Tekken Fan Fiction ❯ Tekken Unknown ❯ In the Unknown ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

TEKKEN UNKNOWN

Ch.1: In The Unknown

Disclaimer: All Tekken characters belong to Namco. All other characters belong to me.

Especially Toon.

A/N: This is the first story I have ever written and it has gone through major changes over 3 years. It is all ready complete, I just have to type and upload the other chapters.

Narrator: This story starts in the unknown…

Unknown: Huh? Did someone call me?

Narrator: No.

Unknown: Are you sure?

Narrator: Yes.

Unknown: Ok.

Narrator: Anyway, in the unknown we find the characters…

Unknown: What? I have characters inside me? I'm pregnant? How many babies am I having? I'm a mommy!

Narrator: No not you! The unknown.

Unknown: Yeah that`s me.

Narrator: I mean the vast unknown.

Unknown: Are you calling me fat because I'm pregnant?

Narrator: No damn it. Unknown the big place no one knows about. Now shut up and leave me alone!

Unknown: Oh ok. If you need me I'll be at my place.

Narrator: (Mutters) Bitch! Any way back to the story. In the unknown we find Kazuya, Heihachi and, Ogre.

Kazuya: Heihachi, where the hell are we.

Heihachi: Stupid boy, you can't even read. Fool.

Kazuya: That's it, you are so dead (tackles Heihachi and wails on him.)

Ogre: Stop! You're hurting your father.

Kazuya: So! (Starts choking him)

Ogre: So after he's dead who are you going to kill?

Kazuya: (thinks hard) Paul!

Ogre: He's not here dumb ass!

Kazuya: Fine (lets go of Heihachi) I can't believe I'm here, where ever we are, stuck with no one but an evil senile bastard and a weak, queer monster.

Ogre: Who the hell are you calling weak punk? (Absorbs Heihachi and turns into True Ogre and burns Kazuya. Kazuya emerges from the fire unscratched, except his suit is singed.)

Kazuya: (Looks down to find his suit smoking and deteriorating) you... you... DIE! (Purple electricity swallows him turning him into Devil)

Devil: (With a deranged, demonic tone) Ogre go boom-boom death Kazuya wham smack zzzzvvviya. (Tries to laser beam Ogre, but Paul, Law, King, Bryon and, Jun fall from the sky and Paul is hit with the beam and lays paralyzed, or dead, on the floor.

King: Alright, he killed Paul!

Bryan: Finally, he kept asking if he could have my arm.

Law: Oh my god, I'm rich again!

D-Kazuya: (Smirking for hitting Paul) your next bastard! (Rushes Ogre to do a dragon uppercut, but is interrupted by a kick to the jaw from Angel.

Angel: I will vanquish you demon.

Devil: That hurt you bitch.

King: Hey, who's the hot, white, angel chick?

Jun: That's Kazuya's good side.

Bryan: That drunk, sissy, abusive bastard has a good side?

Lei: (Sleeping) I think about you all night too Jun.

Bryan: When the hell did you get here?

Jun: And why did you bring your bed?

Lei: (Waking up) Wha, huh ... Jun, why are you in my bed room; with clothes on.

D-Kazuya: (Pops Lei's nose with a punch, knocking him out cold.) Ever look at my girl again and I will reap your soul.

Narrator: Just then, Devil Jin fly's down and challenges his father to a fight.

D-Jin: You must die.

D-Kazuya: There you are my child; I could feel you coming; ready to surrender your soul... Your power.

Angel: No Kazama, you are in danger here, I must defeat him alone.

Paul: What the hell is going on here?

Bryan: Nooooooo! Kill it! Kill it! (Rushes Paul and beats the shit out of him.)

D-Jin: I can't let you do that Angel. I must kill Devil and absorb his power.

Kazuya: I control him, and you angel, I command you to kill... (Pauses for dramatic affect) Paul!

Bryan: Too late

Kazuya: Damn. Well... kill Heihachi then.

Ogre: Also too late.

Kazuya: Shit! ... Well how about um...

Jin: (Calms down.) How about Hwoarang.

Kazuya: Sure whatever.

Jin: Yes

Devil: F that, lets kill Ogre for killing Heihachi.

