Teen Titans Fan Fiction ❯ Falling ❯ Healing ( Chapter 5 )
Chapter 5: Healing By Lelila
Starfire dropped Cyborg at the door of the tower and rushed inside. She tried to fly, but she was too afraid. How she had gotten Cyborg and herself back here she wasn’t sure. She banged into the wall and stumbled down the stairs to the medical suite they kept for their unique needs.
“Robin!” she cried, rounding the corner. “I am so sorry. It is all my fault….” She skidded to a halt at the foot of the suite’s medical cot, seeing Robin lying on it unconscious, hooked up to several monitors. A cold stone dropped into her stomach. “Robin!” she screamed.
Raven was suddenly at her side, gripping her arm. “He’s alright, Starfire. He took a shock to his nervous system. I’ve healed anything that might have become permanent, and he’ll be fine after some rest.”
Starfire wrenched herself out of Raven’s grasp. “He is not fine. I have harmed him.” She rushed to Robin’s side, sobbing and stroking his cheek as if her mere touch could cure him. “I have never hurt any of my friends before.”
“It was an accident, Star,” Cyborg’s baritone sounded from the doorway.
“No!” Starfire slammed her hands against the rail of the cot. “I was not paying attention. I was too preoccupied…” She gripped the rail, sobs racking her body. He could not be hurt. She could not have hurt him. How could this have happened? Raven floated up behind her and put a hand on her shoulder to steady her.
And then she was on her feet, babbling in Tameranian and gesticulating wildly between herself and Robin. Raven grabbed and shook her. “Starfire, this isn’t helping him, you’ll just make yourself sick. Starfire!” But Starfire’s babbling continued, growing louder and more frenzied.
“Pateilding Terak Nor!” Raven’s hands glowed black around Starfire’s arms and the alien went limp.
“Dude! What’d you do to her?” Beast Boy was peeking around Cyborg in the doorway.
“It’s a sleeping spell. She’ll be out cold for at least 12 hours. Hopefully she’ll be able to speak English again when she wakes up. Help me get her onto the other cot; I want to monitor her. I’ve never actually used that spell before”
Cyborg picked Starfire up and settled her onto the suite’s other medical bed. Raven moved to hook her up to the vitals’ monitor.
“You mean you can put any of us to sleep whenever you want?” Beast Boy asked Raven.
“I can make you shut up whenever I want to, too,” Raven replied, adjusting one of the dials.
Beast Boy pulled at his collar. “Uh…maybe I’ll go pick up Robin’s R-Cycle.”
--
Robin struggled to open his eyes. He felt as though he didn’t have the strength to even lift his eyelids. His whole body ached. The only time he remembered feeling even remotely like this was the first week he’d started training with Batman. But this was ten times worse; his chest ached when he breathed.
He managed to drag to his eyes open and quickly shut them again as the light pierced into his brain. He heaved a deep breath and turned his head to the side, pain punctuating every millimeter he moved. A faint groan escaped his lips as he opened his eyes again.
As his vision focused, he was able to make out Starfire lying on one of the medical suite’s two monitored beds. Starfire had been hurt? He didn’t remember. The last thing he remembered was fighting that creature in the rain. Had he been hit by lightning? That might explain how he felt. Had the same thing happened to Starfire?
“Starfire?” he managed to croak. “Starfire?” She didn’t move. Suddenly, a deathly fear gripped him. Just how badly was she hurt? He had to know; he had to help, somehow…
Summoning a strength from deep within him, Robin rolled to his side and sat up. His body seemed to move without any direction from him. Even though his muscles cried out in agony, he kept moving. He disconnected any wires that held him back. He had to get to Starfire, had to make sure she was all right.
He finally reached her, trailing his fingertips down her cheek. He looked at her monitors; everything seemed normal. “Starfire?” He squeezed her shoulder. She didn’t even flinch. If there was nothing wrong with her, then why wasn’t she waking up?
Unable to hold himself up any longer, he lowered his head to her chest. He could hear her heart; it was strong and regular, as was the rise and fall of her chest with her breathing. It was as if she were merely sleeping.
