Sorcerer Hunters Fan Fiction ❯ Starting Over ❯ Chapter 10
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: Lemony Chocolate 
Anime/Manga: Sorcerer Hunters Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Action / Adventure / Angst / Psychological / Romance / Sci-fi | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 06.03.2003 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.2K | Visits: 451 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: Sorcerer Hunters Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Action / Adventure / Angst / Psychological / Romance / Sci-fi | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 06.03.2003 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.2K | Visits: 451 | Status: Work In Progress
Chapter 10
"Stella, do you remember what he said about The House," Syrus asked without looking at anyone.
"Yeah, what was that all about? He almost had me wetting my pants; he scared me so bad with that nonsense," Gateau snorted and Eclair nodded in agreement.
"It wasn't 'nonsense,'" Syrus said quietly, his arms wrapped around himself as if for protection. Dota walked over to him and held him.
"What?" Eclair asked uneasily, "He had to have been making it up. People don't really do that shit to other people. Do they?" She turned imploring eyes to Stella.
"During my second year of practice, I had a patient. He was about twenty or twenty-five
years old, with the most ancient eyes I've ever seen. So full of pain, horror and self-loathing that I almost cried the first time he met my eyes. He had been the property of a master, and he still was. His 'master' had fallen in love with him on his first visit to The House and arranged to purchase him. His 'master' wanted him mentally healthy even if it meant losing him. The things he told me…," Syrus swallowed convulsively. "I couldn't get the nightmare images out of my mind for months. And for Carrot to have been there and for Onion to have threatened to put you there…"
Syrus whirled around, his eyes fierce and raging. "Whatever you need from me, I'm there. Whatever you want me to do, I'll do it no questions asked," he grated out stunning everyone. Gone was his usual calm, easy going demeanor. A Warrior stood before them, ready to fly with them into the upcoming storm.
"What happened to your patient?" Marron asked into the uneasy silence.
"He couldn't handle what had been done to him. He committed suicide a year later," Syrus answered flatly, and abruptly left--leaving the room stunned again.
They all exchanged a silent vow: this would NOT happen to their Carrot!
* * *
Carrot lay on the bed, staring up at the ceiling as he tried to deal with the horror of what had almost happened to Tira and Chocolate. Onion didn't know how close he had come to breaking him. All would have been lost. If he had broken, he shuddered, there would have been nothing to stop HIM from waking. He quietly spoke with the others in his mind as they helped him cope, unaware that Marron had slipped into the room and watched the different expressions cross Carrot's lively face. Almost as if he's talking to someone, he thought uneasily and quickly shook the thought from his mind.
He crawled into bed and watched as Carrot started and turned to look at him. Marron almost pulled back as something almost alien slid behind Carrot's eyes before he put on his usual jester's mask, bright smiling eyes and a wide grin.
Carrot came back to the surface, finding Marron looking at him, an inscrutable expression on his face. Carrot quickly hid behind his façade, forcing a smile to his face. A smile that slowly faded under the unrelenting expression on Marron's face. Solemnly they gazed at each other. Each seeking to see past the other's expression, to see into the other's heart.
Marron sighed and turned away, switching the light off on his side of the bed. Reaching out a long arm he gathered Carrot to him. Carrot squirmed happily in the embrace, always happy whenever he had his otouto holding him.
"Why do you do that," came a quiet voice out of the moonlit darkness, slowly stroking his back.
"Do what?" Carrot asked puzzled, looking up a Marron's shadowed face.
"Put on that mask, that jester's mask that you hide behind," was the quiet response. Feeling the slender body tense in his loose hold, Marron tightened his arms in anticipation of Carrot's move to get away.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Carrot said, his heart racing in fear.
There was a flurry of movement and a rustling of sheets as Marron flipped them over and held Carrot's hands trapped above his head.
"Don't ever do that again, don't ever lie to me. Keep your fucking secrets," Marron hissed, looking down into Carrot's frightened face. "I know that there are things that you're not ready to tell me yet, and if you don't want to tell me that's okay, just tell me that. But don't treat me like I'm a goddamn fool, like you treat everyone else. And don't you ever fucking lie to me again. Do you understand me?" he grated out, waiting until he got Carrot's frightened acknowledgment before rolling off the bed.
"Where are you going?" Carrot asked timorously, watching Marron stalk away.
