Transformers Fan Fiction ❯ On Your Shore ❯ Secrets of the Heart ( Chapter 3 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Prowl hurried through the corridors of Autobot Headquarters, eager to put as much space as possible between himself and Optimus Prime's office . . . and Ultra Magnus. He didn't want to think about what had almost happened, so he started reciting police code under his breath as he rushed towards the spacebridge.
"Prowl?"
Prowl looked up, skidding to a halt when he saw Sideburn in the hall ahead of him. His younger brother was frowning as they nearly collided.
"Prowl, what's wrong?"
"N-nothing. Just need to get out for awhile."
"Uh-huh. Right, that's why you almost steamrolled me. Come on, Bro, you can tell me."
"I just need to get out for awhile, that's all."
"Does this have anything to do with Ultra Magnus?"
"No! I mean, yes, maybe. Look, will you stand aside?"
"Prowl. . . ."
"I'm fine, Sideburn."
"Then why is he following you?"
"I don't know what you're talking about," he mumbled, looking past Sideburn to the spacebridge entrance beyond him. He could tell his brother was worried about him, but at that moment, he didn't care. He just wanted to get out of headquarters and find a quiet place to think.
"I think you do know. In fact, I know you know. So go on, run and hide. But I'm gonna talk to X-Brawn and we're gonna find out what's going on."
"There's nothing going on."
"Yeah, well, we'll see about that," Sideburn muttered, stepping out of the way. Prowl wanted to make Sideburn drop this, but he knew the harder he tried, the more stubborn his little brother would become. So instead he said nothing, stalking over to the spacebridge in purposeful silence.
"Where would you like to go today, Prowl?" T-AI chirruped cheerfully.
"Somewhere far away from everything."
"Spacebridge activated. Enter when ready."
With a partially suppressed snort, Prowl transformed and drove onto the spacebridge. He muttered police procedures all the way to the Yukon, muttered legal precedents while he searched for a suitable brooding spot, and then systematically muttered himself into shut-down.


Sideburn paced the quarters he shared with his brothers, waiting with less than perfect patience for X-Brawn to return from his patrol. He didn't care what Prowl said, something was going on . . . something that involved Ultra Magnus. That right there was enough to make him worry. Ultra Magnus was bad news, no two ways about it.
"T-AI, where's X-Brawn now?"
"Sideburn, please stop pacing. You'll only wear a hole in the deck plates. X-Brawn is entering the global spacebridge network now."
"Thank the Matrix."
"I don't understand. Why, if you're so eager to talk to him, didn't you want me calling him?"
"Chalk it up to paranoia."
"But. . . ."
"If I called X-Brawn, he'd dismiss it without giving me a chance to talk. Face to face, I might actually be able to get him to listen to me."
He was pacing again by the time X-Brawn walked into the room.
"Well now, this is new. So . . . what's gotcha riled, little bro?"
"I'm not riled . . . yet," Sideburn mumbled. "But something's going on with Prowl. I don't know what, but I'm pretty sure Ultra Magnus is involved."
"What makes you say that?" X-Brawn asked cautiously, crossing the room with muddy footsteps.
"Ugh. Where've you been patrolling, the bayou?"
"Got caught in a monsoon in southern Thailand. It's just mud, you know. Not like you're gonna melt if it touches you."
"But you're making a mess!" Sideburn whined.
"You sound like Prowl," X-Brawn teased as he opened their shower alcove. "I'm cleanin' off, don't worry little bro. I'll even scrub the deck plates if you're that worried about it."
"Yeah, well . . . so don't you even care about what I said?" Sideburn asked, raising his voice to be heard over the running water.
"What, about Prowl and Magnus? Ya still haven't said more'n that you think somethin's goin on. And hand me the scrub brush, wouldja?"
"What? Honestly . . . I can't believe we're doing this," Sideburn grumbled. "Where'd you put it anyway?"
"I didn't. And you're the one who's in an all fired hurry to have this conversation. Gimme ten minutes and we can talk about whatever you want."
"Well if you're gonna be that way about it, then close the door!" Sideburn retorted.
An amused chuckle echoed out of the shower alcove for a few moments, and then the water switched off. Sideburn waited, trying to be patient with his brother. Unfortunately, it wasn't working.
"All right, little brother, what's the burr under your saddle this time?"
"What? No, nevermind, I don't care. For the tenth time, something's going on with Prowl and Magnus is involved somehow and I don't like it."
"Do you even know what's going on?"
"No and Prowl tried denying it, but I know better."
"Maybe you should start from the beginning."
Sideburn sighed heavily, resisting the urge to throttle his brother. He wanted X-Brawn's help, but he was being so infuriatingly thick!
"I was walking past the entry to the space bridge when Prowl almost ran over me. I was worried, cuz he's not like that, but he said there was nothing going on and he just wanted to get out of the base awhile. I looked up and Ultra Magnus was standing at the other end of the hall, like he'd been following Prowl or something. He gave me a glare like I was the most vile thing on the planet, then turned and walked away. Then Prowl walks past me and leaves the base for who knows where. Something's not right."
"Did he say anything while he was leaving?"
"Nah, but you know how he gets. Starts muttering police code and procedure until you smack him or something. He'd made it pretty clear he wasn't going to tell me what was going on, so I let him go."
"Well, if it makes ya feel any better, little brother, I'll look into it, okay? Now you better get goin' or you're gonna be late for your patrol shift."
"Then you do think there's something going on?"
"Well, I don't rightly know. But I aim t'find out, okay? Now go on, git."
Relieved that something was finally getting accomplished, Sideburn hurried out of the apartment. He did have a patrol shift in two minutes, and Railspike wouldn't be happy if he missed their rendevous, no matter what excuse he tried to offer.


