The Melancholy Of Haruhi Suzumiya Fan Fiction ❯ SOS: Sexy Dilemma ❯ SOS: Sexy Dilemma ( Chapter 1 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: I make no claim to the Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya and its characters - they are property of Nagaru Tanigawa, Kyoto Animation, and Bandai Entertainment.

I originally wrote this at 6:00 AM with no sleep. It was a hot mess. I’ve since gone back and cleaned it up, so hopefully it’s not quite so whatthefuck. Enjoy.

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On a bright, sunny day, five students gathered in an old clubroom on campus. One girl sat alone by the window, silently reading the book delicately held in her lap while another stood on a desk with her hands on her hips, demanding the attention of her fellow club members. Her whiskey-colored eyes sparked with irritation and her shoulder-length hair swayed in chocolate waves as she began to gesticulate wildly.

"How do you expect this club to run with a measly five members?" Her eyes trailed around the room as if expecting a brilliant answer before landing on one unfortunate boy.

"Kyon! What's your idea?" she snapped.

A crop of short, messy brown hair rose from the card game being played, and with a barely-contained sigh, the boy rolled his eyes skeptically. "I wasn't aware that-"

"Well, you should be more aware!"

"Ah, Suzumiya?"

Kyon’s irritated scowl went unnoticed as Haruhi’s attention shifted, and she looked down from her perch on the desk at the boy who had spoken, eying him like a hawk does a mouse.

"This better be good, Itsuki."

Itsuki Koizumi, a tall boy with a playful amber mop and a perpetual smile, put down his cards and stood to speak.

"Well,” he began, “you, Asahina, and Nagato are all attractive girls."

At the sound of her name, the shy Mikuru Asahina looked at Koizumi and blushed at the compliment. She then glanced at Haruhi and her expression turned slightly worried at the undoubtedly disturbed thoughts that must be racing through her mind. Yuki Nagato, who still sat as quiet as ever by the window, paid no mind to the conversation and simply continued her reading.

Haruhi cocked her head to one side. "What's your point?"

Koizumi cleared his throat. "I was thinking that perhaps we could attract more members with posters. You girls could be our models. Maybe you could dress up in something nice, like a professional advertisement." As the only other male in the room, Koizumi turned to Kyon. "What do you think?"

Kyon shrugged. Not even Haruhi could mess up a simple poster, right? "Sure, I guess it could work."

Haruhi looked pensive for a moment as she lightly tapped a finger on her lips. Suddenly, she leapt from the desk and grabbed a surprised Mikuru by the sleeve of her uniform. "I've got it," she cried. "To the lingerie store!" With her proclamation made, she started dragging a struggling Mikuru towards the door. As she maneuvered around the table, she shot a devilish look over the pleading girl’s shoulder. "Yuki! You come too!"

Yuki put down her book, and without saying a word, followed the club leader as Mikuru began to cry.

"L-l-lingerie? Can’t we j-just wear n-n-normal clothes?" Her face turned redder than her hair as she tried futilely to get away.

"Boys," Haruhi began, ignoring Mikuru’s pleas, "start working on those posters while we're away." She pointed a menacing finger at the two. "Don't even think about slacking off!"

Kyon stared in pity as an exceedingly rambunctious Haruhi carted her prisoner out the door and slammed it shut, muffling the cries. "How are we supposed to start on the posters if we don't even have the pictures yet?"

He sighed and slumped in his chair, prompting Koizumi to sit next to him and place a companionable hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sure we'll think of something to do."

But Kyon just sighed again, his gaze shifting wistfully to the door. Koizumi noticed his expression and smiled to himself before he commented, "You like her, don't you? Asahina, I mean."

Kyon looked surprised for a moment, then simply grunted and rolled his eyes. Koizumi, ever persistent, scooted his chair closer and angled himself to look at Kyon's face, offering him a gentle smile.

"You can tell me."

Kyon turned his head away and tried his best to pretend the other boy wasn't in the room. However, said other boy was not willing to give up. He scooted closer to Kyon yet again and placed a hand on his thigh. Looking down at the offending hand and up again at that oh-so-understanding face, Kyon simply went back to pretending he didn't exist. Unfazed, Koizumi leaned in close to his ear and whispered, "You can trust me."

Kyon scowled and leaned away from the tickling breath.

"Do you need to be so close?"

Koizumi playfully rubbed the thigh he still had in hand. "Got you to acknowledge me, didn't it?" he said as he flashed his pleasant smile.

Kyon scoffed and said, "Yeah, okay. I like her. Now leave me alone."

Koizumi sat back with a satisfied look on his face. "Now, that wasn't so hard." Kyon just rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.
"So what do you like about her?" Koizumi asked, propping his left elbow on the table and resting his chin on his hand.

"...Stuff."

The esper lifted his right hand and began walking his fingers along Kyon's shoulder. "Now that is neither descriptive nor honest." He tilted his head a fraction. "What kind of 'stuff'?"

Just as those fingers almost reached his ear, Kyon batted them away in annoyance. "Just stuff, okay?" However, at the unfaltering smile of his interrogator, he sighed. "I think she's sweet." Koizumi motioned with his hands for him to continue. "And she has big...eyes."

"Uh-huh," Koizumi held his hands in front of his chest to indicate a rather gifted woman, "eyes."

Kyon began to scowl, but then he chuckled and a light blush came to his cheeks. "Yeah, that too."

Koizumi reached over, ruffled the other boy’s hair and said, "You'd be crazy not to."

