Super Smash Brothers Fan Fiction ❯ Why Are We Here? ❯ Head BNT In Charge ( Chapter 5 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: tallestpurplewashere 
Non Anime: Super Smash Brothers Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 05.06.2008 | Pages: 3 | Words: 1.4K | Visits: 337 | Status: Completed
Non Anime: Super Smash Brothers Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 05.06.2008 | Pages: 3 | Words: 1.4K | Visits: 337 | Status: Completed
Just sitting here with my third cup of coffee. Nothing like a good pot coffee to help you write.
This chapter is mostly just dialogue, I'll try to add more description in the future.
Nothing's really mine but the fic.
--
"Hooly shit! Falco, slow the fuck down!!" Fox held on to the Warthog's top middle brace and the dashboard for dear life, nearly flying off for the tenth time when Falco drove faster than necessary over yet another hill. The heavy looking built-on armour did nothing to weigh the Warhog down, making it much easier to go higher in the air, unfortunately for Fox.
"Woo-hoo!" Falco yelled, body jerking forward as the Warhog landed on the solid ground with a loud WHUMP and a crash. "Ow! Did you see that?! I think that's a new record! Score one for the reds!!"
"Who the fuck cares?! Lemme off!!"
Falco merely replied with a slam to the peddle.
--
"What a fuckin' gyp." Ike grumbled.
"Haha! Two down! Man, you really suck at this game Ike." Pit laughed.
"Checkmate! I win!"
"Rookie, I told you. You can't just say 'checkmate' whenever it's your turn. And you actually have to make a move." Ike sighed.
"Oh." a gauntlet-covered hand reached for the makeshift checkerboard (which was actually drawn into the dirt with a stick, which was odd, considering there were no trees around) grabbing one of the rocks that was already on there and moved it to a different spot, "Checkmate! I win!"
"Hey! That one was mine!" Pit took the rock and placed it back to where it was before, "Link, yours are the dirt clumps, mine are the gray rocks, Ike's are the black ones."
"But I can't tell where I put mine."
"That's because you break them all."
"Here, use this." Ike picked up a good-sized lump of dirt that lay right beside him and handed it over to Link, who handled it like an egg.
"Where should I put this?"
"Anywhere you want. I don't care."
Before the lump could even touch the ground, it crumbled into tiny little pieces in Link's hand, "Oops, I did that wrong! Can we start over?"
Ike and Pit sighed.
"Wait a second," Ike stood from his crouching position and turned around, "Did you hear that?"
"Hear what?" Pit got up too.
"It sounded like a loud whump and a crash."
"I..... didn't hear anything." Link followed last.
"I'm telling you! It sounded like something crashed. I think it was in the field."
"Really? That's odd, I thought it'd be from behind our base, where the huge rock wall is, y'know, where everything happens."
"Pit, shut up. Come on, let's go check it out."
"What?? Aw, but I was winning."
"My ass. All we were doing was move around rocks on the dirt. There's no possible way to play three-way checkers."
"Yeah, but I was doing it better than everyone else."
"Oh, oh, Ike! Can I come too??" Link asked excitedly.
Pit and Ike looked at each other, then back at him.
"No, rookie. I've got a special assignment for you."
"What is it?"
"You stay here....... and guard this tank."
Link looked at the tank and blinked, "But I don't think the tank is going anywh--"
"Just do it Link." Ike commanded.
"Uh, .....ok."
"Good."
Ike and Pit ran up the ramp that led to the top of the base, Pit turned his head to him, "Don't you think he's a little dumb to be doing that?" he asked between themselves.
"Pfft. What's the possibility of a red getting by without us seeing him?"
-
"Man, all this running is getting me tired." Marth slowed down to a walk as he strolled to the back of the base, walking up to the man that was staring forward and was completely unaware of him.
He cleared his throat, "Um, excuse me?"
The man yelled out in surprise, nearly dropping his gun. "Who're you?"
"I'm the new recruit."
Link blinked, "Huh? But I thought I was the new recruit."
