Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Fan Fiction ❯ Bad Places II: Rebirth ❯ Chapter 11

Part 11

When Raphael came back to the sick room to take his next shift, he stopped halfway through the door in surprise. Curled up against Leonardo, Mike drowsed on his elder brother's good shoulder while holding his uninjured hand. Both of them lay nestled together up against the pillows, though the blankets were pulled up over Leo while Mike lay on top of them.

Quietly Raph closed the door and walked over, placing his hand on Mike's shoulder. His brother blinked a few times and looked up, then looked back at Leo to make sure he was still asleep. With a deep breath, Mike stretched and sat up. "Sorry, didn't think I'd fall asleep," he whispered.

"You okay?" Raph asked, careful to keep his voice low.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I just..." Mike shrugged and nodded once at Leo. "He was having nightmares. Bad ones, y'know? I was gonna try and wake him up, but the moment I touched him, he settled back down again. So I just kinda sat holding his hand, but after awhile I got sore of leaning over and sat down next to him. Guess I dozed off. What time is it?"

"Seven. Time for me to take over. Go get some sleep," Raph said, then added "real sleep, not your usual napping in front of the tv."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Mike stood up slowly, trying not to wake his brother, and slipped by Raphael. He paused at the door. "Hey, um, Raph? I kinda accidentally let him know about the farm. I swear, I thought you told him--"

"It's all right," Raph said, waving him down. "I was gonna tell him anyway. How'd he take it?"

"Good, once he realized we were all going and that we weren't gonna just drop him off."

"Geez..." Raphael sighed. "He doesn't think very highly of us, does he?"

Mike hesitated, stifling a yawn. "Or himself."

"Mm." Raph nodded once. More likely that. "I'll talk to him. Go on, you're dead on yer feet."

Once Mike left and the room was quiet again, Raphael sat down on the bed facing his sibling. After a few seconds, Leonardo noticed the change and woke up, sitting straight and pushing the blankets down a few inches. "Mike?"

"Just me," Raph said. "He fell asleep, so I sent him to bed."

"Oh." Leo lay back against the pillows and didn't move. Raph would've thought he'd gone back to sleep, but Leo's breathing didn't change. Raph waited for him to drift off, but as the minutes went by and Leo merely sat still, he figured his brother wasn't going back to sleep.

"What were you dreaming about?"

Probably the wrong thing to ask, judging from the way his brother subtly drew back into himself, lowering his head and pulling the blanket a little closer. He wondered if Leo knew he was watching him, or if he didn't even think about it. With such a rare look on his face, troubled instead of confident, Raphael could only guess what his brother was thinking. "Was it the game?"

"No," Leo said softly. He didn't elaborate.

Hoping he didn't set off Leo's temper, Raph pushed. "Something in the tower?"

"Kind of."

This is gonna be like pulling teeth, Raph thought. There was no way Leo felt guilt for killing all the foot, so it had to be something closer to home. "It's what you hallucinated, ain't it?"

"Raph...I don't...I don't want to talk about it."

"The last time you bottled everything up, you broke down and ran away from home. You tried to commit suicide--"

"That's not fair," Leo whispered, curling up. "I did say something. No one listened."

Raph kicked himself. Even when he tried to go easy on his older brother, he said the wrong thing. He touched Leo's hand like Mike had done before. "I'm listening now."

For a few moments he thought that Leo wouldn't say anything, but slowly he started, gripping Raph's hand as he spoke.

"It was..." His voice died, but he steeled himself and tried again. "In the tower, there was a moment when I gave myself over to the thing inside me. I thought you were dead. I thought I heard you die, and I couldn't..." He paused, catching his breath and holding Raph's hand a little tighter. "I attacked Saki like an animal. And for awhile I drove him back but...he managed to tear my mask off. The light blinded me and the pain brought me back, but I couldn't fight. I was so overwhelmed by how I'd failed you."

He stopped there. After a few seconds Raphael realized that was the nightmare, the sense of failure. He held silent. His understanding of Leonardo's burdened sense of responsibility had deepened enough so that he didn't question his brother's feeling, only how he might have handled it himself. He didn't like the answer he came up with.

