Suikoden Fan Fiction ❯ Love's Just a Form of Insanity ❯ Chapter 2 ( Chapter 2 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Silverone 
Some ninja angsting...
Anime/Manga: Suikoden Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 04.14.2004 | Updated On: 05.27.2004 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.4K | Visits: 413 | Status: Completed
Some ninja angsting...
Anime/Manga: Suikoden Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 04.14.2004 | Updated On: 05.27.2004 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.4K | Visits: 413 | Status: Completed
Rating: PG-13 (just in case.)
Genres: Romance/Humor/Angst. More angst this chapter.
Pairing: Watari/Fred, initially one sided.
Warnings: Yaoi. OOCness. Odd, odd pairing.
Notes: Thanks to all those how reviewed, even the negative one. I don’t claim to be good except as a joke. As long as some people enjoy this, I’m happy.
Some Revisions have been made to this chapter.
Please Read and Review…
/_______________________________________________________________________
Chapter 2
Watari was cold and unable to move. He felt rooted, his whole body stiff.
/I’m a fool. An absolute fool. I shouldn’t have done that./
The more cautious part of his personality had warned him against trying to get the knight’s acknowledgement. He had ignored it and look where it had gotten him. He was humiliated and undone. Everyone was going to know by tomorrow. It would be unbearable and the worse thing was, Watari was trapped. Until the war was over, he would have to remain and work with these people.
/Maximillian wasn’t worth this. I should’ve known better./ It hurt demeaning himself like that and in front of someone he’d come to respect and adore. He hated the fact that he was remembering when it had started…
________________________________________________________________________
A month ago, had been a flu going around the castle, forcing a number of the soldiers to bed. Even Cecile had been forced to take time off. This left the castle without any night or day watch. The able bodied were forced to draw shifts to make up the slack.
And Watari just happened to draw the same shift as Fred. He had looked at the slip in his hand with disdain. /Why not Ayame? Why not Jacques or Toppo? Why me? Why did I have to be drawn tonight? With him of all people./ He didn’t know Fred well, but he knew enough to realize the man seriously annoyed him. More then other people in the castle. The knight was loud and full of it, always looking down on Watari as dishonorable.
That night he walked to his post, trying to tell himself that he could handle it, despite his misgivings.. After all, Maximillian couldn’t be a complete idiot.
“Watari, you are a minute late.” Fred said giving the ninja a glance.
/A minute! The clocks in that castle are slow. Besides, I had to sharpen my blades!/ He said nothing though, merely taking his post.
“I guess I can allow it to slide this once. But, remember that a minute can be the difference between life or death. We can’t allow lapses like this on the battle field.”
/I’ll show you a minute’s difference…wouldn’t take me a half second to slit your throat./ Nothing was done though…
As Watari thought about the incident, he cursed himself. /Why did he have to change? Why couldn’t he have just stayed annoying?/
“Watari, are you awake?” Fred looked at him quizzically. /Why would he ask that?/
“…” Watari nodded, saying nothing. Fred smiled apologetically.
“You are rather quiet. And since I know of some soldiers that sleep with their eyes opened…” /Eyes opened? Even I’m not that good. Does he think I’m inhuman?/
Everything was quiet again, then he felt a tenseness in the air. “Watari…why do you fight?”
/What kind of question is that?/
“Because it’s my contract.”
Fred looked at him in disbelief. “That’s all!? Surely you must have some reason? Honor, glory, something you want to protect.” The knight seemed confused by this rather boring and practical response.
/Honor. Glory. Something to protect. No, I don’t. Maybe at one time, but not now. After that day, never again./
“What about you?” The ninja was feeling strangely defensive at the moment.
“To fight evil of course!” Fred replied enthusiastically, not noticing Watari‘s mood.
/Child’s answer. Fool’s answer. Idealistic moron. I’m surrounded by them./
“…” Watari stared into the distance, not responding.
“And,” Fred’s voice was soft, “I hope to be a great man, like my grandfather. To be as strong as him, to bring honor to his name.” Fred had a gentler look on his face so different from that look of haughty pride he normally carried. It caught Watari off guard.
Nothing else was said after that. Yet, it was all that had been needed to send Watari down his current path. He had seen something different in a certain person and he wanted to find out what it was. He needed to find out, because of what it stirred inside him.
