Sorcerer Hunters Fan Fiction ❯ Henny-Mocha ❯ Chapter 1
When Gateau Mocha and Co. are forced to perform the children's story "Henny-Penny" nothing more could possibly go wrong.
Anime/Manga: Sorcerer Hunters Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 07.27.2007 | Updated On: 07.27.2007 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.9K | Visits: 825 | Status: Completed
Notes: You can blame Ladybug Oblivion for this one. She mentioned something about Gateau in a chicken suit and this is what came of it.
Henny-Mocha
The Tale of the Fallen Acorn
A beautiful woman in long flowing robes enters a happy wooded glen. She beckons to the camera. "Gather 'round children! Welcome to the Cranky-sekai Town-err... the wooded glen. It's nothing too special, nothing too dull. Just your average glen in your average wood where this anime/fairytale/comedy crossover takes place. I'm Big Mama and I'll be your pretty narrator. Ha ha ha! You're Welcome!!"
A mysterious female voice booms out, "I thought I told you to leave the Trouble Chocolate referances at home?!?"
Big Mama smiles at the camera. "But you're the one who wrote it."
Silence, then, "Ack! Whatever! Just get on with it! I have to go wash the dishes sometime this century!"
Big Mama smiles again. "As I was saying, before being interrupted. One day there was a little hen... Ahem! I said there was a little hen!!!"
A man in a chicken costume is shoved into the glen. "What the hell?!" He pulls at the costume to remove it without success. The struggle with the costume leaves him in a dirty heap on the ground. "I'm not doing this, Mama!! Nuh uh!! No way!!"
Mama bonks him with a giant paper harisen all the while still wearing her smile. "One day there was a little hen-"
"At least make me a rooster!! I'm Gateau Mocha and I'm a-" Another bonk. "I'm a-" Two bonks. "I'm Henny-Penny, a cute little hen and I'm collecting acorns..." He starts picking up acorns from the ground.
"One day there was a little hen, named Henny-Penny. She was collecting acorns in a little wooded glen when suddenly-WHACK!!!"
Henny-Penny falls to the ground after being struck in the head by a large rock. Henny-Penny looks up through a haze of pain. "If I find out who threw that rock-"
"-something hits her upon the head," continues Mama, brushing some dirt off her hands. "'Goodness gracious me,' cries Henny-Penny. 'The sky's a-falling! I must go and tell the king!'" Mama glares at Gateau who has managed to get back onto his feet.
Gateau rolls his eyes. "GoodNess Gracious Me!! The sky's falling down!! I must go and tell the king!" He steps over to Mama. "Mama, the sky's falling down. You might want to do something about that." Bonk! "What now? You're the closest thing to a king we've got!!" Bonk! "I give up!"
"So Henny-Penny went to tell the king the sky's a-falling down.
"And so she went along..." Gateau started walking in a circle around the glen. "And she went along and she went along until she met Ducky-Wucky."
Another man, this time in a duck suit, enters the glen. "Hey, Marron," says Henny-Penny. Bonk!
The duck sweat-drops. "Where are you going, Henny-Penny?"
Gateau frowns. Mama glares and brandishes her harisen. "I'm going to tell the king the sky's falling down," says Henny-Penny in a defeated tone.
"May I join you?" asks Ducky-Wucky.
"Yeah, whatever," says Henny-Penny.
"So, Henny-Penny and Ducky-Wucky went to tell the king the sky's a-falling down.
"And, so they went along and they went along and they went along until they met Turkey-Murkey."
A turkey-costumed man leaps into the glen. "Woo hoo!! She said there'd be chicks!! C'mere, my goddess of barnyards!" he cried, embracing Henny-Penny.
Gateau pounds down Turkey-Murkey with one hit. "It's me, Carrot!! Control your ugly self!"
Carrot trembles, cowering. "G-g-g-gateau!! Oh, no!!" Then he turns on Mama. "Mama?!!" Bonk!! "Ouch!" Bonk bonk bonk!! "Okay, fine."
"Now, then," continues Mama, "...until they met Turkey-Murkey."
