Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction ❯ Ah My Tsunami Muyo! - The Human Sphere Saga ❯ Part Nine - (Special Bumble Food Pack Version): Urp. ( Chapter 14 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
Food.
You eat it.
(- Anonymous)
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(Ah My Tsunami Muyo! - Part Nine (Special Bumble Food Pack Version): Urp.)
Sahimi, Udon, Yakitori, Okonomiyaki, Hamubagu, Gyoza, Yudofu, Soba, Somen, Tonkatsu, Agedashi Tofu, Nikujaga, and even Kayu!!
Pipian Roja with meat, Tortas de Papas con Espinaca, Tejocotes, Filete de Sierra en Adobo, Sour Creme Enchiladas, Tex-Mex Lasagna, even spicy Mexican Wedding Cookies!
Chinese Roast Suckling Pig, Seasoned Eel Slices, Duck Blood and Bean Curd Soup, Saute Mandarin Fish with Noodles, Man Han Chuan Shi, even Fortune Cookies.
Russian Medley, Selyodka pod Shouboy, Russian Honey Cakes, Caviar Blinis, Lemon Chicken Scaloppine, Wild Goat cutlets, Rice kasha with mushrooms, Beet Kvas, and even Borscht!
Tuscan Pasta Fresca, Stracciatella Egg Soup, Bruschetta, Sienese Arista with Pici, Piselli novelli in casseruola, Trippa all fiorentina, Bongo, and even Schiacciata alla fiorentina! (Darn good cake too.)
Almond Soup, Norfolk Turkey Breast with Asparagus, White Devil, Aberdeen Angus Fillet Steak with Whiskey Sauce, Endive-Orange-and Hazelnut Salad, Banbury Apple Pie, and even Fish and Chips!!
Sirloin Croquettes, Quiche Lorraine, Garlic Lemon Green Beans, Pumpkin Turnip Soup, Citrus Chicken Salad, Pears Belle Helene, Simple Brioche Loaf, and even Ratatouille little chef!
“They're all here folks!!”
-Tokyo Prefecture Kitchen Gladiators Superplex Coliseum, hundreds of thousands of seats chalk full in seat, utterly mouth watering their tongues dry. -
-Dozens of dishes that threaten to flood the entire stadium, even if it was the 'relocated' Rose Bowl from centuries ago. Still looks like it'll drool-flood!-
-Three Titanium-Core Chefs looking on in utter dismay!-
-One amazed announcer raising the hand of a mere lady of eighteen or so!-
“We're here with the winner of this special winner take all super battle! She made all these dishes like she 'only' needed an hour, and she was given two!”
-Behind a teal Ascended, a trio of happy 'special' helpers clap, as the newly minted Titanium-Core mega-chef is crowned-
“Can you tell us how you did it?”
“~ I just love cooking. ~”
-Nearby, an anime critic, a food lover the size of Alaska, and food critic, (author of seventy holovid books on super easy cooking using replicators,) all look on anime teary eyed, as super extra special guest taster Ajiyoshi Gurume the 1,349th just cries..- “I'll never taste heaven like that again. Such full and exquisite flavors. Such impeccable displays.”
Crowd: “(The babe helpers.)”
Achika whispering to Tsui and Misaki: “( ~ I think they like us somehow. ~ )”
The announcer in a bad gene regrown hair style reminiscent of ancient wig styles of the old mode, just screams at a blinking Sasami. “What's your secret for taking down these high caliber chefs? All three at once even! All better trained and more experienced than you hope to ever be!? What's you're secret?!?” (Random crowd voice: Yeah, they suck!)
Sasami looks dryly back. “~ Gee, give compliments why not? ~”
The announcer just reacts OVERZEALOUSLY!! “WHAT'S YOUR SECRET!?!?! WAHAHAHAAH!!”
“~ Love! Love is the key!! ~”
The crowd goes split silent! Even the Italian-American Unions Fusion Chef looks aghast. “I lost to love?!? I'll sue my divorce lawyer droid!!”
Pacific Grand Rim Chef: “Using hot dogs with caviar covered fries didn't help.”
The Euro Cuisine Chef just scoots away from his left.
Everyone just watches, as this special battle closes. (And the host can feel his mouth again after taking flaming hot sake during the tasting portion. Was supposed to use it as decoration, or so the weird Pacific chef decided. Two centuries might be a bit long at the job.) Most just wonder the meaning behind the chef who's very life was centered on this trait.
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Sahimi, Udon, Yakitori, Okonomiyaki, Hamubagu, Gyoza, Yudofu, Soba, Somen, Tonkatsu, Agedashi Tofu, Nikujaga, and even Kayu!!
Pipian Roja with meat, Tortas de Papas con Espinaca, Tejocotes, Filete de Sierra en Adobo, Sour Creme Enchiladas, Tex-Mex Lasagna, even spicy Mexican Wedding Cookies!
Chinese Roast Suckling Pig, Seasoned Eel Slices, Duck Blood and Bean Curd Soup, Saute Mandarin Fish with Noodles, Man Han Chuan Shi, even Fortune Cookies.
Russian Medley, Selyodka pod Shouboy, Russian Honey Cakes, Caviar Blinis, Lemon Chicken Scaloppine, Wild Goat cutlets, Rice kasha with mushrooms, Beet Kvas, and even Borscht!
Tuscan Pasta Fresca, Stracciatella Egg Soup, Bruschetta, Sienese Arista with Pici, Piselli novelli in casseruola, Trippa all fiorentina, Bongo, and even Schiacciata alla fiorentina! (Darn good cake too.)
Almond Soup, Norfolk Turkey Breast with Asparagus, White Devil, Aberdeen Angus Fillet Steak with Whiskey Sauce, Endive-Orange-and Hazelnut Salad, Banbury Apple Pie, and even Fish and Chips!!
Sirloin Croquettes, Quiche Lorraine, Garlic Lemon Green Beans, Pumpkin Turnip Soup, Citrus Chicken Salad, Pears Belle Helene, Simple Brioche Loaf, and even Ratatouille little... wait a minute!!!