"I'm going to sleep in the other bedroom. Right now I don't even want to see
your face, much less want to talk to you, I'm so angry," Marron said over his shoulder and disappeared through the doorway.
Carrot sat up, pulling his legs to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. He rocked back and forth. Tears pooled in his eyes and he sniffed them back, trying manfully not to cry. He drew a shuddering breath, feeling his chest hurt from the threatened tears, and got out of bed and climbed into the window seat. Through the cold glass he stared at the uncaring moon above.
["I screwed up guys," he said miserably with despair-bowed head to the shadowy figures encircling him.]
["No you haven't," a figure argued, "You need to talk to him. Tell him what you can and say him that you'll tell him the rest but not right now."]
["You heard what he said, he doesn't want to see me again or talk to me," Carrot said, tears rolling down his face] On the outside, his expression changed rapidly as they spoke.
["You didn't hear him right. Now he's angry and hurt that you lied to him. He feels that you don't trust him enough and that you are treating him the same way that you treat all the others," said another, moving his head, shadowy light gleaming off horns.]
["What way do I treat everyone?" Carrot asked in honest bewilderment.]
["You've been doing it so long that it's almost an unconscious reflex. You smile and joke to hide your true emotions, to hide yourself from everyone, fearing that they will not accept you, the real you, if they knew the truth," said another pacing back and forth.]
["It has become a defense that you use to hide yourself. You don't even notice that you're doing it anymore," came the words of another pacing figure, claws clicking on the imaginary floor.]
["You do that so people will take no notice of you. If you act the clown, the jester, people have a tendency to underestimate you and not see the incredibly strong person you are," said another, gliding down from a perch above.]
["Strong," Carrot scoffed, "I'm not strong. I'm weak. What kind a man runs to his little brother for comfort? Seeks comfort in his presence? I cry at the least upsetting news, look at me now." He sniffled back tears and tried to hide behind a derisive sneer.]
["Only in your culture are tears a sign of weakness. 'Real men don't do this. Real men don't do that.' So far the only thing we've seen real men do is kill each other in a variety of different ways," remarked another dryly, coiling tighter about a thick pole.]
["Carrot you are an incredibly strong individual. Not many would have survived this long without being broken," came a gentle growl from the shadow.]
["If it hadn't been for you guys," Carrot began only to be interrupted.]
["You were only a cub when he began his abuse and you survived it unbroken until we came along. We only increased the strength you already had within you. You did what few have learned to do: you learned to separate Self and protect it while sacrificing everything else," it snarled.]
[Carrot bowed his head in thought and slowly raised it as he realized what he needed to do. He was scared but he had to see it though. The others nodded their various heads, sharing his thoughts, silently offering him strength as he rose to the surface.]
Marron lay in the bed, facing away from the bathroom, seething. He lay right there and lied to my face, he thought angrily. Seeing something from the corner of his eye, he stiffened. Carrot approached the bed. Carefully he seated himself on the edge and, looking down, plucked at his pants.
"I...I...uhm...I," Carrot took a deep breath and cleared his throat and began again, drawing strength from within, "I wasn't aware of what I was doing. It's become such a habit that I've gotten to the point where I do it automatically. I didn't really know what you were talking about when you mentioned it. No one has ever seen through it." He raised his head and peeked at Marron seeing him watching and listening before continuing.
"There's a lot that I haven't told you, secrets that I'll probably keep for as long as I live."
His mouth quirked oddly at statement. "Because I know that you and the others won't want me around anymore or love me if you knew," he added in a near whisper, hurting inside. Seeing Marron sit up and open his arms, Carrot gratefully flung himself in the warm, comforting embrace. Suddenly he felt as if everything would be okay.
"We will always want you and love you. And if they turn their backs to you, I'll always be there. Remember what I told you, if you ever try to leave me, I'll be right behind you, every step you take," Marron said holding him tightly and pressing a kiss on his niisan's head and pressing his cheek to the messy, spiky hair. "All I ask is that you don't lie to me again. If there's something you're not comfortable with telling me, just tell me that and I'll try to understand and not press you until you're comfortable with telling me."
"No more lies," Carrot agreed, happy to be somewhat forgiven.
"Now get into bed," Marron ordered with a slight smile, "My chest is getting cold." He moved back and watched in amusement as Carrot dived under the covers and happily settled against him with a little wiggle.
