Trigun Fan Fiction ❯ Believe ❯ One-Shot

Sorry. Been a bit busy lately, and have therefore, been putting the writing on the back-burner. Hopefully, I can post at FFnet again soon, and put this one, as well as the other few that belong there up. ^^; I dunno if they're still having technical retardations or not. [if you're reading this now, I guess they aren't ^^;;; Still have a couple LegatoxMidvalley fics to upload. They're coming soon (done but not uploaded...), I promise!]I've been getting a little stuck on the writing lately, and am, therefore, missing things that fill in some of the blanks on this. Sections that come before this particular story, that fill in things like why it freaks Vash out to have anyone touch his face along that one section. The thing you'll need to know to fill that in is that, Knives did the same thing to him that he did to Legato, covering the smile thing. That'll be covered in something, eventually. I've got it in the works, it's just not coming together very well. Nothing seems to want to come together at all, lately...There are several little fic-lets in the works, between Tsuki and I, and, eventually, we intend to put all of them together to form a massive fic. Eventually. Sections will end up here, as well as other stuff. They *will* still be incorporated into the larger story. You're welcome to wait until we finish it, so it's all together, but that may be a VERY long while. [if ever… -.-]

Speaking of massive fic work, we should get back to working on the Soul Reaver fic, as well. Nothing quite like HORRIBLE PERVERSION of *every* *single* *thing* said in that game...*sigh* We're horrible children, aren't we?Don't answer that.

Now then...

Pairings:

Vash/Wolfwood, implied Knives/Vash (obsession, controlling)

Disclaimer:

Trigun belongs to Nightow-sama and a plethora of other people/companies. If you sue, you get a half-broken computer and a handful of cds, but that's about it. It's not worth it.

Reading beyond this point removes your right to flame me....

(remember, there IS a difference between critiques and flames ^^;)

Nicholas wrestled Vash to the floor, effectively pinning the legendary gunman's wrists with his hands. Nicholas hovered above him for a moment, then lowered himself down, resting across Vash's body. He refused, however, to let go of the other man's wrists. Vash wiggled, trying to get out from beneath the unconventional priest, but soon gave up, realizing that it just wasn't going to happen. Deciding to make the best of the situation, Vash moved his legs, wrapping them around Nicholas' waist.

"HEY! What the hell?" Nicholas eyes shot open, as the blonde beneath him applied pressure to his back.

"Now who's trapped?" Vash asked, grinning mischievously.

"You."

Vash let out a little sigh, and a pout crossed his face. Nicholas moved his lips over Vash's and took the pouting lower lip in his teeth. Vash's mouth opened a little, and Nicholas slid his tongue inside, running it along the roof of Vash's mouth. Vash shivered slightly, and pressed his lips back to Nicholas'. Hard. The kiss lasted at least a full minute, and both were left a bit breathless.

Vash's hands traveled across Nicholas' face, and started down his neck. He stopped suddenly, lowering them to his collar bone, and skipping everything in between.

"You always do that."

"I know."

"You shouldn't. It's really sensitive right here," Nicholas ran his fingers over Vash's throat.

"I know."

The words sounded hollow, and Nicholas decided it best to drop the subject. He pressed his hips down and Vash let out a small gasp. His eyes went wide, and Nicholas smiled. The two just looked at each other, for several minutes, blinking only when necessary, losing themselves in each other's eyes. After a time, Nicholas' eyes began to look distant, and Vash strained to lift his head, pressing his lips lightly to the other man's cheek.

"Nicholas?"

"Hmm?"

"What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing, really."

"I don't believe you." Vash's usual response began to kick in, a small pout appearing almost instantly on his already-adorable face.

"Why not?"

"You look far away."

"Maybe I'm thinking about you."

"I'm right here. Don't leave."

"I'm not leaving," Nicholas replied, moving one hand from Vash's wrist to trace it over his lips. "I'm not leaving..."

Vash smiled softly, and Nicholas' finger moved to the corner of his mouth, tracing across the edge. Vash tensed, his eyes going dark. He looked away. "Sorry...I didn't mean to. I forget..."

"It's okay," Vash's voice was hard-edged, and didn't seem to at all back up the words that he'd just spoken.

Nicholas rolled off of him, and the instant he was free, Vash rolled over onto his side, turning his back to Nicholas.

