Trigun Fan Fiction ❯ An Alternate Ending ❯ Part Twelve: Turning point ( Chapter 12 )

An Alternate Ending

By Bekka Mouri-Hibiki

Part 12: Turning Point

(Trigun doesn't belong to me and I'm not making any money from this so please don't sue. Wolfwood wakes up before dawn and leaves Milly's side to ponder his life so far.)

Oh no I can't let you go,

My little girl

Because you're holding up my world,

So I need you

Your imitation of my walk

And the perfect way you talk

It's just a couple of the million things

That I love about you

So I need you - 3 Doors Down

He wasn't for certain what time it was but he was awake. She was still in his arms… too still and he couldn't feel her moving at all. She felt warm but panic seized him in spite of that. He held his breath to see if she was breathing and sighed when he heard her deep even breaths.

He eased his arms from around her, knowing she was too deep asleep to be bothered by anything. He had been scared to let her go early in the night but now it would be okay. He had to sort things out before he could speak to her… he had to figure out just exactly where he was and where he was heading. He also had to figure out if he wanted to take her down that path or let her go to find someone who could make her happy and not hurt her constantly.

He slipped out of the bed, looking at her as he did. His heart ached as he backed away slowly, sure he could do nothing except hurt her if he stayed with her. He sighed and turned to the door to leave but stopped when he heard her move slightly. He looked back over his shoulder, finding she was still asleep and that she had stretched her long legs out from the bent position they had been in.

He waited for a few moments to see if she would realize she was alone but she didn't wake up and he went to the door. He opened it very slowly, slipping out into the hall before he shut it quietly. He had been so numb when Deb led him to the room; he wasn't sure how to get out of the house. He looked around, getting his bearings straight as he decided which way to go and picked left.

" Awake? " Deb's quiet question startled Wolfwood. She was standing behind him, a fresh cup of coffee in her hand. She wore a plain faded pink robe and white slippers.

Wolfwood took a breath to steady his nerves as he turned to face her, " Yeah. "

" Would you like some coffee, Mr. Wolfwood? " Deb asked.

Wolfwood ran a hand though his hair, " That sounds pretty good. "

" Then follow me this way, " Deb motioned over her shoulder. She then turned and walked down the hall. Wolfwood followed her to the tiny kitchen and took a seat at a small table that had only two chairs. She filled a mug with coffee and set it down, " Do you take it black or would you like some sugar or cream? "

" Black is fine, " Wolfwood said, picking up the mug and taking a sip. He grimaced because it was strong. Meryl had been watering down his coffee since his blood loss and the forced drying out period that had followed. The true effects from not having coffee, cigarettes or alcohol didn't hit him full force until after he had told Milly he wasn't sure what he was feeling for her.

He had to suffer through it alone because Meryl was busy caring for Vash and really couldn't have dealt with the hell his body was putting him through. Milly was staying away from him except to take care of him in the morning or at night and refused to say anything to him other than what was necessary. He stared down into his coffee, wondering if she even cared about what was happening to him at that time or if she believed he deserved it. He decided that there was no way that Milly would like the thought of anyone in pain but he still wished he hadn't been alone because it had been a rough time with the nightmares and other things the depravation caused.

" You had a visitor last night, " Deb said quietly before taking a sip from her mug of coffee.

Wolfwood nodded once, " I wasn't quite asleep when she came by. "

" She was worried about Ms. Thompson and you, Mr. Wolfwood. I told her there really isn't much she can do except be there for you both, " Deb set her mug down. " She didn't tell me much about the two of you and it really isn't my way to pry but I'll listen if you want to talk about it. "

" No… it's okay. I'm really good at taking confessions but making them is the hard part, " Wolfwood took a sip of his coffee. He wondered if Meryl had said anything to Deb about his profession or if Meryl stayed quiet, thinking Deb wouldn't believe he was a priest.

Deb reached over and touched his hand lightly after he set the mug back down. " That's fine then. If you do want to talk about it, I'll be here for you. "

" I'll remember that, " Wolfwood said, standing up.