A mortal most beloved, just TEARDROPS at the sight on the large Kotsu dinner table. One about ready to buckle it seems. “Uh....”
“~ What? ~” Sasami quips, the teenage Ascended blinking. Tsui of the lot of Dimensional norms, just giggles, as Al remarks. “I.. ah.. know you did that show yesterday and all, but did you have to remake the 'entire' buffet from all that?”
A piece of that frenchie Loaf bonks off Al's melon. “~ Don't complain, you get to eat the same stuff that those mortals yesterday inhaled. ~”
Kiyone remarks off Sasami's quip. “~ Inhaled indeed. Don't those kinds of mortals at least taste things? ~”
“{~ I think the smell of the meal was enough for them. ~}”
Tenchi smiles. “~ Enough for half this mortal land base in population. ~” ..he then floats up over the large servings to look at the mortal of Sensei note. “~ We can call them over here to... ~”
“~ Not happening Brother. ~” Tsunami quips, Tenchi drops out of sight. Ayeka just remarks. “~ Did not the tasters yesterday need their stomachs pumped from eating too much? ~”
Sasami just spikes. “~ What does that mean?! ~” Ayeka just hid under the table under Sasami's, and (more because,) Misaki's stares. Al just swivels his eyes about, as Mihoshi just pigs out happily, like some Saiyan-Jughead combo being. (Those figures most slender 'never' worry about weight here. Goddess advantages.)
“(~ It drives the goddess of diets nuts, Sensei. ~)” ..Funaho giggles and has a handful. Al just gulps and digs in himself, easily crying in so doing, as the taste is too extravagant, (full bodies flavors and textures and all that yeah yeah,) as well as from knowing the point of it all was..
“~ Yes beloved dear. ~” ..Tsui quips, with a 'dangerous' glint in her loving eye anymore.
Al just mulls. “(And once I wondered if I'd get any.)”
“~ Good thing I injected those Vitamin-E nanites a while back. ~”
Al rubs his arms reflexively. “Enforced at that Washu.”
“Yeah.” Keturia quips, in mirror reaction. Washu just fake mumbles something while her mouth is full, avoiding it all. Everyone just eats away, as Aleaic wonders. “How are we going to finish this all anyway?”
“~ We acquired help. ~”
Al looks at Tsui. “Help?”
*WHAM!!*
Al doesn't jump anymore. “Ah.. her.”
“YO! SOHPY!! *SMACK!* I SEE YA GOT THE SPREAD AGAIN!!!”
In the middle of praying for a chiropractic goddess to show up. “Hey Tasha. Thanks for blowing out eardrums for a hundred kilometer radii. As ever.”
Before Al knows it, Tasha's just vacuuming away, as Fat Dal, Sora and Tora (now married,) Kero and Alana, and a beaming Michelle just join the gorging fun. Minagi notes somewhat freaked out. “{~ Should not they be charged for these meal intrusions? Every night it seems now. ~}”
Alana looks up. “Who's the new Ryoko girl?”
“{~ House loafer. ~}” Ryoko quips. Ayeka as ever.. “~ As our resident expert can attest. ~”
A localized food fight is avoided by retorts from Misaki and Achika, as Mayuka groans between the Aberdeen Angus and Suckling Pig. (talk about a haphazard table.) Tenchi meanwhile slinks under the Kayu. Aleaic however of note, notes Sasami is as beaming and happy as ever. Tsunami looks the same as well. Being linked means both must get reflective value in their enjoyment of Portfolios, which is to be had essentially ever dinner night, only interrupted by extravagant trips to Heaven or a race here and there. (Michelle is happy for a 'reason' now, note the winner's pins on her snazzy flight jacket.)
Which begets an odd thought as Al literally savors the Sirloin, (as any half witted meat lover does,) (Washu: Haha, pegged Sensei right.) ..er.. he, um... ah.. he then thinks something he hadn't bothered to consider since...
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Journal Entry - 30th April 3420
-Recording Terminal / Module 1321E-
When's the last time I had junk food?
Where are we at.. three plus years, going on four now? I've not gone a night without some form of an extravagantly prepared meal fit for the Sovereign President, or a State-Sphere dinner for Planetary Senatora. I mean, even the meals I had in those old races with Team Angel had a flair of touch to them. And say nothing of having customized meals for most nights, unless it's a goddess's birthday, in which case the portions double.
But tonight... how I avoid doing like the ancient romans did when they over eat, (trust me, it's not a kosher thought,) amazes me. I think it's because the food is too DANG good!! My Father for blessed sakes was complimenting the meals the family had when they were here, to the point Mother and Sisters were taking lessons those last few nights. When we go seeing home in a few days here, guess who's getting more lessons, cause Sasami won't leave my side. Tsunami and Sasami each has claims to my right and left arms respectively! (There's even a claim tattoo of some kind on my arms! Yeep!)
Saying all that, I can not remember the last time I had anything less than the culinary best! (And I got the goddess of Culinary herself as my personalized chef! This just makes Tsui-chan Happy, for obvious reasons. You don't know 'amplified' emotions until you've had two goddesses that feed off each other's 'happy' waves over me. Fawning is at new Zeniths here man!! =@@=!!! -manic panting sounds for 4.2 seconds-
I... I can't remember the last time I tasted freeze dried Ramen. That plain grilled squid as a plain snack. Potato chips in sixty two flavors on command, Plain cookies out of a Twinkie proof tested vacuum bag. The old greasy spoon where the fat gave vegetarians on Venus nightmares! Battered pickles and Hot Wings!
Oh.. now I remember. Wait... -silence for a few seconds- ...I thought I heard a gasp. Keeping secrets is impossible here after all. Yet, I wonder what would happen if I tried to bring junk food into this place. Is it possible? Can such a thing be accomplished? Am I just talking to a machine again like it was myself? Er... yeah. Wonder if it can be done. I...
