for us?"

 

"Yes. On the other side of the bridge over the road near the center of town, there's an area where there's christmas trees and benches... do you know where I mean?" Marron and Gateau nodded. Big Mama smiled, nodding back at them. "... You'll find him somewhere around there."

 

She stood up. "We'll meet each other again soon."

 

Gateau and Marron stood up, accompanying Big Mama to the front door. Gateau held the door open for her, pausing before she left.

 

"What's your name? Who... who are you? How come you knew about... that?"

 

"You'll..." She smiled, slightly sadly. "You'll know in time, but by that time, it'll be too late... both of you, just trust me. Go to the center of town... you'll find the person you're looking for."

 

With that, she left.

 

Marron and Gateau just stood there, amazed. They glanced at each other, Gateau being the first one to raise the obvious point.

 

"Marron, would it be stupid if I said I felt I knew her from somewhere too?"

 

"I was about to ask you the exact same thing, Gateau. She said to trust her... can we trust her?"

 

Gateau nodded. "Yeah, I think so... there was something... kinda comforting about her, wasn't there? Like a mother or something. We don't have anything to lose, do we? Might as well go to where she said... that's the station, isn't it?"

 

Marron was already getting his and Gateau's jackets off of the coat rail next to the front door. He passed Gateau his coat, putting his own on. Gateau helped him put his coat on, then put his own on. He shut the front door, letting Marron go in front.

 

"Ya gotta admit, it's weird, though... I mean... how can she have known? How'd she know our names? I didn't say who we were or anything... and it's weird how she just happened to turn up then, ya know?"

 

"I agree... that makes me believe her more, somehow. She knew the right moment to appear in front of us, she knew who we were, she knew of the situation... and also, the feeling that we both knew her... whatever it leads to, I want to believe her."

 

The two of them walked down the stairs that ran along the side of the apartment block. It seemed to occur to Gateau for the first time...

 

"Marron, if we're going to meet this guy... what do you think's gonna happen? There's all those feelings you had for him, and the feelings I had for him too... that woman seemed convinced it was the same person... what if it isn't?"

 

"The person I saw was... maybe in my year... maybe older..."

 

"Tanned skin?"

 

"Black hair, brown eyes..."

 

"Jeans and a jacket?"

"Yes."

 

Gateau let out a noise of amazement, throwing his arm around Marron's shoulder. "Huh, well, looks like we didn't haveta worry. I'd seen him around college too... got some kinda feeling from him. Not strong enough to send me to the medical room, but a feeling, anyway... like I knew him. Some kinda connection there, at least. Guess it's the same person... but, Marron... what are we gonna do once we meet him? 'Hi! We think we know you! So who ARE you, anyway?'"

 

Marron was quietly in thought for a few moments.

 

"I'm not sure. I think it's best that we meet him, though... we can meet him first and let the other things come later. For that woman to even know... I don't know. There's a lot that's uncertain, but... I have a feeling... once we find that person... things might become a lot clearer."

"You think? Well, I sure hope so."

 

The two of them made their way to the station in the center of town, idly musing on the situation... they couldn't work out who that woman was, why she felt... like she did... from her appearance, perhaps she was a teacher from college the two of them had had at some point? But for that, how did she know so much about the situation? It didn't add up, Marron just assured Gateau that, whoever the woman was, he trusted her implicitly; if she made it seem like things would become clearer soon, then... perhaps they might. Gateau wasn't sure, but willing to put his trust into the woman, and willing to trust Marron's trust.

 

The two of them reached the area that Big Mama had spoken of, but didn't find anyone there; Marron still assured Gateau that he'd be there... he had to be there, the woman had said he would be... Gateau wasn't sure, but said he'd give the guy another ten minutes. The two of them waited for that ten minutes, but no-one showed up. Gateau grinned as Marron checked his wristwatch for the umpteenth time that minute.

 

"Gettin' too dependant on seeing loverboy?"

 

"Gateau, it's not like that!"

 

"Yeah, well, whatever it is... ya think the lady got it wrong? Maybe she meant another park or something like that. Ya think he's gonna be here? I mean, think about it. Unless she's going round the town rounding people up, how do we know he's even gonna be here at all?"

 

"But she seemed so sure..."

 

"Okay, if it's makin' you so edgy, we can give it another ten minutes... if no-one shows after that, I wanna go for a drink or something, while we're out. Okay?"

 

"Well... I suppose..."

 

Marron was indeed edgy, but to his displeasure, no-one showed... still he glanced at his watch. Gateau put his arms to Marron's shoulders, pushing him back in the direction of the road and the bridge.

 

"C'mon, Marron. He's not gonna show, okay? I'm thirsty."

 

Marron seemed quietly disillusioned as the two of them started the fateful journey over the bridge.

 

"She said that he'd be there, though..."

 

"Just where do we have to go to meet him?"

 

Marron sighed, "He must be nearby."

 

Gateau just glanced down at Marron, wondering how determined Marron was... Gateau idly wondered if this'd turn into a town-wide search. With an inner smile, he decided he wouldn't be surprised if it did.

