Super GALS Fan Fiction ❯ Silence for Naught ❯ The Middle Ground ( Chapter 7 )

AN: Wow, yeah, it's been awhile. Anywhoo…

 

Silence for Naught

 

Chapter Seven: The Middle Ground

 

After Yumiko darted out the door, Aya stood on Rei's stoop hesitantly for a long pause, desperately searching his eyes for an answer.

 

“Otohata-kun,” she whispered, still waiting for his reply. Rei could see in Aya's eyes that she was troubled by Yumiko-san's presence. She was probably already making outlandish assumptions in her head. Rei sighed.

 

“Aya, there are things we need to talk about,” Rei said as gently as he could. Aya nodded and followed him as he motioned her into the house.

 

The air was colder and dank as Aya walked inside, much different than the vibrant energy that Ran had brought with her. Rei pursed his lips, and he was annoyed with himself for noticing it.

 

“Otohata-kun,” Aya said with a shaky voice. It was obvious she was trying to mask the awkward air with forced felicity. “What is the surprise you wanted to tell me about?”

 

“Aya-chan, the woman who just left was Rinjou Yumiko-san, the pop idol. I'm working for her now,” Rei said bluntly, getting that lingering question out of the way.

 

“Oh,” Aya answered softly. Then her eyes widened, and his information dawned on her. “Oh! So you're mixing music for her?” Rei nodded. “That's wonderful. Is that your surprise?”

 

Rei smiled genuinely. Despite Aya's usual somber nature, when she was happy her spirits really lifted him. He frowned inwardly that he could not completely enjoy it. He liked Aya as a friend, but…

 

“Well, that's part of it,” Rei answered, his wry smile evoking mystery. “The biggest news is, and I don't know if you're going to be happy about it, but I'm touring with her this summer after I finish working on her EP and music videos.” Aya stared at him with a dead-panned expression. “She'll be touring in some of the best clubs in California.”

 

Rei heard Aya gasp, and she brought her hands up to her mouth in shock. She certainly hadn't expected such news.

 

“So you're leaving after graduation? Just for the summer?” Aya was already upset.

 

Rei sighed heavily again, and he looked away from her and gazed out the window. “Aya, I've decided to enroll in UCLA instead of Tokyo University. After my tour with Yumiko-san, I will stay in America and apply for my student Visa.”

 

Aya stared at him in shock, drowning in silence. Rei tried to gauge her reaction, but she was immobile like a statue.

 

“Oh…I see.” Aya's voice filled with emotion again. Rei predicted that the waterworks were on their way. “So you're not going to the school where I'm going at all?”

 

`I knew she gave up that scholarship for me and not herself,' Rei thought, inwardly annoyed with his realization. Aya's expression only confirmed she only intended to go to his college to be closer to him. `What a waste,' he thought. She had a free ride to a college and everything. He frowned.

 

“Aya, I'm sorry. I know you're upset about me not going to school with you.” Aya watched him as he continued, and Rei tried to maintain his composure. He needed to convince her that he was doing this for himself, for his career, and he wasn't going to stand around and settle for her or try to run away from his feelings of Ran. He let out a small laugh. “This is really a huge step, and I can't give up this opportunity.”

 

“So… this is what you truly want?” Aya asked, and she was still shocked, struggling with her words.

 

“Yes, I've wanted this my whole life. I've wanted nothing more than to make music and be surrounded by it. Come here.” He took her arm and led her down to his music room. Aya felt jarred, and she gasped in surprise at the feel of his touch. Quickly, he turned on the lights of his musical refuge in the basement, and Aya stared in wonder at the music equipment and CDs stacked everywhere.

 

“Rei! This is…” She turned to him and gave him an earnest smile. “This is what you've been doing. All those times I thought you were being anti-social, you were just working on your art.”

 

“Well, I technically was being anti-social,” Rei joked, and Aya covered her mouth while she laughed. Rei suddenly felt more at ease at the sight of her relaxing. He watched her turn around, and she immediately saw the stack of CDs and noticed her name.

 

Hesitantly, she picked up one of her CDs, and she turned to him with inquiring eyes.

 

“May I?” Aya asked. Rei leaned back and crossed his arms, nodding with permission.

 

Aya stuck the CD into his large stereo, and as soon as she pressed play, the basement was drowned in Opera notes and light, sorrowful harmonics. She stared into the space as the melody played, and Rei watched her closely as she absorbed the music. Her eyes turned sad, but she had a small smile on her lips.

 

“So this is what you think of me? You use the music to paint a picture of me.” She turned to him with that sad smile. “Am I correct?”

 

Rei swallowed uncomfortably, and there was a bittersweet tone to Aya's question.

 

“All of the CDs are like that Aya. All of them are inspired through music on my feelings about each one of you.”

 

Aya traced a finger over the stack of CDs, reading the names that appeared on the side labels. Her smile disappeared when she spotted three CDs of Ran compared to her two. Obviously, she longed to listen to what Rei felt about Ran, but Rei wondered if she was brave enough to ask.

 

“Rei, I came here to tell you something too,” Aya said, her voice starting low and slowly rising with courage. She turned to Rei and looked into his eyes, staring straight into his soul. She clenched her jaw, and he knew Aya was displaying tremendous effort just to confront him.