Wait.. ut oh. That time again ladies?
Er.. -thudding sound of the Padd- wh... whats in the bottle 'this' time?
Tsui: “~ Goddess Fly 3400. Washu's special formula. ~”
Sas: “~ I brought the gravity chains! ~”
Eep...!
Tsui: “~ I'll Seal the door. ~”
-some 'interesting' sounds of 'various' kinds over the next fifteen minutes recorded.-
-Journal Padd auto-shutoff after fifteen minutes for power saving-
-End datarecording.. 1037.21..-
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-next day-
He managed to get away with a lame excuse about his Serverfarm Center job. (Which he didn't realize was already null and void by word of his Father Terrai. He managed to sneak over to a 77-111 convenience store in his Gelphi Skiff, alone at that, despite all the mindfield minefield he lived with. (It's not a typo. Secrets are 'difficult' to keep in that residence. And Al has the mind blocking capability of warm butter against hot lava. It usually does not happen.) And yet somehow Al managed to get a small, seemingly innocuous bag of Ramen and some other one time snacky tidbits. He managed to come home after eating some, and hide most of the few tidbits he gathered in a work case. He came home and was looking like he was still sneaking around.
“Dang the girls were rough last night.” ..or something else of cause.
He didn't see anyone around. Weird he thought. He managed to slip in, like some Sphere SpecOps agent, and was making his way...
Eh? “WHA!!?!?! Ah... oh crud.”
Renewed dizziness accompanies the usual sudden teleports he's subjected to. Course this time it's into the kitchen. “~ Work huh? ~”
“Teleporting 'can't' be good for me, you know.”
“~ Nor is this. ~”
In succession, the words of Tsunami, Al the Dope, and Sasami, then promptly lead to a number of 'articles' phase floating out from his work case of chrome-tsansparasteel. The way this went next, might as well been an ancient mode style drug bust. (These days the problem is illegal mindwave to Internetlink jacking that is as unregulated, as it is dangerous. The body cannot exist without the mind, and all that.)
Anywho.. “~ A little fun on the town today dearest? ~” Tsui 'asks'.
“So?” Al tried to deflect the argument. Instead of more terse words, he instead felt a 'weird' feeling that empties his very gut, and he swears his bloodstream along with it!! “What the heavens!??!”
“(~ The power I hold is not meek. ~)” Misaki quips, blowing at her finger like a used blaster. “(~ And the toxins of mortal cuisine is removed from your digestive system. You'll thank me later. This I trust. ~)”
Al of course just snaps like a shuttle booster ignition! “Isn't even my bladder off limits!?”
“(~ That's the waste removal system. ~)”
Aleaic twitters an eye, before he gulps as three teal tressed goddesses start tapping their toes at him. Ryoko on a snacking binge of her own saunters in on random whim, but then sees.. “{~ Wut oh. ~}“ ..and wisely retreats quickly, leaving Al to suffer.. “”(Help.)”
-TADA!!-
...a six course lunch. (Japanese-French mix apparently.)
Al twitters his eyes again. “Uh... it looks good. Great even. Hehe.”
Tsui/Sas/Misak: “~ Eat. ~”
Punishment dealt. Savory and belly filling.
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Journal Entry - 1st May 3420
-Recording Terminal / Module 1322E-
They defied my taste for bad stuff. This vexes me.
But they underestimate me. Hehehehehe...
-End datarecording.. 0551.01..-
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-Creak... creak... creak... strange and stupid laughter.-
“~ We gave the rest to Minagi. ~”
Al is surprised by Kiyone's voice, to the point that he splats hard down the rest of the stairs. “~ And the broken nose syndrome again too. ~”
“I paid for those dried cutlets with my own barely earned trust fund.. er.. funds, you know. Ow my schnoz.”
Al then is suddenly levitated upside down and flash healed of his broken nose. “~ Cya. ~” ..before Kiyone drops Al lightly to his back.
The sound of dragging fingernails on poly-synthetic wood flooring just stutters the air.
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Journal Entry - 1st May 3420
-Recording Terminal / Module 1323E-
My stores of forbidden treats. How could they. And to a demon that... well, no worse than they let Ryoko get away with. But they defy me wanting bad juju in my belly! But I have another source. He has more bad stuff than President Lewinsky the XXLLII did with her 'activities' off hours. They can't stop them all, I'll have my snack food revenge! -more stupid laughter.-
-End datarecording.. 0610.22..-
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“Yeah.. yeah you heard me Fat Dal. Yeah, I already have those 'juicy' holovids you like. Swear to goddess I don't need them anymore. Not that I ever did. Yes... yes I know you want the really raunchy scenes. Yes... yes, just drop by the old campus hideyhole, and... yes... will you stop that breathing, It's disturbing!”
He cuts off his CPU and hops up. All the better to lose this rubbish of 10X-hentai crud, and get his fruity creme Twinkie cakes from. He relished the old taste of something that was around when Venus was still it's original hell of a world. Or at least older than his Father. Fat Dal had an eye for antiques.
Aleaic got up and went to the hatch. He slid it open and immediately noticed a glowing spot below him. He looked through squint eyes and saw a glowing crystal plate. On it, within a pure clear film of bioair-degradable cellophane, was three expertly rolled rice balls. (Even have those black stripe thingys seen in hundreds of anime universe over.) There's also a card Al wishes he didn't read, put in exquisite goddess style blue-silver handwriting.
“: Eat it. :”
Goddesses: 2, Mortal dope: -urp- 0
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-Tekomi I.T. Mechanics Clubhouse.-
-Manic sounds of giggling-
Fat Dal actually looks weirded out for once. “You okay Gaijin?”
Al just wildly gestures his hands impatiently. “Aye aye, just gimme.” ..as he hands the holovid crud to him. “And you need a girlfriend by the way.” Dal just ignores that, focused on the holochip unit. Both just make disturbing chuckling sounds for a few seconds.
And then, a door smacks open downstairs, one that Fat Dal actually FREEZES on hearing! “No way... not.... not 'her'... not... again...”