X-Brawn mulled over his brother's words for a moment. Maybe it was nothing, but he could still clearly recall the way Optimus Prime had reacted to his questions the week before. And he knew what Sideburn didn't: Prowl obsessed over police procedures the most when his confidence was at it's lowest. And if Ultra Magnus was involved. . . .
"T-AI, where's Ultra Magnus?"
"I don't know, X-Brawn. Would you like me to put a call through?"
"What? Whaddya mean ya don't know? T-AI, where's Magnus?"
"I told you, I don't know. He's not in the base. When that happens I can call him, but I can't track him until I have an active commline."
"What about his Autobot transponder?"
"Deactivated before he got here, I suppose. I don't know, only that it's never worked. Now, do you want me to call him or are you going to keep asking stupid questions?"
"Call him," X-Brawn grumbled.
"Whatever you want, X-Brawn, I'm busy."
"You ain't that busy. What I want is to talk."
"We've got nothing to talk about."
"On the contrary, you an' me got plenty to talk about. Like why you just happened to be followin' Prowl around. Or maybe you'd like it better if I involved Prime?"
"Meet me at the CN tower in thirty minutes."
The connection died before X-Brawn could even acknowledge. Sometimes I think that boy just ain't right in the head, he thought sourly. He gave the floor a quick swipe with a mop before heading out. No sense in leaving a mess, especially since neither brother was likely to appreciate caked mud. If Prowl returned anytime soon. X-Brawn worried that, whatever his brother's reasons for relapsing, they would keep him away longer than just a few hours.


