Teen Titans Fan Fiction ❯ The Real World: Titans Tower ❯ Chase! ( Chapter 8 )

DISCLAIMER: The New Teen Titans were created by Marv Wolfman and George Perez. Those characters and any others appearing in this story belong to DC Comics, not me (Though I've put my own personal spin on a lot of them, of course). So no, I'm not making any money off them. Put down the phone. The FBI doesn't care.

 

“All Star Teen Titans”

a.k.a.

“The Real World: Titans Tower”

 

Chapter 8: Chase!

 

ROLE CALL:

Robin—Dick Grayson: Arrogant former circus star, acrobat extraordinaire and hopeful ladies man.

Wonder Girl—Donna Troy: Adopted sister of Wonder Woman, bestowed with the powers of the Amazons.

Speed—Wally West: A bitter, living embodiment of the mythical Speed Force.

Cyborg—Victor Stone: Half flesh, half machine—all human.

Beast Boy—Garfield Logan: Goofy, insecure animal shapeshifter and former member of the Doom Patrol.

Raven: Cynical empath shrouded in mystery.

Starfire—Princess Koriand'r: Honest, caring newcomer to Earth capable of flight and generating energy blasts.

 

This is the true story of seven teenaged superheroes, picked to live in a house, fight crime together and have their lives taped, to find out what happens when heroes stop being polite, and start being real. The Real World: Titans Tower.

 

***OFF THE AIR—LOREN JUPITER'S OFFICE, SAN FRANSCISCO, CALIFORNIA, USA***

Princess Komand'r of Tamaran, older sister of the Teen Titan Koriand'r—Starfire—took orders from no one. She was royalty, and in her mind she was better than everybody else—especially her spoiled, kiss-up of a sister. Starfire had everything handed to her on a golden platter, yet she always acted so sweet and naïve and innocent about all of it. Komand'r snarled in disgust as she remembered their childhood. She knew it had to be an act, and it turned her stomach.

 

The brat even had the birthright—the right to one day become ruler of Tamaran— just handed to her, just because she could fly while Komand'r could not. To hell with Tamaran's laws, she thought—that just wasn't fair! That was the day she realized how much she despised her sister, her parents, and everybody on that miserable planet. It was the day she decided she was going to make Koriand'r's life as miserable as she had made Komand'r's.

 

And she did, without her sister even realizing she was behind it, but eventually Starfire got away from her. It took the vengeful princess months, but she had finally tracked her to Earth. Now only one obstacle stood in her way—Mr. Loren Jupiter, the director of The Real World: Titans Tower, a reality TV show of which Kory was a cast member. Fortunately, she knew he posed no threat.

 

“Nice transportation tubes,” Komand'r observed, looking towards the tunnel that had brought her here from her guest room in the tower. “You have to do this often, I assume?”

 

“Not really,” replied Jupiter, “But you never know when an emergency can come up.”

 

Komand'r chuckled condescendingly. “I'm rather surprised you were even expecting the possibility of murderous houseguests, but then again, I suppose that if you're buying your cast from alien space traders, nothing should be too surprising.”

 

“I don't make it a practice,” replied the director calmly. “You know, I don't care if you make Starfire's life miserable, as you said you planned—but you do realize, I'm not going to let you kill her, no matter how much you may hate her. I need my Titans far too much for that.”

 

Again the dark-haired alien laughed, amused by this human's perceptions of what she wanted. “You don't have to worry, I don't want Koriand'r dead. What I have in store for her is far worse. But, still—I doubt a worthless bug like yourself could ever stop me if I felt like it.” She leaned over his desk, calmly moving her face towards his. “So don't think you have the power to tell me what to do.”

 

Jupiter smiled and moved his hands up slowly in a sign of non-aggression. He didn't want to make her angry if he needn't—her plan sounded like too much entertainment value for him to lose out on it. Still, her threats didn't trouble him in the slightest. With Mr. Jupiter's resources and connections, she was about as worrisome as a fly.

 

“Whatever you say, princess,” he replied, the corner of his mouth turned up in a half smile. “But you'd be surprised what a bug like myself could do if I wanted to.”

 

***ON THE AIR—TITANS TOWER, ROBIN'S ROOM, THREE AM***

Dick Grayson rolled back and forth in his bed, his sheets a mangled, tangled mess. His crime-fighting gadgets, which once had completely covered his floor like grass would a lawn, had finally been pushed into several large piles across the room—if only out of necessity. As the acrobat tossed again, smiling even in sleep as he no doubt dreamt of topless cheerleaders or the like, his window slowly crept open.

 

In an instant a dark figure pulled itself through, landing without making a sound. Visible only as a shadow in the pitch-black room, the figure was slim, and seemed to be wearing a cape. It had two very tall pointy ears atop its head. Surveying the room, the figure shook its head in disgust at its appearance before heading for Robin's bed.

 

Moving noiselessly, it loomed over the sleeping teen for only a second before poking him in the arm. Then, as that produced no results, he was poked several more times in succession.

