Sorcerer Hunters Fan Fiction ❯ Perpetual Thoughts ❯ Failed Seduction, Eventual Revelations ( Chapter 8 )

That night, Marron couldn't sleep.

 

How was he supposed to sleep, after something like that had happened...?

 

The journey home from the beach... the others had been quite concerned when they'd seen Carrot; Chocolat had got angry at Jeeves for giving the potion, and Potato got angry for Chocolat having given the potion to Carrot in the first place. It'd been meant for a girl to drink, not that pathetic Carrot!

 

However, Potato had admitted that, if what'd happened to Carrot was the effect the potion had on somebody, maybe it'd been best that only Carrot had had some. Marron couldn't tell anybody there that he'd been the one to make his brother like that, that he'd been the one to knock him unconscious... and he felt no-one would have believed him had he said that, anyway. Marron, harm Carrot on purpose? No, that would never happen, surely?

 

Marron had been quiet for the rest of the journey, Gateau seemed to have noticed. Not knowing quite what to say when Marron was like that, he'd just sat beside him and tried to talk to him, but... it seemed that Marron wasn't in the mood for conversation. So Gateau had just sat with him and talked at him about how his day had been. Marron himself hadn't been able to concentrate enough to listen, though he occasionally encouraged Gateau with a nod or a 'mmm'.

 

As they'd come in sight of Facade, Carrot had woken up. He was groggy, and he couldn't seem to remember anything from the past few hours... he said he remembered walking around on the beach, but after that, everything became fuzzy... Marron had just smiled, hoping his smile seemed true; he told Carrot that he'd passed out on the beach, obviously due to heatstroke or sunstroke or something similar. He'd found Carrot, and had taken him somewhere out of the sun in order to cool off. Carrot accepted that easily, the day had been hot, it wasn't entirely inconceivable that something like that might have happened. Annoying, but not impossible.

 

Once they'd said goodbye to Potato, Salad and Jeeves, the Sorcerer Hunters returned to Eden. That evening had been a quiet one; they'd had something to eat, gone back to their bedrooms, prepared for sleep... nothing much that was out of the ordinary.

 

Marron had wondered if Chocolat would ask to see him at any point - surely at least she'd be curious as to what effect the potion had had on Carrot... Marron thought again on that point, he was quite sure he didn't want Chocolat to talk to him. What was he supposed to say to her? 'Oh, it turned him into a raging ball of horn and he almost had sex with me'? Likely nobody would want to hear that about Carrot, especially not from Marron.

 

And of course, Carrot had no idea of anything that had happened. He'd taken a shower, he'd tried to talk with Marron, Marron hadn't had much to say, the two of them had headed to bed. Carrot currently seemed to be sleeping peacefully, but Marron couldn't sleep...

 

He lay in his bed, staring across at Carrot's sleeping form. Carrot had his back to Marron, but he was still there, his body rising and falling gently in sleep...

 

Was there anything to do? Marron wanted to do something, but... he didn't know what...

 

Maybe wake Carrot up, talk to him about what happened?

 

No, but Carrot didn't know... Carrot just assumed he'd passed out on the beach, and Marron had looked after him... was there any way to explain the things that had happened? Perhaps it could be passed off as things Carrot said while delirious... people often talked strangely when ill, didn't they?

 

The whole day seemed to have gone by much too quickly for Marron's liking. It was natural for that - days sometimes went by so slowly, the days where there was nothing to do, the days where they had missions that seemed to drag... it was only natural that the days where they had something fun to do would pass by quickly... but even more so than normally, everything seemed rushed and quick, and, rolling onto his back, Marron felt quite dazed by everything that had happened.

 

He'd never seriously expected anything like that to happen...!

 

Carrot... Carrot was never supposed to act like that... Carrot was never supposed to say things like that! Even in Marron's fantasies, despite them, he'd never dared hope... that perhaps they might truly happen...

 

Was that how it was? Had he always assumed his fantasies unattainable?

 

Naturally... after all, how were dreams like that supposed to come true? Carrot being like how he was, Marron being like how he was... as close as they were as brothers, nothing deeper could ever happen, surely...

 

It had, though.

 

Carrot had had Marron pinned to the floor of the shack and had said he'd wanted to have sex, in not so many words. Marron stared up at the ceiling, unable to think of anything other than that... the things that Carrot had said, the things that Carrot had done... his mind was all too quick to remember the feeling of Carrot's kiss, the feeling of Carrot's touch, just... just everything about him... and they'd been close, so close... Carrot could have taken him, and Marron wouldn't have been able to argue... Marron would have been able to give himself to Carrot, and then he wouldn't have to worry about his problems, because then, surely, they'd rectify themselves...

 

A deep sigh.

 

He really had worked himself into a problem, hadn't he...?

 

Carrot had been able to orgasm, hadn't he... well, of course. Carrot was the kind of person who... well, he did such things frequently. Not that Marron liked to think he kept a conscious account of how often his brother masturbated, but whether Carrot realised it or not, Marron noticed Carrot at least once or twice a week. Still, with a libido such as that, it was only natural that Carrot should work it off in the only way he knew how to do.

 

Even Carrot had caught Marron doing the same thing on occasion, though a lot less frequently. Marron saw little need to even try to masturbate any more... he knew that he wouldn't be able to come, even with Gateau he couldn't find it within himself to come... he didn't want to, not with Gateau.

 

The ceiling was dark, it didn't change. Marron's thoughts never changed, but still he went over them in his mind. Surely there had to be some kind of solution, surely there had to be some way for his problems to be solved...!

 

All of those solutions, in his mind, tended to involve Carrot. They never seemed realistic solutions, but solutions nonetheless.

 

Knowing he wouldn't be able to sleep for a good while yet, Marron sat up in his bed. The headboard of his bed creaked slightly as he leant back on it, but not enough to wake Carrot... Carrot was dead to the world, even though he'd slept so much earlier. That had been involuntary sleep, at any rate... and it helped if he got all the sleep he could. Marron didn't know how long that potion would take to pass through his system... he'd seemed alright (if not a little groggy) earlier, but even so. It never hurt to be on the safe side.

 

Marron felt just slightly guilty; when they'd returned to Eden, Gateau had walked past him as they went back to their rooms... he'd smiled, he'd knocked Marron's shoulder, "Shame we didn't get to spend much time together today, huh?"...

 

It'd just seemed like a normal Gateau kind of comment to make. If Gateau had his way he'd be able to be with Marron for all his waking hours... however, there was just something about how he'd said that comment. Flippant as usual, but just that slight tone of voice, that kind of sadness in his eyes, barely traceable... Gateau really had wanted to spend more time with Marron.

 

Letting out a loud sigh, Marron looked back up at the ceiling. It wasn't as if they hadn't done anything together that day... there had been when Marron had more or less given Gateau that massage (even though he'd ended up giving Carrot one also), and then they'd spent a good hour or so if not more swimming... but maybe it had been a little unfair. Like it or not, Marron felt he was somewhat responsible for those kinds of actions... Gateau was now, for all intents and purposes, his boyfriend. Surely he could at least try to make time for him?

 

Still, he'd had that feeling. Carrot had been in trouble, Marron couldn't help but find out what trouble he was in. It hadn't been Marron's fault that he'd ended up locked in that cabin with Carrot for the rest of the day! Surely the others understood the feelings he had, even if they didn't quite see how deeply they ran... if Carrot was ill, as they'd presumed, then Marron had to look after him...

 

Chocolat had offered. Chocolat had offered to look after Carrot, but... no. Just no. The thought of one of the others looking after him... Chocolat, or Tira, or even Salad... no. Especially with what had happened to Carrot afterward. What if Marron hadn't felt that feeling? What if Marron had kept swimming with Gateau, absolutely unaware of anything that his brother did...?

 

What if Chocolat had managed to have sex with Carrot...?

 

Pulling away from his bedsheets, Marron huddled up against his pillows. If Chocolat had managed to have sex with Carrot... likely she'd have been so happy, maybe she would have boasted so much to everyone else - she'd had sex with Carrot... not anybody else! Nobody else had had the chance! Even if he was drugged up, that didn't matter - he would have chosen her, and she would have been loving it.

 

Even just thinking about that made Marron scowl. How dare she even assume...?

 

No, nothing could be gained from dwelling on those thoughts too deeply. There were too many what-ifs in life in general for Marron to get so flustered about those thoughts... and besides. Surely it was what happened in the end that mattered? Alright, so they hadn't had sex, but... still, he'd brought his brother to orgasm, hadn't he...?

 

That was something the others hadn't done. That Chocolat and Tira hadn't done. Maybe that was something they dreamed of, but for Marron, he actually had...

 

Marron brought his hand up in front of his face. His right hand. That was that hand... that was the hand that had touched Carrot... even if Carrot couldn't remember now, even if he never remembered in the future, that didn't make it any less true. For that time, Carrot had been touched and Marron had been the one touching. Even if only subconsciously, Carrot's skin would always hold that memory... and consciously, painfully so, Marron felt he'd always remember and treasure that memory also.

 

He let his hand drop listlessly to his side.

 

What was he doing...?

 

For the past... the past three weeks, more or less, Marron had been working to set right his thoughts once more. There had been things that had happened with Gateau, his own thoughts of Carrot that had gone too far, but... he couldn't let himself dwell on those thoughts...! He couldn't give himself to Gateau and he couldn't give himself to Carrot either. Such was the way of the world. So he'd thought it best to try his hardest not to think of those thoughts at all; the situation was unhelpable, and, after a few days of solid meditation, Marron had managed to swing his thoughts back into some kind of order. Just dismiss any of those unpleasant thoughts... if he discovered himself looking at Carrot in that way during a mission or even during day-to-day life, he'd close his eyes and work to clear his mind. Such thoughts were not to be thought about during the day. He dismissed them during the day and he slept early at night, barely allowing his thoughts to take root at all.

 

The others just assumed he was plunging into his magic studies again, and didn't like to disturb him. It wasn't polite, and they didn't want to disturb anything delicate... but Marron's thoughts were far away from where the others thought they might be. Marron wasn't considering a new kind of magic, studying a dark and secret spell, anything like that... he was learning to live with himself, learning how to clear his mind and not be distracted by anything... for several weeks constantly, Marron had just meditated like that. He had to keep with it; every day was another brick added to his defending wall, another step away from his dangerous thoughts of Carrot.

 

Block away the thoughts of Carrot and indulge in the light and carefree with Gateau... that was the way to be. Gateau served as a good distraction. Even if he wanted to hold or kiss or caress, then that was alright - that was Gateau doing such things. It was best to concentrate on those things, and ignore the thoughts of what it'd be like if Carrot did them...

