Spirited Away Fan Fiction ❯ Spirited Within ❯ Pain and Warmth ( Chapter 3 )

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“Come in.” croaked a familiar voice.

Haku reached out to pull the door open, but as he grasped for it, the door swung open on its own accord. Haku shivered as the door squeaked loudly on its hinges. It sounded as though he was entering his jail cell.

Entering an elaborately decorated hallway, Haku took the complicated twist and turns that would lead him to Yubaba's office. The more he walked, the more richly adorned the walls and furniture became. Golden candelabras hung brightly from the painted ceiling and bedecked the walls with a luminous glow.

Haku struggled to keep his face stony and expressionless. Keeping all emotion out of talking about his work made it easier to bear. Yet, Chihiro had drawn out a feeling in him that he couldn't express. All Haku knew was he longed to see her again.

Haku closed his eyes for a split second as he let himself picture her sweet face. Her eyes shined bright and her smile crinkled her round cherub face. The wind caressing her hair tail and swishing her bangs around her forehead. Haku drank in the image. The sweet sound of her. The twinkling signal of her breath. Her interesting clothes. Everything about her made him feel so curious and different. He didn't understand himself. Why was he feeling his way? Just thinking of her made him feel such warmth. Such happiness. Such emotion.

At that thought, Haku stiffened. `I mustn't act this way.' He thought worriedly. `I wonder if Yubaba has already sensed my strong feelings.' At that consideration, Haku slipped his passion inside of him. He buried it quickly, and suddenly his manner was replaced by cold and emptiness. It was as if Haku was nothing. Just a tool.

But that's what he was, right? Just a tool for Yubaba to use to achieve more power and money? Just a simple hammer being forced by a hand to drive nails of destruction wherever the hand had whim? She wished for everything and he knew he would kill himself to give it to her. She wished for money and Haku would bring the most he could carry. She wished for power and Haku would use his strength to the last drop he had to give it to her.

She wished for death and he would, without question, bring death.

He wasn't a tool. He was the definition of devastation and annihilation.

Reaching Yubaba's office, Haku opened the dark wooden door and stepped into the gloomy, rich colors that made up the carpets and the furniture that laid spread out around the room. Lacing his fingers behind his back, he turned to face the wall to his right. A fire in the mantel behind him let off a warming light, but Haku hardly noticed it at all. Every fiber of his being concentrated on what was sitting behind a mahogany desk in front of him.

Yubaba, whose eye-shadow matched her blue dress disgustingly perfect, sat scratching away at sheet of paper with a golden quill. Her different colored rings sparkled with firelight as her fingers moved the quill back and forth, signing signatures with a flourish. The reflection of the rings cast multiple rays of light against her pale wrinkled skin. Her long nose, which poked very distractingly from her head, supported moon shaped glasses that rested on her bridge between her downcast eyes. A huge mole planted itself right between two silver eyebrows. An enormous roll of silver hair sat on her head, which stayed in place by well placed chopsticks. Her desk was cluttered with papers, measurements and several little coin bags; no doubt holding the profit of last night's business.

As Haku took in the sight of her, she stopped her scratching and gazed up at him with cold brown eyes.

“Ah, Haku.” She said, in feint surprise. “I see you made it back. Well, tell me young dragon, what did you find out?”

Haku answered at once. “I found the location of the golden seal.”

“Annnnnd….?” Yubaba drew out the question, looking up fully from her work, her attention truly captivated.

“The seal is within Zeniba herself.” Haku responded mechanically. “She keeps it inside of her by swallowing the seal and stifling the radiational charge by putting a strong controlling potion in her tea. It keeps the seal still and harmless. She subdues the power and believes it will stay safe within her. My guess is that she was tipped off that you were searching for it, so she has made extra precaution.”

“I never asked for your opinion!” Yubaba snapped viciously, tossing her hands up and throwing her quill through the air. She visibly calmed herself in a fraction of a second and beckoned her hand at the airborne quill. It zoomed obediently back into her outstretched hand.

