Sorcerer Hunters Fan Fiction ❯ Perpetual Thoughts ❯ Repercussions Of The Night Before ( Chapter 10 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: Tabi 
Gateau's suspicions of Marron's motives only deepen as his unease grows - not only is there that matter to think of, but what about Marron and Milphey? Is Milphey now a threat? It's hard to know what to think anymore. In an attempt to fix the situation, Carrot manages to trick both Marron and Gateau into going down to the town with him; he urges them to make a decision on their relationship, to actually talk about the things that are troubling them. Eventually, Marron and Gateau do so.
Anime/Manga: Sorcerer Hunters Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Hentai / Drama | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 08.29.2005 | Pages: 35 | Words: 42.3K | Visits: 202 | Status: Completed
Gateau's suspicions of Marron's motives only deepen as his unease grows - not only is there that matter to think of, but what about Marron and Milphey? Is Milphey now a threat? It's hard to know what to think anymore. In an attempt to fix the situation, Carrot manages to trick both Marron and Gateau into going down to the town with him; he urges them to make a decision on their relationship, to actually talk about the things that are troubling them. Eventually, Marron and Gateau do so.
Anime/Manga: Sorcerer Hunters Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Hentai / Drama | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 08.29.2005 | Pages: 35 | Words: 42.3K | Visits: 202 | Status: Completed
Outside, it really was a lovely day. The blue sky above disturbed only by the occasional puffy white cloud... a few birds would fly over Gateau's field of vision, chirping and singing as they went... the sun was strong, and it felt hot, even in the shade. It was one of those summery days, one of those days where it'd be quite nice to just go out somewhere, maybe have a picnic or something... or, as was more likely with the Sorcerer Hunters, find a party somewhere, go there, and get completely and utterly drunk. Something like that.
Gateau could only stare at the sky. He was sat underneath one of the larger trees on the grounds of Eden, just watching the world go by. Not that much in the world seemed to go by under his gaze, but still... there wasn't much else to do. Usually by this point he would have invited Marron out somewhere, they'd be walking someplace and chatting and just those nice little things...
Things like that probably wouldn't be happening again for a while.
Leaning his hands down on the ground, Gateau didn't know what to feel. He'd gone to Marron with all the intention in the world of finally sorting out just what the hell always seemed to happen between them... he'd sort of got there, even if he'd got angry about it he'd at least managed to let Marron know his point of view... then he'd ended up snapping and any rational thought had gone out of the window.
It was the sort of thing Marron had always been on about though, hadn't it...? The whole angry-overpowering kind of thing. In that sort of situation, Marron had always seemed to have been leading Gateau on to that kind of mindframe, though Gateau had always been determined to be a voice of reason and not give in to that kind of thing.
Then, he pretty much had given in.
That rush of power... he'd almost been overpowered himself, by those thoughts... Marron, always so sly and manipulating. He could have taken that chance to prove to Marron that he wouldn't let himself be used and manipulated, that he was a strong person in his own right and not up for Marron's weird little mind-games... they could have fucked, and it would have put an end to whatever Marron had been cooking up in his mind for so long.
That person that things always seemed to revolve around... it seemed a difficult situation, especially not knowing who that person was. Gateau didn't know if it'd help even if he did know, but Marron seemed so stubborn about that person...! Determined not to mention their name, determined not to tell them of his feelings... why the hell not?
Again, Gateau's mind went over who it could be. It certainly wasn't him; that was one of the basic problems. Milphey... it probably wasn't Milphey. If Marron had slept with Milphey then surely something would have happened there, and if Milphey were the one he really wanted then he wouldn't have been angsting lyrical come the morning, unless something bad had happened; Milphey appearing so randomly that morning said to Gateau that at least Milphey wasn't angry about anything. So... who else was there? The person in question was always a 'he', so it wasn't any of the girls. Who else...? Gateau racked his mind. Sirius? Was it Sirius? He was certainly off-limits as far as things like that went, he was so amazingly in love with Dota and everything, so... maybe... still seemed a little weird, though. Maybe Big Mama's other Haz Knights? Gateau felt that Marron probably knew them just as well as everybody else did, so... unless it was a weird physical crush or something, probably not them, either.
Whenever he got thinking about that, Gateau's mind always came up with one answer without fail, one answer that seemed to fit all the current events, but just... no...
Again, the thought of Carrot occurred to Gateau's mind.
Of course, that was a stupid thought. Out of anybody in Eden, Marron was not going to fall for his own brother. Of course not. Of course not! What a silly thought. Not worth even entertaining.
Still...
It still fitted...
This person obviously meant a lot to Marron. So much so that they prevented Marron from doing other things. Marron seemed to think of little else but that person... and what person could occupy Marron's mind like Carrot? That would also explain why Marron was so loathe to tell that person of his feelings; given Carrot's girlchasing nature, even if they weren't brothers then a relationship would be more or less impossible... on that same token, even if Carrot had even the slightest interest in men, they were brothers, so that counted anything out there.
Gateau really wanted to say to his mind that that was too weird, that Marron wouldn't fall for his own brother, definitely not. Just too weird.
However, Marron himself was also weird, his thoughts and his motivations and his behaviour... the stranger Marron acted, the more plausible an attraction to Carrot seemed.
"Gateau? Gateau...?"
"Marron, it's not Carrot you love, is it?"
"NO!"
"S-sorry, it... it was a stupid thought, I, I, forget I said anything..."
"Ahahaha... Gateau... what a foolish thought... what a disgusting thought...! My brother...! What kind of... why... why would you think that I might feel like that for my brother?"
He'd denied it so quickly that time... but that didn't really say anything. It wasn't as if, if it were the truth, Marron were just going to come out with 'oh yes, you worked it out, I am in love with my brother! Well done Gateau' or anything. Obviously something like that was a secret... a deep secret. Something Marron would be loathe to tell anybody... after all, was there any easy way to tell somebody you lusted after your brother?
... "C'mon, I'm sure he does it all the time, I always used to tickle Eclair to piss her off. You're always so quiet and stuff, I bet Carrot loves to tickle you!"
"I... fail to see the connection..."
"Maybe he does it to punish you, huh? Naughty-waughty otouto... tickleickleickleickle..."
"AHHHNN... NNN... NIISAN...!! Niii... NIISAN!!"
No matter how much Marron denied things, there were still those times... just little things he said or did that made Gateau step back and think, and that had been one of those times. Perhaps it had been dangerous to take on a brotherly pose in the first place, but the way Marron had cried Carrot's title there... it'd been far too passionate to call it off as nothing, as Marron had done that time...
There was always something warm about the way Marron said 'niisan', though. Unless he was berating Carrot of course, but that was rare... just... the ways in which he smiled when he talked about his brother, the smiles he'd give to Carrot, that innocence he seemed to radiate... it really was quite amazing, wasn't it?
An innocent love... for one's brother...
That was all it could be. Just an innocent love... perhaps Marron didn't like the idea of Carrot getting with anybody else...? Perhaps he was possessive. Maybe it wasn't sexual at all... the idea wasn't impossible. Nobody would have argued that Marron would likely stay by his brother's side until the end of time if he was given the choice... and even if he wasn't allowed, likely he'd fight and fight until he was allowed. Nobody was more doomed than somebody who stood in the path between Marron and his brother.
"Hey, Marron! Carrot's asleep?"
"A-ah, Gateau... y-yes..."
"Not disturbin' ya, am I?"
"No, not at all."
That time in the park... the mental image still played itself through to Gateau's mind every so often. That time when Marron and Carrot had been there, Carrot had been asleep, and Marron had been just sitting there with him, so calm and relaxed... Carrot's sleeping head in his lap, stroking Carrot's hair, holding his hand, saying things Gateau couldn't hear... and they'd looked so relaxed, so peaceful. Of course, Marron could afford to be as loving as he wished while Carrot was asleep.
Even though Marron had said that Gateau hadn't been disturbing anything, he couldn't help but feel that that'd been a lie... there'd just been something about the way Marron had spoken, that too-eager smile... even apart from Marron's behaviour, Gateau would have felt he was disturbing something anyway. Even if it was just a random display of brotherly love... it had still been a private moment between the Glacé brothers, a private moment Gateau felt he shouldn't really have disturbed just for his own ends...
It was difficult to equate the Marron from that mental image to the rampant predatory Marron that often reigned when he and Gateau got together. That kind of Marron, that sneaky, seductive, sensual Marron... Carrot probably didn't even know that a Marron like that existed. Likely nobody did, nobody except for Gateau. Gateau felt he should feel proud of that knowledge. He didn't.
Marron had so many facets to him it was difficult sometimes to look at his physical shape and see him all as one person... when he was quietly studying magic, he was different to how he was when he was psychotically protecting Carrot. Which was different to how he was when he was happy and relaxing with his friends. Which, again, was different to how he was when he was maddeningly horny and alone in a room with Gateau. The Marron that protected his brother, that was so different to the Marron that teased and manipulated, wasn't it? The pure love for one's sibling... that was so different to the bondage scenario that had happened last night... Marron's calm and happy smile held no knowledge of his insatiable lusts...
Gateau shifted around a little on the grass and let out a deep sigh as he fell onto his back, closing his eyes. It was all so complicated to think about... surely it could be simple, too? Marron was a headfuck. That was the basic truth as far as Gateau saw it. A beautiful headfuck, but still basically a headfuck. Maybe even one he'd be better off without? Gateau really wasn't sure.
On that first viewing of Marron, Gateau never would have foreseen any of what had happened. Back then, things had been so simple... Marron was a beautiful person. Look at me, beautiful person!... Marron hadn't, though. So then it'd turned into a little game, chase after Marron and see how far you could go before you got hit away. Some days were better than others, but Gateau never really made any progress. Fine. He could go on for as long as Marron wanted.
Somewhere along the line, that had unquestionably deepened. That beautiful person had pervaded Gateau's thoughts and dreams, and for a while, Gateau had thought that he may just have had a chance... that didn't help. Thinking he was in with a definite chance, Gateau had let his guard down and allowed his thoughts to multiply and run away with themselves. No inhibitions anymore, because Marron was willing to be his boyfriend! Result!
That had, however, gone wrong. Far from the easygoing love-love relationship they should have had, Marron turned into the dominating pervert master, and somehow their relationship was more that of master and slave than equals... Marron as the master and Gateau as the slave, Marron wanting the situation to be reversed, Gateau not wanting that situation at all...
And that was before the whole matter of the other person Marron loved came into play.
How tiresome.
What was there left to do? It seemed sensible to perhaps call everything off with Marron. Gateau had thought he'd wanted a relationship with Marron, discovered that Marron was a headcase like no other he'd met, figured out that a relationship between them was impossible. It was, wasn't it? So, yes, ending it seemed sane. Even though Marron seemed to have been against that idea, for whatever passed as reason in that mind of his. If he was really so against the things Gateau spoke about, surely even he could realise it'd be best off to stop...
Gateau wondered how far he might have got with that idea if Milphey hadn't appeared. Would he have been able to walk out on Marron? Perhaps. However, selfish jealousy had clouded his mind...
Oh. There was that.
Marron and Milphey. Last night, they'd slept together, it seemed. Enough for Marron to get Milphey's sheets messed up, at any rate. That thought angered and confused Gateau more than anything else Marron had done up until that point... anything else was annoying and confusing but to say and do all the things Marron had said and done and then, even after all of that, to go off and sleep with somebody completely different...!? What the hell was Marron thinking!? Going on about all the things he wanted to do with Gateau, all the things he wanted Gateau to do to him... and after all that, he'd gone off with Milphey? Oh, because Milphey was obviously so much more capable of such things.
A moment of thought... Gateau couldn't really say either way if Milphey was or wasn't... maybe he was.
That wasn't the point, though! The point was, well...
Gateau opened his eyes.
What was the point...
If their relationship was a normal one then it would have been a normal case of unfaithfulness. He and Marron in a relationship, Marron sleeping with somebody not in that relationship, cue anger et cetera. Made sense. However, anything with Marron involved seemed to gain too many complications and layers to really make sense any more... Gateau just couldn't figure how Marron could be so hellbent on one way of thinking then suddenly disregard all of that to go off with somebody else. After all, Milphey wasn't who Marron loved, was he? It didn't make any sense...
Standing up, Gateau wondered where Milphey was. It was irrational, but... he wanted to hear something from Milphey's own lips. Maybe Milphey didn't know much of the situation at all, but... in any case, maybe there was something he could lend to the situation. Maybe something he said casually would make it all click in Gateau's mind.
Gateau didn't have to look far; just as he was dusting himself down and getting ready to walk off, he heard a voice call for him.
"Ah! Gateau-chaaaan!!"
He looked up, "Oh... Milphey..."
Milphey's smile was as wide as it usually was; Gateau couldn't help but set himself on edge. Milphey knew of his and Marron's relationship (such as it was), didn't he? Everyone else seemed to. And even with that, last night, he'd...!
"Ahaha, I was looking for you, or for Marron-chan. Marron-chan's sleeping at the moment though, so... I thought I'd come and find you!"
"Ah..."
"Mmm. Just thought I'd apologize for earlier... I mean, you and Marron-chan were clearly in the middle of something, I should have waited until later on to find out about that sheet. It wasn't as if it was a very important matter, after all... oh, but it's a lovely day, isn't it? Let's sit down and talk a bit."
Milphey grabbed hold of Gateau's arm and led him back down to underneath the tree; Gateau let himself be dragged, "... talk about what..."
"Oh, I don't know! The nice sunny day, anything really. I don't have anything else to do."
"Milphey, how the hell can you come over here all bouncing and happy?! Are you trying to pretend like nothing happened, or what?"
Gateau couldn't help but get riled, and quickly. Milphey was quite surprised; he let go of Gateau's arm once they were both sat down, and stared curiously.
"Gateau-chan?"
"You know what I mean...! Last night... you and Marron... even though Marron and me... even though there was something goin' on there and you knew there was somethin' goin' on there, you still did that...!"
Milphey's voice was delicate, "I still did what, Gateau-chan...?"
"You still slept with him!"
"He seemed like he needed somebody to talk to, so I listened to him... he was quite fraught. I happened to catch him by accident, as a matter of fact... indeed, we shared a bed, I felt it would be better for him if he just slept, but... you seem quite highly strung, Gateau-chan. You'd begrudge Marron a night with somebody else when he's so frazzled?"
"When I haven't even slept with him you'd think I'd be just a little pissed off!"
A frown, "I thought you spent many nights together...!"
"Not so much as you'd think, he prefers to share a room with Carrot still, likes to make sure he's not gonna be lonely or whatever the hell all that means. Even when he does spend the night with me, it's usually just 'cause he fell asleep on my bed or whatever, it's not like we've actually had sex...!"
"Gateau-chan. What exactly are you angry about here?"
"You and Marron, having sex behind everybody's backs!"
Milphey's facial expression changed suddenly; he looked almost angry, to Gateau. He couldn't understand that. Out of the two of them, surely Gateau was the one with the right to be angry?
"That's what you believe?"
"Even Marron said you slept together...!"
"In just what context? Gateau-chan, I can't help but think you're quickly jumping to conclusions, here. It's true that we spent the night together, it's true that we shared a bed... but do you honestly think..."
A sigh.
"Marron-chan was quite emotionally shaken, last night. Do you honestly think I would have taken advantage of that and taken advantage of him? Taken his virginity when he talked about being unsure of even giving it to you...!? I don't make it my habit of molesting children, Gateau. What he needed last night was at least a night where he could sleep off his confusion... I wouldn't have dreamed of doing such things to him...!"
Gateau looked at Milphey suddenly; what was Milphey saying, there...? That... that he and Marron hadn't had sex after all? So... when Marron had said that he and Milphey had slept together... he meant...
"Oh SHIT..."
"Mm?"