He choked down a small sob, and it came out sounding louder and more anguished than he'd intended. He closed his eyes, and saw a face very similar to his own. The main differences were that the hair was lighter, and that the defining mole beneath the eye was on the opposite side. Well, that and the much harder expression on the face. The eyes, more blue, and colder than Vash's seemed to both laugh and scowl at the same time. Cold ice that mocked him.

Nicholas touched Vash's shoulder. His eyes were soft, and concerned, but Vash couldn't see that. He could only see that face behind his eyelids, and knew that even if he opened his eyes, it wasn't likely to leave. Vash pulled away from Nicholas' hand. Nicholas sighed and lay down beside him. He pressed his chest to Vash's back, cursing Vash's extravagant red coat that blocked him from being any closer. He put one arm over Vash, and buried his other hand in the spikey blonde hair, effectively pulling down most of the spikes.

"Tongari...."

Vash's eyes opened slowly, and his voice came even slower. "I don't want to remember, anymore."

Nicholas kissed Vash's cheek gently. "Let me help you forget for a while."

Vash closed his eyes again, and after a few moments, spoke quieter than before. "I don't want to see his face anymore."

Nicholas applied a small amount of pressure to Vash's shoulder, rolling him over so he could look at his face. "Then look at mine."

Vash mouth curved upward slightly in a smile, but it never reached his eyes. He wanted to smile. He did. Nicholas fought to keep his eyes open; the empty look in Vash's cutting right through him. Vash's arms wrapped loosely around Nicholas' waist, and the smile fell away from his face.

"I didn't mean to..." Nicholas started.

"I know."

"It's hard not to...your mouth just curves naturally that way."

"I know." Vash's eyes closed for a moment, several tears leaking out the sides. Nicholas leaned over him, and wiped a few of them away.

"Don't cry, Tongari. Please."

"I don't mean to... I don't...mean to make things so complicated." His eyes opened again, and Nicholas had to look away. Vash took Nicholas' chin in his hands, and turned his face back. For an instant or two, Nicholas was sure he was going to drown in those eyes. "I...appreciate your patience with me."

"You're worth waiting for."

Vash smiled again, a small one. It almost reached his eyes, and Nicholas put one on himself. He leaned over and kissed Vash softly on the lips. "I'll wait as long as I have to. As long as you need to. "

Vash's smile reached up to his eyes, and Nicholas' closed his own, smiling, as well. "Good things are worth waiting for, right, Tongari?"

Vash nodded, and pulled Nicholas back over him. The weight of the other man's body on top of his comforted him. He pulled Nicholas down, and buried his face in the dark hair.

"Aishiteru, Nicholas."

"Aishiteru, Tongari."

Laying there, eyes closed, Vash's mind began to wander. He tried to keep from seeing that face, tried to keep from thinking about Knives. He concentrated on Nicholas. He focused on different things, switching often, as he felt his concentration slipping. First sound of his heart, faint, but audible in the silence. The pressure on his hips, the pressure on his chest. Nicholas' fingers would move occasionally, absently toying with a button, or the cloth of Vash's coat. He focused on that. On the combined rise and fall of both of their breathing. Anything tangible. Anything to keep his mind off that face; off the past.

Finally, Nicholas broke the silence, moving as he spoke. He propped himself up on his arms, hovering slightly over Vash, so he could see his face. "You're never this quiet. What are you thinking about?"

"You." A small lopsided grin appeared on Vash's face.

"That's not an answer."

"Sure it is."

"It is not."

"Your eyes."

Nicholas smiled a little.

"Your mouth."

Nicholas' grin got wider.

"Your hands."

Nicholas' hands moved in response to the words, tugging gently at the buttons on the coat. He got most of them undone, and Vash pushed himself upward on each elbow in turn, pulling his arms out of the sleeves. He pressed most of his body upward and Nicholas reached under him with one hand, pulling the coat from beneath him. Before Vash could drop back down, Nicholas slid both his arms underneath him and held him for a moment. His breath ghosted in Vash's ear, and the blonde trembled. Nicholas smiled against his cheek, and released him.

"Your breath."

Nicholas leaned forward, running his tongue along the upper edge of Vash's ear. He jumped.

"Your hips."

