Tekken Fan Fiction ❯ Private Fury ❯ Skip This Chapter ( Chapter 15 )

Lei: Bryan, could you come in here?

 

(Bryan enters)

 

Bryan: You know, I think we're starting way too many chapters like this...

 

Lei: ...really? I admit we may have done it once or twice, but-

 

Bryan: And I suppose now you're going to introduce me to someone I'm going to be working with.

 

Lei: .......no......of course not....

 

Bryan: What, then?

Lei: I called you in here to introduce you to....uh......TWO people you're going to be working with.

 

Bryan: ...what the hell's the difference?

Lei: There's a difference.

 

Bryan: How the f.......never mind.....just....who the hell are they?

 

Lei: ....they're right over there.

 

(Lei points to the two men standing right next to Bryan)

 

Lei: This is Sergeant-

 

Bryan: I know who he is! Mr. Snipes, I'm such a huge fa-

 

Raven: That's not my name. You must be confused.

 

Bryan: ....but you look just like that guy in Bla-

 

Raven: I'M NOT HIM.

 

Bryan: ....alright. You're not him. (to himself) I heard he was a lot nicer to his fans...

 

Lei: And this is Sergeant Nightmare.

 

Nightmare: My soul is pleased to meet you!

 

Bryan: You're that guy with the claw, aren't you?

 

Nightmare: Claw? You vile soul, this is not a claw! It is an appendage I have grown during my quest to collect more souls!

 

Bryan: That's great. You can never have enough souls.

 

Nightmare: Do you dare mock my mighty soul, and it's quest for more souls? I shall consume your soul!

Bryan: ....okay. Hey, didn't you use to have a big-ass sword?

Nightmare: I SOULED it.

 

(audience laughs)

Nightmare: What in the name of souly hell was that?

 

Bryan: That's just the laugh track.

 

Nightmare: How dare these pitiful souls laugh at the power of my soul, I shall reave their souls, then after their souls have been thusly reaven, these soul-less entities shall descend into the realms of hell, where they shall wander without soul, waiting to gain a soul, yet they shall for eternity be without sou-

 

Bryan: You know, that's starting to get REALLY old.

 

Lei: Bryan, do you remember Boskonovitch?

 

Bryan: Who?

 

Lei: Dr. Boskonovitch, the scientist who worked on the base?

 

Bryan: Doesn't sound familiar...

 

Lei: He was the one who was going to experiment on you...

 

Bryan: I think I......no.........never heard of him.

 

Lei: It was the chapter with the dead hooker.

 

Bryan: Oh! That one!

 

Lei: .....that's right. Anyway, as I'm sure you can recall, he was able to escape, but we've recently discovered that he shall be meeting with professional boxer Steve Fox at the Union Jack Hotel today at 3:00, and I want you three to take him into custody.

 

Bryan: The three of us? Seems a little excessive for just an old man, doesn't it?

 

Lei: Don't underestimate him, Bryan, he's one of the most brilliant minds in the world.

 

Bryan: Didn't you tell me he used to experiment on Kangaroos in order to teach them to box?

 

Lei: Yes, but not just Kangaroos, but a variety of animals, he seemed to have some sort of an obsession with boxing. You should be careful, if any of those creatures is with him, they could prove dangerous.

 

Bryan: Do you think after being brought back from the dead that I'm going to be afraid of some rodent wearing boxing gloves? (leaves Lei's office, followed by Nightmare)

 

Raven: Brought back from the dead...? (follows Bryan outside)

Bryan: GODDAMNIT, YOU PUT A STAKE IN MY HEAD!

 

(in Bryan's car)

 

Raven: Shouldn't we be heading to the hotel?

 

Bryan: We should get something to eat first, we still have time.

 

Raven: We were supposed to be there at 3:00. It's 3:06.

 

Bryan: (ignoring him) We still have time.

 

Raven: We had time. 6 minutes ago.

 

Bryan: Shit, you take things too seriously, this world's boring enough without over-obsessive workaholics like you in it.

 

Raven: You better wake up. The world you live in is nothing but a sugarcoated topping. There is another world beneath it, the real world.

 

Bryan: ....are you sure you're not him? Because I'm pretty sure I remember you saying that line in Bl-

 

Raven: THAT'S NOT ME.

 

(Nightmare pulls into the drive-through of a Mexican restaurant. That's right. Just because he lived centuries ago doesn't mean Nightmare can't drive)

 

Employee: Recepción a México De Marshall, ¿puedo tomar su orden?

 

Nightmare: My soul desires 2 beef burritos, 3 fajitas, and a chicken enchilada. But no lettuce, should I find one shred of lettuce, your soul shall be-

 

Bryan: Just drive.

