Trigun Fan Fiction ❯ An Alternate Ending ❯ Heartbreak ( Chapter 9 )

An Alternate Ending

By Bekka Mouri-Hibiki

Part Nine: Heartbreak

(Trigun doesn't belong to me and I am not making any money from this so please don't sue. As Vash and Meryl care for comatose Knives, Wolfwood and Milly have to face a problem of their own.)

Wolfwood sat on his bed and stared at Milly's empty cot. She had moved back into his room because Knives now occupied the room she had shared with Meryl. Meryl had moved her cot into Vash's room but it didn't seem that they were any closer to being together than that. Vash was still scared to get close to anyone but that would hopefully change now that Knives was out of commission.

Milly was the only thing he could think about though… he didn't know why but he found his mind drifting to her a lot since she had left for work. He felt bad that she had to go out and bust her ass while he sat at the house, pining away for a cigarette. It had been at least two months since he had his last one but he still needed them like he had the day he told the girls to pack it up and follow Vash. ~I could use some whisky too, ~ He thought with a sigh.

He stood to his feet and went to Milly's cot. The covers were still a rumpled mess because she had slept late once again but she always managed to make it to work on time. He decided to make the bed to be nice to her. He had tried his best not to hurt her feelings since they made up and he vowed to himself that he would never do anything to hurt her again.

He pulled the blanket from the folding bed and shook it out. As he brought it back to put it over the bed, a little bit of dark crimson on the sheet caught his eye. " Oh… this explains why she hasn't looked well the last couple of days, " He muttered and threw the blanket on his bed. " I guess I better go get a clean sheet before Milly gets home from work. "

He pulled the sheet from the bed and rolled it up. He walked to the door and opened it, stepping out into the hall. He would have to ask Meryl where the clean sheets were but he wouldn't mention why he needed it. Meryl was a girl too and she was bound to know because girls were just funny like that.

He started toward Knives' room when someone knocked at the front door. He growled and tossed the sheet into the clothes hamper next to the door before he opened it. A tall older man stood there, his arms looked as hard as iron and was definitely someone who could hold his own. " Can I help you? " Wolfwood asked.

" Where's Miss Stryfe? " The man asked. " I'm her boss and I need to see her. "

" Is there something wrong? " Wolfwood recognized the man and tried not to get angry. The man had been in the mob that had tried to drag Vash to death.

" It doesn't concern you, " The man narrowed his eyes. " Go get her or I'm going to get her myself. "

" Hold your Thomases, " Wolfwood put a hand up. " I'll go get her. "

**

Vash looked down at Knives and sighed. He had slept for five days and his wounds were healing very slowly. Vash assumed that using the double Angel Arms had drained most of his power and the shock of Vash actually shooting him had probably sapped the rest of it. Meryl was on the other side of the bed, staring at Vash because she couldn't find the words to say to him.

" Hey Meryl? " Vash didn't look up.

" Y-y-yes Vash? " Meryl made her voice work although she felt her throat was closing. They had just come into the room to care for Knives but it seemed like they had been standing there for an eternity.

" I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused, " Vash started but there was a knock at the door. " Who is it? "

" It's me, needle noggin. There's some older looking guy outside and he wants to see Meryl, " Wolfwood called through the door.

Meryl looked at Vash and he looked at her. " I wasn't expecting anyone. Oh! I hope they haven't decided to kick us out so soon. "

" I'll be right here if you need me, " Vash looked at Knives. " I'll go ahead and change his bandages and do the other stuff that needs to be done. "

" Okay, " Meryl nodded as she walked to the door. She opened it and Wolfwood was leaning against the opposite wall. She cocked her head to the side, " Did the man say what he wanted? "

Wolfwood shook his head, " The guy demanded to talk to you and no one else. He wouldn't even give me a hint about what was so damn urgent. "

" I'll go find out, " Meryl sighed. A few moments later, she opened the front door to the manager of the bar she worked at. She felt her stomach clench as she thought, ~Oh no. He's come here to fire me, ~ then she noticed he was looking rather frantic.

