Star Trek - Series Fan Fiction ❯ Coda to "Shattered ❯ Chapter 1

Coda to “Shattered”

Rating: PG

Author: ChibiMethos

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Disclaimer: Paramount owns everything. And there's nothing we can do about it.

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YEAR 7

As Commander Chakotay turned to leave, Captain Kathryn Janeway hesitantly voiced her thoughts. She'd been watching him all day and was a little disturbed how easily she trusted him and how all thoughts of Mark flew out of her head. She hardly knew this man, and all she wanted was for him to take her in his arms and kiss her senseless. She swallowed, her voice huskier than she wanted. If he knew her as well as he claimed, then he knew what she was envisioning and that made her feel vulnerable, exposed.

“Chakotay, just how closed do we get?” There. It was out and there was no taking it back. She took a breath and held it, watching his expressive, achingly handsome face. He looked startled, then resigned, sadness flickering across his face. Kathryn pushed down the surge of melancholy that shot through her. She'd only known him for 6 hours and already the thought of losing him was unbearable. But she could read his face easily enough: she'd let Star Fleet get in the way.

Chakotay looked levelly at the woman before him. She was 6 years younger than the woman he loved, but this was the face he'd first been greeted by when the Liberty entered the Delta Quadrant. She'd stood on the bridge, hands on her hips, and his first thought at seeing her was;

`Star Fleet must think really badly of me to send a beautiful woman to bring me in.'

Now, though, his eyes spoke of sadness as she read the truth behind his gaze. But at the same time, if he was seeing what he thought he was, here was a chance to change history, to grab a chance at happiness. He smirked. Of course, that would be a gross violation of the Temporal Prime Directive. She wouldn't want that. Chakotay looked Kathryn in the eye.

“There are . . .some barriers . . .” He started, reluctant to say what must be said. But before he finished, she surged forward, and their lips met. Chakotay's world tilted on its axis, but he quickly recovered, pulling Kathryn closer, his tongue tracing her lips, seeking entrance. Her lips parted under his, and he deepened the kiss. Finally, reluctantly they separated, needing air.

Kathryn couldn't believe she was letting this gorgeous, passionate man who was obviously madly in love with her slip through her fingers.

“Let me guess; I'm holding you at arms length?” She asked, pulling back.

“Yes,” he said quietly. Kathryn's heart broke. She glanced around Engineering, which was deserted, more to avoid his gaze that anything. Then she made a decision.

“I won't remember this will I?” she asked. Chakotay shook his head. Her kiss was permanently burned onto his lips and he wasn't sure how he was going to survive now, knowing the taste of her lips after all this time and never being able to touch her again.

“Good.” Kathryn grabbed his hand and dragged him into B'Elanna's office. “How much time do we have?”

“I have one more gel pack to inject, then you have to return to the Bridge.” Chakotay was hoping against hope that she wasn't about to do something foolish, and at the same time hoping she would. Kathryn shut the door.

“I have known you for 6 hours and the thought of not having you with me scares me.” Chakotay's eyebrow rose.

“Kathryn Janeway—scared? Never happen.” She backed up against the desk and hopped up on it, tossing aside the hypo spray belt. She held her arms out to him in invitation. He didn't hesitate. Kathryn was surprised at his aggressiveness, but at the same time, it was thrilling to not to have to be in charge. He pulled her bun down and ran his long fingers through her hair.

“I love your hair long,” his whispered against her neck. She suspected he was giving her a hickey, but it wouldn't last, so she relented. He raised his eyes to hers and kissed her again.

“I cut it?”

“Later,” He had the zipper of her jacket down and his hands found warm flesh. Kathryn surrendered to his ministrations, wondering in the back of her mind how she could have denied herself this man.

The frantic coupling often reserved for cadets in shuttles and jefferies tubes wasn't really what Chakotay wanted from his first time with Kathryn, but given the way their relationship was going, he'd take what he could get. Before she left to return to the Bridge, the younger Kathryn kissed him again.

“I know I won't remember this, so you will have to make me remember.” She smiled. “After all, I fell in love in 6 hours. Imagine how I'll feel after 7 years.”