 

“Stop it!” Robin yelled, bolting upright and smacking the gloved hand away from his arm. It took a few seconds for the teen's mind to register that a person was standing over his bed, and as soon as it clicked he jumped several feet in fright and landed beside it. Quickly flipping the light switch, he was greeted by the sight of a shapely female, covered from head to toe in leather.

 

“Hot damn,” smiled the boy.

 

Robin: “Wow, I was dreamin' bout something like this, and here we go, as soon as I wake up, there she is!”

 

The leather was actually a costume, every inch of it black. A cowl covered her head, with two pointed ears like Batman's, only at least twice the length. Where the mouthpiece would be in his there was more leather instead, sewn into place—the eyes of the cowl were black as well. A utility belt rested across her hips, the pockets unusually large, hanging far below the belt itself. A bat insignia was emblazoned across her chest, the outline yellow and the inside black.

 

Dick Grayson continued to smile. “Batgirl?” She nodded, her name being one of the few words she actually understood. Born as Cassandra Cain, the daughter of two of the world's deadliest assassins, Batgirl had been isolated from speech and writing all her life, allowing the language section of her brain to instead learn to interpret body language the way normal people can words.

 

At a young age her father assigned Cassandra her first kill—with childlike enthusiasm she fulfilled her mission, not even realizing what she had done until her body-reading skills saw the life draining from her target's body. Traumatized, she vowed never to kill again and fled from her father, wandering until found by the crippled hacker wizard Barbara Gordon—aka Oracle, a partner of the vigilante Batman.

 

From there, she became the Batman's first partner to follow him onto the streets. As Batgirl, Cassandra used her body-reading skills to determine her opponent's next moves and flawlessly evade their attacks and beat them into submission. Her proficiency at the martial arts even outclassed the Batman himself.

 

So although Robin spoke aloud none of the sexual fantasies that ran rampant through his mind, Batgirl could almost see them as clear as day just by interpreting his movements. It made her uncomfortable, but she remembered what Batman had told her—although crude and unrefined as of now, Dick Grayson had…how did he phrase it? Potential.

 

Robin: “Okay, so kinky bondage-bat showing up was cool and all, but since she's connected with that dick Batman I'm sure there's gotta be some stupid test involved with this.”

 

“What are you doing here?” he asked, glancing towards his alarm clock. “Believe me, I've got no problem with you coming around, but it's three f---ing AM!” He paused for a second as he brushed his hand through his hair. “I mean, you're missing out on my peak hotness showing up here before noon!”

 

Cassandra sighed, but her annoyance at his arrogance quickly disappeared as she realized she needed a way to tell him that Batman wished to see him—after all, with her unusual language skills, she barely knew a dozen words! Getting an idea, Batgirl pointed towards the bat emblem on her costume.

 

“Breasts?” asked Dick, noticing the logo's location.

 

Robin: “I mean, c'mon, it's always about boobs.”

 

Shaking her head, she again pointed. “Oh…Batman?” Finally receiving the answer she wanted, Batgirl nodded eagerly and then pointed towards Robin. “Me?” Again she replied with an affirmative nod, and this time she pointed towards her eyes. “Eyes?” Cassandra shook her head no, prompting Dick to venture, “Um, see?”

 

Watching as his leather-clad guest nodded enthusiastically, Robin thought for a second aloud. “Batman…you…see…or is it me…” Suddenly his eyes grew wide as he came to a—sadly, false—realization. “Batman sees me?!”

 

Dick rushed to his open window, sticking his head out. “Does that mean he's watching me? Where's the bastard?!”

 

Robin: “I just knew he was a sicko! Nobody who acts like he does is normal!”

 

Batgirl buried her face in her palm, realizing she needed another plan. Glancing through his disheveled room, she noticed Dick's naked-lady alarm clock—certainly nobody could blame her for choosing that of all things. The silent girl pulled its plug from the wall and walked to Robin, tapping him on his back.

 

“Huh?” As Dick turned away from the open window, Cassandra tossed his clock through it, smiling widely beneath her cowl. “No! Not my hot, naked clock!” Acting on his first impulse, he leapt face first out the window after it!

 

Robin: “Yeah, I must be listening to Kory too much. All this `oh, act on your first instinct, it's always right' crap's got me out a window without my utility belt! Hell, I don't even have any clothes on `sides my boxers!”

 

Fortunately for Dick, Batgirl wasn't going to let him die. Following a loud boom, a rope wrapped around the acrobat, stopping his fall before he even got a few feet below the window. Following the line, Robin saw it attached to a silver, bat-shaped glider Batgirl was riding over the San Franscisco bay, approaching the city itself at break-neck speeds.

 

“Let me down!” the bound Titan cried, but Cassandra just replied by holding one finger in the air, telling him to wait a minute. Sure enough, a minute later he was freed—a Batarang effortlessly cut through the rope, and Robin landed on his back atop a tall building. The glider hovered low next to him, and Batgirl leapt off, barely even landing before swiping her arm behind her back to intercept a punch.