"Why-... oh FUCK, I... why... why didn't he just stop me if he knew he was right-?!"
Milphey noticed that Gateau wasn't looking at him anymore; he had his head grabbed in his hands and had his eyes closed... Milphey frowned.
"Gateau-chan, what...? Did something happen...?"
"He... when he said that you and him had slept together I didn't even listen to anything else he was gonna say... I... we... we'd been arguing, I mean, even before you came in we were arguing... I said he was a slut and a hypocrite... I... we... uh... things... stuff happened..."
"'Things' and 'stuff'...?"
"M-mm... like... if you'd already had sex with him, I didn't see why he should be so against me having sex with him... I mean... we didn't get as far as that, Carrot happened to come back then, but... Milphey, he just sat back and let me do stuff to him! He was all moaning and stuff... I was angry and all, but it's better to be angry for the right reasons, isn't it?! He could have just said that he didn't sleep sleep with you, but he didn't try to deny it, or anything... he just... let me do what I wanted... 'cause that was what he wanted me to do... gah, I feel like his puppet, or something. Always seems to end up with whatever he wants... he woulda just let me think that he... that you and him... god, WHY does he always have to be so WEIRD?! Why can't he just say things straightforwardly?!"
Milphey watched sympathetically. He'd felt sorry for Marron last night... he still did, Marron's situation seemed a difficult one. However, on the same route from that... the situation was just as difficult for Gateau. He couldn't know Marron's reasons... whether or not Marron's reasons were the right ones wasn't the point, they were what Marron believed in... and as far as those went, Gateau really was Marron's puppet.
"Marron-chan is... very complicated..."
"You've got that right. Jeez, so I guess the person he's sooo in love with isn't even you, huh?"
"... No."
"So he told you about that, didn't he? The one person he's so in love with but just can't have them and all... it's driving me mad, I just don't get who it'd be anymore. I mean, it's not me, it's not you, I don't get who else it'd be! Hn, between you and me, I can't help but wonder if it'd even be Carrot, given how Marron behaves and all... but even he's not that weird, I don't... think..."
Milphey said nothing.
"Milphey, what do you think? I mean... do you think he's that weird?"
"Do you want me to humour you or to say what I really think?"
"... uh..."
"If anything, I think his feelings for Carrot cloud anything else. I... couldn't say if Carrot was the person Marron felt he loved so much or not, but... I don't think there's any way to get through to him by dismissing Carrot entirely. I don't know if he'll tell you who it is he really loves, but... I think that at least... getting him to admit the root of his problem would be a beginning. A beginning of what, I'm not sure. People are worth more than the sum of who they love... but when it's a problem such as this, then... sometimes they just need to find out..."
Gateau shook his head, "I've said stuff like that before to him, though. Saying he has to let go of that brother of his sometimes, that some things just don't involve your brother, but... jeez, sometimes it feels like saying 'you can live without your brother' to Marron is like telling somebody they could live without air, I don't think he'd listen. That's what makes me think it's Carrot, y'know? Marron more or less feels every other damned emotion for Carrot, why not add mad incestual leanings there on the side? He might as well... but... he's... he's not that strange...! It'd be like me and Eclair or something, that's... that's just... just no, y'know? Then again, I would like to think Eclair had a life outside me and all..."
The two of them fell into silence, thinking things over. Milphey sighed, supposing he had the three views now. There was Carrot, who was confused by Gateau and Marron's relationship, jealous of his little brother being taken away from him. Said little brother had no intentions of being taken away from his brother, and had worked himself up over his feelings so much that he couldn't feel normal things other people his age felt... after all, what other teenagers pressed themselves so hard that they couldn't feel orgasm no matter how hard they tried? Marron was unaware of Carrot's confusion, and so settled on his own angst, that Carrot would never return his feelings, and then there were his feelings for Gateau... Gateau, who was confused on the situation, almost there working out the answers, but unable to believe his answers were true... and Milphey had heard each of their points of view and felt unable to tell anybody of the things he knew...
What a precarious situation.
****
Several hours after falling asleep, Marron woke up again.
"Nnn..."
His sleep had been deep and dreamless, which made a change. Too often these days did his dreams wander down strange paths... and he had no desire to dream of his brother and the Misu sisters doing that kind of thing anymore, definitely not.
Thinking of which... ah, yes. Carrot still lay sprawled over Marron, where he'd been grabbed earlier on in the day. It was nice to realise that he was still there... Marron didn't open his eyes, tried to pretend he was asleep just for a little longer. Take the time to treasure Carrot's body against his... could he feel a heartbeat near his own? How calming.
On Carrot's side, he'd been worried about moving in case he woke Marron up... the long hours he'd spent slightly trapped there like that had been hours of his thoughts running away with themselves. He could have got away if he'd really wanted to, but when it came to 'really wanting to', Carrot figured he'd rather let Marron sleep, for the time being. After last night with Gateau and then presumably arguing and all, Marron had probably been through quite a lot...
Then of course, there had been what Carrot had walked in on... he wasn't stupid, he liked to think. Marron had been sat back on the bed, Gateau had been leant down between Marron's legs, his hands underneath Marron's robe... it would have taken an idiot not to guess just what was going on there, but... after Marron had run away from Gateau the night before, after Gateau and Carrot had spent a good amount of time that morning trying to find Marron... it seemed strange, that was all. Surely the last thing in Marron's mind would have been that.
Marron looked so innocent while he slept, too. A relaxed smile on his face... that strange kind of calmness he'd had when Carrot had originally walked in, that was another thing strange from somebody who had seemed to be ready to have sex on his brother's bed... and that which Marron had said, he'd been glad that Carrot had disturbed just then, because he wasn't sure... or something like that... oh, but if Marron really wasn't sure about having sex with Gateau, then he'd surely tell him... wouldn't he? Carrot hoped so. Looking down at Marron's sleeping face only compounded what was in his mind, that he wanted the best for his little brother. He didn't want Marron forcing himself into anything just because he felt he had to... and the rockiness of this whole thing with Gateau was starting to worry him. If Marron really did feel so uncomfortable about Gateau, then surely it was best to just leave it alone...?
He still felt that it was weird for Marron to be into the whole sex-and-relationships bit already... even if he was unsure about things, it was still further than Carrot had ever got, even if Marron did prefer men to women. Even if Marron hadn't had sex yet, he'd kissed and touched and other things like that... Carrot had kissed Milphey that time (and other people in the past), but... that was about as far as his experience went...
Still, Carrot didn't blame Marron for that. Sleeping there so innocently, even Carrot could admit his brother was at least a bit beautiful, even if just from an aesthetic viewpoint.
It was selfish, Carrot knew it. Even if it didn't seem he paid any attention to it all, he liked that Marron was always looking out for him... there were many times he knew he would have ended up dead if it hadn't been for Marron's attentive devotion. That, and... lots of people found Marron beautiful. Gateau did, even Chocolat and Tira had admitted that Marron was pretty in the past even if not their type... Milphey did, random girls in random towns would stalk after Marron all shiny-eyed and unaware that he was closer to being gay than they'd like to imagine... Marron was so pretty and oft-pursued, and even after all of that, the only person his eyes were set on, was Carrot. Carrot liked that.
Watching Marron as he slept, Carrot couldn't help but wonder... how did he like that? Why? He sometimes felt annoyed that Gateau might take his brother away from him, but... take him away from doing what?
Perhaps the whole protection bit... if Marron was so concerned over Gateau then maybe he'd stop noticing when danger was heading right at Carrot and Carrot'd end up dead within months of Gateau and Marron's loving relationship...
It was nice, Carrot supposed, to have somebody love him so wholeheartedly. Not like how Chocolat did; she went on about her amazing love for Carrot, always tried to seduce him no matter what the situation, all of that... she loved Carrot, she was energetic in her lust for Carrot, but she still had no qualms about beating the hell out of Carrot in the name of love. Ditto Tira, with her whips and all... but, away from pain and sex and other such strange things, there was Marron. Still loving his brother so innocently as he had when they were children... Marron wouldn't dream of hurting Carrot. Marron was always there to heal Carrot up after he'd been hurt, to make Tira and Chocolat's beatings fade into bad memory... Carrot didn't want to lose that. It was probably childish, to be so jealous of Gateau for things like that, but... him and Marron being boyfriends... their very relationship said of the things they could do. They could hug and kiss and do other things and spend time together and all of that... and that would make Marron happy, wouldn't it? If that was the sort of thing he was looking for.
The nights Marron ended up spending in Gateau's room... Carrot always ended up sulking on those nights. So, their shared bedroom wasn't enough for Marron anymore, was it? They'd only shared a bedroom for like, almost every single night of their lives, not that that meant anything. Marron was probably off having fun, being all kissingy and laughing and touching and hugging and all those little snuggly things... meanwhile, Carrot was left alone to speculate, and it annoyed him. Why did it even bother him so much, anyway? If Marron and Gateau wanted to run off and snuggle for the night, what business was it of Carrot's?
Still, it was just the little things Carrot ended up missing. The way Marron always liked to make sure he said goodnight, their little bedtime ritual. The way Marron sounded when he breathed and he was asleep... whenever he talked in his sleep, and it was always 'niisan' he said...
Basically, Carrot liked the feeling of being Marron's most important person. It was painless and innocent and the same behaviour they'd had all their lives... how could Gateau just suddenly waltz in and change all of that?!
Marron seemed unsure about so much, though... a lot seemed to happen between he and Gateau that ended up with arguments or whatever... if Marron was gonna be happy then surely he could be happier than he was being at that time...!
"... nii... sa... nn..."
Carrot jumped slightly; Marron was waking up...? Or was that just him mumbling in his sleep again?
"Marron...?"
"Nn... nn...?"
"You awake now?"
"Nn... m-mm, I am..."
Marron supposed that he'd been mumbling a little too much to pass it off as entirely sleep-related. Much as he didn't want to, he supposed he'd have to wake up, let Carrot go, all of that... sigh. Oh well, there'd hopefully be some kind of next time in the future, perhaps.
Yawning and stretching slightly at the same time, it was when Marron flailed his arms into the air that Carrot got up and stood by the bed. Marron sat up, and stared up at Carrot. Carrot just stared back at him.
"Um..."
"Niisan?"
"... S-so, are you and Gateau still... y'know?"
"Are we still... what?"
Carrot preoccupied himself by walking around the bed that Marron sat on and sitting himself down on the one opposite. He held onto the bed's edge with his hands and idly kicked his legs into the air, glancing around the room before settling his eyes on Marron again.
"You know... still together?"
It seemed a stupid question in Carrot's mind but he still wanted some kind of clarification. After all, just what was going on with those two? Nothing Carrot witnessed of them seemed to link up. When Gateau flirted with him, Marron was still shy; when they argued, it was like the world was going to end; when they were in a more passionate situation, it was like nothing could stop them, and... just what the hell did all that mean? What did they do in the meantime between those amazing switches? Carrot couldn't fathom it.
"I... believe so..."
"What do you mean, 'I believe so'... you talked, didn't you? You sorted stuff out?"
"That is..."
Well, Marron had at least talked at Gateau and vice versa, but whether they'd actually listened to each other was anybody's guess. The event at the forefront of Marron's mind was that most recent, and nothing about that had been to do with talking. Oh, but Gateau really could be quite passionate when he was angry, couldn't he... Marron wondered if it was worth risking Gateau's anger in the future to spur on a similar situation... but, given the reason for Gateau's anger this time...
He'd been angry because he'd thought Marron and Milphey had slept together. Soon after that, Carrot had appeared... Gateau'd gone... that'd been the last time Marron'd seen him. Sudden concern rose in Marron's mind; what kind of thoughts were going through Gateau's head at that moment? It couldn't have helped with what had come before it, but... at mistakenly presuming himself wronged...
It was all right for that situation, to allow Gateau's anger to turn into something different, but... that had been quite a while ago. Marron didn't pick up where he'd trailed off, instead he looked up again, fixing Carrot with a sudden pleading stare.
"Niisan, just how long did I sleep for?"
"Um... I dunno, to be honest. A coupla hours, maybe?"
"I wonder where Gateau is..."
"Dunno, off posing somewhere maybe? Why?"
Marron looked away again, "We... we meant to talk, but... little got said, in the end... I only acted strangely, and... while he acted with the best of intention, I... I roused him..."
"You certainly a-roused him, ha ha ha okay that wasn't funny. So what were you doing in here all that time while I was gone?"
"We talked."
"And that ended up with him groping you on my bed, did it?"
"... It'd seem so. It's just... it's difficult to talk about some things, and he... he's somebody it's difficult to talk about things to. He seemed to think that perhaps we should separate... part of me wonders if that would be for the best, but at the time, I didn't even like him to suggest that... I wouldn't let him walk out of the room after saying something like that. Then we had a misunderstanding... that somehow led to... what you saw when you returned..."
Carrot sighed and fell back on the bed. He leant his head to one side, looking at Marron opposite him... he frowned, concerned.
"Look, Marron... you can tell me, okay? Just what... what is it with you two?"
"Niisan?"
"If you're not at each other's crotches then you're at each other's throats, there doesn't seem to be any kind of thing in the middle! Can't you just say 'Yes I want to be with him' or 'No I don't'? What's the complication?"
Even trying to think of just one reason to feed to Carrot seemed too difficult for Marron's mind. The complication? There wasn't really anything so complicated, as such... just that, Marron supposed, it'd turned out that he couldn't use Gateau for his own ends after all. He thought that, given Gateau's nature, maybe he'd be willing to do anything for the person he seemed to think so highly of... but everyone had their own morals and ethics, and it seemed that Gateau's intent on being gentle was just as intense as Marron's mania to be forced into his climax. Of course, Gateau couldn't really understand the real reasons for everything, but that wasn't the point; if he did know of the real reasons, he wouldn't stay around to understand. If he really really knew, then... there wouldn't be any question of it; the relationship, as well as any friendship, would be over. There was also the risk that Gateau would be so angry and disgusted that he'd tell Carrot in his malice... the repercussions of that were more than Marron wanted to think of.
So what could he tell Carrot?
Marron picked himself up off the bed, supposing he might as well get changed into something that wasn't a bathrobe. He couldn't walk around Eden wearing only a bathrobe all day... well, he could if he was going to stay in his bedroom all day, but he felt he should occupy himself with something while letting his mind tick over trying to think of just what he could tell Carrot.
Picturing his brother's eyes affixed to his naked back as he pulled off the bathrobe, Marron diligently folded it and went over to the wardrobe to find another robe to wear. As he was doing that, something he could say came to him, so he turned around and said it before it could vanish.
"Gateau and I... we're... too busy looking out for our own interests, I think... we have interests towards each other, but... they don't match. Both of us are too stubborn to back down on what we believe in... both of us won't give up. That's the complication, I think."
Carrot looked pained, "Eeehhh, I don't understaaand... how can it be so difficult to be in a relationship?! Jeez, and there I was thinking it was simple, you see someone you like so you get to know them and hopefully get naked with them. Maybe it's better I've never had a girlfriend or anything if it can get so complicated!"
Marron smiled, "Ah, but is that not why you avoid relationships with Chocolat or Tira? Because of the complications?"
"I avoid relationships with Chocolat and Tira because they could very easily kill me while I sleep...! Can you imagine what that'd be like?! Assuming that the sister I didn't get with didn't kill me within a coupla days of getting with whoever I got with... even if I just glanced at another girl while we were walkin' down the street or something, I'd get beaten to hell over it! Maybe it's just me but my idea of a loving relationship doesn't include the whole pain thing... those two, they'd just see it as an excuse to hurt me more! That, is why I avoid relationships with them, Marron!"
Pausing at the underwear drawer, Marron was glad his back was turned to Carrot as he froze, as a random thought occurred to him.
"So... if it were so that... the Misu sisters were not so violent... you... perhaps... would... choose either of them...?"