Kathryn returned to the Bridge, spoke with Harry and took her seat, stiffly. She wondered if everything would be alright between them. She hoped so. Chakotay had stirred her in a way that Mark hadn't even come close to. She had just said good-by to Mark that morning, and now, she was hopelessly in love with another man. She sat back, gripping the armrests, bracing herself against the time realignment. As the invisible wave passed over her and reset her memories, Kathryn recalled that she had forgotten to go to Sick Bay to have her contraceptive booster. And after 7 years of living like a monk, would Chakotay have had any reason to keep taking his?

`Could I be—'

It only took a minute to inject the last gel pack and Chakotay soon found himself back in Engineering with B'Elanna, standing before the warp engine. He went to a work-station and punched in the commands to keep Voyager in one time frame. He assigned repair teams to fix the deflector dish, the returned to the Bridge.

Kathryn was in her chair as Chakotay stepped off the turbolift.

“Do you mind telling me why B'Elanna burned out the deflector dish?” She asked, incredulously. Chakotay resisted the urge to shake his head and, unconsciously emulating her favorite pose, put his hands on his hips.

“Actually, I ordered her to do it.”

Her eyebrow went up. “Why?”

“Trust me, it was better than the alternative.” Harry glanced at them, then back at the Ops console. He was inputting instructions for the repair crews and monitoring their progress. He hopped they'd vacate the Bridge soon, so he could finish his shift. It was his night to be in the Big Chair.

“Which was what, exactly?”

“I can't tell you.”

“Why not?” She demanded.

“The Temporal Prime Directive.” Kathryn frowned slightly, the words sparking a flash of memory that wouldn't surface. She tried to grab it, but it was gone as fast as it had come. Chakotay was still talking.

“B'Elanna's already got a team working on repairs. What'd you say we finish our dinner?”

He touched her knee, drawing her attention back to him. She was still trying to recall whatever it was that had stirred at his words, but the memory just wouldn't form. She stood up, deciding without conscious thought to try and wheedle it out of him behind closed doors. She stood, turning the Bridge back over to Harry and they returned to her quarters.

***

As they lingered over cider wine after dinner, laughing and talking, Chakotay couldn't help but recall Kathryn's face as they made love in B'Elanna's office which for him was just a few hours ago. He sighed softly and took another sip. Kathryn eyed him speculatively.

“What's wrong?”

Chakotay shook his head. “Nothing, just . . .remembering.”

She smiled and started to ask him what when a small, red-haired boy of about 6 suddenly emerged from the bedroom. Chakotay's eyebrow shot up, surprised, but Kathryn immediately put down her glass and took the child onto her lap. The child was clutching a ratty yellow blanket and a teddy bear and wearing a shirt Chakotay recognized as one of his own as a sleep shirt. The boy rubbed sleep clouded eyes and leaned back against Kathryn's breasts, snuggling as only a small child could.

“You bein' loud,” he announced in a sleepy, slightly annoyed voice. Kathryn's eyes soften as she gazed at him and she smiled, kissing him on one cheek. The boy wiped his cheek with his shoulder, a small smile creeping across his face, indicating this was a familiar and much loved ritual. She changed sides and gave him a raspberry on the left cheek. This elicited a giggle and even Chakotay smiled.

“Mommie!” He protested.

“What?” She did it again and he laughed gaily, wiggling as he tried to free himself from her grasp. She tickled him and he laughed harder. Chakotay wondered when she'd had the child, and who his father was, but at the same time, images of Kathryn, swollen with child, standing on the bridge, flashed through his mind. Her lying in Sick Bay, he at her side, coaching her through a difficult labour, holding the boy the first time and falling totally in love with him.

`I know this child. I love him, he's—'

“You and Daddy are bein' loud. I have to sleep.”

`Daddy?!'

Chakotay's face froze for a second, and he quickly sat forward to refill his glass, hoping Kathryn wouldn't notice. The word echoed in his head, making him nervous, but at the same time, it sounded . . .right. This was his son. Maybe not biologically, but he had helped to raise him. He had lost sleep because of the 0200 feedings, had become a master at changing diapers in the dark and had walked the boy so Kathryn could sleep as he suffered with colic and began cutting teeth. He had helped him take his first steps while Kathryn had stood beside them, holo camera rolling. He'd been in charge of filming the birthday parties on the holodeck, and had been the child's first word.