 

At that moment, Marron and Gateau walked past two other figures; nothing dawned on them at first, but after just the first glance out of the corner of their eyes... suddenly, those feelings of familiarity, those feelings of recognition hit home again, suddenly strong, suddenly powerful... Marron and Gateau turned to face the two girls, who'd done the same; the world seemed to freeze around the four of them as they noticed each other... one of the girls had dropped the present she'd been carrying. Marron picked it up and handed it back to her; a kind of similar feeling descended around the group... they smiled at each other.

 

The girl who'd dropped the present, Chocolat, smiled as she took the present back, "Thank you!"

 

Her sister, a girl with large glasses standing next to Chocolat, smiled slightly shyly.

 

"Are you... by any chance... looking for someone?"

 

It felt natural, so natural. Marron smiled, his voice soft. "You two as well?"

 

Tira nodded, "Yes!"

 

The four of them smiled at each other for a few moments longer, realising that there was a connection... the person Marron had feelings for, the person Gateau had seen... Tira and Chocolat, somehow, they just knew of the situation... there was no animosity, despite the fact that the group looking for the person had suddenly doubled.

 

Gateau looked a little distant, glancing up at a nearby christmas tree as he spoke.

 

"I just can't remember who, though... he was..."

 

Marron glanced at Gateau, wondering if Gateau would be able to remember... that person... that name... that title... who was he?

 

Tira echoed Gateau's words. "He was...."

 

Chocolat looked at her sister; Tira was looking upwards, thinking. She tried to spur her sister on, "Who?"

 

Marron was deep in thought. That person... those feelings... these people knew of that person. Did they have the feelings too? The feelings that were so strong... a sudden memory of the medical room hit Marron; at that time... had he remembered? Had he remembered and... said... his name? The name of the person? Had he remembered? He couldn't remember now, though.

 

"Who is he...?"

 

Gateau looked at Marron, sympathetic. "He is..."

 

He was someone fighting for his life in another time and another life, still. Carrot Glacé was getting more than desperate; the situation seemed so hopeless, but he was so determined... his voice seemed to carry across dimensions, as if he was speaking to the four gathered on the bridge directly; they heard him.

 

"I won't lose! I won't lose! Gateau, for you I will live if it kills me!!"

 

Something seemed to suddenly snap in Gateau's mind; he heard Carrot's voice, it touched his mind, it touched his heart, suddenly he remembered...

 

"He's... yeah, he's an idiot and a fool!!

 

Carrot spoke to Marron next.

 

"Marron, for you I won't become Hakaishin!!"

 

Suddenly, to Marron, it all became clear. That was the voice he'd heard... that was the voice that'd spoken at the medical room... that was the person he'd seen around the college... that was the person who he'd felt such intense feelings for... that was the person. That was his brother.

 

"He is... my brother!! He is my one and only brother... I'm sure of it!!"

 

Gateau looked at Marron, surprised. The look of calm realization on Marron's face... yes, it was, wasn't it? It all suddenly made sense... someone Marron wanted to know, someone Marron wanted to protect, someone Marron wanted to love... his brother. Of course.

 

Tira and Chocolat looked at each other, then at Marron and Gateau. They seemed shocked; they'd heard the voice too. Tira's voice seemed... almost shaken...

 

"That person... he spoke... to you, didn't he?"

 

"Tira, that person... he's... he's most definitely someone special... isn't he?"

 

"Oneesama, I never thought he was anything else... but who... who is he?"

 

From the other side of whatever gulf separated Carrot from the other four, his voice spoke, two words, only two words, but two words that managed to trigger off the final turn of events, the turn of events that would rip Marron, Gateau, Chocolat and Tira from that world forever. They were the only four that noticed; after Carrot's "Tira! Chocolat!" and their answers of "Carrot!" and "Darling!" as they realised just who it was who that person was, something seemed to click between dimensions; Tira and Chocolat disappeared from that world, and with a "C-Carrot..." and a "Niisan...", Gateau and Marron did too.

 

In town, in one of the houses, the girl with blonde hair was visiting her friend with the purple hair. She'd been glancing out of the window when she'd almost seen... a flash? A flicker? She turned to her friend.

 

"Hey, did you see that?"

 

The purplehaired girl looked up from the computer game she'd been playing. "Huh?"

 

"Something just happened... I'm... kinda sure..."

 

"Something happened? Like what?"

 

"I don't know... I thought I saw a light or something, from the station direction, sort of... but not really... just a light, or a flash, or something..."

 

The other girl shrugged. "Probably people playing around with fireworks or something. Or some christmas thing going on around there, I dunno, just come back down and watch what I can do to kick your ass on this thing, I just learnt a whole load of new moves!!"

 

The blonde girl looked out of the window one more time, glancing around, then sat down next to her friend.

 

"Oh, I'm sure you have. Oh, thinking of christmas... did you get christmas presents for..."

 

The girl fell into silence. Her friend looked at her.

 

"Presents for...?"

 

"I... I don't know..."

 

On the table behind them, presents for Marron and Gateau from the both of them sat; they were un-labelled, and they'd be found later and looked at with some degree of confusion. Marron and Gateau had stopped existing in that world; their memories of that world would fade, and memories of them in the other world ceased to exist the moment Carrot called to them from the Spooner Continent.