 

Spinning, she knocked Robin aside, and as he skidded to a stop he yelled, “What the hell are you doing?” Cassandra had no quick gesture to answer his query, but fortunately Dick didn't have the patience to wait for it anyway.

 

Robin: “The chick may be all hot and kinky, but I think she's got a screw loose or something! Well, she is a Bat…figures.”

 

Dick Grayson took to the air, his acrobatic skills coming forth in full force as he leapt, ducked and span, lashing out with strikes, punches and kicks from every direction, as he'd done when he'd finally managed to tag Batman. However, Batgirl moved even faster, like black lightning—knowing where each attack would land because of her body-reading, she effortlessly slapped aside anything Robin could possibly throw at her.

 

Robin: “Man I wish I had my utility belt—then this'd be cake! Jeez, it's like she's a hot ninja robot or something!”

 

Finally reading an opening Batgirl's arm thrusted forward, her open palm colliding with Dick's jaw and sending the boy flying backwards, blood dripping from his open mouth. Regaining his composure in mid-air, he somersaulted twice and landed in a crouching position, with one hand slapping the ground. He was ready for more, but was only greeted with a deep voice that definitely didn't belong to his opponent.

 

“Enough!”

 

And suddenly a blue, sizzling blast overtook the rooftop.

***TRANSMISSION FROM ROBIN LOST—OFF THE AIR***

It took a second for Dick to regain his bearings, but as they slowly returned, the Titan was pleased to notice that he wasn't dead! Opening his eyes, he saw another figure standing besides Batgirl, broader and taller but with the same ominous silhouette.

 

“Batman,” growled the acrobat. “You couldn't just sneak into my room and save me all this humiliation?”

 

“I could have,” the dark vigilante said, his voice as harsh as ever, “If I'd wished to be seen. That was an EMP blast you just witnessed—it disabled the `camera halo' Jupiter has filming you at all times.” Shaking his head in amazement, he continued. “Of course, they'll repair themselves quickly—and I don't know where MTV got advanced nanotech like that—but they should be out long enough for us to have a little chat.”

 

Robin's eyes bugged. “You have your lackey break into my room and drag me half way across the city, and you expect me to talk to you?”

 

“Of course,” Batman replied, not doubting his answer in the slightest. “You're not doing this for me, after all…”

 

Not giving Dick Grayson time to ponder the meaning of that statement, a third figure emerged from behind the two bats. The boy was about a foot shorter than Dick, and wearing a very similar costume. The cape was shorter, and lacking the scallions at the end—the sleeves were short instead of long, and they, his leggings, gloves, and mask were all green instead of black or red like his. However, it was definitely a Robin uniform, as the large `R' on the right of his chest could attest. Dick especially noticed that, although seemingly in peak physical condition, the boy didn't have the natural athletic figure he and the bats did.

 

“Real original,” Robin growled. “Shouldn't I have a copyright on this or something?”

 

“I'm a big fan,” the smaller Robin said with a smile and a shrug. “I wanted the Robin name to be an official part of Batman's team.”

 

“Robin here is an extremely talented detective,” interjected Batman. “He has the potential to be better than me. He even figured out my secret identity.”

 

Dick grinned. “Nice. Care to share?”

 

The dark knight wasn't amused. “No secret identities. You're filmed far too much for that to be safe. Even the boy will just be `Robin' to you.”

 

“Well, that'll be confusing.”

 

“Yeah,” the smaller Robin said apologetically. “Didn't think of that when I chose the name.”

 

Clearing his throat, Batman returned to the topic at hand. “Unfortunately, he doesn't have the same physical aptitude.”

 

Bending his arm to show off his biceps, the boy smiled. “I'm getting there, but it takes a lot more work for me than for Batman.”

 

“Let me guess,” ventured Dick, who—despite how he sometimes acted—wasn't a fool. “You want me to train him in acrobatics?”

 

“Fighting crime takes a lot of my time,” Batman said as explanation. “I wish I could train him fully myself, but you're more than qualified for the job.” Trying to hide a grin, the vigilante added, “Perhaps some of his detective training will rub off on you.”

 

Of course! The pieces clicked together in Dick's head. “I see, this is just a part of that bullshit you're always giving me about not living up to my potential!”

 

As always, Batman refused to dignify Dick's statement with a response. “Are you in or not?”

 

His eyes wide, the tiny detective pleaded. “Please?”

 

Dick couldn't resist a fan. “Fine,” conceded the acrobat. Maybe it'll be fun, he told himself. Plus, as big of a jerk as Batman was, Dick figured it couldn't hurt to learn some new skills. After all, Bats was right about at least one thing—his potential was unlimited.

 

“Good,” Batman replied, taking a step backwards. This prompted his two partners to do the same. “Robin will be by in a few days for his first lesson.”

 

“Thanks!” the younger Robin exclaimed happily. “I'll see you then!”

 

Even Batgirl waved goodbye, cocking her head to the side, but as she did so her other hand dropped several metallic spheres to the ground. Smoke erupted from them, quickly overtaking the rooftop.

