Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction ❯ MST of "Lessons in Death" ❯ MST of "Lessons in Death" ( One-Shot )

[1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, Bridge]

We see Mike typing on his computer, while Ayeka, Tom, and Crow are watching.

"Send `me' lot of junk mail, will ya!?" Mike muttered while typing. "This'll teach ya!"

While he was typing, Gypsy walked in. She looked over Mike's shoulder.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Don't talk to him right now." Said Crow. "He's sending millions of SPAM's to millions of companies, thus overflowing their inboxes!"

"Not only that," continued Tom, "but each SPAM contains an incurable virus. They'll never be able to trace it's origins!"

"Oh." Said Gypsy. "What do you think of it, princess?"

"I think that they deserve what they get!" she answered.

After several seconds, Mike finally sent the virus. Laughing, he turned off the computer. Then he turned to the group.

"Well, all finished." Then he stood up. "Even sent one to a certain dictator as a goodbye present."

The bots were surprised by this, but cheered anyways.

"Wait until Pearl goes to check her mail!" said Crow excitedly. "She'll flip over this!"

Suddenly, the sirens went off.

"That must the depressing fic!" shouted Ayeka.

"We got fic sign!" shouted Mike.

So the group rushed to the theater.

*********************************************************

[6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Theater]

[Everyone takes their seats.]

AYEKA: I hope this ends quickly. That SPAM was very boring.

MIKE: Well Pearl "did" say that this fic was short.

>This story is ment to depress, and that only.

AYEKA: I knew we wouldn't enjoy it!

MIKE: Well, at least he's being honest.

> I know that there are some things that are wrong with it,

CROW: Besides its existence.

> but its not improtant so please don't tell me about the mistakes I make.

MIKE: As long as their not logical flaws.

> Also I write this because I am depressed to an extent because my girlfriend of over a year left me.

AYEKA: Oh no. Now I "know" this is going to end horribly!

CROW: Well, at least he "had" a girlfriend, unlike "someone" I know.

MIKE: *ignoring that remark*

>Enough talk, on with the show!!! Heh



MIKE: (as author) By the way, I am not responsible if you hang yourself after reading this.
TOM: What? No disclaimer?

>Ryoko simply could not take it anymore. She had waited so long and tried so hard to win Tenchi's >affection.

CROW: Tenchi, however, was seeing other guys.

AYEKA: *glaring at Crow*

She had tried everything she could think of, but all of her advances were met with fear and annoyance.

AYEKA: Well what was she thinking?! She "does" make herself a bother!

> She knew in her heart that Tenchi loved the other,

MIKE: Mihoshi?

TOM: Washu?

CROW: Nagi?

AYEKA: Me!

> Ayeka had won finally, so what was the use of Ryoko sticking around?

TOM: Um, did I miss something? When did "this" happen?

MIKE: Tenchi Forever.

TOM: Oh.

AYEKA: Who care's how it happened! The point is that "I" won!

>Ryoko was sitting on Tenchi's bed, he was at school now, crying and turning a small metal object >around in her fingers.

CROW: Wink-wink. Nudge-nudge.

AYEKA: Does your mind "always" have to be in the gutter?!

CROW: Then "you" tell me what she's doing on Tenchi's bed holding a small unnamed object.

AYEKA: *blushing* I'd rather not think about it!

> She had decided that she had no use left in life now that Tenchi was Ayeka's, Tenchi was her life >and now that he was another's she felt no use to go on.

MIKE: So she's leaving?

AYEKA: I hope so.

TOM: So she's going on a killing spree?

AYEKA I hope not!

CROW: Or she's going to kill her competition?

AYEKA: She had better not!

>He would however find out how much Ryoko loved him, she was determined to do that much at >least. Even if it had come to this, she was determined to do it and show him how she felt. She had >planned it out all this morning while sitting on Tenchi's bed crying, and now it was time to start the >show.

TOM: Hey! It's a Tenchi version of "Ukyo gets what she deserves!"

CROW: I wonder if it's going to be just as stupid?

>Ryoko stopped turning the small metal object,

CROW: The same candle Ukyo used in "her" fic.

AYEKA: *disgusted by Crows vulgarity*
MIKE: Crow…..

> a razor blade from a box opener on Tenchi's desk, and held it to her wrist.

CROW: I was right. It "is" just as stupid as "Ukyo gets what she deserves."

TOM: Except with killing.

> She had watched enough TV shows to know that what she was about to do would work, only that it >might take a little longer for her.

CROW: So Ryoko can grow her hand back, but she can "die" from a slit wrist?

> She pressed the razor a little harder into her wrist and then without a second thought, slashed >away, laying her left wrist wide open.

AYEKA: *face whitens*

CROW: That really sucks! She was my favorite character.

AYEKA: I don't care what kind of a person Ryoko was, she didn't have to end it like that.

TOM: This is assuming she "could" end it like this.

>Deep red blood poured from the wound and her left hand quickly went cold. "Better make this >quick." She thought, her blood was leaving her body quicker than she had expected. Ryoko put her >slashed wrist to Tenchi's bed sheets and crudely drew what looked like a fishhook, she then drew >one right next to it facing the other way. The last thing she did was fill in the space between the two >with more blood.

CROW: (as announcer) Whether you're in love, or just trying to kill yourself, there's "always" time for arts and crafts!

>She looked down at her handiwork with approval, he would get the message, and with that she laid >down next to her crude drawing and died. Blood was everywhere, all over her; all over parts of his >bed, on the floor and blood flowed sluggishly out of her wrist even after she was dead. Her blood >drawing remained intact though, quickly soaking into his bed staining it forever.