Angel: No, I will not kill.

Kazuya: The hell you won't.

Angel: (To Jun) It is up to you to control him.

Jun: What! You can't leave, You're his good side. Without you, he'll be even more evil and insane.

Narrator: Angel walks inside of Kazuya's body and comes back out with her suitcase. Once outside she loses her wings, blonde hair and white leotard which are replaced with a black dress, a darker complexion and black hair. The halo stays on her head.

King: God damn you're hot!

Angel: Thank you. (Turns to Kazuya and walks within inches of his body.) You be a good boy now.

Kazuya: Well... I... Um.

Angel: I'll be back in a year.

Devil: See you later bitch.

Angel: I'll be back for you too. (With a smile she kisses Kazuya who turns into Devil) Bye. (Waves and then disappears with a blink of an eye.)

Narrator: All the men holler like wolves.

Meanwhile

Narrator: Hwoarang and Unknown were sitting on top of a gas tank, smoking blunts and conversing lightly.

Hwoarang: Hey U.

Unknown: You! I have a name.

Hwoarang: Your name is Unknown.

Unknown: What! So now you don't know my name huh?

Hwoarang: What are you talking about? I said your name is Unknown.

Unknown: Okay, two can play that name, I mean game, Mr. ...um Chris.

Hwoarang: Chris?

Unknown: Yeah, you don't like that, do you Cinnamon Brown.

Hwoarang: Unknown.

Unknown: Jimmy!

Hwoarang: Unknown!

Unknown: Hank!

Hwoarang: Unknown!

Unknown: Bob!

Narrator: Just then, Yoshi and Kuni run past the gas station with men in gas masks chasing them down the street. This scene was replaced a few seconds later with one of a kangaroo fighting a giant half chicken half squirrel. The fight is deadlocked with the kangaroo doing a variety of punching and kicking combos and the giant-mutated freak throwing pecks and claws. The fight ends when the kangaroo uppercuts the freak momentarily into the air before it smashes a nearby bridge and falls into the sea.

Hwoarang: OMG. I can't believe it. I just saw a real fight.

Unknown: Make snu-snu me Kazama.

Hwoarang: Wha? My name isn't Kazama you high, tattooed chick.

Unknown: Just kiss me. (Unknown and Hwoarang kiss, dropping their cigarettes onto the gas tanks. The kangaroo stares at them. Then he gives a cheesy smile and makes an unseen muscle pop out by flexing his left arm. Mario runs past in a referee outfit with the text K.O. flashing out his mouth.)

Back in the Unknown

Narrator: Paul is trying to stand up after just being beamed and beaten to putty.

Paul: What the hell is going on?

Bryan: Wha… how the hell are you breathing? I snapped your neck and shot you in the head.

Anonymous voice (AV): Yeah you idiot, can't you read scripts. Put your head back down and shut up!

Paul: Yes sir. (Paul complies with the order.)

Bryan: Wow! Someone put Paul in check. Who was that?

(AV): Why it was me, Anonymous. (A black line appears in mid-air, right above Paul's head. The line is pushed open to reveal it as a black hole and a man in a purple suit steps out and onto Paul. A girlish squeal is heard.)

Paul: Hey get off of me.

(AV): I said silence! (Blue lightning shoots through the air at Paul and the purple-suited man disappears, allowing the lightning to hit Paul.)

Bryan: Damn! (The purple-suited man reappears and Kazuya runs up to him.)

Kazuya: Hey man, I know this sounds awkward but I need that suit; I feel so naked without it.

Man: That's because you kinda are man.

Kazuya: (Looks down to discover he is wearing only a Speedo and a bow-tie.) What the hell?

Man: Sure, just hold on a sec.( The purple suit catches flame as well as Kazuya and in a blink of an eye Kazuya has on a purple suit and the man has on an identical crimson one.) There you go man.

Kazuya: That was freakin' awesome.

Law: Can I have the crimson one?

Man: No, but I can set you on fire.

Law: No thanks.

Bryan: Do it! Do it!

King: Yeah come on, I have to roast these marshmallows.

Man: That's ok, I was just joking.

(AV): I'll do it. (The ground around Law turns red and jets of fire shoot out.)