" What's wrong, Mr. Young? " Meryl asked. He was a handsome fatherly type with gray hair and wise dark blue eyes. He was a built man and no one messed with him when he was angry.

" Miss Stryfe, " Mr. Young started but stopped. He shut his eyes, " It's about your friend. Something happened and you need to come with me. "

" Milly? What happened to her? " Meryl went cold all over. " Was there an accident? "

Mr. Young shook his head, " No, there wasn't an accident. I'll tell you what happened on the way to the midwife's house. "

" What the Hell? " Wolfwood had been eavesdropping on the conversation from the hallway but now he was heading for Meryl and the front door. " Midwife? What is she doing there? "

Mr. Young stiffened, " I told you that this has nothing to do with you. The sooner you and your brother are out of this town, the better. "

Wolfwood growled, " What is she doing at the midwife's house? "

Mr. Young looked at Meryl, " Could you explain to him that… "

" Actually Mr. Young, " Meryl shut her eyes. " He… Milly… "

" I see, " Mr. Young narrowed his eyes at Wolfwood. " Then he DOES have something to do with this. You should be ashamed of yourself… "

Wolfwood narrowed his eyes back at Mr. Young, " That's my business if I do, pal. Now, tell us what is wrong with Milly before I beat it out of you. "

Meryl stepped between the men even though they both towered over her, " STOP! I can't take this! Would you just tell us what happened to Milly? " She said through clenched teeth.

Mr. Young took a step back, " I don't know exactly. She started having horrible stomach pains at the well this morning and the foreman came to the bar asking where he could find you, Ms. Meryl. I told him you were off today and by this time, your friend was in terrible pain and clutching her stomach. The foreman and I carried her to the closest house and that was the midwife's house. "

Wolfwood sighed, " Oh, that makes it a little different. "

" But that was this morning, " Mr. Young said. " I have been there all day. Do you even know what time it is now? "

" Yeah, " Wolfwood said looking at the suns, " It's about three, right? "

" It's five o'clock, " Mr. Young said tersely. " She's been there since nine o'clock this morning. "

Wolfwood's eyes got wide; he had forgotten that the suns took longer to set in the region they were in. " Holy shit! She's been there all day! Why didn't anyone come earlier than this? "

" We had to help the midwife because that poor girl passed out as soon as we got her in the house. Now, would someone please come with me? " Mr. Young growled.

Meryl took a step forward but Wolfwood put a hand on her shoulder. " I'll go, Meryl. You go help Vash. "

" Are you sure? " Meryl asked warily.

Wolfwood gave a quick nod, " Yeah. "

Mr. Young growled, " Alright then… I guess I'll take you over there but don't try anything! "

Wolfwood rolled his eyes and waited for Mr. Young to step off the porch. He arched an eyebrow at him when he didn't move. " Aren't you going to show me the way? "

" I prefer you walk IN FRONT of me, Mister… say, I never caught your name, " Mr. Young sneered. " There's no telling what it could be considering the name your brother uses. "

" Call me Wolfwood, " Wolfwood tried to keep himself from hitting the man.

" Okay, Mr. Wolfwood. You go in front of me and I'll tell you how to get there, " Mr. Young pointed down the road.

Wolfwood grumbled but didn't say anything as he stepped into the street and looked at Mr. Young over his shoulder, " If this is a trick so you can shoot me in the back, you'll be sorry. "

" I wouldn't think twice under different circumstances but I'm not going to shoot you in the back, Mr. Wolfwood. Now, walk and I'll tell you where to go, " Mr. Young stepped down from the porch behind Wolfwood. " Of course, I'm sure that girl's daddy would like a shot or two at you. "

" You don't know anything about it so shut up, " Wolfwood said calmly even though he really wanted to hit the man. Mr. Young snorted but said nothing in reply. A few moments later, he told Wolfwood to take left and walk towards the well. Wolfwood reached the well and looked over his shoulder, " Now what? "

" The house is the one on the right, " Mr. Young pointed.

