Trigun Fan Fiction ❯ Painful Remembrance ❯ Alone with my Fear ( Chapter 8 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

A/N:Midvalley is not himself right now. You'll see why. This is short. The next chapter is a lemon. I feel so cruel.

WARNINGS: Death, depression, yaoi (m/m), child abuse (EVIL *stabs*), non con.

PAIRINGS: Legato x Midvalley, Midvalley x Legato, OC x Legato (non con), probably others.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Trigun or any of the characters mentioned here. If I did, it would be made into a live-action movie with Orlando Bloom playing the part of Legato so I would be allowed to drool.

Legato's gone. My neck hurts, my back hurts, my head hurts and my face hurts. More than anything else, though, my heart hurts. He hasn't bothered contacting me, so I don't know where he is or if he's even coming back. After I woke up, I decided to find out where I was exactly. Turns out Legato booked us into a hotel. Not a particularly nice hotel, but a hotel none the less. I borrowed a first aid kit from the woman at the reception desk downstairs and set about bandaging my head from where I'd hit it one the table corner. I guess I must have hit it pretty hard because it hurts like hell now and I managed to break the skin, so I woke up in a pool of blood. Fan-bloody-tastic.

Still no sign of Legato. He's been gone for hours now. I'm staring out the window to the street below, hoping with all my heart to catch a glimpse of him. I don't, though, and decide to go back to bed. It's very late, around four am, and I'm tired. I don't really want to sleep, though. Not without him. I want him here with me, holding me. That dream is still affecting me and I'm afraid. I don't want to dream again, but I'll cling to anything that lets me get closer to Legato. I didn't realise that I'd fallen for him quite so hard.

~*~

It hurts. Gods it hurts; like a thousand needles being inserted into my lower back. I lie still, trying not to move, not to breathe, but it still hurts. Daddy left a while ago to go out with Mama. I think they went drinking, which means the worst is yet to come. They weren't gentle with me tonight, so later will be very bad. I'm crying, I can feel the tears running down my face, crying like a little baby. I shouldn't cry, it would make Daddy angry if he saw.

"Legato?" Kyana is at the door, creeping into my room even though there is no one to hear her anyway. I can't move to look at her, it's not worth the pain. I feel the bed move slightly beside me as she sits down and I whimper as the movement jostles me. "They did it again, didn't they?" She didn't need an answer, didn't expect one as she already knew what it would be.

They don't hurt Kyana, they love Kyana. They don't love me, so they hurt me. I've been called names all of my life because of my 'unusual' appearance. 'Devil-child' is one of their favourites, as well as 'spawn of Satan' and 'freak'. They don't call Kyana any of those things, but she's normal. Not like me. I don't resent Kyana for being the favourite, as she is the only one who cares for me. The teachers at school, other parents, children, none of them care and they've all seen the bruises, the marks left after my 'punishments'. Kyana cares. She dresses my wounds, sets my broken bones and comforts me afterwards.

All she can do now is comfort, stroking my hair slowly, softly, making me relax so it doesn't hurt as much any more. I love it when people play with my hair. Kyana plays with it a lot, she thinks that it's pretty. Daddy and mama hate it. They pull it out.

This type of punishment is the worst.

~*~

"...bastard." I can hear the voice, Legato's voice, pulling me from slumber. He doesn't say any more, and I didn't catch what he said first, but the one word I managed to catch is enough. Still under the influence of the dream, and now Legato's callous insult, I burst into tears and can't stop for a long time.

I lie still on the bed, sniffling softly and generally feeling sorry for myself. I know now that Legato isn't coming back, that's he's gone on without me. My best bet is to return home, if I can even get there by myself. I could steal a car, since I haven't got enough money to buy one myself, but there is a possibility I could get caught. Ah, what the hell, I've not got much to live for now anyway. So, the car it is. I decide to wait for a few hours, though, until it gets dark out.

I leave the hotel, trying to look inconspicuous. It's dark again, so I don't have to worry as much about being spotted doing something I shouldn't. I spot my target almost immediately; a couple leaving their vehicle, staggering drunkenly into a hotel just across the street. They don't even bother to lock the car, what luck!

It doesn't take me long to hot-wire the car. It starts with a purr, pulling away from the hotel and disappearing from the view of its owner forever. I should feel some remorse, I guess, but I don't. Serves them right for not locking it. Not that that would have stopped me, just made me feel a little more sorry for them. Possibly.

As hard as I try, I just can't seem to get Legato off my mind. Each train of thought I follow seems to lead straight back to him. I really miss him. I miss his voice, his hair, the way he has that secret smile just for me. I even miss the sex a little. Ok, so I miss the sex a lot, but not just the sex. I want him back.

It took me nearly three days to return home. Three days of brooding and thinking about Legato. It would have taken me half the time, had I not gone off course and had to double back.

Knives was not at all happy when I returned; turns out Legato had arrived back two days before me with the Siren. I knew I was in trouble even before I stepped into the room he reserves for meeting with us. The look on his face just proved that I was right, and it terrified me.

It was the same as Legato.

A/N: Er...yeah. I doubt very much if you'll like the next chapter. It wont be posted on FF.net, just on MM and AFF, since it's...horrible. I hate myself.