The CN tower ruled the Toronto skyline . . . and very few people even cared. X-Brawn was not particularly impressed either as he sat waiting for Ultra Magnus to arrive.
Of all the places on Earth to meet, why here? Why not just come back to base? And just what is happening between him and Prowl?
v"Top deck, and you better have clean flaps," the tenor growl of Ultra Magnus's voice declared, cutting through X-Brawn's internal monologue. With a sharp snort, he rolled up to the top deck, a flash of worry stealing through him as the restraining clamps locked down on his rims. It wasn't that he didn't trust Magnus . . . well, okay, so it was because he didn't trust the rogue warrior. Ultra Magnus had proven himself a strong ally on the battlefield, but the rest of the time . . . well, X-Brawn was never entirely sure where he stood with him.
They drove steadily out of the city, heading north-northwest as much as possible. He noted their course with curiosity, but didn't know quite what to think of it. He knew Prowl was burrowed away somewhere in the Yukon territory, but there was no way Ultra Magnus could know that. At least, he didn't think there was. . . .
"How far you plannin' on drivin' me? And why meet at the tower at all?"
"I needed a quick landmark. And we're almost there."
True to his word, just beyond the outer limits of Toronto, Ultra Magnus came to a stop and unlocked the restraints. Careful to check that the rear doors were down before moving, X-Brawn rolled down onto the ground, then transformed. A moment later, Ultra Magnus was doing the same, glowering down at him when his transformation was complete.
"All right, I'm here, you're here. Talk."
"Prowl's relapsed, an' even though he don't know that's what's happened, Sideburn's convinced you're responsible. I wanna hear your side of things."
"That's what you dragged me out here for? And here I thought you had something important to say to me."
"I know Prowl was in a serious funk over those deaths you caused. If I hadn't been sent out to finish out Crosswise's patrol, I would've gone after him when he stormed out on me. But as bad as he was, he was still in control. Now somethin's happened and he's out somewhere, vulnerable and emotionally cracked again. I swore the last time, I wasn't gonna let nobody hurt my little brother like that again. So you better fess up 'fore I get real angry."
"I don't have to answer to you," Ultra Magnus growled back darkly. "If he's as bad as you say, why are you wasting time here?"
"Because, ya ornery cuss, I cain't help if'n I don't know what's happened! Now, I've asked ya nicely and I ain't gonna ask so nice again. What didja say ta my brother?!"
"I told him the truth, not that it's any of your business."
"And what truth is that? That ya don't care how many humans die so long as the enemy suffers? Or maybe ya told him how many times ya've killed the enemy. Or maybe ya told him he was a loser an' a fool for bein' all worked up over just some humans, that it?"
"I'm not having this conversation with you," Magnus spat, turning away from him.
"You haven't got a clue, do you? And you call us clueless. You're just lucky Sideburn's just as clueless or you'd be facin' both a' us! You just stay away from my brother, ya hear me?"
"Now you listen to me," Magnus hissed, spinning around and lifting X-Brawn off his feet in one fluid motion, "no one but no one tells me who to see and where to spend my time. Not Optimus and certainly not you, you pathetic little punk. I go where I want, I see who I want, and I do what I want. And if you don't like that, then that's your malfunction. Now get outta my sight before I forget you're Prowl's brother."
X-Brawn was seriously shaken as the powerful warrior dropped him like a sack of loose bolts. The pure fury on Ultra Magnus's face . . . he had seen it before, but never directed at him.
Was I wrong? Was Optimus wrong? Could there be some truth to those slagging rumors? Prime never did deny it. Would explain why he's being this way.
"I said get out of here!" Magnus roared, drawing his formidable canon. X-Brawn didn't have to be told a third time. Transforming rapidly, he sped off, back towards the heart of the city. He had a lot on his mind.