 

Robin coughed, but as the cloud cleared, he was enraged to see the three crime-fighters gone! “Dammit!” he cried into the air. He didn't have his utility belt, a phone or a communicator, and with his camera halo offline even Jupiter couldn't track him! Looking over the roof's edge, he quickly realized he couldn't get down that way.

 

“Dammit Batman you asshole!” he cried again into the night sky, but knowing the dark knight as he did, he didn't wait for an answer. Dropping onto his butt glumly, Dick rested his chin in his palms and sighed. “Y'know, of all the things I need up here, I wish I had some clothes the most.”

 

***ON THE AIR—LOREN JUPITER'S OFFICE, WAITING ROOM***

Outside the personal office of the dubious Mr. Loren Jupiter sat his skilled secretary, Lilith Clay. The beautiful redhead leaned over her cluttered desk, tapping the tip of her pencil against some papers before hurriedly scribbling down some notes. Her employer was a busy man, and in the end Lilith was often the one who dealt with his paperwork and, as of late, she'd also been covering the ramifications of his clandestine deals.

 

The waiting room she worked in was tiny, with only three or four chairs—which was fine with Jupiter, as he didn't want the dangerous criminals he worked with in there long anyway. With a sigh Lilith shut her book around the classified papers, leaning back in her chair as she pondered her lot in life. This entire show had her worried. How far would Jupiter go to ensure its success? How far would she allow herself to go before she lost all her morality?

 

“Excuse me, ma'am?” Lilith snapped out of her trance and saw standing on the other side of her desk, the Amazon and Teen Titan, Wonder Girl. “Mr. Jupiter asked to see me?”

 

“Yes, yes he did,” the secretary said. Without Donna noticing, she flipped a switch beneath the desk—in response, a silent alarm came to life in Jupiter's office, alerting him of the Titan's arrival. This gave him a few moments to hide anything that might need hiding before she entered. “He's expecting you,” she continued with a smile.

 

“Thanks,” replied Donna cheerfully as she opened the office door.

 

Wonder Girl: “So just after breakfast I got an alert from Jupiter asking me to fly downtown to his office to see him. I have no idea what's going on, but it must be serious if he wants to see me in person!”

 

“Miss Troy!” Jupiter greeted his Titan with open arms, sitting at an immaculate desk. He'd been staring straight at the door, making eye-contact the second she'd opened it. Donna raised an eyebrow, but quickly glossed over the creepiness of the entire situation. After all, Jupiter had always seemed a little off. “Come on, sit down, make yourself at home!”

 

Wonder Girl pulled over a chair, but she certainly didn't make herself at home. This was essentially her boss, and she had to look as professional as possible! “So, what's the big situation?” she asked, trying to hide her immense curiosity. “I mean, this has to be serious!”

 

“Not really,” Jupiter said with a shrug as he tossed the adopted Amazon a small manila envelope. “Inside that envelope are official papers. You'll need them to get Robin out of jail—if I weren't so busy I'd get him myself, but…”

 

Wonder Girl: “Dick's in jail?! Sadly, I'm not surprised, but it's still not something I thought I'd ever hear!”

 

Stunned, Donna could only sit there for a second before asking, “What?!”

 

“The police called here not long ago,” the director explained. “They said they found a teenage boy wandering the streets in his underwear. When they arrested him, he claimed he was Robin!”

 

The girl snickered, but quickly contained her amusement. “And I'm sure it is, knowing Dick,” she said as she got to her feet. “Well, I'd better get over there before he picks a fight with the some big guy named Bubba…”

 

“Hold on,” called Jupiter. “Before you go, I was wondering how your hunt for your parents was going?”

 

Donna grimaced. “It's not, right now,” she said, quickly looking for an appropriate response. “I appreciate your concern, but I've been so busy helping the others train I just haven't had time.”

 

Wonder Girl: “Of course, the honest answer would be that I really don't think the others would be any help at all to me, but I don't want to hurt Jupiter's feelings. He assured me when I joined up that my teammates could help me find my parents, but it's not his fault they're all such…rookies.”

 

“Of course,” nodded Jupiter. “Well, I hope that changes for you soon.”

 

“Me too,” said the girl wonder sadly as she walked back into the waiting room.

 

However, before she could dwell any further, she was greeted by an enthusiastic voice. “Hey, you're Wonder Girl!”

 

The voice came from a young man, maybe nineteen, twenty years old at the most. He wore neatly pressed slacks and a polo collared shirt—his red hair was gelled in a failed effort to tame its curls. A few scruffy red whiskers dotted his chin, no doubt a weak attempt at growing a goatee. Ms. Clay held onto his arm, endeavoring to restrain the boy lest his enthusiasm get the best of him.

 

Wonder Girl: “Wow, what a typical prep! I wonder if he's rich or just pretending to be…and Hera, that goatee—if it can even be called that! He'd better wait till he's a little manlier until he tries to grow one of those…

 

“Heh, manly. Now there's a word you'd have never heard on Themyscara.”

