South Park Fan Fiction ❯ Enter the Door ❯ And In Other News . . . ( Chapter 1 )

Title: Enter the Door

Pairings: Stan/Kyle, some Craig/Tweek, Token/Bebe

Disclaimer: I don't own South Park or its characters.

Warnings: slash

Summary: Something strange is happening in South Park. Kids are disappearing only to return days later with no memory, no visible emotion or personality, and a strange need to build a monument for the coming of the so-called “Great Ones”. When Kyle falls victim to this mysterious force, Stan will do anything to bring him back.

 

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Chapter #1: And In Other News . . .

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“. . . But they say he's going to be alright. Back to you, Tom.”

“Yes, thank you, Kenan,” Tom Pusslicker, the news anchorman, shuffled the papers in front of him importantly and turned to face the camera. “And in other news a young girl has been kidnapped today. Anne Polk, a student at our very own South Park High School, was last seen two nights ago at the movies with her friends. Here with the story is a midget in a bikini.”

“Yes, thank you Tom,” the midget in the bikini said, standing before a plain two story house with a microphone in his hands. At his side were the two parents of the girl, a rather nondescript couple with brown hair and eyes. “I have with me Mr. and Mrs. Polk.” The midget turned to the two parents to ask, “Tell me. How are you dealing with knowing that your daughter is out there somewhere being used by the murderous scum who have taken her?”

The mother burst into tears and Mr. Polk glared at the reporter. “We don't have to answer any of your questions and we won't if you won't show our daughter some—

“STAN!” Sharon Marsh screamed up the stairs at her son, “DINNER!”

Randy Marsh looked up at the sound of her scream, turning away from the TV and the sight of the midget being berated.

“I'M COMING!” Stan called back down and Sharon nodded before turning to her husband.

“Turn off that TV and come eat dinner.”

“Coming,” Randy replied, grabbing the remote to turn off the TV and getting to his feet.

 

 

Things hadn't changed much in South Park over the years. Things had settled down somewhat but the adults were still idiots and the town was still visited by some celebrity or other every couple of weeks. Kenny still died, but everyone had gotten so used to it that Stan and Kyle didn't even comment on it anymore.

The boys were now 17 yrs. old and for the most part they looked the same. Of course, they had gone through puberty and their bodies had lengthened out, chests and shoulders broadening and faces taking on a more masculine edge, but Cartman was, if anything, even fatter. Once he had come out of the closet, Kyle had decided that if he was going to be gay he might as well take the opportunity to tame his Jew-fro and had done so. This didn't mean he had ditched his hat though. It just meant that for those few months when it wasn't snowing he didn't have to hide his head. Cartman, Stan and Kenny had also kept sweaters and hats similar to their old ones, but in different colors. Kenny's hoodie was now grey and he pulled this hood down as he walked into the school building and made his way first to his locker and then to Stan's locker where he waited with Stan for Kyle to appear.

“Did you hear?” Kyle asked, finally coming up to them, backpack on his back and binder held tightly in his hands.

“Hear what?” Stan asked, frowning as he tried to shove his Physics textbook into his backpack with no success. Maybe if he tried it at a different angle.

“Anne Polk was kidnapped,” Kyle said.

Forgetting his textbook, Stan looked up at Kyle with another frown. That name sounded familiar. “Didn't we used go to elementary school with her?”

“Yeah,” Kenny said, smiling in remembrance. “I remember her. She was fun.”

At this, Stan turned to Kenny. Knowing he would regret it, he just had to ask. “Fun?” he repeated, eyeing Kenny uncertainly.

“Yeah,” Kenny said, smile turning perverted, “I remember this one time we—

“No!” Kyle interrupted loudly before he could really get started, “No, no, no, and more no. I don't want to know. You will not tell me. You are not ruining anything else for me, okay?”

Kenny blinked and turned back to Kyle curiously. “What have I ruined for you?” As if he didn't already know.

“Let's see,” Kyle began sarcastically and started ticking off points on his fingers, “How about Die Hard movies, spaghetti, popsicles, my favorite sweater, corn, Oreos—

“Wait. Wait,” Stan broke in, waving a hand and looking confused, “How has he ruined corn?” He knew how Kenny had ruined all those other things. Kenny could just be a little too descriptive in his stories sometimes.

