Soul Eater Fan Fiction ❯ Manic ❯ Chapter 1

Title: Manic

Rating: M

Paring: Maka/Fem!Crona

Warnings: Character death, yuri, violence, gore, language, cutting, Femslash fic

Genre: Tragedy/Angst

Summary: I tried to save her, but she didn't want to be saved. She's gone insane. Now, all I can do is watch her burn.

Author's Note: Hooray~ A Femslash fic! With Maka/Fem!Crona~ Friggin' sweet! I've always wanted to write one. I became inspired to write one when listening to “Manic” by Plumb. Cuz' it just screamed Maka/Fem!Crona~ :D Well to me it did. d: I really didn't want to make it a song-fic, because I'm trying to stop doing those, but I liked how it turned out anyways. So enjoy~!!

She breathes in, she breathes out. She wakes up, and lays down.

I tried to save her. I tried so hard. I tried to pull her from the eternal darkness, but I couldn't.

She gave up. She didn't want to be saved; there was no way to save her. She let herself fall. She let herself plummet down into the dark.

She's gone insane now. All I can do is watch her burn.

She can hardly speak and so she screams.

I remember a time when she could talk to me, when she could tell me how she feels.

She ripped out her vocal cords. She hated her voice, she didn't like to talk. Now all she can do is let out silent screams. It breaks me heart, and I cry.

Well I won't give again, because she takes so often.

Why does her do this to herself? Why is she in so much pain? I watch from the window as the men in labcoats try to calm her down. They restrain her to the bed and begin poking her with sharp needles filled with medicine. `Pfft, like that we help her. They strap her to cold bed and stab her with needles. They say it helps her. I say that they're making it worst.'

What happened to her?

That's a rather dumb question to ask. You already know the answer.

My sub-conscience is speaking to me again. It's right. I know why she's this way. I know how she got there. The torture, the abuse, the neglect; it was enough to make anyone go insane. She didn't deserve all of that, no one did. But there was no way to stop it.

Nothing I say will wash it away, I'm standing in the pouring rain. You say it won't happen again you're manic, manic. There's a chemical in your brain, its pouring sunshine and rage. You can never know what to expect you're manic, manic.

I hate what she's doing to herself. I can't stop her. She hurts herself. I've caught her a few times. Caught her using that blade as she slits her wrists over and over. She never caught me watching her; she only pays attention to the blade piercing her skin. I would walk up to her, and she would finally see me. She just stood there, standing still; the blade was still imbedded in her wrist. She pulled it out and set it down. I picked it up and snapped it in half. Then I threw it away. I looked at her again and she looked ashamed, not because of what she was doing but because she had been caught. She had been caught by the person she never wanted to be caught by. She sat down and put her face into her hands, sobbing softly. I wrapped my arms around her and held her for a bit. I let her sob into my chest. I bandaged her wounds and helped her to bed.

“Will you cuddle with me?” she would ask me.

Then I would smile and nod my head. We would snuggle underneath the covers and I would kiss her forehead and she would blush and nuzzle into my torso. It was times like that that we both felt happy.

But now those times are gone forever.

She loves you, and hates you. You break down, she feels good.

I watch through the window again as she convulses against the bed and restraints. I hate what they're doing to her. But there's no way to stop it.

She will bleed from insecurity.

She's so scared. The doctors call them treatments. I call them torture.

Ice baths.

Shock therapy.

Powerful drugs.

They act like it's supposed to help, but instead it makes it worst. I swear they're doing it on purpose. They don't care about her. They just want her die. So then she'll be one less person to care about. They're evil.

When will she heal from this?
I love her still…~

I place a hand against my chest. I can feel my heart pounding. I love her so much. I love her still. She loves me. Even though she's dead inside, she still remembers me. She still loves me.

Nothing I say will wash it away, I'm standing in the pouring rain. You say it won't happen again you're manic, manic. There's a chemical in your brain, its pouring sunshine and rage. You can never know what to expect you're manic, manic.

The doctors let her go. She's on her side now, facing me. She opens her eyes to see me standing at the window. She sits up and swings her legs over the side of the bed. She stands and walks over to me. She puts a hand on the window. I put my hand where her's is. Then she smiles. And I cry.

She smiled. It's been so long since I've seen it. I put my forehand against the glass, as does she. I kiss the window, as does she. I can see her crying now. She mouths something.

`I miss you. I love you.'

I smiled and more tears fall.

`I love you, too.'

She's got everything you want.

She is every little thing you're not.

The doctors took her away again. Probably to submit her to the endless torture they call “treatment”. I wish he didn't bring her here. If he didn't, then maybe she'd be better. She wouldn't have doctors poking her with needles, or have to be forced to bathe in ice-cold water, or face electrical currents traveling through her brains. Maybe she'd be better.

She's back now. The doctor had carried her in bridal-style in his arms. He placed her on the bed and covered her with the thin white sheet they called a blanket. She was facing away from me.

“You can go in if you want.”

I turned to see one of those devils standing behind me.

“You can go see her if you'd like. We're through with her treatment for the day, so you can go visit her.” He said with a smile. How could he be so happy? Doesn't he enjoy torturing innocent souls. That damned bastard.

“Sure, I'd like that.” I replied to him. I had to force myself to be nice to him, even though it pained me to do so.

I opened the door to her room and walked inside, closing the door behind me. I walked over to the side of the bed and sat in the chair that was placed at her bedside.

“Crona…?” I whispered out as I shook her shoulder.

She didn't say anything. It was odd not to see her turn over to look at me. I looked at her face. Then I began to cry.

She was dead. She was dead inside. Now she was just a husk; an empty shell. Her soul was dead, as was she. They finally did it. They killed her. Dried-tear stains caked her pale cheeks. And she just layed there. She did nothing. She looked dead. She was dead.

I cried. No one deserved this.

I saw something. A piece of paper protruding from underneath her pillow. It was letter. I pulled it out and unfolded it. It was addressed to me.

Dear Maka,

I'm sorry for what I did. I really am. These doctors are killing me. I need to ask you a favor. One day, I will be an empty husk. My body will be living, but my soul will not be. I want you to kill me. I know it's hard to do this, but please. I cannot live like this anymore. I want you to kill me. I don't care how, just do it.

I will always love you~

-- Crona

The tears began to stain the paper as I continued to read. I sobbed and held the paper to my heart as if the paper was made from Crona's soul.

It's what she wanted. I stood up and grabbed a pillow from the end of her bed.

Then I smothered her. She didn't struggle, she just layed there, still.

She died.

I cried more and kissed her cold lips before walking to the door. I looked over my shoulder, then flipped the light switch off. Then I walked out and locked the door.

Then I left.

I went home and sobbed in my room for the next three days.

Then I killed myself.

It was Soul who found me. He found me dead in the bathtub, naked, with one arm over the side, and a razor. I had bleed to death.

I had never seen Soul cry so much. I've never seen my friends cry so much. I've never seen Papa cry so much. It hurt to watch them cry.

Now I'm standing with Crona at the gates of heaven. It surprised Death-sama to see us, but he understood why we were. So he let us go. Crona had waited for me for three days in Death's room. She waited for me to come and join her in death. She said she'd wait for an eternity for me to join her in the afterlife. And now here we were.

Together forever~