"Stop it!" Kyon said irritably as he jerked his head away, but he couldn't help the small smile that played at lips. He chuckled a bit to himself, then he glanced over at his unlikely companion and met his eyes, the grin spreading across his face.

"You know, I think that's the first time you've smiled at me." Koizumi said, obviously pleased. "I was beginning to think you didn't like me."

"I don't like you," Kyon scoffed.

"You don't?"

"No, I don't."

Koizumi stood and moved around Kyon to kneel in front of him, looking up at him with big, pleading eyes. "Not even a little?"

Kyon looked down at him in annoyance, but then had to look away. He stared intently at the wall. "Alright, maybe a little," he mumbled.

Koizumi's usual pleasant smile lit up his face again. "How much?" He used one finger to toy with the button of Kyon's slacks.

In response, his hands immediately shot down to cover his nethers. "What the hell do you thi-"

Just as Kyon was leaning down to pry the wandering fingers off him, the taller boy simply lifted his head and pressed his lips to Kyon’s. His first reaction was to pull back, but the clever Koizumi anticipated it and was quick to trap the hands he'd had guarding his crotch and held him in place. He struggled to pull back but realized he could not as long as his hands were trapped in that surprisingly strong grip. In a last-ditch effort, he tried to stand up; however, this only resulted in him clumsily toppling backward over the chair, taking a laughing Koizumi with him. They landed in a tangle of limbs on the floor, Koizumi planted on top.

"My, I didn't know you were so eager!" Koizumi said, still laughing.

"I'm not," Kyon yelled, "get off me!"

"You might want to keep your voice down. You wouldn't want anyone to come in and find us like this, would you?" Koizumi's smile was still in place, but a devilish gleam had come to his eyes.

Kyon grunted and moved to push Koizumi off of him. But Koizumi, again, was quicker and clasped his wrists while he planted his knees on his thighs to keep him from kicking. "We can't have any of that now," he said pleasantly.

"Get off me!"

"I thought you said you liked me."

"Not like that!" Kyon cried, exasperated. His captor just kept smiling and maneuvered to hold his wrists in his left hand while using his right to tug Kyon's shirt out of his pants. Kyon squirmed against the grip. "What if the girls come back?" he asked, desperation weaving its way into his voice.

"You know Suzumiya; she loves stripping Asahina down and sticking her in skimpy little outfits. They'll be at it for hours." Koizumi could sense his prey’s heightened adrenaline at the mere mention of the shy redhead in very little clothing. A wicked grin touched his lips. "Just think of what you're missing out on: the dressing, the undressing. Those lovely, supple breasts of hers heaving as she tries to escape Suzumiya's ever-groping hands, roaming all over her smooth, delicate body. Do you think she enjoys it?" As Kyon's breath began to quicken, he lowered his voice, speaking in a low, silky tone as if in conspiracy, "She sure doesn't fight very hard. She's probably filled with a sick excitement at the thought of what Suzumiya will make her do next...in a public place, no less! Just imagine what she'd let Suzumiya do to her in a dressing room. What they're probably doing right now." He let the last words trail off as he pressed his free hand to Kyon's awakening bulge.

Kyon panicked as he realized exactly what Koizumi was doing. He narrowed his eyes. "That's a dirty trick."

Koizumi just smiled. "But it's working."

"I'm not gay."

"Pretend I'm Mikuru." Koizumi said simply. "You're not getting out of this until I get what I want."

Kyon's eyes widened in fear, and he asked the question he wasn’t sure he wanted the answer to. "W-what do you want, exactly?"

"You."

"That is not descriptive, but it is honest."

Koizumi laughed. "As honest as it gets. Now give me what I want." His tone softened a bit as he leaned forward to look directly in Kyon's eyes. "You have nothing to worry about, and I promise not to tell."

Kyon closed his eyes as he turned his head away, saying nothing. Koizumi took this as a cue to do as he pleased. He released the captive hands, and the other boy immediately lifted them to covere his face with an embarrassed groan. His deft hands quickly unfastened Kyon's pants and tugged them and his underwear to his knees. As Kyon's bare skin touched the floor, he shivered, though he wasn't sure if it was from the cool surface or anticipation. He tried to convince himself it was the former, but in the back of his mind, he knew he was fooling himself. Koizumi wasted no time in taking Kyon into his mouth. Kyon, his hands still covering his face, envisioned the shy Mikuru performing this most intimate of deeds. As the smooth tongue circled around the head of his penis, Kyon groaned again, but this time less out of embarrassment and more in enjoyment of this new sensation. Slowly, slowly that tongue continued to circle as Koizumi began to bob back and forth in torturous, even strokes. Kyon involuntarily began to buck his hips and slowly lowered his hands from his face to rest on the back of Koizumi's head. Without even realizing what he was doing, he began to guide the other boy into moving faster, to which he happily obliged by taking him deeper and sucking harder. His fingers threaded through Koizumi's hair as he felt a pressure building up inside him, and his grip tightened as it reached the breaking point.

"You guys better not be screwing around!"

The door swung open to reveal Haruhi with her hands on her hips, a sniffling Mikuru and a still silent Yuki flanking her.

Koizumi pulled back in surprise, and at that moment, Kyon arched off the floor and climaxed with an unintelligible cry, shooting his seed all over Koizumi's shocked face.

The girls stood in the doorway in stunned silence, broken only when Mikuru let out a sob and ran down the hall. Kyon came to his senses at the sound of Mikuru's voice and turned his head to stare at their audience in disbelief. His mind a panicked blur, the only thought he could muster was, shit.

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