“Oh yeah,” Kyle said, putting down the hand he was counting off points on and turning to Stan, “You weren't there. Kenny showed me this anime porn last year. It was disgusting. Some guy got fucked up the ass with corn.”

Stan made a face, half-disgusted and half-pained. “Ow. Wouldn't that hurt?”

“Hey, I thought you would like it,” Kenny said, trying to defend himself but not doing that good of job of it with that amused smile on his face.

“How,” Kyle asked, turning on Kenny, “could you possibly think I would like something like that?”

“Well it was gay porn,” Kenny said with a shrug, “I thought you were into that kind of thing.”

“Not when it has to do with corn! I used to like corn! Now I can't get that image out of my head every time I see it! I had to go home and watch my family eat something that I'd just seen shoved up another guy's ass! Do you know how disturbing that is?”

Knowing Kyle was being serious but amused despite himself, Kenny tried to hold in his laughter, clapping a hand over his mouth and turning red in the face, shoulders shaking, but it was no use and his snickers could easily be heard.

“Uh,” Kyle said, making a frustrated noise and turning away from the laughing boy. “Anyway,” he began, trying to get back on topic. “Yeah. Anne Polk. She was kidnapped.”

“Do they have any clue who did it?” Stan asked, going back to shoving his textbook into the small space available in his backpack. Finally finding an angle that his Physics book would go in, he zipped his backpack shut.

Kyle shook his head. “No idea. But then this is South Park. You can't exactly expect the police to be competent.”

Stan nodded, conceding the point. “True.”

“Aye! You guys! You guys!” Cartman called from down the hall, trying to waddle up to them quickly.

Looking up and seeing this before the others, Stan snorted a laugh and pointed. “Look. Cartman's trying to run.”

Looking at where he was pointing, Kenny snickered.

“Quick,” Kyle said, “Let's leave before he gets over here.”

“Might as well take our time,” Stan said, laughter in his voice, “He's not getting over here any time soon.”

“You guys!” Cartman called again, now closer. “You'll never believe this!”

“Maybe we should hear what he has to say,” Kenny said. “It could be interesting.”

Kyle rolled his eyes and switched the binder he was holding from under one arm to the other. “It's probably just another stupid plan to piss me off.”

“Yeah,” Kenny said, clearly amused. “I know. That's what I meant. Interesting.”

“Oh yeah. Thanks Kenny.”

Kenny pretended Kyle had been being serious and smiled. “Your welcome.”

“You guys!” Cartman said, finally reaching them. Bending over with his hands on his knees, he began panting for breath, that short run having taken a lot out of him.

“What is it now, fatass?” Kyle asked irritably.

“Aye!” Cartman said then panted for breath again. “I'm not . . .” deep breath in and out, “I'm not fat!” Another deep breath. “I'm big . . .” breathe, “boned,” Cartman finished as he panted, still bent over.

“You're fat, Cartman,” Kyle said, “Deal with it.”

“Aye!” Cartman protested. But that was all he could do. He was still too tired out from that short run.

“Damn, Cartman,” Stan said as he watched Cartman struggle to breathe. “This is even worse than last year at P.E. Have you gotten fatter? I didn't think that was possible.”

“Stupid . . .” Deep breath in, “Hippie.”

“What is it you wanted?” Kyle asked, clearly annoyed. “Because we're not gonna stand here and watch you struggle to breath past your fat all day.”

“I dunno,” Kenny said, watching Cartman closely. “It's kind of mesmerizing. The fat jiggles as he breathes.”

Stan tilted his head as he noticed what Kenny was talking about. “Oh yeah . . . Huh.”

“I . . .” Carman taking in another deep breath, “hate you, Kenny. You poor,” another deep breath, “piece of shit.” But he was clearly regaining his breath and soon he was back to normal again. Standing up straighter, he finally got out what he wanted to say. “You'll never believe it.”

“What?” Stan asked, snapping out of the daze Cartman's rolling fat had put him in and looking only somewhat curious.
“My mom's gonna be out of town this weekend and she says I can throw a party if I want. It's gonna be so killer. Everyone's invited.”