"You didn't fail us," Raph whispered. "Not at all."

"It felt so real..." Leo said. "I heard you screaming and I couldn't get to you. All of you died and I couldn't get to you."

"No, we didn't," Raph said, leaning closer. "We're alive. It's all okay now."

"Is it?" Leo asked. His voice sounded ragged, as if he'd been running for along time. "I keep thinking what if this is just me going insane, and I'm still inside the tower, dying. Or..."

Raph waited, but Leo didn't continue. He felt mean for forcing him to go on. "Or...?"

"Sometimes I wonder if I'm still in the game," Leo said softly. "If I missed Mike's hand and fell back in the well, and that I'm just dreaming this."

"Leo..." Raph bit down on his frustration so it wouldn't show, but how was he supposed to know his brother was hurting like this if he kept hiding it? Maybe he'd been too easy on him, letting him retreat into his room when he seemed to need quiet time when really he was falling further in psychosis and fear. He should've dragged him out, made him train, kept him company at least, even if he didn't want it.

Wow. No wonder Leo had been something of a mother hen before.

"Leo, it's not a dream. You're really here." When he didn't get a response, he sighed and looked down. "How long have you thinking this?"

"...since you brought me back."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"...what if I said it, and saying it made me wake up?"

There was nothing he could say to answer that, so Raphael just sat down against his brother's side like Michelangelo had done, holding him against the nightmares and resolving that they would leave for the farm the next day.

When Raphael finally snuck out, leaving his sibling in a dreamless sleep, he spotted his family in front of the television and decided to try the decisive leader approach. He simply told his brothers that they were going to the farm tomorrow, be packed and ready and hey, Master Splinter, we'll be back within a month hopefully.

"Are you insane?" Don asked in a harsh whisper, the television forgotten. "It hasn't even been a week. He's in no condition to move--"

"Even light activity could tear his stitches," Splinter said. "The exertion could further weaken his system--"

"And it's biting cold," Don said, "worse than before. If we take him out now he could get pneumonia. Heck, we all could! You know we can't handle cold weather as well as humans--"

"Keep your voice down," Splinter reminded him, and Raphael used that to slip into the conversation.

"I know all'a that, okay?" he glanced over his shoulder as if Leo might peek out from behind the door. "Look, I'd like to keep him here for awhile longer, too, but we have to get him out of the lair."

"Raph--"

"We have to. He's going crazy here. Okay, slowly, but still."

"Crazy?" Don's eyes widened as he realized Raph was serious. "But why? He's home."

"Yeah, home." And while he didn't want to reveal his brother's thoughts, he could still explain a little of his reasoning. "Look, be quiet for a second and just listen."

Don and Splinter shared a look but fell silent. Expecting Raphael to launch into a Leo-esque lecture about how he was right and they were wrong, they looked at each other in confusion when he didn't say anything. The awkward silence stretched out and when Donatello opened his mouth, Raph raised one hand to shush him. At first the lair seemed quiet, but gradually they became aware of the small stream flowing by, heard the drip of the kitchen sink and couple of leaks overhead, and the water rushing through the pipes in the walls. Now that they were forced to listen, the noise became distracting.

"Hear that?" Raph whispered. "We're so used to it we tune it out, but imagine what it's like for him. His hearing's like ten times better'n ours. He can't sleep right, he can't even think straight. After everything he's been through, he's turning into a basket case and it's only gonna get worse here." He stared at them for a few seconds, assuring himself that he'd won. "We're leaving tomorrow afternoon. We'll drive through the night and get there well before sunrise. Pack light."

Splinter was silent, but Donatello glared at him. "I still think it's a bad idea."

"Duly noted," Raph said dryly. Who cared what they thought? They were going. He turned towards the practice room but froze halfway there.

Did he really not mind that Donatello was upset as long as what needed to get done happened? And now he was thinking about running few a through katas to settle his thoughts. He groaned and walked inside anyway.

"Leo's got to take this job back," he muttered to himself. "Or else I'm gonna turn into him."

Dreamless sleep left Leonardo disoriented every time he woke up, but someone poking at his injured hand made the disorientation even worse. He flinched and shied away before he was completely awake.