Carrot didn't seem to recognize the note of unease in Marron's voice at all, he shrugged.
"I dunno... if they didn't keep whipping me all the time? I dunno about Tira but I probably woulda ended up sleeping with Chocolat already. I mean, come on, she is hot. I guess it's like... Tira's the kind you'd have a relationship with but Chocolat's the kind you'd have mad sex with, you know? Even if they weren't violent I don't know if I could choose between them though. If they didn't have their whips and wires and all, they'd use that other never-fail feminine weapon and just probably cry at me until I felt so bad about doing whatever I'd done..."
"So it's better to choose neither of them than to choose either of them...?"
Marron's voice was quiet; Carrot was silent for a moment before waving his arms around, "GYAAH, Marron, don't make me think about such complicated things, I don't know! Why even suggest it at all? I mean, I, I, maybe I don't know what I really want or anything but I'll definitely say that it's not the Misu sisters! Hf!"
"You seem to not want to hurt them, though. You wouldn't want to choose one over the other... but surely it would hurt both of them equally for you to be with somebody else...?"
"They're strong, they'd get over it. They could angst together for a while and beat me up in unison or something. Then they could find nice, deserving people, and forget all about me. I don't get their hangups with me anyway, they both seem so focused on whatever I'm doing... why bother with whatever I'm doing? I'm not so great I have to be constantly kept in line like that, am I?"
Having put his trousers on, Marron pulled the top part of his robe over his shoulders and walked back to where Carrot was now sat up on the bed. The conversation had taken a different route, somehow... Marron smiled kindly, softly.
"Niisan... you don't have to put yourself down like that."
Carrot folded his arms and looked away defiantly, "No? C'mon, I get it screamed at me all the time that I'm a lazy girlchasing pervert with no redeeming features whatsoever, if everybody else thinks that what am I supposed to think?!"
Marron sat himself next to Carrot, his voice still soft.
"You're arguing about such a thing...? Niisan, you'd really listen to what everybody else said..."
"It's pretty hard not to! How come you're never like that, anyway? Don't you think I'm a lazy idiot pervert... thing like everybody else?"
"I wouldn't have thought you'd argue about that to me, but... no. No, I don't, niisan."
Carrot turned his head back to face Marron, his arms still folded. It was hard to remain defiant under those calm and gentle eyes, but it didn't seem to make any sense... why was Marron always so patient and understanding?! Nobody else ever was...!
"Why the hell not?! I don't get it, what's so great about me that means I gotta always have Tira and Chocolat watching my behaviour so closely, that means you're always risking life and limb for me?! You seem to think so highly of me, but there's nothing to think highly of...! If I'm really so great, then tell me what's so great about me, 'cause I'm not seeing it at all."
Ending that with what he thought was quite a finalistic point, Carrot wondered if maybe that was asking just a bit much of Marron; maybe he'd be angry with Carrot for saying something like that? Maybe he'd get fed up and just walk away? It was fishing for compliments, really. Thinking back on what he'd said a few moments after he'd said it, Carrot supposed he was being a bit self-centred suddenly. Hadn't it been Marron with the relationship problems in the first place? This was no time for bringing his own problems into it!
Even so, Marron still just smiled so calmly... if he was annoyed by his brother's behaviour, he wasn't showing it. At all.
"... The things that are good about you, niisan...?"
Marron was sat close to Carrot now, his hand on Carrot's shoulder.
"... Let me count the ways..."
He'd raised his hand as if to cup Carrot's cheek, but suddenly realised himself in time, and retracted his shaking fingers. Perhaps he was sitting a little too close to Carrot, leant in a little too far... Marron shuffled back, just a little. Carrot was staring at him, seeming quite unsure... just for a second, Marron had forgotten himself and whispered to Carrot, that tone of voice he perhaps shouldn't have used... Marron closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them again.
"You're innocent, niisan."
"I-innocent?"
Carrot sounded as if he were about to argue that point, but Marron's eyes wouldn't let him argue. Marron just nodded, pointing to Carrot's face.
"Mm. You were complaining just then, about complicated things... perhaps you don't understand complicated things, but... you don't have to. You have that kind of... simplicity, I suppose. I'm not trying to say that you're stupid, niisan, don't think that, but... you tend to see things in black or white. Something is good or bad, and sometimes it's hard to comprehend anything in the middle..."
Marron let his hand drop to the bed. Carrot hand been feeling at his face, wondering if there was something on it to make Marron point at him like that.
"... your eyes are innocent, niisan. Nobody can look into them and see something clouded by guilt or a subversive nature... you are as you are, and that's just how you are... you can't and won't help it... and that's good, you shouldn't. I don't want you to lose that innocence. That, and... that kind of outlook... I said before that it's either black or white for you, without grey... but you still try to see the good in people, and stick up for the people who need to be stuck up for. If there's a matter of injustice, then it becomes your overriding passion to right that wrong and vanquish the evil... there's no question in the matter. You'll do what you can, anything you can, to bring about happiness for the oppressed. That's an important quality as a Sorcerer Hunter."
Carrot glanced away, unable to keep Marron's line of sight like that.
"Yeah, you say all of that, but I'm still the one running off and chasing girls when I should be doing mission stuff...! You make me sound so dedicated and stuff..."
"You're saying that you're not?"
"Yeah, well, I'm more likely to help a pretty chick than I am a random guy, aren't I? If two people were hanging off a cliff and I could only save one of them I'd certainly rescue the chick, wouldn't I? That's what I always do, go after the chick!"
Marron shook his head, "If you were really in that situation, I think you'd look over the situation from every angle before making a certain decision. You wouldn't let somebody die unless they had to, and even if somebody had to die, it wouldn't be from you lacking in your ideals. You wouldn't want somebody to die if you could help it... it's true that you chase girls a lot, but... you know as well as I do that you'd help anybody who needed helping, regardless of gender or age or social class or... anything."
Carrot fell silent again, unable to look at Marron, still. He said such deep things...! Were those things he really thought about Carrot, or were they just things that sounded good? Carrot didn't know if he could get his head around everything that Marron was saying, and he certainly didn't feel he could live up to Marron's words...! He didn't know just who Marron had been paying attention to, but Carrot definitely didn't feel it was himself.
Daring to reach out to his brother, Marron nudged Carrot's chin upward with his forefinger.
"You don't let your mind get clouded by unnecessary things. Your mind works quickly... you don't dwell on the bad things. Even though girls keep hitting you away, you still run after them... that unending hope, that amazing energy, that steadfast stamina... those are things that are good, are they not? You do things you enjoy and don't let yourself be preoccupied. Perhaps your tastes aren't so deep, but... ah, it's hard to explain. You... you do things that make you happy, though. You don't let anybody stand in the way of that; you're your own person. You don't let yourself be controlled."
"You've got talent, I'll say that. You're even making my bad points sound good...!"
Marron couldn't help but laugh at that. Again he dared to reach and touch Carrot, this time placing his hand over Carrot's chest, pressing slightly with his fingers.
"Basically... you have a good heart. You do what's good, you want people to be happy, you do what you can to prevent people's sadness. You're kind and you're innocent, and while you may seem brash and stupid at times, that's only your own excitement and exuberance getting the better of you..."
Things still seemed hard to comprehend. Carrot looked down at Marron's hand against his chest; Marron saw that, and quickly pulled it away, fancying he could remember his brother's heartbeat from that touch. Carrot looked up at Marron, wanting to say something in reply to all of that... he couldn't think of anything, his brow furrowed in worried concentration as he wondered just what the hell somebody could say to that...!
It seemed that even that expression brought more sweetened words to Marron's lips.
"... You wonder why people watch over you, why Tira and Chocolat pursue you, why I protect you... we want to protect you, niisan. The things that make you, you. Looking into those eyes of yours... when I look at you, I... I can't help but want to protect you, to ensure your safety, to make sure you're alright..."
Marron couldn't help himself, and it seemed the right thing to do; leaning forward, Marron wrapped his arms around Carrot in a tight hug, hoping his embrace wouldn't be rejected. Carrot didn't return the hug but he didn't push Marron away, either; that was enough.
"... When I look at you... I see your innocence, that I wish to protect... I also see somebody who's worried, who's pressured by a burden nobody else can even imagine. I hate to think that somebody such as you would be at such risk of their soul being tainted... and there's the irony, I suppose. Somebody so hellbent on protecting and upholding justice, and they contain the power within them to destroy everything they'd fight to protect..."
The embrace came a little tighter.
"... We want to protect you because we know of your burden, niisan. I hate to see you worried, I hate to see you upset... those innocent eyes of yours are tainted by unsure feelings, of not being able to know your own future... most people would see themselves grow older and carry on with their lives as they saw fit... you can't know. Sacher Torte rose and fell, but might Hakaishin ever be resurrected...? We can't know. You can't know."
Marron closed his eyes, realising that Carrot was clinging to his robe; oh, had he gone too far? Mentioning Sacher Torte, Hakaishin, those kinds things... those things were only depressing...! Marron didn't want Carrot to worry over his own shortcomings but he certainly hadn't meant to upset his brother!
"... So... just as much as you're determined that Hakaishin won't be resurrected... just as much as that, we're determined to protect you. I'm determined to protect you. You may wonder why people would bother with you, say that you're worthless... you can't believe that, niisan. I won't let you believe it. You're a good person... alright? That... that's what's good about you."
Marron continued to hold Carrot for a few moments longer, rocking him gently, loathe to let him go. After a while he supposed he should, Carrot might only grow suspicious if he carried on like that... Marron pulled away, but Carrot didn't let go of Marron's robe until he had to. Marron noticed this; Carrot looked up at him.
"Okay, okay, maybe those are the things that are good about me... but... it takes someone like you to be able to tell me those things...!"
Having none of Marron's inhibitions, Carrot launched himself forward and grabbed Marron around the waist, his head against Marron's side. Marron just looked down at his brother, surprised; Carrot would grab him so suddenly like that?!
"Nii-niisan!?"
"Marron, I-... I..."
Nervously, Marron placed one hand on Carrot's head, feeling intensely conscious of himself as Carrot shifted over to lean his hand against Marron's lap. Carrot didn't move on feeling the hand on his head, Marron shifted his fingers a little, feeling unsure... still no reaction... he stroked Carrot's hair as he wished to, and Carrot didn't object. His fingers still shook, but he felt so relieved. Even if Carrot was upset... if he could make Carrot feel better... if Carrot didn't mind such things...
Carrot's voice was quieter when he next spoke.
"... Marron, you're great. Don't change."
Feeling stirred by the moment, Marron just smiled down at Carrot, noticing his eyes were closed.
"... I love you, niisan..."
Carrot nodding his head almost spurred Marron to pull his hand away, but his reluctance to do so allowed his hand to remain where it'd been. Carrot coughed slightly, "Y-yeah, that's what I meant."
Marron didn't say anything else to that. Carrot just lay there, letting Marron stroke his hair, his eyes closed. That felt nice. Comforting and such. Marron really was wonderful, wasn't he? It seemed amazing that he'd just been able to say all those deep things. Those were what he noticed about a person...? Carrot tried to think of what he would have said about Marron had the situation been reversed; he couldn't think of much. Marron was kind and gentle and dedicated and loyal and loving and... all of that stuff, but there wasn't any way Carrot felt he could make it sound as good as Marron had...!
Still... given Marron's behaviour, there probably wasn't any need for that. Just saying that Marron was great was enough; he knew what Carrot meant, or at least, Carrot hoped he did.
He still felt a little guilty, though. Surely Marron had things to think about other than his idiot brother, for once...! Thinking about that made Carrot open his eyes, just slightly.
"... Marron..."
Marron paused in his stroking for a moment, "Yes, niisan?"
"Don't you... ever get sick of it?"
He continued again, "Sick of what?"
"Well... me, I guess. Protecting me and stuff. Listening to me whine about nothing when you've got your own things to be worried about. I shouldn'ta gone off on one just then, not when you're all messed up with Gateau and stuff... doesn't that piss you off?"
"No... somehow it's easier to forget about my own problems when I'm concerned with yours, niisan. I couldn't grow tired of protecting you... it's just what I do."
Oh, and his voice was so warm... he was so sure about that kind of thing. Still, surely it wasn't a good thing to just forget about your own problems, not when they were as impending as Gateau... Carrot closed his eyes again and thought on that for a little while instead.
Marron and Gateau... most people had thought they'd end up together before long. During their outings to Facade, Tira and Chocolat had often gone off on their little predictions for people, whether Carrot wanted to listen or not... they'd been pretty convinced that it was only a matter of time before Marron and Gateau got together, and by the time they did get together, it wouldn't be a moment too soon. Chocolat had been pretty sure Marron was only denying that he wanted Gateau, that he probably dreamed of doing naughty things to such a hot hunk of a man like Gateau... Tira'd blush and giggle and go 'Oh oneesama!' a lot and Carrot would just sit to the side and wish he wasn't part of the conversation. They'd been right, of course.
Tira and Chocolat probably weren't as aware of the problems, though. As far as 'Marron and Gateau are an item now' went, that was that, they were together, that was the end of the matter. They probably didn't want to see beyond that and how fraught the relationship was, but then again Marron and Gateau were skilled at keeping their business out of the minds of others, for the most part. Carrot was involved since Marron was his brother and all and Milphey tended to drift in and out as he saw fit, but it wasn't as if Chocolat ever walked in on Gateau and Marron in the middle of something. The girls had better things to do with their time than snoop around Eden for gossip and rumour, as much as they seemed to enjoy such things.
So what was there to be done? Gateau and Marron had spoken a bit that morning, from what Carrot could gather. It didn't seem that much had been sorted out, though... Gateau was still skittish and Marron was still unsure... maybe it just was hard for them to talk, but if there really was a really bad problem then surely they could patch it up...?
Maybe, Carrot thought, it'd take something a little more than the two of them to fix the problems, whatever they might be. Maybe get a third person to sit down with the two of them and talk about things.
Carrot's mind ticked over. Hadn't Marron just been on about Carrot's black-and-white viewpoint? Maybe if Carrot sat down with Gateau and Marron and heard about the problems from the two of them, he'd be able to easily see a solution! Whether that solution was to stay together or move apart, maybe it'd take the words of another person to make them see what options they had open to them.
It was worth a go, anyway.
Given the events of the morning, Carrot supposed he wouldn't be able to just go 'Hey Marron, Gateau, let's have a discussion here!'... Gateau would probably remember something else he had to do and Marron'd probably be displeased... but if Carrot could persuade them, then... hmm...
"Hey... Marron?"
"Mm?"
"How about we go down to Facade for a bit? Get some fresh air, better than spending the whole day in the bedroom and all... maybe grab a drink or something...?"
"Oh, ah... if you want to..."
"Yeah, but do you want to? If you had something else you wanted to do, I wouldn't make you. I'm sure Tira and Chocolat'd go if I asked them..."
"No, I want to go."
Carrot couldn't help but smile as he slowly lifted himself from Marron's lap. Marron sounded so decisive as he said that...! Carrot had known that Marron wouldn't refuse in any case, he couldn't help a little light teasing. He stretched as he sat up on the bed, smiling at Marron.
"Hmmn, I feel all relaxed now. Shall we head out now? There's nothing else to do."
Marron felt somewhat bemused at Carrot's sudden change in mood; just moments ago he'd been all quiet and near-napping on Marron's lap, now he was jumping around the room as if nothing had happened... still, that energy was just what made Carrot, Carrot...
"Yes, if you'd like."
****
About half an hour later, Marron, Carrot and Gateau were walking in silence along the path that would lead them down to the main city. Carrot walked between Marron and Gateau, slightly in front of them, his hands behind his head and a happy smile on his face. Behind him, Marron and Gateau looked entirely less happy, both staring straight forward as they walked.
