Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction ❯ MST Antarctica ❯ One-Shot

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: I do not, nor do I claim to, own any of the characters of the Tenchi Muyo!

series. They belong to Pioneer Entertainment and AIC. Jerrod, Jim, Silverfish, and King

Matt are MY characters. I do own them, so please ask for my permission before using

them, K? Now, on with the the freakin' fic!

===============================================================< /div>

Jerrod the Lone Outlaw presents....

mst antarctica

STARRING:

Jerrod the Lone Outlaw--- Hey! How's it goin'?

Jim the Talking Penguin--- I LOVE YOU, AYEKA!!!! *_*

Mr. Silverfish(the back-up pilot)--- It's a lousy job, but at least I don't

have to read crappy fanfics all day! ^_^

and finally...

King Matt: I shall send them the instruments of their destruction!!

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

===============================================================< /div>

[Dateline: the Pacific Ocean. Wednesday, 2001.]

(A large, abandoned oil platform stands alone on the sea. On top of it

stands a 50-meter tall robotic penguin. Inside of this monstrosity, an 18-year old man

wanders around the metal frame checking instrument panels, making sure that everything

is in proper working order. The man sports a black, cotton hawaiian shirt decorated all

over with a kind of yellow leafed tropical flower. He also wears a pair of blue denim

shorts, white socks, white tennis shoes with grey trim, and a pair of eyeglasses. He has

short, dark hair, blue eyes, and a bit of a heavy build.)

>Man (Looking over a checklist): Let's see now... ballast pumps seem to be in working

order... Rudder systems are go...

(Looks to left, towards the camera.)

Oh, hey there! I didn't expect you here so soon. Well, we're almost ready to head out. Come on, walk with me a little.

(Man begins walking down hallway. Camera follows.)

Oh, jeez! I completely forgot to introduce myself ! I am known as Jerrod the Lone Outlaw. But you can call me Jerrod. I've been doing fic reviews for a while now with my friend, Jim the Talking Penguin. Only recently have I decided to put my skills to use in the form of MSTs. Jim and I seem to have a knack for critisizing people, so I figured that we should put it to some GOOD use for a change. But first, we needed a ship. Now, we couldn't find any starships in our price range so we decided to go with something a little more "down to earth" as it were.

(Stops in front of a ship map on the wall. Points toward it.) What we are in right now is a customized multi-terrain submarine of my own design. Jim named it the "MST Antarctica".

(Smirks.)

BIG surprise coming from a penguin.

(Jerrod takes a right and hops onto an elevator.)

Bridge, please.

(As elevator goes up the theme from "Bonanza" starts to play over

the radio. Jerrod moves his head a little to the beat, then a little more. Finally, he starts

"playing" the song on an air guitar while singing a little, too.)

(on air guitar): BWA-NA-NA-NA,BWA-BWA-NA-NA-NA, BONANZAAAAAA!!!! BWA-NA-NA-NA, BWA-BWA-NA-NA-NA, NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NAAAAA!!!

(This goes on for about five more seconds, when the elevator doors open and a 3-foot tall

Emporer Penguin wearing bermuda shorts enters the car. Jerrod immediately stops. The

penguin just stares at him with a raised eyebrow.)

Umm... Hey, how's it goin', Jim?

>Jim: How many times do I have to tell you NOT to do air guitar solos in the elevator

shaft? I could hear you from three floors up! Bridge please.

(Elevator begins moving again.)

>Jerrod (Pointing to camera): Oh, Jim...

>Jim: Yeah? (Notices camera) What the... we're airing NOW?! We're not even close to launching! Who was the moron in charge of the air-time schedule?! >_<

>Jerrod (whispering): That would be you.

>Jim (O_O): What?

>Jerrod: Yep.

(Jim sighs, then crosses his flippers over his chest and leans back against the wall.)

Jim: Oh, this is just what I needed. Oh, well. I might as well give you some background on myself.

(Looks at camera.)

I was born in Canuck County, about 20 miles away from the southeastern coast of Antarctica. My dad worked in the fish mines...

>Jerrod (rased eyebrow): FISH mines?