“This is easily taken care of.” She whispered evilly. “Good work, dragon. Good work indeed. Now be silent while I think of correct plan of spells.” Yubaba continued to mutter to herself, as she stared off into the cheerful fire behind Haku's shoulder. “Zeniba thinks that she can trick me. She can't hide it like that forever. Sometime it will react…”

Haku stood frozen in front of her, his hands folded behind his back and let her mumble. Whatever she was planning it didn't look good for him. Most likely she was planning an even more dangerous mission for him to try to accomplish. Haku still couldn't help picturing sneaking into Zeniba's house this time and physically reaching down her throat with his bare hands to retrieve the seal.

Yubaba ceased her murmuring and locked her gaze on Haku's face. The only sound that could be heard was the crackling of the happy fire in the hearth.

Suddenly, her expression changed from its mused expression and settled for a malicious smirk. Light from her fire entered her eyes in such a way that it actually frightened him. They seemed to twinkle at him almost wickedly.

Haku knew her thoughts had changed from his mission. They were on something else now. Something entirely different.

Her croaky voice broke through the silence of the room. “I have some questions for you, Haku, and I want you to answer me faithfully.” Haku kept his posture and returned her gaze, unblinkingly. “You know that I will be able to tell if you lie to me. You know I can break you. So, please, for your sake, do try to be truthful.”

Haku's breathing stopped for a few seconds as the lock holding his emotions inside of him, cracked slightly. `If this is about Chihiro, then I will endure the pain. I have to endure the pain… Her protection is worth any excruciating torture that this world could ever bring…'

Haku concreted his face to a solid dull expression. Shoving his uprising emotions even more within, Haku braced himself for the pain that was surely going to come.

“Answer me, Haku. Did you arrive back here early this afternoon?” Yubaba asked, in mock innocence. Haku knew immediately that she was playing with him. Toying with him to see what his reaction would be.

“Yes, I did” he answered lifelessly, his facial expression blank and impenetrable.

“And what did you do while you were having your self-given break? Were you not instructed to come back to my quarters as soon as you had come?”

Haku remained silent and still.

“Why did you then disobey my direct orders? Why did you disappear from my senses and then reappear leading a human into my bathhouse?” Haku felt a shiver run through his spine.

“Not only that, but the human was from others who ate the spirits food. Can this be true, dragon? You really thought that you could save her? I have the right to turn her into any animal I choose just because she came here.” Yubaba put down her quill and a pre-lit cigarette took its place.

Smoke billowed out of her huge nose, as she continued her speech. “Can you have tried to protect a human from me and hope to hide your actions? Really, young dragon, I thought you were smarter then this. I thought that you had grown in wisdom, not in stupidity.

“I hope after I teach you this lesson, you will learn not to disobey me again. I thought I had taught you the first time you tried something funny with me, but I guess I hadn't made it clear to you. I will wait for you to admit your wrong with patience. But know this: You deserve every second. I will ask you only two questions and if you answer it correctly, I will stop. But if not…” She paused, grinning evilly. “Well, we'll just have to wait and see.”

Yubaba cleared her throat softly and asked, “Did you or did you not help a young girl into the bathhouse? And is it true you know her exact location at this moment?”

Haku stared blankly into Yubaba's malicious eyes and remained silent as ever.

“Very well.”

Bracing himself, he watched as her hand lifted from her desk. Her many colored rings spread their unusual colored light around the room as they reflected the happy fire behind him.

Smiling nastily, Yubaba squeezed her upraised hand into a tight fist.

Immediate fire-hot pain hit through his abdominal track and Haku closed his eyes tight against the shout of anguish that wished to release from him. Clenching his fist and baring his teeth, he stood standing as streaks of flaming trails raced paths through his veins, up his back and into his neck. Agony filled all his senses. He tried to breathe, but his usual surfactant filled lungs wouldn't inflate.

Heart racing, Haku fell to his knees. His shaking hands clutched his now throbbing skull.