CROW: Thanks to the magic of plot contrivance.

AYEKA: *depressed* Now I feel bad for Ryoko.

>About the same time Ryoko was slitting her wrist Ayeka was sitting under her tree, a metal object of >her own in her hands.

AYEKA: *wide eyed*

MIKE: Well, it looks like you're about to join her.
AYEKA: I don't feel "that" bad for her!

> She had come too much the same conclusion as Ryoko had only in her mind and heart; Ryoko had >won Tenchi instead of her.

TOM: *to Ayeka* You guys are coming off as pretty stupid in this fic, aren't you?

AYEKA: *frowning* Apparently!

> Ayeka was crushed, why did Tenchi choose Ryoko?

CROW: Well, I can think of a few reasons.

AYEKA: Don't you "even" start naming them!

> She knew that he had, even though he hadn't said so she saw it in how he looked at her.

CROW: So you seen the ending of "Tenchi Forever" too?

AYEKA: That ending was merely a perspective!

CROW: Yeah, by the creators.
AYEKA: I'm no longer listening to you!

>Ayeka had nothing left to live for, she couldn't go back to Jurai because that wasn't her home >anymore, she felt they wouldn't accept her there.

TOM: …….The hell?! That doesn't make any sense!

AYEKA: If anything, father would be "happy" that I've given up on Lord Tenchi!

MIKE: Plot contrivance, remember?

> She definitely couldn't stay here, she would only get in the way, so she decided that she would go >away from everybody. Tenchi had been all that she lived for,

TOM: Yeah! Who even "cares" about her sister, friends "or" family?!

AYEKA: Besides. Didn't I say that if it looks like I wouldn't win Lord Tenchi's heart, I would simply go back to Jurai?

> and now he was gone, stolen by an evil, slutty, ugly, beast of a woman. This morning she had >thought of a way out, all of the tears she had shed between when she had woken up this morning >and right now were now drying up.
>She had also watched enough TV shows to know that what she was about to do would obtain the >desired effect, and finding Tenchi's Father's gun was easy enough,

MIKE: How convenient.

AYEKA: Since when did honorable father own a gun?!

> just like in those commercials on TV.

AYEKA: So I'm being compared to a child?!

> Ayeka looked down at the gleaming hunk of metal in her hands and slowly raised it to her forehead, >and then she laid down not wanting to hurt the tree behind her. The gun was a .357 magnum and >was more than powerful enough to do the job.

TOM: Yeah, powerful enough to blow her brains out!

AYEKA: *face whitening again*

>Ayeka took one last look at the sky before she closed her eyes and pressed the barrel of the gun >harder into her forehead. "I'm sorry Sasami, please forgive me."

AYEKA: (as herself) I am ending my own life due to plot contrivance. I want out of this story before I…….*shudders* I can't finish it!

CROW: *finishing* Before it turns lemony.

> was the last thing in Ayeka's mind when she pulled the trigger. Her body jumped a bit at the impact >of the bullet as it tore through her head, blowing the back of it off and finally burying itself deep into >the ground.

MIKE: *feeling ill*

AYEKA: *faints*

>There wasn't a lot of blood, and what little there was got absorbed by the ground.

MIKE: *feels better* Wait a minute! Wasn't that a magnum?

CROW: And why aren't blood and brains, not to mention chunks of skull all littered about anyways?

TOM: What a jyp!

>The entire back of Ayeka's head was decimated by the shot, but the ground held it in place so all in >all it was a very clean death, for now at least.

MIKE: *confused* So……Ayeka was standing when she fired the shot. The impact sent her flying, and the blood and stuff stayed in her skull, rather than spreading out everywhere. And she used a magnum?

CROW: Yep. I think that about sums it up.

>Sasami heard the gunshot clearly and looked up from where she was playing with Ryo-oh-ki, but she >dismissed it for Ryoko and Ayeka fighting again. She really did wish those two would quit fighting, >the house would be so much more peaceful without them yelling and trying to kill each other.

CROW: Well don't you worry, little Sasami. Ayeka and Ryoko won't be fighting each other any more.

AYEKA: Crow?

CROW: Yes?

AYEKA: Shut up!

>Washu was in her laboratory, typing away at her holographic keyboard, but not really paying >attention to what she was doing.

TOM: Little did she know, she was setting the house on fire.

> She had a very bad feeling in the back of her mind that wouldn't go away,

MIKE: (as Washu) Mihoshi is somewhere around here, I just know it!

> and it was when she decided to check Ryoko's thoughts that her suspicions were proved true.

CROW: (as Washu) So "Ryoko" is the one who took the dew off Tenchi's lily!

AYEKA: *to Crow* How vulgar!

MIKE: Actually, he's said worse.

> There was simply nothing there, no brain activity whatsoever,

AYEKA: So is this still Ryoko, or has the narration moved on to Mihoshi?

> even if Ryoko was asleep there would have been something going on in her brain, some activity,

CROW: IfyaknowwhatImean.

> but there was none.
>This could only mean one thing;

TOM: (as Washu) I've lost my ability to mentally invade my daughters privacy!

> her daughter was dead, gone forever.

TOM: Or that.

MIKE: Or that Ryoko could've gone far beyond reach of communication.

> Washu fell to her knees and began to cry, her hands covering her face.

CROW: (as Washu) Don't look at meeee!!!

> And then she made a horrible realization. She realized that you could never escape pain,

MIKE: Actually, I discovered that a long time ago.

CROW: We discovered it ever since Joel built us.

> and the harder you tried, the worse the pain got.

TOM: Much like deciphering bad fics.

> Oh you could run from pain, but it would catch up with you eventually, and it would bite into you >very, very hard.