Yes, Daddy sounded right.

Kathryn tickled the child again, then smoothed his slightly too long red hair.

“We're sorry. Now, we promise to be more quite if you little mister, go back to bed. Tomorrow's your first day of school.” The child turned to kneel in her lap.

“Do I hav' to?”

“Yes. Naomi and Icheb will be with you. It'll be fine. You'll have so much fun.”

He shook his head at the mention of the older girl. “She likes Icheb, so she won't play wif me anymore.”

Both adults smiled, exchanging amused glances over his head. Kathryn looked him in the eye.

“I'm sure she still wants to be your friend, Taidghín*.” Kathryn reassured him.

 

“No,” His voice was firm. “She wants to be Icheb's friend.” He glanced at Chakotay, then lowered his voice conspiratorially. “She wants to play HOUSE with him. For REAL.”

Chakotay looked out the view port, knowing if he made eye contact with Kathryn, they'd both start laughing. Taidghín's head bobbed into his sightline.

Taidghín Edward Amal Janeway. The child's name flashed through his mind. He smiled. Leave it to Kathryn to give such a small boy such a huge name to live up to. Amal—that was his grandfather's name. He took a closer look at Taidghín.

The hair was all Kathryn, but the dimples, dark eyes and dusky skin made it obvious who his father was.

`So he my son, in blood as well as sprit. Not Mark, or some unnamed Other. Me.'

Male pride battled briefly with his conscious. He'd wanted to change the past, and he had. One night with Kathryn he'd gained a healthy, beautiful son. He could see the dimple already forming in the boy's chin. He was going to be a Lady Killer when he got older. Taidghín smiled up at his mother, dimples flashing and Chakotay watched in amusement as she relented to a request.

`Scratch that, he's a Lady Killer now.'

He had missed the first 6 years of the boy's life, but that didn't seem right either. Memories were surfacing at warp speed, the old time line vanishing and blending seamlessly with this new reality. Chakotay refilled Kathryn glass and set the empty cider bottle aside.

“Are you jealous, son?” He asked, watching Kathryn.

She seemed younger, somehow. Even thought the stresses of the last 7 years were greater because of Taidghín, at the same time, his presence had kept her young. No hiding and wallowing in depression while they were in the Void, she'd had to stay positive for her then 3 year old son, keep his spirits up, because he was afraid of the dark.

Taidghín glanced sharply at Chakotay, frowning slightly. His pale red brows snapped together, then he turned back to Kathryn.

“No,” he quickly denied. “Well . . .a little. She won't play Ko'is-Kot with me anymore.”

Kathryn sighed and stood up. “Well, the two—three of you will just have to work this out between you. Now, we are putting you back in the bed and you will stay there.”

Chakotay followed her to the doorway of the boy's room, watching her and she tucked him into the bed. She kissed him on the forehead and pressed the bear into his arms.

“Good night, Taidgh.” She turned to leave.

“Mommie?” She paused.

“Yes, dear?”

“Are you and Daddy goin' on `nother `way mission?” She smiled in a sad way and Chakotay knew they went through this every night and had for the last 5 years.

“Not for a long while.” Taidghín smiled in relief and closed his eyes.

“Good.”

The adults left the room, Chakotay thoughtful. Taidghín had been nearly 2 when they had been infected by that mysterious bug and been forced to into quarantine on New Earth. They were there for 4 months, without their son, who was horribly traumatized by the whole experience. For months after their return, he'd followed them everywhere, afraid to let them out of his sight or to sleep, convinced they wouldn't be there when he awoke.

Kathryn had been forced to wear a sling to carry the toddler around with her as she worked. Chakotay took him a night when he wouldn't sleep. He didn't remember being that tired since he was a cadet. The Doctor said his reluctance to walk, drink from a cup and do other `Big Boy' things was his way of coping. Taidghín was acting as if he were a baby again, because that for him was a safe memory. It took a lot of coaxing, bribery, sleepless nights and sore backs from carrying a two year old around for hours on end before he could be persuaded they wouldn't disappear.