" Oh good. Here I though you were going to dump me in the well, " Wolfwood muttered.

" What was that? " Mr. Young arched an eyebrow.

Wolfwood continued to walk, " Nothing. I didn't say anything at all. "

Mr. Young grabbed Wolfwood by the back of the shirt and pulled him into an alley out of the sight of the few villagers that were standing around. He put one arm around Wolfwood's waist and threw his other arm around his throat. " Look, you are really getting on my nerves. "

" Let me go! " Wolfwood croaked out. He pulled at the man's arm with his hands but he was still sore from Vash's battle with Knives. " What's your fucking problem? "

Mr. Young pulled Wolfwood as close as he could get to him. " It was a cocky asshole like you that killed my little girl. Your kind is the same no matter what you look like or where you're from. "

Wolfwood tried to breathe as Mr. Young's grip tightened a little. " What do I have to do with that? " He rasped.

" He knocked her up and she died because she lost his bastard child, " Mr. Young growled. " He left town as soon as he found out she died. "

" But Milly isn't… " Wolfwood gasped. He felt like he was going to black out any moment. ~This guy is nuts! What the hell is his problem? ~

Mr. Young let Wolfwood go suddenly, letting the black-haired priest fall to the ground. He waited while Wolfwood coughed and gasped for air then spoke quietly, " Not any more… she was though. She had a miscarriage… just like my little Aileen. "

Wolfwood looked up at Mr. Young, " What did you just say? "

" You didn't even know your woman was pregnant? That's just typical of your kind, " Mr. Young smiled a cold smile.

" But we only did it once so… " Wolfwood let his words trail off as the weight of the situation settled on him.

Mr. Young grabbed Wolfwood by the arm and yanked him to his feet. " You idiot… it only takes once. Now, are you going to run? If you do, I'll shoot you in the back like the coward I know you are. "

" You have no idea what kind of man I am, " Wolfwood narrowed his eyes. He was numb, the only thing he felt was his heart beating even though he felt it didn't deserve to. " If I'm running anywhere, it is to be by Milly's side. "

Mr. Young let go of Wolfwood's arm, " What are you waiting for then? "

Wolfwood straightened his shirt and dusted himself off before looking towards the midwife's house. He glanced back at Mr. Young in time to see him pull a gun from his shirt. " You still think I'm going to run, don't you? " He asked coldly.

Mr. Young nodded, " Yes. "

Wolfwood shut his eyes and sighed, " Look. I'm priest. Can't you have a little bit of faith that I'm not lying to you? "

" A priest, huh? " Mr. Young snorted as he walked up to Wolfwood and pressed the gun into his back. " Next thing you'll tell me is that Vash is an angel. Priests aren't supposed to do the things you and your brother has done. Now, WALK! "

Wolfwood walked forward until he reached the door of the tiny house and knocked. Time passed in an agonizing manner before an older woman built like Meryl with pitch-black hair and violet eyes opened the door. " Yes? " She said, eyeing Wolfwood carefully.

" I went to get Ms. Stryfe but this hot shot demanded to come instead. He's the girl's man; " Mr. Young stepped to Wolfwood's side so the woman could see him better.

The woman's attitude changed from cautiousness to warm and welcoming, " Oh! Come on in then. "

" How is she? " Wolfwood asked ignoring the fact that Mr. Young still had the gun pressed into his back.

The midwife shook her head, " She's devastated. You know, right? "

Mr. Young nodded, " I just told him. "

" She didn't even know she was pregnant and she's been crying since I told her she had lost the baby, " The midwife sighed. " Poor girl… "

Wolfwood lowered his head, " She wasn't that far along. "

The midwife nodded, " She was eight weeks along at the most from what I could tell. She would have known if it was any longer than that. I've sent for a doctor to check her over because I had to... well, never mind the details. I think she'll recover but I want a doctor the check her just in case I missed anything. "

Wolfwood felt a tear slip down his cheek but he refused to let anymore fall, " Yeah… that sounds like a good idea. "

The midwife placed her hand under his chin and made him face her. She had seen too many men trying to smother their tears and she knew it just hurt them even more. " Go ahead and cry, dear. You need to. "

" It won't help, " Wolfwood muttered, trying to stop the tears but they refused to obey as another one slipped down his cheek.