Marth frowned, "Are you serious? But Red Command told me to come here right away, aw man, what a rip."
"Uh, why would the Red Command tell you that?"
"Because this is the red base, duh."
Link's eyes widened, "Really?"
"Um, yeah. Where've you been? The other base is for the Other Guys, I was just there."
"Other guys?"
"This isn't Red versus Blue, it's Red versus the Other guys."
Link gasped, "Nobody ever told me that!"
"Well, it's true." Marth looked behind Link, eyeing the tank. "Is that ours? She's a beauty."
"Huh?" Link looked confused, then looked behind him, "Oh. Yeah. That's ours alright. I'm not really sure if it's a girl though. Girls always hate me, but not you."
"What do you mean by tha--?" Marth shook his head, "Nevermind. Mind if I take her for a spin? I'm a certified driver." he smiled.
Link looked mildly surprised, cheeks turning a very light pink, "G-go ahead."
"Cool!" Marth climbed on the tank, opening the hatch and getting inside.
"Hello, and thank you for activating the M808 Main battle tank, you may call me Zelda..."
-
Ike was looking through the sniper rifle scope, following the red's movements, "Oh man. that looks like fun."
"What are they doing?" Pit asked as another WHUMP and a scream from the distance resonated throughout the canyon.
"Joy riding by the looks of it."
"..."
"..."
"Why don't we do that with the tank?" suggested Pit.
"Holy shit, yeah!" even Ike sounded a little excited at that idea. "I call shotgun!" He started heading down the ramp, only to be blocked by Link when he tried to get up.
"Oh, hey Ike."
"Link? I thought you were supposed to be guarding the tank!"
"That's what I came here to talk to you about..."
"Hey, is that the tank driving away?" Pit asked, looking out at the field.
"The new recruit came by, and took the tank."
"..................What?!?!"
-
"Holy shit! Is that a tank?!"
Falco slammed on the brakes, making Fox jerk forward and hit his head on the windshield, "OW!"
Falco stood up from the drivers seat, looking through the smaller scope on his rifle. He focused on the small slits that were on the tank's hatch, red catching his eye, "Is that........?" he zoomed in 10x.
The orange private sat back down in the drivers seat, putting his gun away, "Fox, get in the gunner position, now."
-
I can only wish I was a comedic genius.
This chapter is mostly just dialogue, I'll try to add more description in the future.
Nothing's really mine but the fic.
--
"Hooly shit! Falco, slow the fuck down!!" Fox held on to the Warthog's top middle brace and the dashboard for dear life, nearly flying off for the tenth time when Falco drove faster than necessary over yet another hill. The heavy looking built-on armour did nothing to weigh the Warhog down, making it much easier to go higher in the air, unfortunately for Fox.
"Woo-hoo!" Falco yelled, body jerking forward as the Warhog landed on the solid ground with a loud WHUMP and a crash. "Ow! Did you see that?! I think that's a new record! Score one for the reds!!"
"Who the fuck cares?! Lemme off!!"
Falco merely replied with a slam to the peddle.
--
"What a fuckin' gyp." Ike grumbled.
"Haha! Two down! Man, you really suck at this game Ike." Pit laughed.
"Checkmate! I win!"
"Rookie, I told you. You can't just say 'checkmate' whenever it's your turn. And you actually have to make a move." Ike sighed.
"Oh." a gauntlet-covered hand reached for the makeshift checkerboard (which was actually drawn into the dirt with a stick, which was odd, considering there were no trees around) grabbing one of the rocks that was already on there and moved it to a different spot, "Checkmate! I win!"
"Hey! That one was mine!" Pit took the rock and placed it back to where it was before, "Link, yours are the dirt clumps, mine are the gray rocks, Ike's are the black ones."
"But I can't tell where I put mine."
"That's because you break them all."
"Here, use this." Ike picked up a good-sized lump of dirt that lay right beside him and handed it over to Link, who handled it like an egg.
"Where should I put this?"
"Anywhere you want. I don't care."
