Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction ❯ Therapy: Tenchi Style ❯ Kiyone ( Chapter 1 )

Therapy: Tenchi Style

Chapter One: Kiyone

 

This is the story of my acquaintance with a loveable group of psychotics. Enjoy reading their mayhem and how I at least tried to help.

 

Another day. Another Ed, Edd & Eddy rerun. Another phone call? Somehow, I knew my day was headed south.

 

“Answer the phone! It's for you!” was my cue as I begrudgingly lifted the receiver to my ear.

 

“Hello,” I greeted the static on the other end. “Hellooo?” I asked, wondering who, if anyone was there.

 

“Ah! Ah, yes! Please don't hang up!” a female voice came through on the other end.

 

“Is there something I can do for you?” I questioned with a lifted brow.

 

“Yes: Yes there - Mihoshi! NO!!!” A loud explosion interrupted the conversation, causing me to quickly remove the telephone from my ear as a loud ringing took over.

 

“Mihoshi! I'm going to KILL YOU!!!” could be heard loud and clear from the telephone in my hand.

 

After a few moments of my caller screaming at someone she kept referring to as Mihoshi, everything grew quiet on the other end, daring me to venture so far as to lift the phone to my good ear. “Is everything okay?” I questioned, hoping things were under control again.

 

“Yes,” my caller answered in a composed voice. “Everything's just peachy keen here.”

 

“No offense, but who am I speaking with? And, what just happened?” I probed for understanding.

 

“I'm sorry. I'm Galaxy Police Officer Kiyone,” my caller now known as Kiyone proudly proclaimed. “You are Mar, right?”

 

“Yes….” I answered her honestly, hoping I wouldn't regret doing so.

 

“Thank you so much,” Kiyone's grateful tone quickly changed as she screamed, “Mihoshi! Touch it and die!”

 

I couldn't help blinking in confusion. “Um, what's going on?”

 

Kiyone sighed. “Well, that's sorta the reason I called.” Boy, this was getting interesting. “You see, I am a Galaxy Police Officer, a very important job. And I worked hard to distinguish myself as an outstanding officer. I guess I worked too hard, because they gave me a partner, Mihoshi.”

 

Somehow, from that first tirade, I had known Mihoshi was at least part of her issue, and Kiyone was indeed calling to set up an appointment with her newly found therapist, me. Why must people continually enlist my help in their crazy lives? Why? Do I look like I have a license? (Uh…no.)

 

“I take it Mihoshi was the cause of that explosion I heard earlier,” I commented.

 

“She just can't leave buttons on a spaceship alone,” Kiyone sighed tiredly, like a daycare worker wanting nothing more than to strangle the wards in her care.

 

Spaceship buttons? Did I really want to ask? Of course. I never have known how to leave well enough alone. “You did say `spaceship', didn't you?”

 

“Oh yes! As a Galaxy Police Officer, I have to have a ship that can chase down treacherous villains from all across the galaxy,” Kiyone explained her situation. “On your planet, I'm an alien though.”

 

“So…do you have, like green skin or breathe fire or something like that?” I had to ask. There's nothing worse than being shocked by a client's appearance.

 

“No, actually, I look like a normal human from your planet, and I don't have any weird super powers never seen before or anything. I rely on intuition, skill and sheer determination to apprehend criminals!” Kiyone continued her explanation with what she felt was a necessary brag on the end. Gotta love chicks with egos. Right?

 

“Alright…” I began flipping through my appointment book, and managed to find an opening. “Would three on Saturday be good for you?”

 

“As far as I know, that will work fine,” Kiyone answered and finalized our appointment.

 

“See you,” I replied, hanging up the telephone and going back to my show of random stupidity just as the credits began to appear on the screen. Clients….

 

*******

 

A few days later found me shaking the hand of a pretty raven-haired alien in greeting. “It's nice to meet you in person after talking to you on the phone,” I smiled pleasantly.

 

With a smile, Kiyone replied, “Yes! I know! I've been really excited since we talked! I really hope you can help me with my Mihoshi problem!” Kiyone was almost beaming.

