The Outsiders Fan Fiction ❯ What I Really Want ❯ CH1 ( Chapter 1 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Just when you think that everything is going the way you want it life throws you a curve ball. Nothing will even be the same once everything calms down. Like when Johnny was jumped by the soc. Everyone started looking out for each other and Johnny's never been the same Well to me this is just worse, I can't even look at my brothers without thinking that one of them know. Why don't I start from the beginning?
I couldn't believe that I had woken up with a fucking hard on and to make matters worse Soda's hand was only inches from brushing it. I had dreamed of some guy thrusting his dick into me and I was fucking aroused. But that's only the beginning it had been Darry, my eldest brother that had been making my body sing. It also didn't help that I had been having dreams of Darry and Soda together. Or just Soda and me.
I let out a startled moan as Soda's hand ran over my erection. I thanked every god I could think of that he was asleep. I'd been horrified if he had been awake. I wonder if it's possible to die of humiliation. I look out the window to see if it was still really early Even though Darry was up, I could probably get off while taking a shower. After I got out of bed I made my way to the bathroom.
What I saw there ruined my erection and broke my heart, Dally and Darry were in the shower. Darry was against the wall with Dally shoving his cock into him. I chocked down my sobs as it wasn't fair to interrupt Darry in the only time he had to have time to have fun. I made it to the couch before I broke I broke down crying. Although I was just acknowledging my not so brotherly feelings for Darry it didn't mean seeing him with Dally hurt any less. By the time Darry and Dally were done in the shower I had made breakfast and tried unsuccessfully to stop crying. Why couldn't I stop Darry's only going to worry if I don't.
“Hey Ponyboy, what's wrong?”
“Nothing, I'm just not feeling the best is all. Don't worry Darry I'll be fine in a little while.” Dally just watched what went on between Darry and I. Couldn't he just leave? I didn't want him here.
“Hey Darry, morning Pony,” Soda called from the living room. “Has anyone seen my shirt, shoes and jeans?”
“Shoes by the couch the rest is in my closet,” Darry said while sitting beside Dally. The front door slammed as the rest of the gang came into the house.
“Hey Soda, hurry up we're going to be late,” Steve yelled. Johnny and I left the house before we could got yelled at. School was going to be long today I could just feel it. By the time I got home after school only Darry was home and I decided to start my homework so he'd not be disappointed. I didn't want to disappoint Darry or Soda at the moment. Would either one of them return my feelings? I could only hope.
“How much did you see this morning Kiddo?” Darry asked.
“I don't understand Darry.”
“You saw Dally and I. I'll stop seeing him if you're that disgusted that you'd cry.”
“I wasn't disgusted, I don't care if you'd want to be with Dally. Please just let me get my homework done,” I shouted.
“Don't yell at me Ponyboy. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“Oh, yeah I'm okay. I just got my heart broken by some stupid hood and my brother. Of course I'm fine,” I sobbed. Darry sat down in the chair beside me and pulled me into his lap.
“I'll stop screwing around with Dally so you can have him. Pony. I love you so much that I'd do any thing for you.”
“Darry, don't worry I'll be fine. Continue with Dally I'd rather you happy and if Dally makes you happy who am I to get between that.” I turn everyone out for the next couple of weeks trying to put my heart ache behind me. After all it was wrong for a person to like their siblings. The next thing I knew I was jumped by Socs and ended up in the hospital.
Soda and Darry never left my side as the nurse stitched my various cuts up. There had been six socs and half of them had Blades. I couldn't look at Darry because I knew he'd be mad because I wasn't paying attention. And I couldn't look at Soda to see the guilt that I just knew was in his eyes. The rest of the gang had gone to get something to eat.
“Alright baby, what's gotten into you lately? You've been acting really strange,” Soda said.
“Nothing just thinking actually. You guys shouldn't worry about me. I'll be fine once I'm able to think everything threw.”
“Pony, does this have anything to do with Daly and I?” Darry demanded. I still couldn't look at either of them without fear that they would know the truth.
“We've been over this Darry, I'm fine with you and Dally.” The subject was dropped and we went home in silence. Darry didn't seem to believe me about anything I had told him and I can't say I blame him. I'm not fine about Dally touching what should be mine. There isn't even anyone that I'd be able to talk to about this. Darry and Soda are the ones I want, Dally's with Darry, Two-Bit, Steve and Johnny just wouldn't understand.
Soda's been acting weird lately and I can't help but wonder if he knows what's going on in my head. Is he going to avoid me because he's disgusted? Has he told Darry? Am I going to get kicked out?
Reviews are definatly welcome!!