Trigun Fan Fiction ❯ Gossamer Wings and Sweet Tasting Things ❯ Angelinas ( Chapter 3 )

-----Gossamer Wings and Sweet Tasting Things-----
---A Trigun Fanfiction---

-----DISCLAIMER-----

My extensive list of possessions is fundamentally lacking
in the ownership of Trigun department.

-----AUTHOR'S NOTES-----

Lynda: Er... Where did THIS idea come from?! Angelina?!?! O_o Mweheheh.... Oh, Wolfwood's comin'... He's comin'...

Kuroneko: Mya?

-----*+*-----

Vash picked himself up off the ground, rubbing his backside which was hurting from the latest fall from grace and height. Confusion seemed such a huge part of his existence nowadays, and this latest escapade wasn't helping to change this. From Heaven to Hell and now here... Where was here?

Here seemed to be a desert, glinting from the light of a pearly moon, the sand looking silvery. On closer inspection it was silver. And it didn't seem to end. Even Vash, who had wandered the world several times over, was impressed with the infinitive space. And there weren't any dunes. The sand stretched flatly into a concaved horizon, giving the viewer a sensation of being able to see the curve of the planet.

'Impressive, eh?' a sweet little voice asked behind him. Vash nodded then froze, slowly turning around to face the voice with trepidation.

It was a girl. She was about chest height, had short, messy red hair, pearly complexion and a sweet smile. Her clothes were what looked like some kind of motorcycle leather jump-suit. It was grey with red stripes up the arms and legs. The one thing that sparked interest, however, were her eyes. They were silver from lid to lid, not a blemish or pupil to mark the frightening space of mithril. It was quite disconcerting to be gazing into your own horrified face.

She blinked those eerie eyes then grinned congenially.

'Hallo. You're new. And you don't even have an appointment!'

'A-Appointment?' Vash managed, mesmerized by her terrible mirror eyes. She reached into the top breast pocket of her flight suit and pulled out a piece of paper.

'Are you Elfman? Danny Elfman?'

'Um... No.'

'No, I didn't think so. How about Hagen? Bugenhagen?'

'No.'

'How 'bout Ned? Ned Kelly?'

''Fraid not.'

'Um... James Stuart?'

'Not me.'

'Well come on mister! Gimme a hand, I can't read minds.'

'Me? I'm... Um... Vash.' Vash said slowly, still wary from his experiences in Hell. The cute girl's grin broadened.

'Vash? Vash the Stampede? Cool!' she exclaimed, shoving the paper back into her pocket and taking his hand in hers to pump it enthusiastically. 'I'm Angelina! Pleased to meet ya!'

'Angelina?!' Vash blurted, prying his hand free and taking a step back in fear. If Rem and Black Jack were in league with her, this could only mean trouble. She skipped back a step, giggled and clasped her hands together behind her back in a 'cute' demeanor.

'Heard of me? Well I guess you would have if Miss. Rem sent you!' she exclaimed, cocking her head slightly to the left.

'I-' Vash started. He swallowed and tried again. 'I only caught your... Name.' He fidgeted under her steely gaze. Angelina squinted at him them clapped her hands.

'I guess this is intro-DUCTION time!!' She shouted cheerily. Bounding forward she took an elaborate bow, sweeping her hand in the expansive gesture. 'Pleased to meet your acquaintance! My name is Angelina I! I am your host and tutor for the next couple of weeks or months or however long it takes you wear you into your new job!' she exclaimed, straightening and flashing him a dazzling smile. Vash blinked.

'Job?' he croaked, quickly becoming out of his depth.

'Oh, hell yeah! We at Heiloz believe in personal tutoring. I mean, how is someone supposed to learn if they don't get close to their teacher, y'know?'

'H- Heiloz?!' Vash managed. Angelina stared quizzically at him.

'Did Rem really send you, or is Black Jack throwing another one his pranks?' she asked suddenly, frowning.

'I...' gurgled a very out of it Stampede.

'Hey, sparky, how the hell did you get here!?' the young girl asked, raising a fist and glaring with scary intensity.