“Woohoo!” Kenny cheered, putting his arms in the air. He loved parties.

“What day is it?” Kyle asked curiously.

“Saturday,” Cartman said, but then looked at Kyle with some evil intent, “but who said you were invited, Jew?”

Kyle looked confused, “But you just said . . .”

“I said everyone's invited, as in every person,” Cartman explained, “Jews aren't people. Especially faggy Jews.”

At this, Kyle scowled and looked angry. “Well fine then. Like I'd wanna go to your stupid party anyway.”

“'Ey!” Cartman protested, looking angry at the insult to his party. “My party isn't stupid. It's gonna be better than any party you've ever thrown, you fucking gaywad.”

“I've never thrown a party, dumbass.”

Cartman nodded and crossed his arms over his flabby chest, looking very self-important. “I rest my case.”

Kyle rolled his eyes again and shook his head, not wanting to have to deal with the fatass anymore. “Fine. Whatever. You guys have fun at your stupid party. I need to get to class.” And he set off down the hallway.

“Hey, wait up, dude,” Stan called, hurrying to put on his backpack and catch up with Kyle. He and Kyle had the same homeroom and they always walked there together. “You know,” he said as Kyle waited for him to catch up and the two of them left Cartman and Kenny behind, “My parents aren't gonna be home on Saturday either. It's their anniversary or something. You want to just come over to my house? We can raid my dad's beer stash.”

Kyle glanced at him. “You don't want to go to Cartman's party?”

“No way, dude. I bet it's gonna be super lame,” Stan said, shaking his head. But then he smiled at Kyle. “Hanging out with you will probably be ten times cooler.”

Kyle smiled slowly in return. “Sure. That sounds like fun.”

 

 

“And some good news for the families,” Tom Pusslicker said, looking straight into the camera. “Anne Polk, the girl who went missing the other day, has been returned. We now go live with this story to Kenan O'Malley. “ In the corner of the screen there appeared a small box showing a blond reporter in front of the same plain two-story house as yesterday's broadcast. “Kenan? How are things?”

“Things are good, Tom,” the reporter replied as the box grew larger to fill the entire screen so that Tom was no longer shown. “I have with me Mr. and Mrs. Polk who are here to share with us the good news. Tell me,” he said, turning to shove the microphone he held into the two parents' faces. “How are things now that your daughter is back home where she belongs?”

“Things are . . .” the father obviously hesitated to continue before he finally finished with a rather forced looking smile, “Things are great.”

Hearing this, Mrs. Polk let out a wail, burying her face in her hands and starting to cry. Mr. Polk immediately turned to try and comfort her.

“What's wrong with her?” Kenan asked, looking at the woman with some confusion.

“Nothing! Nothing!” Mr. Polk tried to say, his smile still very obviously forced. “She's just . . . so happy, you know? Our little girl's back home and she's . . .” he trailed off uncertainly, obviously not sure quite what to say.

“She's gone!” Mrs. Polk wailed, filling in the silence. “Our little girl's gone!”

“No!” the father said, obviously determined to be positive. “She's just . . . different, that's all. Yeah. Different.”

“And just how is she . . . different?” Kenan asked, looking curious.

“There's nothing there!” the mother wailed. “She's gone! She's just . . .” hiccupping, she tried to get out what she wanted to say past her sobs, “She's just a . . . a husk now.”

“A husk?” Kenan repeated, obviously intrigued as he shoved the microphone in the mother's face. “What do you mean by a husk?”

“I mean,” Mrs. Polk said, obviously trying to calm her tears. “I mean, she's there, but she's not there. She has no emotion. No personality. She's gone!” And Mrs. Polk dissolved into tears once again.

“Those poor people,” Randy Marsh said, shaking his head at what he was seeing. “The people who took that girl must have really messed her up.”

“Yes,” Sharon Marsh agreed, seated next to her husband on the couch as they watched this. “Those poor people.”

“And in other news,” Tom Pusslicker said as the view changed back to him, leaving the Polks behind, “A cat got stuck in a tree today. The fire department was immediately called and they rushed out to save this poor creature before it could grow hungry. Old Mrs. Feeney had this to say . . .”

 

 

TBC