Nicholas pressed his lower body against Vash's.

"I think maybe I need you." He whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Nicholas paused for a moment before continuing. "More than my cigarettes."

Vash reached up and began unbuttoning Nicholas' white shirt.

"More than my bible."

Vash slid the shirt off Nicholas' shoulders and trailed his hands down his back.

"I want to believe in you." The words were little more than a whisper as they passed from Vash's lips.

Nicholas' eyes closed tightly, fighting a voice that sounded in his head. He pulled back, shaking his head. Look at that, Chapel. He wants to believe in a traitor. Isn't that cute? The eerily beautiful voice bounced off his mind, echoing softly. Fuck you, Legato. Nicholas concentrated on the thought, turning it into a louder, more prominent response. Laughter echoed in his head, until Vash's voice cut through.

"...'s wrong? Nicholas? Hey!"

"Nothing. I'm fine."

His breathing slowed, returning to normal, as he rested his face on Vash's chest. "Nothing at all."

He lay there for a moment, not moving. "What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing," Nicholas paused a moment, then added, "You?"

"Overcoming some of my fears."

He placed his hands on the sides of Nicholas' face. Slowly, he moved them down, running them gently over the other man's neck. He stopped several times, closing his eyes, and forcing himself to continue. Nicholas smiled.

"I'd like to help you get over a few of them."

Vash smiled.

Suddenly, Nicholas tensed, another voice echoing inside of his head, as Vash's hands tightened around his throat.

ONLY ME. He only touches ME there. He belongs to ME. He only touches ME.

Bullshit. He can touch whoever he wants.

He belongs to ME.

No he doesn't. He doesn't want to.

ME.

He can belong to whoever he wants to.

MINE.

Nicholas struggled, prying the hands from around his throat. Vash's eyes were vacant. Staring, but unseeing. Nicholas knew that he, too, was struggling with that same voice. That same face.

MINE.

He's not yours.

MINE.

Fuck you.

I will destroy you, Chapel.

Fuck you.

HE. IS. MINE. Each word was emphasized heavily, with a pause between each word. As each one sounded inside his head, Nicholas recoiled.

Mine. Mine. MINE.

Nicholas felt the other mind slipping away. He closed his eyes and leaned over, resting a hand on the floor. He could still hear the voice, even though the presence was gone. Echoing words that he had heard several times before, and would hear countless times again, he was certain.

"What happened?" The question came innocently, but he knew Vash knew exactly what had happened.

"Knives."

"I know that. But what happened?"

"His usual bullshit."

Vash's eyes got sad, and he touched Nicholas' shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"Why does he hate you so much?"

"Because I don't hate you." Nicholas refused to meet Vash's eyes. "And other reasons."

"What other reasons?"

Silence followed the question, and Nicholas pulled his shoulder from under Vash's hand. "Reasons that have to do with the question I asked you the last time you pulled away from me?"

"Yeah. Maybe."

"C'mere?"

"I don't have the energy to move."

Vash placed his hand on Nicholas' arm. "Take some of mine."

"No." The word was hard, definite.

Nicholas moved slowly, and eventually lay down next to Vash, resting his head on his chest. After a minute, he seemed to find the strength to talk again.

"I told him you belonged to whoever you wanted to."

Vash cringed.

"You don't have to belong to me, either. If you love me, that's enough."

"I do."

"That's more than I ever expected."

"Me too."

Nicholas arm lay across the space between Vash's chest and stomach. He tightened it, effectively producing something similar to a hug. Vash held him tighter, and repeated the words he'd said earlier.

"I want to believe in you."

"I want to believe in you, too."

"You already believe in something."

"There's always room for more things to believe in, isn't there?"

Vash closed his eyes, relaxing his hold a bit. Nicholas moved a bit more, bringing his head even with Vash's own. He kissed him.

"Gomen." Vash whispered softly before pressing his lips hard to Nicholas'. "Gomen nasai." He kissed him harder, possessing Nicholas' mouth with his own. The kiss lasted until neither of them could breathe.

"Can I go now?"

Vash kissed him again.

"Is that a yes?"

"Keep your promise."

"Sayonara, Tongari. See you soon."

Nicholas closed his eyes.

" Aishiteru, Nicholas."

" Aishiteru, Tongari."

The two slept.