 

“Well, I will certainly try to assist you,” I laughed in reply and motioned toward a chair. “Here, have a seat. Let's get started.” I sat on my bed as Kiyone followed suit on my chair.

 

“Yes, let's get started right away.” Kiyone seemed awfully eager to begin our session together. Hopefully, she would be receptive to my advice and allow me to help. There is nothing worse than having a client completely ruin your daily schedule and drive you nuts during a session only to ignore the advice you know will end their “suffering”.

 

“So, you believe you have a problem with this Mihoshi girl ruining things for you,” I stated, making sure I was properly informed of the nature of the problem while conveniently probing for more information.

 

“Yes!” Kiyone replied. “Yes, every time things start going well for me, Mihoshi messes them up. She'll break something, say something she shouldn't or find any way possible to make me look like a fool.

 

“Every promotion I've gone up for has been ruined by her. She even helped talk me into becoming one of the most highly sought after criminals in the galaxy!” Kiyone vented.

 

I simply nodded impartially while doodling smile faces all over Kiyone's page in the notebook I had set aside specifically for her.

 

“Where was Mihoshi before being placed with you? Did she work on her own or have a partner?” I was beginning to form an idea of where I was going with this case.

 

“She worked alone…” Kiyone answered uncertainly.

 

“And how did that go?”

 

“Well,” Kiyone thought back. “She did horribly. She couldn't get anything right. Then they placed her with me to ruin my life!” Everything concerning Mihoshi couldn't end in anything less than complete and total outrage it seemed.

 

Still sounding impartial, I continued my questioning. “Why did they say she was being placed with you?”

 

Kiyone frowned slightly with a raised brow. “I was told to train her. But how can you train a complete incompetent? All she's doing is holding me back!”

 

I allowed the silence to hang heavily in the air a moment, appearing to ponder my next move.

 

“I have two younger brothers,” I started. Kiyone said nothing, curious where I was going with this seemingly irrelevant information. “Sometimes they get under foot. Both have broken things I cared for very much. Sometimes, they make me so angry I could snap. Do you know what I mean?” I paused, waiting for an answer.

 

Kiyone nodded her head. “Yes, I know. I get like that with Mihoshi all the time,” she commented.

 

“I'm sure,” I continued. “Of course, my brothers got older. They became less clumsy over time and much more considerate. Eventually, I even became best friends with my oldest brother.

 

“It also became pretty cool when I stopped getting in trouble for their mess-ups. I eventually began to be praised for their good behavior.” I paused a moment to let my words sink in. “Do you understand what I'm saying?”

 

Kiyone simply looked at me with a blank look. “Actually…no.” She frowned. “What are you saying?”

 

With a sigh, I took a more direct approach. “What I'm trying to say is:… Mihoshi was placed with you for a reason. You're the best. If anyone can teach her, it's you. Right now, she gets you in trouble, but once she becomes better, you will be praised, not only for you achievements, but hers as well.

 

“Instead of getting angry at Mihoshi for holding you back, view her as your most difficult assignment yet. If you succeed, the reprimands you received along the way will seem as nothing, and you will go down in Galaxy Police history as the greatest agent ever.

 

“Now do you understand?” I asked.

 

Kiyone frowned a moment while thinking before smiling unsurely. “I think I do. While Mihoshi is holding me back from a series of small promotions, if I can make her a good officer, I get more than those little promotions would have been to begin with. Right?”

 

I nodded slowly. “Something like that.”

 

“Wow…” Kiyone paused before her eyes widened. “I should go! I have to go back and get to work on Mihoshi right away to save my reputation and my career!”

 

Quickly, Kiyone rose to her feet and headed toward the door. “Thank you so much for everything. Hopefully I won't have to come back though. “I'll let myself out.” And after a quick hand shake, Kiyone, my strange new alien client, was gone.

 

Finally, some time to relax and escape the insanity that is my life. Can you say “bubble bath”?