He began to pay attention to Fred Maximillian. He didn’t catch a glimpse of that gentler side again, but in time he came to a new appreciation Fred himself. Strong, courageous and generally straightforward. Insensitive, loud and reckless.
The way his eyes flashed, the determination in his face. It made Watari feel strange, compelled. He hadn’t felt that way since Highland, where all his ideals had been stripped away from him.
It became love, almost obsessive. He’d have strange dreams, feel heated and weak at the knees. He felt ravaging need that wouldn’t leave him alone. He detested how weak it made him. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t remain clamped down. It boiled inside making him more and more irrational. There were times when it turned into pure hatred or animal lust.
At times, he wanted just wanted to scream it out loud. But, he couldn’t. And he didn’t know if he wanted to approach Fred and say it to him. Not so simply, not just like that. He wanted to have Fred’s complete attention. Nothing awkward or suspicious. No possibility of being interrupted. But, Watari knew no other way to get what he wanted. Nothing he was comfortable with.
It was during one day of stressed pacing when he had come upon a solution. Belle had been standing in the hall that day, handing something to Emily.
“Why can’t you put it in the Suggestion Box? What if someone catches me with this girly thing?” Emily whined, clutching the piece of paper.
“Emily, I can’t. What if Hugo saw me…” The gadget girl was twiddling a gear between her fingers.
“Aww come on. It’s just asking him to meet you somewhere. He won’t realize it’s a love letter.” The fighter girl was casually looking at Belle who was now irate.
“Emily! Don’t say that out loud!”
The event, though insignificant kept coming up in Watari’s mind. It was a silly idea practiced by love sick girls. Yet, it seemed like a good idea. Watari soon found that he wasn’t talented at writing letters. He gave up until that little incident came up in his mind yet again.
He could arrange a meeting. The idea was immediately appealing as it fit his professional demeanor. He planned it out to the last detail, his logic flawless. It should have gone smoothly. But, Watari’s emotions had betrayed him and Fred’s anger, while not unexpected, had hurt more then Watari thought possible.
/Whoever said love hurts wasn’t far off./ Watari shuddered, scared that his feelings were doing more damage then some assassin’s blade ever could. He hated it. And it wasn’t like he could just kill Fred to make up for the social damage that was about to occur. As tempting as that was…
/It will be a long morning./
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To Be Continued…
Genres: Romance/Humor/Angst. More angst this chapter.
Pairing: Watari/Fred, initially one sided.
Warnings: Yaoi. OOCness. Odd, odd pairing.
Notes: Thanks to all those how reviewed, even the negative one. I don’t claim to be good except as a joke. As long as some people enjoy this, I’m happy.
Some Revisions have been made to this chapter.
Please Read and Review…
/_______________________________________________________________________
Chapter 2
Watari was cold and unable to move. He felt rooted, his whole body stiff.
/I’m a fool. An absolute fool. I shouldn’t have done that./
The more cautious part of his personality had warned him against trying to get the knight’s acknowledgement. He had ignored it and look where it had gotten him. He was humiliated and undone. Everyone was going to know by tomorrow. It would be unbearable and the worse thing was, Watari was trapped. Until the war was over, he would have to remain and work with these people.
/Maximillian wasn’t worth this. I should’ve known better./ It hurt demeaning himself like that and in front of someone he’d come to respect and adore. He hated the fact that he was remembering when it had started…
________________________________________________________________________
A month ago, had been a flu going around the castle, forcing a number of the soldiers to bed. Even Cecile had been forced to take time off. This left the castle without any night or day watch. The able bodied were forced to draw shifts to make up the slack.
And Watari just happened to draw the same shift as Fred. He had looked at the slip in his hand with disdain. /Why not Ayame? Why not Jacques or Toppo? Why me? Why did I have to be drawn tonight? With him of all people./ He didn’t know Fred well, but he knew enough to realize the man seriously annoyed him. More then other people in the castle. The knight was loud and full of it, always looking down on Watari as dishonorable.
That night he walked to his post, trying to tell himself that he could handle it, despite his misgivings.. After all, Maximillian couldn’t be a complete idiot.
“Watari, you are a minute late.” Fred said giving the ninja a glance.