>Jim: Who's telling the story here?!! You, or me?! Anyway, my mom had a part time job as an Avon lady. When I grew up, I left home for the U.S. of A. There, I later met up with Jerrod. We got ourself a cheap, little bungalow to live in and work out of, and now we're gonna live here on this really COOL submarine! I enjoy fish, video games, and anime. My favorite anime gal is...

(Zones off.)

*sigh* Princess Ayeka of Juraii from the Tenchi Muyo! OAV.

>Jerrod: So I noticed. You've got pictures of her plastered all over your room...

>Jim: Naturally.

>Jerrod: You attack ANYONE who badmouths her...

>Jim: Of course.

>Jerrod: And you have a little "Ayeka Shrine" built in the back of your closet.

(Jim's eyes bug-out, and grabs Jerrod by the shirt collar and pulls him down to his own

eye level.)

Gyaa!!

>Jim (irate): HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?!!! WHO TOLD YOU?!!!

(Begins shaking Jerrod violently.)

>Jerrod:AA-AAA-AAAAGH!! I FOUND IT WHEN I WAS DOING YOUR LAUNDRY TWO WEEKS AGO!

(The elevator stops moving. Jim releases Jerrod.)

>Jim: I'll deal with YOU later!

===============================================================< /div>

[The Bridge]

(The doors open and Jerrod and Jim step out onto the bridge of the ship, located in the

head of the Antarctica. Located at the helm is a silverfish sitting on a booster seat a a few

books. He's wearing pirate pants and a bandana around his head, the front of which reads

"Keel Haul the Maggots!" He's pretending he's steering the ship.)

>Silverfish (pirate accent): AARRRRGH!! Turn rudder 40 degrees to port, ensign! Aye aye, cap'n! BBBRRRRRRRRMMMMMM...

(Notices his "commanding officers".)

OH! Umm... Howdy do, Outlaw! Penguin.

>Jim (ignoring the silverfish's "driving practice"): At ease, Mr. Silverfish. Any messages for Jerrod or myself?

>Mr. Silverfish: What in the bloody hell do I look like?! Your personal secretary?

>Jerrod (pointing at Mr. Silverfish): Actually, you look like a royal goofball wearing that getup.

>Mr. Silverfish (suddenly dropping pirate accent for a New Yorker one): Hey, hey, hey! Don't you be dis'n my duds! This is the EXACT kind o' outfit 'dat my anscenta', Silverbeard the Pirate, wore when he would go around loot'n an' pillage'n! So watch it!

>Jerrod & Jim: Whatever.

>Mr. Silverfish: Anyway, that dude ya' guys hired left a message. Said ya' should call 'm back ASAP.

>Jerrod: Alrighty then. Jim, patch us through.

>Jim (salutes): Okey-dokey!

(Jim heads over to a consel with "Jim" enscribed on the top. He punches a few buttons

and a blank view screen drops down in front of the crew. The screen turns to static, then

a small boy sitting on a throne appears on the screen. He appears to be no older than 12

years old. He has blue eyes, short blonde hair, and is dressed like King Louis XIV. To top

it all off he wears a crown on his head. At present time, he is eating a Burger King Kid's

Meal.)

>Boy (eating a Whopper): *chomp* *chomp* *smack* *smack* *GULP*

(looks up at screen)

Hmm? AAAAAAGH!! How DARE you interrupt my lunch!! You stupid peasants! How did you get this number?!

>Jim: We have Caller ID. ^_^

>Boy: Ugh! Stupid, STUPID Caller ID! Guards! Find the one who invented that stupid contraption and send him to the gallows!! King Matt commands it!

>Guard (off screen): Yes, your majesty!

>Jerrod: Hey, Matt. Mind if...

>King Matt (infuriated): How DARE you address me without my proper title! Guards! Bring me his head!!

>Jerrod (waving hands in front of him): No! No! No! I apologize, your kingship!

>King Matt: Guards! Belay that order! Now, what is it you want, Outlaw.

>Jerrod: Yeah, um, you had something you wanted to talk to us about?

>King Matt: Ahh, yes, yes. As you recall, you have called upon my services to deliver to you the worst, how do you say... fanfics? Yes, that is right. The worst "fanfics" that my royal vissiers could find on the internet. Now, you requested that they be of the genre called "Anime", did you not?

