Teen Titans Fan Fiction ❯ Ten Guidelines for Dating Earth Boys ❯ Chapter 5 ( Chapter 5 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Ten Guidelines for Dating Earth Boys

Chapter Five

By Jacque Nicole

Guideline #4 - When you go on a date, avoid the `bad' part of town. It brings out the worst in Earth boys.

Starfire scraped her shoe on the dingy tiled floor of the restaurant, marring it with a thick layer of dust. She tapped her fingernails on the sticky table, silently wondering when it had been washed last. She sighed with distraught, averted her gaze toward the stained ceiling, and sighed again.

Robin looked at Starfire, becoming partially annoyed by her mannerisms. “We could just leave now, you know.”

“No,” responded Starfire, tiredly twirling her hair with her fingers as one of the children in the restaurant let out a loud shriek. “It would not be appropriate.”

The Boy Wonder leaned back into his seat with a huff. “I'd rather be inappropriate than be food poisoned.”

From the look in Starfire's eyes, Robin knew that they would not be leaving this hole-in-the-wall of a restaurant until they'd chewed their last bites. Sometimes, Robin wished his girlfriend wouldn't be so polite. Just once he'd love to hear her give a big belch in public or spit a huge loogie, but it was not in her nature to do such things. Polite and innocent - such was Starfire. His Starfire. Maybe that was one of the reasons he adored her so much.

The couple sat together at the table in silence, Starfire counting slowly from 1 to 10 in her head to calm herself before the waitress returned and Robin praying that he wouldn't find anything crawling in his burger.

Starfire's ears perked when she heard the familiar click-clack that she had already found herself hating. “Got yer meals here,” Candy announced in her drawling accent and popping her gum in punctuation. Without further pretense, two identically bland plates with bacon cheeseburgers on them were dropped onto the table.

The Tameranian princess managed to force a smile on her face. “Thank you, Candy.”

“Yea, whatever,” said the blond. Immediately, she directed her attention to Robin. “Try the burger, hon'. I promise it's the best one yer gonna find this side of Jump City,” she told him, batting her lashes so furiously that Starfire almost believed that she had gotten something stuck in her eyes.

Robin wearily looked down at the malformed monstrosity that Candy had called a burger. He looked up and at the Texan waitress' pleading face and then at his girlfriend's blank expression. He wasn't going to get any help from her.

Resolutely, he closed his eyes and gulped as he picked up the cold burger. Knowing it would have seemed too rude, he opted not to hold his nose as he took a huge bite out of his sandwich.

The taste was nearly unbearable, but the Boy Wonder forced himself to chew, despite the fact that he already felt his stomach rejecting it before he even swallowed.

Candy smiled dazzlingly. “So you like it, hon?” Robin pasted on a smile and nodded his head in between painful bites. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Starfire trying not to laugh. “See. Told ya - best this side of Jump City.”

Robin made a mental note to never visit this side of Jump City ever again.

“Be back with yer check, kay?” said Candy. “Don't go anywhere, cutie,” and with a wink to Robin, and a glare at Starfire, Candy disappeared to fetch the check.

As soon as she was out of Robin's field of vision, he made a mad dash to the back of the restaurant where the restrooms were located, probably to spit out the hamburger, Starfire thought.

After seeing her boyfriend's reaction to the food they'd just been given, Starfire wasn't quite sure if she even wanted to give it a try. “It would be improper if I did not at least taste it,” she said to herself. `Famous last words,' she thought inwardly as she reached for the mustard bottle on the table and drowned her burger in the condiment.

She lifted the food to her lips and took a large bite. Her eyes widened.

XOXOXOXOX

Minutes later, the Boy Wonder made his way back to his table, skin flushed but looking thoroughly relieved. Exhausted, he plopped into his chair, immediately noticing something different about the setting.

“Hey, Star?” said Robin in confusion. “Where did my burger go?”

Starfire licked her fingers and shrugged her shoulders. “Umm... I do not know.”

Robin raised an eyebrow. “Right...” he said, knowingly. It wasn't like he wanted to eat the burger anyway. He actually valued his life. “So, did Candy bring the check?”

Starfire pointed to the small sheet of white paper on the table. Silently, Robin read the cost of their meal to himself. $12.57. He reached behind himself and patted his right pocket. And then his left pocket. And then both pockets. Alarmed, Robin stood up to check all of his pockets easier.

