Spirited Away Fan Fiction ❯ Kohaku's Quest ❯ Kohaku's quest ( Chapter 4 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

By: Sassa

Chapter four; A summer flower

And:

Chapter four and a half; Being Chihiro

The blue house on the hill had a very beautiful garden. Just after returning from the spirit realm, Chihiro often stared out in the garden from her window. Some of the blooming bushes reminded her of those on the way to the pigsty from the Aburaya and she loved them. Sometimes, she even spent the night out there, breathing in the scent from the flowers. Those night Chihiro had lively dreams about the other realm and Haku, all beautiful ones.

When autumn came and the flowers died Chihiro never looked out the window again. It wasn't because of the loss of the flowers but because of the emptiness the bushes made her feel. She could no longer enjoy those lively dreams. But Chihiro tried to believe that Haku would keep his promise.

Interruption:

A child who's promised something they really desire can't understand why the promise doesn't redeem. Even if you explain several reasons and they are all logical, the child still don't understand. Therefore you should never make long term promises with a child. Normally, no one does either. The promises often follows by a certain date or is linked to a special event. And if no date is set, the child automatically assume that the promise will be fulfilled soon.

Soon expended around Christmas for Chihiro. It was when she realised that Haku wouldn't show up as an unexpected guest or leave her a gift. He did not even send a card! Even thought Chihiro was uncertain about how the connections between the two worlds worked, she still felt abandoned. For her, the promise was now broken.

The first six months after that Chihiro went around as a ghost, feeling as if the pleasures of this would wasn't enough. Listless and pale and washed out she sat silent in class and at the family dinner table, answering only monosyllabic. She could write in her diary for hours, sometimes true stuff, sometimes fiction. One page in her diary was filled with one simple question, written with a red pen: Why?

After several moths, Chihiro's parents had a long talk with her. They talked about making new friends and schoolwork, about being polite and open towards them. They said that they probably were to blame for her current state, forcing her to leave her friends and all in such a sensitive age. They were partly right. They were to blame in one way; they hadn't helped Chihiro to sort out her experiences after her adventure in the spirit world. But she knew they couldn't be blamed for real. They didn't remember anything at all, so they simply couldn't help her. They explained the missing time by some sort of mystical sleeping disorder; they even had papers from the doctor about that. Chihiro hated those papers, mostly because they had made her doubt. But no paper in the world could explain the fillet in her hair.

To please her parents, Chihiro began to strain a little, in school as in social contexts. She told herself that it was just until she heard from Haku, even thought she really doubted that would ever occur. As soon as they met again, her life would change, she knew, so that lying serpent better come. The one who once had been spirited away had a hard time to settle with the half-living life she was offered in this world. But humans has an extraordinary ability to survive and enjoy life, even when we decide that we won't.

Chihiro turned eleven, twelve, sixteen. She had stopped longing for Haku long ago; he was now a dream more than reality. He was literally a dream; Chihiro often dreamt of him. As she grew elder, the dreams changed character. The games and playful chases suddenly wasn't plain fun, but haunting and emotional. Yet she tried desperately to ignore it all, knowing allowing herself to daydream would only result in pain and mental agony.

When lies are told often, they become truth in our memory. Since everyone wondered about Chihiro year of birth, who clearly didn't mach her body, she and others had to tell the truth ver and over again. In order to avoid to be neurotic or suffer massive psychological consequences, Chihiro had to choose either one of the stories and believe in that one only. And now, as a sixteen year old girl, Chihiro never thought of her adventure in the Spirit Realm.

Being Chihiro

<Unbelievable. Third day in a row Manani asked me for a date. When will he ever give up? The other girls claims that I should be grateful and accept, just because he happens to be the most handsome guy at school or whatever. Sometimes they really bug me, all these little chitchatters who can't see beyond the shell. As if looks were the most important! And I really don't care much for guys anyhow. Why would I ever do that? Especially not about Manani.

Ma -na -ni. Manani. What kind of name is that anyway? The short form would be Mana or Nani. Wow, please, show me your feminine side by your name! THAT will impress me. But in truth he's usually called Zoyma. His last name. Far better.>

Chihiro turned over lying on her right side, away from the window. Her bed had not been made this morning -and why should it? Every day the same, the new day an echo of yesterday and giving a hint of tomorrow. Her room in the blue house on the hill was a bit childish but it filled its purpose. Chihiro knew she wouldn't stay for so many more years, so why change it? A bed, a desk, some carpets and a comfortable chair put in a corner. That was it. No books, no stereo. It was the room of a person who's seldom spending several hours in a row in that room. With a sight Chihiro turned over again, lying at her belly and squeezing the pillow beneath her, letting her mind wander.

<There's no fun about dates. Two people who is incapable of conversing each other decides that it would be a good idea to take a cup of tea together. Naturally, it isn't. They fumble with the cups, stumbles while going to a table and when they finally talk, they always stutter. Not that I ever have been on a date myself, but the others have told me.>

Chihiro sighted again.