“Please be all right,” he whispered to her skin. “Please…”
Robin let himself rest against her. He knew he should move, knew he should get back into his own bed, not only because this was improper, but because there was obviously something wrong with him. But the strength he had somehow found before had left him. The mere act of breathing now was almost too painful and required nearly more power than he had at the moment. And the gentle rise and fall of Starfire’s chest was dizzyingly intoxicating. He felt as though he were on a rowboat in the middle of the ocean. And yet, it was not a bad feeling. Somehow he felt…safe. He let his eyes drift shut again. “Starfire…”
--
“I knew one of us should have stayed down there,” Cyborg lamented to Raven as the pair of them rushed toward the medical suite. Several of Robin’s monitors had triggered their alarms, indicating that his vitals had dropped to critical levels.
“He was stable when we left him,” Raven replied, placing her hand against the bioscanner that opened the door. “We had no reason to think he would decline.”
“But none of has ever been hit by a starbolt before. What if it has some kind of delayed effect?”
Raven’s reply died unformed as the door opened and she and Cyborg took in the sight in front of them.
Robin was sprawled across Starfire, his head on her chest, both feet dangling off her bed. Most of his monitors’ leads lay in disarray on his blanket.
“How the hell was he able to do that?” Cyborg asked.
“My guess is that he woke up, saw that Starfire was being monitored, went to check on her, and didn’t have the strength to get back,” Raven replied, floating over to examine Robin’s monitor. “Looks like he just popped most of his leads. We’ll have to get him hooked back up to see what’s really going on.”
Cyborg looked Robin and Starfire over; a few gentle prods to each confirmed that they were both out of it. “You really think that’s what happened?” he asked, carefully rolling Robin off of Starfire.
“A man in love has the strength of thousands.” Raven’s monotone sucked any romance out of the words, but the fact of their sentiment remained. Cyborg settled Robin onto the bed and raised his eyebrows at Raven.
“Now do you believe me?”
Cyborg sighed noisily. “No wonder Starfire was in such a tizzy.”
Raven finished hooking Robin’s leads back up and examined his readouts for a few seconds. “It looks like he’s fine. He just needs to lay in his own bed and heal and stop worrying about anything else.” Raven paused. “Maybe we should move Starfire to her own room. How is she doing?”
Cyborg turned to look at her monitor. “Do you think we should talk to them about it?”
“No.” Raven’s answer was firm. “They’re still dealing with it themselves. They’ll tell us in their own time, when they’re ready.”
Cyborg switched off Starfire’s monitor and began unhooking her leads. “She’s fine. No major changes since we hooked her up. Let’s get her out of here.” He gathered her up into his arms and took a couple of steps before looking back at Raven. “C’mon, I’m gonna need you to open the doors for me.”
--
Starfire’s eyes snapped open as if she were a doll and someone had pushed a button. She could not recall a time when she had slept so deeply. Indeed, she could not even recall when she had gone to sleep. She was in her room, in her own bed, but could not remember how she had gotten there. On sitting up, she discovered she was wearing her normal clothing, not her nightgown. She found this very odd.
She rubbed her eyes. The last thing she remembered was being in the medical suite with Robin…
Robin!
Without bothering to put on her boots, which somehow were off her feet and at the foot of her bed, Starfire rushed from her room and ran toward the medical suite. She had to be with him; she had to know he was all right. She had to know that he was not upset with her. She had to let him know that she was not upset with him. She attempted to fly, but found she was too scared. So she ran.
Arriving at the door to the medical suite, she pressed her hand to the bioscanner. When the door did not open, she punched her security clearance into the manual override. The red light that indicated that the code was incorrect blinked. She tried again. Again the red light blinked. Growling, she banged on the panel. Her hand glowed green, and she was just about to shoot a starbolt into it when Cyborg called from behind her: “Hey! Don’t go wreckin’ my tower!”
“Cyborg! The security mechanism is malfunctioning!”
“No, it’s not. I’ve locked you out of the medical suite for now. I’ll restore your clearance once Robin’s better.”
“But I must be with him! It is my fault that he is like this! I have…I must…bicuia darfuling Robin u tabphor winfoa…”
Cyborg put a steadying hand on her shoulder. “Calm down. Take a deep breath. Robin is fine. He’s awake, and should be back on his feet in a day or so.”
“Rywb qetqukktiy bir kwr nwaww nug?”
“In English?”
Starfire squeezed her eyes shut and took several breaths to clear her head. “Why will you not let me see him?”
“Because of exactly this! Raven had to put you to sleep last time to get you to clam down, and we found Robin in your bed before we took you back upstairs. We don’t want either of you hurting yourselves at the expense of the other.”
“Robin was in my bed with me?”