CROW: Now that's not true at all! Joel escaped the satellite!

AYEKA: She means that metaphorically.

CROW: Oh. *realizes something* Hey! Joel ditched us!

TOM: You're right! *to author* Thanks for depressing us!

>After her first child had been taken away from her

Ayeka: *remembering what caused her to have to stay here and watch this* Damn CPS! We do "not" overwork Sasami!

BOTS: *turn the other way*

> Washu had been depressed for a very long time, not wanting to do anything but curl up and cry. >She had been able to move on however and eventually created Ryoko. Washu had loved Ryoko so >deeply, loved her like a mother, even if she hardly showed it. Now it had happened again, her child >had been taken away from her and she was left with nothing.

TOM: *confused* Couldn't she just create another Ryoko? That "is" how she moved on, isn't it?

AYEKA: That's not the point! *realizes who she's talking about* Scratch that! I'm just as confused as you are.

>Ryoko had been Washu's one reason to go on with life, science was just a hobby, and now Ryoko >was dead. In her vastly scientific mind Washu could only think of one thing to do, and even if her >decision did seem a little extreme,

MIKE: Create a million Ryoko's!

CROW: Have that baby she was talking about with Tenchi!

TOM: Destroy the universe!

AYEKA: Sadly, all of those are possibilities.

> she was convinced that there was no other way to escape the horrid, gut shredding pain she was >feeling now.
>Washu turned into her adult form and stepped out of her lab and made sure no one else was around,

CROW: Looks like "my" guess was correct!

> seeing no one she fell back against the door and slid down. She ended up sitting Indian-style with >her back to the door of her lab, and what had once been the door to a broom closet. She was one of >the three goddesses, but she wasn't immortal anymore,

AYEKA: Since when?

CROW: Since this plot contrivance.

>she could die and that was exactly what she intended to do.

MIKE: Why am I not surprised?

>She let one hand fall limply into her lap and held the other out in front of her. Washu's outstretched >hand began to glow with a faint greenish hue

CROW: Greenish "hue?"

> and the she rammed her hand into her chest. The pain was immediate and intense, cleansing >almost, and as her fingers lanced through her chest Washu could hear her flesh tearing and her ribs >snapping.

AYEKA: *shocked* W-wh-why is this happening?!

CROW: *to Ayeka* This is what is called, a "slash fic."

AYEKA: With good reason I might add!

> Then she found what she was looking for,

TOM: (as Washu) There's that chicken bone I was choking on!

AYEKA: *shocked at Tom's statement*

TOM: *while looking at Ayeka* Like this fic is any cleaner!

> she could feel it pulsating gently against her fingertips, her heart. Washu wrapped her hand loosely >around her heart, the pain was nauseating and was making her light headed, or was that the blood >loss?

CROW: Well, it "could" be. Or it "could" be the fact that you JUST JAMMED A HOLE IN YOUR CHEST!!!

> No matter really, Washu was about to end her pain once and for all.
>In one quick motion she ripped her heart from her own chest and was actually able to look upon it >before she too died.

AYEKA: *faints from the sight*

MIKE: It's a good thing that I've seen gorier, thanks to Nav.

> This was a truly messy death,

CROW: *looking down towards Ayeka* No kidding.

AYEKA: *wakes up* Is it over?

> blood everywhere; soaking into the floorboards, into Washu's clothes, staining her pale skin. Thus >ended The Great Washu; sitting in a pool of her own blood, hands in her lap, heart in her hands. A >messy death indeed.

MIKE: Um, yeah. Thanks for pointing that out.

TOM: You know, it's quite funny how ripping ones own heart out can cause such a mess, yet shooting oneself in the head with a magnum can be so clean.

CROW: (as Clint Eastwood) Are you feeling lucky, punk?

>Sasami was headed back up towards the house when she saw Ayeka lying on the ground. "That's a >funny place to take a nap."

BOTS: *laughing*

AYEKA: *glaring at the bots* That isn't funny!

> Was Sasami's first thought, but as she drew closer her older sister her innocent mind was ripped to >shreds.

TOM: Yeah, seeing your only sister on the floor with her brains blown out "would" be a little traumatizing.

AYEKA: A "little!?"

> Ayeka was sprawled out next to the forest path with one arm lying halfway on the path clutching a >gun in a literal death grip. Sasami knew what Ayeka had done and the floodgates opened,

MIKE: …Flooding the entire town in the process.

> tears pouring down her young face. Sasami ran crying and screaming into the house, looking for >someone that could help, and was shocked numb by what she saw.

CROW: R-Kelly!

TOM: Charles Manson!

MIKE: Michael Jackson!

CROW: *to Mike* Um, Sasami would have to be a boy in order for her to worry.

>Washu was sitting against the door to her lab, a massive, ragged hole in her chest, blood drenching >her adult form, her heart in her hands. Sasami almost lost it then, her entire body went numb as did >her mind,

MIKE: Not to mention her stomach.

CROW: (as Sasami) Thanks a lot, Washu! Who do you think has to clean this up?!

AYEKA: That's enough, Crow.

CROW: *continuing* It's bad enough I have to clean up my sisters corpse! Who's next?! Ryoko?! Kiyone and Mihoshi?! Tenchi?!

AYEKA: *to Crow* I said that's enough!!

> and she nearly fainted dead away. She was no longer crying as she ran upstairs to look for Ryoko, >the only other person who would be there.

TOM: This is gonna be interesting.

> Sasami instinctively went into Tenchi's room and was once again treated to a gruesome sight, >Ryoko was lying on Tenchi's bed, her wrist slit, and covered in slightly less blood than Washu.