Starfire looked questionably at her boyfriend. “What is the matter?”

“I had my wallet when we left, didn't I?” asked the Boy Wonder. “I can't find it anywhere.”

“Oh,” replied Starfire. “Well, I think I have some money in the T-Car. If you stay here, I could probably go and retrieve it - ”

“Star,” Robin interrupted sternly. “You know how I feel about you paying.”

Having an Englishman as a butler at Wayne Manor didn't just give Robin the opportunity to perfect a mock English accent. He was taught to always respect a woman like a proper gentleman, so, when it came to dates, Robin always paid for everything. No excuses. It was a moral issue for him, so he always made sure that he bought everything on the date. It was never a problem before, considering he was the son of a billionaire, but even if he were broke, Robin would have still found a way to pay. That's just how old fashioned he was.

“Hang on tight, Star,” he said. “I'm just going to check to see if I dropped it somewhere in the bathroom. I'll be right back.”

And so Starfire sat and watched her boyfriend disappear into the back of the restaurant once again. Almost immediately, Starfire heard the loathed click-clack of Candy's cheap shoes coming toward her.

The Tameranian princess tried to not roll her eyes. “What do you want?”

“My, my, a little rude aren't we?” said Candy. “I thought super heroes were supposed to be happy and friendly and that sort of garbage.”

“Yes, we usually are, but I'm afraid you have spoiled my demeanor today,” Starfire retorted smartly.

“Well, sweetie,” Candy drawled, “I just came to see if you were ready to pay.”

“Right,” replied Starfire sarcastically. “By saying `I just came to see if you were ready to pay' do you mean `I just came to see if I could flirt with your boyfriend'?”

Candy raised her eyebrows. This girl was smart. “Well, if the opportunity presented itself...”

“ - Which it would not have because Robin is not interested in you,” the red head interrupted. By now, the attention of the entire establishment had focused on the pair. Everyone seemed transfixed by the little soap opera unraveling before their eyes.

The attention did not go unnoticed by Candy, and she decided she would milk it for all it was worth. “Whatever, hon. Just pay the bill and leave. Yer startin' to get on my nerves.”

Starfire looked in the direction of the bathroom door. It didn't look like Robin would be returning anytime soon. “Certainly,” responded Starfire, leaving her seat and heading for the exit.

“Where do you think you're going?” Candy nearly shouted at Starfire's retreating back.

The Tameranian princess stopped in her tracks. “I am going to get money out of our car so I can finally leave this wretched place.”

Candy was silent. Starfire realized that it was the first time that the blond Texan had her mouth shut since she met her. “Do you think I'm stupid or somethin'?” she finally answered incredulously.

Starfire gaped at her. “Well...”

“I bet you don't even have any money with you!” Candy accused. Everyone in the restaurant gasped. “Who would've known - Perfect little Starfire steals meals!”

Starfire looked aghast. “Are you serious?”

XOXOXOXOX

Meanwhile, just outside the store window, a burly teenage boy watched the scene going on inside of the restaurant in rapt fascination. Slowly, a sneaky grin etched itself upon his lips. `Looks like today is my lucky day,' he thought to himself as he opened the door to the building.

XOXOXOXOX

Starfire's eyes were almost bulging out of her head in shock at Candy's accusation. “Why would I, someone who fights for justice, steal!”

“I dunno,” Candy shot back, putting her well manicured hands on her hips indignantly. “I've seen some pretty twisted super heroes in my day.”

Star rolled her eyes. “And what `day' would that be? The 90's?”

Candy grit her teeth together, apparently tired of the shouting match. “Look honey, you'd better miraculously cough up some money now or I'll be seeing you in the kitchen scrubbin' those dirty dishes.” Starfire's jaw dropped. “I can just see the headlines now: `Super Beauty Becomes a Super Busgirl'.”

“I don't think so,” Starfire heard a familiar deep voice say from behind her. She slowly turned around, spotting the last person she'd expected would come to her aid.

Todd, the boy from earlier that day, gave Starfire a dazzling smile. “I've got it covered, cutie,” he said, pulling his wallet out of his back pocket.