Fighting against his will, Haku attempted to push the unknown force out of his body with magic, but the strain from the effort shot pain in his chest. The fire continually spread through him like poison. The blaze trickled up the back of his neck and entered his brain.

The fire surrounded him. The fire engulfed him.

Through his wrenching anguish, he heard a strange slithering voice whisper through his blaring head, `If you'd just say yes, then I will make the fire leave you… Just tell Yubaba where the girl is and I will stop… Obey Yubaba… Serve Yubaba… Tell her and I promise I will release you… All you have to do is say…'

`Say… yes?' Haku asked it weakly.

`That's right. Just say yes and I will stop.'

Haku needn't be in this pain. He could stop the fire. All he had to do was say…

`No.'

`No?' snaked in the whisper. `That is your reply? You will not stop this?'

`No.'

Hearing his defiance through her own mind connection, Yubaba clenched her upraised fist tighter.

Holding in his cries of agony, Haku lost his balance on his knees. His scorched skull slammed against the rough red carpet as a wave of white-hot pain shot through his entire body. He tucked his legs to his chest and pulled on his dark green hair with trembling hands to stifle the howl that wished to escape him.

He felt himself start to loose consciousness.

He was suffocating from lack of oxygen.

The pain encircled his spirit

It has to… stop… please… stop the fire…

`Say yes.' The slippery voice whispered again.

Through his wavering subconscious, he saw Chihiro's face. He studied her round, innocent features and heard the sweet sound of her breathing. Her small mouth turned into a bright smile and her eyes crinkled with joy. As he phased in and out through the darkness in his mind, her image stayed with him.

Her expression changed suddenly to a petrified gaze and fright consumed her stare. Her fear penetrated his head even more than the pain. Even though she truly wasn't with him, her scared appearance surrounded his agony. She fed in him the strange warmth he felt before and it soothed his inflicted body. He would never give in to Yubaba. Chihiro was safe forever from her.

`No.'

Suddenly, the pain was released. Haku untangled the hair from his hands and relaxed his tense arms. The ache leisurely subsided from his abdomen and neck, allowing him to undo his fetal position. Slowly, he uncurled his knees and loosened up his tight facial muscles. Lying on his back, he rested a hand against his chest. Gradually, Haku breathed in a refreshing dose of air. Keeping his eyes closed, he inhaled and exhaled deeply; stretching his deflated lungs.

“Pick yourself off the floor. I cannot have you sprawled out in the middle of my office. Leave at once and collect yourself. I will send for you later.” Yubaba's voice sounded annoyed, but, oddly enough, had an impressed tone to it.

Haku hardly listened as he continued to rest on the scratchy carpet with his eyes closed. The aura of Chihiro still surrounded him. He fed off her comforting image and felt strength return.

Struggling to sit up, Haku braced his hands on the floor. Still feeling the remains of his torture session, he eventually forced his dull throbbing limbs to carry him to standing position. He opened his eyes to look into the dark gaze of Yubaba once again. She had lowered her hand to rest upon the mahogany desk. Her quill rested on the parchment and papers that still littered her counter.

“She will come to see me soon, I expect.” Yubaba said, nonchalantly. “I will give in for now, dragon, but do not expect to win again.”

Haku strived to remain upright as he wobbled with uncertainty on his weak legs.

“Leave now and consider yourself punished. I will not be so easy next time, Haku. You had better start behaving properly or I will put you with the forgotten where you belong. Now leave me. I will send for you later when I am in need of your assistance.”

Nodding his pulsating skull at Yubaba, Haku limped to the dark wooden door. Opening the door with a trembling hand, he made his way through the bright hallways once again. He willed his legs to keep him moving as he hobbled past the bright colored paintings and furniture.

On and on, he continued his journey. He never stopped pushing himself as he forced each leg to follow the other. In his head were filled with thoughts of Chihiro. Her sweet voice. Her small, pure, angelic, face. She was worth every second of that agony. Her safety was worth everything.