Al blinks a load. “The heck is with you?”
“Yo! Dal you putrid graduate! I got the holovid I borrowed from ya! Also got something else for ya”
Al heard Tasha's bittersweet voice, and then saw Dal freeze some more. Al had been around the block enough now, (ride that unicorn-pony gene-slice,) to realize. Dal gulped, Al made a motion to talk through his chest. Dal gulped, shook his head, and realized the blackmail. Al then stopped, cocked an eye, and..
“That bag of sixty-seven flavors chips. Tomorrow.”
Not sure that return grumble would be kid friendly there.
When Tasha saw Al a moment later, it was all she saw. “Hey Sophy, whatcha doing here?”
“Oh.. just making my own grave.”
While Tasha flustered off questions from Aleaic about Fat Dal when she asked about him, the said secret fat ball and chain already was running for the local speeder service once again. Ah, old college romances.
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-Tekomi Park-
It was in his hands. That succulent piece of ancient foodcake and heavily preserved icing filling. In the wrapper made to withstand nuclear blasts. The air in the packaging must be about as stale as those ancient of ancient Egyptian Pyramid tombs he'd seen on family trips on some afternoons. It was perfection of the worst kind.
“It's mine. It's all mine.” -some kind disturbing laughter seeps out- “My precious... pprreecciioouusss... My sweet and cakey..” ..the wrapper makes a crinkly opening sound.
The sky all of a sudden goes utterly dark. Sound stops, wind halts, the feel of life just dumps dead for that on instant. Aleaic as some nice and wide eyes, as he can't possibly avoid to look at the sight of a Dimensional Angel that literally encapsulated ALL possible sight, blocking out even the blackened sky of void!! And since the Angel had white and lime green at the never ever split ends.. er.. ends, and those white to pink tipped wings, and that copper skin and all.
And the way the Angel was like a massive Sphere Battleship about to slam into Tekomi City utter proper, well..
The reaching arm most immense didn't help his mental stability. (Somehow bladder control was maintained.)
The fear factor lasted well long enough for Al to realize his hands were holding something else now. He looks down in his whacked out state and sees a.. “Eh!? Ah... oh great.” ..and recovers his composure a bit too readily, to fully clutch an actual diamond encased lunch box of love, with a diamond top with a pure sapphire slant stripe, one he opens to show a nice noddle snack of garlic and soy, with some rice crackers and lemon slices. So wonderfully made, Al swears he can hear it actually singing like a... “Eh?” ..he closes the top, and opens it twice more. Doing so each time gives the ever so lightest sound of angels singing.
“Gee.. be showy.”
Somewhere off to his high left. “~ Haha.. ~” ..as he sees Mayuka flit up and zip off. “HEY! YOU CHEATING... I... That was my... er...” ..and vanish.. “...yeah. Ergh...” ..and dumps his head, before he starts with a pluck of actual ivory chopsticks from the lunch box top underside. Nice and loving warm with a steamed feel they are, as is the luxurious taste he endures.
“I'll suffer this..” -munchslurpmunchgulp- “..for now.” -snarfgulpsmack- “But..” -chowchowGokuchow- “..this isn't over...” -urpslurpsmacksnarf- “...yet.”
Yeah, suffering sucks noodles.
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Aleaic never thought he'd sink this low. Go to a place mortals fear to tread. The trepidation was impossible to contemplate, as he squeaked the door through that most occupied door that once held nothing but cleaning supplies. But evil snack food mania knows no loyalties or bounds. Sometimes the best path was the worst one.
“That made no friggen sense author!”
Sheesh, no mood for drama.
“The readers think this is all stupid by now too.”
This from a guy that just an SI pairing character.
“Well, who's the one that made me!”
“~ Do you both mind? ~”
Aleaic remembers where he's at, but then blinks when he sees something even worse to contemplate! “Why... why are there.. one.. two.. four... seven Washus!?!?”
Indeed, seven different Washu's, one a mini Washu of sorts, the light hair and Mihoshi like dark skin... the goddess Washu just quips. “~ I got bored not having an equal mind here in this series, so I borrowed the Washu's from the other canon series. I got a bonus with Tama here too. ~”
Yup: Ryo-ohki-GXP Washu, Universe Washu, Shin Tenchi Washu, Okuda Manga Washu with Tama-chan, Tsunami Radiance Washu, Pretty Sammy Washu,and the AMTM! Washu all stand together, a nasty combo of minds that like their flair of creation on the annihilative side. Aleaic therefore wisely just freaks out in silent, wild eyed mode.
“You're right, the author here is annoying.” ..this Pretty Sammy Washu quips, at least the compliments never end. (Sob.)
Aleaic just gulps and quips to his continued health. “Um.. must be the smartest plot of land in all of existence. The father would be jealous.”
“~ Flattery won't get you my food replicator. ~”
Al throws a fit. “Dang it, quit that!”
“He acts like all the other Tenchis do.” ..this Okuda Washu remarks. Ryo-ohki (OVA) Washu asks.. “Does that mean the Tenchi here is like that?”
“~ Nah, the one here chose. Otherwise he's about the same as the rest, save for being essentially as godlike as you and he in that series. ~”
The Washu lot then start a prolonged discussion concerning their respective Tenchi's, which should be creating some kind of writers paradox or something here that would destroy the galaxy and all, yet doesn't. Aleaic tries to take advantage and starts to sneak over to the food replicators.
Or did until a teleport ring snaps to life around him. “Huh?”
He's gone before he can even curse badly. The uncanonized AMTM! Washu just wipes her hands. “~ Boy he never gets a clue. ~”
Universe Washu then just asks. “So, how many times have you shaken the lily around here?”
OVA Washu blinks. “Where'd you hear that one?”
Said TV Washu just quips. “Please, what self respecting Washu wouldn't think that?”
Said TV Washu just quips. “Please, what self respecting Washu wouldn't think that?”
TR Washu just nods. “Good point.”
