Trigun Fan Fiction ❯ High Speed Romance ❯ A Brief Respite And At The Edge Of A Heartache ( Chapter 4 )

High Speed Romance

By Bekka Mouri

(Trigun doesn't belong to me and I am not making any money from this so please don't sue. The night after the hot spring, Wolfwood finds himself alone [well, Vash is passed out drunk] and thinking. I'm going to take a stab at doing a first person POV for Wolfwood.)

Part Six: Brief Respite

I wish needle noggin didn't snore so damn much… It makes it hard to think. Then again, maybe it would be better not to think at all because all I can think about is her. What the hell am I doing to that girl? What has come over me?

Why did she have to look so damn pretty in New Oregon? I should have kept walking… maybe she wouldn't have come up to me and maybe I would have never kissed her. I should have kept walking and it wouldn't have happened… the fuse would have never been lit.

I just wanted to die when the ship crashed… it was my fault. I was so angry, I slipped off and I gave Leonof what he had coming to him for using his puppets the way he did. It didn't make me feel much better but at least I stopped him. In hindsight, I'm glad that cavalryman came around and interrupted us on the ridge.

I couldn't leave her alone though and finding that damn hot spring didn't help at all. I should have just talked shit with Vash and ignored the girls. Was I really that bored to listen to a couple of girls talk about girl stuff? I wish they had been talking about something gross, like their cramps or something else that a man wouldn't want to hear about.

I look over at Vash. He is such a wuss. He's already passed out and he's only had half of the alcohol that I have had. Why does he have to be so perfect?

He manages to get his ass out of the most impossible situations and I still don't understand how. I know his luck is going to crap out on him one of these days and it isn't going to be pretty. I don't understand how come he isn't dead yet… I would be if I went around like a fool, playing like not even God could touch me.

That kid is crying for his mother again… I can hear him. Meryl and Milly are in the room with the kids so one of them will be there any second to let the boy know everything is okay. Women are so amazing… they can tell you everything is right with the world with one touch of their hand. I know that's how she makes me feel… so why do I want to ruin it?

I know time is running short and I know I promised him I would have Vash there by now but these kids needed us. I know he won't like that excuse but as long as I get my money so I can go home to MY kids, I don't care. I just have to deliver Vash unharmed and I can leave. I just have to get him there before I find myself doing anything else to Milly… I don't want to hurt her.

She's so innocent and she probably thinks everything I'm doing to her means I love her. She won't understand I'm using her as a diversion from my pain. Am I using her or am I in love with her? There is so much to love about her but I don't think she deserves to be stuck with a bastard like me… she deserves someone like Vash.

I can't help but laugh at that… Milly and Vash. They're so much a like and they would probably make each other really happy. I know that would hurt Meryl though… I can see it in her eyes that she is trying not to let on but she likes Vash. She could keep his ass in line, not enable his foolishness like Milly would.

Why am I even thinking about that? I know what will happen to Vash when I get him to Knives. Knives is probably going to beat him into submission or kill him if he doesn't cooperate. After he does that… who knows what will happen?

The alcohol is starting to kick in and I can't keep my eyes open. I guess I'll just let myself pass out and see what happens tomorrow…

High Speed Romance

By Bekka Mouri

(Trigun doesn't belong to me. I know the whole Milly/Wolfwood thing seems beat to death but I had to write this lemon. It's from Milly's point of view. And hell yes, this is long… and very lemony.)

Part Seven: At The Edge Of Heartache

" Are you sure he's there, Meryl? " I asked, trying to hide the hopeful tone that threatened to creep into my voice as I sat on the bed in her room. I had not seen him since Kebas when he shot the boy… the boy that turned out to be one of the Gung-Ho Guns. I still felt numb from seeing it happen; who would have thought he would have done such a thing?

Somehow he had ended up in the same town as us, Meryl, Mr. Vash and myself. I think Meryl saw him but I had a hard time believing it. The look in his eyes when he looked at me on that rooftop… it made me want to hold him and make everything all right… to find out why he seemed so hurt. He looked like he would walk away and I… we would never see him ever again.