Chihiro turned over on her back again, holding her hands under her neck and crossing left leg over right. This new decision exhilarated her and a giggle bubbled up from her stomach.

With a comforting feeling, Chihiro dozed off.

Interruption:

Chihiro had turned out to be a lovely young woman. She was kind of tall but still puny, with modest woman attributes. Her limbs were slim and gave a graceful and agile impression. Chihiro's face wasn't as perfect. Her cheeks were still roundish, but more facetted and better fit to her face. The lovely blush who so often flew over her chins softened the childish impression and turned it into a young woman's naive sensual feelings. Chihiros eyes had kept their dark brilliance but were now framed by dark, long lashes. Mascara is good for every girl. Her hair had grown long, longer than even Lin's. It was because of her Chihiro had let it grow in the first place. Not that she thought of that anymore - now she claimed that she always wanted long hair. Chihiro styled her hair the same way still, it was only longer now. One single ponytail in her neck, letting her hair flow everywhere around her waist. To bride it- no. Long hair is not to be bride by the owner, but by a lover.

Chihiro had good grades, not the best, but over normal. She was clever, smart, fun and her self ironical tendency took the brilliance of her so that other people could accept her despite her success. She chose often philosophical topics and sometimes religious, but could also discuss the latest fashion or sports results. Shortly said; Chihiro was the kind of young woman every girl wished they were sometimes.

"Chihiro. Chihiro! It's dinner time! Chihiro?"

Chihiro woke up when her mother called and knocked at her door. Drowsy and unwilling to leave the bed, Chihiro crawled her clothes back on and yelled:

"I'm coming!"

<I hate to fall asleep before dinner! It messes up my appetite. Damn skirt! Why can't they just slip on and off, these lousy modern clothes? All these zips and buttons and the devil and his aunt... (OK, that's a worthless foreign expression. I promise I'll never use it again, ever.)

Mom has went down to the kitchen again, I can hear. Good. I do not like when she waits for me to come out, then I have to crowd with her in the stairs. Well, now I look presentable. Family gathering, here I come!>

Chihiros mom and dad stood by the stove, tasting the food by feeding each other. They started to do such romantic things after the "sleeping disorder". Chihiro used to be ashamed of that, but now she knew better. She was happy to have such a loving family. Chihiro scrubbed her fist against the wall while entering and stomped harder than necessarily, just to get her mom and dad aware of her presence. They turned towards her.

"Ah, Chihiro, there you are! The table is set, you can just sit down and wait. I'll serve as soon as your father stops eating from the pot."

"I wouldn't do if you could stop casting spells over you food, woman! One bite forces me to gobble up the rest of it."

"And I guess all chefs at restaurants and stuff casts the same spell when you arrive at their places, huh?"

Chihiro went to the dining room, leaving her parents to tease each other in privacy.

<I really hope I can have a relationship like that in the future... Too bad total honesty would be required to accomplish that. Who would ever believe I had been in another world? Who would believe that I once flew on a dragon's neck? Huh, do I even believe it myself? Probably just a dream. I wish I for once could be satisfied with the wonders of this world.

Having dinner with mom and dad is always a pleasure. Today we talked about the big anti-pollution demonstration who is to be held here in town. I had already proclaimed that I was to ditch school that day and help the organisation for free. Mom and dad really appreciated that I were honest with them and now they asked about my task. I'm only going to carry a banner and give people folders- and later, help to pick up and recycle the same folders. But it was fun to be able to enthusiasm my parents in my interests.>

"Chihiro? Your dad and I were thinking of go for a ride with the car, so you'll be alone tonight. What are your plans?"

"Um, maybe you could give me a ride to the park, so I could go for a walk. I can walk back home later."

"Ok, then that's decided."

"But I sure hope you're driving, mom!"

Chihiro went back to her room for two hours and turned over the pages in her school books, but her mind drifted.

<So, I now have decided to accept Manani's offer and I would tell him tomorrow. It will be fun for sure, but still, I doubt a little. I mean... it is...Arhg!>

Chihiro rose from the floor and walked around in her room, back and forth over and over.

<I do not want to think of him. I do not want to think of him! It's ridiculous. He hasn't showed up or left a message. For sure, he has forgotten totally about me. I was just a little girl back then, no more than a little helpless brat. And ugly was I too, I can tell from pictures. Even if he remembered me, he wouldn't want to see me. Why would he?

And it's foolish of me to climber on a dream. I better stay in this human world and try as hard as I can to fit in it. A date with Manani would help for sure. A start of my new life. I simply have to end this torment now!>

"Chihiro, time to go!"

"I'm coming!"

As Chihiro entered the car, she swore she would not ever again dream or think of Kohaku. He was just a figure in a dream she had dreamt as a child. Reality called, and she would answer.

Chapter five to follow.