CROW: (as Sasami) *sighs* I'll go get the mop.

>Sasami calmly closed the door and went back downstairs into the kitchen where Ryo-oh-ki was >sitting on the counter waiting for her. Sasami didn't notice however,

TOM: Since Ryo-Ohki died by choking on a carrot.

AYEKA: *to Tom* Don't "you" start!

> she was deep in thought, she didn't understand any of this. Why had everyone left her? Why did her >sister leave her?

CROW: And why did they leave her with such a mess to clean up?

MIKE: Alright, Crow. It's getting old now.

> She couldn't come up with a reasonable answer, but a surprisingly mature thought did form in her >young mind.

TOM: (as Sasami) Wait a minute……That means I don't have to cook and clean for them anymore! YESS! I'm free! Free, I tell you!

>She was going to go with them, she wouldn't be left alone here, they needed her there to cook at >least.

MIKE: So….Tenchi, Noboyuki, Yosho, "or" Mihoshi and Kiyone don't matter to her?

AYEKA: Forget "them!" What about her "family?!"

CROW: Like "you're" one to talk, Miss "I shot myself with a magnum and didn't spread any blood."

AYEKA: Don't push your luck!

> Sasami didn't, however, want to go like the rest of them had, and slowly an idea came into her >shock-numbed mind.

AYEKA: She decided to "not" kill herself.

MIKE: I highly doubt that.

> There were a few different types of mushrooms that she used to cook with and when eaten alone >they were fine, but when you mixed the two together

CROW: They become one hell of a high!

MIKE: (as Sasami) I have the munchies!

> they became highly poisonous.

AYEKA: *shuts her eyes* Tell me when this is over.

>Sasami took one of each mushroom out and chopped them into small pieces, finally noticing Ryo-oh->ki as she jumped on top of her head. Sasami mixed the mushroom pieces together and offered some >to Ryo-oh-ki, the cabbit ate them happily.

MIKE: So…upon wishing to kill herself, she decides to kill the family pet too?

TOM: Talk about loving your pet to death.

MIKE: *to Ayeka* What do you think of this logic?

AYEKA: I'm not looking at anything until it's over.

> Sasami grabbed a handful of the pieces and ate them as quickly as possible.
>She thought her death was going to be painless, but it was not to be. Her vision was replaced by >bright flashing colors

MIKE: The colors! The colors!

CROW: *to Ayeka* You can open your eyes now.

> and her insides felt like they were on fire. Sasami screamed and fell to the floor; arms wrapped >around her stomach, tears of pain flowing down her face, and then began to convulse violently >before finally lying still.

AYEKA: *has had her eyes open during the scene* O_O! How dare you?!

CROW: *shrugs* I've always wanted to do that.

AYEKA: *is trying to strangle Crow, but is being held back by Mike*

MIKE: Calm down! He didn't mean any harm.

AYEKA: *finally calms, and sits back down* Yes, you're right. I'm sorry about that.

TOM: This fic is making us turn on each other.

>Ryo-oh-ki died in much the same way and ended up right next to Sasami, they were truly >inseparable.

TOM: Once again proving that murder "and" suicide can coexist with one another.

> Some might consider it ironic that Sasami be done in by food,

CROW: Others may call it contrivance.

> but when death comes finally, everything seems to be ironic.

MIKE: Much like watching bad fanfiction.

>Mihoshi was deeply hurt,

AYEKA: Why is Mihoshi there?

MIKE: I wasn't even aware of a scene change.

> some of it was on the physical level where Kiyoni had smacked her across the face,

CROW: "Kiyoni" sounds like quite a bitch.

TOM: I wonder why "Kiyone" didn't do anything about it?

> but most of it was on the emotional level. Mihoshi was in her and Kiyoni's apartment sitting at her >small desk reading the note she had just written through tear-clouded eyes.

CROW: So why isn't she her "own" apartment? I figured that she wouldn't stick around with this "Kiyoni!"

TOM: Yeah! Where is "Kiyone", by the way?

MIKE: Alright, guys. That's enough spelling riffs for now.

>Mihoshi's face throbbed but it didn't hurt near as much as when Kiyoni had first slapped her. It had >happened earlier this morning when both of them had woken up late for work getting them fired yet >again. It was Mihoshi's fault that the alarm clock didn't go off, she had tripped over the cord last >night which unplugged it, and hadn't bothered to plug it back in, she had been very tired.

MIKE: That's strange.

AYEKA: Why is that?

MIKE: For once in this fic, something happened that "wasn't" an act of contrivance.

AYEKA: True, but I don't think that Kiyone would ever hit Mihoshi, at least, not in the face.

>When she told Kiyoni this it seemed to have been the breaking point for the woman and Kiyoni >yelled eight words at her,

TOM: Only eight?

AYEKA: Which ones?

CROW: *opens his beak*

MIKE: Don't "even" start listing them!

CROW: Aw, you're no fun!

> backhanded her hard enough to send her to the floor,

CROW: That was a pretty strong bitch slap.

AYEKA: Crow…

MIKE: *to Ayeka* "Now" you're getting it.

> and stormed out of their apartment. Mihoshi had spent the next half-hour crying, not the child-like >wailing that she usually did, but honest-to-God-curled-up-in-the-fetal-position-while-the-tears->slowly-ro ll-down-your-face-from-severe-emotional-pain kind of crying.

CROW: (as author) *panting*

AYEKA: *rolls her eyes* Here it comes. The reason for her to needlessly kill herself.

>Mihoshi spent the next half-hour trying to figure out why Kiyoni hated her so much

TOM: But I thought she "already" spent the "next half-hour" crying? How could she use it to figure out why Kiyone hates her?
AYEKA: It shouldn't be "too" hard to figure out. She "is" a nuisance after all.