Carrot was mainly happy that a plan of his had actually worked. He and Marron had started to head off to the city, as they'd decided. Marron had seemed quietly happy about all of that, Carrot had chatted about random things, then, oh no, he suddenly remembered, he'd forgotten his wallet. Calamity and such, whatever would they do without it? The only thing he could do would be to go back for it. So he'd told Marron to wait for a bit, or carry on if he wanted, Carrot would catch him up.
So Marron had chosen to wait; the prospect of spending the afternoon in Facade with his niisan was a nice one, and it was a happy enough thought to dissuade him from feeling uneasy by thinking about Gateau. He wasn't sure what would happen there, so... to get out of Eden for the afternoon, spend an afternoon talking about unimportant things with Carrot, that seemed a nice solution. And he hadn't even had to ask Carrot himself for the outing! Surely the heavens were smiling down upon him!
Marron had been quite shocked when he'd seen Carrot walking down the path, wallet in hand and Gateau beside him. What the hell was Gateau doing there...!? Once Carrot and Gateau caught up with Marron, Gateau seemed just as shocked to see Marron; Carrot had smiled and laughed and said that when he'd been fetching the wallet he'd just happened to walk into Gateau and he'd just so mentioned that he was on his way to Facade and oh, Gateau had wanted to go to Facade too, so Carrot hadn't seen the harm in letting him tag along. The way Gateau had glared at Carrot while Carrot spoke told Marron that that wasn't the case at all, and Gateau and Marron's eyes met in their shared understanding; they'd been set up.
In actual fact, Carrot had spent most of the time back in Eden finding Gateau and persuading him to do something more than just sit around the grounds all day and mope; Gateau hadn't been too keen on the idea, moping seemed quite an attractive prospect at that moment in time, but Carrot was stubborn and wouldn't let Gateau do such a thing. So Gateau had let himself be dragged along, supposing that at least if he was in Facade, it'd be somewhere where Marron wouldn't be, and so he wouldn't have to worry about seeing Marron and wondering what the hell there was to say to him after what had happened that morning.
By the time they all met up, there still seemed to be little to say. Marron was silently angry that his personal time with his brother had been disturbed in such a way, Gateau was angry that Carrot hadn't told him that Marron was going to be there, and Carrot still walked forward with a smile on his face, feeling aware of the needling silence of the two people behind him. Perhaps it'd be a good idea to make conversation. Something Marron and Gateau could both join in on... what was there...
"SO! When d'ya think we'll get a new mission, you guys?"
Gateau shrugged, "I dunno."
Marron nodded to himself, "Whenever Big Mama receives word of something that requires our assistance."
Silence again. That hadn't gone anywhere quickly. Carrot tapped his fingers against the back of his head. He'd thought the mission thing would certainly get them talking, could be a healthy little discussion for the three of them... that hadn't worked...
"OH LOOK! Hey, was that a cat just then?!"
Carrot pointed enthusiastically to a large bush to the side of the path where they walked.
"I'm sure I just saw a cat! Cats are great, aren't they? I like cats. Gateau, do you like cats?"
"They're okay, I suppose."
"Hey Marron, do you remember that time when we were younger and we found a stray cat and we decided to look after it and Tira wanted to look after it too but then it hissed at her and scratched her arm? Then father wouldn't let us keep it, but it still hung around the mountain for ages. Remember that?"
"Yes, niisan."
"Yeah... ha ha ha, I wonder what happened to that cat? Cats are cool, they're all fuzzy and they go 'miau' and all of that. You don't see many of them around these days, do you? I guess most people who have cats like to keep them in their houses. Otherwise kids probably go around and pull on their tails and scare them off or whatever."
"Indeed."
Another lull in the conversation as they walked past the bush Carrot had pointed at before. As they did so, Carrot racked his mind for something else to talk about. Cats... cats... cats... dogs!
"Hey Gateau, do you like dogs? Dogs are cool too. Most of the time dogs and cats fight, but if they're raised together, they can be friends!"
Gateau frowned, "... That's... nice. Uh, yeah, dogs are okay. I wouldn't keep a pet one, though."
"Oh, are you allergic to them?"
"What? No, I just don't like it when animals get hair everywhere."
"Oh, okay. What about birds, then? Birds are cool, people sometimes keep birds as pets! Oh, I guess they'd get feathers everywhere though, wouldn't they. Though, can't some people train birds to talk? That'd be cool! If I had a pet bird I'd definitely try to train it to say something! I don't know what I'd train it to say, though. Probably something like 'Carrot is the best' or something, and it'd be the only thing it'd know how to say so nobody could argue with it! Ha ha ha!"
Marron sighed loudly. The road from Eden to Facade seemed so long, all of a sudden... Carrot certainly knew how to talk pointlessly about nothing in particular, it seemed. There really wasn't much to say to whatever it was he chose to go on about... he'd obviously realised how uncomfortable the silence was, Marron felt that surely it had to be biting at Carrot and Gateau as much as it was biting at him, but... what could Carrot expect? He probably thought he was doing the right thing, but... Carrot had a lot to learn.
"Um... hm... it's a nice day, isn't it? All sunny and stuff. I'm sure there'll be lots of people in Facade! Facade's such a big city, isn't it? Sometimes it's weird to think of such a big place, 'cause we go to lots of towns and villages and they're like, not even a BIT as big as Facade! Like... on Mount St Hordic, sometimes, if it was a clear day, Dad'd take us all to the edge of the mountain and point out bits of Facade to us, and we'd be like 'oooh' 'cause it all seemed so big and shiny! But I guess that's 'cause it's the capital city and all, it wouldn't be the capital if it wasn't so big! Then again there's the Stella Church and all, though if there was somewhere bigger I guess the main branch would be somewhere else, huh?"
"Mm."
"Perhaps, niisan."
"Big Mama sure is weird, isn't she? She never says things straight out, she's always ambiguous about stuff. Half the time I'm sure it'd save everyone a lot of trouble if she just came out and said stuff, but she never does! She's so weird like that. But she's cool too I guess, 'cause she's like, sorta a goddess I suppose. Actually, isn't that weird if you think about it? She's the sort of people everyone at the Stella Churches across the land pray for and to and stuff, and we work for her! Does that make us like... holy, or something?"
Marron walked with his hands behind his back, "I doubt the Sorcerers we kill would call us holy, niisan. We do what we're asked because it's our job, because we have the power to uphold justice in the land. I wouldn't say that our mission is ordained to us, however."
Carrot felt accomplished at getting Marron to speak more than three words in a row. Maybe he could get Gateau to talk too? He wasn't sure. If it was so hard to get them to talk now then wasn't it only going to be more difficult once they got to Facade? Still, Carrot was determined.
"Still, if Big Mama's like, a goddess or whatever... when people pray to her, do you think she can hear it? When you got someone on the other side of the Continent praying for something or other to happen... she just seems to sit in Eden all day, do you think she can do holy things?"
"I don't know, niisan. I think... people like to believe she can do such things. She is greater than us, yet not infallible... but she does what she can. She sends us to uphold justice in order to create a better lot for the Parsoners who are oppressed... is that not answering their general prayer? She fights for those who cannot fight."
Carrot scoffed at that, "You mean we fight for those who cannot fight... since when do we see her doing anything?! What the hell does she do all day?! She sits around and plays checkers with Grand Pa while we're risking our lives over and over!"
Gateau spoke up, "Carrot, if you think too much about why you do something like that it's just gonna make you want to not do it, so it's best just to get on with the job and not think about why."
"You think?"
"Something like that. I mean, I'm not saying that the Sorcerers don't need to be punished, that some of them don't deserve to be asskicked to hell for some of the depraved things they get up to, but... well, I guess we don't kill all of them, but... sometimes you can't help but wonder if death's too good for some of those bastards, if there isn't something else that could be done... like... if you could take magic away from a Sorcerer, and make him - or her - live as a Parsoner. I always wondered what it'd be like if that happened."
Carrot's ears twitched as Marron joined in on the conversation.
"If a Sorcerer were really so hellbent on his own power, taking away his means to use magic wouldn't stop him. There are other forms of magic than that which are naturally bestowed upon a person... such as my Eastern Magic. I was not specifically born with such powers, but I was able to learn them... anybody with the will and determination could learn different forms of magic, I think."
"Yeah, but you've got the whole Tenrinoh thing going on inside you there...! That's gotta help, wouldn't it?"
"I wouldn't disagree with that, but... somebody doesn't need to specifically have the power to use the power... like... ah, do you remember Koh, and his sister Rin? They weren't Sorcerers, but he still had the power to use that kinju... well, it was more that the kinju took him over as opposed to the other way around, but... even a Parsoner can utilize magic if they take it upon themselves. I think the only way to achieve equality in this world would be if there wasn't any magic at all, sealed or hidden or otherwise."
The countryside path was beginning to run out, and the houses and stony paths of Facade were beginning to surround Marron, Carrot and Gateau.
"Yeah, but... you say all that, but you still use magic, don't you? A kind of magic, anyway. I'm proud of you for being able to kick ass with all your magic stuff, aren't you proud to know it?"
"I can't take pride in something I use to kill people, niisan."
"You don't always kill people...! You just knock them around a bit. And besides, you can heal people too!"
"I feel pleased that the power I have can be used to heal people, yes... and my powers are an invaluable part of protecting the people I care for. However, in an ideal world, there wouldn't be any need for such things..."
"Hnh, I'd be proud if I could use magic and kick ass and stuff...!"
Marron smiled, "Then perhaps it is best that you never gain the ability to use magic, niisan."
Gateau just listened to Carrot and Marron as they talked. They could easily talk about things like that, couldn't they? At least, Marron always had something to say to anything Carrot was saying. As far as Gateau went, most of the things Carrot was talking about seemed pointless... going on about animals just then, what had he been on about? But, once Carrot got onto different matters, matters that he and Marron could talk about, then... then, they could talk easily about things. Gateau just couldn't think of much to say.
He was annoyed with Carrot for setting him and Marron up, of course. Gateau couldn't exactly come right out and say that, but he was annoyed. If anything, he felt that at least a few days spent seeing as little of Marron as possible would be the best course of action to take. Then he could really sit back and think about what might be best to do... any discussions with Marron himself never seemed to go anywhere quickly. If they did go anyplace, it was always a place Gateau hadn't meant to go...
Marron was likely annoyed for the same reasons, Gateau supposed. Neither of them could really start an argument in front of Carrot... well, they could, but Gateau had the feeling that any argument would be cut short by Marron... he probably wouldn't want to argue in front of his brother, of course.
Gateau found his gaze wandering from Marron beside him to Carrot in front of him; Marron and Carrot were still talking about magic and the usage of it and all of that... Gateau wasn't really listening, he couldn't get interested in a conversation with those thoughts running through his head. Carrot seemed too caught up to notice Gateau's silence and Marron probably didn't want to stir him into conversation as much as he wanted to be involved in the conversation himself...
So... if Carrot was the person Marron was after...
It seemed weird to think of something like that when both Marron and Carrot were standing in front of Gateau like that. Marron was talking calmly and easily enough, but... when it came to all the things he'd angsted and railed about in the past, about not being able to have the person he wanted, and all of that... were those things... was there even the possibility that they could be about Carrot? Gateau found himself staring at the back of Carrot's head as they walked, just wondering, not being able to help but wonder... not being able to help but feel just a little resentment towards Carrot...
He felt so torn. One part of him wanted to irrationally hit out at Carrot and yell at him for being so important to Marron, the other part chided that first part for making such a deal about it in the first place. The fact that it seemed entirely plausible fought against the part that said 'That just wouldn't happen!', in Gateau's mind. No, but it wouldn't happen. Siblings could be close, siblings could be very close, but there were many different types of closeness...!
Maybe Carrot knew who it was Marron liked so much? He hadn't seemed to in the past, but... maybe he knew now? Maybe if Gateau asked in front of the two of them, then Carrot would let something slip? If Carrot asked, and Gateau was there, surely Marron wouldn't be able to dodge the subject again, would he?
The conversation fell into silence once more as they approached Facade's main shopping district. Indeed, it was quite busy... still, it was the afternoon, it was a weekday, it was to be expected. The three Sorcerer Hunters made their way over to a café of Carrot's choosing, found a table, and ordered drinks. The café was quite busy for the time of day, but then again everywhere was busy; that was part of the charm of Facade. Everywhere where there could be people there were people, all going about their everyday business... there were people selling things, people buying things, there were old people and young people and children...
Marron couldn't wait for the comparative silence of Eden once they returned, but he remained quiet on that point. His brother had wanted to come out to Facade, so... they'd go to Facade. It wouldn't be for longer than a few hours, surely... he could put up with that.
The café Carrot had chosen had seating both upstairs and downstairs, indoors and outdoors, but walking past the outdoor chairs and tables had told the group that they were the most popular tables to go for, they'd all been taken. The table they'd taken eventually had been inside, in the back corner of the room, near a window. The room wasn't as densely populated at that side of the room as it was the front door area, so it felt just a little cooler and more relaxed, and the sunlight still streamed in from the window. The room seemed strangely dark to those who had just been outside, but eventually their vision settled, and the café seemed quite cosy.
The table itself was round, and sat so the soft seating fitted against the wall could be used alongside it. Marron sat underneath the window, Gateau sat by the wall, Carrot sat opposite Marron. They sat in silence as they waited for their drinks, Carrot glancing eagerly from Gateau to Marron in the eager awaiting of some sort of conversation; Gateau was staring out of the window and Marron seemed quite preoccupied with the flower arrangement in the middle of the table, conversation didn't seem to be beginning anytime soon.
The drinks arrived, and a sandwich Carrot had ordered, too. The other two quietly sipped their drinks as Carrot randomly waxed lyrical on the wonders of modern sandwiches.
"Wow, this sandwich is really great!!"
"I'm glad you like it, niisan. Maybe I should order something to eat..."
Carrot looked up, "Oh, I shoulda asked if you guys wanted anything too when I was ordering, sorry..."
"It's alright."
Carrot looked briefly apologetic, then smiled again.
"Isn't it amazing how stuff you eat at a café is always better than stuff you eat at home? I mean, like, at home, I could make a sandwich, and it'd just be like, yeah, I made a sandwich, but here... I mean... look, they took ham and cheese and bread and butter and made it good! See, I wouldn'ta thought of cooking it to make the cheese and the butter melt, and first it seems like there's too much ham, but once the cheese has melted if they didn't put that much ham in you wouldn't be able to taste much else other than the cheese and butter 'cause those are really salty, so it's like, actually really clever! Don't you think?"
Gateau shifted in his seat and nudged Carrot out of his way, "Jeez, Carrot, you're giving me cravings now. Hey, uh... Marron, you want one too? I'll pay for it."
"You don't have to do that..."
"Do you want one or not? While I'm up I might as well get the food..."
"Alright."
"Right, then."
Carrot set his sandwich back down on the plate as Gateau walked away, "It's better if you eat it in little bites, then you get more of the flavour for longer, it's great! I could eat like this every day!"
The distraction of Gateau gone, Marron leant over to Carrot and hissed, "Niisan, what the hell were you thinking?!"
Carrot blinked, surprised to hear that tone of venom in Marron's voice; he'd been in mid-bite of his sandwich, he put it back down on the plate as he stared at his brother.
Marron's glare softened slightly for seeing Carrot's confused face, but even so, surely Carrot realised how annoying it was to suddenly have to be in Gateau's presence?
"Ma-Marron...?"
"I realise you likely thought you were working in everybody's chief interests, but what did you think we had to gain by spending time together like this?! After this morning, I think the both of us... the last thing Gateau and I want to see at the moment is each other."
To Marron's surprise, Carrot took on a sterner tone.