" Yes, Milly. He's been away from us for a few days and I'm sure he hasn't had anything to eat, " Meryl nodded as she finished making the sandwiches. " I think he'll appreciate this. The way I look at it, there's a good possibility he saved my life as well as Vash's. "

" You really think so? " I asked.

" Imagine what it looked like to him when he got there… " Meryl sighed as she started to wrap the sandwiches in a cloth. " He was probably acting on reflexes when he saw those guns aimed at us. "

" But Meryl… " I said, looking at her back.

" I'm not saying he should have shot the kid but… " Meryl's shoulders slumped a little. She was quiet for a long time before she shook her head, " It all happened so fast… maybe the boy didn't have to die but… "

" Maybe not… " I sighed. " And maybe he was acting on reflex like you said. "

Meryl turned around and offered me the wrapped sandwiches, " We can't change what happened now. Just go give these to him… "

I stood up and took them, " Should I take along some coffee? "

Meryl nodded, " I guess it wouldn't hurt. Do you know where it is? "

We had divided the rations equally between the two of us so we could share the job of carrying them and I had the coffee as well as a few other things. I nodded, " Its with my things in my room. I'll stop by there and grab it on my way out. "

" Okay. I think I saw him go in that house across the square, " Meryl pointed at where she spoke of.

" If you're sure, " I said. I would look in every house if I had to but Meryl didn't need to know that.

" I'm sure. I'll see you when you get back, " Meryl walked to the door that connect her room to mine and opened it.

I walked into my room and waited for her to shut the door before I walked to the bed. I set the sandwiches on the bed and I crouched down to get into my suitcase. I moved my pajamas and pulled out the jar of coffee from where I had it wedged so it wouldn't get broken. I set it on the floor and went to put my nightclothes back.

My hand rested on the soft yellow fabric as I thought for a moment about what I was going to go do. I wanted to talk to him and be there for him but what if that took all night? What if something else happened? I released the strap on my gun and put it against the wall.

I really wasn't sure how much of a good move it was; the town was deserted but that didn't mean we were safe. There was no way to tell if The Gung-Ho Guns were hiding somewhere and waiting for the perfect moment to strike. It would be a perfect place if they wanted to murder us all because the town was deserted and our bodies would probably never be discovered… ever. I chewed my lip for a moment before I decided I had better take it just in case and put it back under my coat.

I picked up the sandwiches from the bed and left my room. Meryl and I are great friends but it is nice to have adjoining rooms so we can have some privacy. I really don't want her to worry about me because she has enough to worry about with keeping an eye on Mr. Vash. I'm a big girl and there is a man who needs someone to talk to so I'm going to do it because I should.

I went down the stairs and out the front door, stopping to stare at the building Meryl said he was in. I took a deep breath and stepped out into the square. Before I knew it, I was at the door of the small house and I went inside. It was very quiet and I almost thought he wasn't there but I could smell his cigarettes so I called to him in the cheeriest voice I could muster as I opened the door I thought he was behind.

He was there; sitting on the bed with his shoulder hunched and the room was thick with cigarette smoke. I told him about the sandwiches and asked him if he took his coffee black without giving him a chance to respond before I started to make it in the little kitchenette that was next to the room. Things became horribly silent again so I tried to make as much noise as I could with the measuring spoon, jar and coffee pot. He was being too quiet and it bothered me because I had never seen him so despondent before.

Finally, I heard him move and he spoke to me. He asked me why I hadn't said anything but I acted like I didn't know what he was talking about. He told me he was talking about him killing the kid and I told him how I felt. He asked me what I would have done and I told him that I didn't know. He didn't like that answer very much and he started to talk to me.

I listened to him but I really didn't know what he was talking about. He talked about Mr. Vash and wondered how he could keep pushing his beliefs in such a stressful situation. I told him that was the way Mr. Vash had always been and I gave him his coffee. He stared into it and started to say things that did not make much sense to me but I listened as he said he had been 'ordered' to protect Mr. Vash and that he was supposed to be there for him.

He put a hand over his eyes and started to cry, asking me if he had always chosen the right path. I couldn't answer that so I just wrapped my arms around him and let him cry. He dropped the cup and wrapped his arm around me, clinging to me as he cried. I buried my chin in his hair as he tried to collect himself and he pulled away a little.