Ultra Magnus stared at the Toronto skyline without actually seeing it. After an hour of pacing, unable to shake the sense that he had made a mistake by letting Prowl go, he had asked T-AI for Prowl's location. Convincing her not to admit to helping him had been quite a bit harder, but in the end she had agreed to honor his privacy.
Of course she lied to me. No, not lied. She admitted that she wasn't telling me his actual location. Just a starting point. But this city has nothing to do with Prowl. It isn't even near the Yukon.
Of course he had spent another three hours in Toronto before he had gleaned that particular scrap of information. He had the coordinates now, but X-Brawn's threats still echoed through his thoughts. He wasn't sure why; it wasn't like the pathetic weakling actually posed a threat to him. At the same time, he didn't want to have to fight X-Brawn if he could avoid it.
Stop dinking around, he groused to himself. It'll be dark soon. Prowl doesn't know anything about roughing it on this world. He'll get himself into trouble if I don't find him soon.
Settled on a course of action, Ultra Magnus transformed and accessed the global spacebridge. Sol's yellow disk was already low in the sky when he found Prowl huddled beneath a rock outcropping, powered down in recharge mode. Something about Prowl's posture reminded him of a terrified civilian caught in a shelling. He transformed briefly, carefully rearranging Prowl's huddled form before resuming vehicle mode and drawing his beloved onto his trailer.
Opening the spacebridge once more, Magnus considered returning to base, then decided against it. Prowl had left headquarters for a reason; he would undoubtedly be upset to find he had been returned there against his will. Fortunately, he still kept up an old retreat, a cavern carved out of the side of a cliff by centuries of weathering winds and waves. It was primitive by any standards, though less so than it had been, now that he had access to supplies. The soothing hum of the portable generator was almost enough to make him smile as he off-loaded his precious cargo.
Surprisingly, Prowl never roused from his slumber, despite being jostled about repeatedly. Power briefly flitted through dull yellow-gold optics when Magnus settled the younger warrior on the rough pallet that served as a bed, but that was all. He lingered a moment, watching to be sure Prowl was soundly asleep before exiting the cavern.
The beach was theoretically public property, but this far north, few people cared to come here. Not at this time of year. Ultra Magnus watched the sky paint itself in hues of orange and purple, Earth's fiery primary growing steadily oranger as it sank towards the watery horizon. He would never confess to this place, and if asked, he would deny it, but he rather enjoyed this particular retreat. He rarely came here, though the spacebridge made it much easier than it had been before. But between the Predacons and Optimus's band of pathetic losers. . . .
No, not losers. Incompetants sometimes. Half of them are little more than kids. Optimus must've had a short in his logic subroutines when he picked out his crew. No wonder they have such a hard time without me around. If Scourge wasn't such an incompetent himself, the Decepticons might actually be a serious threat.
The Terran star was an angry red semi-circle on the ocean horizon when Prowl's quiet tenor interrupted his thoughts.
"Magnus . . . where are we and why did you bring me here?"
"Didn't think you'd be waking up so soon," Ultra Magnus replied, still facing out across the water with his arms crossed over his chest. He could sense Prowl walking up behind him, could feel his body tensing as the distance between them shrank to almost nothing. For a fraction of a millisecond, Magnus though Prowl might actually touch him, but the instant passed. Prowl stood beside him, his arms loosely wrapped around his waist, as if he was trying to shield himself from the world.
"So where are we?"
"I don't know what the humans call this place, but that's the Atlantic out there. I brought you here because none of you idiots have any idea what it's like to live rough on this planet. I knew your brothers wouldn't think to look after you, and I was right. They would have let you stay out all night. Figured you weren't ready to go back to base, so . . . here we are."
"Why do you do that?" Prowl asked quietly.
"Do what?"
"So nice to know someone who claims to love me thinks I'm an idiot."
"What would you call someone who runs away from base and doesn't even think to transform to vehicle mode before falling asleep in an unknown wilderness?"
Prowl said nothing, refusing to meet Magnus's optics, instead focusing his gaze on the sunset. Ultra Magnus fought back the urge to grab the interceptor by his shoulder housings and shake the truth out of him. He knew something was wrong, something coming up from the past. He knew, even if Prowl didn't, that the other warrior needed to talk about it. But he didn't know how to make him confess. And that was frustrating all by itself.
"Thank you for not taking me back to headquarters," Prowl murmured as the last of the solar disk slipped beneath the horizon. "I needed to sort things out myself. I still have . . . things to sort out. No reason for you to stay here."
"Except that this is my retreat. Besides, you'd get lost if I wasn't here to take you back whenever it is you're ready."
"I'd really rather be alone."
"Tough."
"What?"
"You heard me. Tough. Look, you can meditate or whatever you want, use the bed even if you want. I'll stay out here, but I'm not leaving."
This time it was his turn to avoid Prowl's gaze. He could feel the younger warrior staring up at him, reassessing him while he remained stoically focused on the fading light on the horizon.
"You're something else, you know that? Fine. Guess I can't make you leave anyway. But don't follow me."
Magnus turned fractionally, just enough to watch Prowl out of the corner of his visual range. For all that the middle Autobot brother was trying to project an air of confidence, his posture betrayed him. A flare of desire rose within him, quickly metamorphing into a longing to be Prowl's confidant.
Patience, he reminded himself. Patience. When the time is right, we'll both know it.


Prowl sat cross-legged on what passed for a bed, lost in his own thoughts. . . .


I was drifting back to the mouth of the cavern, but this time it was full day. Breakers crashed with white caps against the rocky finger of a jetty. Birds circled overhead, crying out to each other in raucous voices. A few more squabbled over something that the waves had washed ashore, but otherwise the beach was empty of life.
"I knew you would come," a frighteningly familiar bass crooned. I spun around sharply, surprised to see Flarestrike standing over me.
"You belong to me, Prowl. Forever."
A familiar powerlessness wrapped around me as the marginally larger warrior stepped out of the shadows. Cool blue optics flared briefly, settling to an icy hue that seemed to peirce through me to the very core. His was the grace of a flyer, the narrow body of his transform translating into an almost too thin body. Wings etched with red flames stretched out behind the Seeker's shoulders, an otherwise black backdrop to the red and silver of his main body. He wore the Autobot sigil with pride, stamped on the center of his orange-yellow cockpit. And his smile . . . the way it tugged at the corner of his mouth, as if at some secret joke, made my defenses melt even further. A single black hand reached up to tap my faceplate.
"No need for that, not between us," he murmured, another partial smile crossing his lips. Unable to do anything but comply with that smooth basso voice, I released the faceplate, letting it fall away with no care for what became of it. I felt myself being drawn closer, felt familiar longing welling up inside of me. A full smile graced his fine features, and a sense of unmeasurable pleasure blossomed within me. I had made him smile. . . .