"Sorry," Don said, though he didn't sound sorry. "Didn't mean to wake you."

"S'all right." He pushed himself up a few more inches so that he was sitting properly and took a wonderfully deep breath. Sitting up while sleeping definitely helped. "Just go easy, will ya? It still hurts."

"Do you need any more pain killers?" Don interrupted him before he could answer. "Dumb question. Of course you do, you just never bother to ask."

Leo listened to his brother move around the room, riffling through boxes and containers and grumbling too low to make out the words. This had to be the worst part of being sick, putting demands on his siblings who were already tired and worn out from his previous failures.

"...stupid Raphael..."

Wait. Leo tilted his head. Stupid Raphael? Not stupid Leonardo? "Don, are you all right?"

"Yeah, fine." Don plopped back in the chair beside the bed and filled a hypodermic needle. "Here, gimme your hand."

An upset Donatello with a needle scared him more than the game. Leo winced. "Why?"

"'Cause your pain meds come in the form of injections, duh," Don said irritably. "Now c'mon."

"No, I meant..." As fast as he could, Leo grabbed the edge of his blanket and held it a little higher like a shield. He didn't want to yell for help, but it didn't seem like he'd have much choice. "Don, could we wait until you're not in such a bad mood--?"

"You took like three stab wounds and didn't whine," Don said. "It's just a needle."

"It still hurts. A knife doesn't inject anything."

"Leo--"

"I'm sorry," he suddenly said, unable to stop himself. "I didn't mean to 'cause all this trouble, and you know I'm grateful for everything you've done, but I don't know what I did this time and I'm sorry Don, but I really hate shots and it's always worse when you're in a bad mood."

Donatello froze, startled by his brother's outburst. Half of what Leonardo said he didn't understand since he said it too fast, but Donatello understood the gist of it. He glanced at the needle in his hand and sighed. Everyone complained about getting shots, but Leo's heightened senses would make it next to torture, especially if he did it right now. Don set the needle down.

"I'm sorry," he said softly. "I didn't mean to do that. It's just...your brother," he growled, getting angry again.

"Raphael, I take it?" Leo lowered the blanket and relaxed. "What'd he do this time?"

Called you crazy and wants to freeze us all to death, Don thought. "He says we're going up to the farm tomorrow."

"So soon?" Leo turned that over in his head. Mike had said as soon as he was fit to travel, but he'd expected a few more days at least, even a week.

"Yup. Before you're even out of bed and while it's still snowing up there. It's about half a mile to the warehouse and I'm not sure you can make it. And who knows how we'll manage on the roads. At least the ice'll mean we probably won't see any cops, but if we crash--" His voice trailed off as he noticed his brother shaking and holding back laughter. "What's so funny?"

As nervous as the impeding move made him, Leonardo couldn't help laughing. "You. All of you. You used to complain about me worrying all the time, but now you sound worse."

"Yeah, well..." Don grumbled to himself again. "At least I understand why you argue with Raph. This is so boneheaded..."

"It'll be all right." Walking to the van would be the hardest part, but he'd probably sleep on the road, so that wasn't too bad. He shifted again and winced as he pulled a torn muscle. For a moment he hoped his brother hadn't noticed, but of course he had.

"Okay," Don said, "you need this and I'm in a much better mood. Gimme your hand."

Steeling himself, Leo stretched out his right arm and winced as the needle sank in. The pain medication being pushed in burned even worse.

"I'll have to change all the bandages before we go," Don said. "Especially on your shoulder. You know, you're really lucky that cut went with the muscle. If it had gone across, you probably wouldn't move that arm again."

"Then I'd just take up Zatoichi's style," Leo said.

"Zatoichi?" Don finished up and put the hypodermic aside. "That an obscure swordsman?"

"Kind of," Leo said. "He's a one-armed samurai that defeated hundreds of enemies."

Donatello groaned, vaguely remembering the only movies he and Raphael could agree to watch civilly. "Leo, bad seventies kung-fu flicks do not count as styles."

"But he was really good--"

"Leo..."

"You should've seen the part where he crosses the bridge--"

"Shut up and go to sleep."

TBC...