The Legend Of Zelda Fan Fiction / Legend Of Zelda Fan Fiction ❯ Navi's Redemption ❯ Chapter X: Navi’s Redemption (p1) ( Chapter 1 )

Chapter X: Navi's Redemption (p1)

Beta Reader: Deej

Disclaimer: Zelda characters are owned by Nintendo. Kaula, however, is mine.

 

It had been three weeks since the Phantom God's first “visit.” I had told him what he'd wanted to know but for some reason he kept stopping by every day or so, asking the same questions again and again, as though my answer might change. After what he'd done to Moeder Badria, I was very reluctant to incur his wraith.

 

Some people will tell you that predictions will happen no matter what you do, that it is inescapable, unavoidable. In most cases, that's not true. Now, there are some things you can't avoid, fates and destinies that the Goddesses preordain for you. However, there are surprisingly fewer than you'd think.

 

For the most part, visions show what could happen. When you have a vision like that, it's not just one image but ten or twenty occurring simultaneously, each inside, on top, and under each other. The training Moeder Badria had given me was not so much how to see but how to understand what I was seeing. Like, when the Phantom God entered our hut. There were several possibilities that could have happened rather than what did. When Moeder Badria refused to help him, she knew it meant her death (which anyone could have guessed without a vision). Had she helped him though, he wouldn't have killed her, just like he hasn't killed me. One of the visions I saw in his eyes that night had been of my own death, or rather, several potential deaths. One would have been at his sword if I didn't answer him. Another was the one I was currently leading, which might end today or tomorrow, or several years from now, depending on how I handled the situation with the Phantom God.

 

Rising from the spot I'd been kneeling at, I took a moment to brush the soil from my hands on my gown. It wasn't a particularly fancy one, Moeder Badria was planning on getting me a new one, actually, because this one was faded and the seams were tearing at the shoulders a little. I guess I'd have to get my own now…

 

The soil still looked freshly turned after three weeks but little sprouts of grass were beginning to sprout. I tried to put some flowers around the rock marker but I always found them torn up. I didn't confront the Phantom God about it but I suspected he was still vexed at Moeder Badria and myself for not being able to give him the answers he wanted to hear. So I just came back and replanted some new ones after his visits. Perhaps one day he would be able to accept it. It's not like I can speed up the flow of time…

 

There was a small pond of clear water where Moeder Badria would send me to get fresh drinking water from. I still used it for drinking water but now I also had the added burden of fetching water from it for the plants at her gravesite. It was a burden I gladly did but my heart was heavy at the loss of my mentor. Moeder Badria had always treated me well…

 

Shaking my head, I picked up the bucket I'd left nearby. It was done now. With any luck, she'd either be reincarnated back to the cycle or rest peacefully where the Goddesses willed her. I would content myself with that.

 

Moving towards the water's edge, my feet sank a little into the saturated ground. It felt soothing in the heat but the grass and dirt got between my toes and often made a mess. Leaning a little closer, trying not to have to step in the mud, I made to sweep the bucket into the water but was stopped when the sounds around me, the wind, the birds, and the croaking of the pond frogs, ceased. There was a ripple across the water then it, too, stilled. Within it, I could make out the image of a huge tree. I mean HUGE. It was ten or twenty times larger than the largest tree I'd ever seen. Around it, there were glowing lights, like fireflies but bigger and with huge dragonfly like wings. Fairies?

 

There were no other images, on top of, behind, or around this one… There was no fuzzy uncertainty or unsteady flickering, it remained solid and unwavering. Something from the past?

 

But what?

 

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I was born, or rather, created by the Great Deku Tree.

 

Humans, Hylians, Zoras, Gorons, and so forth, are born as babies as mentally grow and develop as time goes on. They have no understanding of self, at first, and certainly don't know what their purpose in life is. Fairies, on the other hand, are born fully-grown and do not age, though we do learn and obtain maturity through it.

 

I was different from my fellow fairies, whom, if asked, would not be able to respond in words that any mortal ears could hear. I exclude the Kokiri from this, solely because they are immortal until taking that fateful step outside of the forest. At that point, they would no longer be able to hear their fairies any more or any less than the next mortal (which is a mute point since the fairy would have passed on the moment the Kokiri one toe outside the forest). My kind, or at least, the closest fairies that I could consider to be my kind are dubbed the “Kokiri Fairies,” dubbed such for the Kokiri charges they watch over. As you may be able to tell, I can speak Hylian and several other languages. I, unlike my sibling fairies, can leave with my host outside of the forest without dying. This is in part because my host, my charge, is not a Kokiri. Thus, my purpose in being born or created, however you would term it, is already marginally different then my siblings.

 

My purpose for being, the reason the Great Deku Tree, in all his wisdom, sought to make me, was to guide a Hylian boy into the world beyond our forest and care for him, to carry out the Great Deku Tree's will. I knew this the moment I was, the moment I started being.