The Tameranian princess felt nauseous at the way he was looking at her. “Uh... thank you,” she said, taking the money from him as he handed it to her. She threw the bills over her shoulder for Candy to pick up and swiftly left the building, Todd right on her heels.

Suddenly, the door to the restroom flew open and a very confused Robin walked out. He scratched his head in thought as he tried to remember where he last had his wallet. “I could have sworn I had it when we were driving here...” The boy wonder trailed off as he noticed everyone in the restaurant had their eyes glued on him. “Uhh... did I miss something?”

His eyes flew to the table at which he and Starfire were sitting. It was empty. “What the...? Where's Star?” Every hand in the restaurant pointed at the exit. “Thanks... I guess…” he said as he heading out the door even more confused than he was before.

XOXOXOXOX

“Thank you for helping me back there. I really appreciate it,” said Starfire as she walked down the street with her savior, Todd.

“Wasn't a problem,” he replied suavely. “I always love to help a lady in distress.”

“Yes, well...” said Starfire uncomfortably, “...As much I do appreciate your assistance, you do not have to walk me to my vehicle.”

“One can never be so sure,” replied Todd as he swung an arm around Starfire's slender shoulders. “This is the bad side of Jump City,” he said, gesturing to the decrepit buildings lining the vacant streets. “You never know what kind of deranged predators are on the look out for gorgeous girls like you.”

Starfire giggled nervously, removing Todd's arm from around her. “I doubt that I would have any trouble.”

Just as quickly as Starfire disentangled herself, Todd embraced her once again with an arm around her waist. “But why attract danger? No one would dare bother you if you had a big man by your side.”

“Thanks for your concern,” came a not-to-pleasant voice from behind the couple, “but she already has one.” Robin roughly separated Todd from Starfire and possessively held her close to him.

Todd stared down Robin, ignoring the bruise forming on his arm from where the Boy Wonder had grabbed him. “Oh, really?” he said to Robin, apparently mocking him.

“Yeah,” answered the Boy Wonder stonily. “Really.”

Todd shrugged his shoulders in submission. “Whatever, man,” he said, passing the couple to walk in the opposite direction. Before he went by them, he gave Starfire one last glance and winked. “I'll be seeing you later.” He nearly laughed aloud at the death glare Robin was giving him. He shook his head and walked away. “Irresistible, indeed,” he muttered to himself.

As soon as Todd was out of sight, Starfire instantly felt Robin's muscles relax. She slipped out of his grasp and began to walk toward where the T-Car was parked near the curb. “Well, now that that turned out to be a disaster, let us go...” she trailed off, realizing that Robin wasn't following her. She turned around and looked at her lover, slightly puzzled. “Is something wrong?”

“What happened?” Robin asked slowly, still standing in the middle of the sidewalk.

“In the restaurant or with Todd?” asked Starfire innocently.

Robin cringed at the thought that something had happened `with Todd'. “Both.”

“Well, Todd saw that Candy was harassing me and was nice enough to pay for our meals for us -”

“What!” exclaimed Robin. “Star, I told you I had it covered! You know how I get about stuff like that!”

Starfire raised her eyebrow. “Well, did you locate your wallet?”

Robin opened and closed his mouth, trying to find a response. “...No. I didn't.”

“I did not think so,” she said, leaning against the cold metal side of the T-Car and folding her arms.

“Whatever. That doesn't explain why he had his hands all over you.”

“I'm not quite sure. He just suddenly started to become too nice.”

“Yeah,” Robin said temperamentally. “I saw that part.”

Starfire sighed tiredly. The last thing she wanted was to be with Robin when he was being moody and acting jealous. “Robin, are you upset?”

“Of course not,” said the Boy Wonder, throwing his arms up in to air. “I mean, why would I be upset? I just saw some strange guy feeling up my girlfriend. Why in the world would I be upset?”

“My thoughts exactly,” responded Starfire with a smile, oblivious to Robin's true feelings. “For a second I thought you were experiencing one of your testosterone overloads,” she joked. She opened the door to the passenger side of the T-Car and slid into the seat. “So, are we going to the park?”

Robin sighed and fished the keys to the T-Car out of his pocket. “Whatever.”

...End Chapter Five...

Number of Words: 2,404
Posted: April 8, 2006
Edited: August 20, 2006