>Jim (looking bored): Believe it, Matty.

>King Matt (pointing toward Jim): GUARDS! GUUAAAARDS!!! Bring me his head!

>Jim (freakin' out): AAAAGH!! NO! NO! NO! WAIT! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!

(holding up his hands pleadingly)

PLEEEEAAAAASE DON'T KILL MEEEEEE!!!

>King Matt: Oh, alright. Guards! Cancel that last decree!

(thinking to himself)

#Good God, what a wuss.#

Now, where was I? Ah, yes! My vissiers have found dozens upon DOZENS of wretched fanfics that could suit your needs.

>Jerrod: That's great!

>Jim: We're in business!

>Jerrod (to Jim): You know, the theater's up and running,so...

>Jim: Hmmm...... Ah, what the hell!

>Jerrod (to King Matt): Your Highness, when can we get the first fic?

>King Matt: I shall send it immediately! The "fic", as you call it, is called "The Sopranos Tenchi Style".

>Jerrod: Hmm.... Where have I heard THAT title before. Hey, um, who's the author of that fic?

>King Matt: Let me take a look. (looks through file) Ah! It says that the author is some guy named "SSJ Kagato".

>Jerrod (O_O): WHAAAAAAT?!!!

>King Matt (confused): Um, that is what the file says. Do you know this man?

>Jerrod: You'd better believe it! That guy is a sleazy, no-talent, goat-lickin', French jackoff!!!

(everyone stares at Jerrod in shock)

>Jim: I'm getting the impression that you don't like him very well.

>Jerrod: Not in the least!

>King Matt: Right! Well, have fun you two! Ciao.

(view screen turns off and raises back into ceiling)

>Jim: Okay, now what?

>Jerrod: Very simple my friend... (stands up and points to main door) TO THE THEATER!! Mr. Silverfish?

>Mr. Silverfish: Gotcha, Big J!

(Mr. Silverfish types a command into the main computer. Suddenly, the theme song to

the 1960's "Batman" TV show blares over the P.A. system as Jerrod and Jim bolt out the

side entrance to the bridge. They turn at the 4th door to their left, then go straight about

30 yards, where they come upon a bust of John Elway. Jerrod tilts the head back,

exposing a red button hidden in the bust. Jim jumps up and hits it with his flipper,

causing a secret door to open up in the wall. The duo enter the passageway, and continue

down a flight of stairs. At the bottom, the two pass through a revolving door, and into the

theater.)

===============================================================< /div>

[The Theater]

(Jerrod enters first and sits in the third chair from the right. Jim sits in the chair on

Jerrod's right side.)

>Jim: Alright, people! It's showtime!

>Jerrod: Ok, Jim, listen up. You see those little paper bags in front of you? Those are the barf bags. You know, in case of an emergency.

>Jim: Gotcha. What else do we got?

>Jerrod(checking around): Well, we have Pepto Bismal, Tums, Alka-Seltzer, Tylenol, Ibuprofen, horse tranquilizers...

>Jim: HORSE tranquilizers?!

>Jerrod: Just an added precation. You got all those?

>Jim(checking): Hmm... Yep.

>Jerrod: Allllllllllllrighty, then! Mr. Silverfish! Start the fic!

>Mr. Silverfish(pirate accent): Aye aye, cap'n!

(Jerrod and Jim lean back in their seats and prepare to watch.)

>Jerrod: Hey, what's this fic rated, anyway?

(Jim picks up a program and starts looking though it.)

>Jim: Ah! Here it is. (reading from program) " 'The Sopranos Tenchi Style'. Rating... NC-17?!!!

>Jerrod & Jim: OH, CRAP!!!

The Sopranos Tenchi style(the show kicks ass!)

>Jerrod & Jim (banging their fists on thier armrests ): BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT!

I do not own any of these characters.

>Jim: Thank God!

Though I would want to own Ryoko If you know what I mean.

>Jim: Whose "Ryoko If"?

>Jerrod: I think it's a typo.

>Jim: Oh.

Sad thing Tenchi is married to Ayeka right NOW.

>Jim: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY, GOD, WHY!!!!!

(Jerrod sweatdrops)

But the marriage wont last.

