Teen Titans Fan Fiction ❯ Ten Guidelines for Dating Earth Boys ❯ Chapter 1 ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Disclaimer: Teen Titans and all its elements and characters are property of DC Comics, Cartoon Network, and other intermediate companies.

Summary:Boys are puzzles that no girl should ever try to solve. I guess Starfire never got that memo. She's saved countless lives, defeated the toughest villains, and seen things that no one should ever see. Writing ten guidelines for dating earth boys should a piece of cake, right? Wrong.

Ten Guidelines for Dating Earth Boys

Chapter One

By Jacque Nicole

A familiar red headed heroine lumbered dejectedly down the halls of Titans' Tower, lost in thought. She walked down a hallway she found herself in more and more often and stopped in front of a familiar door. She felt so confused and lost that she figured that maybe advice from the person whose room she loitered in front of could only help. After little contemplation, she gave the door quick, hurried knocks.

The door slid open a crack revealing only the annoyed looking face of Starfire's fellow titan—Raven—and darkness.

At the sight of her teammate, Raven's expression relaxed. “What is it?” asked the teenage empath with a leveled voice.

“Oh, friend Raven!” exclaimed Starfire in obvious anguish. “You must allow me passage into your room. I seek guidance.”

Immediately, the door slid open more, allowing the Tameranian teen to slip through. It quickly slid back shut as soon as she was all the way inside.

Starfire walked in slowly, afraid she might trip over something that was hidden in the shrouding darkness of the room. The only light illuminating the area was from the moon which glowed brilliantly through the windows. Starfire could barely see Raven as she stood in a corner on the other side of the room. The only evidence that she was even in the room was the fact that Starfire could just make out the white in her eyes.

After a moment of uncomfortable silence, the teenage empath finally decided to speak. “Aren't you supposed to be watching a movie with Robin?”

Starfire's face fell at her friend's mention of the cause of her current distress. “That is why I seek your guidance!” she whined, taking a seat on her friend's bed. “I do not know what I did wrong!” she explained rapidly. “We were both content, enjoying the movie, when all of a sudden - ”

“ - Wait,” Raven interrupted, holding up a hand. “You have to calm down and start at the very beginning.”

The Tameranian teen took a deep breath. “Okay,” she said. “It all began when...”

-Flashback-

Robin and Starfire reclined leisurely on the huge couch in the Main Room. The lights were dimmed and the small coffee table in front of the sofa held two tall candles that burned brightly. The whole scene was so romantic that the Tameranian teenager couldn't help it when she snuggled close to her companion as he used the remote control to turn on the DVD player.

The title of the movie faded onto the screen.

The Titanic

Robin's shoulders sank. `Great.'

Starfire's sweet voice could be heard over the opening music. “This is such a beautiful movie, is it not, Robin?” she said as the opening credits began to appear onto the screen.

The Boy Wonder put his arm around the girl, pulling her closer. “Yeah,” he replied absently, taking advantage of the closeness to bury his face in her beautiful red locks.

The stupid Celine Dion song that, in Robin's opinion, was overplayed after the movie debuted so many years ago began to play through the television's speakers. Sighing in boredom, Robin leaned back into the couch's pillows and stared aimlessly at the ceiling. From within his arms, he could distinctly hear Starfire singing the lyrics under her breath. Pulling her closer, Robin could not help but wonder how people as opposite as they were could end up together.

It had been a solid month since the pair had made their relationship official. After the whole `crash-landing-on-an-alien-planet' ordeal, there had been obvious tension between the two. Robin had never been very good with girls before, so he was relieved when it was Starfire that made the first move. He could still remember the day...

-Flashback Within a Flashback-

The Boy Wonder sat on the couch in the Main Room, the same way he always did in the mornings, playing the GameStation with Cyborg. Beast Boy was leaning over the edge of the couch, waiting to play the winner. The day began normally, which should have set off alarms in Robin's head in the first place, but he was so absorbed in the GameStation that he did not register the underlying peculiarity of the situation.

Cyborg was whooping his ass in Ultimate Primate XIV, as usual. The robot's fingers moved like lightening across the game controller, maneuvering his gorilla in an inhuman fashion. The Boy Wonder struggled to keep up.

Finally, the words `GAME OVER! Winner... CYBORG!' flashed onto the screen, as Robin knew they would. The teenage robot had won fair and square.

“Dammit Cyborg! You CHEATED! REMATCH!”

Yes, Robin knew that Cyborg had beat him fair and square, but Beast Boy didn't, so if he could confuse Beast Boy into thinking that he deserved a rematch, then he could weasel out another fifteen minutes of fun before some idiot decided they wanted to rob a bank and ruin his morning.

“I so did not! You must be nuts or something, man!” Cyborg shouted back. Honestly, Cyborg knew what Robin was trying to do. He knew that playing along with Robin's little scheme would make him happy... “C'mon, BB. You're up next.” ...which was exactly why he wasn't going to do it. What? Cyborg likes messing with Robin. Who doesn't?

After being unceremoniously kicked off the couch, Robin contented himself by sticking around and having a good laugh as Cyborg resumed the ass whoopage on Beast Boy.