 

Lilith blushed. “I'm sorry Ms. Troy, he's—”

 

“Don't worry about it,” Donna said with a slight smile. Turning to the young man, she asked, “You a fan?”

 

“You bet!” he exclaimed, extending his hand. “The name's Terry! Terry Long!”

 

Wonder Girl: “Please don't be the same sort of perverted `fan' Dick is, please!”

 

“Terry works with the editors here on the show,” Lilith interjected. With a playful smirk she added, “He's our `gofer.'”

 

Chuckling in embarrassment, Terry quickly chimed in. “Only because I'm putting myself through college.” Shrugging, he said, “I'm a history major, though I have no idea what in the world I'll do with that after I graduate.”

 

“I see,” Donna said quickly, glancing towards the door. “Well, it was a pleasure meeting you, Terry, but I must be going…”

 

The young Titan prayed the gofer would take her hint, but as she saw him clench his fists and quickly swallow the lump in his throat, she knew that wasn't the case.

 

Wonder Girl: “Great Zeus, what could he possibly be planning? It won't be subtle, I'll guarantee that.”

 

“How about lunch sometime, then?!” The words ran together as they trailed out of the nervous boy's mouth. “I know this wonderful café a few blocks—”

 

“Um,” Wonder Girl interjected, “You do realize I already have a boyfriend, right?”

 

Wonder Girl: “And while Terry may be sorta cute in his own little dorky way, he's no Kyle Rayner!”

 

“Oh,” Terry said sadly, hanging his head sadly for a second. However, he perked right back up as inspiration struck. “Can I at least give you my number?!”

 

Donna sighed. “Fine. I suppose that couldn't hurt.”

 

Wonder Girl: “I mean, it's not like I'll ever call it, and it'll get him off my back at least.”

 

However, as Lilith Clay watched Terry Long scramble to find a pen and paper, she just shook her head—her thoughts were the complete opposite of Donna Troy's. On a show like this, situations like these never turned out well.

 

***TITANS TOWER—BEAST BOY'S ROOM***

“Dude, wake up!”

 

Matt Logan, slacker cousin of the animal shapeshifter Beast Boy, was awaken abruptly by a shove to his chest. Coming to in the bottom tier of a disheveled bunk bed, he noticed his green relative prodding him. “Dude, it's like twelve thirty! We've missed breakfast and everything!”

 

“Eh,” shrugged Matt as he tried to bury his head in his pillow, “My midnight snack held me over fine.”

 

Beast Boy: “Yeah, 24 courses of dessert tend to do that.”

 

“Yeah, well Donna complains enough about your eating already,” Garfield said with a sigh as he pulled his cousin off of his bed. The older boy landed on the equally cluttered floor with a thud. “We don't need her complaining `bout your sleeping too.”

 

Despite having just fallen off a bed, Matt chuckled. “Just like a girl to put down what a guy loves the most, right cuz?”

 

“I…guess so.”

 

Beast Boy: “Though Kory doesn't seem to be that way…Just Donna. I dunno if you can say they're all like that…it's not all true.”

 

Pulling himself from the floor groggily, it took Matthew a few minutes to notice the music playing in the background. As the catchy piano tune rolled through his ears, the teen thought it sounded vaguely familiar. “Yo, what're you playing?”

 

“Ben Folds Five,” Gar said, stopping in his tracks and turning towards his cousin. “Dude, you gave me this CD.”

 

Beast Boy: “It was his going away gift to me the day my family and I left for the trip to Africa. Dad hated it cause of all the cussing—I guess Matt's parents just never noticed—but after he an' Mom died it was, like, one of the only things I had to remind me of my family!”

 

“Oh,” Matt replied. He'd been wondering what had happened to that CD—he'd totally forgotten ever giving it to Gar! And then, after a week of frantically looking for it, he'd forgotten he'd even missed it…until now, of course—and he'd love to have it back. “Hey Gar, y'know…”

 

“What?” answered his cousin, until he was distracted only a second later by the start of a new song. “Dude, it's `The Battle of Who Could Care Less'! This song's, like, pretty much about you, Matt!” The changeling began a dorky little dance, poking his arms back and forth. “This always makes me remember all the cool crap we did when we were kids.”

 

Matt hesitantly smiled. “Yeah, it's great.” He'd really wanted that album back, but it meant so much to Gar. More than it ever did to Matt. He couldn't hurt his cousin like that—no way. So instead, he changed the subject. “C'mon cuz, let's go get some lunch. I'm freaking starving!”

 

Beast Boy just raised an eyebrow. “Jeez, how can you still be hungry?!” Matt just shrugged and laughed as the door slid open before him. “Seriously! Dude, get back here! I gotta know your secret!”

 

***LIVING ROOM***

“Aw come on! That ain't fair!” An X-Box controller dangled limply in the robotic hands of the despondent Victor Stone. “How did you get this good at video games?!”

 

The half-robot's opponent smiled. “They're very similar to the battle simulations on Ryglar 7,” Komand'r said smugly. “I always defeated everybody on those too.”

