Tokyo Babylon Fan Fiction / X/1999 Fan Fiction ❯ Smoke and Mirrors ❯ Shades and Shadows ( Chapter 2 )

Author's Note: So glad to see people are picking this up again. Yes, yes, it's different from Lost Souls. If I write a third fic in this trilogy, it will be very different too. ^_~ I am not cranking it out *quite* as fast as I did the previous fic, but it will still update quickly. Once every three to five days at the least, I hope. Perhaps more often. Sometimes possibly less.

~bounce~ Reviews! Thank you! I'm saving up all the names 'till the end again, though from the start this time. But, I have to say, I am greatly warmed by the reception the first chapter received. I hope this fic continues to measure up.

II. Shades and Shadows

His breath was still labored, and it hurt to move. It hurt to breathe. But, of course it did. It was stupid to think it wasn't.

"I'm afraid I'm not thinking very clearly," he said in a rasping voice, looking up at the mismatched gaze hovering worriedly over him.

"Don't try to speak, Seishirou-san. It's okay." Subaru gave him a sad half-smile, looking like he hadn't slept--like he'd been gone maybe once, to shower and change his clothes. Well, he wasn't covered in blood at least.

For an idle moment, Seishirou wondered what happened to the adorable little boy...he beautiful young man...the unspoiled youth he'd known before the bet. I made him what he is today.

Step by step. Inch by inch.

Subaru, do you realize how completely you are mine?

Seishirou raised his hand cautiously to brush against Subaru's cheek. So soft, so pale, like a doll that any careless child could smash. But no one else was allowed to break his toys. No one else could touch his things. And that is why he kept looking at that eye, like a twisted mirror of his own now, and--

"Subaru-kun. Why?" He brought his hand under his lover's blinded eye to make sure his sparse words were understood.

"You're already asked me that," Subaru answered with a frown.

"Sorry. I don't think I'm thinking clearly."

It was true. His head was swimmy, and his vision blurred as he lost focus. But, he clearly saw the slight, pain-filled smile on Subaru's lips. "You said that as well."

He couldn't remember when Subaru had walked into the room. He kept thinking that the lighting was too bright, and his eyes burned, and he kept looking at Subaru as if he expected the younger man to disappear. He finally managed to dispel some of that by feeling with tactile contact, but it still felt like it would all slip away.

"Don't go."

The words hung in the air before Seishirou realized it was his own voice that had uttered them. Subaru was looking in wide-eyed amazement, a hand reaching uncertainly for his mouth as if questing for words to reply with. He even tried, but all that came out was a half-hearted sibilant hiss that wanted to be the opening sound of Seishirou's name. It just didn't quite make it.

And suddenly Subaru looked upset. He stopped looking like a ghost on the breeze and started looking like a human being fighting for something important. How long had it been? Seishirou thought back, and was hard pressed to think of a time in the last nine years when he'd seen an expression unmarred by utter fatalism on that face. Perhaps just after his memory had been wiped, and that entire time had melted away. No. Even then, it was the look of a dead man waiting on this earth for something to just take his body away.

Seishirou watched in detached fascination as Subaru trembled, raising a hand as if to strike, and then he turned his back.

"I'm not the one who wants to leave."

Seishirou closed his eyes, and he could almost hear Kamui's--no, Fuuma's--dark laughter following him. He sighed, ready to explain, ready to open his eyes again and apologize if he had to. Ready to bear everything for Subaru to see, finally, the truth....

"Seishirou-san."

The voice had a final quality, but it echoed through his mind like rolling thunder in a deep canyon. The sound filled him and overwhelmed him. He became the sound of Subaru saying his name in that weary tone he'd become so accustomed to, until he didn't know if he could bear to hear it again.

"Seishirou-san?"

Ah, so many times that this new tone seemed wrapped in cotton. It dispelled the first utterance, killing every echo even as they attempted to drown and overwhelm him. He tried to open his eyes, to ask Subaru to stop it, to let him know that he'd at least heard. Tell him he could stop now....

"Seishirou-san!"

The violent exclamation was whisper-soft. It chased him into darkness where "real" things like names and voices and identity at all did not matter. It held him to this world only a moment longer, and he silently vowed to return to answer the almost silent cry. As soon as he had the strength. As soon as he found the desire. As soon as he remembered why he might want this to end.

"Seishirou-san."

This voice was soft, and had the immediacy of someone speaking their thoughts directly into your mind. It was a voice only dreams could carry. He recognized it, even though he had not spent any amount of time dealing with the blond yumemi. He tried to open his eyes again, and he looked out at a plane of black reflective glass or water as far as the eye could track. Behind him he knew there was a doorway. He knew without looking that in the doorway a man sat silently, waiting to be acknowledged.

"Kakyou-san," he said in return, turning slowly. He smiled charmingly, spreading his hands as if to show his harmless intent. They both knew what a meaningless gesture it was, especially here on the dream plane, but he made it anyway, hoping to placate the other Dragon of Earth. "Did I have to be in so much pain in the last dream you pulled me into?"

"Not particularly," came the soft reply. "You don't appreciate my realism? I thought that you, of all people, would know artistry when you saw it."

"Perhaps...if that had been your intent."

Kakyou almost smiled. He did look up, eyes still in shadows behind his long hair, but still showing more than the nothing he'd shared before. "You've caught me. It was gratuitous cruelty, since I thought you would not know the difference anyway."

Seishirou almost said that it was a dangerous game to play. He was tempted to make his point and assert his status, but he realized it would be useless. The yumemi's posture screamed "kill me" to anyone who was used to fulfilling such requests. Any threat he could make would be called, and Seishirou was not they type to bluff. He briefly wondered if Kakyou hid his eyes to disguise that they were already dead. What would that look like, here on the dream plane?

"Ah. We must get our entertainments where we can," he said instead, shrugging. "Why am I here? Did Kamui wish to continue with our friendly banter?" Seishirou looked around as if expecting Fuuma to materialize from some random shadow...or just plain materialize, considering the nature of the landscape.

"No." Again Seishirou had a feeling that Kakyou was on the verge of a smile, or that he smiled internally. His lips didn't change their attitude by so much as a millimeter though. "I was bored, and you were falling asleep anyway."

"I see. You wanted to meet me for a staring contest in the dark? Given that you know more about dreams, and I would blink from habit long before you, I will concede."

"I was curious."

This, in turn, piqued Seishirou's interest. It was the last thing he'd expected.