 

“I can't say anything to express how much I want you to stay here and go to school in Japan, and frankly, it's neither my decision nor my right to stop you from your dreams. They're beautiful dreams, and I would be a heartless person to stand in the way of them.” She was crying now, tears flowing down her face with ease. Her body was so used to crying it seemed so natural and expected. She sniffled and sobbed weakly, “But I want to say that I love you from the bottom of my heart, and after saying that, I want to know where we stand. I know about your feelings for Ran, and I know I can never change them. Just please, say how you truly feel about me.” She paused and her lip quavered in desperation. Rei felt like a monster a thousand times over when Aya cried like that. There was no way he could handle such crying in his life any longer.

 

“Please, we need to settle this and make things straight. Where do we stand? Where do I stand in your heart, Rei? Do I even have a chance?”

 

Rei licked his lips, and he uncrossed his arms, becoming unguarded to her. Aya wanted answers, and she was brave enough to ask for them. And he couldn't agree more that they should settle things. Truthfully, Rei was unsure if Aya was the right girl for him, and any uncertainty after this long was probably a good sign that she wasn't.

 

“Aya,” Rei said, and he sighed in exasperation. There was no easy way to reject someone, especially someone as sweet and wonderful as Aya. Things just weren't working, and he had no right to hurt her any longer. “I don't want to make you cry anymore. I don't want any more uncertainty or mixed signals. I want to be clear with you so you don't have to worry anymore.”

 

Aya nodded, and her hands shook nervously as if she already knew what he was going to say.

 

“My feelings for Ran won't change, not for awhile. They are too deep.” He turned away from her dejected expression and smiled weakly, staring at a large group of speakers. “I tried to like you that deeply Aya; I tried. And you believed in my feelings with good faith. I'm sorry to say there was nothing faithful about my feelings.”

 

This time, he turned to her and locked with her gaze. “You want honesty, and I'll give it to you. Honestly, Aya, I went out with you because of Ran's urging. You really liked me, and it was obvious, and Ran only wanted to see her friend happy.” Aya's face turned paler, and her hands covered her mouth, holding back the cries. “And I wanted to see Ran happy.”

 

“Then, everything you did for me… you did for Ran?” Aya asked weakly. Her legs wobbled, and Rei wondered if she'd faint or dash for the door.

 

“Subconsciously, yes, but it doesn't mean I didn't enjoy your friendship and the time we spent together.” He looked away, feeling dirty that he had hurt Aya so much. “It just didn't work out.”

 

Aya inhaled an awkward draught of breath, and spoke as she exhaled. “So… what do we do? Does this mean we're… over?”

 

Rei gave her a pitying look, a look she clearly disliked by the clench of her jaw. “Aya, you know we are.”

 

Aya swallowed uncomfortably and nodded her head again. Her face was wet from constant tears. She looked away from his rueful gaze and fiddled with her hands. She moved toward the stairs of the basement.

 

“So it's really over…”

 

“Aya, I had to be honest with you… I couldn't keep - We couldn't keep going like this. It wasn't fair to you.”

 

“You're right of course,” she replied in a raspy voice. And she was silent for a moment, and Rei let her have a moment of peace.

 

“Well, I should go. I've overstayed my welcome, Otohata-kun.”

 

“Aya…” Rei tried to sooth, but Aya's emotions were already far gone. She loved him so much and so unconditionally, and now she was heartbroken. He'd hurt her more than he could understand. He wished he could take the pain away and experience it himself. But he couldn't. He just couldn't feel that deeply. He sighed. “Let me walk you to the door.”

 

She nodded, and slowly they climbed the stairs. He watched her from behind, and he felt sick to his stomach for what he had done to her.

 

`I had to. To keep seeing her when I couldn't settle was only causing her pain and wasting her time. If she's going to hurt now, at least she knows it won't last long,' he mused, and he looked up and they were standing at the front doorway.

 

Aya averted her eyes from him, but tried to put on a strong yet polite smile.

 

“Otohata-kun, I know we have mutual friends.” Aya spoke just above a whisper. “But I'm going to need some time away from you. I hope you understand.”

 

“I do. You needn't worry about that. I'll be busy with the video shoot.” Aya nodded, and suddenly, something dawned on him. “There's something else you should know, Aya, and I'd rather you hear it from me than someone else.”

 

Aya looked up momentarily, her eyes dull and somber. Obviously, what he was going to say couldn't possibly affect her any worse than breaking up.

 

“Yumiko recruited Ran to be in her Para-Para video as a dancer.” Rei saw Aya's eyes well up again. “We're going to be working together for a couple of weeks.”

 

Aya nodded slowly and bit her lip. “I see.” She turned slowly around, and she stepped lightly down his stairs and out his front gate. Rei watched her, feeling ten times worse as he watched her take one step after another.

 

When Aya stopped at the front gate, Rei was mildly surprised when she turned around. She met his eyes with her lifeless gaze, and her brow furrowed slightly in disdain.

 

“Even if you have these deep feelings for Ran, Rei, it's not going to matter.” Rei gapped slightly at her boldness. Aya was truly hurt, and this was her way of stinging him back. She lifted her nose to him and said resolutely, “Ran told me she's not interested in you like that, and she would never betray her friends. So… I'm sorry for you're feelings because things aren't going to change.”

 

Aya stared at him hard, her jaw quivering from both anxiety and anger. Rei nodded; his lips thin and emotion devoid from his face.

 

“I understand,” he responded, and Aya walked away.

 

Yet the darkness in his eyes proved Aya's words had indeed affected him.

 

TBC…