Marron settled his arms around the smaller figure and tightened his embrace. He knew that what he had to say would probably freak Carrot out, but he was determine to say it.
"By the way, Mille and Syrus want you in their offices tomorrow. Mille for a complete physical and Syrus for therapy." The boy grew rigid with each word until, with a cry, he tore himself out of Marron's embrace.
Yep, freaking out has now commenced, Marron thought dryly to himself as he watched Carrot rant and rave about bloodsucking doctor and shrinks. Barely understanding anything in the flood of words coming from Carrot's mouth, he simply lay back waiting for the flood to subside. Occasionally he heard a word here and there, 'Leeches,' 'Dr. FeelGood,' 'Bloodsucking fiends,' 'Dr. Touchy Feelie.' He waited until he heard Carrot begin to repeat himself before he slid out of bed and halted the angrily pacing figure.
"Carrot, you need to do this," he said and firmly restrained Carrot when he tried to jerk away. "You have no idea what the medication Onion's been giving has done to your body and, despite all you protestations that you are all right, I would feel better if you spoke to Syrus. You don't have to tell him anything if you don't want. He won't force you to, okay," he said crouching to peer into Carrot's downcast face.
"Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you. You may not like what they find out," Carrot said crossly.
"What will they find out?" Marron asked curiously, wondering at the tingle of dread that rippled through him at Carrot's words.
Carrot sighed. "It's one of the things I'm not comfortable with telling you yet. Maybe by the time the results come through, I'll have worked up enough courage to tell you," he said peering up at Marron earnestly.
"Fair enough." Marron nodded. He led the way back to the bed. Quickly they crawled in, and he pulled Carrot into his arms as they settled down to go to sleep. Thinking of something else, he sat up.
"What is it now," Carrot muttered sitting up as well. He really wanted to sleep now; it had been a long day.
Marron smirked, "I want you to go to school and also take some self-defense lessons."
"Fine," Carrot snapped and pushed Marron down and settled himself over him. "Can we sleep NOW," he asked sarcastically. The annoyance he trying was ruined by a huge yawn that split his face.
"Yes we can," Marron said softly, watching his niisan's big eyes fall shut in sleep. He gently stroked his cheek as he, too, fell asleep.
As usual, sometime during their sleep Carrot managed to turn Marron over so that he was able to spoon against Marron's back-protecting his sleep.
"Stella, do you remember what he said about The House," Syrus asked without looking at anyone.
"Yeah, what was that all about? He almost had me wetting my pants; he scared me so bad with that nonsense," Gateau snorted and Eclair nodded in agreement.
"It wasn't 'nonsense,'" Syrus said quietly, his arms wrapped around himself as if for protection. Dota walked over to him and held him.
"What?" Eclair asked uneasily, "He had to have been making it up. People don't really do that shit to other people. Do they?" She turned imploring eyes to Stella.
"During my second year of practice, I had a patient. He was about twenty or twenty-five
years old, with the most ancient eyes I've ever seen. So full of pain, horror and self-loathing that I almost cried the first time he met my eyes. He had been the property of a master, and he still was. His 'master' had fallen in love with him on his first visit to The House and arranged to purchase him. His 'master' wanted him mentally healthy even if it meant losing him. The things he told me…," Syrus swallowed convulsively. "I couldn't get the nightmare images out of my mind for months. And for Carrot to have been there and for Onion to have threatened to put you there…"
Syrus whirled around, his eyes fierce and raging. "Whatever you need from me, I'm there. Whatever you want me to do, I'll do it no questions asked," he grated out stunning everyone. Gone was his usual calm, easy going demeanor. A Warrior stood before them, ready to fly with them into the upcoming storm.
"What happened to your patient?" Marron asked into the uneasy silence.
"He couldn't handle what had been done to him. He committed suicide a year later," Syrus answered flatly, and abruptly left--leaving the room stunned again.
They all exchanged a silent vow: this would NOT happen to their Carrot!
* * *
Carrot lay on the bed, staring up at the ceiling as he tried to deal with the horror of what had almost happened to Tira and Chocolate. Onion didn't know how close he had come to breaking him. All would have been lost. If he had broken, he shuddered, there would have been nothing to stop HIM from waking. He quietly spoke with the others in his mind as they helped him cope, unaware that Marron had slipped into the room and watched the different expressions cross Carrot's lively face. Almost as if he's talking to someone, he thought uneasily and quickly shook the thought from his mind.