/A minute! The clocks in that castle are slow. Besides, I had to sharpen my blades!/ He said nothing though, merely taking his post.
“I guess I can allow it to slide this once. But, remember that a minute can be the difference between life or death. We can’t allow lapses like this on the battle field.”
/I’ll show you a minute’s difference…wouldn’t take me a half second to slit your throat./ Nothing was done though…
As Watari thought about the incident, he cursed himself. /Why did he have to change? Why couldn’t he have just stayed annoying?/
“Watari, are you awake?” Fred looked at him quizzically. /Why would he ask that?/
“…” Watari nodded, saying nothing. Fred smiled apologetically.
“You are rather quiet. And since I know of some soldiers that sleep with their eyes opened…” /Eyes opened? Even I’m not that good. Does he think I’m inhuman?/
Everything was quiet again, then he felt a tenseness in the air. “Watari…why do you fight?”
/What kind of question is that?/
“Because it’s my contract.”
Fred looked at him in disbelief. “That’s all!? Surely you must have some reason? Honor, glory, something you want to protect.” The knight seemed confused by this rather boring and practical response.
/Honor. Glory. Something to protect. No, I don’t. Maybe at one time, but not now. After that day, never again./
“What about you?” The ninja was feeling strangely defensive at the moment.
“To fight evil of course!” Fred replied enthusiastically, not noticing Watari‘s mood.
/Child’s answer. Fool’s answer. Idealistic moron. I’m surrounded by them./
“…” Watari stared into the distance, not responding.
“And,” Fred’s voice was soft, “I hope to be a great man, like my grandfather. To be as strong as him, to bring honor to his name.” Fred had a gentler look on his face so different from that look of haughty pride he normally carried. It caught Watari off guard.
Nothing else was said after that. Yet, it was all that had been needed to send Watari down his current path. He had seen something different in a certain person and he wanted to find out what it was. He needed to find out, because of what it stirred inside him.
He began to pay attention to Fred Maximillian. He didn’t catch a glimpse of that gentler side again, but in time he came to a new appreciation Fred himself. Strong, courageous and generally straightforward. Insensitive, loud and reckless.
The way his eyes flashed, the determination in his face. It made Watari feel strange, compelled. He hadn’t felt that way since Highland, where all his ideals had been stripped away from him.
It became love, almost obsessive. He’d have strange dreams, feel heated and weak at the knees. He felt ravaging need that wouldn’t leave him alone. He detested how weak it made him. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t remain clamped down. It boiled inside making him more and more irrational. There were times when it turned into pure hatred or animal lust.
At times, he wanted just wanted to scream it out loud. But, he couldn’t. And he didn’t know if he wanted to approach Fred and say it to him. Not so simply, not just like that. He wanted to have Fred’s complete attention. Nothing awkward or suspicious. No possibility of being interrupted. But, Watari knew no other way to get what he wanted. Nothing he was comfortable with.
It was during one day of stressed pacing when he had come upon a solution. Belle had been standing in the hall that day, handing something to Emily.
“Why can’t you put it in the Suggestion Box? What if someone catches me with this girly thing?” Emily whined, clutching the piece of paper.
“Emily, I can’t. What if Hugo saw me…” The gadget girl was twiddling a gear between her fingers.
“Aww come on. It’s just asking him to meet you somewhere. He won’t realize it’s a love letter.” The fighter girl was casually looking at Belle who was now irate.
“Emily! Don’t say that out loud!”
The event, though insignificant kept coming up in Watari’s mind. It was a silly idea practiced by love sick girls. Yet, it seemed like a good idea. Watari soon found that he wasn’t talented at writing letters. He gave up until that little incident came up in his mind yet again.
He could arrange a meeting. The idea was immediately appealing as it fit his professional demeanor. He planned it out to the last detail, his logic flawless. It should have gone smoothly. But, Watari’s emotions had betrayed him and Fred’s anger, while not unexpected, had hurt more then Watari thought possible.
/Whoever said love hurts wasn’t far off./ Watari shuddered, scared that his feelings were doing more damage then some assassin’s blade ever could. He hated it. And it wasn’t like he could just kill Fred to make up for the social damage that was about to occur. As tempting as that was…
/It will be a long morning./
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To Be Continued…