King: Whooohooo! (Pulls out some marshmallows and put them on metal steaks.)

Law: A little help please.

King: Hold on, there almost ready.

Man: I'll help, but I want marshmallows afterward.

King: Hell no!

Man/Law: Yes!

King: Go get your own.

Law: Come on man, I'm on fire! F-I-R-E!

King: Ok, I'll trade you for cupcakes.

Law: Where would I get cupcakes from.

Hwoarang: I have some.

10 Minutes Later

Narrator: Law is rolling around trying to put the fire out of his new crimson suit. King has just finished eating one of Hwoarang's cupcakes, and the mystery man is eating some smores.

Hwoarang: So dude, I haven't seen you in any of the tournaments, who are you supposed to be.

Man: Who am I? I am Toon. I am the author's avatar. This is my home. Here, I have enormous power. And soon, you all will be my bitches. MWUHAHAHAHAHA——

Jun: Are you ok Mr. umm Toon?

Toon: —— HAHAHAHAHA huh? cough Um… yeah.

King: Hey Toon, how do you spell?

Toon: Umm, Wha?

King: It's kinda hard for me cause I got this mask on so I have to use my mouth.

Lei: The fuck is you speaking my nugger?

King: SUUUP doe Lei-ray. When u got out.

Eddy: S'all high? Wit out meh? O y'all str8 trippin? Sa'k doe cuz yea int got de good stuf.

Kazuya: Y iz y'all talking like diz.

Toon: Oh sorry, I pushed the ghetto button.

Eddy: What diz be bout a ghetto butin?

Bryan: Did you turn it off?

Toon: Yeah, that's just how he talks.

King: Holy shit. ( Picks up a lead pipe and pops Law in the head) Did you see the size of that cat? Dude it was like a human's size.

Law: æ¯ç‹—,æ¯ç‹¼,æ¯ç‹.

King: Cool a Chinese cat. Or is it a Puma?

Paul: What's up with King?

(AV): I said silence bitch. (An army of giant, crazy, rabid, hairy, gun-slinging, disco dancing M&M's appears under Paul and swallows him whole like quicksand.)

Bryan: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Paul's dead. This is the greatest day of my life. Thanks Anonymous.

(AV): No problem mortal.

Toon: You look familiar. Do I know you?

Kazuya: Who looks familiar? The sky?

Toon: I can see… Her! Is that you Kelly?

Kelly: No!

King: Then why did it say Kelly before those shapes kames out your mouth?

Toon: You mean letters.

Paul: (From inside the mutated M&M's) What R U talking about? What letters.

(AV): Didn't I tell you to——

Bryan: I got this one. Just give me a sec.(He runs deeper into the unknown until he is a spec to the others.

Toon: So your telling me that you can see the text and script?

King: Not only that but I can see the author mastur——

Tory: I dare you to finish that sentence.

King: ...um mastur...ing a um... cheat code?

Paul: Nice save dude.

Toon: Hey Tory, is King the chosen one?

Tory: Sorry Toon, but I can't tell [Kiiiiiiiiiiyyyyyaaaaa Huh? (Everyone turns to see Bryan running towards them, seriously strapped. He has a gatlin gun in his right hand, a grenade belt, an M-16 on his back, a knife on his boot and black and white face paint.)

Bryan: I told you I'd kill you yet you bastard. (Jumps into the air throwing a grenade into the whirlpool of candy that only melts in your mouth and dives in headfirst.)

Narrator: Everyone stares at each other for a few seconds.

King: I gotta go poopy.

On the next installment of Tekken Unknown,

Sound Guy: whoosh whoosh whooooooooooooosh!

Kazuya: My middle name is...

(SG): Dun Dun dun Dun Duuuun!

Lei: I didn't know that you were so hot Ling.

(SG): uh-oh

Ganryu: I'm fat I know it, I'm fat and old and a pedophile I'll show it.

Jin: Where's Bryan?

Kazuya: Ha! I knew it. Is that the only person you notice is missing? (Pulls out a phone) Hello. Yeah it's me. Remember the bet we made at the baby shower. Well I win. Yeah he's gay, Boo-yah motha fucker pay up. Hey Jin, tell Wang your gay.