 

Just wanting to give himself to someone who quite rightly probably wouldn't want him back... that was just selfish, surely?

 

Marron didn't know if he was ready to give himself to Gateau, but he knew Gateau would wait for eternity if that was what Marron needed. For all his flirting and flippant attitude, Marron realised that Gateau was extremely patient; Gateau was really willing to wait so long? Why not just find somebody else who'd be willing to do the same things, more quickly?

 

One of those days in the weeks past, Marron had mentioned it, dancing around the subject. Asking Gateau, wasn't it just so tedious to have to wait for something like that?

 

Gateau had shaken his head, saying he enjoyed the wait. Marron had frowned - what did that mean? Gateau explained himself.

 

Despite his sense and maturity, Marron was still a teenager, and he'd forever be younger than Gateau. Gateau had said about how he found it fascinating to watch Marron grow up, in a way; not exactly physically, but mentally... watching his old opinions change, slowly... watch him slowly unfurl, like some sort of flower. Maybe not yet, but eventually he'd bloom, and on that day, that would be the day when he'd feel ready. Not before that day. Gateau would wait for that day, however long it took.

 

It was things like that that made Marron take a step back from the situation and a moment to really look at Gateau. Something philosophical like that... and Gateau had said it? It made sense, but... it was just strange to hear something like that from someone like Gateau. After all, Carrot was never one to say things like that, was he? And in the past, Marron wouldn't have presumed that Gateau was, either. But somehow Marron just stirred his tongue like that, and such things were possible to say...

 

So, for those weeks, Marron had more or less been left to his own devices. The routine was normal and repeated over; wake up, talk to Carrot if he was around and awake, go out, meditate for a while, meet Gateau, go somewhere with him, go back to Eden, meditate some more, eat, go back to bed, maybe talk with Carrot for a while, then sleep. The next morning it'd all begin again, occasionally being slightly disturbed by missions, but not greatly.

 

And then there'd been the trip to the beach that had disturbed all of that.

 

One of the main nagging little voices in Marron's mind who existed solely to argue against the cause for Carrot would always use that as it's argument. That Carrot would never do things like that. That, no matter how much Marron loved, lusted, dreamt and desired after Carrot's body, mind, soul, whatever... it was all unrealistic, and would never happen. Everything like that was just a hopeful dream, none of it could ever hope to come true, and so those thoughts were stupid, because they were so unlikely.

 

The balance had been tipped; suddenly, even if it'd only been in that circumstance... those things were likely. They could happen. They had happened...

 

Carrot's body had felt so warm, hadn't it...? All pressed against him like that. Nevermind thoughts of slipping into his bed while he was asleep and wouldn't even notice, that time Carrot had been absolutely awake, and aroused, and had chosen (even if not quite by his own violition) to be on top of Marron in such a way... it'd almost been scary, but so exhilarating at the same time...

 

Marron shook his head. No. No! He had to stop thinking about that, things like that... it'd just been something that had happened. A rather tiresome thing, something that had disturbed his meditative thoughts and brought his mind back into that state of mind, but... all in all, something quite tiresome. It'd just been coincidence that it'd been him to find Carrot. It could just have easily have been Tira or Chocolat or Potato or Gateau or even a random passer-by, and something similar might have happened with them. And would Marron have been able to help that at all? No, not really. Would Carrot have had sex with someone else? It was possible. Would Marron have been able to help that either? No, not especially.

 

There was always the underlying feeling, that that he couldn't help his thoughts - well, that was true. For as long as he could remember he'd loved Carrot, he didn't want to ever stop loving Carrot, Carrot was his brother and he wanted to love Carrot always, but when it came to such dark thoughts... that couldn't be such a love, could it? With a contemptuous glare into the darkness of the room directed at himself, he let out a sigh of annoyance. He was obsessed, he knew it. As much as his brother girlchased and as much as Chocolat endlessly tried to seduce Carrot, even more than that, Marron yearned for his brother. He wanted him. He lusted after him. He needed him, he felt, so badly...

 

The events of the day were a kind of test, Marron supposed. Something thrown at him to try and disturb him, an obstacle in the course of his thoughts...

 

As far as that went, it'd worked quite well. Marron still couldn't stop staring at Carrot's sleeping back and thinking of what'd happened during the day and picturing what might have happened had it gone further...

 

Marron slipped back under his bedsheets, pulling them up around him. No, that wouldn't get him anywhere. The best thing to do would be to sleep, to forget what had happened at the beach, and concentrate on the everyday things. Maybe there'd be a mission tomorrow, or the next day... it'd be best to have enough sleep, just in case. Maybe he'd go down to the city with Gateau... maybe some small things would happen or maybe nothing would happen at all, but... the point of the matter was, he had to sleep...!

 

A deep sigh; Marron's body felt hot, and his mind didn't seem to want him to sleep. He closed his eyes tightly, holding his pillow with one hand and the edge of his sheets with the other. Sleep... if he could just cast his thoughts to the side, clear his mind just a fraction, perhaps he'd be able to induce sleep. Sleep. He needed to sleep.

 

Carrot, naked, in front of him. Marron also naked, sitting against the headboard of the bed, Carrot crouched in front of him. Crawling a little further. Looking wide-eyed and innocent, looking like he needed something so badly... Marron staring back at him, unsure, questioning...

 

"I need you, otouto..."

 

"Niisan?"

 

Carrot's hands on Marron's legs, pushing at them then holding them apart.

 

"Niisan, what do you mean...?"

 

Carrot's body against his, shifting and moving and squirming and pressing and leaving Marron with no doubt at all at to what it was he really meant.

 

"Oh, niisan..."

 

Arms wrapping around him, lips pressing against him, Carrot's voice, "I need to take you, otouto... I need to make you mine..."

 

Marron nodding, "Yes... yes, niisan! Take me... take me, make me yours... I want to be yours...!"

 

And he would.

 

It'd be dark, Marron would be in bed. Maybe he'd be asleep, maybe he'd be waiting for sleep to visit him... either way, he'd be quietly detaching himself from everyday thoughts, he'd be about to sleep.

 

Then he'd feel something.

 

A hand, touching him... stroking him... caressing him... moving further...

 

A kiss or several. Something biting at him, hard enough to mark... something moving under the sheets, someone moving under the sheets... Marron would awaken quickly, not even daring to move as he felt a strangely familiar touch, kiss, stroke, suck...

 

He'd moan, sign of being awake. Gripping his bedsheets, the hands around his hips would grip him harder in turn, the sucking becoming stronger, the tongue against his erection more insistent... their room would be so quiet - that could only be Carrot...!

 

He wouldn't care about moaning, about crying out, about those slight screams... Carrot would make him feel so good... acting so randomly, Marron would never be able to disagree... he'd hear slight sounds from Carrot, sounds Carrot exaggerated because he knew they'd embarrass Marron... and they would, but in such a wonderful way... hot and flushed and approaching orgasm, Marron would be at his brother's mercy, and maybe Carrot wouldn't have any, and maybe... maybe...

 

Maybe there wouldn't be any argument. Maybe there wouldn't be any words - maybe there wouldn't be any problem, either. Maybe it'd be a nice, bright, sunny day. Maybe the two of them would have just woken up... maybe there wouldn't be a mission that day, maybe Marron would quietly awaken, maybe Carrot would have been waiting for him, maybe Carrot would kiss him.

 

They'd be passionate and uncontrollable, there on the bed like that. Almost wrestling against each other, kissing whenever they felt like, hands roaming quickly and stroking whatever they found. Skin against skin would make them moan, content just to kiss and touch, climax some far-off distant goal in the future.

 

Perhaps it would be something darker than that. Perhaps Marron would be tied back, or tied up, or tied down... perhaps he'd struggle against his bonds, but be so unable to move... and the place he was would be dark, and then he'd hear that laugh...

 

"Otouto... you're so submissive, like this...!"

 

He'd shift in his bonds, trying to move to find the source of the voice, but be unable to... looking up and around nervously, the voice was so close, but everywhere was still so dark... he'd recognize the voice, "Please..."

 

A shadowy figure would come into view, "Please... what?"

 

Looking up with wide eyes that sought for compassion in the darkness, "I... I can't feel like this..."

 

"No?"

 

"N-no... feeling like this... it's wrong...! It's wrong and dangerous and wicked, and I-... I'm so weak for it...!"

 

"Indeed you are... my slave..."

 

He'd look up with such mixed emotions. Slave... so he who was talking, he was... a master? Yes... that person... master... he already controlled so many of Marron's emotions, if he wished to take a more active role in that fashion, Marron could only agree... retaining some kind of personal barrier to contain himself during the day... giving himself entirely by night... he could only give all of himself...

 

"Niisan... niisan...!"

 

That word, representative of everything of the situation... niisan. Brother. Brother. They were brothers. In his bonds, Marron would be left to consider that fact... that they were brothers, be told how wrong it was... and it was wrong, so terribly. So wrong and so terrible that he needed to be punished for it...!

 

There...

 

Ah, there it was. The crack of a whip, not on his body, but somewhere close to him. Somewhere close enough to be loud in the darkness. He'd freeze, looking around, wondering when the next blow would come, if it'd be still nearby, or if it'd be somewhere on his own body, marking him, branding him, shaming him, claiming him...

 

It'd likely be brutal, and there'd probably be pain. Though, that was what Marron wanted... he needed to be punished for what he felt. He needed to be shamed for entertaining such fantasies. And wouldn't it bring such hot flushing humiliation to be punished by he who brought about such fantasies...? Carrot would know what a sick little brother he had, and he'd say he was disgusted... but in the same heartbeat, he'd reach for Marron and touch him, and Marron would squirm and shift and say that Carrot shouldn't do such things, not when they were so wrong...

 

Carrot wouldn't care. Even if Marron protested, said it was wrong and that they shouldn't do such things, he'd always eventually fall silent, fighting back his feelings, eventually unable to, eventually letting out just the slightest moan... Carrot would even pick up on that, berating him quietly for being so weak and submitting so readily... but Marron wouldn't be able to help it.

 

There would be other things. Other things that Carrot would do, other places he'd touch, he'd seem to know everything that would make Marron scream... whether from pain or humiliation or heady arousal, Marron would be entirely controlled by Carrot, and both would know that and revel in it... Carrot would use Marron so brutally, and Marron'd be so helpless, but that, that was they way they wanted it to be...