TOM: Especially in the "universe" and "shin" dimensions.

> when Mihoshi displayed so blatantly her love for Kiyoni.

AYEKA: If "that's" love, I'd hate to see…..well, hate.

CROW: Why is this sounding like another Mihoshi/Kiyone lesbian reference?

> But Mihoshi knew that Kiyoni hated her, it became painfully apparent to her when Kiyoni yelled at >her this morning.

TOM: As opposed to the many "other" times she got yelled at.

> It wasn't so much the fact that Kiyoni yelled at her, but what she said, and the fact that she >punctuated the sentence with a hard backhand.

TOM: It's too bad she didn't include any commas in there until recently.

>Now that Mihoshi thought about it,

AYEKA: Which was really hard to do.

> it really wasn't a sentence, but a wish. A wish that Mihoshi would try her best to grant.

MIKE: So she went back to college, so she could increase her I.Q.

CROW: And she started reading "real" books.

AYEKA: And she started actually paying attention to what she was told.

TOM: And she ate fish.

ALL: *gives Tom strange looks*

TOM: *shrugs* Fish is brain food, isn't it?

> The tears had now slowed to a sluggish trickle, allowing her vision to clear enough to reread her >letter to Kiyoni.
>Mihoshi was smiling as she cut her index finger with a letter opener, though why she was smiling she >couldn't tell.

AYEKA: (as Mihoshi) Ooh! A pretty red color!

CROW: "Now" you're getting the hang of this.

> She let the blood flow from her finger for a moment before writing her final message at the bottom >of the letter in that precious red ink.

CROW: So she wrote "Die Bart Die?"

> She was still smiling as she fixed herself a glass of water and sat back down at her desk and >removed the white bottle from her pocket.
>Kiyoni sometimes had trouble sleeping and as a result there were always plenty of sleeping pills in >their apartment. That was what Mihoshi was taking now and she had already taken half the bottle, >feeling as if she were about to vomit she forced herself to take more and more until the entire bottle >was empty.

ALL:………

MIKE: This fic just seems "so" wrong.

AYEKA: You think?!

>Mihoshi stood up and walked over to her bed slowly, her stomach already upset from grief and >massive amounts of sleeping pills, moving quickly was not going to help matters.

TOM: Oh I don't know. I think "vomiting" would do a "world" of wonders!

> She carefully laid down on her back and wrapped her arms around her stomach, trying to calm it.

CROW: (as Mihoshi) Easy, stomach. I know you can save us, but darnit! I'm not going to let you!

> Mihoshi's eyes slid halfway shut, the pills already taking effect, and her mind slid into a state of >semi-conciseness in were she was talking to Kiyoni.
>In the half-dream Mihoshi only got to say one thing to Kiyoni so she had to make it important. >"Kiyoni I l-lo…

MIKE: (as Mihoshi) I lost your wallet.

TOM: (ditto) I lost my lunch.

> That was as far as she got, her mind finally succumbed to the effects of the pills and it shut down >permanently. Soon afterward

MIKE: She woke up.

TOM: (as Mihoshi) Darn! Not strong enough!

> her heart finally shut down as it beat one last time, sending one last trickle of blood out of the cut >on her finger.
>Words can hurt more than you think, they can be deadlier than guns and knives could ever be.

CROW: (as NBC announcer) The more you know.

TOM: *makes rainbow appear over them*

MIKE: *surprised* How did you do that?

TOM: Special effects.

AYEKA: That "did" help my depression a little.

MIKE: *to Ayeka* Don't let this fic get to you.

> A few well-placed words can bring a person's world crashing down around them, leaving them dead >on the inside.

AYEKA: This is sadly true.

CROW: Hmm……I have to try that on Bobo later.

> Mihoshi at least got a clean, painless death. A kind death for a kind hearted woman.

TOM: Just as long as you don't count the excess vomit that later came up.

AYEKA: She held it back, remember?

TOM: Oh. Well, just as long as you don't count all the stomach pains she was having.

AYEKA: Better.

>Kiyoni had been out walking for a little over an hour, half looking for a job half crying about what she >had done to Mihoshi, on the inside of course.

CROW: (as Kiyoni) I "knew" I shouldn't have impersonated "Kiyone!" Now I'll "never" see "Mihishe" again!

ALL: *looking at Crow strangely*

CROW: Don't you get it? "Kiyoni?" "Mihoshe?"……Oh forget it!

> Kiyoni hadn't meant to blow up Mihoshi like she did,

ALL: O_o?

AYEKA: When did she do that?

CROW: *scoffs* A kind death indeed!

> she didn't mean to say what she had and she definitely hadn't mean to hit her. Its just that Mihoshi >had broken through Kiyoni's last mental barrier with her latest goof up and Kiyoni had lashed out in >pure anger and left Mihoshi crying on the floor.

TOM: (as author) *panting*

CROW: He must know Michael Bearden.

>Kiyoni had finally reached their apartment and was planning on going to Tenchi's and taking a bath, >via the subspace corridor that Washu had made that connected their apartment with Tenchi's house, >right after she apologized to Mihoshi of course.
>When Kiyoni stepped into their apartment, noticing that Mihoshi had left the door unlocked again, >she was greeted by silence.

MIKE: That must've been a strange greeting.

CROW: Mike, no.

> "Well at least Mihoshi had stopped crying, and knowing her she is probably asleep right now." Kiyoni >thought, a slight smile crossing her lips.

MIKE: (as Kiyone) Heh. It worked. Now to clean up the aftereffects of the explosion.

