Supernatural Fan Fiction ❯ Hell Can Be Home Too ❯ Chapter 10

Disclaimer: Not mine.

 

Chapter 10

 

They'd dropped the kids off hours ago and still Sam hadn't spoke, just stared off into space, the occasional tear slipping down his face, and Dean was getting scared. They had gone to a motel, Bobby wanting to sleep and Dean had gotten them a room several doors down from the hunter. And still Sam was silent, sitting on the edge of the king sized bed and staring vacantly out the window.

 

“Sammy?” Dean called softly, sitting behind him and wrapping his arms around Sam's waist ever so gently because at that moment he's actually afraid his brother may break. Sam remained tense and still for a few seconds before going limp in his arms and Dean fought the panic as he was forced to take Sam's full weight. He shifted his grip so he was holding Sam better and then managed to move back on the bed, laying Sam down and then curling around him.

“Sam?” He called again, more urgently and hazel eyes slowly focused on him. Dean's eyes went wide as Sam suddenly clung to him but he held Sam gently, whispering softly to him as Sam sobbed into Dean's shirt.

“It's okay Sammy, I'm here, I've got you.” He breathed into Sam's ear as his baby brother, the Boy King of Hell, cried in a way he hadn't since they'd been human.

“Sammy?” He asked once the sobs began to quiet and Sam tried to move away but Dean didn't let him. If Sam really wanted out there was no way Dean could stop him.

“Come on Sam, talk to me kiddo.” He whispered words he hadn't spoken since he'd died and Sam slowly looked at him, eyes red from crying.

“Hey Sam, come on, what's wrong?” Dean asked again and Sam looked away.

 

“How can you still call me Sammy?” Sam whispered softly and Dean frowned.

 

“Because that's who you are, my Sammy, no matter what.” He answered instantly, suddenly realising how much what had happened had affected Sam.

“You've changed Sam, we both have, and maybe some of it's not for the better but you're still you, still Sam.” Dean told him firmly, refusing to let Sam do that to himself. Yes, it was a relief that Sam realised how much he'd changed, it showed that Sam hadn't lost himself to his power but it hurt Dean to see Sam hurting.

 

“I...it's like I don't care anymore, about anyone other than you and Bobby. Okay Cas is growing on me and even if he wasn't I'd help him because of what he did for you. And then that kid...and it just hit me. I'm scared Dean, I don't want to lose myself. What if I hurt you or Bobby or anyone?” Sam asked and Dean could see that for the first time in years Sam was truly scared.

 

“I know you won't Sammy, because I'll always be here to pull you back.” Dean promised and soon Sam drifted into an exhausted sleep. Dean met curious blue eyes before the angel inclined his head and vanished and Dean knew Sam wouldn't have any nightmares tonight.

 

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Bobby looked up as Sam wondered over to him, head down.

 

“Morning Sam.” He called and Sam slowly looked up, chewing on his lip absently.

“Sam?” Bobby called hesitantly and Sam slowly moved closer before shocking Bobby by hugging him. He'd noticed that Sam wasn't as touchy feely with anyone but Dean since they'd come back. Feeling Sam flinch slightly Bobby brought his arms up and returned to the hug.

 

“Morning Bobby.”

 

“You doing okay kid?” Bobby asked, confused by Sam's behaviour.

 

“I'm sorry Bobby. I know I've scared you a few times, I didn't mean to. I'd never hurt you.” Sam whispered sadly and Bobby looked him over. Something had changed, Sam's eyes were....softer than they had been since returning from hell.

 

“Nothing to be sorry for, I know you won't hurt me.” Bobby told him and Sam finally smiled slightly.

“Sam.......what happens when all this is over? If we win?” Bobby asked and Sam shrugged.

 

“Dean and I have to go back but we won't have to stay all the time. We can come visit, give you a hand on hunts, stuff like that. We're not going to vanish on you.” Sam answered softly and Bobby nodded, relieved that if they won he wouldn't wake up one morning to find he'd lost his boys, again.

 

“So what brought this on?” Bobby pushed and Sam looked away.

“Sam?” He pushed and Sam sighed.

 

“Don't know....I'm scared Bobby. Scared I'm losing myself.”

 

“What does Dean say about that?” Bobby asked, knowing Dean would have talked to Sam when they'd gotten their room last night.

 

“That he'll always be here to pull me back.” Sam whispered and Bobby grinned.

 

“Then you'll be fine Sam.” Bobby told him.

 

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“So how many seals are we down?” Dean asked as they sat around Bobby's living room.

 

“Fifteen.” Castiel answered.

 

“Could be worse. We any closer to finding a way to track Ruby?” Bobby asked and Sam shook his head.

 

“She seems to know we're on to her so she's using everything to hide. Unless she's there for one of the seas and we get there in time....” Sam trailed off.

 

“So we're still screwed.” Dean grumbled and then smiled when Sam squeezed his hand.

 

“Could be worse, we could be down sixty-five seals.” Sam pointed out and Dean elbowed him.

 

TBC...

Very short I know but I've been sick.