 

Sleep was obviously an impossible dream for Marron at that point. He'd tried to sleep, he'd really tried to sleep, but now he was masturbating and he couldn't stop himself. How amazing it was, how one thought led to another, to yet anther, led eventually to that... and just those thoughts!... Just thinking of what it'd be like to be helpless in Carrot's hold, knowing that he couldn't do anything, knowing that Carrot controlled him absolutely in all things...!

 

It'd been quite a while since he'd let his thoughts unravel in such a way. It'd been quite a while since he'd touched himself, too... part of him hated it, part of him knew he wouldn't be able to come, part of him knew he was so shameful for doing that about his brother... but that shame transferred itself to the dream, and every cry was his own and every berating reply was from Carrot, and it was shameful and it was sinful and it was wrong, but despite that, tied down as Marron was, Carrot still took him, and it was so brutal, but also so natural... they couldn't help doing such things...!

 

Marron's eyes were closed tightly, occasionally opening to a hazy view of what had been in front of him before - the room was still dark and otherwise silent, and Carrot still slept peacefully in front of him, deep in his slumber, suspecting nothing at all.

 

The room seemed so warm, suddenly. Marron's heart pounded and his body shook as he frantically worked his hand against his erection. If that hand was Carrot's hand-! Ah, but had that not been the hand that had touched Carrot, earlier?... Oh, but it had. Just as it had touched Carrot, now it touched Marron. The thought seemed to make the touch eversoslightly alien, and Marron savoured the touch, the thought, the feeling. He let out sharp gasps, trying to stifle them against his hand, against his pillow... cries, too. They were harder to stifle. He wanted to cry to the room the name of his desire, he wanted to cry Carrot's name and have his call answered, he wanted to touch and be touched, but he couldn't have any of that...

 

He rolled over onto his front, it was easier to press against the pillow like that. Marron shuffled back until his feet caught against the edge of the bed; with his feet against the end of the bed and one hand grasping desperately at the opposite end, he cried into his pillow and thrust against the bed, needing some kind of outlet for his frustrations... he wanted... no, he needed... something... someone...

 

Every noise seemed loud and Marron felt painfully aware of himself, eyes flickering up to see Carrot's sleeping form still resting there so undisturbed... his breath seemed loud and halting, his heartbeat pounded around his body... whenever the bed creaked against him or he moved against the pillow, he'd freeze momentarily - had Carrot heard that? Would Carrot wake up? Would Carrot notice him, see his desperation...? Would he... maybe be willing to help...?

 

Such trains of thought just served to complicate his thoughts even more. No, he wouldn't! If he woke up and saw Marron like that, his first thought would most certainly not be 'Ah, why don't I help him with that'... he'd be embarrassed, but he wouldn't... not those things...!

 

Marron slowed somewhat, knowing he was being loud when compared to the silence of the room before. He stopped moving, except for his hand stroking against his body, and his occasional thrusts and shudders against the bed, which he didn't have any control over.

 

Perhaps if he was slower... he held his hand still, softly shifting against his fingers. He tried to run his fingers along his erection as he did so, but his fingers shook so terribly, and his breath was still loud... he felt so physically tired, but his arousal still burnt through his body. Looking up at the sleeping Carrot once more... had this been how he was, earlier? No, Carrot had been worse, Carrot just couldn't help himself, doing anything to satiate his lust... but surely this was on the way to that... nothing seemed important except for that. Thoughts of sleeping in preparation for missions coming up were forgotten, thoughts of anything else at all were forgotten... Marron's body felt numb and kept shaking against his will. He felt aware of everything touching him - the fabric of the bed below him, the coolness of the sheets above him, the heat of his hand against his erection and vice versa... the way the pillow felt against his clenched fingers, his fingers hurt from his nails pressing so urgently into the material... the air of the room against his bare shoulder, his hair against his neck and back and falling in front of his face... his hips shuddered again, Marron pulled his hand away.

 

He looked at it again.

 

The hand that had brought his brother to orgasm. The hand that had touched his brother where he now touched his own self...! Obviously his fingers still had the power to stir such feeling, but... why couldn't he feel such things? He wanted to come, and not just because a sleeping dream had stirred him to do so. He wanted to touch himself and be able to feel those feelings... looking to Carrot... he wanted someone to touch him and stir the same...!

 

Marron clenched his fist and closed his eyes tightly, aware of tears of frustration against his eyes. Why!? Why couldn't he even do that? What had prevented him? What was stopping him? If he had such control of his body then why couldn't he do that one simple thing...?

 

He'd long since trained it into his body that thinking about such things was a pointless exercise that wouldn't get him anywhere. He'd told himself he could think about such things come the night, and once the night had come, he hadn't; he'd brushed those thoughts aside once more, telling himself that a good night's sleep was more important, and it wasn't worth the risk of waking anybody up. It wasn't as if such feelings were the be-all and end-all of the world, after all. He loved his brother, he didn't need to think erotic thoughts of him every night to prove that.

 

Putting those thoughts away for a day, a night, a week, several, a month, more than that... obviously, as much as training a new spellcasting gesture to his body had an effect - being able to cast spells quicker, more powerfully, the more he was trained - pushing those feelings aside also had. They weren't feelings that could help him, or make him grow strong... they were only feelings that would weaken him, reduce him to nothing more than something primal, relying so heavily on those feelings... he had to be quick and alert and well-trained, he couldn't rely so much on any one thing, and he couldn't allow his body to surrender like that! He had to be powerful and in control, if he wasn't in control of his own body then what could he be in control of? Everything started with oneself, after all.

 

So in control of his body, he couldn't lose control even if he wanted to...

 

And he wanted to, so badly he wanted to... as he lay there on the bed, shivering and aroused, he needed to. He couldn't, but he needed to.

 

Marron wracked his mind for some kind of immediate solution. Surely there was some way of telling his body it was alright to let go?

 

Or maybe that was like trying to cast a healing spell with an attacking stance. Maybe it just wouldn't work.

 

"... God..."

 

Marron lay on his back again, staring unblinking at the ceiling above, his wrist over his forehead. So frustrated... he hadn't wanted to feel those feelings in the past, but now he wanted to, now he needed to - was he really so unable? Was it really something that was impossible for him? Impossible for his conscious mind, if nothing else...

 

He turned his head to the side, looking again at Carrot. It seemed he'd moved since Marron had last looked at him... he now lay on his back, head turned towards Marron, still sleeping. His breathing was deep and easy, contrasting to Marron's shallow breathing. Even just moving to breathe seemed to send a shiver through his body...

 

Sitting up, Marron just stared at Carrot.

 

"This is because of YOU."

 

He leant forward on his hands, staring at him still.

 

"I'm like this because of YOU... you can't even know... you don't know what you DO to me... niisan..."

 

Quietly, he slipped out of his bed, falling to a kneel in the gap between his bed and Carrot's bed. He leant his elbows against the edge of Carrot's bed, his head propped up on his fists. So sleeping and so innocent...!

 

Marron's mind was clouded. What was there he could do? This person, this innocent sleeping person in front of him, he was guilty, unknowingly, of so much. Would he ever realise quite what an effect he had on his little brother? Marron brought shaking fingers close to Carrot's head, his hair looked so soft, it was almost begging to be touched...

 

His lips were slightly parted. His hair was begging to be touched, his lips were begging to be kissed... Marron was begging for release. He needed his release, and he needed it from this person. Unaware currently, but... he could be awoken... he'd realise... he'd grant those things...

 

It was impossible. He couldn't do it. Carrot was sleeping so quietly... he didn't deserve to be disturbed like that...! Through the haze of Marron's mind, something told him that Carrot wouldn't react the way he wished. Carrot wouldn't do the things he dreamed of... his dreams were impossible and his fantasies wouldn't be realised. He couldn't bring orgasm with his own hand, he needed the hand of another. He needed to be overpowered, he needed someone who wouldn't give him a choice...

 

Standing up, Marron's legs felt so weak... he glanced towards the bedroom door, taking a deep breath.

 

Could the answer to the problem be...?

 

Somewhere else in Eden, Marron supposed, Gateau would currently be sleeping. Also completely unaware. Well, nobody knew of the problems Marron was having... it wasn't as if he wanted to tell Gateau suddenly, but... Gateau was his boyfriend, more or less... surely Gateau would at least be willing to perhaps try...

 

It'd never worked in the past, though. It seemed that something always seemed to happen in order to disturb them, usually Marron's fault... he turned away from the door. Now probably wouldn't be any different. Would Gateau really understand?

 

Would he refuse, if Marron asked him? If Marron begged him?

 

Gateau was somebody who could do those sorts of things... he was somebody Marron didn't have to worry about like that, because, like that, they'd...

 

The mental image of being tied to the bedpost while Gateau took him roughly flitted over Marron's mind. Gateau really was a strong person, wasn't he? In that situation, if Marron even tried to fight back, surely he couldn't... of course, that would depend on if he wanted to fight back...

 

The bottom line...

 

Sex.

 

If Marron asked Gateau to have sex, the answer was more likely than not to be 'yes'. If Marron set himself at his most persuasive, surely it'd work... and if he didn't let Gateau say 'no', then... ah, but would Gateau even say no...?

 

Marron walked over to the wardrobe in the room, and found a bathrobe. That'd do. Looking over the collection of clothes in there... there were his clothes, there were Carrot's clothes. Most of Marron's clothes were robes, and most of them followed the same pattern... most of them had cords and sashes with them... Marron pulled a robe closer to him, inspecting it. Which robe would be best... he flipped through them, wondering how many of the cords he might need. In the end, he selected four cords, rolled them up, and tucked them into the pockets of his bathrobe.

 

He looked at Carrot as he walked away from the wardrobe. He wondered about telling Carrot where he was going... say he felt like some fresh air, say that he'd gone for a little walk... he didn't want Carrot to be worried in case he woke up and Marron wasn't there...

 

Marron didn't trust himself to wake Carrot up. He left the room silently.

 

Walking down the moonlit corridor, Marron's mind raced. He still felt overpowered by the force of his libido... so much for trying to suppress that. Maybe this was what happened if it was suppressed too badly... so long without needing anything like that at all, then suddenly it all hit in at once, rendering him incapable of thinking of anything else at all...

 

Approaching Gateau's bedroom door now. Marron stood outside it, his fist poised and ready to knock on the door; he paused before he did so.

 

What was he supposed to say to Gateau? Would Gateau even hear the knock? What if Eclair answered the door instead? That wouldn't be easy to explain. He could say he wanted to talk to Gateau, but explaining why he wanted to talk to Gateau in the middle of the night like that... was there really any excuse he could use...?