Before the lump could even touch the ground, it crumbled into tiny little pieces in Link's hand, "Oops, I did that wrong! Can we start over?"
Ike and Pit sighed.
"Wait a second," Ike stood from his crouching position and turned around, "Did you hear that?"
"Hear what?" Pit got up too.
"It sounded like a loud whump and a crash."
"I..... didn't hear anything." Link followed last.
"I'm telling you! It sounded like something crashed. I think it was in the field."
"Really? That's odd, I thought it'd be from behind our base, where the huge rock wall is, y'know, where everything happens."
"Pit, shut up. Come on, let's go check it out."
"What?? Aw, but I was winning."
"My ass. All we were doing was move around rocks on the dirt. There's no possible way to play three-way checkers."
"Yeah, but I was doing it better than everyone else."
"Oh, oh, Ike! Can I come too??" Link asked excitedly.
Pit and Ike looked at each other, then back at him.
"No, rookie. I've got a special assignment for you."
"What is it?"
"You stay here....... and guard this tank."
Link looked at the tank and blinked, "But I don't think the tank is going anywh--"
"Just do it Link." Ike commanded.
"Uh, .....ok."
"Good."
Ike and Pit ran up the ramp that led to the top of the base, Pit turned his head to him, "Don't you think he's a little dumb to be doing that?" he asked between themselves.
"Pfft. What's the possibility of a red getting by without us seeing him?"
-
"Man, all this running is getting me tired." Marth slowed down to a walk as he strolled to the back of the base, walking up to the man that was staring forward and was completely unaware of him.
He cleared his throat, "Um, excuse me?"
The man yelled out in surprise, nearly dropping his gun. "Who're you?"
"I'm the new recruit."
Link blinked, "Huh? But I thought I was the new recruit."
Marth frowned, "Are you serious? But Red Command told me to come here right away, aw man, what a rip."
"Uh, why would the Red Command tell you that?"
"Because this is the red base, duh."
Link's eyes widened, "Really?"
"Um, yeah. Where've you been? The other base is for the Other Guys, I was just there."
"Other guys?"
"This isn't Red versus Blue, it's Red versus the Other guys."
Link gasped, "Nobody ever told me that!"
"Well, it's true." Marth looked behind Link, eyeing the tank. "Is that ours? She's a beauty."
"Huh?" Link looked confused, then looked behind him, "Oh. Yeah. That's ours alright. I'm not really sure if it's a girl though. Girls always hate me, but not you."
"What do you mean by tha--?" Marth shook his head, "Nevermind. Mind if I take her for a spin? I'm a certified driver." he smiled.
Link looked mildly surprised, cheeks turning a very light pink, "G-go ahead."
"Cool!" Marth climbed on the tank, opening the hatch and getting inside.
"Hello, and thank you for activating the M808 Main battle tank, you may call me Zelda..."
-
Ike was looking through the sniper rifle scope, following the red's movements, "Oh man. that looks like fun."
"What are they doing?" Pit asked as another WHUMP and a scream from the distance resonated throughout the canyon.
"Joy riding by the looks of it."
"..."
"..."
"Why don't we do that with the tank?" suggested Pit.
"Holy shit, yeah!" even Ike sounded a little excited at that idea. "I call shotgun!" He started heading down the ramp, only to be blocked by Link when he tried to get up.
"Oh, hey Ike."
"Link? I thought you were supposed to be guarding the tank!"
"That's what I came here to talk to you about..."
"Hey, is that the tank driving away?" Pit asked, looking out at the field.
"The new recruit came by, and took the tank."
"..................What?!?!"
-
"Holy shit! Is that a tank?!"
Falco slammed on the brakes, making Fox jerk forward and hit his head on the windshield, "OW!"
Falco stood up from the drivers seat, looking through the smaller scope on his rifle. He focused on the small slits that were on the tank's hatch, red catching his eye, "Is that........?" he zoomed in 10x.
The orange private sat back down in the drivers seat, putting his gun away, "Fox, get in the gunner position, now."
-
I can only wish I was a comedic genius.