 

The Great Deku Tree gifted me with his wisdom. This included the history behind the boy and the challenges that he would face, or, what he guessed the child would face. I do not think even the Great Deku Tree, in all his years, would have guessed the child would be fated to travel through time and back. He also cursed me with the inability to speak of anything not pertaining to the quest. In truth, I was little more than a doll for the Great Deku Tree to use from beyond the grave, one that could think and feel but not actually act upon the thoughts and feelings I had.

 

It was a painful way to live.

 

I could feel the heaviness settle onto the boy when the Great Deku Tree passed, almost see his hands tremble as he held onto the Kokiri's Emerald, the Spiritual Stone of the Forest. I wanted to perch on his shoulder and soothe him, offer some sort of comfort but the Great Deku's will wouldn't allow such “frivolous” words of affection. When my mouth opened to offer comfort, all that came out were the words:

 

“Let's go to Hyrule Castle, Link!!” Which was amusing, in a sad way, that I was still allowed to offer, softly, “Good-bye...Great Deku Tree...” but not “I'm sorry, Link,” the way I'd wanted.

 

There were many times through our travels when I wanted to just talk to you, especially on the nights when we were just getting started, your first few being out of the forest. I remember your first attempt at finding suitable bedding… you slept fitfully from the itching of the plant you'd tried to use. You asked me why I hadn't told you about it and I tried to tell you I had wanted to but all that came out was:

 

“Let's go to Hyrule Castle Link!!” Frustrated with that, I tried to tell you that bathing would help relieve the itchiness but my words, “Hey! Listen!” really didn't tell you much at all.

 

The constrictions upon what I could and could not say or tell you grew more and more ridiculous. Anything, and I mean anything, not pertaining to the quest to save Hyrule was deemed “irrelevant” by the Great Deku Tree's command to “follow his will.” I was meant to serve as your guide, tell you about the monsters you were fighting, point out clues, and repeat information again and again when it seemed like you were staying on task. It was worse at night, when your dreams would turn to nightmares and I couldn't do anything other than rest on your shoulder and glow. Even that was of no help and almost got me swatted once or twice but… I tried. That should count for something, right?

 

It doesn't seem like it did.

 

Since I couldn't offer you anything but words of wisdom, I tried to make myself useful but seemed to only make a nuisance of myself. I'd try to point out things, like the spot at the pond (the spot to the right of where the Zora's domain was and to the left of the entrance back to the forest), where the Rose Fairy lay. The Rose Fairy, unlike the normal Pink Fairies who only healed health, could heal both your health and magic. Unfortunately, you didn't have the song at the time that could summon her and spent almost a day looking around the spot, trying to figure out what I was pointing out, even though the information was irrelevant. I wish I could have told you not to have wasted your time but all that came out were the gleeful cries of:

 

“Hey! Look! Listen!”

 

I'm surprised at how patient you were with me. If I was you, I would have shoved me into a bottle and thrown me into Lake Hyrule… but you never did. And, on that first night, despite your itching and discomfort due to the plants toxic oils, you still noticed that I was cold and allowed me to sleep in your hat. It seemed to soothe you, to feel my slight weight on your head, and I always tried to stay in your hat when you didn't need me. It helped reduce the urge to tell you to head to the next destination, or repeat the same information I'd already told you three or four times. I'm sure you felt me tugging on your hair and wondered about it, though you didn't ask (you probably didn't expect an answer). It was an attempt at ignoring the twinge in my wings that made me want to leap out from under the hat and say something stupid.

 

It didn't work very well.

 

Worse, worse of all of them, was when you went to Zelda and she asked you to get the other two Spiritual Stones. I tried, I tried, to tell you not to! I could already see where it was leading, knew that you two children didn't understand that leaving things alone would have been better than trying to save the world on your own. But no, because you were certain that this would work and rescue Hyrule, because the princess ordered it, the part of me that the Great Deku Tree demanded follow his will acted upon it.

 

I could have spared you the whole ordeal if only I'd been allowed to voice my thoughts. Had the Great Deku Tree wished for me to follow you and offer guidance instead of merely following his will, I might have stopped the Imprisoning War (most commonly known as The Seven Dark Years). I can only assume that the Great Deku Tree's ailing health impaired his wisdom upon his creation of me.

 

Needless to say, my words of warning and pleading did not come forth. Instead you received words of praise and direction. I was willing to rip my own wings off and give up my glow forever if I could have just told you not to do it!

 

Unfortunately, I didn't get that option either.

 

When you and I woke up seven years later, I was shocked to see your growth. It is ironic that the one and only time I actually spoke and my lips moved to say the words, I'd say something stupid like:

 

“Look Link! You're big now!! You've grown up!”

 

In my defense, I hadn't really been expecting the words to come out. I was just so startled to see you grown. The Great Deku Tree's knowledge had mentioned that Hylians and other creatures aged but he had no actual memories or images of such a thing. To see you like that, it was startling.

 

It is probably important for me to take a moment and explain that fairies, despite common misconception, are not a “glowing ball of light with dragonfly wings.” We do actually have a body, similar in form to a grown Hylian female (albeit much, much smaller). The problem is that our glow is so bright you can't actually see us. Another important thing to mention would be that fairies do not reproduce, not the way mortals do, at any rate. We are created from energy and magic, usually by a higher source such as one of the Great Fairies (which is why they are considered “Great”) or by someone such as the Great Deku Tree (which is perhaps why he is considered the Great Deku Tree).