" Thank you, " He sniffled. " You're so kind. "

I held him and told him he needed his strength. I asked him to eat the sandwiches and he asked me to eat them with him as he pulled away just a little. I said I would and that I was a little hungry but I also told him that I didn't want him to be alone. He looked up at me, his gaze pleading and asked me again to stay with him as if he thought his ears had fooled him the first time I said I would.

" Yes, " I said.

He lifted the hand that had been around my waist and ran the back of his fingers across my cheek. " You're such a good girl, Milly. "

" Thank you, Mr. Priest, " I said. " My big-big sister always told me to help those in need. "

" Even when they are killers? " He asked quietly.

I looked down into his eyes and brought my hand up, running my fingers along his jaw. " You did it to save Mr. Vash and Meryl but that doesn't make it right. "

" But he could have shot Vash and Meryl, " He placed his hand over mine and held it to his cheek. " It wouldn't have been right for him to kill them. "

" I know, " I sighed. I noticed his suit was a little looser than usual and decided to push the sandwiches one more time. " Maybe you'll feel better if you get some food in you. You haven't eaten in a couple of days, have you? "

He opened his mouth to respond but his stomach growled before he had a chance to answer and he gave me a half-hearted grin, " Not since I left you guys back in Kebas. "

He let his hand fall away from mine and I pulled away, feeling like I was losing part of myself when his arm fell from around my waist. He had always looked so strong and handsome to me but now he looked like a lost little boy, not sure what to do or where to go. I hurried to the kitchen and got the sandwiches, not wanting to leave him alone for a moment. When I returned, he was pushing the blanket towards the wall.

" Why are you doing that for? " I asked, setting the sandwiches down on the table.

" It looked a little dusty and I didn't want you to get your pants dirty, " He moved the table closer to the bed and I took my stun gun from under my coat, propping it against the wall before I took off the garment.

" Oh, " I said although it didn't make much sense to me. Everything in room was dusty from being left alone for so long and he hadn't cared about getting his pants dusty.

He looked at my gun and back at me as I folded my coat neatly, " Were you afraid of something, big girl? "

I shook my head as I dusted a spot on the floor off and set my coat down, " No but you never know what could happen with Mr. Vash around. He sure makes life interesting. "

" Amen to that, " He sighed moved over a little. " Sorry for the lack of chairs. Whoever lived here must have not got a whole lot of visitors. "

I sat down next to him and smiled. " I guess not. "

I untied the sandwiches and spread the cloth out, smoothing it with my hands that I was trying so hard to hold steady and hoping he wouldn't notice my nervousness. I stopped when I noticed how many cigarette butts were piled into the ashtray, wondering if it was possible to smoke that much and not be sick from it. It became ever clearer to me how much stress he was feeling just by the sight of the ashtray.

He stared at me for a long moment and looked away. " You don't have to stay if you don't want to. "

I felt a little nervous being so close to him for some reason. He had really thrown me for a loop when he used me as a pillow on the bus to May City but this was different and I was a different kind of nervous then. He was a virtual stranger back then and I knew very little about him. I still didn't do that much about him but that didn't matter.

I thought about the night on the ridge and how his touch made me feel complete. My mind jumped to the blurry night at the geo-plant although I'm sure not much happened. When we woke up the next morning, Mr. Vash and Meryl were also in the room. I wish I had a camera because the sight was just too funny and needed to be preserved.

Meryl and Vash were asleep in each other's arms, drool spots on them from where the other had their head resting. When Meryl woke up, she found Mr. Vash had drooled on her chest and punched him awake. They kept their distance from each other that whole day but I'm sure nothing happened. Mr. Vash seems way too nice even though he flirts like a teenager.

The next thing I recalled was the night at the abandoned hot springs resort and I stopped myself from shivering. He and I had continued what we started on the ridge but I got scared so he used his mouth on me to show me there was nothing to be afraid of. He made me feel wonderful but I wondered if he felt bad because I found myself in my room the next morning all alone.

Even after all of that, I didn't know much about him and I was sure I didn't really want to know about his past. It didn't matter to me, what did was being there for him now so he wouldn't be alone and do something rash. He was as unpredictable as Mr. Vash but seemed to think quite a bit differently and that meant he could possibly pose a danger to himself considering the state he seemed to be in. I had never seen anyone as sad as he was when I came in and it scared me to think he would do if he were left alone with himself.

