Trigun Fan Fiction ❯ In His Eyes ❯ Anniversary of Goodbye ( Chapter 2 )

If you haven't figured out by now, Trigun doesn't belong to me, and neither do any of its characters. However, my actual Vash plushie is mine forever and always. Also, for those of you just tuning in, about 95% of this story is mainly Meryl's internal monologue, because I suck at writing dialogue, and also because its easier to catch up with the story timeline with some good old angsty thoughts. And now I present you with the next chapter.

Anniversary of Goodbye

(Two years and four months later…)

It's been two years. Two long, empty years of my life. Before Vash, I never realized just how pathetic my life had been. Returning to the office at first was almost painful; mainly because returning with nothing more to show than handfuls of accident reports and a semi-permanent sunburn was stupid. Even more, it was cowardly. I had been cowardly not to follow him, and now he was gone.

The teasing from my co-workers barely bothers me, though. All the comments from the people I once called friends barely penetrate anymore. It was all I could do not to look for solace from Milly. She's really the only person I can count on anymore. Not like I could ever depend on him.

And yet…I never stop thinking about him. My average daily routine starts and ends with him. Some tough Bernardelli representative I am. Some days, it's hard to believe that it's been two years. I would have followed. Even then, when I refused to listen to my heart, I would have followed him to the ends of this rotten dust ball of a planet, if the need arose.

But he had given me that speech, and then just walked off into the blazing sands all alone. Alone, so completely alone. My dinner plate drips soapy water onto my clean shirt, and then slips into the tiny sink of my apartment's kitchen. I snap out of my stupor and rinse it off.

I shouldn't still be like this. Vash made it clear enough that he wanted nothing to do with us on numerous occasions. More precisely, he wanted nothing to do with me. Any man like that could have just about any woman he wanted. That last image of him walking away into the swirling sands plays again in my mind, and I move quickly around my kitchen, focusing on clearing the remains of my small dinner to avoid remembering.

With my household chores completed, there's nothing else to do other than sit and remember. Tonight of all nights, I don't want to remember. I wish Milly were here. She's at home with her family, spending a few hours with the people that love her. The picture of my parents sits on the makeshift mantle in my so-called living room.

They've been dead and gone for years now. Has it gotten cold in here somehow? I wrap my arms around my shoulders and stare at the photo. I have my father's chin. His is lifted a little defiantly at the camera, but his eyes twinkle merrily. My mother is dwarfed by his height as she stands by his side.

As a child, all my relatives would remark how I always resembled her. Ivy's little girl…just as beautiful and as stubborn as her mother. Everyone would always chuckle, and I'd just sit there like the polite child I had been taught to be.

Almost unconsciously, my hand strays out to trace their faces behind the protective glass. My mother's enormous eyes stare back, forever frozen in the same twinkle as my father. She was a beautiful woman…beautiful and determined. I remember that Father always had a hard time denying her anything when they both knew she would do whatever it took to get it. No one could ever deny her, because she always did so much for others at the same time. For that, everyone in our town adored her. I knew even at an early age that I would never be like her, no matter how hard I tried.

How I wish now that I could have some of that strength…the unobtrusive ticking of the clock behind me tolls the half-hour, and I glance at it with a small sigh. It's only 8:30, but I have to be up early enough tomorrow to make it to work on time. If anything, sleep will make me forget today: the anniversary of his last goodbye. Maybe I will go to bed early tonight, if only to forget.