“Yes. We think he was trying to check on you.”
“Then…he is not angry with me?”
Cyborg smiled patiently. “No. He understands this was an accident. He was more worried about you than he was himself. I promise you can see him as soon as Raven and I think he’s well enough.”
Starfire suddenly felt deflated. Robin was not angry with her for harming him. But, did he still wish to be her biciua? He had been upset with her before he had been hurt. Was he still upset? She wanted so much to rush to him and talk this through, to make it all right. But Cyborg was right, Robin needed to rest and heal. She did not wish to upset him further. She hung her head, unsure of what to do.
“Why don’t you get a shower and something to eat?” Cyborg spoke softly. “And I’m sure BB could use some competition at Super Monkey Go-Kart Land.”
Starfire looked up into her friend’s eyes. “Very well. I believe sustenance and a washing would serve me well. Thank you, Friend Cyborg.” She headed back toward her room, still uncertain of what to do.
--
Starfire stood outside of Robin’s door. She’d been standing there for over ten minutes. She had not been alone with him since before he’d been hurt. Cyborg and Raven had released him from the medical suite nearly two days ago, and he was slowly getting around. He was taking his meals with the rest of them and had even participated in a light workout this morning with Cyborg and Beast Boy. But he still spent much of his time in his room, presumably resting and sleeping.
Starfire held her hand up to the door for the third time since she’d come here. She finally gathered up enough courage to knock on it. She was still very uncertain as to whether or not he wanted to talk to her. Their few meetings since his release had always been in the presence of the others, and while he had not been cold, he had not been particularly warm, either.
There was no acknowledgement of her knock. Perhaps he was sleeping. It was late; she should probably be sleeping herself. She raised her hand and knocked again.
When her knock was again met with no answer, Starfire dialed her security clearance into the door lock. It was a breech of his privacy, she knew, and the entire team had agreed only to do that in case of emergency, but she needed this to be okay. She needed to apologize to him, she needed to know that he still cared about her and, at the very least, that their friendship was still intact. The door slid open.
Her throat tight and her stomach cold, Starfire stepped into Robin’s room. “Robin?” she inquired softly into the darkness. Her eyes adjusted; Robin’s TV was tuned to a national news channel and Robin, wearing a gray t-shirt and sweat pants, lay on his bed facing it.
“Robin?” She took a few more steps into the room, the door automatically cycling shut behind her. Robin did not respond. Biting her lip, Starfire circled around the bed to see if he was awake. He still wore his mask. Frowning, she waved a hand in front of his eyes. When she received no response, she sighed and snapped the television off. He did need his sleep, Cyborg had said.
Starfire stepped back around the bed, intending to go. She paused and looked back at his sleeping form in the dim light from the window. The tears welled in her throat again. She just…she had to touch him. She had to know she could touch him without hurting him.
She sat on the far side of the bed, just looking at his back. She raised a hand, intending to place it on his shoulder. He stirred in his sleep and she quickly withdrew it. She instead watched the marginal rise and fall of his shoulders as he breathed.
The despair threatened to consume her. How could she go on without knowing if he still cared for her? She lay her head down on his bed, hoping to find the power to hold her emotions in. Robin would want that; he would be proud of her strength.
“Oh, dearest Robin,” she whispered around barely contained sobs, and reached out to rub his back. “I am so very sorry.” The tears broke free now, rolling across her nose to land on his pillow. “I never…” The contact broke whatever dam she had built against him, against this. Needing more, she scooted closer to him and wrapped her arm around his shoulder and pressed her cheek to his back. “I never meant to harm you. I never meant to make you upset with me. Please tell me you accept my apology…”
She dissolved into sobbing, pressing herself against him and hugging him close. She almost did not feel him take her hand in his and press his lips to it. “I’m sorry too, Starfire.”
Starfire’s surprise caused a sob to catch in her throat. “I thought you were asleep,” she spoke to his back.
“I was until you touched me.” He continued to hold her hand, stroking it with this thumb. “I accept your apology, and, like I said, I’m sorry too. I’m still trying to figure this, figure us, out. I shouldn’t have…I didn’t need to be so brusque with you.”
“I was so afraid you thought I harmed you on purpose…that you thought I was angry with you and that I was seeking to punish you.”
Robin pressed her hand to his cheek. “No. You could never hurt anybody you cared about. It was an accident. Frankly, I’m surprised something like this hasn’t happened before.” He softly kissed the palm of her hand.