>Jim (Hopeful): YES! I'VE STILL GOT A SHOT!

>Jerrod (hands Jim two pills): Here. Take these.

>Jim (suspiciously): And what exactly are THOSE?

>Jerrod: The horse tranquilizers. :)

>Jim: Don't EVEN try it, pal!

"Hey Ayeka get me some f**king breakfast now!"

>Jim: HEY! You can't talk to her like THAT!! Hey, wait a minute... "get me some f**king breakfast"? (turns to Jerrod) Since WHEN does Kagato use those little starry-things in his cuss words?

>Jerrod (grinning like a chesher cat): Since I decided to take the liberty of CENSORING every F-word in his STUPID story!!

>Jim: Why?

>Jerrod: 'Cause I KNOW it'll piss him off! ^_^

>Jim:You're strange.

>Jerrod: I know. ^_^

"Shut the hell up Tenchi Im cooking breakfast right now".

>Jim (freakin' out): SHE'S OUT OF CHARACTER! SHE-IS-OUT-OF-CHARACTER!!!

>Jerrod: AND out of punctuation, apparently.

"Screw the breakfast then, I'm going to the Bada-Bing"

>Jerrod (Tenchi): And then I'll go hit the Bada-Bang and the Bada-Boom!

(strip joint 4 all you idiots out there)

>Jerrod (psychiatrist): I sense hostility. What were your parents like?

>Jim (SSJ Kagato): They'd f**king beat me regularly with a f**king ugly stick!

>Mr. Silverfish (via intercom): That's about right.

Tenchi arrived and his mob greeted him.

>Jerrod (Budweiser guy): WHAZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!!

His right hand man was Kagato.

>Jim: Tenchi's arch-nemisis is his "Number 1"?

>Jerrod: Worse. I think this MIGHT be an attempt at a self-insertion.

>Jim: Oh, crap. That's JUST what we need!

Followed by Yosho,

>Jerrod & Jim: YOSHO?!!

>Jim: Will this insanity EVER end?!

Noboyuki , Kain,

>Jerrod (Paul Heyman): It's the "Big Red Machine"!!

and last Dr. Clay. "Guys I need some one whacked" said Tenchi.

>Jerrod (goon): Sure, boss. Uh... which "one".

>Jim (ditto): Yeah, boss. The "one" down the street? The "one" at the Garden? What?

"What ever you want T" answered Kagato.

>Jerrod (Tenchi as Joe Peshi): T? What's that supposed to mean.

>Jim (Kagato): Nothin'. I just called you "T".

>Jerrod: What, you mean like Iced "T"? "T"-bone steak? Like I'm some kind of f**king slab of meat here for your amusement?!

>Jim: No, no no! I just called you "T", that's all!

>Jerrod:....Okey-dokey.

"I want Sakuya whacked"

>Jerrod & Jim (groaning): Not THIS plot again.

>Jim: Can't you people come up with someone else to hate OTHER than Sakuya?!

>Jerrod: Really! It's getting pretty redundant.

"How would you like it done T."

>Jerrod & Jim: QUESTION MARK, YOU IDIOT!! QUESTION MARK!!!

>Jerrod (Tenchi): Oh, and I'd like her medium well with South Hampton mushrooms, please. ^_^

>Jim: EWWWWW!!! That's digusting!

"Invite her to dinner at my house" "Sure thing T"

>Jerrod (Tenchi): And ask her to wear this. (holds up a bottle of ketchup and a clove of parsley) Heh heh.

>Jim (glaring at Jerrod): Ok, seriously bro. Can you PLEASE ease off on the cannible jokes? It's disturbing.

A letter arrived in the mail for Sakuya.

>Jerrod (reading letter): Sakuya- Please baste yourself in Worstershire Sauce and come over to my house. -Tenchi

>Jim: AAAAAUUUGH!! Jeez Luwheez, Outlaw!! What the hell is the MATTER with you today?!!

>Jerrod: I've been having flashbacks of AAA- Phucknutz's fic, "Tenchi the Cannible".

>Jim: Ohhhhh. Sorry.

>Jerrod (holding head in hands): The horror... the unspeakable HORROR!