Prowl was startled from his thoughts by the insistent chiming of equipment. Carefully clearing the fog from the memory that was not a memory, he tracked the chiming to a small console. The Predacons were raiding a power station in India. Prowl felt a twinge of responsibility . . . and then he realized the console was alerting it's rightful owner to an updated log, not a current conflict.
"This is suspicious activity," Prowl muttered to himself. "I should report this to Optimus Prime right away."
He started to open a comm channel, then paused. If he contacted headquarters, they would know exactly where he was, might even order him back to base. He wasn't ready to leave yet. But beyond that, he was reluctant to disclose this location to base. It was Ultra Magnus's retreat and, as much as he could be a complete bastard, he had a right to his privacy.
He stared at the console a moment, then reset the monitor for a silent alarm. It beeped once in acknowledgment, then quieted to a basso thrum. With a half nod to himself, he resettled on the crude bed. Prowl powered down his optics, setting his thoughts adrift once more. . . .


Cybertron. A technological paradise. I stood gazing out across the city, marveling at the way the starlight glittered off the spires of Delatacron, the city lights twinkling in mimicry of the stars above. I had lived here for orn, but only now did I truly see my home city in all it's evening splendor.
"I knew you would come."
I turned slowly, smiling when I saw Flarestrike approaching.
"You're early," he murmured, closing the distance between us with a full smile. Pleasure bloomed within me; 'Strike only truly smiled for me, and even then it was rare.
"I couldn't resist. The view from here is astounding."
"Not bad, for the ground," he agreed with his more normal half smile. "But I didn't ask to meet here just to look at the city."
"You knew I would come," I murmured, "I can't imagine you don't know my answer."
"Humor an old warrior who likes to hear the words said."
"Not old," I admonished, flush with embarrassment, "just well seasoned, my love."
"A polite way of saying 'old'," he replied. For a tense moment, the space between us was both negligible and insurmountable. I ached to feel his hands touching me, and yet I dared not breach the space between us. And then the distance was nothing as he reached out to cup my cheek.
"You haven't answered my question yet, Prowl."
"Of course I'll go with you, Flarestrike. How could you even doubt I would? I would go anywhere you asked."
I turned my head slightly, kissing the palm of his hand. Fingers slid down my flank and the Seeker pulled me closer.
"I had no doubts," he whispered, holding me so very close, "I just wanted to hear you say it. Needed to hear you say the words."
"I would do anything you wanted," I murmured. "Forever."


Prowl was jolted back to reality by a loud crash of thunder. For an instant - just long enough to register but not long enough to counter - he tilted in precarious balance, teetering on the edge of the bed. Then gravity reasserted itself and Prowl crashed to the cavern floor in an ungraceful heap. Scrambling to straighten himself out, he was surprised to feel a strong hand wrap around his elbow, helping him to his feet.
"What happened?" Ultra Magnus asked, a real frown creasing his features.
"N-nothing. Storm startled me, that's all," Prowl responded hastily, pulling his arm free as soon as he was solidly on his own two feet again. "I'm fine."
"Prowl. . . ."
"I said I'm fine. Please, just leave me alone."
"As you wish," Magnus sighed. Prowl was silently amazed at how easily Ultra Magnus let himself be chased away, especially considering his earlier vow. Some courtship, he thought bitterly, surprised at his own reaction. This was nothing like it had been. Flarestrike . . . he had been charming, flattering with his attentions and affections. Ultra Magnus . . . so far, all he'd done was, well, not a whole lot. An ambush in Optimus Prime's office, a promise to make him love him, and a whole lot of frustration.
Maybe not yet, but at least he's never struck you, a tiny voice whispered. Never humiliated you, never made you feel worthless, never told you that you were nothing without him
He's never had the chance, Prowl countered. And he's every bit the killer Flarestrike became.
Is he? Do you really think he enjoys killing innocents?
He isn't bothered by it.
Are you sure?
Prowl hissed to himself, trying to silence that inner voice. He needed to think, needed to sort out where he fit in all of this. Muttering to himself, Prowl difted back towards the memories. . . .