 

Marron's hand went from going to knock on the door to the doorhandle. Best to just go and get Gateau himself.

 

The bedroom of the Mocha siblings was just as dark as that of the Glacé brothers. Eclair's bed on the right side... Gateau's bed on the left side... Marron approached Gateau's bed, his legs still feeling weak. The way the bathrobe was brushing so gently against his erection (which he still retained) didn't help. He stood to the side of Gateau's bed, watching Gateau sleep. His bedsheets were around his chest, one hand over his chest and the other to his side. Marron wasn't in the mood for talking, he just wanted to do things without discussion or argument... he leaned down, pushing at Gateau's shoulder. Gateau made a slight noise. Marron pushed at him a little harder, digging his nails against Gateau's shoulder in his frustration... Gateau made a louder noise, his eyes flickering slightly...

 

"You sleep too deeply..."

 

Marron's voice was a terse whisper to the room. Gateau snored lightly, he was obviously still sleeping... Marron didn't want to risk waking Gateau up with any past methods he'd employed, he wasn't in the mood for fooling around, he was in the mood for sex and he was in the mood for it now.

 

He was half-tempted to cast a spell. Something loud, or something suddenly painful... something that would wake Gateau up. Anything like that was likely to wake Eclair up too, that idea wasn't the best one he'd had.

 

Marron remembered the cords in his pockets. Looking down on Gateau's shadowy sleeping form, Marron was strangely tempted... would it be possible to literally drag Gateau out of bed? It could be an introduction for his bondage techniques, at any rate...

 

Carefully wrapping one of the cords around Gateau's wrists, Marron pulled tightly against it. It bound Gateau's wrists together suddenly, he made another noise in his sleep. Marron leant close to his ear, "Gateau... Gateau...!"

 

"Mmnnh..."

 

"Gateau, wake up..."

 

"Hfnn..."

 

Marron yanked on the cord once more, pulling hard enough to shift Gateau over slightly, his head coming into contact with his bedside drawer. Marron heard the noise of the things on the drawer being disturbed, then Gateau waking up with an "Ow..."

 

There wasn't any time for discussion, Marron's voice was whispered and insistent.

 

"Are you awake now?"

 

"Ma-... Marron? What are you do-... why can't I move my arms?"

 

Not wishing to have to explain himself, Marron just tugged on the cord once more.

 

"Wh-... what?"

 

An impatient sigh, "Not here."

 

Gateau eventually seemed to get the idea, that Marron was trying to lead him away from the bedroom. He didn't understand why Marron couldn't have just told him he wanted to go somewhere else, he wondered why Marron had an extra cord with him in the first place, but as he edged out of bed and followed Marron outside, he felt he shouldn't ask. There was something about Marron's current manner that said he just shouldn't be argued with... still, they'd gone for quite a while without any strange things happening at all, Gateau had managed to keep his raging libido in check and nothing sexual had happened for quite some time... it'd been good like that, hadn't it? Going out for lunch, taking afternoon walks, hugging, being shamelessly romantic... and Marron hadn't even made any references to such things, or made any advances... was this an advance? Was this a sexual thing?

 

It was a strange thing, in any case. Gateau felt embarrassed as he let Marron lead him down the corridor, presumably to one of the empty bedrooms. He still had the purple cord around his wrists, Marron still held the other end... he felt like a dog on a leash, or something. He didn't want to say anything to Marron, it was anybody's guess as to what mood Marron was in or what his reasons were, but... what if somebody saw them? How would that be explained? There didn't seem any way to explain it, Gateau didn't understand what was happening in the first place...

 

Eventually, after what seemed like far too long in Gateau's mind, Marron came to a stop in front of one of the bedroom doors. He turned to face Gateau, not looking at him, and silently undid the cord around his wrists. They'd been quite tight, they'd hurt slightly... Gateau rubbed at his wrists, watching as Marron opened the bedroom door and stepped inside.

 

"Marron...?"

 

No reply. Marron was holding the door open for Gateau, who supposed he was expected to follow... confused, he walked into the room.

 

"Marron, what's this all about?"

 

Gateau stood a few feet in front of Marron, still holding his wrists. He realised that and let them drop to his sides, turning to face Marron. He shivered slightly; the moon outside shone into the room, leaving patches of moonlight on the floor, against the walls... Marron, leaning against the door, was in one of these patches.

 

And the look on his face...

 

Some of his hair had fallen over his face, his eyes... he didn't make any move to move it. He just stared at Gateau from under the cover of his hair, his hands pressed flat against the wood of the door... one foot was pressed against there too, he leant back. Seeing Gateau staring at him, he leant his head back to see him more easily... oh, he looked so confused. Surely it was obvious...? For what other reason would he have awoken Gateau so late at night, and in such a fashion? It was almost amusing, Marron couldn't help a smile.

 

That smile un-nerved Gateau. He didn't know what Marron was smiling - smirking? - at, and he just looked so sneaky and self-assured... and Gateau didn't even know the reason for any of it... he frowned, Marron was acting quite strangely. Maybe he was drunk? No, but Marron couldn't touch alcohol. Maybe something else had happened? Gateau wasn't sure what else there was to happen...

 

"Marron, was... was there something you wanted?"

 

Gateau's choice of words amused Marron. There was only really one answer... he looked up, some of the hair falling away from his eyes as he spoke that one word.

 

"You."

 

Marron wasn't in the mood for waiting any longer. Gateau looked quite confused, but... no, he couldn't be confused! He... he, Gateau, had to be the one in control! He was the one Marron needed... he was the one who could, perhaps, grant Marron's climax...! There wasn't any time for Gateau to be confused. He needed to be in control, he needed to take control... wondering how he could make that happen, Marron pressed himself against Gateau, looping his arms around Gateau's neck, kissing underneath Gateau's chin.

 

This was better, wasn't it? Even if Gateau wasn't Carrot, he was... he was at least there to be used for that purpose...

 

To be used...?

 

Yes, perhaps it was a little like that. Still, Gateau always seemed willing. Marron was sure Gateau wouldn't mind, just as long as he didn't know he was being used. Maybe it was brutal not to tell him but it wasn't exactly kind in the first place, and sometimes people just had to be cruel to be kind, and Marron couldn't think along those lines for too long anyway. Perhaps it was just him, but the room felt so hot and Gateau did also, the skin Marron felt with his fingers, his hands... he moved to Gateau's neck with his kisses, harsh and nipping. His voice was a whisper, punctuating the kisses, terse and desperate.

 

"Need... need you... you... you have to... I... want you... you... you have to... take me... Gateau..."

 

Gateau's mind swam; yes, this was an advance, wasn't it? There had been times in the past, times when things hadn't quite gone to plan, but... this time, Marron really did seem willing... oh, and how. It was all Gateau could do to stand there while Marron pressed and shifted against him, stroked at his skin, kissed him... slowly they advanced further into the room, Gateau letting himself be led where Marron was leading him... he felt the bed against the back of his legs, a swift push from Marron overbalanced him and he fell on his back on the bed. He looked up as he felt Marron join him on the bed, climb on there with him, climb on top of him, straddle him... oh god...

 

Both were breathing heavily, Marron through his arousal which still burnt through his body, Gateau through the arousal that was setting in quickly; the situation seemed so sudden and strange, but he couldn't deny there was something definitely agreeable about being dragged out of bed by his potential lover and thrown to a bed with a request to take with no argument at all...

 

Body trembling, Gateau just stared at Marron. He was so beautiful... well, he was always beautiful, but there was something about this beauty that wasn't always seen... nobody else saw Marron like this, did they?

 

Marron was currently straddling Gateau's thighs, which were barely covered by Gateau's nightshirt. Marron's hands could feel the fabric below his hands, which pressed against Gateau's stomach... clothes just got in the way. He needed to get rid of them. He pulled at the nightshirt without saying anything at all, Gateau quickly caught on and let the shirt be pulled from his shoulders... he watched as Marron threw it to the floor. Now Marron was in his bathrobe... Gateau stared. Would Marron let him take the bathrobe off, or did he want to do so himself...? Marron just smirked down at Gateau, he wasn't saying anything.

 

The room was dark, and it was hard to see things that didn't fall in the moonlight... when Marron shifted back slightly, he was in the moonlight again. It seemed such a strange contrast... there was the darkness around them, the raven-black of Marron's hair... it seemed so contrasted against Marron's skin, which seemed so pale in the moonlight... he seemed almost ghostly, there like that. Ghostly and ethereal... Gateau could do little more than just stare. Mentally, he promised himself never to get tired of chasing after Marron, to never stop loving him, never. How could anybody get bored of that beauty? How could anybody resist him at all? He seemed such a figure of sensuality, knelt on the bed like that, supporting himself by way of Gateau's body... Marron was always somebody who seemed so cold and quiet, his reticent nature making him seem so...

 

Then there were the times when he was bathed in the moonlight, his bathrobe half-forgotten about and half falling from his shoulders... it'd slipped down to his upper arm on one side, it was hanging open slightly on the other... it was still bound around his waist by the cord, but that could be easily taken away... his skin looked so ivory-white and perfect, and Marron had asked to be taken... he was willing to trust his body to Gateau, let himself belong to somebody, give himself to somebody... to Gateau... he was willing and he was ready, and the enormity of the situation made Gateau flush with thoughts of what might possibly happen in the not too distant future...

 

Gateau reached for Marron's shoulder, wanting to slip the robe away, but Marron stopped him. Not just yet. He wanted to tempt Gateau, persuade Gateau to do what Marron felt he needed him to do... Marron shifted away slightly on the bed, resting entirely in a patch of moonlight. Gateau just lay there, "... Marron?"

 

Marron started to slip the robe down his arms, "This... this is what you want, isn't it...?"

 

Tugging gently at the cord that bound the robe together, that was eventually untied. Marron pulled it away, his robe fell open... Gateau just stared at Marron, concentrating on the skin that was becoming slowly visible to his eyes... the robe falling down Marron's back now, falling to the bed, parted entirely from Marron's body. Marron was now naked in the moonlight, naked and irresistible. Then there was that smirk... Marron seemed to know exactly what he was doing, and Gateau felt intimidated and thrilled at the same time; what might Marron do to him?

 

Thoughts and plans had been rising and falling in Marron's mind. He still had the cords he'd brought with him... he wanted to be taken, and he didn't want any choice in the matter, but... Gateau had never consented to such things in the past, might he still refuse to agree now...? Marron's thoughts went to just a little earlier, how he'd managed to wake Gateau up...