Dear Sakuya,

>Jerrod (Sakuya reading the letter): She who reads these words of wit, eats her little balls of... Oh, now THAT'S immature even for THIS fic!

Please come to dinner at 8:00 then after we can have hot wild sex.

Tenchi Soprano

>Jim: *sigh* That boy's becoming more like his old man every day.

>Jerrod: And he was such a good boy, too.

"Oh joy A dinner party with Tenchi. Maybe he does love me."

>Jim: For someone who's supposed to be happy, she sure isn't acting like it.

>Jerrod (Droopy): You know what? I'm happy.

"I hate that bicth" shouted Tenchi.

>Jerrod: "Bicth"?

>Jim: Typo!

"God damn 1 simply time 8:00 and she is late!"

>Jerrod: Um.... what?

>Jim: Oh, great. NOW SSJ Kagato is DRUNK!

>Jerrod (SSJ Kagato): HOw dRy I *hick* am! HoW drY i *hick* Am!

"Hello Tenchi sorry I'm late" said Sakuya.

>Jerrod: ...in her usual monotone voice.

>Jim (director): Okay, once again. But this time with FEELING!

"It wont matter soon" mumbled Tenchi.

>Jim: What's a "wont"?

"What was that Tenchi" asked Sakuya.

>Jerrod: Once again, I must point out the lack of what is called a (gestures) "question mark".

"Nothing dear".

>Jim: Ok, um, whose talking here?

>Jerrod (shaking head): No clue.

They were eating pasta when Tenchi pulled out a Desert Eagle.

>Jerrod (Bart Simpson): Go, my pretties. Kill, KILL!

"Hey bitch I mean Sakuya."

>Jim (sarcastically): Nice save.

"What honey"

>Jerrod: Yeah, this guy DEFINITELY has NOT heard of "spell check".

>Jim: Nope.

"Do you know if this gun would blow off your head?"

>Jerrod & Jim (Sakuya): Well, DUUUH!!!

"I don't know"

(Jerrod & Jim facefault) *WHUMP*

>Jim (pulling himself up): Good GOD, what an AIRHEAD!! Not even MIHOSHI'S that dense!

>Jerrod (glaring at Jim): Watch it, buddy boy.

"Well let's test it now."

>Jerrod: I know where THIS is going!

Said Tenchi blowing her head from her shoulders.

>Jim (Big Bad Wolf): I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll BLOOOOOW your brains out!

>Jerrod (grocery store clerk): *KZZZK* Clean-up, aisle five!

"Damn idiot bitch" said Tenchi finishing his meal.

>Jim: He's STILL eating after THAT?

>Jerrod: That's wrong. That is SO wrong.

Ayeka walked in.

>Jerrod (Ayeka): Damn it, Tenchi! I just had the floor waxed!

"Thank God you killed that bitch" said Ayeka with relief.

>Jerrod (commercial announcer): Because SHE'S been using her Preperation-H.

(Jim bitch-slaps Jerrod, knocking out of his seat and onto the floor.) *SLAP* *WHUMP*

>Jim: My love is NOT on Preperation-H, GOT IT?!!

>Jerrod (knocked silly): Oooog..... Bunnies have rabbits so they can have babies.

(Jim sweatdrops)

"Too bad you will be joining her"

>Jim (O_O): Um... what?

>Jerrod (pulling himself up): What'd I miss?

said Tenchi finishing off his clip.

>Jim (mortified): NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! (breaks down and cries) WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

(Jerrod puts his arm around him and pets him on the head, trying to calm him down.)

>Jerrod (soothingly): There, there bro. It's okay.

(Jim blows his nose on Jerrod's shirt.) *HOOOOONK*

>Jerrod (staring at shirt): Ummmmm.... feel, um, any better?

>Jim: *sniff* Yeah, I guess so.

Tenchi walked into the Bada-Bing

>Jerrod: As opposed to the Bada-Bang and the Bada-Boom.

with a garbage bag. "Got rid of your wife too I see" said Yosho.

>Jim (again mortified): OH MY GOD! SHE'S IN THERE, ISN'T SHE?!!!

(Jerrod nods his head)

> Jim: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!!

"Stupid f**king women" said Dr. Clay.