"You're nothing without me, Prowl, you hear me? Nothing!"
"Please, 'Strike. . . ."
"Don't you dare 'please, 'Strike' me, Prowl! You think I don't know? Think I don't see how you look at him?"
"What? Him? Him who?"
"Don't give me that! You know who I'm talking about!"
"Please, 'Strike, believe me, there's no one else. There could never be another. I love you. Please, please don't be angry. Please, my love, please forgive me. I would never hurt you, 'Strike, never."
Flarestrike's optics glittered a hard, cold blue. Then, as suddenly as the fury came, it was gone. Relief flooded through me, as he reached out to wrap his arms around me.
"I'm sorry, Prowl. Forgive me for being a jealous old fool?"
"Of course, my love," I murmured softly, relieved to know he was no longer angry with me. I snugged my body against him, a quiet sigh floating through me as I rested my head against his chest. I sensed more than felt his smile, his pleasure with me, a smile of my own echoing his pleasure. His moods were quicksilver, at times unpredictable, and yet I couldn't help but love him. I couldn't even imagine my life without him as a part of it. He was all the best parts of me, the center of my world. . . .


"Come on, Prowl, it's time we went home."
"We? No," I murmured, "no, I can't just leave, X-Brawn. I can't leave him. He needs me. I need him. We were meant for each other. You don't know him, Brother, not the way I do. He's not like you think, deep inside. He loves me, I know he does."
"Who're ya tryin' ta convince, little bro? Me, or yourself?
"Come on . . . just come away with me," my brother coaxed. "We'll get this whole thing straightened out, get you in to see a medic, and then . . . and then we'll see where we are, okay?"
"No. . . . No, I . . . I. . . . No."
He rose suddenly, with a sharp noise of irritation. I cringed, waiting, counting the cycles of silence. Waiting for the anger, the violence that so often came when I refused anything my beloved desired. Instead, a heavy sigh echoed out of my brother, and a gentle hand rested on my shoulder, squeezing slightly in what I could only assume was meant to be reassurance.
"Please, Prowl, come home. You can't keep living like this. It ain't healthy."
"I'm fine, Brother. And I think it's time you left."
"Prowl. . . ."
"I said I'm fine," I replied, refusing to meet his optics, surprised at the brittle harshness in my voice. "Now go. Before he sees you here."
I could feel him staring at me. I could feel his optics begging me to leave with him. But I couldn't just walk away. I loved Flarestrike with all of my spark, couldn't imagine my life without him. I didn't even want to try. And even if I did, there was nowhere I could go that he couldn't find me.
"Well, well, well . . . what's this, Prowl? Company? What an unexpected pleasure. I do wish you had told me though, my love. I fear our guest - your brother? - is getting a rather poor impression of me."
I flinched at the sarcasm in my bondmate's voice, worried at the lack of emotion I sensed from him through our bond. Almost as if he wasn't there. It wasn't the first time, but this felt different somehow.
"I already had a pretty low one ta begin with," X-Brawn rumbled, his optics flaring a bright golden hue for a moment.
"Oh come now . . . X-Brawn is it? Surely you don't think I'm so terrible as that?"
"I know ya are, Flarestrike. And I want ya ta leave my brother alone."
"Ah, but it's not that easy, X-Brawn. You see, your brother loves me, isn't that right, Prowl dear? And who are you to tell me to stay away from my bondmate, hmmm?"
I flinched at the anger, the rage and horror I saw in my brother's stance. As if we were students again, I the Initiate and he the Senior. Disapproving. Always disapproving. Nothing was ever good enough for him. Never.
"Such a vile look to be giving my mate. I think it's time you left, don't you agree Prowl?"
"Yes," I murmured quietly. "Yes, I think it is."
"Prowl. . . ."
"Just . . . just go, X-Brawn. Please."
I tensed, watching my brother through hooded optics. I could feel myself tensing even more as my beloved closed the distance between us, tried not to flinch at his proximity. But when his hand rested on my waist, I flinched anyway. I could hear the faint, disapproving huff of air from him and my optics dimmed in shame. The anger in my brother's stance rose another two notches, though I couldn't fathom why.
"Not without you, Prowl. We're going home."
"I think we've already made it clear that you're not welcome here. And you have no right to make such a demand of my mate."
"To the pits with that, he's my brother! And I'm not letting you hurt him anymore!"
"Hurt him? My dear X-Brawn, if anyone is hurting him, it's you. Look at the pain you're causing him. Now, I've asked you nicely. Don't make me use force."
I could feel my mate's fingers digging into my waist. With a yelp, I twisted free, looking up at my mate with wounded optics. I couldn't understand why he was hurting me, silently pleading with him to tell me what I had done wrong. The flash of anger I saw in my lover's optics stole my breath away. I felt myself backing away from 'Strike, choking back fear. I didn't know which scared me more - the anger in his optics or the cold lack of emotion in that corner of myself that was supposed to be him.
"X-Brawn . . . please . . . go. . . ."
"Now, I've already done told ya, we leave together."
Time slowed in the sickening way it will before a violent eruption. I watched the anger boiling out of my beloved, cringed and waited for that anger to explode out of him in violence. Waited for a blow that didn't come. Surprise washed through me at the clank of metal against metal . . . a metal that was not my own. I looked up and my spark twisted at the sight of the two mechanisms I loved more than life itself grappling, the deadly flash of silver catching my optics as a knife slipped into 'Strike's hand.
"No . . . oh, Primus, no! X-Brawn! 'Strike!! NOOOO!"


