Tekken Fan Fiction ❯ Kazuya Knows Best ❯ In This Chapter, Everyone Dies! ( Chapter 10 )

(Kazuya and Jun are in the living room)

Kazuya: (reading the newspaper) ......heh, heh...

Jun: Are you reading the comics, Kazuya?

Kazuya: No, the obituaries.

(audience laughs)

Jun: That reminds me, I met someone the other day who needed a place to stay for a while.

Kazuya: (still reading the paper) Yeah, that sounds nice.

Jun: I told him he could stay here for a few days.

Kazuya: What?! Damn it, Jun, what have I told you about helping people?

Jun: But he seems really nice, and he's got a great personality, I'm sure you'll like him when you get to know him.

Kazuya: Jun, I don't like anyone. I hate you, and I've known you for years. And that boy. I swear I just want to wrap my hands around his scrawny little neck, that useless waste of sper-

(doorbell rings)

Jun: Oh, that must be him.

(Jun opens the door)

Ogre: .....

Kazuya: .....

Ogre: .....

Kazuya: ...... (to Jun) Where the hell did you meet this guy?

Jun: At the cemetary when I was attending a friend's funeral, I think he works as a gravedigger.

Kazuya: Yeah, as in he digs up graves, probably a freakin' necro...

(audience laughs)

Jun: Would you like to come in?

Ogre: ...... (steps inside)

Jun: Make yourself comfortable.

Ogre: ..... (sits in Kazuya's chair)

Kazuya: Hey, not in my-

(Ogre looks at Kazuya)

Kazuya: ....heh....go right ahead.

Jun: So, do you have any family?

Ogre: .....

Kazuya: .....huh....

Ogre: .....

Kazuya: .....

(Jun smiles)

Ogre: .....

Kazuya: .....

Ogre: .....

Kazuya: ......

(Ogre looks at Kazuya)

Kazuya: .....

(doorbell rings)

Kazuya: I'll get it!

(Kazuya opens the door)

King: Hello, I'm visiting people today to collect for children whose parents have been thrown off cliffs.

Kazuya: Hey, uh, that sounds great, I mean, I just love to help those little brats!

King: ........really?

Kazuya: Yeah, sure, I'll just...just go get my wallet, in the other room. Jun, could you help me go get it?

Jun: Your wallet?

Kazuya: Just come with me!

(Kazuya and Jun leave)

King: ...okay then. I'll just wait right here.

Ogre: (stares at King) ......

King: ......

(in the other room)

Kazuya: I want that freak out of my house, Jun!

Jun: Why would you want him to leave?

Kazuya: Because when you're around guys like that, they usually find parts of you lying around!

Jun: What do you mean?

Kazuya: The guy's obviously some kind of freakin' sociapath, that's why you found him at the cemetary, he probably put most of those people there!

Jun: Don't be silly, I think he's very enjoyable to be with.

Kazuya: I'm tellin' ya, Jun, if he stays here, we'll probably be getting our remains stuffed into those little evidence bags by some cheesy Hong Kong cop.

Jun: Just give him a chance, I'm sure you'll find there's a lot to like about him.

(Jun and Kazuya return to the living room)

Jun: Where did King go?

Ogre: ..... (shrugs)

Kazuya: ........Jun? Could I have another talk with you?

Jun: Later, Kazuya.

(doorbell rings)

Jun: Oh, Baek's here!

Kazuya: Doo San? What's he doing over here?

Jun: I invited him over for dinner tonight, I knew you wouldn't mind.

Kazuya: (under his breath) You obviously don't know much about me, Jun, if you did, you wouldn't sleep with both eyes closed at night.

(Jun opens the door)

Baek: Hello, Jun. I hope it isn't a problem, but I brought a student of mine with me.

Hwoarang: Hey, Mrs. K'!

(audience cheers)

Baek: I'm afraid I caught him smoking a Mr. J', and I'd like to keep a close eye on him.

Jun: It's no trouble, we love company!

Kazuya: ...oh, I agree. (under his breath) In fact, right now I'd like to accompany your throat with a blunt knife.

(at the dinner table)

Jun: Ogre, would you like to say grace?

Ogre: ..... (clears throat) ................................

Jun: That was beautiful!

Hwoarang: Hey, Mrs. K', you got any beer?

Jun: Kazuya has some, I suppose...

Baek: Hwoarang, you're too young to be drinking alcohol.

Hwoarang: I'm gonna go get a beer. (heads to the kitchen)

Kazuya: ......hey, stay outta my stash! (chases after him)

Baek: This food is delicious, you're a wonderful cook!

Jun: Thank you, are you enjoying your meal too, Ogre?

Ogre: (consumes the soul of his porkchop)

(Kazuya returns with a severely beaten Hwoarang)

Jun: Hwoarang, what happened to you?

Hwoarang: ....I.......I.......

Kazuya: HE FELL. Ain't that right, boy?

Hwoarang: ...yeah. Yeah, I fell.

Baek: Well, eat your dinner before it gets cold, Jun went to a lot of trouble to make this.

(Kazuya and Hwoarang sit down)

Kazuya: So, uh, Beak, I heard you got...

(Ogre looks at Kazuya)

Kazuya: .....

(doorbell rings)

Jun: I'll get it.

Kazuya: No, uh, let's both get it!

(Kazuya and Jun leave)

Ogre: (stares at Baek) .....

Baek: .....

(Kazuya opens the door)

King: Good evening, sir.

Kazuya: You again? Weren't you just here earlier?

King: I'm King II, I was wondering if King I had come by here.

Kazuya: ....no, never saw him.

King: But you just said-

(Kazuya slams the door on King)

Kazuya: Interrupting a man's dinner, I can't believe how rude some people are.

(Kazuya and Jun return to the dining room)

Jun: Where's Baek?

Ogre: (looks around) ....... (acts surprised)

Jun: Hwoarang, what happened?

Hwoarang: (shivering) .....I'm......I'm gonna go home...

Jun: That was strange.

Kazuya: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy...

(doorbell rings)

Kazuya: Now who is it?

(Kazuya opens the door)

Heihachi: (accompanied by a dozen Tekken Force soldiers) Hello, Kazuya, if you don't mind my asking, do you have anyone over here tonight?

Kazuya: I do mind, actually, so why don't you take your nazi brigade elsewhere?

Heihachi: ......hah, hah! Very funny, my son. A spy, I mean, friend of mine told me he saw a green man come in here, if I could just have a word with him...

Kazuya: Get lost! (slams the door on Heihachi)

(Kazuya returns to the dining room)

Kazuya: ........uh..........where............where's Jun?

Ogre: ......

Kazuya: (notices something on Ogre's hands) ....is that blood?

Ogre: (stares at Kazuya) .....

Kazuya: ...............ah, crap......

*End Of Chapter 9*

I got the inspiration for this story from the fact that Ogre pretty much killed half the cast of Tekken 2. 3, actually, but for a fighting game villain, that has to be a record. Kazuya fans should look forward to next chapter. Of course this story already stars Kazuya, so that probably doesn't make much sense right now.