Suikoden Fan Fiction ❯ My Lady ❯ Misery and Sorrow ( Chapter 3 )

Part 3: Misery and Faith

          "She's asleep." Roland murmured softly as he and the others stood vigil over Chris' sleeping form as she slept in the bed. His narrow eyes were surprisingly soft as he watched his Captain tear streaks still upon her pale face.

          "It's for the best. She's gone through a lot as of late and she needs to find sanctuary somewhere. Even if it is in her dreams." Salome shook his head as his somber eyes watched the slow rising and falling of her chest under the fine blankets that covered her. "Percival's leaving came as a great shock to her even more so than us."

          "I know it was a shock, but why in Sadie's name did she act like that? I mean I know it would depress her as a considerable blow, it would look a like a failure to her but this? I've never seen her like this. It was like the strong woman we knew cracked into a child." Leo queried as he faced the older of the two blonde knights his face melancholy. He shifted softly his armor clinking softly as he moved further away as not to disturb her.

          Salome bowed his head in thought his eyes closing tight as he drew himself into his thoughts. "All her life she has been burdened by the loss of her parents, becoming a knight at such a young age and becoming a leader of the Zexen Knights. She forced herself to become cold and distant to deal with the pain and the charge of her status. She was forced to become strong and to take responsibility so she made that cold shield to protect her self. But someone took a hold of her heart. Try to imagine how you would feel if Lady Chris had left us. No not that's not right, but still…"

          "What do you mean, Salome?" Leo arched a thick eyebrow at him as he struggled to comprehend what Salome had said. He took a step closer to him as Salome as he looked up to him something flickering in his eyes.

          "She lost a part of her self, a part of her world. It's my guess that when he left she finally saw clearly, she at last saw him. She saw that she needed him to save herself from becoming like a cold stone statue. You never know how much something means to you until it is gone. How true that is…" He explained his eyes searching for something far away beyond normal sight perhaps something that he himself had not seen before. An epiphany dawned upon him that moment and it further created solemn lines in his mature face.

          "What? Do you mean that Lady Chris…? She is…" Leo's mouth dropped in surprise as it the full meaning of Salome's words dawned upon him. The knight's mind wheeled at the thought of what Salome had meant. It couldn't be…but yet Chris still was a woman. Was she actually…?

          "No…NO…it can't be…no…NO!" Borus cried out vehemently shaking his head as if to banish the thoughts that assailed him. He stood there breathing heavily after saying his first words since Chris had slapped him grasping his head for dear life. No he couldn't believe that Lady Chris was…No he couldn't believe that she would choose Percival over him. She couldn't be…Why would she? What did Percival had that he didn't? His head spun and he felt his world turn out of control as he fumbled to grasp the reason why, but he couldn't take it. "No it…it's not fair…No…why him?" quickly Borus turned and stumbled out of the room not wanting to hear another word. Another blow to his already aching heart being too much for the blonde man, now he needed to deal with it in his own way.

          "Not now, why does this all have to happen now?" Leo pleaded as he looked past the ceiling as if talking to the Goddess directly, pleading for her to have mercy upon them. He closed his eyes and shook his head dropping it to his chest with the weight of the past day.

          "It seems as if Lady Chris' world isn't the only one falling apart. I do wonder why this is happening? Shall we do something about it?" Roland looked towards Salome who stood there holding his head as if to stop the madness around him. The elven knight seemed to be the only one holding up.

          He sighed as he put a hand on the tall elf's shoulder giving him a shake of his head. "No, Roland, I do believe that this is something that should she should work this out on her own. This is an affair of her heart she should figure this out for herself."

~~*~~

     &nb sp;    Chris awoke to find herself alone in her bedchamber. Apparently Louis had gone off to go ask the others about what had happened earlier after she had fallen asleep. It was best he knew from them, he would find out anyway. She breathed deeply as she sat up and swung her legs over the side of her bed her booted feet echoing softly in the silence. She dug the heels of her hands into her eyes pressing back the tears that threatened to overcome her. She had just awakened from her dreams or rather her memories.

          Upon the minute she had fallen asleep she began to dream of him…of Percival. It was like watching one of Nadir's plays, but only she was the star and the audience all at once. Chris saw him teasing her, laughing, trying to comfort her and smiling so brilliantly that even the sun was jealous. Never did she realize just how handsome he was with those dark eyes and that careless hair swept up like the wind had ran it's hand through it. She finally noticed him and everything he meant to her, but now he was gone.

          Chris felt her eyes burn beneath her hands and she let her head fall forward. Goddess she never knew how much he meant to her. He was always there for her, supporting her through everything that happened in her life. She never realized he was there by her side and how he felt. Then something dawned upon her, a thought that never considered. She needed him, his laugh, his face, all of him, but she had let him go. She had given him up.

          Quickly she stood up and strode to her wardrobe. She had never given up on anything before nor would she now. Chris threw open the ornate doors to the wardrobe and began to reach for her clothes. No she wouldn't let him go and let him walk out of her life forever. She would go and retrieve the missing part of her life, of herself. She stopped herself short as she reached for her armor. She retracted her hand and shook her head. No wearing her armor would bring unwanted attention to herself. She grabbed her civilian clothes.

          After getting dressed she turned around to assess her image in the mirror. She wore the same blue tights, green tunic, white shirt and leather boots she had when she stole out with Nash all those months ago. Chris smiled at her reflection content with her appearance. She grabbed her trusty sword and securing it to her belt she stealthily left her room. Silently she crept down the stairs and crept to the empty stables. It wouldn't be good for anyone to know about what she was going to do. If the Council found out she was doing this it would be very bad for her she might even lose her job but none of that mattered to her. No only one thing one mattered to her now.

She grabbed her horse and led him to the western gate. As she mounted her proud white stallion she gave a small smile as she thought of what she was doing and the choices she was making. There on her horse she would definitely draw attention to herself for her armor would give her away as a knight and a hero of Zexen. Upon her galloping steed Chris swiftly left Brass Castle and headed to Iksay flying like lightening on the wind. No without her armor she was a Zexen knight or a hero she was just herself. She was going to go get Percival not as Lady Chris the Zexen hero, but as Chris Lightfellow the heart broken woman.