We'll just leave now.
(Washux7+Tama: Oh just shut up author!!)
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Al ends up plopped down at the nominal dinner table. Upon a simple white Japanese style seat cushion. The family is gathered, save Washu, as they all wait in exacting before meal prayer. Aleaic just sighs, before Sasami and Tsunami ever open their left eyes in a slit cracked manner. Al gives in and starts the meal prayer. “And we of this table give thanks for this bountiful.. -sob- ..meal we are about to eat.”
“~ Amen. ~ / {~ We're hungry. ~}”
Aleaic can't fathom how Ryoko and Minagi could be hungry, given he notes the tragic remains of a torn open wrapper, deliberately left on a nearby serving table. Al just sobs as he eats. Ket just leans over to Yosho. “He's finally losing it. Bout time.”
“~ Most tragic indeed. ~” ..taking a bite of succulent carp from Ket.
Misaki just giggles with Funaho, both whom note the victorious looks on the teal twin's faces.
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Journal Entry - 2nd May 3420
-Recording Terminal / Module 1324G-
We's forgotten the taste of cakebread. The sweet sound of mass produced plastic wrapping. We's even forgot our own name. (Well, not really.)
How do I defeat them, and clog my arteries in so doing? There must be a way. There must be! I know! That.. wait, he's probably in hotspa on Europa's orbital resort chain by now. Can't believe Fat Dal and Tasha are an item. Isn't this against some kind of law or something?
Ah.. but I 'do' know... eh? Aw man!
Tsui: “~ Washu's Goddess Fly 3.0 - Divine Punishment Formula. ~”
Sas: “~ We also got these weird uniforms from some Washu, from a universe with Love Love monsters. Whatever they are. ~”
Tsui: “~ Yes, so call me Queen tonight. ~”
I'm gonna die.
-End datarecording.. 1047.09..-
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Aleaic managed to slip away once again, (he should know better by now,) and made it to the outside.
“{~ Hello meat. ~}”
Al freaked.. “Minagi!!”
The Demon Agent just smirks, (while regaining hearing..) “{~ I hear you want a taste of the good stuff. ~}”
Al nods, a bit too readily. Minagi then offers a small plastic container full of McDoogy-King fries. The only food stuff that the Gardon consider worthy out of 'all' of Human cuisine. Terrai was infamous for having had the negotiation table kept laden with the stuff. Too bad the fries weren't around till the middle of the Third War. Who knew. (Course it was all word of mouth legend really.)
Al just salivates like a water fountain on overdrive flush. “Mu... mu... mu...”
“{~ I'll give you these, in exchange for your soul. ~}”
Al just blinks back to proper norm. “You nuts? You want Hell Core in one piece?”
Minagi blinked, and then realized more than likely who would tear Hell Core apart to get at Aleaic. (Before just killing him themselves. Or give him to Washu. Ew.) She tear dropped just as wisely. “{~ Yeah, can't blame an Agent for trying. ~}”
Al then just blinks, knowing trying to bother to take a fry would have goddess knows what teleportation effect on him. He instead just asks. “You eat em. Anywho. What do you eat normally for snacks?”
Minagi blinks, after woofing down the fries, and then he was surprised when Minagi produced what looked like a normal gum ball. “Uh...”
“{~ Demon gum. Plain name, I know. But it's the only snack besides eating raw lava curd, that our taste buds can get enough spice from. ~}”
Al cocked an eye, as Minagi actually let him cradle it. “{~ Might as well use up all the capsicum peppers on this mortal mudrock, because you mortals have lame tasting food here. No taste I tell ya. How Ryoko can stand it is beyond me. ~}”
“Half goddess. I'll save details.” ..which Minagi appreciates.
Somewhere near a Beta Hybrid is being laughed at by a Beta Goddess. Explosions follow.
“So it's that spicy?” ..he asks, disbelieving as ignorant mortals do.
“{~ You wish you... HEY! NOT ALL AT ONCE!! ~}”
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-Weeewooo weeewooo weeewooo...-
“Wow, I've never seen anyone spontaneously combust before. I thought it was all an megaplex-urban legend.”
Ket just blinks wackily, as Tsui and Sasami just shake their heads. Washu and Achika just help 'cool' down Aleaic's body temperature, which had somehow hit 150 degrees F, without killing him. Washu just moans. “~ The dang boy must like Masochism. ~”
“~ At least that Band works great. ~” Achika quips. Al sure don't look it, about the consistency of a charcoal briquette with a chewy center. Tenchi just comments. “~ Is Sensei going to be okay? ~”
Sas/Tsui: “~ Maybe. ~”
Mihoshi just cocks an eye, the only one of Tenchi's beloveds to be standing right now. (If one needs to ask, you'll hurt Washu's feelings. DON'T DO IT MAN!!)
“~ Um.. how come he's so determined to eat that mortal junk food? Why not just let him? ~”
Tsunami just sighs and rubs her own silken melon. “~ Lady Keturia just mentioned it was probably a phase he's going through. I myself did not realize how long he's gone without ingestation of food we ourselves did not make for him. ~”
“~ He's just not realizing what he has, just yet anyway. Besides, the games are fun while he does it. ~” Sasami quips cock-eyed. Tsui just smiles ever beaming. “~ Yes, beloved is being quite funny for once. We rarely match wits with him like we should. ~” Sasami smiles back. That Angel trick was a doozy she still laughed at. The look on Sensei's face was worth it, even if it was all mentalized in effect. They were having fun. (A bit too much.) Their giggles showed it.