 

Cyborg: “Did you gloat about it to all of them, too?”

 

“It is okay, Vic. You fought valiantly,” comforted Starfire. “And big sister, you too did an excellent job.”

 

“Why thank you, little sister,” the older Tamaranian replied. “Would you like to challenge me next?”

 

Koriand'r took a step back. “Um, no thank you.”

 

Starfire: “Unlike Komand'r I have never been to Ryglar 7…in fact I have never traveled beyond my home planet—at least I had not until I came to Earth. And since I arrived here I have had…little time to learn how to play these games. I suppose I was distracted by my feelings for Dick. Oh well, now I shall have plenty of time for playing games.”

 

“Oh, but of course,” Komand'r said with a condescending chuckle. “Wouldn't want you humiliating yourself.”

 

Suddenly Cyborg felt himself being pulled out of his seat by a pair of furry green arms. Leaping into the air, the gorilla responsible for this shrunk into a young boy in a purple and black costume. “I'm next, then!” exclaimed Beast Boy as he landed perfectly, the controller falling into his hands ready to go.

 

“I call winner!” exclaimed the tiny Titan's cousin as he again leapt over the back of the couch, lying on his stomach with his feet dangling in the air.

 

Starfire: “If human anatomy is anything like that of Tamaranians, then that cannot be good for his posture!”

 

Smiling as a competitive spark came to life in her eye, Komand'r taunted, “Bring it on!” The misplaced Cyborg, meanwhile, inched towards the kitchen, watching the game with one eye while watching where he was going with the other. Leaning against the wall besides the kitchen door was Wally West, a bitter Titan composed solely of speed energy.

 

“Man she's a b----,” growled Speed as his teammate came close.

 

“Komand'r?” Receiving a nod from his disgruntled teammate, Vic thought for a second. “I guess she gloats a lot and stuff, but she's not any worse than Donna.”

 

Wally laughed. “Yeah, but she's a b---- too.”

 

Cyborg: “Humph. Acting like that, he don't have much room to talk.”

 

“I thought you were giving us second chances?” asked Victor.

 

“Komand'r's still on her first,” said Speed, “And Donna doesn't deserve a second chance.”

 

Cyborg sighed. “I don't think that's the point of second chances…”

 

Gaining the upper hand over her green opponent, Komand'r cackled in glee. “Jeez,” growled Wally, “How can her and Kory even be sisters?”

 

Speed: “I mean, Kory is sweet and humble, almost the exact opposite of Komand'r! Kory was the only one happy to see me come back to the team!”

 

Shrugging, Vic countered, “Well, how can Gar and Matt be cousins?”

 

Wally started to smile slightly. “True, I'll give you that one, but Matt's hardly as bad as Komand'r. I'll take his stupidity over her arrogance any day.”

 

Vic wasn't so sure. “Yeah, but she's not corrupting anybody.”

 

Cyborg: “All Matt's doing is dragging Gar into bad situations he shouldn't have to deal with yet. Matt doesn't care about Gar, he's just using him!”

 

“And growing up with Komand'r didn't corrupt Kory,” Speed countered. Cyborg grumbled a bit and started to turn away from his teammate, eliciting a small chuckle from the speed specter. “You really don't like Matt, do you?”

 

Sighing, Victor stopped in his tracks as his electronic eye started to glow blue, recalling evidence he'd found earlier.

 

Cyborg: “I was hopin' to wait till Donna got back to show her this, but Wally seems good `nuff to bounce this off of as anybody…even if he agrees with me he'll play Devil's Advocate anyway.”

 

“Something about Matt's story just wasn't addin' up to me,” the machine-man began, “So I did some digging into his records. Turns out Matt hasn't paid his rent in two months—his landlord tossed most of his junk out onto the street last month and he never even came by to pick it up!”

 

“So you think Matt's using Gar for a place to stay?” Wally stroked his chin. “I dunno man, that just doesn't sound right. I didn't think the guy was smart enough for anything like that.”

 

Cyborg grunted. “It makes perfect sense to me,” he said sternly, crossing his arms. “Just have to figure out how to let Gar in on it.”

 

Cyborg: “It ain't gonna be easy to break the poor kid's heart like that. Back when I just thought Matt was an inconvenience to the rest of us I wasn't gonna, but now I have to…”

 

“Don't,” growled Wally, finally pushing himself off of the wall and turning to face his half-metal teammate. “Even if it's true he's not going to believe you anyway. You should stay out of his business.”

 

“But what kind of friend am I if I don't try to help him?”

 

Cyborg: “I mean, that's why I joined up for this show in the first place: to help people! What's the point if I can't help out my best friend?”

 

Speed wasn't satisfied with this line of reasoning. “Well what kind of friend are you if you go snooping in his business like that just `cause you don't like his cousin?” Wishing for the fifty trillionth time he had his human body—this time so he could spit in disgust—he continued, “Stop trying to be everybody's mother, Vic.”

