Trigun Fan Fiction / Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction ❯ D/Chick and County One-Shots ❯ The World Has Gone Insane ( Chapter 8 )

The World Has Gone Insane

-A D/Chick and County One-Shot Rant-

D/Chick: (Sitting amongst all the sheets and pillows on her bed, observing the artwork plastered all over the walls) Hum-deedum…(Looks outside the window at the glorious backyard, seeing dogs playing and butterflies flitting in the sunny paradise) … (Sighs) My, what a lovely…(Observes alarm clock while running a hand through tousled hair) AFTERNOON!? Ahg, I know I sleep late, but this is ridiculous!! (Jumps up and out and slams the door to her bathroom) Ahhhhhhhhhhgggggg!!

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County: (Smiling sweetly) My, you look lovely today, D/Chick!! How was your sleep? (Blinks rapidly)

D/Chick: (Stepping down the stairs, hair dripping water and in hang-out-at-home clothes) Ok, did someone hit you on the head, or are you just being mean in a sarcastic way?

County: (Beams) No, I really think you look nice today. (Claps hands together) I made some Ramen for lunch!!

D/Chick: (Points at County's face) That's about the only thing you can make, so I'll give you credit. I don't know WHY, (Rolls eyes) but for SOME reason I have a bad feeling that you put rat poison in it or something, because you'd do something like that. And you're really creeping me out with the whole…nice thing.

County: (Blinks innocently) Just what do you mean, oh great one?

D/Chick: (Shoves him away in disgust) Spare me…

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D/Chick: (Is now at the One-Shot house, sitting on the front lawn and sipping on her mug of Ramen) Just why did you follow me here?

County: (Ignores her question) Would you like me to take your mug when you are finished?

D/Chick: -_- Stop it, would you?

County: Ok! (Starts wandering around the yard aimlessly, picking weeds occasionally out of the grass and throwing them over the neighbor's fence)

D/Chick: (Still sipping on her mug) … (Hears a giggle down the sidewalk) Huh?

County: (Points down the sidewalk) Hey, look, guests!!

D/Chick: (Stands up and places her mug carefully in the grass before turning and running straight into a body) Mph!

Vash: (Fans himself with his hand) My, what a hot day it is! Don't you agree, brother?

Knives: (Starts fluffing his shirt all girly-like) You got that right!

Vash: (Looks down at D/Chick, who is nestled in Vash's…bosom? O_O) Oh, hello there!! You're that girl with the sarcastic guy, right?

D/Chick: (Backs up slowly with fear in her eyes) O_O oh…my god… (Backs up some more and starts screaming insanely, running around in circles) VASH IS A GIRL VASH IS A GIRL!! (Gets on her knees and begs toward the sky) WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?!?! VASH IS TOO HOTT TO BE A GIRL CHANGE HIM BACK!!

Vash: (Covers his giggling mouth with a hand) Oh ho ho, silly girl!! My brother and I have always been girls!!

D/Chick: (Points to Knives crotch) THEN WHAT'S-AHHHHHHHHHH!! WHAT HAPPENED!?!? (Starts clawing head in despair)

Knives: (Waves hand at D/Chick) Silly, I stuffed!!

D/Chick: O_O

County: (Comes up wearing a giant banana on his head) My, something seems out of place here…(Scratches chin in thought) Hmmmmm…(Pulls on one of Vash's braids) Pretty!! Pretty!!

Gareas: (Walks up the sidewalk, Rioroute beside him)

D/Chick: Oh god…

Gareas: Hey Rioroute…I like your shorts (Licks his lips)

Rioroute: Wha!?!?! (Shoves Gareas away)

D/Chick: (Sighs in relief) At least THEY'RE still normal…

Rioroute: (Giggles) Get out of here, yours are way better!! (Slaps Gareas's butt with a blush)

D/Chick: O_o (Cracks)

County: (Now wearing a giant tangerine on his head) I know! (Points index finger into the air) Our favorite buddies Wolfwood and Folken aren't here!!

Wolfwood: (Suddenly comes strolling down the street in a mailman get-up) My my, somebody has some mail today!! Why, hello there, D/Chick!! Bright sunny day, isn't it? (Grins)

D/Chick: (Fearful face) You're scaring me.

Wolfwood: My, that's dandy! (Whips out a letter) Folken sent you something!

D/Chick: (Yanks envelope away and tears it open anxiously)

Wolfwood: (Places a hand on his hip, tight blue shorts shifting accordingly) My, how come Folken isn't tagging along with me? Bizarre, isn't it?