" But you need to, " The midwife urged. She wrapped her arms around Wolfwood and hugged him. She went to pat his back but frowned when her hand brushed against the gun in Mr. Young's hand. She craned her neck around and narrowed her eyes, " Put that thing away, Jerry. "

Mr. Young shook his head, " I don't want him to run. "

The midwife growled, " Look. That was ten years ago. Would you just let it go? I think the reason that boy ran was because he didn't want you to shoot him, not because Aileen died. "

Wolfwood felt the gun leave his spine, " Deb… " Mr. Young almost sounded like he was whining.

" Don't you Deb me. You get out of here right now, " The midwife said.

Mr. Young grumbled and left, shutting the door as he went. " That man… he can be normal sometimes but will turn into a lunatic if he even thinks about his poor daughter… " Deb looked up at Wolfwood and saw the tears were still falling. She hugged him and waited for him to be ready to move.

" Miss? " He whispered after a very long stretch of time.

" Yes? " Deb replied.

" Can I go see her now? "

**

The pillow provided little comfort for her as she clutched it, her other hand resting on her aching abdomen. She scolded herself for not telling Meryl when her period came late and for hoping foolishly that it was just late because of all the stress she had been under. She didn't think she was really carrying a child inside of her until the midwife told her it was gone. ~I don't know what he will think of me now, ~ She blinked away yet another tear, surprised she still had any left to shed.

She only remembered being brought into the house but nothing until she woke up several hours later. She went over it all several times but it still didn't seem real…

(Flashback)

The room was blurry and she hurt… oh God, did she hurt. She tried to focus her eyes but they wouldn't cooperate. She was startled when someone put a hand on her shoulder, " Miss Thompson? " The voice was soft and gentle… like a mother's voice.

" Where am I? " Milly whispered. She could make out the form of a woman sitting in front of her. She was built like Meryl but was probably older.

" You're at my house, Miss Thompson. My name is Deborah Hansen. I'm the village's midwife. Your boss and another man brought you here, " The woman said.

" I remember… I remember falling down because the pain was so bad, " Milly said slowly. " I remember coming in the door but that's it. "

Deborah was silent for a moment before she sighed, " You passed out when you got here. Miss Thompson, did you know you were pregnant? "

Milly caught her breath, shaking her head slowly. " No. I couldn't be. I just had my period a week ago. "

" Was it normal? " Deborah asked. " Or was it lighter than usual? "

" Lighter, " Milly whispered. " But I had worse cramps than usual. "

Deborah gently squeezed Milly's shoulder, " Then I can understand why you didn't know, sweetie. "

" I'm okay now, right? " Milly asked.

" You should be but I have sent for a doctor to double check in case I missed anything, " Deborah's face was getting clearer and Milly thought she looked just like Meryl except with long hair.

" What about my baby? " Milly couldn't believe it was her voice asking. To her, it seemed like someone else was speaking and she was just moving her mouth. The thought of her being pregnant was still strange to her and didn't seem possible.

" Oh sweetie… " Deborah got on her knees next to the bed. " I'm so sorry… you lost it. "

Milly went cold all over but was numbly aware she was speaking again. " Could you tell how far along I was? "

Deborah nodded, " Yes. You were no more than eight weeks. "

" How do you tell something like that? " Milly asked, puzzled. As far as she knew, the only three people knew what she had done with Wolfwood.

Deborah chewed her lip, " Um, there are ways to tell. "

" Like what? " Milly blinked slowly. " Did you ask one of my friends? "

" No, sweetie. I… I don't know how I can tell you this without upsetting you; " Deborah pressed her face against her folded arms.

" Please tell me how you know, " Milly pleaded. " I need to know. "

" Miss Thompson, " Deborah sighed into her folded arms. " I saw it. "

" How big was it? " Milly couldn't even feel her lips moving when she asked the question. She thought that she had only thought it but Deborah lifted her head so she could look at her.