>Jerrod: Just like the rest of this fic.

Ryoko was 1 of the strippers and walked in the back.

>Jerrod (sarcastically): *gasp* Ryoko as a stripper?! Brilliant!

"Hey Tenchi" she said seductively.

>Jim: As if she says it any other way.

>Jerrod: Well, there's also pleadingly, sorrowful, happily, sinisterly...

>Jim: Okay, okay! I got it!

"Hey lets f**k" said Tenchi.

(Jerrod & Jim stare wide-eyed in shock.)

-Two minutes later-

>Jerrod: "Hey... let's f**k"?

>Jim: That's what he said.

(Jerrod & Jim look at each other, then at the screen, then at each other, then burst out

into a racouse laughter.)

>Jerrod & Jim: BWA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *pant* *pant* *pant* *pant* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

>Jerrod (trying to catch breath): Whe-*gasp* when did *gasp* Tenchi *gasp* get a back *gasp* bone?!

>Jim (also trying to catch breath): I know! *gasp* *wheez* He nev- *gasp* never *gasp* came up with *wheez* anything even close to *gasp* asking her to *gasp* lunch *gasp* on ANY of the *gasp* shows.

>Jerrod: Well, there WAS that episode of "Tenchi in Tokyo".

>Jim: Yeah, but who counts THAT piece o' crap, anyway?

>Jerrod (nods head in agreement): True, true.

"I thought you'd never ask" said Ryoko while she started to take off her clothes.

(Jerrod & Jim start "air guitaring" porno music.)

Ryoko whispered something to Tenchi.

>Jim (Ryoko): I'm actually a gay guy from a dip-water asteroid.

>Jerrod: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWW!! THAT'S SICK, MAN! GROSS!!

>Jim: I call it "payback" for those cannible comments.

Tenchi busted in the door.

>Jerrod: Use the doorknob, you idiot!

"Which 1 of you cock suckers f**ked my ho".

>Jerrod & Jim (coughing): *cough* *co-NOBOYUKI-ugh* *cough* NOBOYUKI-*cough*

"I did" said Noboyuki.

>Jim: I didn't say nothin'.

>Jerrod (shakes head): Nope! Me neither!

"Bad move asshole" said Tenchi filling Noboyuki full with lead. "Any one else want to f**k my ho" asked Tenchi.

>Mr. Silverfish (via intercom): ME!

(Jerrod & Jim look up at P.A system. Large sweatdrops grow on their heads.)

>Jerrod: Um.....

>Jim: Well, that was.... uh....

"T you know we would never disrespect you like that perverted asshole" said Kagato.

>Jerrod & Jim (pounding on armrests with their fists): BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT!

Tsunami was a cop and busted down the door.

>Jerrod: HA! And Kagato thinks that I need writers class?! BULLSHIT!!

(Jim looks at Jerrod nervously.)

Everyone hid around the corner except Tenchi.

>Jim: 'Cause Tenchi's a dumbass.

"You know bitch, it's rude to bust in like that" said Tenchi calmly.

>Jerrod (Tenchi): Emphasis on the BUST! WOWWY WOW WOW WOW!!

>Jim: Daaaaaaaaaaaamn.

"Your under arrest scumbag."

>Jim: You know, you'd THINK that a goddess could come up with a better line than THAT!

>Jerrod: Keep in mind who the writer is, bro.

>Jim: Oh, yeah!

Then Kagato stepped in front of the door. "What are you duing in front of the doorway?"

asked Tsunami.

>Jerrod (other beer Budwiser guy): WHAT ARE YOU DUIIIING?!

"Why bust down the door bitch"

>Jim (Tsunami): I forgot my key.

"That's it I blowin you away"

>Jerrod: Okay, this here is an example of what we MSTers call (gestures) "Shampoo Speak".

>Jim (taking notes): Got it.

"Funny it seems your threatening ME" "That's right scum" "Wrong"

Kagato pulled out

>Jerrod: Good choice of words for an NC-17.

a AK-47 and started to blow Tsunami away limb by limb.

>Jim: Ouch.

AT end of Kagato's clip

>Jim: "Shampoo Speak"!

Tsunami's body was in 11 different pieces.