'RemandBlackJacksentmeherewhenIblewuptoomanythingsinHeavenandH ell-' Vash blurted in one breath, backing up several steps and raising his hands as shields. Angelina broke out into a grin.

'Oh I see! That's why I wasn't informed! Yes, this job will suit you perfectly!'

'What job?!' Vash finally managed, flailing his arms about. Angelina blinked.

'Guardian Angel of course. We train angels. It's what Heiloz does.'

'Guar...dian angel?' the 60 billion double dollar man repeated, confused. The girl giggled and grabbed his hand.

'We'll have you worn into your Wings in no time!' she cheered, raising his hand with one of her own and then high-5-ing it with the other.

'Uh?'

'Who's the new recruit?' a snappish voice demanded to their left. Turning, Vash found himself face to face with... Angelina. Turning back, the tall blonde took in the Angelina at his side then the one standing a few feet away.

'Uh?'

'This is Vash the Stampede!' the first Angelina exclaimed, clapping the dumbfounded Typhoon on the back.

'Yeah?' the second asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow. There were differences... The new one had blue hair, not red, and her flight suit had blue stripes up the legs and arms. But other than that, they were identical.

'Who... Who is this!?' he spluttered, pointing a finger at the affronted blue Angelina. Red Angelina blinked then grinned.

'Oh there are more than one Angelina, silly!' she giggled.

'More?' Vash croaked, suddenly thinking that both Heaven and Hell were pretty inviting. The blue Angelina glared at him.

'Are you stupid?! Of course there is more than @#$%ing one! Like one Angelina could teach a dumb @#$% like you to be a Winger.' she spat, folding her arms and narrowing her metallic eyes. Red Angelina grinned.

'He'll be a Winger.' she retorted convivially, sticking out her tongue. 'He'll be the best there ever was!'

'The best?' a small voice asked coldly on Vash's right. Turning he jumped in horror as yet another Angelina regarded him stoically. This one had blonde hair with yellow stripes on the flight suit. She gazed at him steadily then pulled out a notepad and began jotting down something.

'My research begs to differ.' she said quietly in monotone, suddenly producing a calculator and punching some numbers. 'And my calculations point towards financial disaster and economical ruin.'

'Eeh...' Vash managed, his finger now pointed, wavering, over to the blond Angelina. Red Angelina snorted stubbornly and clutched his arm protectively.

'We'll prove 'em both wrong, won't we Vash?' she stated firmly, sticking her nose up at her doppelgangers.

'Cha, RIGHT.' snapped blue Angelina.

'What was Ms. Rem thinking?' yellow Angelina wondered aloud quietly, staring contemplatively at the moon.

'Stop complaining! Business has been slow lately! You should be grateful that Rem and Black Jack even thought of us!' Red Angelina retorted, hugging Vash's arm pretty damn tightly. In fact it was cutting off the circulation.

'Rem?! What's she up to, sendin' a dumbass like that to Heiloz?!' blue Angelina demanded throwing her arms up in annoyance while Vash tried to pry off red Angelina.

'If we are to train it, I believe haste would be the wisest and more economical choice of action.' yellow Angelina droned, turning her steady gaze to Vash.

'I suppose we should start.' Red murmured as the Humanoid Typhoon began looking desperately around for a crowbar.

'Oh, I guess this means I have to start up the @#$%in' Quadro-Atomic-Neutralization-Dissilator to prep him then, eh?' blue snarled angrily, glaring at Vash.

'The WHAT?!' the afore mentioned gunman blurted loudly, backing up, Red still attached to his arm.

'Oh no.' Yellow interjected sternly. 'we cannot afford to put this human through the Dissilator. The Beryllium required to reach the Atomic Neuron Re-Writing Phase is well out of our price range at current point in time.' Vash breathed out in relief. Red shook her head.

'Why don't we just slap him into his Wings and throw him in the deep end?' she cheered, causing him to freeze up again.

'No, no, no, no!!' he burbled incoherently, grinning nervously. 'Thanks for the offer, but I'll find some other way to spend my afterlife! So thank you Ange- The first Ang... Red An...'

'The human appears confused.' Yellow noted without compassion, tapping her pencil on her notepad. Blue snorted.