" I want to stay, " I said quietly. I picked up a sandwich and offered it to him. He took it, nodding his thanks before he took a bite. I watched him take a few more bites and he looked at me. I grabbed a sandwich of my own and took a nibble from it.

We ate in silence for a few minutes and I tried to look at other things in the bare little room but my eyes always went back to him. I hoped I wasn't making him uncomfortable or nervous because I had come to him. I could feel him looking at me, so I faced him and our eyes made contact. He gazed at me for a long moment before he reached for my sandwich and took it from my hands, placing it on the cloth with the last one before he brought his hand to my face again.

His touch made a shiver past through me and I leaned into it a little, recalling how he had cradled my face when he told me he would force me to do anything I didn't want to. I shut my eyes as I inhaled the scent of cigarettes, the smell making me relax a little. There had been times when I thought about him touching me and doing things I had read about in the tattered romance novels my big sisters had under their beds but the things I had read never felt like this.

I took in a sharp breath when I felt him come closer and could feel heat come to my cheeks when he kissed me. I returned the kiss and parted my lips just a little. He parted his and I could taste the cigarettes as well as the sandwich he had just eaten. He probed my lips with his tongue before pushing further in and I met him with mine.

We kissed for a long moment then he pulled away, looking a little ashamed as he looked at the floor. " Did I do something wrong? " I asked.

He shook his head and looked at me, " No. Milly? "

" Yes, Mr. Priest? " I felt my stomach tighten. Was he going to tell me to leave? Had I offended him?

" We shouldn't have done those things we did… it wasn't right of me, " He said.

" Oh, " I sighed. I knew what he meant because priests weren't supposed to do the things he had done to me but I didn't want to leave him. I wanted to stay by his side no matter what happened.

" It's not that I don't want you here, big girl. I'm afraid that something might happen between us if you stay though… are you still sure you want to stay? " He looked deep into my eyes with an intense seriousness but I could also see neediness in the gaze.

I took a deep breath and shut my eyes. I knew what he was afraid of something but hadn't I said I didn't want him to be alone? Would it really be that bad if it happened… if what we avoided doing at the abandoned resort happened here? Would it have been so bad to get as close to him as two people possibly could get?

I opened my eyes and looked into his, " I will stay here with you no matter what happens between us, Mr. Wolfwood. I want to be by your side tonight because I'm afraid of what you might do if you're left alone, " My voice was so quiet, I wasn't even sure if I had spoke at all.

He looked at me in what could only be referred to as amazed gratitude, " I now know why you are the size you are. "

I blinked but wasn't sure what he meant. " Why is that? "

He brought his other hand up and hooked a finger under my chin, tilting it up a little. " Because your big heart and strong spirit would have never fit into a small person. "

" I'm here for you and will do whatever you want because I want you to be happy again, Mr. Wolfwood, " I tried to keep my voice steady because it took a lot of courage to express my feelings. " And if I have to take that step tonight… "

He pressed a finger to my lips to silence me, " Thank you, Milly. You're so sweet. I really do want you to stay but I don't want to force you into anything."

His finger fell away from my lips, " I will do what it takes because it hurt me to see you hurting like you are right now, " I said.

" Milly… " He breathed.

I shut my eyes as he took my mouth in his again, the kiss being more intense than the first one. He nibbled at my lips a little and caressed my neck, his strokes going lower until he reached my necktie. He pulled away from my mouth and took a moment to loosen the knot enough so he could remove the tie. He pulled it off and placed it on the table.

He returned his attention to me and kissed me again; letting his lips slip down my chin then to my throat. As he did that, I could feel him pushing my suspenders from my shoulders and easing them down my arms. When he had made me feel so good at the resort we were just in towels so the arduous task of undressing had not been present then and now we had to deal with it. He seemed not to mind though so I tried not to either.

Nothing seemed to matter anymore as he made his way to the other side of my neck and kissed it. I was no longer an insurance girl, he was no longer a priest and there was nothing wrong with what we were heading for at a pace that seemed so agonizingly slow to me. I was just a woman and he was just a man who needed what I could give him or at least try to give to him… if I didn't get scared and wimp out at the last moment like I had before.