>When Kiyoni stepped into Mihoshi's room

AYEKA: I thought they shared rooms?

> she found her sleeping on her bed,

MIKE: (as Kiyone, ala Goldilocks) Someones been dying in my bed, and "there" she is!

> lying flat on her back with her arms wrapped around her stomach. Kiyoni felt a brief bout of anger >at Mihoshi and was about to yell at her again, but she stopped in mid-breath.

TOM: (as Kiyone) Dammit! How did she……um, hello Mihoshi. I wasn't trying to kill you. Honest!

> Mihoshi received more than her fair share than of verbal abuse, and mostly from Kiyoni herself.

AYEKA: Not that she didn't deserve most of it.

Kiyoni felt the beginnings of tears form in her eyes realizing for the first time how Mihoshi must feel, being yelled at constantly. Something on Mihoshi's desk caught Kiyoni's eye, or rather the lack of >things. Her desk was clean except for a single sheet of paper, a letter opener, a small white bottle, >and an empty glass.

CROW: Mihoshi's been playing MacGuyver again, I see.

>Kiyoni walked over to Mihoshi's desk and picked up the piece of paper, and always one to go in >order, ignored the bright red ink at the bottom of the page for now.

MIKE: Convenient, isn't it?

>Kiyoni,

CROW: I know how stupid you are to not get this message, so I written the last message in blood. I saw it on the Simpsons.

TOM: I took all your sleeping pills and swallowed them. You'll find the rest in your coffee.

>I now know that you hate me and so I won't get in your way anymore.

MIKE: (as Kiyone) Um, thank you?

> The one wish I had will never come true, but maybe I can grant your wish, 'I wish you would just >drop dead Mihoshi.'

CROW: Yikes!

TOM: Can anyone say, "ouch?"

AYEKA: B-but it's one of those things you say that you really don't mean to happen!
MIKE: Like "how are you doing", and "I love you."

TOM: *to Mike* Like "you" would know anything about those things, what with being trapped on a satellite and all.

MIKE: Oh. *puts his head down*

CROW: *looks at Ayeka, who is still depressed, and then to Mike, who is just now depressed, and then looks at Tom* Great going, you moron! Now they're "both" depressed!

> I just wanted you to know one thing before I left…
>I LOVE YOU

CROW: And yet "another" Mihoshi/Kiyone lesbian reference. *sighs* Too bad we didn't get to see any of it.

>The last three words were written in red ink, which Kiyoni quickly recognized as blood.

TOM: Kinda gives out a mixed message, doesn't it.

CROW: (as Kiyone) Does she "really" love me? Or is this blood just a way of saying that she wants me dead?

AYEKA: *still depressed* I don't care anymore.

MIKE: I haven't felt "this" down since Brain Guy brought me down.

CROW: I'll help you out. *to Tom* You are an idiotic bubbledome, and everyone hates you.

TOM: Watch the dome jokes, dipstick!

CROW: Wanna come here and say that?!

TOM: Watch me! *tackles Crow*

CROW: *bites Tom*

MIKE: Hey! Cut it out, you two! *smiles* Thanks.

BOTS: *take their seats* Anytime, Mike.

> She let the paper fall from her hand and took a closer look at the other items on Mihoshi's desk. The >letter opener had a bit of blood on the tip, the glass had a little water left in it, and the bottle much >to Kiyoni's horror was empty.

MIKE: (as Kiyone) Dammit! How am I going to get to sleep "now?!"

CROW: Welcome back, Mike

>It didn't take a scientific genius to put two and two together and get suicide.

TOM: I thought that always equaled four?

CROW: *singing* You take the good, you take the bad, you mix it all and what do you get?

BOTS: *singing* The fics of crap! The fics of crap!

AYEKA: *giggling* Thank you. I feel much better now.

> Kiyoni felt tears pour from her eyes, it had been such a long time since she had cried tears of real >grief. She picked up the letter opener and knelt down beside Mihoshi's body.

AYEKA: *sarcastic* I wonder what's going to happen next?

CROW: Will Kiyone kill herself?

TOM: Or will she take one last stab at Mihoshi, literally.

>Kiyoni had always wondered why she could never put up with Mihoshi, its not that the blonde got on >her nerves, it was because of a constant feeling she felt around her.

MIKE: That would be annoyance.

> She realized now what that feeling was, and why she was prone to yell at Mihoshi so much. She >loved Mihoshi too, she was just ashamed of herself for having such feelings for her former partner >and to combat this she tricked herself into believing that she truly hated Mihoshi.

AYEKA: *rolls her eyes*

CROW: Look on the bright side.

AYEKA: *sighs* Well, I suppose it's better than another Ryoko/me pairing.

CROW: Um, actually, I was going to say Mihoshi/Noboyuki pairing, but yours is better.

AYEKA: *looks at him strangely* I'm just going to ignore that statement.

>She would make it better though, there was only one clear course of action now, she had to take her >own life.

TOM: Because nothing solves your problems better than suicide.

MIKE: Sarcastic today, aren't we?

TOM: A little.

> She was responsible for the death of an innocent woman, one who loved her nonetheless. Kiyoni >bent down and gently kissed Mihoshi's cold lips, "I'm coming Mihoshi."

BOTS: *snickering*

AYEKA: What's so funny?

MIKE: *groans* You don't want to know.

CROW: So Kiyone get off on necro…*Ayeka shuts his beak*

AYEKA: That'll be enough of "that!"

> Kiyoni thought as she rammed the letter opener into her chest, giving it a good twist.
>Even through the intense pain Kiyoni kept her lips on Mihoshi's, and gave the letter opener another >twist. Kiyoni could feel the blood rising up her throat and into her mouth spilling out onto Mihoshi's >face.