"Where are you going Gateau-" Bonk! "uh... Henny-Penny and Ducky-Wucky?"
"Oh, we're going to tell the king the sky's (a-)falling," said Henny-Penny and Ducky-Wucky, slightly out of sync.
"Can I come with?" asks Turkey-Murkey.
"Sure," said Henny-Penny while Ducky-Wucky said, "Certainly, brother."
"So Henny-Penny, Ducky-Wucky and Turkey-Murkey went to tell the king the sky's a-falling down.
"And so they went along and they went along and they went along-God, who wrote this story in the first place?-until they met Goosie-Lucie."
A red-haired woman in a graceful swan costume entered the glen.
"Tira," scolds Mama, "I said a Goosie-Lucie, not Swany-Donnie."
"Aw, but Mama, swans are part of the same family as geese."
"Fine, but I make no more exceptions. Now, continue..."
"Hello, Henny-Penny, Ducky-Wucky and Turkey-Murkey. Where are you going to?"
"Oh, we're going to tell the king the sky's (a-)falling," said Henny-Penny, Ducky-Wucky and Turkey-Murkey, even more out of sync than the last time.
"Oooh, sounds like fun. Can I come?" asks Goosie-Lucie.
"Sure," said Henny-Penny, while Ducky-Wucky said, "Certainly," and Turkey-Murkey said, "As long as you don't hurt me!"
"So Henny-Penny, Ducky-Wucky, Turkey-Murkey and Goosie-Lucie went to tell the king the sky's a-falling down.
"And so, they went along and they went along and they went along until they met Foxy-Loxie."
Another red-headed woman entered the glen. This one was dressed in a bit of red fur, that strategically covered all her juicy bits, a tail and ears. "Where are you going Henny-Penny, Ducky-Wucky, Turkey-Murkey," at this she latches herself on to Turkey-Murkey and begins purring. "Have my baby, darling!!" BONK!! "But, Mama-" BONK!! "Fine..." Foxy-Loxie continues, without removing herself from the struggling form of Turkey-Murkey, "...aaaand Goosie-Lucie?"
And so, Henny-Penny, Ducky-Wucky, Turkey-Murkey and Goosie-Lucie said to Foxy-Loxie, "We are/are going/going to tell/tell the king the sky/sky's (a-)falling/-ing down/down/down."
"Oooh," began Foxy-Loxie seductively, "but this is not the way to the king Henny-Penny... Ducky-Wucky... Grrr! Meow!" She snuggles into Turkey-Murkey. "Turkey... Murkey... and Goosie-Lucie!" She finished "Goosie-Lucie" quickly to turn back to Turkey-Murkey. "I know the proper way. Shall I... show you?" She glanced at each of the boys in turn.
"Oh, yeah!" said Henny-Penny while Ducky-Wucky said, "Certainly, ma'am," while Turkey-Murkey screeched, "SAVE ME!!!" and Goosie-Lucie scoffed, "Men!"
"So Henny-Penny, Ducky-Wucky, Turkey-Murkey (with Foxy-Loxie still attatched), Goosie-Lucie and Foxie-Loxie went to tell the king the sky's a-falling down.
"And so they went along and they went along-I am so sick of this line-and they went along until they came to a narrow dark hole. Now, this was the door to Foxy-Loxie's cave, but Foxy-Loxie said to Henny-Penny, Ducky-Wucky, Turkey-Murkey and Goosie-Lucie..."
"This is the short way to the king's castle. You'll get there if you follow me. I will go first-" Foxy-Loxie paused for a moment. "FIRST, Mama?" BONK!!
"I said you will go first, and you will go first, Chocolate. Now, let the Turkey go and get on with the story! The longer you drag this on the longer I have to spout this badly written crap!"
"Yes, ma'am," said Chocolate removing herself from her darling Carrot. "I will go first and you come after Henny-Penny, Ducky-Wucky, mmmm... Turkey... Murkey... and Goosielucie."
"You betcha, Foxy-Girl," said Henny-Penny excitedly while Ducky-Wucky said, "As you wish," while Turkey-Murkey screeched, "I'm not going in there!! SomeBODY, HELP ME!!" while Goosie-Lucie said, "We're just going to get eaten. Haven't any of you read this story?"