I was aware of every breath I took because it seemed to catch in my throat as his lips and thick eyelashes tickled the sensitive flesh on the side of my neck. His hands went back up my arms and to the front of my shirt, his fingers making easy work of the buttons. As more of me was exposed, he would kiss the flesh as if he were branding me as his own. I felt his chin graze my breasts as he kissed his way down my sternum and I shivered hard.

He moved his calloused hands up to my shoulders and started to push my shirt away as he moved his kisses away from my breasts. I had always imagined what being touched… kissed and caressed like this had felt like but it actually happening felt a hundred times better than I had anticipated. I felt like electricity was coursing through my veins and I started to feel like I did when I read the naughty parts of the books from my sisters' secret stash of novels.

I lifted my hands and felt for the buttons of his jacket because I didn't think it was fair he was still fully clothed. I fumbled with them a little because my hands were trembling and I was very relieved that there was only two. I felt his warm rough hands on my stomach once he opened my shirt as much as he could. I shuddered as he placed kisses on swell of my breasts that weren't covered by my bra.

I let out a soft gasp as one of his hands slipped upward, brushing one of my breasts briefly as he continued on to my shoulder and slipped his fingers under the strap on my left shoulder. He did the same with his right hand as he kissed his way back to my collarbone and nuzzled the hollow of my throat with his nose. He started to nibble at my neck, the action causing me to bring my hands up and tangle in his beautiful black hair. He lifted his head up and kissed me on the mouth again.

I let my hands fall from his hair as I felt him push my bra straps from my shoulders and felt the fabric of my bra become a little looser. I reached up, seeking out the buttons of his shirt with my increasingly trembling fingers and managed to open it with only a little difficulty. I placed my hands on his stomach like he had done with me and was slightly surprised at how hard yet soft he was at the same time. His heat was still so foreign to me and I wanted to feel more of it… to make it my own.

He started to pull my shirt loose from my pants and I did the same with his shirt. I moved my hands to his shoulders and started to ease his jacket and shirt off. He pushed my shirt down my arms and stopped to catch his breath. I opened my eyes because I wanted to get a better longer look at him half-naked than I had gotten on the ridge and in the dimly lit bathing chambers of the resort.

I scanned him slowly in the fading evening light; his skin was smooth with only a few scars and he was very muscular. ~He looks so good, ~ I thought to myself. He shook his jacket and shirt the rest of the way off, folding them after he took his cigarettes out of an inner pocket. He reached behind me and placed the folded clothing at the foot of the bed.

I pulled my shirt off and dropped it in the floor. I looked at him and found he was looking me over while he lit a cigarette. He puffed on it a little bit before I heard him speak. " Why do you have to be so damn pretty, honey? " He asked so quietly I almost didn't hear him.

I blushed a little and my arms went around my waist as I looked down at the very little space that was between us. " You think I'm pretty? "

He exhaled the smoke and stamped out the cigarette although he had only taken a few drags from it. He pushed the table back where it belonged and turned to face me again. " Yes… very, " He whispered, hooking his finger under my chin and making me face him. He took my mouth in his for another hot kiss, the taste of fresh smoke tingling on my lips.

He pulled away and looked into my eyes again as he moved back from me, the ashamed look creeping back to his eyes. " I shouldn't have ever needed you like this, " He ran a hand through his hair and looked away. " But I do need you… I need you more than you could ever imagine… you make me feel like nothing in the world ever has… every time I see your smile, I can't help but feel like there a light shining for me. "

" And you make me feel the same, " I whispered. I tried to remember what the girls in the novels always said to the men but I didn't want to sound to cheesy so I picked one I had read a thousand times. " Take me and make me yours. I want to be yours. "

He looked out the window, I could tell he was trying to grasp the words I had said and I hoped he wouldn't laugh at them. The suns were vanishing behind the mountains and a violet night had started to make its way across the sky as if were chasing the suns into some unseen hiding place. He tilted his head so he could look at me, " You don't mean that… "

" Yes I do, " I replied. I was afraid he would tell me to get dressed and leave but I could tell that he wouldn't because of the look on his face. He looked at me like he was trying to make up his mind and was having a hard time doing it. He shut his eyes and kicked off his boots.