D/Chick: (Opens the letter and reads the note) "Beats me" (O_O) Ahhhhhhhhhh creepy!!!

Vash: (Square dancing with Knives) And do-si-do yer partner!!

Knives: (Starts dragging Vash around) Swing `em round once!!

Vash: (Throws random cowboy hat into the air) YA-HOO!

County: (Runs up to the brothers…sisters…whatever…) My, may I join you two?!?!

Vash: (Welcomes him in) Sure thang, sweetie-pie!

Instructor: (Runs through the yard randomly in a tight short skirt and a bikini top, waving hands around in the air) DRAG SHOW DRAG SHOW!! (Runs off)

Zell: (Pops into the scene, wearing butt-shorts and a belly shirt, a quizzical look on his face) Y'know, I think I'd like a pet parakeet some day (Pops out from the scene)

D/Chick: (Looks hopeless) I think I'm going crazy…

Zell: (Pops up behind D/Chick and screams in her ear) PARAKEET! (Pops away)

D/Chick: (Jumps) Ahhhh!!

Zell: (Pops back directly in front of her) PARAKEET! (Pops away again)

County: (Wearing a banana leaf skirt…and that's all) I really like this natural feel…my inner soul can breathe freely…(Takes a deep breath)

D/Chick: (Quirks eyebrow at him) As opposed to an "outer soul"?

Quatre: (Flying in the air with little angel wings, wearing a cupid-speedo and holding a bow and arrow) My poor baby-soft skin is burning under this awful sun!

D/Chick: (Looks up incredulously) Quatre!?

Quatre: (Looks down at her with a smile) Hello there, D/Chick!! Have you seen that

County friend of yours? I'm on a mission, you see…

D/Chick: Uhhh…(Points to County, who is hula-dancing in his "natural-feel" skirt) He's right there…

Quatre: Oh goodness!! (Points arrow at him) You will fall in love with the first woman you see…go! (Lets arrow fly loose)

D/Chick: (Waving arms in the air) NO STOP!!!

County: (Gets hit by arrow) Huh? (Looks around) What the hell was that?

D/Chick: (Holding her breath)

County: (Turns his gaze upon D/Chick)! LOVE! (Eyes turn into two big hearts)

D/Chick: AHG!! (Starts getting up to run away)

County: (Glomps D/Chick) I love you I love you I love yoooooooooo!!! (Banana leaf skirt slips off his body in the process of snuggling) Oops! (Giggles)

D/Chick: (Screams agonizingly) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GROOOOOOOOSS!!!

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D/Chick: (Bolts upright in her bed, screaming) AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?!?!? (Looks around and sighs) Oh, good…it was just a dream…

Jev: (*the middle sister*) Hilary, what's you're problem? It's four in the morning, go to bed…(Yawns)

D/Chick: I was asleep…I just had this weird dream that Vash was a girl and County was really nice to me…weird, huh?

Jev: (Ignores her and points to the lamp) Hey, why is there a parakeet in your room?

D/Chick: O_O

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County: (Bolts upright in his bed, screaming) AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?!?!? (Looks around and sighs) Oh, good…it was just a dream… (Scratches head and looks down) What the… (Wearing the banana leaf skirt) O_O !!!

El Fin -

D/Chick: (Sighs and leans her head back on the nifty swingy-bench) That was the weirdest dream I'd ever had…

County: (Suddenly interested) What dream?

D/Chick: (Ulp) Nothing. Nothing at all.

County: I had a weird dream too…I was wearing a banana leaf skirt…

D/Chick: (Faints)

County: (Looks at her, puzzled) What'd I say? (Takes his chin in his hand and makes a suave grin) I bet the thought of me in a banana leaf skirt makes her swoon…she can't handle my sex appeal…(Starts laughing evilly) Heh heh heh…

Wolfwood: (Riding down the street on a bike, throwing newspapers) Fat chance, lanky Boy!!

County: (Eats a newspaper) HEY!!! (Gets up and throws his fist at Wolfwood) YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE MAILMAN, YOU CHEAT!! ARGGGGGGGG!!! (Stops in midair at his words, voice tiny) Creepy. O_o

D/Chick: (Wakes up) Huh? Oh, right (Grabs her Zell Plushy, speech slurred) Join us…next time…for another…VERY interesting One-Shot…that is all…(Poofs away)

County: (Jams his hands in his pockets and starts walking down the sidewalk, mumbling to himself) Damn freaky dreams…damn banana leaf skirt…

EL Fin ^^; -