He crawled into bed and watched as Carrot started and turned to look at him. Marron almost pulled back as something almost alien slid behind Carrot's eyes before he put on his usual jester's mask, bright smiling eyes and a wide grin.
Carrot came back to the surface, finding Marron looking at him, an inscrutable expression on his face. Carrot quickly hid behind his façade, forcing a smile to his face. A smile that slowly faded under the unrelenting expression on Marron's face. Solemnly they gazed at each other. Each seeking to see past the other's expression, to see into the other's heart.
Marron sighed and turned away, switching the light off on his side of the bed. Reaching out a long arm he gathered Carrot to him. Carrot squirmed happily in the embrace, always happy whenever he had his otouto holding him.
"Why do you do that," came a quiet voice out of the moonlit darkness, slowly stroking his back.
"Do what?" Carrot asked puzzled, looking up a Marron's shadowed face.
"Put on that mask, that jester's mask that you hide behind," was the quiet response. Feeling the slender body tense in his loose hold, Marron tightened his arms in anticipation of Carrot's move to get away.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Carrot said, his heart racing in fear.
There was a flurry of movement and a rustling of sheets as Marron flipped them over and held Carrot's hands trapped above his head.
"Don't ever do that again, don't ever lie to me. Keep your fucking secrets," Marron hissed, looking down into Carrot's frightened face. "I know that there are things that you're not ready to tell me yet, and if you don't want to tell me that's okay, just tell me that. But don't treat me like I'm a goddamn fool, like you treat everyone else. And don't you ever fucking lie to me again. Do you understand me?" he grated out, waiting until he got Carrot's frightened acknowledgment before rolling off the bed.
"Where are you going?" Carrot asked timorously, watching Marron stalk away.
"I'm going to sleep in the other bedroom. Right now I don't even want to see
your face, much less want to talk to you, I'm so angry," Marron said over his shoulder and disappeared through the doorway.
Carrot sat up, pulling his legs to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. He rocked back and forth. Tears pooled in his eyes and he sniffed them back, trying manfully not to cry. He drew a shuddering breath, feeling his chest hurt from the threatened tears, and got out of bed and climbed into the window seat. Through the cold glass he stared at the uncaring moon above.
["I screwed up guys," he said miserably with despair-bowed head to the shadowy figures encircling him.]
["No you haven't," a figure argued, "You need to talk to him. Tell him what you can and say him that you'll tell him the rest but not right now."]
["You heard what he said, he doesn't want to see me again or talk to me," Carrot said, tears rolling down his face] On the outside, his expression changed rapidly as they spoke.
["You didn't hear him right. Now he's angry and hurt that you lied to him. He feels that you don't trust him enough and that you are treating him the same way that you treat all the others," said another, moving his head, shadowy light gleaming off horns.]
["What way do I treat everyone?" Carrot asked in honest bewilderment.]
["You've been doing it so long that it's almost an unconscious reflex. You smile and joke to hide your true emotions, to hide yourself from everyone, fearing that they will not accept you, the real you, if they knew the truth," said another pacing back and forth.]
["It has become a defense that you use to hide yourself. You don't even notice that you're doing it anymore," came the words of another pacing figure, claws clicking on the imaginary floor.]
["You do that so people will take no notice of you. If you act the clown, the jester, people have a tendency to underestimate you and not see the incredibly strong person you are," said another, gliding down from a perch above.]
["Strong," Carrot scoffed, "I'm not strong. I'm weak. What kind a man runs to his little brother for comfort? Seeks comfort in his presence? I cry at the least upsetting news, look at me now." He sniffled back tears and tried to hide behind a derisive sneer.]
["Only in your culture are tears a sign of weakness. 'Real men don't do this. Real men don't do that.' So far the only thing we've seen real men do is kill each other in a variety of different ways," remarked another dryly, coiling tighter about a thick pole.]
["Carrot you are an incredibly strong individual. Not many would have survived this long without being broken," came a gentle growl from the shadow.]
["If it hadn't been for you guys," Carrot began only to be interrupted.]