Slowly, Haku came to a fork in the hallway. One branched right, the other left. The right side continued the path of rosy carpet and bright chandeliers which draped the entire hall in glowing hue. The left was dark, carpet less, and had absolutely no light. Haku turned immediately left and entered the shadowy corridor. Turning left again on the next opportunity, Haku had finally reached his destination: His room.

Through the glass door that served as an opening to his bedroom, the darkness swallowed the sharp, murky corners. His room was not spacious. Nor was it well decorated. It had just enough room for his futon. Small as it was, the room did have its good points. It branched off into a balcony that led outside. The glass door made up the entire west wall of his room.

The balcony was a small and not very sturdy platform with a red railing around the sides and front. Though it had threatened to fall more than once in the past, Haku loved this part of his room. He spent most of his time staring out into the western sky.

Opening the glass door, Haku entered and spotted his futon on the floor. Though his body told him to lie down, he ignored his futon and, with weak arms, slid open the window. Upon entering outside, a strong wind greeted him. It blew across his sore head and caressed his tender muscles. Leaning against the red wood of the balcony railing, he stared at the familiar green that surrounded his view. Here he could gather his strength until Yubaba called for him again.

Nature would heal his broken body.

Haku grasped the railing tightly for help as he lowered his trembling body onto the wooden platform. Bare feet danged off, he rested his arms on the lowest barrier.

The blustering stream of cool air continually brushed alongside him. He relaxed his clenched muscles and sighed his held screams into the breeze.

A familiar smell came to him as he gazed out at Aburaya's beauty. It held a sense of excitement and triumph. Haku smiled.

It was his wind. His spirit.

`Did she make it?' Haku asked, as the blowing gust swept his face. It stroked his cheek, reassuringly. Haku sighed again.

It lifted his hair and blew on his tense neck. Haku felt his strength returning as he listened to the sound of the outside nature. The trees ruffled their leaves as the wind raced through the gardens. Flowers smiled and giggled as insects tickled their stems. Below him, the stone path, which he had just led Chihiro through, ran trails around the shrubs and grassy beds. Chips of birds could be heard, singing distantly, their song of love and protection.

Stretching his draping legs, he experienced a cooling sensation run up his legs. Immediately the cramps ceased as the refreshing phenomenon continued its way upward. It soothed every ache and pain that quailed him. It consumed his entire body in sweet contentment.

Closing his eyes to the feeling of comfort, Haku let his mind wonder off into thoughts.

Now that he was assured the Chihiro had made it to Kamaji, he wondered where she was now. Had she made it yet? Was she on her way? Did Rin help her as the thought she would?

`If she continues to ask for a job, then she'll get one. Yubaba was forced to that oath. Yubaba will have to give her a job.'

Yubaba was bounded to something, just like they all were.

Chihiro… just thinking about her made him feel that unknown warmth again. Try as he might, it was as though something was hidden deep within himself. He couldn't remember why. He couldn't grasp how he could have known her. It was like a dream… a watery, murky dream…

Shaking his now healed head slightly, Haku leaned backward and laid placed his hands behind his head.

`Now that everyone thinks that I am trying to help her, I have to be extra severe on her. It will be better for her if she believes that I don't care. I can't react to her if I see her. Especially around Yubaba. I defiled her questions but it would only confirm them if I treated Chihiro with any special treatment. Yubaba will be watching me everywhere to see what I'll do.'

Haku didn't want to be cruel to Chihiro. She had done more for him then she will ever know. Jus the very image of her drove his pain away.

Though he didn't like it, Haku knew what he had to do.

He'd have to make it up to her later… somehow…

As if by summons, Yubaba's voice entered his head.

`Come, dragon. I need you.' She sounded more frustrated then Haku could ever make her.

Getting up from his platform, Haku breathed in the fresh air one more time. His wind swirled around him swiftly and told him it'd be waiting for him. And with that Haku turned and left his room.