 

Perhaps, if Marron introduced the idea of bondage... perhaps it'd make Gateau more willing to do such things to Marron afterward...

 

"You... want me, don't you?"

 

"O-of course...!"

 

"You'd... do anything I asked of you... would you?"

 

"I'd try as hard as I could, anyway..."

 

"Alright. Please, would you lie back against the bed...? Hold your arms out... yes, like that. Your legs also... yes, that's good. Thank you, Gateau."

 

Gateau could only lie there as he watched Marron; Marron went to where his bathrobe had piled on the bed, he retrieved the cords that had been in his pocket, brought them over to where Gateau was. Gateau just watched, saying nothing as his arms and legs were bound to the bed, each limb tied to a corner bedpost of the bed. When Marron was finished, he sat back and looked at his work; yes, that was good. Still Gateau just looked up at Marron.

 

"Marron, what are you... what you going to do...?"

 

"I thought that, perhaps, you might become more accepting of this idea if it were one that I had introduced to you in the first place... so... as for what I might do to you? I'd imagine... it wouldn't take too much to realise that, Gateau...!"

 

Having finished binding Gateau down, Marron returned to the centre of the bed, where Gateau was bound. Gateau couldn't help but feel that his breathing was far too loud in the quiet of the room... it wasn't the fact that he was bound, he could have broken the bonds in an instant if he'd so wished, but... he didn't want to. Having Marron do things like this so suddenly... arousal clouded his mind more than anything else, he wanted so desperately for this to be the time that he and Marron could do anything they wanted... he and Marron might finally be able to have sex... finally...

 

Marron was sat against Gateau's stomach, now. His hands pressed against Gateau's chest, his legs pressed against Gateau's hips... Gateau could feel Marron's weight pressed against him. He was heavy, but not uncomfortably so... and he, too, was aroused. Eyes dipping from Marron's line of sight to his erection, Gateau just couldn't keep looking Marron in the eye...! Though when he did, he found himself the recipient of that smirk, that smile... and when Marron shifted back a little, he could feel Marron's backside against his painfully hard arousal... he gasped slightly, pulling tightly at his bonds. In such a position... maybe...

 

A soft laugh as Marron continued to move backward, shifting so he knelt between Gateau's legs. His eyes roamed over Gateau's body... he looked so unsure, like that. So unsure, yet... still, he was so hard... surely at least something about this was turning him on... Marron reached down to stroke Gateau's erection. That could make him more agreeable.

 

"So, Gateau... you see... like this, you could be like my slave, could you not? I have you tied down... do you like this?"

 

"M-Marron, please..."

 

"I'll grant you your climax... but, you must promise to listen to me..."

 

Gateau frowned slightly but still nodded, "Ye-yes, I... I'll listen to you... Marron..."

 

"Alright, then..."

 

Leaning forward, Marron pressed his body against Gateau's body, eventually leaning up to kiss him. Gateau gasped before Marron reached him - he could feel Marron pressed against him, all of Marron... even the slightest movements that Marron made, Gateau could feel...! Surely this had to be affecting Marron also?

 

Marron kissed Gateau slowly, gently, all while writhing softly against him. He held against Gateau's head with his two hands, licking and nipping at Gateau's lips before covering Gateau's mouth with his own, enjoying the feeling of his body pressing against Gateau like that. Both bodies seemed so hot, moreso pressed against one another... Marron smiled gently as he pulled away from the kiss, he was enjoying this so far. That was important, to enjoy himself. To force himself to do things would be to defeat the object; he had to feel easy with the things that happened, and moreso, he had to make Gateau feel easy also.

 

Closing his eyes, Marron pulled away from the kiss, looking craftily into Gateau's eyes. He kissed a trail back down Gateau's body, knowing where his destination would be, not wishing to take his time. Shifting back on the bed, Marron now lay between Gateau's legs... he gazed up at Gateau's erection. He couldn't help his thoughts drifting, they were going back in time, back to when Marron had been with Carrot... remembering what Carrot had looked like, had felt like... well, that couldn't be helped. He'd felt those things, but that was in the past. It wasn't as if there was going to be a special potion always there to help Carrot do things like that with Marron... Marron just had to take his pleasure where he could find it. If that had to be from Gateau, well... so be it.

 

So badly, Marron had wanted to taste his brother...! Not just for the short time he'd been allowed, but... he wanted to hold his brother's hips down, suck on him so brazenly, do things that were a bit shameful and a bit embarrassing... Marron wanted it to be Carrot's body beneath him, scrawny as it was in comparison... but that couldn't be, and for now, he had Gateau. Mentally berating himself, Marron quietly licked Gateau's shaft from the base to the tip; hadn't he wanted to stop thinking of Carrot? Persuade himself into a way of life that was theoretically healthier for him?

 

The haze of arousal from before was overtaking again. Marron was getting used to what Gateau was like, how he felt, how he looked, how he could be touched... it was something he'd done before, so... without saying anything, Marron wrapped his hands around the hardness, and started to suck against it. He heard Gateau's cry, he could see and feel against the bed, Gateau pulling against his bonds... obviously this was so frustrating to him, but wouldn't his climax be that much sweeter when it arrived? Marron decided to take his time.

 

It still seemed so big, so thick... and it was because of him. If Gateau had his way, Marron mused, this thing that seemed so large would be inside him before the night was out... lowering his head to nibble softly against it, Marron quietly contemplated that. Perhaps it would hurt? Perhaps. Especially if Gateau was as brutal as Marron quite wished him to be...

 

Still, had his dreams not contained pain? When he dreamt of his brother holding him down and fucking him on the spot, was there not pain there? When he dreamt of his brother being so easy with a whip, surely that was pain also?

 

There was a difference between imagined pain and real pain, though. Marron couldn't help but clench inwardly at the thought of having Gateau inside him... it would likely happen, but... well, it had to be something Marron had to endure. If he really was so tight (as he felt it might seem to Gateau) then it probably wouldn't last for so long.

 

Up and down, Marron would lick. He traced the veins up and down with his tongue, let his tongue tense and relax, do the things that made Gateau moan most... one hand felt underneath to Gateau's balls, Marron massaged against them with the palm of his hand whilst he licked. Gateau made a strangled sort of noise, continually gasping Marron's name to the room... Marron always liked to hear that, hear his name said in such tones, knowing he'd made somebody reach such a state of mind...

 

Leaning up a little, Marron let his tongue dance on the tip of Gateau's erection before he engulfed it in his mouth once more. He leant down as far as he could manage, sucking strongly, moving his head slowly up and down. He closed his eyes. Wasn't that shameless...? He thought back to the times in the recent past where Carrot had walked in on (or a least caught) him masturbating; those times had been embarrassing, but thinking, just rhetorically, of what would happen if Carrot walked in and saw Marron doing that...!

 

Marron could hear Carrot's sulky voice in his head, "You've had sex."... he hadn't been right, but... Marron was at least intending to, and even that intention seemed to make Carrot feel bad... oh, but if only Carrot realised...! There was somebody willing to indulge in anything Carrot might want to do, there was somebody ready to obey Carrot's every wish, if he so commanded...! If only he would realise... if only he could accept such things...

 

"If only I could escape my thoughts," Marron thought.

 

"Ahng... gnnh... nnn-ha... nnnhh... NNN... ohh... OH... Marron... god... Marron, that... you're... you're good at that...!"

 

"Mmfn?"

 

Gateau couldn't make out what it had been that Marron had said, but he supposed it didn't matter. He lay back, his eyes half-closed and hazy. Gods, it felt good, so good... even tied up like that, it felt good...! Gateau preferred the idea of being able to hold Marron close, be able to hug him and feel him while he did things like that, but... well, if Marron wanted to tie him down on a whim, why not? There were all kinds of things out there for them to experiment with, after all. Bondage was only one of them, and for the moment, it seemed to be working quite well...

 

In everyday life, Gateau was convinced that more or less everything Marron did, was perfect. Gateau often found himself in awe of even the small things that Marron did... Marron seemed to be able to do anything, and he was able to do it well. Perhaps one wouldn't suspect, at first, that Marron should be such a sexual creature, but... as Gateau's hips shuddered once more, he felt he didn't care. Let people think what they wanted to think; if he was the only person to see Marron in such a way, so be it.

 

Marron wished the situation could be reversed. He wished that he could be the one tied down, that Gateau was the one touching him and stroking him and sucking him... he didn't want this to last much longer. Lust was clouding his mind just as much as it'd clouded Gateau's mind, and as the minutes went by, Marron found himself desiring Gateau more and more; alright, so Gateau wasn't Carrot. For the moment, that didn't matter; for the moment, there was the problem of his lust and libido, left for so long with no outlet... Marron shuddered as he heard Gateau groan. He didn't just want to taste Gateau, he wanted to feel him, be at his mercy... but how much longer might Gateau be able to last...?

 

Looking up, Marron couldn't see too much. Gateau was mostly obscured by the darkness of the night, only his sounds and movements telling Marron exactly where he lay on the bed. Marron pulled up slightly, eyeing Gateau cautiously; he pressed his hand against Gateau's erection, stroked it up and down... yes, Gateau did seem to be close, now. Very close. Too close. Marron withdrew his hand.

 

"Nnh-n-...? Ma-... Marron...?"

 

Marron was leaning over Gateau once more, reaching for the bonds that held Gateau down. Gateau could feel Marron pressed against his body, feeling weak at Marron's every move; he was so close, so badly he wanted to come...! What was Marron doing now? The fire within Gateau was flaring, his body felt so hot, and wherever Marron touched him he felt hotter... it felt so hard even to speak to ask what Marron was doing, but Gateau had to know...

 

"Marron... Marron, what... what are you doing...?"

 

Marron's voice was strangely unemotional as he worked against Gateau's bonds, "I'm untying you."

 

"I thought you wanted...?"

 

The bonds around Gateau's arms now undone, Marron moved to untie Gateau's legs. He'd moved away from Gateau's body for that, Gateau craved Marron's closeness, his warmth... he sat up against the headboard of the bed once he was free, shuddering and unable to take his eyes off of Marron.

 

"I thought you wanted me tied down..."

 

"I thought you'd want to take me."

 

"U-uh?"

 

Watching Gateau intently, Marron wondered if this would work... like this, Gateau was almost certainly going to be thinking purely in terms of what would give him his orgasm, and what would do it the quickest. Perhaps Gateau wouldn't last for much longer, but Marron didn't feel that he needed too much longer either; he was at the stage where his arousal burnt within him, and in any other circumstance he would likely have been on the brink of orgasm, but the knowledge that he couldn't gave him a strange level-headedness that his body didn't share. His body shivered also, his limbs feeling heavy... his breathing was heavy also, he leant back against the bed. It was easier to talk without having to worry about supporting his body. Feeling around on the bed for the cords, Marron took hold of them and held them up to indicate his plans to Gateau; he had to agree...