["You were only a cub when he began his abuse and you survived it unbroken until we came along. We only increased the strength you already had within you. You did what few have learned to do: you learned to separate Self and protect it while sacrificing everything else," it snarled.]
[Carrot bowed his head in thought and slowly raised it as he realized what he needed to do. He was scared but he had to see it though. The others nodded their various heads, sharing his thoughts, silently offering him strength as he rose to the surface.]
Marron lay in the bed, facing away from the bathroom, seething. He lay right there and lied to my face, he thought angrily. Seeing something from the corner of his eye, he stiffened. Carrot approached the bed. Carefully he seated himself on the edge and, looking down, plucked at his pants.
"I...I...uhm...I," Carrot took a deep breath and cleared his throat and began again, drawing strength from within, "I wasn't aware of what I was doing. It's become such a habit that I've gotten to the point where I do it automatically. I didn't really know what you were talking about when you mentioned it. No one has ever seen through it." He raised his head and peeked at Marron seeing him watching and listening before continuing.
"There's a lot that I haven't told you, secrets that I'll probably keep for as long as I live."
His mouth quirked oddly at statement. "Because I know that you and the others won't want me around anymore or love me if you knew," he added in a near whisper, hurting inside. Seeing Marron sit up and open his arms, Carrot gratefully flung himself in the warm, comforting embrace. Suddenly he felt as if everything would be okay.
"We will always want you and love you. And if they turn their backs to you, I'll always be there. Remember what I told you, if you ever try to leave me, I'll be right behind you, every step you take," Marron said holding him tightly and pressing a kiss on his niisan's head and pressing his cheek to the messy, spiky hair. "All I ask is that you don't lie to me again. If there's something you're not comfortable with telling me, just tell me that and I'll try to understand and not press you until you're comfortable with telling me."
"No more lies," Carrot agreed, happy to be somewhat forgiven.
"Now get into bed," Marron ordered with a slight smile, "My chest is getting cold." He moved back and watched in amusement as Carrot dived under the covers and happily settled against him with a little wiggle.
Marron settled his arms around the smaller figure and tightened his embrace. He knew that what he had to say would probably freak Carrot out, but he was determine to say it.
"By the way, Mille and Syrus want you in their offices tomorrow. Mille for a complete physical and Syrus for therapy." The boy grew rigid with each word until, with a cry, he tore himself out of Marron's embrace.
Yep, freaking out has now commenced, Marron thought dryly to himself as he watched Carrot rant and rave about bloodsucking doctor and shrinks. Barely understanding anything in the flood of words coming from Carrot's mouth, he simply lay back waiting for the flood to subside. Occasionally he heard a word here and there, 'Leeches,' 'Dr. FeelGood,' 'Bloodsucking fiends,' 'Dr. Touchy Feelie.' He waited until he heard Carrot begin to repeat himself before he slid out of bed and halted the angrily pacing figure.
"Carrot, you need to do this," he said and firmly restrained Carrot when he tried to jerk away. "You have no idea what the medication Onion's been giving has done to your body and, despite all you protestations that you are all right, I would feel better if you spoke to Syrus. You don't have to tell him anything if you don't want. He won't force you to, okay," he said crouching to peer into Carrot's downcast face.
"Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you. You may not like what they find out," Carrot said crossly.
"What will they find out?" Marron asked curiously, wondering at the tingle of dread that rippled through him at Carrot's words.
Carrot sighed. "It's one of the things I'm not comfortable with telling you yet. Maybe by the time the results come through, I'll have worked up enough courage to tell you," he said peering up at Marron earnestly.
"Fair enough." Marron nodded. He led the way back to the bed. Quickly they crawled in, and he pulled Carrot into his arms as they settled down to go to sleep. Thinking of something else, he sat up.
"What is it now," Carrot muttered sitting up as well. He really wanted to sleep now; it had been a long day.
Marron smirked, "I want you to go to school and also take some self-defense lessons."
"Fine," Carrot snapped and pushed Marron down and settled himself over him. "Can we sleep NOW," he asked sarcastically. The annoyance he trying was ruined by a huge yawn that split his face.
"Yes we can," Marron said softly, watching his niisan's big eyes fall shut in sleep. He gently stroked his cheek as he, too, fell asleep.
As usual, sometime during their sleep Carrot managed to turn Marron over so that he was able to spoon against Marron's back-protecting his sleep.