AYEKA: *turns away* This is just too painful looking to watch.

MIKE: Not to mention gross.

CROW: And to make sure she got the irony across, she twisted the letter opener a thousand more times.

> Kiyoni gave the letter opener one last twist, and as they say, the third time is the charm. Kiyoni >died just like she was, in a morbid, twisted form of a lover's embrace.

TOM: But is it really art?

AYEKA: *to Tom* That was a sick joke!

CROW: How about "this" one? "Police find lesbian police officers in an orgy of death. Officer says that is was a twisted form of lover's embrace."

AYEKA: *eyes narrowed* I stand corrected.

>Tenchi had a very good day at school, he aced a test and made friends with a strange guy who >always wore fatigue pants. The guy had always scared him before, but once Tenchi started talking to >him they became quick friends.

TOM: And this means "what" to us?

CROW: Aaahh! It's a self insert!

> This taught Tenchi a very important lesson in life, you should never judge by appearances.

CROW: Whew! False alarm.

MIKE: (as NBC announcer) The more you know.

TOM: *makes a rainbow shine above them*

> Plus the bus ride home had been peaceful which was always a good thing.

AYEKA: I thought Lord Tenchi took a train to school?

>Tenchi was walking along the forest path, book bag slung over one shoulder, whistling to himself. >Then he rounded the corner and his whole body went slack, book bag falling from his shoulder.
>Ayeka was lying to the side of the path with a gun held in one hand.

CROW: Talk about having a surprise waiting for you when you get home.

> He rushed over to her and knelt down beside her body knowing full well that she was already dead, >but refusing to believe it.

TOM: (as Tenchi) I refuse to believe that she died! This was a magnum! Her whole "head" should've been blown off!

CROW: Or at least half of it.

MIKE: Alright guys, that's enough. *points to Ayeka*

AYEKA: *preparing for impact* I hope Lord Tenchi's death isn't a horrible one.

> The dime-sized hole in her forehead stared up at him like a third eye.

CROW: Mike? How small would a magnum have to be in order to create a dime-sized hole?

MIKE: About the size of Tom's hand.

CROW: Then explain "this!"

MIKE: Just smile and nod.

CROW: That's your answer to everything!

>Surprisingly he felt very little on the inside, and shed no tears. He only gently lifted Ayeka's body off >the ground and since the ground no longer supported the back of Ayeka's head it literally fell off >along with most of her brains.

CROW: Ah, there we go.

TOM: That's more like it.

AYEKA: *feeling ill*

>Tenchi carried her body up to the house and kicked the door open and was once again met with a >scene of brutal death. Washu was sitting up against the door to her lab, a ragged hold in her chest, >covered in blood, her own heart in her hands.

CROW: Clean up, isle 7.

>Once again Tenchi felt nothing on the inside and did not cry.

MIKE: I guess this shows who he "really" cared about.

TOM: Who?

MIKE: Certainly not Ayeka and Washu.

AYEKA: Hey!

> He quietly walked into the living room and laid Ayeka's body down on the couch. He then walked >over to Washu, picked her up supporting the backs of her knees and her neck so she wouldn't drop >her heart and break it, and laid her down on the other couch.

TOM: I saw something like this on "Night of the living dead."

MIKE: So he's going to burn the bodies?

AYEKA: He had better not!

>Tenchi next went into the kitchen and as he expected he found Sasami and Ryo-oh-ki lying in the >floor, dead.

CROW: (as Tenchi) Well, Ayeka and Washu killed themselves. I'll just assume that Sasami and Ryo-ohki were stupid to do so as well.

> He picked up the young girl and her little friend and carried them into the living room, laying them >down on the floor next to the couch Ayeka was on.
>Tenchi went upstairs to his room, not even thinking anymore just going on auto pilot,

MIKE: (as author) Tenchi! You will go to your room!

TOM: (as Tenchi) But why? I have to burn these bodies first.

MIKE: (as author) Just do it!!

> and of course found Ryoko's body on his bed. One of her wrists were slit and there was a crude >heart drawn in blood next to her. Tenchi picked her up and carried her back downstairs into the >living room, lying her body on the coffee table.

CROW: One thing's for sure. This is gonna one hell of a bonfire.

>He then went to Mihoshi and Kiyoni's apartment, via the subspace corridor of course, and walked >directly into Mihoshi's room.

TOM: And he went to their apartment, why?

> He found Kiyoni kneeling next to Mihoshi's bed, a pool of blood still slowly spreading outward from >her. As he moved closer to her he saw that she was kissing Mihoshi, blood trickling from her mouth >onto Mihoshi's face.

CROW: (as Tenchi) Kiyone! Mihoshi! How many times to I have to tell you?! No necrophilia in the house!

AYEKA: *to Crow* That was disgusting! Don't ever say that again!

>Tenchi picked up Kiyoni's body and finally saw the letter opener sticking from her chest. He, as with >all the others, carried her into his living room and laid her down in the floor. He repeated the process >with Mihoshi and was relieved on some level to see only a small cut on her finger, she at least went >out peacefully, to an extent.

TOM: (as Tenchi) Wow. She died of blood loss. I feel "so" relieved.

>At first glance he had thought that Sasami had gone much the same way as Mihoshi, but then he >saw the twisted mask of pain on the youth's face. Now with all six bodies lying in his living room he >sat down in a chair, and cried.
>He cried for hours before falling asleep, and even then he cried. Not even in the confines of sleep >could he find solace from his pain.

BOTS: And then he decided to kill himself.

