The Twelve Kingdoms Fan Fiction ❯ By her Side ❯ By Her Side ( One-Shot )

Author's Notes: I believe this can be read as a stand alone story of Rakushun's thoughts but it is somewhat of a sequel to my M rated JK story: “In His Lady's Chamber”

 

I had mixed feelings on whether or not I should write this because I liked IHLC by itself but I also thought it'd be interesting to get a look into Rakushun's mind in regards what's happening between them. I'm still not sure if I needed to write this, it may even pull the quality of IHLC but for one reason or another I simply couldn't abandon this urge to complete this little ficlet. I hope you enjoy and reviews, whether they are positive or negative are appreciated. (Props to those who've read IHLC)

 

 

 

“Thank you, I love you.”

 

The words rang in Rakushun's ears. He'd wanted to return those words but before he could even muster a response, she'd fallen asleep. He continued to play with her hair, staring up at the ceiling. The cogs in his head felt like they'd been jumbled around. He was happy and he was confused and he wondered how this had come to be. It seemed like a blur- the whole day, a blur. He'd arrived earlier than he'd been expected and was entertained by Shokei for the short wait he had to endure before meeting with Youko.

 

They'd been having a pleasant conversation, he and Shokei, but as soon as Kei's red haired Queen entered the scene he'd forgotten everything they'd said to each other. Shokei poked fun at him and made some sly remark about her majesty and himself before handing him over to Youko.

 

From there, he and Youko did little other than talk, eat and wander the palace grounds and then . . . he was here in her private chambers, with her. Lying in her bed, cradling her in his arms-was something he'd never even dreamed of. When she'd confessed that she'd loved him, somehow allowed him to define what he felt for her. Yes, he loved her as well. How could this knowledge have evaded him for so long?

 

Perhaps… perhaps because he knew on a conscious and subconscious level that a relationship with her unlikely if not impossible. It was taboo- Though it wasn't forbidden for a ruler to involve themselves in intimate relationships it was somewhat frowned upon and he being a hanjuu made things all the more difficult. Should her court catch wind of this-in light of the fact that he was to become an administrator, his credibility among the other officials could be called into question and perhaps even Youko's judgment. Rakushun knew Youko wouldn't care for such worries but she really couldn't risk the trust and the power that her title had over her kingdom. From what he could gather there were many still that held little faith in her ability to govern. Indeed it did not bode well for their relationship to be made public.

 

He stared at the ceiling then looked back at her. He ran his fingers over her face, studying her peaceful features.

 

IF it was made public, he thought. That would most definitely be troublesome. But if it could be kept private, secret. . . he wrinkled his nose.

 

No. He told himself.

 

He thought back to a time when he'd tried to walk out of her life after discovering she was a queen. He had believed it to be the right and proper thing to do. He was not her equal. She was above him, beyond him, but she wouldn't hear of it. She wanted for him to be by her side.

 

He smiled, a glossy look in his eyes.

 

She governed herself with her instincts and emotions more so than with logic and reason.

 

Regardless, it was best he leave her quarters before daybreak.

 

He sat up slowly and carefully because he harbored no desire to wake her but he could not quell the urge to kiss her forehead before he left.

 

Whatever she decided on was fine. They cared a great deal for each other; it was likely that would never change, knowing that was enough if need be.

 

He made his way undetected to his sleeping quarters as a rat, without his trade scarf.