Trigun Fan Fiction ❯ Of the Living and the Dead ❯ Of the Living and the Dead ( Chapter 1 )

[ A - All Readers ]

Disclaimer: I own Trigun anime and Trigun manga, but not Trigun itself. (Darn you, Yasuhiro Nightow!)

A/N: Ok, this is all Vash's POV after he kills Legato. Something like this has probably been done before, but I felt like writing it anyway. I thought up the title before anything else, and this topic seemed to fit. Also, I felt like taking a small break from my story Cowboy Bebop Meets Trigun. This story has nothing to do with the other, but I would be very happy if you read it!

Of the Living and the Dead

I remember waking up. At first, I remembered nothing. I ached all over, and my head was throbbing.

Then, I saw it. I saw what I had done.

...Legato...the insurance girls...pulling the trigger...

What have I done?

Meryl came in to see me. She told me I had slept for 10 days. She asked me if I remembered anything.

I remembered. I knew what I had done. I had made myself a murderer. I was no better than the ones I had sworn to fight against.

I think Meryl saw something in my eyes when I told her I knew. She became awkward and left the room, saying she had something to take care of.

I was alone with my screams.

Later that day, I sat alone on a cliff at the edge of town, wondering how I could face Knives, my brother, now. I was no different. At least before, I had been on the moral high ground. Or, I had always told myself that, anyway.

The insurance girls found me. I told them I had to go see Rem. Meryl didn't understand. But, how could I go back? Especially after what I had done.

I am a monster.

I don't remember anything after that, except for the insurance girls looking after me. Day by day, they tried to instill the will to live in me again.

I had lost that, and so much more.

After a while, I began to feel better. Not whole, but better.

Not long after, I was dragged from the house, tied to the back of a truck, and pilled along behind it like a rag doll. I didn't resist. After all, who could blame them for wanting to dispose of a monster like me?

They were about to kill me when Meryl put her own life on the line to save mine.

I asked myself, Why? Why is she doing this for me? I've done nothing but bring her trouble. I deserve to die. Why?

Her answer was so simple. So simple, yet it shot me through the heart.

“No one has the right to take the life of another. Everyone deserves a future. When we were all born, were any of us made to cause others harm?”

She was saying what Rem had tried to tell me all along. Even if a mistake is made, it's possible to make it right again.

It's the living who matter, who can make the difference between failure and success. If we role over and die, no one will have a future.

As I sat there in the dust, my sudden understanding was like a beacon of hope to me. I felt my will to live being rekindled, and my determination took hold once more.

Determination. That word taught to me so long ago by the woman who loved me like a son and the red geranium, which inspired such feelings, became my strength.

I was ready.

I will save him. I'll save Knives.