Clearly, even now, the memory still disquieted him. Chakotay sighed and rubbed his eyes. That was only time he'd actively considered ejecting the boy from the nearest airlock. He loved him, but what kind of example was the command team setting, falling asleep on the bridge? The Doctor actually reprogrammed the replicators to refuse Kathryn's requests for coffee she was drinking so much of it.

The crew understood and sympathized. They helped out as much as they could, covering duty shifts, babysitting, and offering a shoulder to cry on. Not that they had taken advantage of that last offer. When they were alone and Taidghín would sleep for a few minutes, then Kathryn cried and Chakotay did too. But thankfully, those days were behind them.

***

Chakotay helped Kathryn clean up their dinner and said goodnight. He knew he kept a few things in her rooms, but he didn't live here. Alone in his quarters, Chakotay looked over his logs, and they confirmed his memories. He also discovered that he had never married Kathryn, despite the fact that the crew treated them as if they were. He sat down at his desk, and looked at the pictures on it. One of Kathryn, a newborn Taidghín in her arms, the child playing in the sand on the holodeck and a picture of his sister and her family which she'd sent in the last data stream.

Chakotay picked up the picture of Taidghín playing in the sand. The boy was covered head to toe with dirt, a structure that vaguely resembled Voyager sculpted from sand before him. Chakotay smiled.

“I have a son,” He said aloud, wanting to taste the words. They were . . .right. The other reality faded completely.

Taidghín had always been there, and always would. Chakotay knew he'd give his life in a heartbeat to save the boy. He put the picture down and went into the bathroom for a shower. As he stood under the stinging hot spray, he wondered idly why he and Kathryn had never married. They'd never talked about it, and they weren't engaged, but everyone acted as if they were married and he always introduced her as his wife when they were on shore leave.

Chakotay cut the water and dried off quickly. His combadge was beside the bed. He lay down and after a moment, reached over and tapped it.

“Chakotay to Janeway.”

“Janeway here.”

“Kathryn, tell me something? Why haven't we gotten married yet?”

Kathryn laughed, her voice low and husky. “I . . .suppose . . .we just never got around to it.”

“Hmm. When's your next call to Admiral Paris?”

“Tomorrow, why?”

“I'd like to speak with him if I could.”

He heard her shrug. “Sure, it was mostly a social call anyway. Take the whole time if you need to.”

“Thank you, Kathryn. Goodnight.” He hesitated. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. Good night, Chakotay.” She cut the link and he ordered the lights off. Tomorrow, he would speak to Admiral Paris and see about getting one glaring omission corrected.

***

“I'd be honoured,” Admiral Owen Paris beamed at Chakotay. “Gretchen and Phoebe will want to be here as well.”

“Of course,” Chakotay quickly agreed. “Just let me know when you're ready. I was hoping next month—”

“Perfect,” the older man cut him off. “Is there anyone from your family you'd like to be here?”

“Not really, sir. My sister is on Betazed at the moment and my cousin in Ohio is only a nodding acquaintance at best. My side of the aisle will be empty, I'm afraid.”

Owen nodded. “Very well. You have one month to sow the last of your wild oats, Commander.”

Chakotay laughed. “I have a 6 year old son, sir. I'm . . .going to leave that for him to do in about . . .13 years.” They shared a laugh and terminated the link before it fully degraded.

With Tom and B'Elanna's help, Chakotay had the whole ship in on his plans, without Kathryn finding out. She nearly caught them a couple of times, but they were successful in keeping her curiosity at bay. On the day of the big event, Taidghín was with Neelix and Naomi because Chakotay was afraid the boy couldn't hold water. Kathryn was on her way to the bridge when she was ambushed by B'Elanna, Samantha Wildman, and Seven.

The three women dragged her back to her quarters and began fixing her hair and doing her makeup.

“What are you doing?” She kept asking, trying escape. Finally, Sam went to the replicator.

“Dress 114, Alpha size 4.” Kathryn stopped fighting with B'Elanna.

“What?” She gasped as the dove grey gown shimmered into view. “Why—what has Chakotay done now?”