 

"Gateau, please... you're.. close, aren't you? You want to come, don't you?"

 

"Ye-yes, but... but..."

 

"But nothing. I want you to tie me down, and I want you to... I..."

 

He wanted Gateau to be like Carrot had been; he wanted Gateau to throw him against the bed and take him to the brink of his sanity, and beyond... he needed to be tied down so he didn't have the chance to cast any spells that might jeopardize the situation. Despite his need, Marron didn't quite trust his body to let itself go in that fashion. He didn't want to be refused.

 

Crawling back over to where Gateau was, Marron was already wrapping the cords around his wrists. Even if only his arms were tied down, that would be enough, wouldn't it...? Just so he couldn't put his hands together, just so he couldn't cast a seal... he wanted to be defenceless, just this once... perhaps Gateau could hold him down, the thought of Gateau holding him down and not letting him move was an attractive one, but Gateau always had the potential to move, and that had the potential to ruin the situation; no, Marron was convinced he had to be tied down.

 

"... I want you to tie me up like you were tied before... see, you only have to tie the ends to the bed... I could even reach to tie one hand down, it's not much that you have to do... you don't even have to tie my legs down if you don't want to..."

 

Pressing his arms against the headboard of the bed, Marron felt a rush of feeling as he felt Gateau pressed against him; he let out a moan as he felt himself pushed into the mattress, Gateau's weight felt pleasant to him. So strong... surely he'd be able... for once, he seemed to be listening... Gateau's hands ran down Marron's arms, going to Marron's hands, going to his wrists...

 

Marron felt the tightness of the cords loosen around his wrists; they fell back to the bed, Gateau's hands were on Marron's shoulders now. Tensing in confusion, Marron looked up to his side, trying to look at Gateau, "... What...?"

 

"Don't wanna have you tied down... you don't have to be all, y'know... can't think of the word... but, you don't gotta be tied down, do ya? I wanna hold you and have you hold me too, don't wanna feel like I'm forcing myself on you or anything... want us to be equal, ya know? B'sides... for the first time, I want it to be gentle, ya know? I wanna be able to savour things... I guess... nnnh, man, I don't know what I'm saying anymore. Leave the kinks until later though, okay? You're not one of the Misu sisters, you don't need whips and stuff to get you off..."

 

Gateau's words were lost on Marron's ears. Was he really saying things like that...? Was he really... he was refusing...?

 

Marron struggled under Gateau, rolling over onto his back; the cords fell from his wrists, Marron didn't care anymore. Didn't Gateau realise? Didn't Gateau see his point of view...? Throwing his arms around Gateau's neck, Marron let his nails dig against Gateau's shoulderblades. He threw his legs up around Gateau's hips, nudging himself against Gateau's straining manhood; he couldn't refuse, he couldn't... Gateau leant up on the bed to try to distance himself from his angry lover, but Marron was clinging to him koala-style, and wasn't going to be letting go, it seemed, any time soon.

 

"Gateau, haven't you even been listening to me?! I want, I need, for you to tie me down...! Surely you want this to happen, don't you? Surely you want to take me...? It can't happen if you don't obey me!"

 

Fingernails a little deeper, "You said you'd do anything for me... you said you'd do anything! If you'd do anything for me, be anything for me, be anyone for me... then please... can't you at least do this?!"

 

Gateau felt entirely bemused. Marron's fingernails were digging deep enough to almost draw blood, how could he suddenly be so angry...? Marron's head was pressed desperately against Gateau's neck, and the grip of Marron's legs seemed to be tighter... the feeling of Marron so close to him, it was a heady experience. If Gateau were so inclined, all he really had to do was thrust forward, and that would give Marron what he wanted... oh, but didn't they need some kind of lubrication? Gateau berated himself for not thinking about that earlier. As much as Marron wanted to be taken, Gateau was sure Marron didn't want there to be pain... or at least, he assumed so.

 

"Marron, calm down...! It's not a big deal, I just don't wanna feel like I'm victimizing you, okay? Just calm down, you're getting angry..."

 

Trying to be the voice of reason was difficult when the object of your desire was gyrating his hips against you; both seemed so determined... Gateau didn't want to hurt Marron in any way at all, but... Marron didn't seem to be listening...

 

"You don't think I know that?! Gateau, you-... you can't understand, but I need this...! I can't let myself go unless you do that, and I'm not going to let you inside me if I'm not going to climax...!"

 

Gateau stroked Marron's hair, "Marron, if you're nervous about that, you don't have to be... it'll feel good, okay? Just let me take care of you, I won't let you not come. I want to make you come, okay...? I'll make you feel wonderful!"

 

"Putting an awful lot of trust in your abilities there, Gateau... if you're going to do anything, then at least hold me down! If you're going to fuck me, then fuck me NOW!"

 

Gateau frowned and managed to wrest himself from Marron's hold. Marron let himself fall, and both looked at each other. Marron was wide-eyed and panting for breath, Gateau just stared at him. Marron really was getting hot and bothered, wasn't he... and he still seemed so angry, for reasons Gateau couldn't figure out... perhaps it would be best to just do as he asked, to tie him down, to do those sorts of things...? No, but Gateau didn't want to! No matter what Marron thought he wanted, nobody really wanted to be hurt like that, did they?

 

"Marron, no... I'm not going to hurt you like that..."

 

Marron's eyes narrowed, "Is it so hard to accept that perhaps that's what I want? That perhaps I want you to hurt me...? Why can't you just... why can't you just do as I ask?!"

 

Gateau carefully wrapped his arms around Marron, feeling him tense in his arms.

 

"Why do you want to be hurt...?"

 

Because I'm a disgusting person.

 

Because I deserve it.

 

Because I'm using you, you have at least SOME right to be angry at me.

 

Because I want to be sure that you can have absolute power over me.

 

Because I want you to be what you can never be.

 

Because I want to give you enough reason to refuse me, but still accept me.

 

Marron stared to the side, "I won't tell you why."

 

"Then I'm not going to understand you, am I... jeez, Marron, can't you just tell me things... look, let's just forget the past while, okay? I'd still like to... I still... I still want to have sex with you..."

 

Still staring to the side, looking purposefully away from Gateau, Marron didn't respond. Let him do as he wanted; there didn't seem much point in fighting against him any longer. Let it be his disappointment when he discovered that even he couldn't make Marron come.

 

Gateau felt slightly empty as he saw Marron lay there like that, not even looking at him any more... had he closed himself off? Was he so angry now as to not even speak...?

 

What kind of person had crept into the bedroom to replace Marron? Marron often got embarrassed about things, he often got flustered, but he was basically a kind person, wasn't he...? It didn't matter that it was always Gateau initiating romantic gestures, Marron always seemed to go along with them and blush and seem just as happy... he didn't seem to mind romance, even if it did embarrass him. Why did he suddenly have such violent lusts? What the hell had got into him?

 

Trying to make some kind of communication between the two of them again, Gateau tipped Marron's head back to face him, then stroked Marron's cheek with his hand while kissing Marron's lips; he felt no reaction, but... hadn't Marron been the one to want such a relationship in the first place? He had to give some kind of input to the relationship too, Gateau felt...

 

Such a soft, passionate kiss. Marron still wasn't doing or saying anything, but Gateau wanted him to. Gateau wanted to stir Marron into life again, make Marron feel exactly what Gateau himself felt... he blushed, "I... I want to make love to you, Marron."

 

It'd been strange to hear Marron say he wanted to be fucked and it'd felt stranger still for Gateau to ask something like that, but... though embarrassing, it was true. He didn't want to do anything violent to Marron, tie him down or hold him down or whatever... thinking of things like that, he was too reminded of that time back in Primetown when that Sorcerer had twisted with his mind, that time when Marron had been tied down... perhaps that was where Marron's thoughts came from? Perhaps the continued working against such depraved Sorcerers was beginning to take it's toll on Marron. Maybe he'd even got some strange ideas from working alongside the Misu sisters for so long? Perhaps Marron had been watching the Misu sisters beat Carrot up for so long, he'd come to the conclusion that love had to be violent... Gateau's heart went out to Marron, if that was the case. Marron surely wasn't so twisted, was he...? If that was what he really, really thought... Gateau wanted to prove to Marron that love didn't have to be violent.

 

Still receiving no reaction, Gateau sighed and pulled away. He moved to stand up, to find his nightshirt.

 

"Look, I... I don't know what you're thinking, or anything, but... um... I just want to go get some oil or something. I want you so much, Marron...! I just... as much as I want you, I don't want it to hurt, alright? Asking me to hurt you... that's asking too much..."

 

Gateau pulled his nightshirt on and headed out of the room, saying something about how he'd be back soon, so Marron should wait for him.

 

Marron closed his eyes tightly.

 

So Gateau was at least sure that he wanted to have sex; that was a step in the right direction. Getting lubrication also sounded like a good idea... but, the way Gateau had been talking... he couldn't hurt Marron...? If he couldn't go so far as to hurt Marron, then who was to say he could do anything else to Marron, either? Wanting things to be equal... no, he was wrong. Things could never be like that, not for as long as Marron was like he was. Being equal like that... that implied degrees of love and trust Marron knew he couldn't grant to Gateau.

 

Opening his eyes again, Marron watched the door for a few moments, seeing if Gateau was to return yet. It seemed he hadn't... he was so set on being so gentle, all of that... Marron sat up and found his own nightshirt, rubbing over his forehead with the palm of his hand; if he remained in that room, it was all too likely that he was to lose his virginity in ways he wasn't too keen on. It was possible that if he just said 'no' to Gateau, then Gateau would stop... but Marron had been the one to start in the first place, Marron had been saying for almost the whole time that he'd wanted to... if he suddenly said he wanted to stop, Marron had a feeling that he'd at least owe Gateau an explanation, an explanation he just wasn't able to give.