> His pain was indescribable, everything that his life had become to this point was now gone, dead in >his living room floor. Somehow, he knew that this was his fault, and he was mostly right, with the >exception of Mihoshi and Kiyoni.

BOTS: ……Then he decided to kill himself.

AYEKA: Stop saying that!

>Tenchi did not kill himself though, oh no,

MIKE: He was the smart one.

> the pain would be over much to quick then now wouldn't it?

MIKE: Then again……

> He lived for a good long time, in constant pain, misery and loneliness. He spent most of his time >crying, if not on the outside then on the inside, and became even more of a recluse. He refused to >have any social interactions with anyone save for the voices in his head, the voices were of the girls >of course and the only thing they ever said, or asked should I say was, "Why, Tenchi? Why?"

TOM: Anyone get the feeling that somebody's trying to tell us something?

MIKE: That Tenchi went insane?

AYEKA: That this is awful?

CROW: That someone hates Tenchi?

TOM: Precisely.

>There are two lessons to be learned in this story:

TOM: One; Don't read it.

CROW: Two; It's important to kill yourself in order to escape the situation.

AYEKA: Are you two really "that" cynical?

BOTS: Yep.

> If the world gives you a choice, make one. Waiting only makes things worse, just follow your heart >or your mind, whichever one you are more comfortable with. It doesn't matter if it is the right choice >or the wrong one, because if you delay for too long all of your choices will be taken away and you >will be left with nothing.

AYEKA: Wow. I have to admit, that "is" pretty good advice.

CROW: (as NBC announcer) The more you know.

TOM: *makes a rainbow shine above them*
MIKE: Alright, guys. That's getting a bit old.

>The second one is a bit different: When you feel something towards somebody, just go with it and >don't be scared. Weather it be love, hate or anything in between, just go with what you feel and >don't be ashamed. And for the sake of your loved ones (or yet to be loved ones) don't mask your >emotions or force them back or change them because they aren't accepted by everyone. It takes all >kinds to make this world an interesting place,

AYEKA: *now fillied with invigoration* Lord Tenchi! Here I come!

MIKE: *ditto* Pearl! It's swearing time!

> and besides, why deny yourself happiness?


CROW: Yeah! Why should we?!

TOM: You're going to be hearing "big time" from us now, Pearl!

>And in this world of reckless happenstance
>Why do good things have to go away

BOTS: *singing* Mike Nelson and his robot pals, are caught in an endless chase!

>And leave you with nothing
>Ya, you left me with nothing

TOM: (as Wakka) I hear ya, ya?

>Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah

TOM: Achoo!!!

CROW: Nah. Too easy of a sexual innuendo.

>And a Strange Disease

TOM: Japan panty complex?
CROW: Hockey hair?

MIKE: Old prospector?

>Prozzak-Strange Disease

TOM: Prozzak. Just do it.

CROW: Suicide. Don't play that game.

AYEKA: Brought to you by the world depression ageny.

MIKE: Let's go, guys.

[Everyone leaves the theater.]

****************************************************************

[1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, Bridge]

As soon as they boarded the bridge, Ayeka disappeared, and was teleported to Pearls castle.

"Hey, what happened to Ayeka?" asked Tom.

"I'm not sure." Answered Mike. "Maybe Pearl sent her home early." Then he pushed the button, which strangely answered by itself, allowing him to see what was happening.

CASTLE FORRESTER

Actually, Pearl "did" send her home early. Holding a gun to her was Kiyone and Mihoshi. Observer's brain had been hidden out of range, so he was practically helpless.

"Take your daughter and go!" Pearl exclaimed. "I just wanted to see how she would fare watching a movie."

Azusa, who was there to pick up his daughter, looked at Ayeka strangely.

"You mean, all she did was have you watch movies?"

"Well, yes." She answered. "But they were horrible movies! They had me doing bad things in it!"

"It's just fiction, Ayeka! I can't believe you made me think that they were harming you!" Then he sighed. "Let's just go."

So they left, and Kiyone and Mihoshi lowered their guns.

"Alright, Mihoshi. We're done here. We can go back to HQ. Now return the albino's brain."

Mihoshi looked at her in confusion. "What brain? That thing I just threw in the trash?"

Kiyone shook her head in irritation. "Then get it out!"

"Duh….I'll do it!" said Observer. Then he used his mind powers to teleport Kiyone to Earth.

Pearl slapped him on the back of the head. "She meant your brain! Not you!" So she walked over to the next room, got out the brain, and gave it to Observer, who normalized quickly.

"Thank you, madam Pearl." Said Observer. "Well, it seems like we got out of `that' mess easily. Your plan of making people watch bad movies is a great cover up."

"I know. I `am' a genius." Then she turned to Mihoshi. "And it looks like we have a special guest for the `next' experiment."

"Um, what experiment?" asked Mihoshi.

Pearl grinned evilly at this. "How would you like to watch a really good movie?"

Mihoshi's eyes beamed with delight. "Wow! A movie! Thank you! You're a very nice person!"

Then she motioned for Observer. "Brain guy. Transport Mihoshi to the satellite." Then she turned to Mike. "See? I `always' win in the end. Oh, and explain to her what she has to do, although she may be too simpleminded to comprehend your warnings." Then she cut transmission as Observer teleported Mihoshi to the satellite.

THE END

Well, that was my fifth MST. Thank you all for reading, and I hope you enjoy it.

Once again, I'd like to thank highly flammable man for giving me permission to MST his fic.

Please send feedback to my email address: evil_reviewer@hotmail.com

~~ The entire back of Ayeka's head was decimated by the shot, but the ground held it in place so all in >all it was a very clean death, for now at least.~~