Tenchi just looks bewildered at his sisters. “~ You two have just gotten weird as of late. Or just weirder than ever. ~”
Sasami just coughs, and Tsui just eyes Tenchi. And then.. “~ Mihoshi, Tenchi needs a reminder. ~”
Mihoshi just gives a super-glossy eyed look. “~ Oh wow! Really!? ~” ..and nabs Tenchi's arm. “~ Uh oh. ~” .. “~ Come on sweetie, your Sisters out rank me. ~” ..and drags a whimpering Avatar away. He just is heard as the door to Washu's lab clanks shut. “~ Maybe I shouldn't have chosen so willingly in this series! ~”
The sound after that remains is a sizzling Sensei. Achika just looks back. “~ You both should know that putting up with all this stuff twice as a Mother just gives me a medical grade migraine. ~”
Tsunami just smiles. “~ Just like before. ~”
Sasami just bemoans only having echo memories of what the two goddesses giggle about. Washu then quips. “~ The healing nanites will be done regenerating him in about three hours. Tell Minagi to 'not' answer ignorant Sensei queries about Hell Core without decent warning, would ye all? ~”
Sasami cocks an eye. “~ A Demon listening to a Goddess? Even if she's Ryoko's friend... ~”
“~ Ryoko will help then. ~” Tsui added, which all lent to an end to this unsightly trauma.
But not to the problem at hand.
---------------------
-three hours later (Washu's good for that.) -
“~ You okay Sensei? ~”
Al tries to walk as much under his own power, while Mayuka aids him, both heading to Al's room. Al just quips. “At least all that good food helps the healing along faster.”
“~ Bout time you noticed. ~” Mayuka quips dryly. “Like I got a choice?! Where's Tenchi at anyway?”
“~ Daddy is getting attention from Mommy Mihoshi. ~”
“Didn't need to hear that.”
“~ You asked. ~”
The sound of a bio-sensor bell makes Al and Mayuka look. “~ Who'd be here today? ~” The slide front hatch opens and Al sees.. “Eh? Dal?!”
“Here you traitor!!” ..as Fat Dal, looking all ravaged or something, and holding a large Econo-sized bag of 67-Flavors chips. Mayuka looks bewildered as Al blinks. “What'd you talking about? Oh... oh no. Tasha didn't... she really didn't....”
“She wishes! I was hiding out in a mountain lodge in the Himalayas when Tasha somehow found me! I mean that yelling voice! That biting voice of insulting pleasure. I couldn't take it! I leapt out of the window and ended up falling over the side of the mountain!”
Al cocks his eyes. “Long way down. I presume the usual capture nets saved you from a few hundred meter drop.”
“No thanks to you.”
Al cocks his eyes. “What'd I do? I've been in the burn ward or something here for the past day.”
Just then, Minagi appears at the same front hatch. “{~ Move it fat wad, I.. oh.. mortal Sensei, here! ~}”
Aleaic sees the Agent holding an impossible sight! A McDoogy-King combo meal in a 'real' paper-ply bag! And since paper had barely been seen since electronics and polymers took over 'all' consumer offerings, for some fifteen hundred years or so now... “It's beautiful.” ..Al goes teary eyed at.
Mayuka tries to react.. “~ Ah.. ~” ..before Al swipes up both articles. Al can even feel the vegetable frying oil, that saturated the entire meal down to the baggie bottom! Mayuka just snaps.. “~ No! Bad Sensei! Bad bad!! ~”
Al just cat hisses back! “No! We's needs this!”
“~ FREEZE MISTER!! ~”
Everyone looks, as Tsui, Sasami and Misaki just stand in the living room, Sasami with a small plate of cabbage rolls, Tsui with a small box of rice balls, and Misaki with a small grilled eel plate. Misaki just warns.. “(~ Put... the grease... down. ~)”
-HISS!-
---------------------
Yosho puts down an electronic Japanese pen-brush and picks up a small writing card he put a haiku upon. “If ever need so, be humble when asking for Seconds.” ...and puts it down.
Ket just quips. “One of your best so far.”
Both then just sip their tea. The noise of sound and mind oblivious to them.
---------------------
A kooky stand off begins, with Aleaic and his booty, and his divine foes. He'd make a slight move with either hand, the three would crouch defensively. He'd drop the combo baggie, and the three would set respective food items into 'cocked' positions. He'd breathe, they'd gasp defensively. Aleaic didn't even try to think, he was at a disadvantage there. (Course so focused on this, he doesn't see two balls of fur crawl towards him around the three goddesses.)
Dal just quips soon enough.. “The heck is with them all?”
Minagi just leers over Fat Dal and seethes.. “{~ Do you know where your Tasha is? I do. And closing. ~}”
Dal just wails off like a screaming fat banshee, as Minagi looks back and appreciates the humor of it all at the mortal's and goddess's expense.
“~ Watch it Minagi. ~”
“{~ I am Sasami. ~}”
Al then makes some kind of low, guttural, animal sound. Tsunami just serenely 'puts'. “~ Come dear, we have these healthy for you snacks, all just for you. You don't need that food of ills, these will put bonus years on your life. ~”
Misaki and Sasami just tone out. “~ Bonus years. ~ / (~ The loophole in the system. ~)”
Al just blinks at that. “Uh.. I'm already probably going to live past the fifty-first century you know. Medical science and all that? You guys added? Bonus years mean zilch anymore ol Grim!”
He regrets that, when Misaki zips right up into full facial! In a low, grinding bone tone. “(~ I know you didn't call 'me' that. ~)”
“Hey! Hey, watch it! I'm still armed with cholesterol here!”
“(~ Oh really? ~)”
Al blinks, and then starts to 'feel' for his acquired articles. He keeps feeling for, and for, and... He then hears upstairs. “{~ Oh thanks Ryo and Ken! I was wanting a snack right about now! ~}”
“~ Are you a monster woman? Or just a P.I.G. Pig! ~”
“{~ This while drooling at the chips. ~}”
The slight silence then hears a poly-bag grabbed from a haughty laughing hybrid.
Al realizes.. “I've been robbed.”
Sasami leans over and wags her roll filled chopsticks. “~ You conspired, blackmailed, and attempted sedition. Poor form. ~”
Al just cries.
Resistance is futile, (about since after sometime that Wish was made in fact,) as he's hand fed by two beloved goddesses, and a Council assistant. Minagi just splits equal parts annoyance and amusement from it, as she then hears Mayuka sigh.