 

(at the Union Jack Hotel, in Steve Fox's room)

 

(someone knocks on the door)

 

Steve: Who's there?

Voice: Roar.

 

Steve: ...what the 'ell? (opens the door)

 

(Steve sees a dinosaur. Wearing boxing gloves)

 

Steve: BLIMEY!

 

Alex: (gives Steve a letter it's holding, which is hard to do when you're wearing boxing gloves)

 

Note: Plans have changed, they've found out I was coming here, meet me at the Mishima Lab.

 

(About half an hour later, outside the Union Jack Hotel)

 

Random fan who has no life: OH MY GOD, IT'S WESLEY SN- (is killed by Raven)

 

Bryan: Alright, we're a little behind, but-

 

Raven: It's 3:32. We were supposed to be here at 3:00.

 

Bryan: ....we're a LITTLE behind, but we- (notices a man who looks like Steve Fox with a fake moustache) Hey, are you Steve Fox?

 

Man Who Looks Like Steve Fox with a Fake Moustache: Me? Why, I'm........Dean....Ear....wicker....

 

Bryan: .....

 

Man Who Looks Like Steve Fox with a Fake Moustache: .....

 

Bryan: Dean Earwicker.

 

Man Who Looks Like Steve Fox with a Fake Moustache: .....

 

Bryan: ...that is the stupidest name I ever heard.

 

Steve Fox (That's right, it was really him all along!): You'll never take me alive! (runs off)

 

Bryan: Get him!

 

(Raven and Nightmare try to catch Steve, but are shot by a random sniper)

Bryan: Damn it, Nina, would you stop doing that!

 

(After Nina shoots them, Steve, being the tough-guy he is, runs up to Nightmare and Raven and punches them)

 

Nightmare: Oh, my soul!

 

Raven: You don't have to punch us, we've already been shot, you dumbass!

 

(Steve, being the tough-guy he is, runs off)

 

Nightmare: (trying to get up) My soul's going to feel that one in the morning...

 

Bryan: Way to go, you useless fu- (is shot) SHIT!

 

(In Lei's office)

 

Lei: So Boskonovitch knew you'd be there? Then that must mean he has a spy planted here. (is handed a cup of coffee by his boxing-glove wearing assistant) Thank you. Anyway, I understand that you found a note in Steve's room?

 

Bryan: Right, it said to meet the old guy at the Mishima Lab.

 

Lei: ...so why the hell are you here then? Get going!

 

Bryan: Alright, we're leaving! At least this is nearing the end of the chapter, so that means this whole ordeal is almost finished.

 

Announcer: TO BE CONTINUED.

 

Bryan: .......shit.

 

(End of Chapter 15)

 

I bet you thought that whole part in the previous chapter with Alex was pointless, didn't you. That's where you're wrong, because I've been planning for it to lead up to this all this time. That's right. A whole year. Just to build up the suspense. Because I'm that good.

....actually, I just never got around to it.

 

Nightmare kicks ass. But have you noticed how many times he uses the word soul? I think he's got Turret's or something. Except with the word 'soul'.

 

Hah hah, Raven looks like Wesley Snipes, I'm so original. I'm sure you haven't heard that one a million times. I hate myself.

I've been considering getting a name change for a while now. I hate my name. Not so much my first as my last. But I figure if I change my last name, I might as well change my first, since I've never really felt it suits me. I'd have gotten it changed by now, in fact, except I wonder how my parents would react. Well, my mom probably wouldn't care, she couldn't wait to change her last name after they divorced, so I suppose she wouldn't mind. But I'd have to think about my choice for a name carefully, since I'd have to go through life with it. Unless I changed it again. But then I'd just start confusing people. Of course I'd have to try to avoid a name that sounds too cool, because you're always judged by your name when you have one like that. Like a guy named Duke is expected to be some kind of a tough guy. So when people find out you're just someone in their 40's who doesn't exercise and reads pokemon fanfics, they're going to dislike you that much more than they would have if they found out you were someone in their 40's who doesn't exercise and reads pokemon fanfics. And Ace. Oh, god. Ace. How the hell do you measure up to a name like that? Everyone will expect you to be some top fighter-pilot or something, and when they discover you're just a stockboy....they'll be disappointed. On the other hand, a name like Melvin or Milo is easy to work with. People don't expect much of a person with that kind of name. Still, how much respect can you have for a guy named Melvin? I've come up with the perfect name though. It's simple, yet cool, and most importantly, it'd get respect. Ron Jeremy. It's a great name, isn't it? You could really go places with a name like that.