Like I said, the morning started so normally that it was abnormal, so Robin couldn't help but feel subconsciously suspicious as the double automatic doors that lead into the Main Room slid open and a Tameranian goddess slipped through.

Instinctively, he turned around to see who had just entered the room, instantly making direct eye contact with Starfire. At the sight of Robin, Starfire's eyes got this gleam in them that she was starting to get every time she saw him. Like a lost puppy finding its owner, she walked straight toward where Robin was sitting.

The Boy Wonder began to sweat. His body began to twitch. Crazy thoughts began to run through his mind. Did his hair look good? Was his cape straight? Did he smell good?

By this time, Starfire had been staring at Robin worriedly for a couple of seconds. She brought up a hand to up his face. “You look like you've just seen a mlargmag. Are you well?”

`C'mon tongue. Make words.' “I fine,” Robin replied. He smacked himself mentally. `Great grammar, Boy Wonder. She's gonna think you're some kind of caveman. If only I could say “Me Robin. You mine,” clomp her over the head, and drag her by the hair to my room. Life would be so easier...'

“...Don't you agree?” Robin heard the red head say.

For the first time, Robin realized that Starfire had been speaking the entire time. To avoid sounding like a disinterested idiot, he replied, “Oh, yeah. Of course.”

Suddenly, Starfire squealed happily and jumped up and down several times, a huge smile gracing her face. “I knew you would!” she said, swooping down to Robin and giving him a huge smooch on the lips. She pulled back just as suddenly as she went in, not noticing as the Boy Wonder's jaw dropped in surprise.

Puzzled, Robin watched as she happily bounced away. `Well, it looks like I won't have to be borrowing Gnark's club any time soon.'

-End Flashback Within a Flashback-

They announced their relationship to the other Titans soon after, but they had just responded with confounded looks. Apparently, they had assumed that the couple had made it official long before they were told about it.

Robin looked down at the girl he had pined after for months. She looked so adorable with her eyes transfixed on the screen. The Boy Wonder bought the hand that was around her up so that he could comb his fingers through her hair. At the movement she turned her gaze to his face, their eyes meeting, their feelings shining through for the other to see.

Starfire blushed and forced herself to look back at the movie. Robin chuckled at her timidity.

With one last loving look at the top of her head, Robin turned his attention to the movie just in time to catch one of his favorite scenes - the fight in the pub.

In the crook of his arm, Starfire reveled in the feeling of having her boyfriend playing with her hair. She loved finally being able to call him that. She had known for a long time that they were meant to be together, so, in her mind, she had always called him her boyfriend. Robin was just always too stubborn to admit his feelings for her. Who knew that all it took was a good confrontation to get him to talk?

With a happy sigh, Starfire reached out and placed her hand on his thigh. At the contact, she could feel his body tense up. In an attempt to relax him, she ran her fingers up and down his leg in circles.

Robin's heart began pounding in his chest. Did Starfire know what she was doing to him by touching him like that? She tickled his leg, drawing little designs on the fabric of his uniform as her fingers moved higher and higher up. “Star?” he croaked as she strayed dangerously high.

She made a small sound in acknowledgment but was not really attentive, all of her concentration focused on the film.

Higher and higher still. “Star, baby...” Robin groaned from deep withing his throat.

“Shh...” she whispered. “I love this part.”

Her hand kept moving even higher. God, she was almost touching his -

“Star!” Robin shouted as he sprang off the couch, pulling his cape fully around himself.

The sudden loss of support caused Starfire to fall to the side. “Wha...?” she murmured unintelligently, her eyebrows knitting together in confusion.

Robin groped his brain for an excuse. “I - umm...”

Starfire gave him a perplexed look. “Robin, are you all right?”

It was like a lightbulb went off over the Boy Wonder's head. “No! Now that you mention it, don't feel well at all.” He brought a hand up to his forehead. “Yup, just as I thought. I have a fever. I'm going to have to take a shower - a very cold shower - to cool myself off.” He bent down and gave Starfire a kiss on the cheek, making sure that his cape did not fall open. “Maybe we can finish the movie some other time.”

Before Starfire could respond he left. For a long while afterward she stayed in the Main Room on the couch, bewildered by what had just happened.

-End Flashback-

Raven blinked when her friend finished her tale.

“Please, Raven,” Starfire pleaded. “I do not know what I did to upset him.”

If Raven was the type to blush she would have done so then. “Starfire, I don't think I can tell you what you did,” she said, choosing her words carefully.

Starfire sighed in frustration. “Why must earth boys be so complex? There must be some sort of manual that allows one to understand them.”

Raven nearly cracked a smile at her teammate's naivety. “If a guidebook like that existed then the world would be a much simpler place to live in.”

Starfire folded her arms and pouted. “If there is no manual on how one should go about dating an Earth boy, then I will just have to create my own,” she announced, determined.

Raven looked back at her friend, humor shining in her eyes. “Well, good luck with that.”

“Do not worry about it,” replied Starfire as she slid Raven's door back open so that she could leave. “I do not believe that I will be needing it.”

...End Chapter One...

Number of words: 1,975

Posted: December 26, 2005

Last Edited: August 20, 2006