"NOOOOOO!"
Reality crashed over him with a sickening lurch, the image of that silvery knife plunging through his mate's fuel pump burned into his optical subprocessor. Cruel memory perfectly recalled every sensation of that instant and Prowl lost himself in that agony. A pain unlike any other . . . seeing his beloved die, feeling it within himself as a piece of himself died as well. And knowing . . . knowing it was X-Brawn who was responsible.
"Primus . . . not 'Strike," he whimpered, tears of cleanser streaking down his cheeks.
"Shhhhh, it's okay, Prowl, it's over," a soft whisper chanted, dragging him further back to the present. He was being held, rocked gently, a gentle voice - Ultra Magnus? - crooning soothingly all the while. One hand was insistently stroking his back, loosening knots of tension he wasn't even aware of holding until they were gone. A heavy sigh and Prowl gave himself over to the rhythmic consoling, his entire frame relaxing against Ultra Magnus's strangely comforting presence.


Ultra Magnus held Prowl close to his chest, trying his best to comfort his trembling beloved. He could feel the tension of whatever haunted Prowl's thoughts slowly working its way out of the interceptor's body. With a heavy sigh, Prowl's body relaxed into his embrace. This is the way it should be, he thought idly. I love you, Prowl.
All too quickly, Prowl roused himself enough to slide his emotional boundries back in place. Magnus pretended not to notice, unwilling to relinquish his hold on him until absolutely necessary.
"Magnus. . . ."
Fighting back a sigh, Ultra Magnus looked down into Prowl's optics.
"I . . . I'm sorry, I didn't mean. . . ."
"Shh," he interrupted, holding a finger to Prowl's faceplate. "You don't need to apologize, Prowl. I only wish I could do more for you."
Prowl stiffened suddenly, trying to pull away. Magnus released him reluctantly, trying to hide his hurt as the younger warrior scooted away from him.
"I . . . I'm going to get some air," Prowl muttered, sliding past Magnus to hurry out of the cavern. Sighing, he followed, lingering inside the cave entrance to watch Prowl standing on the beach. Moonlight glittered on the ocean waves, shimmering silver along Prowl's form. He watched the warrior walking slowly towards the water, arms crossed protectively around his waist. The waves quietly lapped against Prowl's feet, but the middle Autobot brother appeared oblivious. And watching him was only making him feel worse.
Leaving a note for Prowl on the main console, Magnus slipped out of the cavern and into the night. He cast a final look at the brooding Mech before turning away, walking further up the beach to the public access road. He wanted to stay, longed to stay . . . and feared to stay at the same time. Prowl needed a confidant, of that much Magnus was reasonably certain. But it was clear that the younger warrior would not come to him, and he did not know how to broach the subject. For the first time in his life, Magnus knew what he wanted and yet had no idea how to achieve his goal. And that was beyond frustrating.
My patience is not infinite. Perhaps it is time I found another way.