" Lay down, " He told me as he pulled his socks off and tucked them into the boots.

I did as I was told and realized where he had put his shirt and jacket at the foot of the bed made a pillow for me. He removed my shoes and socks, setting them down next to his before he climbed into the bed. He knelt at the head of the bed and looked me over. He reached for my pants and unbuckled my belt before he opened the zipper.

He hooked his fingers in the belt loops on either side and urged me to lift my hips up so he could pull the pants off. As he eased them down my legs, I noticed that the front of his pants seemed to stick out more than I had ever noticed… not that looked down there often or anything. I helped a little by pulling my legs out of the pants and he dropped them by the bed. He put his hands under my knees and eased them apart as he moved between them.

I suddenly felt very exposed even though he had seen me naked before but it had been in a dimly lit room. I could feel the heat of his body as he leaned over me and reached for the single hook that held my bra closed. I took a sharp breath at the thought of how close we were to actually doing it and his heated gaze became gentle. " Are you still okay with this? " He asked, cradling the side of my face in his left hand.

I nodded. I wanted to do anything I could to make him happy and giving myself to him was the best way I could think of. I shut my eyes as I felt him unhook my bra and let it fall to my sides. I shuddered as he stroked and kissed my breasts before taking one of my nipples into his mouth, causing me to whimper.

My hands roamed over his chest and stomach before going to his back, my fingers tracing every line of his muscles. He rose away from me with a small groan before he took my neglected nipple into his mouth and sucked it until I moaned, " Mr. Wolfwood! "

He let the nipple go and kissed me between my breasts. " I want you to call me Nicholas, Milly. Just Nicholas, " He said, his hot breath prickling the sweat where he hovered. The experience of his body pressed so close to mine was almost too much and I wanted to feel everything he could do to me, not just what he had done at the resort.

" Don't stop, Nicholas… " I murmured but the only word that seemed to audible was 'stop'.

I felt him kiss his way to my stomach then he moved away from me. The bed became lighter and I opened my eyes. He was standing next to the bed again and I thought he thought I wanted to stop. He looked at me, his smoky eyes on fire.

" If you want to stop, I won't hold it against you because this is such a big step. Do you want to stop? " He asked me, his voice sounded husky with a tinge of pleading like he didn't want me to say no.

" No… I said don't stop, " I whispered. " I want you, Nicholas. "

He looked down at my panties as his hands went to his pants. " Then those need to go, honey. They're in the way, " He said quietly.

I slid my hands under the waistband and pulled it away from my body then eased the panties down my legs and dropped them on the floor. I fought an urge to grab the blanket, reminding myself that he had seen me without clothes before. I shuddered again, recalling how he had made me feel that night. He would making me feel good again, just doing it another way.

He unzipped his pants and pulled them off but I didn't look... I guess I was scared to since I had never seen a completely naked man before. I heard him kick the pants away and get back in the bed. He stroked one of my thighs with his hand, each stroke getting higher and sending bigger shivers through me. " This is it, honey. If you want to stop now, say it or we're going all the way… I have to have you… I need you but I don't want to hurt you. "

I looked down because something was poking me in the thigh he wasn't stroking and I panicked when I saw what it was. I had no idea how he would get it inside of me because it seemed that it wouldn't fit and that it would hurt if he tried. I felt his hand getting higher until he touched me where the tension had centered. I felt one of his fingers enter me and I moaned a little loudly, the sensation startling me a bit.

" It's okay, honey. Just tell me if you're scared… if you want to call it quits, I won't blame you. You can say stop and I will, " He whispered as he slipped another finger into me. He moved them in and out of me, sensations that he had caused before starting to radiate through my body.

I moaned and I tried not to get lost in the feelings he was causing in me. " I'm afraid it will hurt. "

" I promise I'll try not to hurt you, " He said as my hips started to move with his stroking. " Do you trust me? "

I nodded, " I trust you, " I gasped.

He removed his fingers and I braced myself for him to enter me. ~This is what you wanted… this is what you wanted… ~ I reminded myself as I felt him urge my hips up a little before placing his tip at my opening. I could feel him pushing at me a little but he stopped and placed a hand on my cheek.