“~ I'm becoming jealous. ~”
Minagi just shrugs. “{~ You before me then. ~}” ..and phases off, leaving Mayuka to wander off with hopeful dreams.
Al's stuffed mouth doesn't need such a vein.
---------------------
Tokimi slid down into her seat. “~ It's done then? ~”
Brentai looked back up, equally exasperated. “~ Yes ma'am. The oversight Upgrade is finally complete. We can now better ascertain accurate events down on the mortal world planes as they occur. At least as far as we are responsible for in this Reality. ~”
Bree adds.. “~ Father and the Council send their accolades of regards. ~”
While the Core Central just mull in congratulating themselves deservedly, Tokimi just nods back and sighs. “~ What a chore. Human Upgrades to the System are such a pain. ~” ..this her Operators below look up at, as Tokimi then amends. “~ Growing pains usually are though. But we might miss doing them this time around. That is if... ~” ..she trails off.
The lack of words after isn't prodded. The three Operators just return to their work, now more of the nominal version, in dealing with converting lower dimensional data to pure tenth level data that Jurai Core uses. The conversions alone took a good deal of work. The Operators had secure jobs for the time being as a result.
Which led to.. “~ Administrator Tokimi? ~”
“~ Yes. ~” ..the extravagant goddess noted, as she's handed a Padd, one that unwittingly looks more and more like the Human Sphere versions anymore. It's not what is focused upon, as Tokimi reads a nominal status update from the residence, all of Heaven knows about. Washu's daily report from the mortal plane based Networks, in abundant residence there.
She smirks through the read.. “~ Never a dull of daily moment. Such a light hearted feeling his antics are. ~”
Tokimi's soon manic Rumia like laughing after, 'does' make Brentai, San and Bree consider their jobs.
---------------------
“~ You're not mad at us, are you Sensei-kun? ~”
Tsunami doesn't speak, her happy enough smile already knows Aleaic far too well to worry as much as Sasami does. This is reflected when Al remarks.. “Never. Never not that. I... well.. I rather feel a bit guilty again for being taken care of so dang well. I really have forgotten the last time I knew what it was like to struggle on essentially every front of life.
I know it's more than that Wish and all, but... I wish others could be as fortunate as I am.”
Misaki looks back, as Funaho in now attendance, with the calming of the Aleaic insanity storm, gives a cocked eye look back, as she drinks Yosho's favorite blend. They all hear Al then add. “I don't seem to deserve all this again. I don't do enough to pay you all back for it.”
“~ As you live, is our gift of each day. ~”
Al knows the wise words of goddess incarnite well. They continue to hearten all. “~ You know all reasons for us to be here. We as goddesses feed off the happiness you garner from it, as if you would from gifts most physical, you would cherish. This is as core to us, as you are. We love you for it.
Even if we enforce it at times. ~”
Aleaic's icky burp on cue just makes the celestial lot giggle. (And more than just in the immediate chamber.) Al then quips. “Some things more 'loved' than others about me?”
“~ The good food has a purpose. ~” Sasami readily admits. Aleaic just quips. “Gee, what happened to the little Sasami everyone wanted to marry in the manga?”
“~ This one has baggage attached. ~” Sasami gets up. “~ Now I need to get the picnic ready. ~”
Al blinks. “Already!? I just got essentially I.V. fed through the mouth here!”
Tsui and Sasami just giggle, and just saunter back to the kitchen. Aleaic considers getting up, but then promptly feels his body 'pressed' down in place. “Eh? Don't tell me the Twins are back!”
“(~ Nope. ~)” Funaho quips with a lowered flickered finger most daintily. Misaki adds on. “(~ We need you to get hungry here again. Just sit for a few hours. ~)”
Funaho flits off, and Aleaic is just left alone to his thoughts, and to the sounds of giggling and meal making. At least the smells are excellent as ever. “Which means the eventual 'action'. Uh boy.”
“{~ Sensei is smart. Speaking of which. ~}” ..again upstairs.
“~ Not before me you don't, Demon! ~”
“{~ First is worst then. ~}”
“~ Lord Tenchi will decide that! ~”
Al sighs. “I really don't need to hear this.”
“~ You and me both Sensei. ~” ..ala Tenchi, before the sound of pushing him back into his room is heard. Further sound 'detail' is spared via the ever effective Silence Spell Program. The rest of the time is just listening, and wondering to the kitchen. He only sees Sasami go into Washu's Lab for something, then came out. Nothing to that it seemed. Boredom took care of the rest. Something a self centered story with a not needed mortal character is all about. Soon a rumbly tumbily growls to Al's annoyance, which he can't hit in his pressed state. He just sobs, and unwillingly starts guessing the aromas.
Until...
---------------------
“~ Does Nobuyuki have a brother? ~”
Achika blinks, dabbing perfume on her neck, below both ears. “~ No. But Washu suggested you head on that trip upcoming with Sensei and us of family. ~”
Mayuka smirked. A goddess somehow knows...
---------------------
“~ We're ready. ~”
Aleaic feels his arms and chest lighten. He also sees Sasami floating a good sized picnic basket over her right hand. “Uh, don't you need spell words and chanting to do that? Get sleepy or something doing it?”
“~ This level of magic is like breathing for us, Sensei-kun. ~”
“~ Okay, lets go Beloved. ~”
Aleaic should have realized before now, given history of the last picnic he went on. But even so... even so...
---------------------
-One teleport locale of INCREDIBLE note later.-
Tsunami and Sasami just lay out the spread. The chosen planet's atmosphere was somehow dense enough to have an atmosphere that needed only a light atmospheric dome to support Aleaic's biology. It was funny since the world managed this despite only have a brown dwarf as it's primary. Planetary diversity knew no bounds in the still vastly unexplored universe. The Human Sphere had only still begotten it's nascent steps amongst what was available once they reached Pan-galactic level in civilized-organized note.
And since that all meant the sky was unusually dark, it made for the locale a 'most' breathtaking panorama this time.