Sam held up the dress. “He wants you to wear this.” Finally beginning to realize what was happening, Kathryn began to cry, but tried not to because she'd ruin her make-up.

“I . . . I can't believe he . . .managed this,” she sobbed as they pulled her hair up and pinned on her short veil. “Without my finding out.”

“Oh, it was a ship wide effort ma'am,” Sam smiled and stood back. “There. Now, we're only missing four things.”

“Oh?” Seven looked the captain over. “I see nothing missing.” Sam smiled indulgently at the younger woman.

“It's a tradition. Something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue,” Sam and B'Elanna recited together.

Kathryn smiled. “I have something that may fulfill part of that.” She went to her jewelry box and took out a necklace with four purplish-blue stones.

“Oh, Captain,” Sam sighed. “It's beautiful.”

“Where did you get it?” B'Elanna asked.

“On the planet where I rescued you and Tuvok from that military prison.”

B'Elanna nodded. “I remember. That sweet old man thought you were his daughter.”

“Ralkanna. This was his wife's and he wanted his daughter to have it.” Kathryn's smile was sad. “He put it on me and I was still wearing it when we were beamed back to Voyager. I think he'd want me to wear it.”

The gathered women agreed, even Seven, and Sam helped her with the clasp. “Perfect. You're ready.”

***

Chakotay tugged nervously at his dress uniform and Taidghín, in a miniature copy of the dress uniform, minus the pips, looked up at his father, then at the doors to Astrometrics.

“Daddy, is she comin'?”

“I hope so, son.”

B'Elanna and Harry had routed a live feed to all the monitors on the ship so that the whole crew could watch their command team tie the knot. The senior offices were the only ones that would fit in Astrometrics. The wedding march started and the doors opened. Tuvok had readily agreed to give Kathryn away, in lieu of her father.

Everyone stood as the feed crackled in from Jupiter Station, which was crowded too capacity with Star Fleet Brass and the press. Everyone wanted to be there. It was the first trans-galactic wedding. Chakotay glanced at Admiral Paris, and saw Gretchen and Phoebe sobbing happily in the background.

“Mommie looks beauty-ful,” Taidghín whispered loudly. Everyone smiled. Chakotay watched her mount the stairs to stand beside them.

“She does indeed.” Tuvok placed her hand in Chakotay's and stepped back. Ayala took his place as Best Man, while Tom and Harry flanked him as the groomsmen. B'Elanna, Seven, Sam, and Naomi took their places behind the captain.

Admiral Paris happily read the rite, and Ayala gave Chakotay the rings. The gold band was plain, except for three small stones, deep green emerald for May, which was Kathryn's birth month, a yellow-orange citrine for Chakotay's November, and a blood red garnet for Taidghín's January birth. Kathryn recognized the stones immediately and began to cry heedless of her makeup, as the cool metal slid over her finger.

Voyager shook with the applause and cheers as Admiral Paris declared them man and wife. Taidghín grinned as his parents kissed. Chakotay picked him up and the Doctor happily snapped pictures. The link was beginning to degrade, so the cake was brought in for a hasty cutting before the picture was lost for another day. Voyager and Jupiter Station toasted to the family's health and the link was lost.

Chakotay kissed his wife. “Surprised?”

“Very. In a good way. Thank you for this. I love you.”

He grinned. “I was afraid you wouldn't come; I . . . hadn't exactly asked you yet.” Kathryn laughed.

“Yes you did, right after Taidghín was born. You kissed me and asked me to marry you.” Chakotay looked surprised.

“I thought you were sleeping, you never answered me.”

“Was today answer enough?” He kissed her again.

“Plenty.” Taidghín pushed between his parents.

“Okay enough mushy stuff. I want cake.” They both gave him a stern look. “Please.”

***

YEAR 15

14 year old cadet Taidghín Janeway raced along the perfectly manicured walkways and paths of Starfleet Academy, dodging fellow students in his haste to get to the transport station. At long last, he was finally getting that younger sibling he'd been begging for for the last 8 years. His parents, Captian Chakotay and Admiral Janeway had been reluctant to have a second child, then oops, booster failed. They decided not to find out the baby's sex before birth, so Taidghín was a mass a nerves since he'd found out six months prior.