'@#$%.' she swore in a bored manner, rolling her eyes. Red grinned.

'How 'bout I make it easy for you, Mr. Vash?' She finally released his arm to jump back, spreading her own arms wide. 'I am Angelina I, but you can call me Ange, ok? Just to make things easier!'

'Oh, @#$%, this again.' groaned Blue, sighing exasperatedly. 'I'm Angelina II, but my @#$%er of a sister insists that people can call me Geli if they get confused.' She gagged at her own pet name.

'Totally impractical.' Yellow stated firmly, but put away her notepad anyway. 'Despite my title of Angelina III, for comprehensional purposes my sibling has reassured me that the label 'Lina' will suffice.' she said dryly. Vash blinked, the look on incomprehension on his face causing the three sisters to roll their eyes.

'Ange.' Ange said slowly.

'Geli.' Geli spat.

'Lina.' Lina sighed.

'Ri... Right.' Vash stuttered, backing away slowly.

'It is trying to flee.' Lina pointed out, her pencil pointing at the tall blonde non-commitedly. Geli and Ange immediately jumped our poor hero, tackling him screaming to the ground.

'This is going to be @#$%in' HELL.' Geli groaned as Vash tried to scramble away from their miscellaneous strangle holds.

'Oh, I dunno.' Ange replied, rubbing her cheek against Vash's stomach. 'He's kinda cute!'

'AAARRRRRGGGGG!!!'

-----*+*-----

'-in contrary to the Heiloz Wingers act in 1346, Dissilation and Ectoplasmic materialization was prohibited due to the steady proliferation in Quadro Fusion in Guardians and their Guards. This revelation forced the senate to revise the act, bringing us to the Wingers Act of Convention 1693. The inclination of Fusion between subjects lead to suspicions that Fusion resulted directly from interaction on a solar molecular level and-'

Vash's head drooped slightly, his eyelids feeling like they were weighed down by all the big words that were spurting endlessly from Lina's mouth. His text book under him looked good enough to serve as a pillow, and the pencil in Vash's hand slipped over the paper in barely contained fatigue. She droned on some more. Vash's head fell forward... And received a pencil up the nose from his own hand. Jerking awake and rubbing his face, Vash tried to tune in again.

'-so Dissilation and Materialization are strictly forbidden unless advised by senate to take further action. And example of this situation occurred in 1769, when Arch Angel Bennett intervened the Wingers conventional-'

So... Boring...

'And as a result of the actions- Mr. Vash? Mr. Vash the Stampede? Are you listening?'

'Eh?' he murmured, snapping his head up and trying to focus stubbornly unfocused eyes on the blonde sister in front of him. She lowered her yard stick from the black board and gazed at him coldly.

'I must inform you immediately that attention is imperative if you wish to absorb the information I am giving you.' she scolded with all the verbal ups and downs of the landscape around them.

'Im... pera...tive.' Vash repeated slowly, squinting at the board in case it would help him with his grammar issues.

'May I put forth a query?' Lina asked in monotone.

'Um... Yes?'

'Are you an idiot?'

'HEY!'

'Answer the question Mr. Vash.'

'I am NOT an idiot!' Vash replied snappishly, then lowered his head in submission. 'But can we do something else? All this theory is turning my brain to mush.' he whined, playing with his pencil.

'... Mush?' Lina repeated coldly, her eye twitching and the yard stick held in both hands snapping in half.

'VaaaaaaaSHHHHUUUUUUUU!!!!' squealed out a familiar and perky voice.

'Oh noo...' Vash managed before Ange leapt up out of no where, jumped a good meter into the air and landed heavily on his back, arms flung around his shoulders to hook at his neck. She squeezed her grip, near strangling him and pulled Vash around in her arms a bit, rubbing her cheek on the back of his neck.

'Mou! Whacha doin' Vashu? I've missed you soooo much!'

'Air-' he wheezed in reply, trying to stand and only lifting her in the process, toes dangling off the ground. She giggled.

'You are just too CUTE!!' she cried out, sprawling over his back as Vash leant forward in an effort to spare his strangulating throat.