" Sweetie, " Deborah said quietly. " Do you really want to know? "

" Please? " Milly still couldn't feel her mouth moving.

" I saw it, " Deborah looked down at her arms. " I could tell by what size it was how far along you were. "

" Oh, " Milly whispered.

" You should get some rest, sweetie. The men that brought you in said you have a friend staying here in town. If you want, I can send for her and she can sleep here tonight so you're not alone, " Deborah said, getting to her feet.

" That sounds good… " Milly whispered as the reality of the situation started to press down on her, tears streaming down her cheeks.

(End)

The door opened but she didn't feel much like rolling over to see who was there. Someone was supposed to go get Meryl so she wouldn't be alone. Meryl would make her feel a little better if she were there because that's what best friends did, they made each other feel good just by being there. " Miss Thompson? " Deborah called quietly.

" Yes? " Milly replied weakly. She hurt all over and wanted to sleep but she couldn't. The midwife had given her something for her physical pain but it did nothing for the hurt in her soul.

" You have a visitor, " Deborah pushed the door open a little more.

Milly sniffled, " Is it my friend? "

" It's a gentleman that says he knows you, " The door was opened all the way and Milly looked at the shadows on the wall. The light from the suns was behind Deborah and the man who had come to visit so their forms were cast in front of her.

" Um… hi, " Wolfwood's voice caused her to feel happy and even more depressed at the same time.

~What is he doing here? Is he going to be mad at me? ~ Milly thought, new tears coming to her eyes.

Deborah took a step back, her shadow getting smaller. " I'll leave you two alone. Do you need anything before I go, Miss Thompson? "

" No, " Milly shook her head before burrowing down in the pillow. She heard Wolfwood walk into the room and the door shut behind him. He took a few more steps but stopped. She waited for him to say something but he didn't.

The silence was almost too much to bear as it enveloped the both of them. He knew the silence was making her uncomfortable but he couldn't find any words to say to her. She wouldn't be in the condition she was in if it weren't for him. He wanted say something… anything but he couldn't.

She waited for him to speak but all she could hear was his breathing. She was afraid to look at him. She was certain he was mad at her for not knowing. She should have known… it was her body after all.

He took two steps towards the bed, his feet feeling like lead weights. He tried his voice again but it seemed stuck in his throat and it wouldn't budge. He tried to make some kind of noise to let her know he was there because he cared but that should have been obvious. If he didn't care, he wouldn't be struggling for words to express how sorry he was and how he wished for all of her pain to be in his body instead of hers.

" Please say something, " Milly whispered. " If you're mad at me, I'll understand. I should have {sob} been more careful. I should have been the first to {sob} know. "

His inability to speak was giving her the idea he was afraid she would get and it was totally wrong. He had to make her know that he didn't blame her… that he blamed himself. No words in the world would bring back the baby so he decided he would have to show her how he felt. He shut his eyes, trying not to think of the bloodstained sheets he had seen in the hallway and trying not to think about what she had suffered because of him.

" Mr. Wolfwood? " Milly whispered. She wanted to look at him but she was too tired to lift her head. She wanted to see his face so she could see what kind of mood he was in. She was certain he was angry and couldn't convince herself otherwise.

He reached the bed and looked down at her. He was a part of her because of what he had done to her in a desperate and selfish act. She had carried his child, unaware of its infinitesimal presence until she had lost it but she wasn't to blame… he was. ~Only if I sent her away that night… she wouldn't be here… this wouldn't have happened. ~

Milly took a sharp breath, feeling the bed sink with his weight. She felt him slip his arms around her waist very slowly, both of his hands resting on top of her hand that was on her stomach. He wasn't holding her tight but it was enough to let her know that he cared. She knew the situation had affected him just the opposite of how she thought he would react.

He moved closer to her but didn't want to hold her too tight in case his choice of action was wrong and made her uncomfortable. He figured if he held her it would at least let her know he wasn't angry. She was tense, her muscles stiff against him and he frowned. It didn't seem to matter what he tried, he always hurt more than helped when it came to her.