"So, Foxy-Loxie went into her cave, but she didn't go far, but turned around to wait for Henny-Penny, Ducky-Wucky, Turkey-Murkey and Goosie-Lucie, but mostly for Turkey-Murkey."
"Me-ow!" said Foxy-Loxie while thinking of Turkey-Murkey being in her claws at last.
"And so, Ducky-Wucky was the first to enter the dark hole into the cave."
"I wouldn't, Marron," said Goosie-Lucie. "My sister doesn't play nice."
Ducky-Wucky turned back, with a sad look on his face. "At this point, my dear Tira, I'll do anything to get out of this Hell." And with those final words, Ducky-Wucky entered the damp tunnel into Foxy-Loxie's home.
"Ducky-Wucky didn't get far when SNAP! Foxy-Loxie snapped off his head and threw his body over her left shoulder."
"Gross!" complained Foxy-Loxie. "I'm not doing that!!"
Mama rolled her eyes. "All right. Fine. How about this... Ducky-Wucky didn't get very far when..."
"Listen, Marr-er... Ducky-Wucky..." said Foxy-Loxie to Ducky-Wucky, "I'm in love with your brother. You're in love with your brother and even that sister of mine is in love with your brother, so whadda ya say to this..."
Picking up on the change of story Mama continued her narration, "AND SO, Foxy-Loxie whispered her evil plans to the innocent Ducky-Wucky. "Meanwhile, the next of Henny-Penny, Turkey-Murkey and Goosie-Lucie to enter the cave was Goosie-Lucie."
"I am not going to get my head snapped off, Mama!" said Goosie-Lucie, stamping a foot.
"Err..." said Mama before pulling Goosie-Lucie aside to whisper something in her ear. Goosie-Lucie jumped, then stepped away from the narrator.
"Fine, I'll do it."
"And so, Goosie-Lucie entered the cave, but she didn't get very far when-SNAP! She was pulled down by Foxy-Loxie and Ducky-Wucky into a conspirator's crouch and let in on the evil plans.
"Meanwhile, the next of Henny-Penny and Turkey-Murkey to enter the cave was Turkey-Murkey."
Carrot was shivering in his turkey outfit, clamped onto Henny-Penny's legs and crying. "Don'tmakemego! Don'tmakemego! Don'tmakemego!"
Gateau knocked the trembling turkey off his legs. "Grow a backbone, will you?"
"No, you don't understand!" cried Turkey-Murkey. "They're all in there!! All three of them!!!"
"You know how this story goes," supplied Mama. "They all get their heads snapped off. The only one left in there is the fox."
Turkey-Murkey narrows his eyes. "And you think it's SAFE for me to go in there with only CHOCOLATE?!!"
BONK!! "Calm yourself, Carrot. You will go into the cave, without further complaint, I might add, or you will feel the sting of my magic." Mama's word found a way of echoing in the glen.
"Tears flowing freely down his face, Turkey-Murkey entered the cave, but he didn't get very far when-SNAP! He was pulled down by Foxy-Loxie, Ducky-Wucky and Goosie-Lucie. And Turkey-Murkey let out an Earth-Shattering squeal of despair."
"Outside the cave, Henny-Penny heard the scream and ran off, never to tell the king the sky's a-falling down."
"What? I don't get to go in?" complained Henny-Penny.
"No," replied Mama, above yet another scream.
"But I'm the hero and I don't get the chick?"
Mama sweatdrops. "You're playing a hen, Gateau."
"Oh, yeah... But, I really don't get my chance with that hot Fox-Girl?"
"No." There was another of Turkey-Murkey's screams. "Now, that the story's over, maybe we should just go home."
"Sounds good to me."
And so, Big Mama and Henny-Penny went off to their beds to sleep and dream. But as for poor Turkey-Murkey, his screams can still be heard to this day, whenever the wind blows through the happy little glen, where our story takes place.
"PRINCESS!! PRINCESS!! PRINCESS!! DEAR GOD, WHY ME?!!?!!"
The End