'You are interrupting my lesson.' Lina noted emotionlessly, somehow managing to secure herself another yard stick. She watched the pair struggle for a while before sighing and hitting her red sister over the head with her ruler. Ange yelped and immediately let go, falling to the ground and pouting.

'That HURT!' she complained, rubbing her head. Vash collapsed to the ground panting.

'Why are you present?' Lina asked, frowning slightly. It was the closest Vash had ever seen her toward an expression.

'Well, I was kinda bored and I was thinking of Vash so I thought we could go play Twister or something!'

'WHAT?!' Vash blurted, scrambling a little further away.

'My lesson has not concluded yet.' replied Lina.

'Lesson-Shmeshon.' retorted Ange.

'The information I am bequeathing unto Mr. Vash is crucial to his training.' the yellow sister gritted, eyebrow tweaking ever so slightly.

'No one needs all that garbage anyway, so we should just take it easy for a while!' Ange cheered, clapping her hands together.

'Sibling...' Lina warned.

'How's he doin' anyway?' the red sister asked, gazing down affectionately at Vash.

'We have not made any progress.'

'Ah well.'

'I am not sure my teachings will register in his brain.'

'A man after my own heart.'

'Do not make light of this situation.'

'Well, whatcha gonna do? Keep teaching him?'

'... No, in order for him to proceed away from this location, his studies need to be completed. I believe he should advance to the next level of training.' Lina stated firmly.

'YEEAHH!' Ange cheered, jumping up and down excitedly.

'Next...Level?' Vash asked, picking himself up and dusting his red coat off.

'Physical Training.' Lina replied, picking up his text book and twitching when she realized there were pictures scrawled all over it.

'Oh... Who takes me for that?' he asked warily. Ange giggled.

'Lina is our Information Expert, Geli is our Weapons and Equipment Expert and I,' she said giggling some more. 'am our Fitness Expert! Get ready Vashu, because we are going to put you through the work out of your life!'

'GEH!' Vash managed, backing up again.

'It is trying to escape again.' Lina noted.

'Mou- YOU ARE JUST SO CUTE!!!' Ange shouted gleefully, tacking Vash to the ground again, clutching him around the stomach lovingly, impervious to the screaming coming from her subject of affection.

-----*+*-----

Geli watched in a bored manner as the lithe form of Vash the Stampede dipped below her vision then rose up again in a never ending pattern.

'He's doin' ok. How long's he been at it?' she asked, turning to her red headed sister who was looking deliriously happy. Ange was sprawled on her stomach over the silver sand, chin cupped in hands that were propped up on elbows. She was looking happily mesmerized, before turning to her sister who was sitting cross-legged beside her.

'SOUND OFF!!' Ange shouted, giggling. Vash winced at her voice.

'129, 130, 131 Ange.' he replied, grimacing.

'Coach.' Ange corrected.

'133, coach.' Vash amended, dipping down to sand level before pushing himself back up again, only to start the process all over again. Push Ups were never difficult for the Humanoid Typhoon, so upon finding him comfortable in his training, Ange had decided to make the Work Out a little more strenuous. Vash had one hand behind his back, and the red headed little imp decided that having Lina sit on his shoulders was good enough for a 'healthy work out'. Lina was perched cross-legged upon Vash's higher back, arms folded and glaring at anything her eyes fell upon as she fell and rose with his motions. Geli shrugged.

'Not too bad at all. How long had you been working him before starting?' she asked, leaning back on her hands. Ange shook her head.

'I just told him to do some Push Ups, and here we are! Isn't he COOL?!?!' the red head exclaimed, gazing lovingly at Vash. Geli snorted in response.

Beside them was the crumpled and sad looking form of Vash's red coat. Ange had insisted that he ditch it for his work out. Vash was dead set against the idea from square one, but trying to argue with Ange was like trying to challenge a tornado with a vacuum cleaner. She had been acutely disappointed when she found out he wore a black body suit underneath, and had urged him to take that off as well. Apparently not. There was no way she was getting him out of that.

Ange didn't mind however, as the view was nice enough, black suit and all. Geli swore quietly beside her.

'With strength like that, you'd think he'd be a @#$%in' tank. Not some scrawny little @#$%er.' she observed stoically, settling herself backwards down onto her elbows. Ange shook her head slowly, grin plastered on her face and looking mesmerized.