"Hey, didn't I say if you were gonna break up, to do it nicely, 'cause you'd have to work together in the future? That's still true, you know. We don't know when Big Mama's next gonna call us on a mission, but it could even be tomorrow... are you gonna glare at her and tell her you refuse 'cause you don't wanna stand being with Gateau all day?"
Marron blinked at Carrot, then leant back and glanced away, folding his arms.
"I'd put up with it for the sake of duty."
"So I guess you guys did break up, then?"
"... Not... as such..."
"See, you're still confused! You and Gateau have to sort something out, for crying out loud... you can't keep wandering all 'I think we're together... I don't think we're together...' and stuff, just say whether you're together or not!"
"It's not that simple, there are-"
"WHY is it not that simple?! What makes it so complicated?! Don't pass it off as something I wouldn't understand or some crap like that 'cause even if I won't I really, really want to know. Okay? Either you accept someone and say like 'I want to spend time with you' or you say 'I'd rather not, let's just be friends', right?"
Marron just stared at Carrot. This wasn't the time for Carrot to suddenly get a brain and act maturely, Gateau was due to return at any moment...!
Carrot didn't seem to care about that, and Marron's silence was frustrating him. He sighed loudly, then yanked both of Marron's wrists from the table to being closer to him; Marron was surprised and pulled forward, and found his face hovering mere centimetres away from Carrot's own; Carrot's eyes were serious and determined, he wanted an answer and he wasn't going to let Marron avoid this issue this time...!
"Just tell me...!"
Marron could feel Carrot's breath, they were so close. Matters of Gateau seemed almost forgotten in such a position... Carrot was being so masterful, wasn't he...? It seemed so tempting, irrationally, to go 'I don't love Gateau niisan I love you please take me take me now' or something, but that, that wasn't an option... Carrot's eyes still bore down against Marron, he had to say something, he had to...
Predictably enough, Gateau chose a moment around that time to return with the sandwiches. Given his previous line of thought he was too busy fighting that horrible feeling of 'I'm right, I'm right, Marron's hot for his brother' to really care about just why they were both leant in on the table looking for all the world like they were about to kiss, or something. If they were going to do something like that then surely they could have the sense to do it behind closed doors? No point in keeping it a sexy little secret if they were gonna kiss out in Facade where anybody could see them. The thought occurred to Gateau that maybe that was why Carrot had been so adamant to bring Gateau out that afternoon; perhaps he - maybe even he and Marron - wanted to announce their sordid little affair as reason why Marron couldn't do anything with Gateau. Why not? Gateau felt so numbed by current events he felt that little could surprise him anymore, so... so what if the Glacé brothers were having a secret kinky affair? Maybe they really did want to keep it in the family, all of that.
Realising he was just standing and staring while the hot sandwiches cooled on their plates, Gateau snapped out of it and walked forward, eyebrow raised, supposing it didn't matter if he interrupted anything.
"I got the sandwiches. Don't let me disturb you guys, or anything."
On Gateau appearing, Carrot was surprised to find himself being pushed quickly away by Marron; he wouldn't have carried on staring at Marron after Gateau got back in any case, but Marron seemed so much more adamant and flustered... Gateau set down Marron's sandwich in front of him, "Your sandwich."
"Th-thank you. Ah, I should have the money in here somewhere..."
"No, no, it's fine, I've got more than enough."
"I wouldn't wish to remain in your debt... I'd like to pay you back..."
"It's a sandwich, Marron. Besides... I think it's a little late for that, don't you?"
Carrot had the feeling Gateau meant something else by that, but he wasn't entirely sure what. It was typical, though... for once, he'd got Marron in a position where he couldn't not say something about the situation... so close to having him finally say something... and... Gateau chose that moment to return. Typical.
Supposing that he now had to initiate conversation for the both of them, Carrot clapped his hands together and smiled widely.
"SO! You guys are still gay, huh?"
Both Marron and Gateau froze mid-sandwich bite. Carrot felt himself flush under those two heavy glares.
"Uh... uh... that is... I mean... um..."
Marron closed his eyes, "That's not something you mention in polite conversation, niisan."
Gateau nodded, "What he said. Still, I still like guys, I assume Marron still does... so, yeah, we're both gay. Why, was that going to change?"
"N-no, I meant... jeez. Look. Okay. I just wanna know... I mean... you guys... are you still...?"
A pregnant pause, neither Marron or Gateau said anything. Carrot wondered if he'd brought the subject up a little abruptly, but... to be fair, it had been the reason why he'd brought the two of them out in the first place, and it was what he really wanted to know, so, there wasn't much point in beating around the bush, was there...? Still, the silence that followed was quite uncomfortable. Carrot looked back down at his sandwich, "I said the wrong thing, didn't I..."
Gateau leant back against the wall, "You're asking the wrong person, Carrot... 'cause I sure as hell don't know what's going on. You might wanna ask that one there," Gateau pointed at Marron, who just glared at Gateau.
Carrot sighed, "Look, I just want a straight answer, you know? Talk to each other, it's not gonna kill you to do that! Okay, uh... I'm gonna go to the toilet, right? When I get back, I want some kind of definite yes-no answer. I'll only keep bugging you until you say something, so you might as well get it out of you sooner rather than later. Okay?"
Quickly scrabbling his chair away from the table and himself away from Gateau and Marron, Carrot shot off to locate the toilets. Marron stared at where Carrot had been for a few moments, then risked a glance in Gateau's direction. Gateau just shrugged, Marron sighed.
"I... suppose we were set up, then."
"Undoubtedly. Gotta give Carrot some credit there, I guess he thought he was doing something real clever there."
"Niisan's only doing what he thinks is best... I don't think he wants you and I to be angry with each other... I wouldn't wish it either, though... I would understand if you were... I feel you have a right to be, after all."
"That's the most sensible thing you've said in the last few months. I... I did want to say something about this morning, though... I... I was outside after I left your room, Milphey kinda found me... I got kinda pissed at him and he got kinda pissed back, and he said that you and him hadn't... y'know..."
Marron didn't say anything, seeming suddenly fascinated with the flowers on the table. He reached out and put a fallen petal back into the jug in which the rest of the flowers resided, but still remained silent. Gateau sighed.
"You and him... you didn't, did you?"
Marron shook his head, that was all.
"... Marron, why did you even let me believe you had? See, this is just the kind of thing I get pissed off about and then it all gets confusing... you act in such damned strange ways! Any reasonable person woulda got angry right back, 'How dare you accuse me of doing such a thing!' or something, maybe there woulda been a bit of shouting but the matter woulda got resolved...!"
A slight smile, "I wasn't sure you'd believe me even if I denied it. You jumped to such a quick conclusion... I would suppose we both were caught up in the moment. Had niisan not have arrived back I may not have been able to stop you even if I'd wanted to, and... I didn't want to stop you..."
Gateau downed some of his drink, then leant back for a few moments more while he and Marron considered their own thoughts quietly to themselves. Looking towards Marron, Gateau's eyes seemed... heavy, almost.
"Look... Carrot wanted us to talk..."
"Which is what we're doing, isn't it?"
"Well, yeah, but I don't think he meant just about this morning..."
"... Indeed..."
Another silence.
"... I don't think we can carry on like this. Well, we definitely can't carry on like this... I dunno if we can carry on at all, myself. I... it's not that I don't want to, I mean... you'll always be attractive, you know? I just kinda prefer it when people I'm attracted to don't try to fuck with my head and leave it out to dry... maybe it's different for you, but I prefer normal lovers with normal sex. Can't really go wrong with that."
Marron picked at crumbs on the table with one finger, "I would suppose you have had other lovers, then?"
"I... wouldn't say that's any of your business."
Gateau faltered under Marron's sudden steady glare.
"I wouldn't want you thinking less of me if I had or hadn't!"
"That means you have."
"... You're the most beautiful, though."
Gateau reached out to stroke Marron's cheek; Marron didn't move away, or at all. Gateau realised that absolute stillness, and retracted his hand.
"The strangest, too."
"Oh?"
"C'mon, even you've gotta admit that you behave in really weird ways. Besides! You should consider yourself lucky to have a boyfriend with a beautiful body like mine! Hwah!"
Throwing a brief pose, Gateau was just met with a withering stare from Marron. His expression softened, "I know, I know, just kidding. Well, not really, but... never mind, forget I said anything. I guess the main question is just, where do we go from here?"
"... That is..."
"You don't have to answer that right now, I'm just sayin', it's somethin' to consider."
Marron indeed considered that point, and Gateau remained silent in respect for that. Marron couldn't think of anything to say anymore, Gateau wasn't sure there was much else to say, and so the two of them were silent until Carrot returned, about five minutes later. His loud and brash manner was enough to disturb them from their thoughts, but not enough to spur them into much in the way of conversation.
"Man...! Sorry if that wasn't long enough, but I couldn't really stick around in there. So many people in there! Kinda nerve-wracking if you know what I mean. Anyway, um... did you guys talk at all, or did you just sit here and stare at the table? If you did that I'm gonna hit you both."
"We talked, niisan."
"Well, that's good. And?"
"And...?"
"I said I wanted a yes or no answer by the time I got back, and I'm back now, so I want that yes or no answer!"
Marron and Gateau glanced at each other, trying to silently communicate what to say to Carrot. There really wasn't a defined positive or negative, and that was what Carrot sought after... the look in Marron's eyes fell slightly, he nodded at Gateau, telling him he could explain it all. Whatever there was to explain.
Gateau smiled up at Carrot, who took his seat once more.
"You didn't give us a whole lotta time there, Carrot."
"I know, I know, I'm sorry. As I said, a whole buncha people were in there..."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Look, the thing is... it's... not the kind of thing you can just say yes or no about. Don't start rollin' your eyes or anything 'cause I can tell that's what you're about to do, just hear me out here."
At that point, Gateau made a grab for Marron's hand, twining his fingers with Marron's fingers and holding their hands up. Marron just stared at Gateau, as did Carrot, but didn't try to pull his hand away.
"As I said, it's not something you can quickly explain, or figure out. So... we're both gonna think on it a bit, and decide where we wanna go from here. If Marron wants to pull his finger out and decide he does want to make sense half the time, then fine, maybe we can make another go of it. If we figure we really would just be causin' constant headaches to each other, then, again, fine, we'll quit it and chalk it down as opposing personalities, or whatever. And that's as close to an answer as you're gonna get at the moment, Carrot. I'm sorry."
Carrot sighed, "No, no, that makes sense. Just as long as you're gonna do sensible things and talk like mature people then I'm fine with it. Just didn't want you at each other's throats all the damn time, that's all. Anyway... you guys wanna stay here a little longer, or shall we go?"
Gateau looked up, "Go where?"
"Back to Eden, I guess. Unless you wanted to go somewhere else. I only really pulled you guys out here so you could talk to each other, truthfully..."
"Yeah, we kinda figured that one out."
"Eh?! I was trying to be subtle!"
Gateau laughed and reached out to ruffle Carrot's hair, "Yeah, well, that mind of yours doesn't really get 'subtle' now, does it? Anyway, yeah, I'm ready if you are. Marron, ready to go?"
"Oh? Ah, indeed."
His name being mentioned had snapped him out of his thoughts; Marron quietly followed behind Carrot and Gateau on their way out of the café.
Carrot looked up at the sky as they emerged, "Hmm-mmm, I guess it's a bit later than I thought it was... gettin' near sunset already."
Indeed, the sky was streaked with warm pink hues, spread out from where the sun was, somewhere behind some houses on the horizon beyond. The streets were still quite busy considering, but in a different kind of way; most of the sellers and merchants had either gone home or were packing up their stalls, and the people rushing around the streets were primarily rushing to get home. Lights came on in houses and buildings and stood out from the brick which seemed to darken with each passing second, and groups of men would wander past occasionally, on their way to the nearest inn, pub or bar for their nightly get-togethers. The atmosphere seemed so much slower compared to the bustling market of earlier... Marron just stood for a moment and observed that which happened around him. People were going home for the night, closing doors to the outside world, taking part in their own nightly routines... shops were shutting, people were going home (or out for the night)... even the air seemed to suggest a cosy finality to the day.
Carrot noticed Marron had stopped following a few steps later. He turned around to see Marron seemingly fascinated by... either something in particular or nothing at all, Carrot couldn't quite tell. He wanted to call out to Marron, but something about the way Marron stood said to Carrot that he didn't want to be disturbed, not just yet.
Gateau then noticed that he was leading the group and the other two were dispersed behind him. He frowned, and retraced his steps back to where Carrot was standing.
"I thought you were the one who wanted to go already...!"
"Ssh..."
"Hm?"
Carrot indicated to Marron, "I wonder what he's thinking about..."
"Damned if I know."
The hint of wonder to Carrot's voice hadn't been present in Gateau's voice. As far as he was concerned, now was the time to be getting back to Eden, back to his bedroom, setting up the fire, maybe throwing a few poses with Eclair before sleep, that kind of thing. The air carried just a hint of chill that hadn't been present previously, as the sun began to recede from the sky, it took the warmth of Facade with it. Carrot didn't notice Gateau's gruff tone, continuing on quietly.
"You and me both. He always seems so... distant, doesn't he?"
Folding his arms, Gateau conceded that they probably wouldn't be moving for a few minutes longer. He sighed loudly, "Well, yeah. God forbid anybody try to get close to him, he's too messed up in the head for that..."
Carrot's voice was quietly reproachful, "Don't talk about my brother like that. If anything, more than anyone else I know, he always knows what he's up to, always knows what's going on. He... Gateau, I'm not trying to put a downer on you or anything, but if it seems like he doesn't want anybody getting close to him... you mean he doesn't want to get close to you, don't you? So... I think... everything he does is on purpose. If he doesn't want you getting close to him then he won't let you, that's that."
"... That's his problem."
"Hm? That he won't let you get close to him...?"
Gateau shook his head, "No, what you said about purpose. He... he's so in control of things. Hell, he's a control freak, plain and simple. He can control the natural flow of... stuff with his ofuda, he can control pain with his magic, he can control himself perfectly, and he seems set to control other people..."
Carrot sighed, "That's really what you think...?"
"No, let me finish. He's just... he's so in control, he doesn't know how to let himself be out of control anymore... he can predict the outcome of so much, an easily-won battle or how to talk to people... you know what I mean, right? He's so sure of himself, of other people, of everything... I dunno if you get that impression, but... I'm sure it's driving him mad... he can't cope with not being in control, but at the same time, he wants to be controlled... as long as it's under his own control. He can't cope with his own paradox, that's what his problem is."
While Gateau spoke, Carrot didn't once take his eyes off of Marron. Thinking about what Gateau was saying. Applying it to the person in front of him. How strange that seemed. Of course, it was all strange, really... when it came to the things Gateau knew about Marron, the things Gateau had experienced with Marron... they were all different to the things that Carrot experienced with Marron, werenét they...?
Really, they could discuss the different aspects of Marron's personality all night, but when it came to it... when Carrot looked at Marron, all he could see was the person he'd known so long as his brother. It didn't get more complicated than that. How could Gateau look at Marron and say all those sorts of things? It didn't... it wasn't like that... it was true that there was a lot Marron wasn't telling people, he was always quiet and distant, but... Carrot just couldn't bring himself to question that, because it'd always been something that just was...! Marron had always been quiet, even as a child he'd been quiet, so... was there any point in questioning that? Was there even anything to question? Marron, was Marron. That was as far and as deep as Carrot was willing to venture. If Gateau's outlook on Marron had been spoiled by current events, then... that was his problem.
"Look, Gateau... he..."
"Yeah?"
Carrot looked up at Gateau, a pained expression of not being able to express what was going on in his mind on his face.
"... he's my brother..."
"And...?"
Sighing deeply, Carrot supposed he had to resign it to himself that Gateau just couldn't get it. He shook his head and signalled and end to the conversation, then walked forward to retrieve Marron. It was time to go home.