He arrived at the transport station and paused to catch his breath. Behind him, he could hear pounding feet as his friends, fellow cadet, Miral Paris, Ensign Naomi Wildman, and Lt. JG Icheb, finally caught up with him. The four of them waited impatiently for their turn on the transport pad, their Starfleet uniforms clashing oddly with they civilians around them. Icheb and Taidghín were dressed in red as they were on the command track, while Naomi was in engineering yellow and Miral in science blue.

Icheb, still panting, glared at Taidghín.

“Admiral Janway isn't going to have the baby that fast, Taj.”

Taidghín glared. “You don't know that. Great, it's our turn.” They got on the pad. “St. Teresa of Calcutta Medical Center.”

Within seconds, they were outside the hospital. They four of them pounded into the building, and raced to the turbolift. They smoothed down their uniforms and tried to get their breathing under control before they arrived. The lift deposited them on the Maturnity ward, where a stern faced nurse directed them to the last room on the ward, where a huge crowd of former Voyager crew members waited, anxiously for news.

Taidghín forced his way to the front of the crowd. “Yala! Mother!” the door opened and his father, Chakotay, looked around for his oldest son.

“Taidgh, there you are.” He followed his father into the room and shut the door. Lying serenely in the bed, The Doctor smiling proudly nearby, was his mother, the new baby asleep in her arms.

“Oh!” Taidghín whined. “I missed that whole thing!”

“Don't complain. I think my hand's broken,” Chakotay told the boy, smiling. Kathryn looked up.

“Taidghín, come and meet your brother.” Taidghín approached cautiously, and Chakotay helped him arrange his arms to support the baby. Taidghín was surprised at how little he weighed.

“Yala, we never agreed on a name.” Kathryn shared a look with Chakotay.

“True. Perhaps you'd like to name him.”

“Well, you named me after your father and Father's grandfather. Perhaps there is a way to do that again.”

Kathryn smiled. “Well, unfortunately, I don't know my grandfather's name.” Chakotay looked decidedly uncomfortable.

“I . . . have come to terms with my father, but I'm not sure if I'm prepared to name that baby after him. At least not this one.”

Katheyn's eyebrow shot up. You think there will be more?”

“Well, why not? Could be.”

“Yes,” she said, frowning. “From Taidghín.”

“All the same . . .” Taidghín looked down at his brother. His eyebrows were black, but he was otherwise bald.

“How about Darrien?” Kathryn shook her head.

“I once knew a boy named Darrien. He was a jerk.”

“Okay . . .what about Merrick?” Now Chakotay disagreed. The Doctor stepped forward.

“I have a suggestion. It was Kes' father's name, and she suggested it to Commander Wildman, before she knew the baby was a girl.”

Katheryn and Chakotay both looked interested and Taidghín looked confused.

`Kes? Who's Kes?'

“What's the name, Doctor?”

“Benaren.”

Katheryn smiled.“I like it.”

Chakotay nodded. “Me, too.”

Taidghín stood next to his father, holding Benaren while the announcement was made to their former crew. There was much applause after the announcement was made, then Tom called out:

“This is great, but what are you going to call him?”

“Benaren,” Taidghín said quietly. “After Kes' father. Benaran Edward Kolopak,” He paused and glanced at his father. “He'll be protected by all the best people we know.”

Chakotay sighed and took the baby. “You don't get to name the next one.”

“Who said there would be a next one?!” Kathryn yelled. The crew members in the waiting room laughed. Benaren opened his eyes and looked at his brother briefly, than closed them again.

Chakotay took the baby back to his mother, and the family settled down to count fingers and toes. The doctor deactivated himself and in the hallway, Naomi smiled to Icheb.

“You know, it's a tradition in my father's family to name the first son Greskrendtregk.”

Icheb gave her an odd look. “What are you saying?”

“I'm saying,” she paused. “There had better be a way to shorten the name.”

Icheb's mouth dropped open as Naomi went to go and talk to her mother.

 

END

 

ChibiMethos

©-316601.32**

 

*(TEE-gin)Irish , “little poet, little philosopher” Anglicized as Tim

**8-8-2007