“Is... is... is... is... is... g... g... g... Mil... Mil... Mil... Gala... Gala...”
Not every day in 'any' normal lifetime, that one sees a slant thirty-five or so degree down view of sorts, of their own home galaxy, essentially conducting a formal galaxy rise along the planet's northern horizon. The slow rise was a proper touch. Slow enough not to crush him by the planet's gravitational-rotational speed. One learns from such minor details, if not for the awesome display before this unprepared mortal. And the color.. the sharpness of it all. Words are failing again.
“~ I think the choice was impeccable, Big Sis. ~”
“~ The lessons must go on. ~”
They had gotten to spreading out the blue-silver picnic over the plain gray 'grass' that managed to grow here somehow, (a 'lot' of somehows that would make scientists of all kinds, pledge to Hell Core to get at,) when they felt Aleaic drop to his knees, a nice emotional overflow along with.
“I love space. I love it.”
The pairs of soft arms that encapsulate around him, are as intertwining as the sight of all those galactic arms do towards, and out from that central 'bar' construct at the center of the Milky Way Galaxy. They also prove the goddesses correct, as they find incredible joy in sharing the moment with their cherished mortal, one Aleaic fully appreciated for sanity's sake. Nothing better than the anchor of love to face things that are a total shock value.
It helps looking 'up' past the galactic plane, into the grand void 'above' it. “W... wow, that's one pretty huge gas cloud heading for the Milky Way. And that so called 'Snickers' galaxy blob merging in.”
“~ Andromeda Galaxy is over there. ~” ..Tsui points out for Al, the bright yellow-reddish disk of light doing a 'sunset' effect in the opposite direction. Al just gulps. “Only a few hundred million years till it gets here.”
Sasami beams a cracky quip. “~ On that note, we have a surprise for you. ~”
Aleaic has a cocked eye up until the lunch basket is opened. And there, in the middle of a six course dinner fit for... eh, better the Sovereign-President doesn't know yet. A future administration will benefit better. Um.. and in all that glorious food, was an impossible sight.
The soft cakey texture, the filling he knew was fruity and delicious, the wrapper that defied all reasonable laws of biodegradable materials disposal. Even the labeling was impressively cheap and plain. He cried. He really did.
“~ Washu was kind enough Beloved, to find a copy of the original recipe for those Twinkie cakes. The System remembers a 'lot' of details, after all. One never knows. ~”
“I love you.” ..said of two in one breath.
He more than willingly ate the rest of the meal along with his loves. And then he willingly shared something he'd never eat again. The goddesses thought properly such was a cause of the Diabetes Crisis of the early twenty-first to twenty-second centuries, before proper diet education, balanced food preparation nutrition advances, and generational evolution just phased out the problem for the most part. (A problem with post hunter-gather cultures apparently that become technological.) The few cases that crop up now, are caught early with yearly medical scans and cellular inter-stabilization treatments. Besides, they thought it was a bit dry to them.
As for Al and his glucose greed levels, he remembered the baseline for enjoying the rest of the cooking, because he savored that Twinkie like it was the bad thang it was. Woo!
The sugar rush came in handy later for the second 'half' of picnic.
---------------------
Journal Entry - 2nd May 3420
-Recording Terminal / Module 1325B-
Why is my recording journal Padd here with us?
Tsui: “~ Posterity. ~”
Why... um... the Mexican States sombrero getups? Uh... Sasami?
Tsui: “~ There was a Tenchi fan fiction the author liked, that had an Emperor Tenchi with an Ayeka that dressed up like this as a theme. Interesting homage I must say. ~”
Dressed means 'more' than just those hats ladies!!
Sas: “~ Arriba! Time to ride!! ~” -whip-crack!!-
Ulp.. love hurts... every night for about a week now...! ACK!!!
-End datarecording... indeterminate timespan / over thirty minutes / memory chip overload-
---------------------
Washu: -happy humming- “~ Yup, I'm the goddess. ~” ..eating her 'own' cakey-soft.. you know..
---------------------
Tasha finally caught him. “Sheesh, the things I do to actually pay you back.”
“Please! My body is fragile, go easy one me!”
Tasha blinks, having caught Dal near a aerobicise fitness salon in London. (A place a fatso usually avoids like the plague normally.) “What'd you yapping about dope? I'm just paying you back finally for all those credits I borrowed back in college! I told ya I'd pay ya back someday.” ..she however sees how Dal is cringing. “What's with you already?”
“I swear, I'll be good. I really will.”
Tasha of course caught on, and promptly started pummeling the dope. “You did NOT just do the play hard to get ploy on 'me'! Is this why I've been getting funny looks half across the planet?!??!”
Dal at first.. “Please mistress, I...” ..but soon just.. “AIIIEEE!!”
Tasha made sure it was the 'last' time Dal would use that ploy. (Passing patrol units just found it more funny than anything when called. Boy Tasha has endurance.)
---------------------
She looked out her window port, seeing the hover car of the ever hated rivals, those damn Kerenskys. They all were here now. Well, save for one. Why'd she thought she'd ever think of 'that' brat in this day and age, baffles her. But rumor mill in this upstage Coral Springs neighborhood section was rife anymore about the bloke. Even her own family was partially in on it.
“Conspiring for the old days Sister?”
The red head, nigh equal of any supermodel in the Sphere, if not for her haughtiness and snobbery, said flowing hair most long and immaculate, as is her lace cut blouse with slick slacks of both white near blazing, and every bit the lady she should be, if not for a.. well.. said 'power brokering' was meant for anything but a high school center of education. (But yet still was..)
The old school queen wouldn't be upstaged by...
This Bruinuae, the new lady of the Funginas residence hold, quips back to her younger brother Loran.
“No. I feel a need for something new to conspire.”
Looking out, they just leer like gargoyles of old. (..which everyone else is oblivious of.)
Yup, homecoming will be sweet. (Bring antacid aspirin.)
---------------------
(End Part Nine)