 

I didn't really know how to act around you. You seemed the same mentally but physically… well, there was a couple of feet and several muscles worth of difference. You, too, seemed troubled by this sudden growth but kept silent on the matter. I knew you well enough to tell, the slight furrow of your brow and the twitch your left ear did when you were troubled by something… I wish I could have helped more than just blurting out where to go next or how you should do this or that. I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to listen to those feelings you were keeping bottled inside you, the ones I could see you shoving down.

 

But I couldn't ask and you didn't tell.

 

Each challenge after that you fought with a sort of desperateness, like one more monster, one more fight might end it all only to find the next enemy right behind it. There was desperation to your swings and I could feel the tenseness after the battle, hear the silent question “When do I get to rest? When will this be over?” The only highlight you seemed to have were riding Epona (which on some days didn't do anything to cheer you) and seeing Zelda (who at the time claimed to be Sheik). I could tell right away who she was, her eyes gave her away, that and her hair. I don't think you would have believed me even if I could have told you but it might have braced you for some of the heartache when you found out.

 

And you did find out.

 

It was like you were possessed. I was actually afraid of you, Link. The way you fought, it was close to berserker! Like you had lost the one thing tethering you to sanity. It was all I could do to fly and keep up with you. I tried to cry out, get you to stop or at least calm down but all that came out were the damning, exuberant squeals of:

 

“Look! Hey! Listen!”

 

I was unable to aid you with the fight against Ganondorf. Not, mind you, because his dark magic was “too strong” but rather because the Great Deku Tree's wisdom insisted within my head for me to back off and let you do the fight yourself, despite how much easier my help would have made it for you. I protested within but it won out in the end. However, the second time around I won (though I think it let me or didn't care now that the end was near). I was so glad that I could help in this one, greatly important thing. I hope you thought it made up for my past annoyances and for the pain I knew that would come.

 

When Zelda sent us back, I felt weaker by a great margin. I did not let it show to you -couldn't let it show to you!- but my strength was already waning when I began my flight up to the glass, away from you.

 

The last important thing I will tell you about fairies is that we are not immortal, not the Kokiri Fairies, at least. The reason the fairy dies when its charge steps outside the forest doesn't have to do with the Kokiri's aging or dying but, rather, the fairy's lack of purpose. They were born to guard the Kokiri, to watch over them for the rest of their life. I, I was born to watch over a Hylian boy and follow the Great Deku Tree's will... the will that the quest would be seen through till the end.

 

So, with the ending of the quest and all of Hyrule safe and sound, I had lost my purpose. It didn't matter that I wanted to stay, that I wanted to be with the boy who I had been born to watch. What mattered, according to my steadily fading glow and lack of energy, was that the Great Deku Tree had only created me to be a guide for him until Hyrule was safe.

 

I didn't want Link to see me fade, for that is what fairies do. They fade. We lose our glow, our life, and just… cease. After all he'd been through, I wanted to spare him that at least. It would be best for him to think I'd left, that I might still be alive somewhere. Then again, perhaps I was telling myself that because I just didn't want him to see me die. I didn't expect to see him weep for me, I'd been too much trouble, but to see his mask of calm, indifference would have been too much.

 

Phasing through the glass window of the Temple of Time, I all but plummeted to the garden behind the temple. It was walled off from everyone save the priest who attended the temple, his personal meditation garden with which he might invite one or two of the mourning to feel peace. The beauty of the garden did not give me peace but a sense of woe. Through the Great Deku Tree's knowledge I knew about the cycle, about how things would repeat again and again. As much as I cared for Link, I couldn't, I couldn't go through it again! And again, and again, and again! Maybe I wouldn't remember this lifetime, maybe I would, either way, I couldn't just give in to that fate. If I couldn't be more for him, if I couldn't say the words in my heart, I wouldn't say anything.

 

I would not be used again!

 

I used the wisdom left to me by the Great Deku Tree and drew from the forces of nature that surrounded me. With my dying glow, I created two fairies, one a gentle gold and the other a dark purple. As their lights flickered in, mine flickered out. I wished, and prayed, to the Great Fairies, the Great Deku Tree, and even the Goddesses who may or may not care to answer the longing of a fairy, that these two would not be hindered by the limitations I had, that they would be able to speak freely and think for themselves without anyone restricting them.

 

I also begged that no one would tattle to Link or tell him of my passing, he had suffered enough.

 

Then, I ceased to exist.

 

…or I should have.

 

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The vision rippled then, the image of the fairy wavering till it vanished. My bucket had fallen from my fingers into the water, disrupting the image. I sank down into the grass, muddy and wet, sunken as it was, and cried. It was there that the Phantom God found me hours later, having not seen me at the hut. He was agitated by my tears but, too my surprise, gently helped me up and gave a hefty sigh, as though exasperated.

 

“Fine,” he grumbled. “I'll stop tearing up the fucking flowers. Now, stop crying already.”

 

It was easier not to explain what I'd saw. I don't think he'd have understood.