 

Pulling his nightshirt over his head and wincing as he stood up, Marron carefully padded over to the door of the room. He cursed his nightshirt for feeling so uncomfortable. The situation being as it had been, things being as they were, Marron still retained his erection... more than feeling aroused now though, he felt frustration more than anything else; he'd been sure Gateau would be able to grant him his release, but it seemed that even that was impossible... Marron quietly opened the door, stepped out into the corridor. It seemed empty, for now... Gateau's bedroom was in that direction, so... to go the other direction... it meant that Marron couldn't return to his own bedroom just yet, and he knew that once Gateau found that Marron had gone, he'd likely start looking for him... perhaps it was the coward's way out, but Marron wanted to escape, just for the time being. He could assess the situation better once he'd slept, once arousal had moved from his mind, once he could move his body without trembling. Escaping seemed a good idea, and sleep seemed the best idea. There were enough empty bedrooms in Eden for there to be at least one for Marron to go to... he quietly left along the right side of the corridor, wanting to at least have a corner turned before Gateau could realise his disappearance.

 

Quietly, quietly, Marron continued. After a few moments he could hear Gateau further along up the corridor, opening the door, closing it again... Marron knew he didn't have a lot of time. He mentally tried to work out his position in Eden, dark as it was. Walking along until he came to a bedroom that he presumed was empty, Marron quickly opened the door, stepped inside, closed the door, and locked it. There, he was safe.

 

Letting out a deep breath, Marron supposed that he should remain in that room for the night. Going anywhere back along the corridor risked discovery from Gateau, and if he did return to his own bedroom, well... Marron didn't quite trust himself in his brother's presence, not with his current state of mind and body. Best to get what sleep he could while he could; he just hoped that Gateau wouldn't find him...

 

He was alone again. Marron felt his legs shake as he leant against the door... his body felt so tired, now. He felt so torn. On one hand, his arousal still had prime hold, he still wanted an orgasm if he could get one... but on the other hand, he wanted to sleep, plain and simple. Throwing off his nightshirt, Marron wandered over to the bed, and threw himself upon it... strange, the sheets were crumpled. Had somebody been here previously...? Well, it wasn't impossible. The empty bedrooms probably weren't laundered every day.

 

Marron wrapped his hand - the hand which had touched his brother, still - around his hot erection. His whole body let out a shudder when he did so, he groaned softly... yes, his body was weak, so weak. If he couldn't rely on himself for orgasm, who could he rely on...? Obviously not Gateau. Marron wanted to think that he could rely on Carrot, but... not for that. He could never be called upon to do that...

 

Pushing his hips to meet his hand, Marron let out little pained gasps with each movement. It really did hurt now, bondage and bestial lust or no... the human body wasn't meant to stay on the edge of climax like that, surely? Perhaps if he pushed his body just that bit too far, if it hurt just a little too much, then perhaps his body would allow him his release... even if he was too pained to feel pleasure, just the relief from letting go... his other hand gripped the bedsheets, he cried out to the silence of the room.

 

"HnnnNNNnNn... oh... oh god... niisan...! Niisan... NIISAN... niisan... ...it hurts... please..."

 

In Marron's mind, Carrot was with him, knelt beside him, watching him with sympathetic eyes... "I'll take the pain away, otouto...!" he'd say, and his very touch would be soothing, calming and magical... he'd take the pain away... he'd triplicate the pleasure... "I belong to you, niisan...!" Marron would say. Climbing on the bed to be next to Marron, Carrot would laugh, "Yes, yes you do"...

 

Milphey watched, eyebrow firmly raised. When he'd heard footsteps skulking around outside, he'd quietly risen from his bed, gone closer to the door... it was quite late, why was anybody wandering around at all? At the time, Milphey had cursed himself for being so susceptible to small noises while he slept; such a skill was important in the event of danger, but when it was probably just someone taking a midnight walk, or sleepwalking, or just getting a drink... that was when it became tiresome.

 

However, to Milphey's surprise, whoever it had been who'd been skulking around... they'd ended up coming right into the room Milphey had chosen to sleep in that night. Standing directly next to the doorframe, Milphey supposed he hadn't been noticed... Marron had walked right into the centre of the room, before throwing off his nightshirt and leaping onto the bed. Milphey had just watched; he'd only been in that bed a few minutes ago...!

 

Then Marron started masturbating, and Milphey hadn't been entirely sure what to do. Marron obviously was completely unaware of his presence, so... was he just supposed to stand there and watch? When was the right moment to step forward and say something? Was there a right moment for that? Still, Marron would likely be angry either if Milphey said something immediately or if he waited for the end... it was hard to know whether to stay silent or say something. The bottom line was, Marron was a very enchanting youth in usual day-to-day events... when he was suddenly naked and attempting to reach orgasm in front of you without realising, well, he became just that bit more attractive.

 

It was the things that Marron said that pricked Milphey's curiosity the most. Like that... he was calling for his niisan, for Carrot? Saying that it hurt... either Marron was masturbating over his brother or Carrot had done something that'd disturbed Marron into running off and doing such things... Milphey wasn't sure which was more likely. Would Marron really masturbate over his brother...? He licked his lips nervously. Just how was he supposed to let Marron know he was there without offending him...?

 

Closing his eyes and sighing softly, Milphey stepped forward.

 

"Marron-chan...?"

 

Marron was dead to the world, "NIISAN... hnn... HNN... please... oh god please... please... NIISAN..."

 

Whatever pain it was Marron was going through, those cries were not entirely painful. Milphey's eyes flickered heavenward, he reached out and touched Marron's shoulder.

 

"MARRON-CHAN!"

 

"-!"

 

Marron stopped abruptly, realising, with a paralysing sinking feeling, that he'd been caught.

 

"Mi-... Mi..."

 

"I'm Mi-l-ph-ey, Marron-chan."

 

"Milphey-... what... how... I... I locked the door...!"

 

"Yes, but I was in the room all the time. I was sleeping in here! Then you just barged in, ignoring me totally, and started wanking on my bed! What were you trying for, a seduction attempt or something...? If you were trying to seduce me, you might have wanted to wait until I was actually in bed first... I'll get in right now if you want me to, you can try again!"

 

Marron pulled away quickly from Milphey's hand on his shoulder, and pulled the top sheet around his naked body; his mind was racing. Oh god. So Milphey had been there all along? That means... that meant he'd been there, he'd been standing there all along, that meant he must have seen, must have heard... what? What had he seen, what had he heard? He'd been there all along, so... every... thing...

 

Oh.

 

Oh god.

 

Marron stared at Milphey as if he were a ghost for a few seconds before pulling up the sheets around him, an irrational attempt to hide. Perhaps if Marron hid himself then Milphey would go away. Maybe Milphey hadn't heard anything at all...? What if he had, though? What if he'd heard Marron calling out his brother's name and ran off and told Carrot, suddenly?... No, no, Milphey wouldn't do something like that. Marron hoped not, in any case. Though, what if he did...? No, he wouldn't...! Would he...?

 

When Marron spoke, his voice was quiet and scared, "... Milphey... how much of that... did you... you... you heard... what...?"

 

Milphey knelt on the centre of the bed, looking as sympathetic and serious as he could with his hair down whilst wearing only a very short nightshirt. He sighed deeply, thinking that perhaps he shouldn't have been quite so flirtatious just then... it obviously hadn't put Marron at any ease.

 

"Marron-chan, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to perve on you, or anything... I know you're a very private person, I know I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time... everybody has to do things like that at some point in their lives...! You're still a teenager, hormones all over the place-"

 

Marron pulled the sheet away from his face, suddenly angry as he stared at Milphey.

 

"What did you HEAR, Milphey?!"

 

Considering his words, Milphey stared down at the bed for a few moments. What was Marron expecting him to say? If he said he'd heard nothing, then Marron would likely call him a liar... but, anything other than that... well, obviously none of that had been meant for his ears, but...

 

"... You were crying out Carrot-chan's name... weren't you...?"

 

"... you heard..."

 

Milphey attempted to smile, "You were being so loud, it was hard not to..."

 

Marron had given up trying to hide behind the sheet. He had his knees brought up to his chest, the bedsheet fell over his knees... he stared at them blankly, unsure what to say, what to do. Hadn't he thought to himself one time that, if one person knew his secret, it was as bad as the entire world knowing? That for one person to know made the secret no longer secret... it was so disgusting, surely Milphey would be disgusted! They'd talked so candidly about Marron's sexual non-starters with Gateau that one time, but knowing that somebody lusted after their brother... that, that was something different entirely.

 

"I'm... I'm a disgusting person."

 

"Marron-... chan?"

 

"I'm a disgusting person. You heard me...! You heard me calling out my brother's name... yes, I lust after my brother. My own brother... I want him to take me to his bed and claim me for his own, I want to be able... I want to be able to be with him..."

 

Milphey realised that Marron was getting flustered. He put his hand on Marron's shoulder once more, "Marron-chan, remember to breathe, please. Take deep breaths, be calm, be calm... in... out... alright...? You don't have to talk about anything if you don't want to. I wouldn't dream of telling anybody of what I just saw, the secret is quite safe with me."

 

Somehow that didn't quite seem to put Marron at ease. Marron just stared at Milphey, a look of faint disgust on his face. Milphey shifted under that glare, "What? What is it?"

 

"You act as if I told you nothing at all! Are you not the least bit shocked? Don't you find it disgusting?"

 

"That you love Carrot-chan? I'm not surprised at all. Actually, a lot of things make sense now..."

 

Milphey didn't like to say that that had been exactly the conclusion that he and Carrot had come to a while previous; such things were confidential. Milphey couldn't help but remember what it was that Carrot had said that one time, though... about Marron not loving Gateau because he loved Carrot, about Marron going to Gateau for sex because he couldn't get that from Carrot... if Marron honestly did love Carrot, and loved him in that way, well, that statement was obviously a lot truer than either had realised.

 

It made Milphey curious. If all of that was true, then where did Gateau stand within it all...? Obviously, everybody was keeping secrets from everybody else. Marron didn't know of Carrot's suspicions, Carrot didn't know of Marron's love, Gateau didn't know much at all. Milphey couldn't help but feel the intrigue.

 

How did all of that lead to Marron running into Milphey's bedroom in the middle of the night, though?

 

"... but why are you here telling me this? If you're going to try to tell me something, please, start from the beginning. I can support you no matter what, but... I'd like to know the situation, if you were willing to tell me..."

 

Marron still regarded Milphey with suspicion, "I... I don't know..."

 

"Don't say anything you don't want to, Marron-chan. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have tried to pry. Though, what I was trying to say, I suppose... why are you in my bedroom, and not in Gateau-chan's bedroom, or even your own bedroom? Something had to have happened tonight to disturb you from your rest..."

 

Sensing that Milphey wanted to return to his bed, Marron moved to the bottom corner of the bed, throwing the sheet over him to cover him as he went. Milphey noticed the gesture, and climbed under the thicker sheets... he moved over to one side, and patted the space next to him. There was likely just enough space, it didn't hurt just to ask...