'I wouldn't say scrawny, no.' she replied, having no qualms about examining the our poor hero from head to foot. They watched silently for a good time.

'How long do you intend to keep him goin'? He hasn't even broken a sweat.' Geli said, getting bored. Ange shrugged.

'Gimme a little longer.' she mumbled in response. Lina turned her dead-pan eyes onto her two sisters.

'I do not believe this activity is entirely necessary.' she pointed out. 'In fact,' she added, switching her glare to Ange. 'I conclude that this endeavor is beneficial to you and you alone.' Ange grinned.

'Should... Should we move on?' she asked embarrassedly, getting up and dusting herself off, grinning apologetically. Geli rolled her eyes.

'My turn.' she stated, jabbing a thumb at her chest. Lina clambered down off Vash's shoulders who pulled himself to his feet gratefully.

'Have I finished?' he whined, immediately retrieving his coat. Ange patted him on the shoulder.

'Congrats Vashu! You have passed the physical training! You are 100% A-OK!!' she exclaimed. Lina stared coldly at them both.

'Was there ever any doubt?' she asked in monotone. Geli pushed Ange aside and grabbed Vash by the arm.

'Ok, you @#$%in' loser. Time to deck you out and familiarize yourself with Heiloz tech.' she declared, dragging him away.

-----*+*-----

'I can see what Rem and Black Jack were thinking.' Ange admitted as she dragged away a smoldering hunk of Quadro-Atomic-Neutralization-Dissilator. 'Things tend to blow up around him, don't they?'

The huge expensive piece of machinery had blown up when Geli had tried to teach Vash how to teleport objects. It was theoretically impossible to blow something up when teleporting a bike tire, but the 60 billion double dollar man had managed it. How? It was anyone's guess.

'Indeed.' Lina agreed, punching numbers into her calculator. 'We have had him here for only a day and we are still suffering financially. I believe the same thing would've happened to Heaven and Hell.'

'Hey, have you chosen the Guard for him yet?' Ange asked suddenly, dropping the charred hunk of metal and skipping over to her blonde sister who was perched upon a motorbike tire. Lina shrugged.

'I shall start the system up to find the Compatible.' she replied, pulling out a laptop from somewhere and typing away.

Another explosion rocked the earth.

'IDIOT!! YOU @#$%ING @#$%!! WHAT THE @#$% IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?! ITS NOT THAT @#$%ING HARD!!!' Geli screamed in frustration as Vash stood grinning apologetically in the center of a smoking crater. He shrugged.

'I'm doing everything you're telling me to.' he replied indignantly, folding his arms. Geli raised a shaking fist.

'NEVER in all my time in Heiloz have I had so much trouble!!' she exclaimed, her voice quaking with suppressed rage.

'You're just not teaching me right.' Vash said shortly, grinning apologetically.

'Try again.' Geli snarled, stepping up to him and correcting his stance. 'No, don't tense up. Your fingers should be splayed. Try to relax. I SAID RELAX GOD @#$%IN' DAMMIT!!!'

'Ok, ok!'

'Now, try again. Knit the energy together... And pull the object through dimensions... Gently, gently! Slow down, its not a race...' Vash's brow furrowed in concentration. Then, very slowly, the air began fizzing, light dancing across the small mirage like wavering space just above his hand. Something went 'pop' and that something fell into Vash's hand. Geli, who had been taking cover in a freshly dug trench, peeped over the edge. Vash opened his eyes and stared down at the object in his hand.

'You did it.' the blue Angelina said, utterly shocked. Vash blinked, once, twice, then broke out into hysterical laughter.

'WELL! The most notorious and cold hearted criminal in all the world. He who slaughters the innocent! Can materialize objects out of thin air!! With the price of 60 billion double dollars on his head, YES I AM THAT MAN!!' he reeled off, pulling poses. Geli scratched her head.

'I don't get it. Where did he get the donut from?!' She sniffed the donut experimentally. It was real. But he didn't teleport it from anywhere... That must mean...

'Holy Mother @#$%ing @#$%!' she cried out, shooting an incredulous glance to Vash. 'Materialization!!'