She wanted to be held but panicked when she felt him moving away, " No. Stay. Please. Hold me… just hold me, " She whispered.

He stopped his retreat and she relaxed a little. He took a breath and attempted to speak. " Honey, " He whispered. He paused for a long time, afraid his voice would leave him again. He rose up a little, " I'm so sorry honey, " He murmured and kissed her hair.

She felt him lay his face against hers, her hair the only thing between them and he fell silent again. She felt something warm and wet seep through the strands, new tears coming to her eyes when she realized he was crying. " You're crying… " She stated before she sobbed sharply. " I thought you would be mad at me. "

" No. I could never be mad at you. It wasn't your fault, honey, " He whispered. ~It was mine. ~

**

Meryl walked back into Knives' room and Vash looked up at her. " What took you so long? "

" I went ahead and heated the water so we can clean up later, " Meryl motioned lamely over her shoulder. " You know, to get all the important places. "

" Oh. I could use a good wash. Who was that at the door? " Vash had already wrapped Knives' left shoulder and was working on his right. It looked like the bandages had been changed on his legs while Meryl was gone.

" My boss, " Meryl wrapped her arms around her waist. " Something happened to Milly. "

Vash stopped wrapping Knives' shoulder, " Was there an accident? "

Meryl shook her head, " I don't know. Wolfwood heard she was hurt and demanded to go see her because I needed to help you with Knives. "

" Did you find out anything at all? " Vash started wrapping Knives' shoulder again.

" She was having stomach pains and the well foreman went to the bar to see if I was there. My boss went back to the well with him to tell Milly he was going to get me but she was in even worse pain and they had to take her to the midwife's house, " Meryl watched as Vash dropped the roll of bandage cloth. " He said it was the closest house. "

Vash picked up the roll, " Oh. Don't scare me like that. "

" Wolfwood freaked out when he heard that too. I didn't really think anything of it at first but… " Meryl tightened her arms around her waist. " Vash… "

Vash arched an eyebrow as he secured the dressing, " What? "

Meryl shut her eyes and silently counted out how many days it had been since they left Tonim Town. She felt light headed as she realized what she was afraid of become a definite possibility. " Oh no… "

Vash dashed to her side and caught her as she started to fall. He grabbed her by her shoulders and held her by them as he looked down into her face. " Meryl! What's wrong? "

Meryl looked up at Vash, " Are you and Wolfwood still connected? "

Vash shook his head, " The connection broke when I shot Knives. I still don't totally understand what happened with all of that but I know the connection is gone. "

" What do you mean? " Meryl furrowed her brow.

Vash shut his eyes, " I felt… different when we were connected. I felt like there was a part of me somewhere else but I lost that feeling after the battle. I felt complete again, " He re-opened his eyes, " Why are you asking me? "

Meryl wilted in his hands, " I thought maybe if you were still connected… "

" I could find out where he is and what's going on? " Vash finished the sentence quietly. Meryl nodded and he shut his eyes again. " I never had any control over the connection… I didn't even know it existed until I came home and found Wolfwood in the shape he was in. "

Meryl felt like a scared little girl for a moment, her body trembling as he held her. " Vash… "

" It'll be okay, Meryl. We just have to wait for Wolfwood to come back and he can tell us what happened. I need to stay here with Knives and you… " His voice trailed off as he opened his eyes and looked into hers.

" What do I need to do, Vash? "

Vash sighed and bit his lip. He took a deep breath and exhaled. " Meryl, you need to stay here with me because… I need you. "

" Oh Vash, " Meryl whispered and reached to hug him.

" I can can't cook worth squat and I'm getting hungry, " Vash smirked at the end of the comment.

Meryl took a moment to process the remark and her face turned red, " You jerk! " She said, trying not to giggle as she slapped at him. She took a step back, " Go wash up and I'll start dinner. "

Vash patted her shoulder, " Don't worry. I'm sure everything will be okay. "

Meryl nodded, " I hope. "