Marron was disturbed from his thoughts by Carrot grabbing one of Marron's arms with both of his own; Marron looked suddenly, "Ah... niisan?"
Carrot was pulling Marron in the direction of the path to Eden, "You zoned out or something. C'mon, let's get going! It's starting to get cold and stuff... look, the sky's getting darker now."
"Oh, I apologize... I... have a lot on my mind..."
"Well yeah, anyone would, really. Just leave the zoning out until we get home, then you can think about stuff in the comfort of your own bedroom, our bedroom, where, most importantly, it's warm. Of course, it's different for you, isn't it? You're wearing this warm robe! I'm just wearing a tanktop, didn't you think I'd get cold? No, it doesn't matter. Just as long as we get home quickly..."
Carrot walked past Gateau, still with a firm hold of Marron's arm. Gateau watched the two of them for a second before continuing on behind them... he supposed that that conversation had no place for him, really. Carrot had been right, him and Marron were brothers... Gateau wasn't quite sure why Carrot had felt the need to state that fact, but was sure that something had been going on in that mind of his for him to come out with that. It'd obviously made sense in Carrot's mind even if not when it'd left his mouth.
Gateau felt a little jealous for Carrot and Marron's relationship, for slightly different reasons than he usually did. Carrot... Carrot couldn't seem to easily grasp hold of what Gateau had spoken about previously... obviously Marron never acted so precisely with Carrot, but still. Those two brothers... they seemed to have an infinite forgiveness for each other. Gateau didn't doubt that Marron would forgive Carrot anything until the end of time, even if Carrot were to resurrect Hakaishin of his own free will and slaughter most of the world, Marron would still ensure he were left standing afterward to hold Carrot and say 'It's alright, I understand'... and even Carrot, in his own way, was fiercely protective of his little brother, even if sometimes it didn't quite seem that way. Gateau envied that. Of course, that wasn't to say that there was anything lacking in his own relationship with Eclair, he'd quite literally given his life for her in the past and things had only got better since then, but looking at the Glacé brothers... something about their relationship seemed so contained within themselves. Something that only they knew about, or... something like that.
Thoughts of before occurred to Gateau. Things that only they knew about... it didn't seem important at that point. If the two of them chose to have a sexual relationship then what the hell business was it of anybody else's to know about or question that...?
Though, even Carrot sometimes seemed in awe of Marron, seemed to feel he was distant. Perhaps there was nothing between them at all, Gateau supposed. Maybe it was just his overactive imagination... it probably was. Their relationship was devotion and protection personified, but was there anything sexual there at all...? Likely not. Gateau felt guilty for even thinking there was in the first place, even as he continued to watch Marron be quietly pulled along by his enthusiastic brother.
The night got darker, combined with the fact that there were fewer windows to be lit as the three of them walked away from Facade's populated area. There was little need for Carrot to still cling to Marron, but he did anyway, and neither Gateau nor Marron said anything about that. The path to home was almost vaguely visible before Marron stopped in his tracks all of a sudden.
"Niisan... please, if you wish, carry on to Eden... I... would like to talk to Gateau for a few moments."
Carrot let his arms fall away as Marron stopped and he carried on walking for a step or two. Gateau stopped and looked at Marron, wondering just what there was Marron wanted to talk about... he looked from Marron to Carrot. Marron was staring at Carrot, Carrot was staring back at him... Carrot looked away. So much seemed suddenly unsaid, but... obviously, Carrot supposed, the lovers wanted to talk to each other. No place for a brother there... he was left to go home on his own. He supposed he shouldn't feel as if Marron were shutting him out suddenly, but... he did anyway... he sighed.
"Okay, okay..."
Marron turned to face Gateau, "If you would..."
He motioned to a path to the side that led to one of the small park areas of Facade. Gateau quietly walked down that path, followed by Marron. Carrot stood there and watched them for a moment, supposing that now was the time for him to take his leave.
It was tempting, though...
Just... for a little while... perhaps... it wouldn't hurt if nobody noticed him, would it...?
Glancing around as if to make sure that his action was totally in secret, Carrot carefully followed after Gateau and Marron, trying to make his steps as quiet as possible. No point in attempting to act secretly if you suddenly tripped and fell, or cracked a large branch in your step, or something...
Marron's white robe was the most visible thing of he and Gateau in the approaching darkness. The park wasn't an especially complicated one, there wasn't much to be navigated around apart from the occasional tree and such... eventually, Marron stopped at the crest of a hill. It looked down upon some more grassland, then a dense patch of trees. A few meters away from the two of them was a smaller tree and a couple of bushes; Carrot supposed he could make himself camouflaged there. He crept behind the tree and looked between it's branches; as long as he were quiet, Marron and Gateau wouldn't notice him at all... perfect.
Gateau and Marron were quiet for a few minutes. Gateau stood with his arms folded waiting for Marron to say something, Marron was staring up at the sky above the trees ahead. It seemed a few points of light were visible in the darkening sky... the stars were coming out.
Eventually, Gateau wondered if he should try stirring conversation from Marron.
"Uh... so... you wanted to say something...?"
Marron nodded, "I did, yes."
Gateau waited a few moments more for Marron to elaborate... he didn't.
"So, uh... go ahead and say whatever it is you wanted to say, I'm listenin'."
"I'm sorry, I can't help but notice the sky when it's like this... and the things I want to say... are still hard to say, on occasion. I was thinking earlier though... what we should do..."
"Right...?"
Marron smiled quietly, "I... don't know if it's perhaps too quick to decide such a thing, but... at least for the time being, I should like to go back to my meditation."
"Your meditation...?"
"Yes... the kind where I can clear my mind and dissuade my body from... that which it might feel, on occasion. I realise that that is perhaps not the most healthy route of action, but... between that and what happens otherwise, I think it would be better to keep my feelings quiet than to frustrate both you and myself... don't you think?"
Marron looked up at Gateau, a searching look in his eyes... Gateau supposed Marron was looking for more than just casual confirmation from him. He sighed.
"If that's what you want to do then I won't want to stop you or anything. Just... are you sure that's what you want to do? Go completely cold turkey on yourself?"
"It's only what I've done in the past. If I don't try to control it, then it has a habit of controlling me... I am not as outgoing as my brother, I can't run around after any person I find in order to satiate myself... over the last little while, I've been lax with myself... I thought that perhaps with the help of another person, with your help, perhaps I could feel that which I told myself was wrong."
He laughed softly, "I'm stupid, aren't I..."
"Marron?"
"Sometimes I can't help but think... it's not a matter of what I should or shouldn't feel, is it...? There shouldn't be any question of it, either I feel or I don't feel. If only I hadn't chastised myself so in the past, but... I'm living with those consequences now. Though..."
Marron's smile became a little brighter.
"... I... don't think it's something that should become so important like that... at least, not to the point of distraction. I think that was one of my initial reasons - you see how my brother acts, guided by his hormones as he is."
"Yeah, but you never act like that!"
"No, but you've seen me when I let my hormones control me..."
"It woulda been good if you hadn't kept freaking out..."
"Yes, but... I can't help but 'freak out', Gateau. I can't... I won't let... it's as if my body won't let me feel that..."
Gateau sighed loudly, "You're so in control your body won't let you be out of control, huh?"
Marron frowned, "... Where did that come from?"
"Oh, just somethin' I'd been thinking on for a bit. Still, I suppose... you're still just a boy, aren't you?"
Marron looked up quickly, frowning slightly still.
"How do you mean?"
"Well... I mean, you're still a teenager, aren't you? Even if it doesn't seem like it. Even if it seems like you're the oldest out of all of us, you... you've still got stuff to learn, haven't you? Stuff to experience, and... stuff. I guess it's hard to take that into consideration sometimes, but you are still young. I guess... you just haven't figured out what you want yet, have you...?"
The frown faded away, "I suppose you're right, Gateau. It's difficult, though... even if I feel I know what I want, or who I want, making that happen is an entirely different thing..."
"It's not like you're gonna end up meditating for the rest of your life, is it? Maybe, in a few years, you'll meet someone you really go 'wow' over, and you'll think... yeah, I'm ready, I really want to make a go of it with them. I think the thing is, at the moment, you're trying to force yourself into things you're not ready for... or at least, that's what I think, don't let it feel like I'm talkin' down to you or anything."
Marron shook his head, "I see what you're saying. Still, you're only two years older than me yourself, Gateau...! Though..." he laughed softly, "... it is strange to have somebody not mention my maturity for once."
"Oh yeah?"
"Indeed... usually everybody praises me for that, for being calm and level-headed and all those sorts of things... even if I don't really feel it myself, some days. Other people look at me and say 'oh, he's so calm, he's so collected, he's so sure of things', but... then I look at myself, and the thoughts I think, the things I feel... and I wonder, am I really so deserving of that praise? Of course, few people would know the twisted, jealous things I think. If they knew of that they would not think of me so highly..."
Gateau stood a little closer to Marron, "I'm sure it's not that bad. You're only human, after all... everyone gets jealous sometime, don't they? I mean... heh, if you wanna think about people not thinkin' so highly of you... sometimes... I even get jealous of you and Carrot... how about that?"
Marron cocked his head to the side, glancing curiously at Gateau.
"Jealous of me... and my brother...? How... do you mean?"
Gateau nervously scratched the back of his head, "Weeeell... it's stupid, really. Just... you know, you two spend so much time together, know each other so well... I dunno. That sorta thing's natural, isn't it? I mean, you guys are brothers and all. It just seems like you know each other so well, and sometimes I don't feel like I know you at all... you know?"
"I'm not sure I could say my brother knows so much about me that you don't..."
"He does in at least some ways... I mean, you guys, you and him and Tira and Chocolat... you all grew up together, didn't you? So you've at least spent most of your lives together, all the little things in childhood you did together, you've all done that, well, together... I just kinda turned up afterward, you know? Compared to everyone else, I haven't known you that long at all..."
Marron smiled again, "Is that a bad thing? That means there's so much more you get to learn... and our lives would have been very different if we hadn't have known you, Gateau. There's no question of it now... when we met is irrelevant, just the fact that we did meet is the most important..."
A sigh, "I guess... but you still... act so different with Carrot than you do with... well, anybody else... you're always so kind and stuff to him, even when everybody else is pissed off with him... you're not afraid to let him be punished if he's in the wrong, but you still... you're always by his side, you know? Always..."
"Would you say anything different of your own relationship with Eclair?"
"Well, no. I guess it's different 'cause I got the hots for you and not her, really. It's just... I want to get to know you better, get to know you more, but... you won't really let anybody know you better, or more... not directly, anyway. If you're feeling bad about something, you're so much more likely to just be quiet about it all than, y'know, tell somebody that you're feeling bad..."
"Such moods pass eventually, I don't see the point in burdening others... however. You'd really be so jealous of my brother? At least you have justification for your feelings. I feel jealousy... I don't feel it's justified at all. That... person... there are certain people... people I should only feel friendship for, but when he goes out with them, when he spends so long just talking with them... it's overpowering within me. What are they talking about? Why are they talking about it? Couldn't he talk so easily to me about it? I'm right here and waiting for him, so... why... why not... me..."
Marron slowed as emotion caught up with him.
"... The feelings paralyse me, and... sometimes I don't know how I should feel... I shouldn't be envious, or jealous, or anything like that...! That... that person would only lose respect for me if they knew of my feelings. Our relationship as it stands... it would never be able to recover..."
Gateau sighed deeply, and moved to put an arm around Marron's shoulders.
"You've gone all tense, loosen up a little. I guess... I guess I can't help you at all with whatever the hell it is you're feeling. That sucks. If I could, I'd really wanna help you, you know? I mean... on one hand, you're all hurting over someone I can only guess about, and I want to help you with that, but... on the other hand, I... I... I love you, and all I can do is watch as you pine away over this mysterious person, and... sometimes I get mad that it's not me... sometimes I get mad at that person. They don't even know who they are and they're hurting you so much! Bastard, I'd punch his lights out if I knew who he was."
Marron let himself relax against Gateau for a moment or two before realising what Gateau had said; he pulled away slightly, moving to stand in front of Gateau. His voice was genuinely curious.
"You can still say... that you love me?"
Gateau's look softened, he shrugged.
"Don't know what else to call it. Besides, what else am I supposed to do, hate you? You haven't quite pushed me to that point, not yet, anyway. Would I get so pissed off about the things I get pissed off about if I didn't have feelings for you? If I really didn't care I'd just be able to say 'well, screw you' and leave you to it, but... I do care, that's what pisses me off about myself... you act so weird about so many things, but I still want to... I want to know why you act like you do, wanna know more about you... you're mysterious, I guess. That was probably how come I ended up going after you in the first place... you'd always brush me off so quickly, I wanted to know how I could make you react more, find out which were the best buttons to press... you weren't telling anybody, so I had to work it out on my own..."
"If it's the mystery that so attracted you, I... I think that once you did know more about me, you'd likely despise me..."
"C'mon, don't put yourself down like that. If I knew more about you, sure you wouldn't be so mysterious, but... mysterious or not you've still got your kind personality and irresistible sex appeal, don't you? Any way you look at it, there's still something to go after with you, isn't there?"
Morale restored somewhat, Gateau smiled a little wider.
"I'm a determined sorta person, I'll keep going after you until I get a firm reason not to!"
Gateau had meant that half-jokingly, just wishing to see Marron smile a little... he didn't, though. Marron just looked up at him, his voice seeming almost pained...
"Gateau-... please. I know... I know you only act as comes naturally, and that's something I wish I could do, but... at least for the time being... would you forgive me if I didn't acknowledge your advances?"
"Hmn?"
"That is... for the time being, I wish to go back to my meditation, go back to clearing my mind of such thoughts, ignoring the failings of my own body... you have to assist me with this. Even if I lose my focus and pursue you... you mustn't let me...! Even if I try to seduce you... you have to push me away..."
"Marron, I don't know if I can do that..."
"I'm asking you to. Please. Please."
He really was. Gateau closed his eyes, "I... I guess. I'll try my hardest, if you really want me to..."
"Thank you. In return, I... I can't acknowledge any of your advances either. I won't attack you for them, but I... we can't act as closely as we have been acting recently. We should distance ourselves from each other somewhat... for us to be close would only be to tempt me, and to tempt me would be to drive me to lustful distraction, and the actions that frustrate you... so..."
Marron was silenced with an 'oomph!' as Gateau hugged him suddenly, tightly. He wasn't sure how Gateau wanted him to react, so he remained still, feeling Gateau's arms around him, Gateau's head pressing against his... Gateau's body was warm, Marron eventually relaxed against it.
"Jeez, Marron...! I... I wish I knew what it was..."
"What... what what was?"
Gateau shook his head against Marron's head, "I don't know, that's the problem... but... I just... I wish we could... I don't even know. We've done sexual things, so it's not like we've not experienced that... we've done romantic things, so there's that too... so... why is it there still feels like there's something missing...!?"
Marron closed his eyes and leant forward against Gateau's shoulder.
"If I were a less stubborn person, I could give up at this moment, and accept you as the person who I... accept the us that we could become... however... I am stubborn. You know I am. I can't... I can't compromise on my feelings until I know their direction... I can't give up until I have no reason to carry on. You... understand that, don't you?"
"Yeah, but I wish it was me you were talkin' about when you say all that stuff..."
"I know. I'm sorry."
The apology hung on the air for a few moments. Marron felt Gateau sigh against him, and pull away slightly.
"Look, if you're telling me to keep away, I'm fully expectin' you to go after whoever it is you're so obsessed over. I'm not gonna let you go just so you can mope for another coupla years on whether or not this person may or may not like you back. I think if you just told them how strongly you felt they'd be bowled over, but... that's just me. I'd certainly be bowled over if it was me you were on about."
"Gateau, that... that's asking too much of me..."