" I promise this will feel really good… just like the other night. Remember how good that felt? " He said, stroking my face. " Please trust me and relax, honey. "

" I'll try… " I said. I tried to take some deep breaths but it didn't work.

" Honey? " He whispered.

" Yes? " I answered, my heart pounding in my throat.

He covered my mouth with his and kissed me hard as he thrust his hips, pushing his length into me and I screamed because I felt something tear. He didn't move except to move his lips to my cheeks so he could kiss away the hot tears that had come to my eyes. " I'm sorry, " He whispered.

" It's okay, " I stammered. " It didn't hurt that bad. It was just a shock, that's all. "

He moved his hips a little and I gasped. " It will only hurt for a little while. If you can't stand it, tell me. "

I nodded and he started to move his hips against mine. At first, each movement stung but it started to feel good after a few moments and I tried to move with him. He nuzzled the side of my neck then planted erratic kisses on my shoulders and chest as he started to move a little more. I wrapped my legs around his hips to see what would happen and I felt him going deeper into me.

" Oh honey… I love you, " He murmured, one of his hands slipping down to stroke my thigh. I felt like the electricity in my body was starting to rise to the point of overload but I craved to make it go past the that point and I put my hands on his back, not wanting him to get away from me at all. I tightened my legs around him when I could feel the tension reaching it's limits and then cried out as my inner muscles gripped him, my hips pushing up against his. He started to push into me as deep as he could while my world seems to swirl in the growing darkness.

" Oh God! " He shouted before I heard him suck in a sharp breath through his teeth, his muscles tightening and relaxing slowly before he let the breath out slowly. Time was meaningless as he remained within me, our bodies trembling against each other and our sweat mingling at each point where we were touching. He wrapped his arms around me and rolled us gently on our side as he pulled out of me.

I nuzzled my head against his chest as he buried his chin in my hair, clinging to him like I would never let him go. I planted tiny kisses on his chest as he stroked my spine, " Thank you, honey, " He murmured into my hair. I drifted off to sleep a short time later and was only numbly aware when he got out of the bed, pulling the blanket over me.

**

I opened my eyes slowly and found my makeshift pillow was no longer under my head. Instead, I was looking at it as Nicholas pulled it on over the other part of his clothing that had provided a pillow for me. The air didn't feel right for some reason and I felt suddenly scared. " Nicholas? " I managed to find my voice.

He looked over his shoulder at me, " I was hoping to be gone by the time you woke up. "

" Why? What's wrong? " I asked.

" If I had left you while you were sleeping, I wouldn't have had to say goodbye. "

" What do you mean? Are you leaving us again? If you talk to Mr. Vash, maybe you can come to an understanding… " I scrambled to find something to make him stay.

" Look, I have to go. There are things I need to take care of honey, " He muttered as he ran his hand through his hair.

" Are you in some kind of danger? I'll get dressed and I'll… " I looked to my stun gun. I really didn't know what I was going to do but I wouldn't let him go out there all by himself.

He reached into his jacket and pulled out a cigarette. He lit it and shook the match out. He stood there and smoked for what seemed a very long time. He then turned, moved towards the bed and looked out the window before he faced me. I could feel he was stressing out about something as well as trying to find the words to say to me.

" You have to promise me you won't move from this spot, no matter what, until I come back, " He said, leaning down to me. His gray eyes were more serious than I had ever seen them in the time I had known him.

" But… " I said, grabbing his hand in mine, " What if you don't come back? What will I do? "

He kissed me slowly and sweetly, his mouth tasted like cigarettes and I really didn't mind because I was starting to like it. I wanted it to last forever but I knew it couldn't. I wished the night before could have gone on forever as well but it hadn't. He pulled away, " Honey, I don't even want to think about that. "

" I promise to stay here if you promise to come back, " I said.

He took a long drag from his cigarette and sighed, " I promise I will come back. "

" Then I will stay right here, " I said quietly.

" Thanks for letting me be your first, " He placed his hand on my cheek and looked into my eyes for a long time before taking up his cross. He stopped at the door for only a moment before walking out the room and shutting the door behind him.

(End)