 

Speed: “Having one mom's bad enough. Definitely don't need another.”

 

“Awwwwwwww man!” Beast Boy's controller fell to the floor, the green boy too downhearted to maintain his grip. “No way! You had to cheat!”

 

Beast Boy: “I can't believe I lost to a girl! Matt'll never let me hear the end of it!”

 

“Dude,” Matt snickered as he pushed his cousin aside, “I can't believe you lost to a girl.”

 

Beast Boy: “Told ya…”

 

Smirking, Komand'r inquired, “So, you think you can do better, little man?”

 

“You bet,” smiled Matt as he licked his lips and gripped the controller tight. “I'm the highest ranked player for this game on all of X-Box Live!”

 

“Really?” Gar asked excitedly.

 

Grumbling, Matt replied, “Okay, second, but I swear that Supernova guy is doing something weird to be able to play as much as he does.”

 

As the two set their preferences and pressed `start', the door to the room flew open. Wonder Girl marched in angrily, followed by Robin clothed only in his underwear.

 

“I swear Dick, if you ever touch me like that again I'll beat you senseless!”

 

“C'mon Donna, it's not like I had many places to hold on to!” Unable to help himself, the acrobat chuckled. “Besides, that's not your style anyway.”

 

Wonder Girl: “I should have tied him up with my lasso and drug him behind me.”

 

“Dick!” exclaimed Starfire, rushing to Robin's side. “I am glad to see that yo—”

 

Suddenly she stopped in mid-sentence, her face flushed as she realized what she was doing.

 

Starfire: “Oh, how can I still have feelings for him? He will only hurt me again! I cannot open myself up to that sort of humiliation!”

 

“It is good to see you are unharmed,” said the Tamaranian softly as she stormed off into the kitchen.

 

“Duuuude,” marveled Garfield as he approached the others, “She's pissed!”

 

With a sigh Dick muttered sarcastically, “Yeah, thanks Gar. I didn't notice that.”

 

Robin: “I can't believe I hurt her that bad! I mean, what kind of planet can Tamaran be if people don't flirt?! Jeez, I'm really going to have to do something to make this up to her…I can't let such a sweet little hottie be upset, after all!”

 

The arrival of the two Titans and the attention they drew left Matt and Komand'r alone, out of earshot. It was the perfect time for Komand'r to make her move. She'd been one-upping her little sister and putting down her little sister ever since she'd arrived, but it was time for the final act. All her life she'd taken everything Koriand'r ever loved. She wasn't going to stop now!

 

“Tell me, Matt,” the Tamaranian said deviously, not missing a beat on the game, “Has my little sister found anybody special on this planet yet?”

 

“You mean like a boyfriend?” asked the slacker. Already gears were starting to turn in his head.

 

“Exactly!” she exclaimed, her smile broadening across her entire face. “Has she?”

 

“Yeah,” said Matt slowly, thinking for a second, but only a second before he made up his mind and continued. “You're talkin' to him!”

 

Inside his head Matt Logan was laughing hysterically. If he could pull this off, then it would be the greatest prank in the history of pranks!

 

Komand'r, meanwhile, just raised an eyebrow. She was stunned. Her little sister would go after a boy like this?! However, as she thought about it, it all started to make sense. Despite everything she'd ever done to Starfire, she never noticed his devious her big sister really was—she was likely oblivious to this boy's stupidity as well. Plus, she was dancing with him when she first looked through the skylight before ordering the Gordanians to attack back at Warriors!

 

Fine then, she thought. This just made her plan even easier.

 

“Man, Gar was right!” Matt said, nearly crying as his loss popped up on screen. “You really are cheating!”

 

“No,” began Komand'r as she slowly walked in front of the boy. “But I suppose I did distract you.” Leaning down so her cleavage was in the horndog's face, she took his hand and pulled him to his feet. “Let me make it up to you.”

 

Nearly drooling, Matt somehow managed to stutter out a, “Y-you bet!” as she dragged him, unnoticed, out of the room.

 

Their antics, meanwhile, we're unnoticed because the other Titans were far too busy interrogating Robin.

 

“You know,” began Donna, “You never did tell me what happened anyway.”

 

Robin: “Well yeah, I was trying to get out of that.”

 

“Fine,” the acrobat began as he buried his face in his palm. “Batgirl snuck into my room, no doubt to get my autograph or something, and when I chased her out Batman ambushed me, tricked me into training a little look-alike, and left me on a roof by myself.”

 

“Sure,” laughed Beast Boy, “Good job trying to cover it up, but to me it sounds like you got beat by a girl!”

 

Beast Boy: “Of course, so did I, but this totally distracts everybody else from that.”

 

“Yeah, and I really don't care,” growled Speed. “Listen up, circus boy. Before you tell any more stories, you need to put on some freaking pants!”

 

***A LITTLE LATER***

Victor Stone's stare was more resolutely glued to the television screen than it ever had been before.

 

Cyborg: “These things have always just been a hobby, but if I'm ever gonna beat Komand'r then I'd better lay off my tech for a few days and practice up a bit!”