"It's difficult to hear somebody whine about how a situation won't change when they're not willing to do anything to change it for themselves...! I... I mean... I guess we're all guilty of that, so I'm not somebody to yell at you about that, but just... it's difficult knowing even I can't help you. I know it's something only you can do, but... it's difficult watchin' someone so pretty be so upset, you know? I know you probably can't figure out what it is you want at the moment, but... if, at any point, you do figure it out and there's something I can help you with, I'll help you with it. I'd do the whole friends-with-benefits thing if you wanted. Just, don't think you have to suffer in silence, okay? 'Cause that's gonna make me mad more than anything."
Gateau stepped fully away from Marron, "That and you screwing with my head. I don't like it when people screw with my mind, even if it's you doing the screwing. Just as long as you explain stuff and keep it sensible, I'll stick up for you. If you do things with no reason at all you're only gonna annoy people, so... yeah. You see what I'm saying."
Marron stared at the floor. What had he done to make Gateau so hellbent on him...? Gateau couldn't know, Gateau couldn't know. Even Gateau would be disgusted if he knew... if he really knew... for as long as he thought Marron's hopeless love was a case of teenage angst he'd be likely willing to put up with Marron's moodswings and everything else, but if Gateau were to realise... if Gateau were to know it was Carrot...!
Looking back up, Marron just stared at Gateau. He couldn't help but pity him, in a way... he felt selfish for feeling such a thing, but he couldn't help it. Poor Gateau. He was almost like Carrot, in a way... things seemed so simple and laid-out. If you do this, then that will happen... and if you do that and that and this, you'll either end up with the person of your dreams, or realise they weren't right for you in the first place, and both are good life-changing things to have happen, so go forth and do things!... Neither of the two of them seemed to realise the paralysing fear of the unknown that prevented Marron from doing anything at all. Or even more, the fear of knowing that nothing good could come of his feelings...
Ah, but that was where meditation came in, wasn't it? Forget those unnecessary feelings of love and lust, and concentrate on the more menial everyday things. Relaxing with friends, going on missions, fighting Sorcerers, protecting Carrot in a wholly fraternal manner... those things were much more practical and important than mysterious feelings that haunted and did nothing but that!
Carrot had been watching all of that, almost seeming to forget himself and his placing, half-knelt beside the tree a little way away from Marron and Gateau, close enough to hear what they were saying, hidden enough to not be noticed... he'd just been idly curious as to what Marron would want to talk about with Gateau, really. Maybe Marron'd come to some sort of decision about their relationship? Carrot wasn't sure what condensed version of the conversation he'd hear afterward, so it was better to hear it first-hand, wasn't it? Even if it was the sort of thing that wasn't supposed to be heard first-hand, Carrot's curiosity had got the better of him. The phrase 'curiosity killed the cat' occurred in his mind, but Carrot justified himself with the fact that he wasn't a cat, and what the hell kind of proverb was that supposed to be anyway, and that didn't matter, listening to Marron and Gateau was what he'd crept up to do, it'd be best to start listening to them.
After a while, Carrot couldn't help but think that perhaps he'd been mistaken to let his curiosity get the better of him. Listening to Marron talk like that... listening to Gateau talk like that... it really was different, wasn't it? The way Marron behaved, it was really different to the way he behaved when he was around Carrot. Marron didn't really let Carrot know of any of that, did he? Not really. Marron didn't seem to think his innermost thoughts and feelings counted, not compared to anything Carrot might be feeling... but, in comparison... how could they even compare? Marron seemed to be going through a lot, a lot that Carrot didn't feel he was aware of... he felt just as helpless as Gateau. As much as Gateau wanted to help Marron... he wanted to help Marron too! Even more so, Carrot felt! He was Marron's brother, and Marron did so much for him, if anything he should at least try to do what he could...
However... just what was that...? There didn't seem to be anything to do other than be like 'So, is there anything up?' and just accept it when Marron would say there wasn't... was there any way of pushing him? Earlier on, Carrot had said that Marron probably wouldn't let Gateau get close to him if Marron didn't want him to be, but was Carrot even close to Marron...? Physically they'd sometimes be a bit close, hug and share beds and other stuff like that, but... Marron still seemed so far far away, so out of Carrot's league... what kind of person was he, other than secretive? What kind of things did he think? No question like that was a kind Carrot could answer, and that only served to make him feel even more inept as an older brother.
Chocolat never had to go through this sort of thing with Tira, did she?
As Carrot watched, Marron moved around a little; he was standing in front of Gateau, and the two of them were standing so they were both visible to Carrot. Sometimes Marron would block Carrot's view of Gateau, or more often Gateau would block his view of Marron, being that bit taller and more well-built... now Carrot could see both of them, could hear Marron a little more clearly... Marron was staring at Gateau now, and Gateau staring back. Carrot shifted a little against the tree, not wanting to disturb the branches, desperately hoping not to alert the other two to his presence, but wanting to know what was going on...
Marron reached for Gateau's face, gently framing it with his own slender fingers.
"You... you wish you were my brother for the closeness of the relationship..."
His voice dropped, Carrot could only just hear him...
"... Perhaps I should wish that you were my brother and Carrot were not... for I cannot do this with my brother..."
Carrot couldn't help but feel empty as he watched Marron lean forward and take Gateau into a deep, passionate kiss. Gateau wrapped his arms around Marron once more and seemed to respond with equal passion... Carrot watched for as long as he was able, which didn't turn out to be too long. He turned his back on Marron and Gateau and slipped down to a seated position next to the tree.
What had Marron meant by the things he'd said to Gateau? Obviously he hadn't given Gateau enough time to really consider such a statement, but... Marron had said he wished Gateau were his brother? What was that supposed to mean? Did he want Gateau to be the one he was always protecting, or did he always want to be protected by Gateau, or what? Carrot had never really questioned the brotherly ethic and was somewhat disturbed at the thought that Marron might have done just that. Sure, Carrot sometimes went on about how he didn't feel he was a good older brother, about how surely Marron had better things to do with his time than run around after Carrot all day... but he sulked about such things with the certain knowledge that Marron really didn't have better things to do; Carrot would complain, but he never once doubted Marron's loyalty... he only really complained for confirmation, just wanting his thoughts to be approved, and Marron always, always approved them...
Carrot glanced around the bush beside him. Seemed Marron and Gateau were still kissing. He shivered slightly... the sky was dark now, the stars out and the moon on the other side of the sky... it was getting cold. He hugged himself tightly, hoping to generate some kind of warmth with himself... he wondered how much longer Marron and Gateau would be. Was there anything more for them to say?
More to the point... was there anything to keep Carrot there, sitting there and waiting? As far as Marron and Gateau knew, Carrot had gone back to Eden and was likely in bed already. They didn't hurry themselves because they were in no hurry, and they didn't know somebody was waiting for them... and if they knew Carrot had been waiting, likely they'd be angry... especially if they knew they'd been spied on...
Carrot shifted around the tree, to a side that obscured Marron and Gateau from his vision. A bush aided him, there was no chance at all he'd be spotted, unless somebody purposefully looked over the bush or around the tree... Carrot pulled his knees to his chest.
Maybe Marron really didn't want him for his brother anymore. Carrot couldn't help but hear Milphey's words in his head, or at least remember their meaning... that time he and Milphey had talked... saying that maybe Marron found it hard to love others because he loved Carrot so much, that he went after Gateau for a carnal satisfaction that it turned out he couldn't grant...
Perhaps Marron wished Carrot not his brother so he could just get on with his life already. Have normal healthy relationships with other people, not let anything and everything he did be clouded by that overbearing needy niisan of his...
Leaning his forehead on his hands, Carrot sighed loudly. He then wondered if he'd been heard... he held his breath for a moment... no, he was safe.
He wanted to be a better brother to Marron. Somebody worthy of the title of 'niisan'. However, when the little brother in question was Marron... how could somebody live up to that? What was there Carrot could do to make himself feel worthy...?
On the battlefield... Carrot often tried to protect Marron as best as he could, on occasion he'd succeed but most times he'd end up getting into trouble himself... it was always Marron saving him. It was always Marron casting those Eastern Magic spells to deflect the bad guy, or casting the seal to prevent magic, or forming a shield to prevent hits from connecting... or healing if somebody did get hurt, tending to Carrot's hurts and pain so diligently... compared to all of that, what was there that Carrot could do in return? Carrot always carried his sword around with him, not that he got much of an opportunity to use it. His sword skills weren't entirely up to scratch but he could probably kill a bad guy with it if he really tried, though he tended to use it more for defence than anything else. It was there if he had to use it, but he so rarely seemed to actually use it...
... Then there was Marron and his amazing skills with the Hamato. When it came down to it, Marron could handle a sword much better than many seasoned swordsmen... of course, it helped that he had the blood or the soul or whatever it was of Tenrinoh that was in him... if he really wanted, Marron could use a sword. So there wasn't any point in Marron saying 'if I didn't have my magic I couldn't protect you' because that was rubbish and Carrot knew it. Marron only kept the Hamato locked in one of Eden's vaults as a matter of preference, he felt he was more effective on the battlefield with his magic, and having a sword in one hand or at his side would only disturb his balance and poise. It was there if he needed it, though.
So... even when it came to the things Carrot could do, Marron seemed to be able to do them so much better. Well, Marron couldn't turn into a hulking monster, but he at least held the way for Carrot to turn back into a human in his hands, literally. Tira's whips subdued him and tired him out and sometimes the magic did use itself up enough for Carrot to return to being a human like that, but as far as the magical processes of the Spooner Continent went, it was apparently better for the magic to be sucked out and transformed with Marron's ofuda. That also meant less pain on Carrot's side from Tira's whip, and secretly Carrot liked that Marron had that power. Tira and Chocolat could whip and beat him all they wanted, but if Carrot didn't wand to turn back into a human, that was his business, and only Marron could really make him...
Still, if Carrot had been able to choose his magical powers, Zooanthropy wouldn't have been the one he'd have chosen. Something where he retained rational thought would have certainly been preferable... he couldn't help but be proud of Marron for learning all that magic and doing all those cool things, no matter how much Marron tried to play it all down.
So... apart from on the battlefield? Carrot seemed so incapable of protecting Marron when it came to battle, but... outside of battle...?
That seemed just as pointless as in battle, if not moreso... Marron never particularly spoke about his problems, and when he did Carrot often felt he said the wrong thing, or didn't know what to say... like that last time, he'd ended up going on about his own thing while Marron so obviously had problems of his own...
When it came to that kind of thing, it was better just to stop thinking about it. Carrot felt like he couldn't support Marron in any kind of situation... if Marron would prefer Gateau as a brother or something, Carrot didn't blame him.
Marron's most recent words echoed in Carrot's mind.
"... Perhaps I should wish that you were my brother and Carrot were not... for I cannot do this with my brother..."
He'd followed that up with that kiss, hadn't he... Carrot went over the sentence in his mind again. If Gateau were Marron's brother... didn't that mean he wouldn't be able to do things like that with him? You certainly didn't kiss your brother with tongues, after all.
The new meaning to the sentence made Carrot catch himself and frown. Back to what Milphey said. Those thoughts were plausible but not true at all... weren't they? N-no, of course not. Carrot leant back against the tree... he was probably just reading something totally different into what Marron had said. Marron probably hadn't meant anything like that at all...! After all, he was standing just over there kissing Gateau, so... it couldn't have been that. No way. It wasn't as if Marron didn't seem to like kissing Gateau, and it certainly wasn't as if Marron wanted to kiss him or anything.
"Niisan... please kiss me..."
"Oh, otouto... Marron..."
"Nnn... nn... nnnh..."
"Mmn...!"
Carrot let out a little yowl of frustrated confusion and curled up even more against the tree, grabbing at his head tightly. No... NO! What the hell had he been thinking?! Thinking about what it'd be like to kiss Marron... no! Just no! That was Gateau's job, at any rate. No way. Oh god, but Marron would be grossed out if he'd known what Carrot had just thought...! Remembering where he was, Carrot pulled himself up to a kneel and tried to pick out his brother and Gateau from amongst the branches. Seemed they'd stopped kissing, at least.
"... We should go back now. My brother might worry if he wakes and realises I'm still gone..."
"C'mon, he sleeps like a log most nights, he won't notice. Though... I suppose this is it? For the time being, anyway."
Marron had been in the middle of walking away; he turned around and looked over his shoulder at Gateau, "In what way?"
"You 'n me..."
Marron's voice softened, "I've said all I wish to say, Gateau. I think... I think you agree with me, that time spent... not so closely should benefit us. I can't say for certain if I would try to pursue... the person whom I yearn for, but I... I at least should like to bring back some kind of order to both of our lives. We can't continue being so ambiguous with each other."
Gateau started to walk alongside Marron, "You mean you can't keep being so ambiguous with me! I never set out to deceive you or anything, I've been as straightforward as possible!"
"Alright, alright..."
Marron's speech faded from Carrot's ears as he and Gateau walked past the tree where Carrot was situated, and continued along to find the path that would lead them to Eden. Carrot couldn't bring himself to alert them to his presence or to let it be known he'd been there all that time... he'd wait a few minutes and head back after them. Marron would likely go straight to the bedroom, but... Carrot supposed he'd just say he'd been out for a walk, or that he'd gone to get a drink, something like that. It didn't really matter.
****
About three quarters of an hour later, Eden was finally in sight. Carrot had sat tight for a little while, thinking things over and noticing that his thoughts seemed to go in circles. He didn't want to continue thinking such depressing and annoying thoughts, but they didn't seem to want to let him rest... eventually, Carrot supposed he should start making his way back to Eden... Marron would probably worry if he got back and realised Carrot wasn't there, after all. He hadn't seen the point in quickly making his way back to Eden, so he'd walked along slowly, picking along the dark path, kicking the occasional stone... for some reason, he felt an odd sense of foreboding as he walked along the path. Marron was waiting for him once he got home most likely... Carrot didn't know what he felt about that.
Marron would probably be worried. Again. He was always worried, wasn't he? Always concerning himself with the things Carrot said or did, the people he talked to and everything... suddenly he felt as if everything in his life was under Marron's close scrutiny. Everything he did would be analysed and picked apart as it pleased him, and Marron would cast his sympathy and worry where he saw fit...
Worried, worried, always so worried. Where were you? What were you doing? Who were you doing it with? Are you alright? You're not hurt, are you? Are you sure? Is there anything I could do for you? Is there anything you'd like me to do? Do you want anything? Do you want me to get you a drink? Make you a sandwich? Run a bath for you? Make your bed? Is there anything you needed washing? Is that a bruise or a dirty mark? Would you like me to heal that bruise? Oh, would you like me to wash that mark for you?
It wasn't as if Marron bombarded Carrot with questions all at once, but... with every passing moment there seemed to be something else to concern him with, something else he could do for his brother... of course, that was part of Marron being Marron, wasn't it? Always so concerned, always wanting the best for his older brother, when really it should have been the other way around...
Well, Carrot did want the best for his younger brother, but what the best was and how much it was concerned with him, Carrot wasn't sure. Most of the time Marron's needs consisted of a quiet place for him to be able to study magic and no distractions; while those were usually easily enough granted, there wasn't much to go on from there...
The dark outline of Eden's entrance was visible. Carrot stood and looked at it. Behind, somewhere in the darkness, was the tall spire. It glimmered occasionally even in the darkness, sign of Big Mama's residence there... the building around and beneath the spire that where they all lived, the gardens behind the place where they relaxed... Carrot listened to the gravel crunching beneath his feet, one of those little signs that he was close to returning home.
A little closer... ah... was there somebody standing there...? It seemed that they'd heard the crunching of gravel also, no matter how faint. Carrot wasn't surprised to find that it'd been Marron waiting for him. Marron's lighter steps were audible, Marron ran to meet Carrot.
"Niisan...! Niisan, oh, niisan... I was so worried...!"