Emotion welled in Starfire, and tears ran freely down her cheeks now, leaving a large damp spot on Robin’s t-shirt. But now they were from joy instead of despair. “Then…you still wish to be my biciua?”
Robin let go of Starfire’s hand and shifted. She saw him place his mask on his nightstand before rolling over and meeting her gaze, tenderly wiping the tears from her cheeks. “More than anything.”
Starfire threw her arm around his shoulder again and hugged him close. The tears were instantly gone. She backed away to look into his eyes, a smoky blue-gray in the dim light. She let her fingers trace over his browline and down his nose to his lips before burying them in the hair at the nape of his neck, her eyes never leaving his.
“You never answered my question,” Robin murmured, his fingers drawing idle circles on the bare skin of her back.
Starfire blinked. “What question is that?”
“You said that biciuas spend a lot of time looking into each others’ eyes. I asked if they spend a lot of time kissing.”
“Well…yes. But only certain types of kissing.”
Robin nuzzled her brow. “What types are those?” He dropped a soft kiss onto the tip of her nose.
Starfire giggled. “What we have done in the past is appropriate for the stage of biciua.”
“You mean like this?” Robin captured her lips with his, pulling her closer by fanning his fingers across her back.
Stafire beamed, the cold stone in her stomach quickly warming. “Yes. That is most appropriate.”
A sly smile touched Robin’s lips. “And how often do biciuas kiss like that?”
Starfire blinked coyly at him, very aware of what direction he was going. “Often. On occasion many times in a row.” She pushed him over onto his back, kissing him greedily. He responded in kind, winding his fingers into her hair.
Starfire drifted away from him, floating to nearly a foot above him. Her hair curtained around their faces, and they smiled at each other.
He hooked his fingers into the sleeves of her top and pulled her back to him. “You need to cut this out,” he said, reaching up to kiss her eyebrows. “I know you can’t help it, but it makes it very hard to hold on to you.”
“Then perhaps I should hold on to you,” she replied, grabbing his shoulders and rolling so that he lay on top of her.
Robin grinned and happily wrapped his arms around her back as she lifted both of them off of the bed.
Starfire closed her eyes and reveled in Robin’s embrace. Not only was he not angry with her, he felt for her what she did for him. Starfire did not believe that she had ever been happier than she was at this moment. Robin was nibbling on her ear and chin, sending little tingles across her skin and shivers down her spine. She floated higher, both physically and emotionally. How could such joy be possible?
When his lips touched hers again, something ignited in Starfire’s belly and she wrapped herself around Robin, her ankles intertwining and her fingers clutching his shirt. She returned the kiss with much enthusiasm, rubbing her nose against his and taking his upper lip between hers. She felt his hips move and his fingers rake across her back. She ran the tip of her tongue over his lip.
Robin threw his head back, breaking the kiss. Starfire simply took advantage of the new position to pepper kisses down the length of his neck. “Uh, Starfire…”
She could feel his voice box buzz beneath her lips. “Yes, biciua Robin?” She gently began to suck on his exposed collarbone.
“Starfire!” He shifted his weight and rolled them over, disentangling himself from her limbs and falling to the bed. “I think….maybe you should go now.”
Starfire blinked at him, confused. “What is the problem?”
“Well, um…” He looked away from her. “Earth boys aren’t as….regimented as I’m gathering Tamerainians are.”
Starfire lowered herself to the bed to lie next to Robin, her brow furrowed. She studied his face, and cast her gaze across the room for the moment, trying to figure out what he meant. It was only when she noticed the change in the fit of his sweatpants did she understand. “Oh! You are stpimdrf!” She blinked at him curiously. “What is the Earth word?”
Robin cleared his throat. “Um. ‘Aroused’ might be what you’re looking for.”
She pondered that for a moment. “Perhaps.” She looked into his eyes again. “Why is this a problem?”
Robin blew out a breath. “I just…I don’t want to push us into something neither of us are ready for.”
Starfire smiled softly at him. “It would be easy to lose ourselves.”
Robin looked relieved. “Very easy.”
“On Tameran, boys have ways of…” she pondered the words, hoping she chose the correct ones. “…relieving their arousal. Do Earth boys do that?”
Robin stammered. “Uh…well…I….”
Starfire smiled mirthfully and kissed his cheek before floating off the bed and over to the door. “Good night, bicuia Robin.”
Soon: Chapter 6: Strange Dreams