" Where are you going? " Deb asked, standing up as well.

Wolfwood looked towards the window that sat above the sink, " I want to take I little walk. I have some things I need to figure out before I can face Milly again. "

" I think that's a good idea, " Deb looked at Wolfwood. " Do you need me to show you out? "

Wolfwood looked a little surprised, " You give up easily, don't you? "

Deb blinked, " What do you mean? "

" Aren't you going to try to worm any information out of me? " Wolfwood looked down at her.

"I told you I don't pry, " Deb shook her head. " I believe if someone wants to talk, they will if they know there will be someone to listen. I think you just have to figure out the words you need to say and whom you need to say them to. Am I right? "

Wolfwood thought it over and shut his eyes, " That's true. Maybe we can talk once I get it straight in my own head."

**

Vash opened his eyes and looked down at where Meryl had pillowed her head against his chest. She had actually found a place where she wouldn't get poked by metal. His right arm was wrapped loosely around her, his hand resting on her hip. She looked so tiny and delicate lying against him but he knew better. She was truly a five feel tall block of dynamite, ready to explode as soon as her fuse was lit.

He stopped his thoughts, realizing her temper hadn't been as short as it once was. She seemed a little calmer and not so prone to hitting him… except for that time after the angry mob had almost killed Wolfwood and him. Vash decided he deserved that though because it hadn't been a good idea to give Meryl such a ferocious kiss where everyone and their Thomas could see them.

He eased Meryl off of him, wanting to go check on Knives so Meryl could sleep a little longer. She moved a bit but remained asleep as he slipped out from under the covers. He straightened his rumpled pajamas and left the room, shutting the door behind him as quietly as he could. He leaned against the door for a moment, recalling what had happened the night before.

He was certain she wanted to go all the way but she stopped, afraid that it wouldn't be right to do so. They were both worried about Wolfwood and Milly, wondering how to help them cope with their loss. Once he was finished with Knives, he would go for a walk and find the midwife's house. He wasn't quite certain where it was but he would walk until he found it or someone to give him directions.

He opened the door to Knives' room slowly, finding his twin was still comatose. He slipped into the room quietly shutting the door behind him. He moved to the bed and started to check the bandages that covered where he had shot Knives, noticing the wounds were healing very slowly. He turned to get clean bandages when a dull cold shiver ran down his spine… the same one he felt when his brother spoke to him with his mind except it was fraction of it's usual strength.

~You reek of human, brother… ~ Knives' voice was so quiet, Vash was sure if he was hearing it.

Vash turned and looked down, " That's because I shared a bed with one, brother. "

Knives tried to open his eyes, his eyelids twitching as he tried to make them move. ~You disgust me… ~

Vash chuckled, " Where's your mind? I just shared a bed with her. I haven't done anything with her… well, not yet anyway. "

~Are you planning on doing something so vile? ~

Vash sat down on the edge of the bed, " Actually I think it might be beautiful… I'm just waiting for the right time. "

~Get away from me… ~ Knives hissed mentally.

Vash shrugged, " Okay then. I'll just leave a note for Meryl to change your bandages when she wakes up. You know, she is the one who's been helping me change them. "

~You let human touch me? ~ If Knives were stronger, the question would have been more of an angry shout.

" She's doing it because she cares, Knives. If she didn't, she would have put a bullet in your twisted brain as soon as I brought you here, " Vash patted his brother's arm. He smirked, " Either that or she loves me. "

~If she touches me, I will kill her. ~

" You're not strong enough to sneeze, " Vash said quietly. " Please, Knives. I want you to start over and try to understand the humans… they aren't bad. "

~I will destroy every last one of them once I recover, ~ Knives told Vash coldly.