'What did you say?' Ange asked, bounding up. Geli handed her the donut.

'He Materialized it.' she exclaimed. Ange gasped.

'But how?! That's Arch Angel territory! Did you teach him?! That's against regulations!!'

'I didn't @#$%in' tell him nothing! I was teaching him how to teleport, and he Materialized this!' the blue haired sister replied. They turned to the pose pulling idiot.

'Hey, Vashu.' Ange called. Vash looked up. 'Do what you just did, but imagine a gun.' she ordered, suddenly serious.

'I... I'll try.' Vash stuttered, resuming his stance.

32 tries later, and 32 assortments of cakes, puddings, chocolate, donuts and slices later, Vash had still failed to materialize a gun. Ange shook her head.

'He can only materialize sweet things.' she murmured. Geli scratched the back of her head.

'... I can't teach him anymore.' she admitted.

'You will not have to.' Lina called from her seat. The trio looked up. She advanced with the laptop and turned the screen to her two sisters. 'I have found his compatible Guard. A pretty easy job, so we should not worry too much. And I also checked all the registered Wingers in the general vicinity. Look who is next door.' she said, raising an eyebrow. Ange squealed.

'PUPPY!' she exclaimed, clapping her hands. Geli blinked.

'Really? He's there?' she asked.

'Oh, yes.' Lina affirmed, straightening and jotting down some notes in her notepad. 'It makes our job much easier. I am sure he would not mind tutoring the Humanoid Typhoon. Apprenticeship, one could say.' she asserted, motioning to Vash. Ange jumped up and down.

'Oh, I miss Puppy sooooo much!! Hey, Vashu! Tell Puppy I said 'hi'!' she begged. Vash blinked at her.

'Who's Pu-'

'Here ya go.' Geli said firmly, clicking her fingers. Strange tingling sensations run through Vash's nervous system like wild fire, causing him to shiver uncontrollably. 'Your Wings and Halo. You are now an official graduate of Heiloz Inc. Congrats!'

'Wings?' he repeated, suddenly lost. Ange giggled.

'You're a Guardian Angel, silly! You now have Wings and a Halo! But don't worry. They only appear when you need them. Puppy will tell you ALL about it!'

'WHAT is happening?!' Vash suddenly demanded, standing alone in the middle of a pile of sweet things. Lina eyed him.

'We are sending you down to Gunsmoke now. There is not anything else we can teach you, and you blow too many things up. At least they are used to it.' she said stoically. Geli nodded.

'Here,' she said, handing him a small electronic key card. 'is your Meta-Kard. It will tell you who your assignment is. You can use it to contact other Wingers too.' She patted him on the back. Ange bounded up and hugged him violently.

'Puppy will tell you how to work everything, it's ok Vashu...' she burbled, sniffed then planted a kiss on his cheek. 'VASSHUUUUU!!' she wailed, beginning to bawl.

'I- I- Don't under-' Vash managed, completely and utterly lost. Ange stepped away, wiping her eyes. Lina rolled her own and pressed the enter key on her laptop.

'Nice doing business with you.' she said dully, as the sand dropped away in a trap door effect, Vash dropping, screaming of course, into the unknown.

The three sisters watched as the trapdoor closed after him. They turned to each other.

'I wonder if we did the right thing?' Geli asked.

'I think so. Puppy will be able to teach him better than we could.' Ange replied firmly.

'Anyway, we couldn't afford his company any longer.' Lina stated firmly, returning to her calculator. They all shrugged and went back to whatever it was they were doing before the 60 billion double dollar man had plummeted into their world.

-----*+*-----

-----AUTHOR'S NOTES-----

Lynda: YES. Yes, Angelina, as in Wolfwood's bike 'Angelina'. I don't know where the idea came from, or why they were Angel Trainers, but hey! Who knows where thoughts come from! They just arrive!
And now you know why the Title is as it is! ^__^

Kuroneko: Mya... =^-_-^=

Lynda: And I mentioned a lot of people I liked in the first part. 'James Stuart'? Mwaaa...I wonder... This is just a silly fic... -_-;;

Kuroneko: Mya!!