>Jerrod: Good LORD! What kind of ammo was in that thing?!

Yosho came out from around the corner and said "Stupid f**king cop.

>Jim: My, my, my! What language! And from a HOLY man to boot!

"Hey Clay clean up this f**king mess" said Tenchi.

>Jerrod (Dr.Clay) : Darn it, Tenchi! I'm a doctor, not a janitor!

"Sure thing boss."

Jerrod & Jim: Suck up.

Tenchi and Kagato could be seen in the distance throwing 3 "garbage bags" in the water.

>Jim (pointing at screen): LITTERBUGS!

Well that's all for now.

>Jerrod: Finally!

This is also my 1st fic. I shall return with more blood and Ryoko f**king.

>Jim: Thanks for the warning!

>Jerrod: Come on, bro. Let's get the f**k out of here. Man that fic sucked.

>Jim: Damn straight! (flips off screen)

(Jerrod & Jim leave the theater.)

===============================================================< /div>

[The Bridge]

(Jerrod sits down at the captain's chair, while Jim and Mr. Silverfish sit in front of him at

the helm controls.)

>Jerrod: Jim, engine status.

>Jim (punching buttons on his keybord): Everything's A-OK.

>Jerrod: Mr Silverfish, system status.

>Mr. Silverfish (pirate accent): Arrgh! All system's are good ta' go, cap'n!

>Jerrod: Well, in that case, Computer! Bring up Primary Helm Control!

>Computer (female voice): Affirmative.

(Two joysticks pop up out of Jerrod's armrest, while a rather large, semi-circular control

board comes up out of the floor, surrounding the front of the captains chair.

Multi-colored lights and buttons come on in the process.)

>Computer: Primary Helm Control established, Captain Outlaw.

>Jerrod (buckling himself in): Groovy. Guys, you ready?

>Jim & Mr. Silverfish (all buckled in): Ready!

>Jerrod: Well, I sure hope you're ready, 'cause HERE WE GO!!! (Punches the button on his control panel marked "Go". He then pushes the joysticks forward.)

( Outside, the MST Antarctica's "eyes" glow green as the vehicle itself walks toward the

edge of the oil platform. It stops at the edge, where it proceeds to extend its "wings". The

Antarctica croutches down, then leaps into the air and dives into the ocean. Once

underwater, two engine thrusters extend from the feet the engines fire up, and the MST

Antarctica flies forward. It does a barrell roll and a double loop-the-loop before turning

right and continuing straight ahead.)

>Jim (voice-over): So, where to now, Outlaw?

>Jerrod (voice-over): To wherever to waves take us, Jimbo!

>Mr. Silverfish (voice-over): Arrgh! Sounds like a plan to me!

===============================================================< /div>

[Castle Montague (King Matt's house)]

(King Matt is sitting on his throne, reading Jerrod and Jim's review of SSJ Kagato's fic.

When he is done, he hands to a guard who places it in storage.)

>King Matt (to camera): Well, that SSJ Kagato is certainly a VULGAR fellow, isn't he! I

can see why Jerrod dislikes him so. I'm going to have to send them more of that wretches

trash in the future. Anyway, Jerrod and Jim give the fic The Sopranos Tenchi style 1 star.

On behalf of Jerrod the Lone Outlaw, Jim the Talking Penguin, and that strange Mr.

Silverfish, this is King Matt of the House of Montague saying...

>Female Voice (off-camera): MATTHEW P. MONTAGUE!! TAKE OUT THE TRASH THIS INSTANT!!!

>King Matt (surprised): YIPES! It's my mother! Gotta go! (picks up remote control and turns off camera) *CLICK*

END

===============================================================< /div>

Author's notes: Well, that's it! That's the end (finally) of my very FIRST episode of "MST

Antarctica". Sorry it was so long, but there was just so much I wanted to say, and so

many riffing oportunities! Special thanks to my sister, Jami, for proofreading it for me,

and also thanks to SSJ Kagato, to whom none of this would have been possible had he

not gone and piss me off. Hope you enjoyed it! This was my second fic ever, in case

you're interested. Adios, dudes!

-Jerrod the Lone Outlaw

Stinger-

Tenchi: Go damn 1 simply time 8:00 and she is late!"