Vash slipped a finger under the bandages on Knives' left shoulder, placing it on the wound the cloth covered. He shut his eyes and a tear slipped down his cheek, " I'm sorry about this, Knives but I can't let you get better until you understand that humans deserve to live. "

Knives tried to protest but he became weak, his voice fading from Vash's mind as he slipped back into total unconsciousness. Vash pulled his hand away slowly as more tears fell from his eyes.

" Oh God… Vash… " A gasp was followed by the soft sound of cloth rumpling to the floor caused Vash to open his eyes. Through his tears, he could see Meryl in the doorway, a hand over her mouth and her tiny body trembling.

**

Wolfwood lay on his back, staring up at the sky. He was numbly aware that the suns were slowly coming up as he tried to figure out what made Milly different than the other women he had been with. The answers came easily… he had never had to rescue her and she owed him nothing. The day in Kebas was the closest he had ever come to saving her but the sandworm stopped and retreated almost as mysteriously as it had attacked.

His gut twisted as he remembered her forlorn face that day… he had never seen anyone look so sad or bewildered in his life and it drove a knife right through his heart. His ray of hope… his beautiful perpetually smiling big girl looked at him as if he were some sort of demon even though it was the demon that lay dead on the roof. He felt that his heart would collapse if he looked at her any longer so he shut his eyes and left. He spent three days by himself with no food and wrapped in nothing but his despair wondering if he had done the right thing.

(Flashback)

He watched as Meryl and Milly guided their Thomases into Tonim Town, Vash trudging along beside them with his head low. His posture spoke volumes of how he felt about what had happened. Wolfwood wished he could explain it to Vash in some way that would make the stubborn fool understand there was no other way but he knew Vash would only argue. He had enough of Vash's arguing on the roof and that was why he hit the only person he had ever felt close to in his life other than the cold closeness he had felt for Chapel.

Chapel had kept him safe and warm but he had also taught him to shoot with inhuman accuracy. While other children were playing, Wolfwood was firing a gun repeatedly for endless hours as Chapel drilled his philosophy into him. Wolfwood didn't know any better at the time so he took it as gospel but now… now he wondered how much was really the truth. Why had he just acted like a puppet for so long?

It was the next day that Chapel showed up with a new order… the order to kill Vash. The time had come to decide what to do but he felt pushed back to less than zero when he passed Vash at the town monument, his eyes looking like that of a wounded child. He had to look away; if Milly's look had shoved a knife in his heart, Vash's expression was twisting it slowly… deeper and causing more pain. Vash didn't follow and Wolfwood was glad… he needed time to make up his mind.

He had no idea he had so many cigarettes on until he looked down at the pile of butts in the ashtray… there was at least twenty if not more. Another one was held loosely in his lips as he wished that Vash had hit him or at least done something to him in return. His jumped mentally as he heard the front door of the house he was in swing open. He was scared it was Chapel, coming to him with a deadline for when Vash had to be dead but a cheery voice banished that thought.

He felt his lip twitch just slightly, wondering if Milly was just putting on or if her cheeriness was sincere. He wondered if she could fake anything at all as she opened the door, her face bright and happy. She busied herself as she told him that she had brought sandwiches and asked if he took his coffee black. He hated to speak but he had to… he wanted to know what she thought about what he had done.

He felt his heart drop as her mood became somber but he wanted to know… he had to have her opinion. He listened to her before letting his thoughts and emotion pour from him. He had never let anyone see him cry so he placed his hand over his eyes, sobbing as he wondered where he had gone wrong when he had thought he was always right. He felt her wrap her hands around his head and pull him to her chest, the back of his hand resting against her breasts.

She was so kind to him by staying with him when he asked her not to leave him alone…

(Flashback over)

Wolfwood sat up when he heard someone running up the hill, wondering whom it was. The footsteps sounded too heavy to be Deb's… they sounded more like Vash's. Wolfwood got to his feet in time to catch the blond by the shoulders. Tear filled green eyes opened in surprise and blinked a couple of times as he tried to process what was happening.

" Vash? " Wolfwood asked.

Vash looked away and down at the ground, " I think I just ruined everything. "