 

“Can't that wait, Vic?” Donna Troy tapped the Titan on the shoulder, and as he paused the game and looked back at her she handed him a broom. “Kyle and J'onn are going to be here in less than an hour and—thanks to Dick—I've already wasted the entire morning! We need to clean fast!”

 

Laughing, Robin—now fully clothed in his costume—asked, “What, the great Kyle Rayner's never seen any dirt before?”

 

Robin: “If he even notices this place is dirty, then he's an even bigger loser than I thought!”

 

Wonder Girl: “Hera, does Dick know how to push my buttons…”

 

“Look, just because I take a little pride in my surroundings doesn't give you the right to laugh at me,” grumbled the Amazon as she shoved a mop into his hands. “Help out for once.”

 

Wonder Girl: “All I want is for everything to be perfect for my boyfriend. Is that too much to ask?”

 

Emerging from the kitchen, Starfire grabbed the vacuum from besides Donna. “I will gladly help you,” the alien said with a sweet smile. “If we do not take care of the tower then it could become uninhabitable!”

 

Starfire: “Wow, these…vacuums…remind me of the `Arkphances' back home on Tamaran! Except, we used them to transport luggage, not dirt!”

 

Suddenly a door slid open, and the four Titans were greeted by Gar's loud cry. “Yo, has anybody seen Matt around? He's not in the kitchen or my room!”

 

Beast Boy: “And where else would he be?”

 

“Come to think of it,” mused Koriand'r, “I have not seen my big sister in quite some time either.”

 

“Could they be together?” asked Vic, though after thinking for a second he shook his head. “Nah.”

 

However, the Titans had no further time to ponder the answer to this question as black exploded in the middle of the living room, growing into a large bird-shaped creature of darkness before disappearing entirely, leaving just Raven, hunched over as if in intense pain!

 

“Raven!” cried Wally. The speed specter had been hiding in his immaterial form, trying to avoid Wonder Girl's chores like the plague, but he couldn't stand by as the girl he loved was in pain! Dashing forward, the energy that formed his `body' hardened into a solid shell, and he caught Raven before she hit the ground.

 

Speed: “Dammit Raven, you can't let anything happen to you! Not when I love you! Not until you return my feelings! You just can't!”

 

“Raven, are you okay?! Speak to me!” Pushing her way from her suitor's arms, the girl started to come to her senses.

 

“I am…fine, Speed,” she began. “I am simply…overwhelmed.”

 

Raven: “As an empath, the pains, joys, fears, the very emotions of others become mine to feel as well. The emotions I am now feeling are intense, almost primal. I cannot even determine what they are they are so overwhelming, so painful! I have never experienced anything like it.”

 

Rushing to their teammate's side, the Titans were confused. “Overwhelming?” asked Donna. “Nothing that intense was going on in here!”

 

“Apparently not,” continued the empath. “The emotions I feel are so intense I cannot even determine whether they are overwhelmingly joyful or painful, or even where they come from. Since people are most often here in the living room I assumed I would find answers here, but since they are not…”

 

Needing no more information, Gar's eyes grew big. “Matt!”

 

Starfire had the same response. “Komand'r!”

 

“I'm on it!” exclaimed Speed as he dashed down the hallway.

 

Speed: “Okay, Gar said they weren't in his room so they must be in Komand'r's guest room. The sooner I take care of this, the sooner Raven stops hurting!”

 

Almost instantly Wally was at her door, and as he pressed the button to open it he discovered it was locked. Fortunately, this wasn't a problem for him as golden energy wafted from his hand and into the control panel, adding speed until the panel's machinery could no longer keep up. As the panel exploded the doors slid open, but Wally West definitely wasn't prepared for what he found behind them. “Christ!”

 

The other Titans were right behind him, and they were just as shocked. Even the supposedly emotionless Raven was taken aback, her eyes wide.

 

Raven: “Yes, I suppose that would be overwhelming enough to be what I felt…”

 

“Hera!”

 

“Damn!”

 

“Big sister, what's going on here?!”

 

His jaw dropped, Garfield Logan had nothing to say but, “Matt?!”

 

Matt lay flat on his back on Komand'r's bed, with the alien laying overtop of him. Mangled sheets covered them both, though the alien's legs dangled down the side of the bed and past the sheets' reach. “What does it look like we're doing?” Komand'r asked as she looked at the Titans slyly. Matt, meanwhile, had a look of pure joy and rapture on his face.

 

“Check it out, cuz!” he exclaimed.

 

“Holy f---ing s---!” Dick gasped. “Matt got laid!”

 

Next time: Relative Chaos!

 

OOC: Hope you guys enjoyed it! Sorry if it was a bit self-indulgent at times, I admit that I only included Batgirl because I'm a fan, but Gar's CD is something that's going to come back up eventually, and I didn't just choose the particular band because I like them (though I do highly recommend Ben Folds Five ;-) ), but because they're definitely a band Gar would like too. Well, until next time, when the Komand'r storyline draws to a close!