Carrot couldn't bring himself to look at Marron, "... I know."
"Niisan... where were you? I came to the bedroom and you hadn't returned... I came down here, and your step wasn't fresh on the carpet... I thought you would have returned home before us!"
"I-... ... My what?"
"Nn? Oh, your boots, they leave a deeper imprint on the entrance carpet... there was a print where Gateau had stood, but only him..."
"God, you even notice tiny things like that, do you...?"
"Niisan?"
Marron's confusion at Carrot's sharper tone was evident. Carrot sighed heavily as he made to walk past Marron, "Nothing, nothing. Let's get inside."
"Ah... ye-yes..."
The two of them quietly entered the building, Carrot feeling his feet sink slightly into the soft plush red carpet that ran, eventually, to where Big Mama usually sat were it not so late at night. Yes, his feet did leave something of a mark, Carrot supposed... but for Marron to have noticed that in the past, and to be able to use it as a method of knowing if Carrot had come home or not...?
Carrot had the feeling Marron would have made a very efficient animal hunter.
The two of them took the corridor that would lead them upstairs and then to their bedroom. They were quiet as they walked up the staircase, then Carrot heard Marron's whisper as they reached the top.
"Niisan... may I ask... where were you?... I was so worried, all of a sudden..."
"Oh, I... I just needed to take a walk. Clear my head a bit."
"I... see..."
That was all Carrot really wanted to say, there wasn't much else he felt he could say, but the pitch of Marron's silence said that he wasn't entirely convinced by Carrot's reasoning.
They walked in silence along the corridor. Carrot felt keenly aware of Marron watching him as they walked, dark though the corridor was... his arms were folded, he held them a little tighter as his uncertainty grew. He felt annoyed that Marron was so worried and he felt annoyed with himself for making Marron worried... why the hell should Marron be worried in the first place? He'd said to Gateau that he'd prefer it if Gateau were his brother, or whatever... it didn't matter. Carrot didn't care to know what Marron had meant by that, felt it was all too obvious... and there was no easy way of just asking Marron about it, not without Marron realising that Carrot had been listening to the conversation with Gateau. Perhaps it was just that Marron was worried, but there'd been no mention of that conversation yet... it seemed Marron and Gateau had come to some kind of agreement, after Carrot had got them outside in the first place surely he deserved at least some kind of update on what was going on...!
Or maybe Marron really did want to keep it totally secret. Just between him and Gateau. Besides, if they were going to give it a rest, surely there was nothing more to keep secret...? Still Marron was staring at Carrot; Carrot shifted uncomfortably as he walked, then faced up at his brother.
"What? What is it?"
"Oh, ah... niisan?"
Carrot came to a halt, "You're staring at me."
Marron also stopped when he realised Carrot had, "I... I'm sorry, niisan. I was concerned."
"You're always concerned... okay, okay, so what if I was you, and I was concerned, and I always did THIS!?"
Closing the distance between he and Marron, Carrot stood on his toes and pressed himself against Marron, staring pointedly into Marron's eyes. Marron nervously took a few steps back, but was followed by Carrot... he seemed to be trying to prove a point but he did have to choose the most uncomfortable ways to go about it. Carrot teetered on his toes, then fell back to the flats of his feet. He stared still at Marron for a few moments longer, then sighed and turned his back on Marron.
"See, doesn't that make you uncomfortable?!"
Marron quietly followed after where Carrot was walking, his voice quieter.
"I... I don't do that, niisan..."
"No, but it sure feels like that sometimes! I'm not that great to look at, you don't need to keep staring at me!"
"I- I'm sorry, niisan... it just... seemed that you were in a bad mood, so..."
"So you thought you'd stare at me!? How's that supposed to do anything?! Hfn. Maybe I am in a bad mood, so what? Maybe I'll be better once I've got some sleep, or something."
On saying that, the Glacé brothers reached their bedroom. Carrot opened the door and walked inside, held it open for Marron. Marron closed the door behind him, and stood at the door. Carrot was sitting on his bed and pulling his tanktop off, "Well? Aren't you going to get some sleep?"
"Niisan... you were walking outside for quite some time. It's not exactly warm out there, are you sure you're alright?"
"Well, it was cold out there, but I'm inside now, aren't I? I'll be okay once I get into bed and sleep and stuff."
"I'll put the fire on."
Carrot watched as Marron crouched in front of the grate, across from their beds. Things were quiet, then the slight sound of the fire coming to life, the fire crackling against the wood suddenly... Marron remained crouched in front of the fire for a few seconds, then stood up. He turned to face Carrot, his expression not quite smiling, but his eyes soft.
"Is that alright... niisan?"
"I guess, but it's hard to get to sleep when it's light, even if it's from a fire..."
The fire was extinguished immediately.
The silence following that seemed all the more piercing for the darkness that befell the room. Both remained silent and still for a short while, Marron standing beside the fireplace, Carrot sitting on the bed... Marron heard the shifting of fabric as Carrot continued undressing for sleep. Reminded of the feeling of clothes on his own body, Marron supposed that he too should do the same... he walked over to his own bed, sitting down on it. He spoke quietly.
"I... I could run you a warm bath, if you wanted..."
"I'm tired, I don't want a bath right now. Maybe when I get up."
"...Alright."
Carrot knew, as he got up to get his nightshirt, that he'd very likely wake up the next morning to find the perfect bath waiting for him, at Marron's hand of course. This thought made Carrot sigh, and loudly.
"Niisan...?"
"What?"
"Are you... sure, you're alright...?"
"I already said, I'm just in a bad mood or something. You don't need to keep asking me if I'm alright every couple of minutes, how am I gonna be different now to how I was four minutes ago!?"
"That's... true, niisan..."
Marron could hear the rustling of Carrot's sheets before he fell silent again. Carrot had got into bed... he didn't want the fire on, he'd refused a warm bath. He'd been outside, outside in the cold night for much longer than Marron had presumed he had been... Marron felt confused. He'd told Carrot to go home before he and Gateau had gone to that park to talk, and they'd remained there for quite some time... during all that time, the time afterward, just where had Carrot gone? What had he been doing? There wasn't any way to ask, Carrot wasn't in the mood to answer, but Marron couldn't help but wonder.
Changed for sleep, Marron got into his own bed. His fingers touched to the sheets, he idly mused on their thickness... they were warm, but they could be warmer... the same sheets would be on Carrot's bed, but...
"Niisan, do... do you want a blanket, perhaps?"
"Why would I want a blanket?!"
"To keep you warm..."
Carrot sighed once more, short and sharp.
"Niisan?"
"Look, Marron... I... you don't need to keep... you don't need to keep doing all of this!! Okay, so I was outside for a while. So were you, you're not all 'oh, I must have a bath and put the fire on', are you?! You were wearing robes, those are warmer, but it was just an hour or so! I'm not gonna catch some deadly cold just by wandering around at night for an hour! If I jumped into a lake or something, okay, but jeez... can't you just calm it down a bit?! I'm inside, I'm in my bedroom, I'm in bed, I'm warm. I'm not going to die in my sleep if you don't check I'm even breathing...!"
Marron frowned, looking in Carrot's direction, though he was unable to make out much more than his brother's outline. Carrot's voice seemed to be increasing in anger, but Marron couldn't understand just why Carrot was angry in the first place...
"Niisan, why are you angry...?"
"I-... you're not mother, okay!? We're both equal, I don't need to always be waited on, I don't need you to keep mothering me!! Treat me like a person...! If I said I needed more on my bed you'd probably give me your own sheets before even bothering to get new ones... it's okay to look out for each other, but... you don't gotta kill yourself over me...!"
Carrot winced after he finished talking; Marron didn't respond to that, not even to say Carrot's title... the silence was painful.
"... Marron?"
Still nothing.
"... Um... Marron?... I..."
Some battles couldn't be won; Carrot decided to bite it back for the time being.
"... I... I'm sorry. I... didn't mean to snap, or anything. I... just... you don't have to be my slave...! I... I admit, I like it when you're concerned, and stuff... even if it seems like nobody else is worried about me... you always are, you know? But, you worry about me so much... you worry about me more than you worry about yourself, and I guess that just kinda worries me in itself... like... if something was gonna kill me, and the only way to save me was for someone to die in my place, you'd be the first to be planning your death, and that... I can't understand that...! I mean, it's not like I wouldn't do anything I could for you, I... I'd do anything, but... you'd do anything you could and even the things you couldn't if you pushed yourself... you're so totally driven by just one thing... by me..."
Trailing off momentarily, Carrot still didn't hear any kind of response or acknowledgement from Marron.
"... If I wasn't your brother, you... wouldn't have to worry about me at all... would you?"
Marron's continued silence made Carrot frown.
"Marron... Marron, did you fall asleep?"
The voice was quiet, almost inaudible, but undeniably there.
é"N-no..."
"I'm glad... woulda kinda sucked to have me bearing my soul here only to have you sleepin' while I was doing so, wouldn't it? Ahaha..."
Carrot's laugh died away quickly, Marron didn't have anything to say to that. Carrot was also quiet for a moment, wondering what to say... what there was to say... he looked up, looked to the side, looked to where he knew Marron was... it was too dark to see him, though. Carrot let himself fall back onto the bed, wanting to say something, anything...!
"... I... I bet Gateau'd make a much better brother than me, huh?"
"Niisan...? Why would you say something like that...?"
"Well, he would... he can protect you, can't he? He's all strong and stuff... he pretty much worships the ground you walk on, he'd... you wouldn't have to be the one doing all the work... I mean... it's stupid, isn't it? It's supposed to be the older brother protecting the younger brother, having all the experience and being stronger and older and stuff... you and me, it... sometimes it's hard to even believe we're brothers...!"
"Niisan, please... you mustn't agonize over such things...! Whether it's hard to believe or not... there's nothing to believe, or not to believe. We are. That fact cannot be changed."
"Yeah, but you wish it could be, don't you?!"
Carrot looked up, his voice raising in volume and emotion somewhat; Marron blinked to the darkness, "Niisan...!?"
"You... you... how can you... jeez..."
Marron shifted to sit on the edge of his bed closest to Carrot. Carrot had fallen silent again, he'd fallen back down onto his bed. It seemed that words had got the better of him, he didn't say anything more. Marron just sat there; obviously there was something eating at Carrot.
"Niisan... if... if there's anything wrong, I... please tell me...!"
Carrot's speech was slightly muffled, sounding as if it came from behind some sheeting, or his pillow.
"You'd be better off with Gateau as your brother, and you - I mean - I..."
"Niisan, please..."
"... You don't want... to kiss me, do you?"
In Carrot's thought process, the two sentences seemed quite a logical progression, given what Marron had been talking about before he'd kissed Gateau. Not that Marron could know that Carrot had been listening, but by that point, Carrot didn't really care about that. Let Marron draw his own conclusions.
To Marron, the question was random, sudden, and uncomfortable. Just coming out with it like that...! It seemed strange to even comprehend. How did that fit into anything else...? Why was Carrot suddenly asking that? In any situation, of course, but... when it was Carrot asking, what could the answer be? Marron's heart beat fast in his chest. He wanted to say yes. He really wanted to say yes, but... with that question... just what was Carrot asking? Surely it couldn't be so straightforward... Marron realised he'd been silent for what seemed like much too long, he answered with his confusion.
"... Niisan!?"
"N-no, I... I mean... oh, for-... just... I never said anything, okay? Let's just get some sleep and stuff. Maybe we'll have to wake up early tomorrow or something. Sleep's good, isn't it? So sleep already. I'm already asleep. Zzz."
Carrot faked a drawn-out snore, leaving Marron perfectly awake and confused, still sitting on the edge of the bed. Carrot was right, it was a good idea to go to sleep, they had been out quite late, after all... but Carrot seemed so upset, angry, and confused. Marron couldn't help but feel troubled, and especially so that everything seemed to have no cause...! Or if there was a cause for Carrot's behaviour, he wasn't telling about it. That in itself seemed strange... Carrot rarely seemed to have anything to worry about, let alone anything he wouldn't tell Marron about... and all of the things he'd been ranting about beforehand, about how Marron would prefer Gateau as his brother...? Marron shook his head to himself, how could Carrot even think such a thing!?
"The only reason I would wish Gateau my brother... would be so I could love him and you like how I properly wish to... so you and he could be reversed... though might I even think of you in such ways if you were not my brother...?"
Marron bit his lip, unable to lie down to go to sleep just yet. Carrot had asked if Marron wanted to kiss him; you didn't say something like that then just go to sleep afterward. Marron wanted to reply something, but... he didn't know what to say. If he said 'yes', then what would Carrot think...?
Though, Carrot had been the one to ask in the first place... though he didn't exactly seem in the best frame of mind to be asking such things seriously, but... why ask in any situation, even if he was angry and confused...?
What was the basis of that confusion in the first place?
Marron stood up, feeling a little of Carrot's confusion himself. How dare Carrot try to tempt Marron after Marron had admonished his (ex?) 'boyfriend' for more sensible behaviour, given the relationship... ah yes, that was right. Gateau wasn't allowed to tempt Marron any more. Marron wasn't to go running off to Gateau, either... but what about Carrot, who was both the key player and almost totally uninvolved...? What if he was the temptation...?
Dropping down to a crouch over Carrot's bed, Marron reached down and felt around for where Carrot was on the bed. He felt Carrot's shoulder... he let his fingers trail up to Carrot's face, familiarizing himself to where Carrot was exactly on the bed. He felt a fingertip brush over Carrot's lips... he paused, then moved upward, sweeping Carrot's hair from his forehead.
"I don't... try to be like mother... just to protect you, niisan..."
Marron's voice wasn't above a whisper. Carrot froze on his bed; did Marron think him asleep? He thought that Marron would have gone to sleep after all of that... but he wasn't, and now he was... he was being so tender... Carrot didn't know if he was supposed to be awake, or not. He kept his eyes tightly closed, just in case.
"... I... I can't know the source of your confusion, but... all I can say... before anything else... I would think of you as my brother... my only brother..."
His hand trembling slightly as it kept Carrot's hair out of the way, Marron brought his head down to Carrot's forehead and pressed his lips against the skin there. Just as Carrot felt he should remain motionless, Marron seemed to think so also; Carrot's hair was soft against his fingers, and his skin warm against his lips... hopefully that answered Carrot's question... but he couldn't have meant it the way Marron thought it. He wouldn't desire that kind of kiss from his brother... this was the only move Marron felt he could make.
Pulling back after what seemed like an eternity for the both of them, Marron pressed his forehead to Carrot's own, his voice still a whisper.
"... only you..."
All too quickly, Marron was gone. Carrot heard the creak of the floor as his brother stepped away, the sounds one made of getting back into bed... Carrot opened his eyes at last. He brought his hand to where Marron had kissed him... he could still hear Marron's words in his mind. How could that voice, so gentle and soft and delicate and sure... how could he even doubt the brotherly connection? Even more, how could Carrot think Marron would...? Marron was fraternal feelings in human form, if he was one to doubt them then there was little hope for anybody else.
Carrot felt strangely shaken, but wasn't quite sure why. He'd said something so stupid... asking Marron to kiss him, indeed! Nobody asked that of their brother...! Marron had kissed him... not like how he'd kissed Gateau, though. No, of course not. That kind of kiss was reserved for lovers, or whatever the hell Marron and Gateau were by this point... anything else was just perversion.
Listening keenly to the silence, Carrot was aware that Marron's breathing was softer and slower than usual... or at least, softer and slower than it was when he was awake. Perhaps the day's events had tired him out... he seemed to be asleep now.
Carrot tossed and turned on his bed for a while, trying to find a comfortable position to be in... he couldn't find one. With a growl of annoyance, he left his bed abruptly, and headed to the bathroom. The prospect of a warm bath seemed an attractive one, all of a sudden.