 

"Come come, Marron-chan. You don't need to cower in the corner all the time, come snuggle next to me!"

 

"..."

 

"I won't try anything strange on you, I promise. I just want to know what's going on... I don't want you to get cold, sitting there in only a sheet."

 

"I... I'm still..."

 

"Mmn?"

 

The way Marron blushed and looked to the side was so cute, to Milphey's eyes... ah yes, the way Marron had been so taken by his arousal earlier... perhaps that was what he meant... but, Marron looked so lonely, sitting there like that, his hair strewn over his shoulders and face, the way he hunched in on himself... and the new knowledge that Milphey had, knowing that Marron indeed wanted his brother... poor boy. Taking so much on his shoulders... if anything, he needed a good hug. A nice warm hug and someone to just talk to about everything... somebody couldn't carry secrets like that forever without cracking eventually. Milphey wondered if Marron had already cracked, or if that was in the future...

 

"You're still horny, are you? Well, I don't mind that. I can help you with that if you want me to, but I'm sure you'd rather I ignored it, I can do that too. Lie on your back, I'll just be next to you after all..."

 

Still somewhat suspicious, Marron carefully crawled back to where Milphey was indicating. The sheets were thrown back to accept him beneath them, Marron wrapped the thinner sheet tightly around him before moving where Milphey wanted him. Remembering his nightshirt, he thought about if he should mention that... likely it was still on the floor somewhere... Marron didn't quite want to move to get it. Being next to Milphey like that, it was quite warm, the sheets and blankets were enough to retain that warmth.

 

"Comfortable?"

 

"Ah... y-yes..."

 

"Weren't you complaining of something hurting, earlier?"

 

"That's..."

 

"It's not a medical problem, is it?! Am I putting myself at risk, being close to you like this?!"

 

"Milphey, QUIET! It's... it's nothing like that!"

 

"Alright, alright. So... it's hard to know where to start to even ask, really. Just... just tell me what you want me to know, if there's anything you have to talk about, get off your chest..."

 

"I've loved my brother since I was a child."

 

"As would be expected."

 

Marron stared up at the dark ceiling, "No, but... more than that... I loved him in an innocent way, nobody would begrudge that of me, but... also in such... less innocent ways... I was only a child in the past, I didn't know my feelings a lot of the time, but... as time went by, they only grew, and I... I... I gave myself this problem..."

 

Milphey remained respectfully quiet, feeling that he should just listen to Marron for the time being.

 

"I... for a long time, when I would... touch myself, I would only think of him. For quite some time I thought that that was a wrong way to behave, but then I came to know myself a little better, and I realised I couldn't exactly help what I felt, so... like that, I touched myself, and I thought about my brother... just, after a while, I worried that acting in such ways was a weakness, allowing myself to be controlled by such feelings... I wanted to tame my libido, not have my libido tame me...! So after some time, I managed that. I could put my feelings far enough out of my mind to not have to worry about them... soon it became second nature, ignoring any arousal I might feel, dismissing my desire... I didn't want to be caught in a compromising situation on missions, you understand..."

 

"Right..."

 

"After a while of that kind of training, it seemed... it seemed that, what I'd planned to do, had worked wonderfully... that... even if I desired climax so greatly, I... no matter what I thought of, no matter how I touched myself, it... I... I can't feel orgasm, Milphey."

 

"Gosh..."

 

"So you see... that is why I pursued Gateau... one time he happened to find me touching myself, though thankfully he didn't hear me crying out my brother's name... somehow, I just... I saw him differently, that night. I thought that, perhaps, it might take the touch of somebody else for me to reach my climax, and since it's no secret that Gateau is somewhat enamoured with me, I thought that, perhaps, I could reach orgasm, with him..."

 

"... And did you?"

 

Marron shook his head, "Unfortunately not. You see... I want to, but... that first time... it was on that very hot night, you remember? I ended up sleeping for a long time, then I practiced magic, knocked myself out... remember? The reason I was unconscious that time... I... I suppose I became scared. It was just strange to be in a situation like that all of a sudden, and Gateau was trying to pleasure me, but I... it's like I couldn't bring myself to indulge in that pleasure... I ended up casting a powerful barrier spell against him, that's the last thing I remember. It was something I did almost unconsciously, to push him away... my hands just drifted together, I cast the spell before I realised..."

 

"Ah... I remember that time... everyone was so worried, Marron-chan...! We wondered if somebody had broken in to Eden and attacked you perhaps... but I suppose Gateau-chan wouldn't speak the truth about something private like that..."

 

"I don't know if even he knew what happened. Since then, he and I... there are different things we've tried to do, at different times... I... I always end up talking harshly to him, nothing ever manages to happen... you see, I... I want him to tie me down, Milphey. If he ties me down, if my arms are bound, then there's no chance of me casting a spell - I would be entirely at his mercy... it would show he had power over me, I could submit to him entirely..."

 

Talking in that way caused Marron to blush, to glance to the side, away from Milphey. Milphey reached out and stroked at Marron's cheek.

 

"So, Marron-chan has a bondage fetish? Kinky..."

 

"I don't know if it's so much as that-"

 

"I thought the definition of fetish was something like 'a deviation in sexual practices with which a person cannot reach climax', or something... hold on, perhaps I have a dictionary in here..."

 

"That's not necessary, Milphey. That, though... that's how come I'm here at this moment. Gateau and I, I... I was teasing him, I suppose. I brought him to the brink of climax, I tied him to the bed and did that, then I stopped, hoping he'd be far-gone enough to do the same kinds of things to me... but... he didn't, even when his mind was taken by arousal, he was still able to say he wanted to be gentle, and that he didn't want to hurt me... I became angry, I said I needed him to do things like that, but that I wouldn't say why... he... he went off to find lubrication, that's when I came here. I know I'm being a coward, I know I'm hiding from him, but... I... either I want it to be exactly how I want it to be, or not at all... does that make sense?"

 

Milphey sighed an exaggerated sigh, "Ah-ah, so you have it all planned out... you're sure you'll be able to have an orgasm if Gateau-chan did tie you down and such?"

 

"I... I'm not exactly sure, but... you see... my dreams, I... the only times I have felt my climax in recent months has been in my sleep, after such erotic dreams they drive me mad... this one dream I had, I-"

 

Marron stopped abruptly. Milphey glanced at Marron, "Mmm?"

 

"It... it's embarrassing to talk about... I... basically, I was tied down... I was the slave to so many people, it was dark, I couldn't even see who I was slave to, but... I was taken so violently, I did such depraved things... I was their slave, I brought them pleasure... somehow, I derived pleasure from it also... in the morning, I found that I'd had an orgasm and my brother had noticed, I was so embarrassed...!"

 

"So you wish to relive the dream...?"

 

"I... something like that, yes. As I said, I cannot be sure if it'd work, but... for all I can think of, it's the only thing that might... and Gateau, he... he's the person who'd be most likely, so I thought, to help me... and he's so strong and so powerful, if he really did want to overpower me, I'm sure he'd be quite capable... but he doesn't want to, not even with my consent..."

 

"Why don't you just talk to him about this, as you've talked to me about it? You don't need to mention Carrot-chan at all... just tell him that you have this problem, and you think you have a solution, and that you need his co-operation. If he understood the situation, perhaps he'd be more likely to do what you want him to do...?"

 

Marron leant his hands behind his head, leaning on them. He sighed.

 

"I, I suppose... it just seems so callous to my mind, though... any way you look at it, the relationship with Gateau is... that is... I'm using him entirely for my carnal needs, am I not...? That's quite unforgivable, and I know I'd be angry with somebody, angry and upset, if they used me for that purpose... I'm sure Gateau would put up with it because it was me though, and that... I feel terrible for that... and as for talking with him about such things, that's... that's difficult. I don't seem to be able to even broach the subject other than in that situation, and by that time, it's too late... he likes to act romantically, and while I appreciate his behaviour somewhat, I can't bring myself to react to what he says or does..." another sigh, "I suppose it just leads back to what my brother said to me one time."

 

"And what was that?"

 

"He said I shouldn't have sex with somebody I didn't love. I told him he was a hypocrite, that he would have sex with any amount of women if he wished to and he wouldn't care, but... it seems that, however he wishes to act, he at least cares about what I do... and I can't tell him that... I can't tell him that he is the root of my problems... I can't do that with the person I love because he is the person I love, and he... he would never agree, he would never want to do things like that with me! I'm his brother, I'm another man, he... he would never accept anything I had to offer him..."

 

It was incredibly hard for Milphey to hold his tongue, saying that just perhaps, if Marron asked, Carrot might just accept... or at least consider the matter for a little longer than Marron seemed to think he would. After all, Carrot's concerns seemed to stem from some kind of jealousy towards Gateau... even if his thoughts towards Marron weren't sexual, he was at least so concerned about his little brother... that concern had even brought him to Milphey in search of sexual relief, and now it seemed that the things Milphey and Carrot had talked about were in fact true... Milphey wasn't sure if Carrot would want any of that conversation repeated to anybody, though. Least of all to Marron.

 

"... my brother knows at least that there is somebody I love, and that that person isn't Gateau... I can't tell him who that person in fact is, though. I won't tell him. I don't want to scare him or put him at any unease... I don't quite know how to cope with this situation with Gateau, but... I seem to have ended up in a situation with no possible way to resolve it... I don't want to tell my brother of my feelings, but... I don't want to hurt Gateau, either. It seems that at least the latter one is impossible to avoid. Milphey-... what should I do?"

 

Milphey watched Marron with a sympathetic eye for a moment.

 

"For the moment, I think you should just sleep, Marron-chan. We'll have a look at the situation in the morning, and see if the sunlight can pour any insight onto it... at the moment, I'm not sure. I'll think about things, though... perhaps there'll be something we can come up with."

 

"I think Gateau will want to see me in the morning..."

 

"Do you want to see him?"

 

"... Not really..."

 

Milphey hugged Marron's shoulders in a sidewards hug, "Then you don't have to. I'll keep you here for as long as I can, alright? Though, if Gateau-chan came knocking on the door, perhaps it'd be harder to hide you... even so. We'll deal with that in the morning, alright? Try to have a good sleep in the meantime, though. It's quite late."

 

Marron made a vague noise, and didn't say anything more after that. Milphey watched him for a short while, waiting until he was sure Marron was asleep... it sounded as if Marron had had quite a tiring night, though. Milphey didn't blame him for sleeping quickly.